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“Babe, babe please I’m dying.” Jesse groaned from his place on the couch, where he was curled up with a blanket, and a heating pad pressed against his stomach.
“So you have said for the last three days.” Hanzo said he was frowning, but his tone was fond.
“But I’m serious this time, I’m gonna die, unless…” Jesse faced his partner, with the best puppy dog eyes he could muster.
“Unless?” Hanzo raised his brow and walked closer to the couch, leaning over the top to peer down at Jesse.
“Unless, my darling loving partner, who I adore with every inch of my soul, goes and gets me mint chocolate ice cream right now.”
Hanzo made a face and couldn’t suppress a laugh, “Of all things you could be craving, you’re craving toothpaste ice cream?”
“It does not taste like toothpaste! It is for those that have a highly sophisticated palette.”
“I watched you eat an onion dipped in carmel once.”
Jesse raised his finger as if to make a point, but quickly put it back down. “Fair point, but that still doesn’t dismiss the fact that my mortal life is at stake.”
Hanzo just rolled his eyes, and quickly ran his hands through his partner’s hair, before making his way towards their front door to put his shoes on. “Fortunately for you, I love you enough to go outside at nine o’ clock at night to get the antidote to all your problems.”
Jesse’s smile was practically luminous, “Thanks, sugar.” Hanzo just waved him off and grabbed his keys, Jesse spoke up again before he could walk out the door. “Hey, could you get me some pads too, I’m almost out.”
Hanzo turned around, frowning. “Did you forget them when we went to the store last week? I thought we talked about you being more prepared for this.”
Jesse sighed, and smiled apologetically. “Yeah I know. You know me, I got a whole twenty five days to forget about it, so I’m gonna forget about it.”
“I know. I just don’t want you to run out.”
“And that’s part of why I love you!” Jesse put on his best smile, and shot a set finger guns at Hanzo, before sobering slightly, and sighing. “I’ll try harder this time. Make a notification on my phone or something.”
“I would appreciate it.” Hanzo smiled. “Anything else you need? I can get some tampons too.”
Jesse grimaced and shook his head, “Nah, not this time around. Pelvic pain is being a bitch.” Hanzo shot him a worried look, and McCree waved him off. “Don’t worry, it's not that bad, haven’t even needed any tylenol, it's just uncomfortable.”
“Alright.” Hanzo opened the door, waving as he left. “Don’t die in my absence.” Jesse’s laughter followed him out the door, and into the night.
When Hanzo returned, Jesse was up and about in the kitchen, nursing a cup of coffee, as he could already tell this was going to be an insomnia night for him. Hanzo looked harried, and slammed the door behind him, although he stopped one step short of kicking his shoes against the wall.
“Jesus, darlin’, what happened.”
Hanzo plopped the bags on the counter, and wrapped his arms tightly around Jesse. The two of them just stood in silence for a few moments as Jesse listened to Hanzo regulate his breathing. While Hanzo’s breathing slowed, the bluish gray tint of his true form was still mottled over his skin.
“You can drop your glamour if you need to sugar.” Jesse was patient, and just slowly rubbed Hanzo’s back until Hanzo pulled away from him, calmer, and much larger than he was several moments ago with his glamour dropped.
“I want you to know, that the only reason I do not murder the idiots of the world, is because I know it would upset you.”
Jesse couldn’t suppress a laugh and just shook his head, “What happened this time?”
Hanzo had a tendency of being far less patient with others bullshit than Jesse did, particularly when I came to random strangers asking stupid questions, especially if those questions dealt with his partner’s gender presentation. Jesse hadn’t been on T consistently for years, he’d been on long enough when he was younger to keep most of the effects, back when life had been stable with the guild, but as he got older, and the jobs got more dangerous, it was easier to let it lapse if it meant staying alive. Since Hanzo had entered his life, and he felt more secure, he’d started the process to get back on it, but it was slow. It didn’t look like he’d be able to go on again for a few months at least, so in the meantime, they stuck dealing with the occasional stupid asshole and his period.
