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“I’ll announce the trainee in third place” said Lee Dongwook slowly while trying to create the suspense that people would expect from a produce final, making the group of boys watching from their dorm get even more nervous than they already were.
“It probably won’t be him, there’s a lot of people who haven’t been called,” Byungchan said breaking the silence “it can’t be possible that neither Jinhyuk hyung or Minkyu did it, and we all know that Yohan and Wooseok hyung are the first and second place so maybe he won’t make it”
“We don’t know that yet, Seungwoo hyung it’s charming and just had an explosion of popularity, and now that you aren’t there he has all the votes from our fans” responded Hanse without looking up from the tv.
Seungsik didn’t want to listen anymore, he couldn’t. When Seungwoo was called in fourth place in the last elimination he knew what was coming. Their leader was making a really good job promoting them, such a good job that made the nation fall in love with him, just how he made Seungsik fall years ago, and now he’s going to be away for years, living a new life with his new group. He wants to scream and cry, he wants to fight their agency for making Seungwoo and Byungchan go through the hell of the survival show, but he can’t, not when the other two are finally receiving the love and attention they deserve, not when they are finally getting the opportunity of having a comeback. But he can’t help but wonder, why do they have to lose their leader to be able to go on stage again?
Time goes slowly and the camera shows different faces, but Seungsik can only wait for it to show Seungwoo. He looks beautiful this night, even more so that every other night they spent together. Those nights in the practice room, singing love songs to each other with the excuse of warming up their voices, those nights in the dorm discussing different parts of their new choreographies so the rest of the group can have an easier time learning them or even those nights they went out to get too drunk to distract themselves of the pains idol life, those nights that now feel like they are part of a secret past that will never come back.
And Seungsik is scared, is scared of watching Seungwoo on camera looking as beautiful as he looks because he knows this night it’s going to make everything change, he will have to take Seungwoo’s place as the leader, a position he never thought he was going to have, guiding their group mates, their friends, their family alone for the first time since they became a group.
“With his own sexy image, he’s now known as one of national producer’s favorite trainees” said Dongwook after a dramatic pause.
“Oh my god that means that means it’s either hyung or Jinhyuk” said Chan with a trembling voice.
“Or Eunsang! Maybe it’s Eunsang! We don’t know yet, hyung it’s popular but people love Eunsang too” Byunchang responded. All of them could hear the despair in his voice. They went silent again, looking around, at each other. After years as coworkers, as friends, they could tell that the other was feeling desperate, fearing for what would happen to them if Seungwoo wasn’t able to come back to them anymore. Sejun and Subin looked at each other and then looked at Seungsik, and in one second they realized what the older was thinking.
“You think he’s going to make it into the group” Sejun said in disbelief looking at Seungsik, making all the other boys look from the tv, forgetting for a moment that they were supposed to be consumed by the suspense of the final. He sighed and looked around the room, at his member’s eyes as whispered “I know he will, that’s why we need to be supportive and prepare ourselves to be with him, even if we won’t have him close physically. We need him but he will need us even more” He said as the camera focused on a nervous-looking Seungwoo “we all knew this was a possibility, we talked about it before they went to the audition” he continued with a stronger voice, looking at Byungchan who was now crying, “we must be strong to help him in his new start, even if it means we won’t be together for a while”.
Watching the tv again Seungsik could only think of the last night he spent with Seungwoo before the final. Both laying in bed as the younger petted the other’s hair, they wanted that moment to last forever but they knew they couldn’t escape time.
“Seungsikie I’m scared” the older whispered, “we both know what is going to happen, I’m going to make it to the final group and I’m so scared, I don’t think I know how to be away from you anymore, away from the kids, I’m so scared of what’s coming, of not having you with me to give each other support”. For the first time in years, Seungwoo looked small, looking at him with teary eyes full of fear, wanting to be comforted.
“I won’t go anywhere tho” he responded “you will always have me, us, waiting for you, we won’t stop loving you or supporting you just because you’ll be part of another group, you will always have us, and maybe, you’ll find even more people to rely on, just remember that even if we are not physically together it doesn’t mean that you don’t have us at all” He kissed the older’s forehead softly, trying to express all the love he feels for him without using more words, letting his actions do the talking. They stayed just laying in bed for a while just looking at each other, enjoying the company of the other as they wondered when will be able to just be in bed together again.
“Plan A’s Han Seungwoo!" the voice of the actor broke the silence that followed Seungsik’s words.
Sejun and Chan just gasped after realizing how many votes their leader got, Byungchan and Hanse were now sobbing in each other’s arms and Subin seated next to Seungsik trying to hug him. None of them could say anything while they saw their leader thank the audience for their votes, for giving him a second chance. They saw him going to his seat and hugging his new members.
“They love him,” said Subin said as if he was scared to be heard, “they really look like they love him.” Seungsik smiled and looked at Subin “They probably do, he’s easy to love”
“It’s a relief to know that trainee Han Seungwoo gets to debut since every other trainee relied on him so much. A star cannot shine by itself, I believe that he’s going to be a long-lasting global idol group’s leader. Congratulations!”