Chapter Text
David’s five minute warning alarm chirped at him as he was just putting the finishing touches to his hair. He might not have his phone (god, he missed his phone) but he’d made sure to invest in a digital alarm clock with a myriad of settings to make sure he stayed on track to be ready on time in the mornings. No way was he being hauled out of his hotel room by some jobsbody production assistant before he’d had time to complete his skincare regimen or perfect his hair.
Of course, most days, his hair ended up ruined within half an hour of arriving in the Werk Room. Honestly, once this was over, he never wanted to hear the words quick drag ever again.
David smoothed down the front of his lined Neil Barrett sweater, nodded his head, and checked his bag one more time. They were about to start filming the new episode that day, so he didn’t know exactly what to prepare for, but he made sure he had a change of clothes and some snacks at least. He zipped up the bag, quickly thinking through which challenges they still needed to do. They hadn’t done the Reading Challenge yet - David had made sure to practise for that one the night before, editing his prepared reads on the remaining contestants and perfecting his delivery. There was also the Puppet Challenge - David had sketches of ideas for how to drag up a puppet for each of the other five contestants. As for maxi challenges, aside from the music video challenge that usually happened in the final studio episode, the only other one that always happened that was left to do was the makeover challenge, which he already had the outfits for. All in all, he was as prepared as he could possibly be.
There was a firm knock on his hotel room door, and David took a deep breath, grabbed his bag, slid his hotel keycard into the side pocket, picked up his waiting thermos mug, and opened the door.
Sebastien’s door, directly opposite, opened a split second after his. This had happened every single day since their first day in the hotel. Every. Single. One. The peepholes on their doors were taped over, so David was one hundred percent sure at this point that Sebastien stood with his ear pressed against his door listening to time it, just to fuck with David.
It had worked at first. The shock of watching Sebastian fucking Raine saunter into the Werk Room two queens after him in the first episode had been compounded by his smug face being the first one David saw every morning, his smirk telling David all he needed to know about how Sebastien felt about this little game. David had spent the first couple of weeks flustered, and annoyed about being flustered, until a win had settled his nerves and Sebastien had annoyed enough of the other contestants to make David feel he had allies in the Werk Room. He’d exorcised his demons about Sebastien in the Confessionals, and now he felt nothing but contempt for the man.
Well, maybe he was still a little bit annoyed. It was just something about his face.
David had perfected the art of turning sharply and heading down the hallway as quickly as possible without a glance at Sebastien, leaving him to trail in his wake, which was fine. Well, not fine - sometimes he would catch up and stride alongside him, sometimes he would walk just one step behind, so close David could practically feel his breath on his neck.
Whatever. It was a new day, a new challenge, and David had made it to the top six of RuPaul’s Drag Race.
He was riding high.
They put on their blindfolds by the elevators and were led to the underground carpark to board the minibus. What had been completely unnatural at first seemed completely normal now, and they were on board within minutes.
The coffee worked its magic as the minibus shuttled them from the hotel to the studio. The windows were blacked out, but even so the bright LA sun was doing its best to get into the van. Now that there were only six of them left they had more space to spread out, which David infinitely preferred. Not that he didn’t like his fellow queens - actually, with the exception of Sebastien, they were perfectly acceptable and in some cases worthy competitors - but he liked to use the short bus ride to centre himself, and that was easier to do when they had space.
It helped that they weren’t allowed to talk to each other on the bus, and David gratefully soaked up the silence.
This being the tenth episode, they all knew the deal when they arrived at the studio, and the six of them were prepped, miced and ready to enter the Werk Room within fifteen minutes. They filmed the entrance twice - David entering arm-in-arm with Gigi - and then gathered around a table as always. They chatted a little about the elimination last week and what they could expect from this week’s challenge, and David could tell that they were all as impatient as he was to find out what they’d be doing. The producers often made them repeat snippets of this conversation, but today they were soon interrupted by the klaxons announcing Ru’s arrival, and the door at the other end of the room was opening, without even a recorded message first.
“Hello hello hello!”
David and the queens lined up, and it became apparent very quickly that this was indeed going to be the makeover challenge. Ru was giving a speech about the business side of the Drag Race empire and all of the people it took to make that happen, and something about businessmen and fostering an appreciation of the art of drag. David was listening - he was, of course he was - but his mind was also racing ahead, thinking of the outfits he’d brought with him for this challenge, flicking through his mental rolodex of make-up techniques and considering the wigs he had that would help to create a family resemblance. It was a while since he’d properly put a newbie into drag, but he’d practised make-up looks on a reluctant Stevie the week before coming to LA - he knew this would be coming, after all.