Jesse was more tolerant of the assholes, depending on the level of asshole, and Hanzo was more tolerant of Jesse’s period. It was a good system.
“The cashier recognized me and asked where you were. When she saw the pads, she decided it would be funny to make a comment about my girlfriend, clearly referring to you. I tried to let it go, and not say anything, but she decided that she did not value her life today and continued, and now we have to find another grocery store.”
“I think that’s a bit drastic hun. You know I’ve heard worse than that, we don’t have to find a whole other grocery store because of it, besides we can just avoid her lane.”
Hanzo was damnably silent.
“Hanzo...is there a particular reason we’re going to have to find a new grocery store?”
“I do not think management took too kindly to dumping a slightly melted carton of mint chocolate ice cream all over the scanner and her computer, and also her. Incidentally, I did get us out of paying for damages though.”
Jesse sighed and leaned against the counter, already thinking about how many more miles he’d have to travel just to get groceries now. “Do I even want to know how you did that?”
“More than likely not.”
“Please tell me you got me another carton of ice cream.”
Hanzo was once again damnably silent.
“Babe.”
“Yes, beloved.”
“I am going to give you a five second head start, and then I am going to kill you.”
“I got oreos?” Hanzo said, tentatively pulling it out a bag that clearly came from the gas station down the street.
“Your life is safe...for now.” Jesse took the oreos already opening the pack to grab one. “While I appreciate you defending my honor, you know I basically have to chaperone you on grocery runs now.”
Hanzo narrowed his eyes, “I am an adult.”
“My current lack of ice cream says otherwise.” Jesse just raised his brow, separated another oreo, and started to lick the icing off of it.
Hanzo just shook his head, and wrapped his arms lightly around Jesse. “I don’t appreciate them disrespecting you. If they knew what you’ve done--”
“It wouldn’t change their opinion and you know it.” Jesse replied. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, just enjoying the affection for a few moments.
“I don’t understand how you can just let them say those things.” Hanzo sighed and buried his face in Jesse’s hair, breathing in his scent.
“Because they’re assholes, and I learned a long time ago to stop giving a shit about what they think about me.” Jesse placed his hand over Hanzo’s stroking his thumb over the back of his hand.
“Doesn’t it bother you?”
“Sometimes. Sometimes it makes me so angry I could fucking scream, but most of the time I just can’t be bothered to spend energy on people who will never listen to me, or respect me to begin with, so why give them any satisfaction.” Jesse pulled away to take a swig of his coffee. “Besides, that’s what I have you for isn’t it? My own personal demon I can sick on all those religious types.”
Hanzo just scoffed, “Is that all I’m good for, demon possession and oreo delivery?”
Jesse hummed, “No, but unfortunately I’m in a little too much pain right now to help demonstrate what else you’re good at.”
Hanzo’s expression changed in an instant, “Do you need me to get you something for it?”
Jesse nodded, and grabbed his partner’s hand, leading the two of them over to the couch. “Absolutely, I need your company and your best opinions on the worst films. I’m feeling like a movie night.” He settled back into the couch, pulling the blanket back over himself, and putting the heating pad on again, but leaving enough room for Hanzo. “Grab the oreos.”
Hanzo groaned, but made his way to the kitchen all the same, “Is this retribution for the ice cream?”
“You bet your sweet ass it is, I’m still mad about it. Now get over here, you’re like a damn furnace and I wanna cuddle you.”
Hanzo sat back on the couch, oreos in hand. “I love you.”
“I love you too, now sit down, we’re watching Troll 2.”
“I take it back, I don’t love you anymore.”
“Aw babe! You can’t do that to me, I’m a dying man!”
The two of them laughed as the opening credits rolled, and Jesse smacked Hanzo’s hand as he tried to reach for an oreo. Jesse knew he would always hate these five uncomfortable days, but at least having Hanzo around made everything a bit more bearable, even if he destroyed his ice cream