The Werk Room doors opened and in trooped six men. As always, there was a mix of body type and race, but they all had the same kind of look to them - with their polos, crisply-laundered shirts, crew neck zip-ups, chinos and mid-range denim they all screamed business major .
Which was the point of the challenge.
They filmed the entrance again - the six men seemed a little confused; they were clearly not prepared for how inorganic reality television actually is - and the queens offered cheery hellos and welcomes several times before the producers were satisfied.
Ru told them to introduce themselves, there was a brief pause while the cameras got into better positions, and the first man in the line spoke up.
“Hi, I’m Patrick Brewer,” he said. David could tell he was Canadian from the very first syllable out of his mouth. “I’m a New Business Consultant with Follet and Walsh in New York, who are the Corporate Accountancy firm for World of Wonder Productions.”
David’s mouth twisted. Oof. A consultant with a corporate accountancy firm. David wondered if all of the men’s jobs were that dense.
The cameras were moving again, and David caught the eye of the first guy - Patrick - and to his surprise the man gave him an amused smile, as if he knew exactly what David was thinking. Given the expression on David’s face, it was probably hard not to tell. David quickly tried to school his expression into something a little more neutral, feeling flustered at being caught out, and gave the man a quick smile in return before turning his attention to the second man introducing himself.
It turned out that their jobs were all as dull as Patrick’s, though David tried his hardest not to let his thoughts show on his face. He glanced back at Patrick, and once again found himself meeting the man’s eye, and once again saw his mouth twitch into what David thought was almost a smirk. So, clearly, he wasn’t being successful.
The introductions took a while - the men weren’t all as smooth as Patrick on their first try - and David found himself unable to stop looking back at Patrick. I mean, they were standing directly opposite each other, so it was kind of hard to not look at him, and every time he saw that amused little grin on his face, David found himself more and more flustered and aware of what his face was doing. He bit the inside of his bottom lip, trying his hardest to keep his eyes trained on the last two men in the line, and managed to wrestle his face into a polite smile as they explained their extremely soul-destroyingly-dull jobs.
Patrick gave him a very slight, but very approving nod when David caught his eye again, and it was all David could do not to huff in annoyance. The cameras were resetting again, and this time David stood his ground, looking over Patrick with a critical eye. He was one of the mid-range denim specimens - straight leg - which a crisp, dark blue button-down shirt tucked in neatly and - dear god - a braided leather belt. Which didn’t even match his shoes. His hair was so short it was barely even a style.
It was a good colour though, a kind of russet brown. And his shirt - which stretched nicely over his wide shoulders - was rolled up to his elbows, revealing toned forearms. His hideous belt at least helped to accentuate his trim hips, and the cut of the denim did cling to his thickly muscled thighs. His eyes, which were still shining with amusement, were a warm brown.
So, okay, it was objectively tragic, but it all kind of worked for him.
God, Bob hadn’t been lying when he’d said that you’d start salivating over every man that walked into the Werk Room by the end…
“Jaida, since you won last week’s maxi challenge, you get to assign our men of business to the queens.”
David dragged his attention away from Patrick and back to Ru, before turning to look down the line at Jaida, who was sizing up the men with a smirk. David had been so caught up in his staring match with Patrick that he’d paid barely any attention to the other men, but he looked them over now. Really, there were only two that David felt he would struggle to work with, purely based on body type and the outfits he’d brought with him for the challenge. There was one man - James? Jamie? - who had beautiful cheekbones and legs up to here, but David knew Jaida would snatch him up for herself.
Which she did. Immediately. (It turns out his name was Ethan. David really hadn’t been paying much attention.)
Jaida then started pairing up the queens with the men - David could see right away that she seemed to be trying to match them based on their looks, rather than be shady about it, but there wasn’t a really obvious way of doing it. She gave the tallest one to Sebastien, but then stalled, staring up and down the line.
(This would get edited out, David knew, as would the reminders of the men’s names so that Jaida sounded like she’d remembered them all on her own.)
David looked back at Patrick, who was watching what was happening down the line with something akin to worry. Or nervousness. Something, anyway, that seemed at odds with the calm, amused exterior he’d exuded at the start of all this. His arms were folded over his chest (he really did have very nice forearms) and his shoulders were a little hunched.
As if sensing that David was watching him, Patrick looked back at him. This time, David found himself giving Patrick an encouraging smile, and he saw the man’s shoulders drop slightly. David didn’t consider himself a generally comforting person, so felt quite gratified that he’d been able to help.
Then Jaida’s voice cut through his thoughts: “Patrick, I’m going to pair you with Cary.”
Oh god.
David wasn’t sure what to feel. On the one hand, he’d be easy enough to drag up - a simple skin tone, minimal facial hair, expressive eyes, wide shoulders like David’s which would help with the outfits he’d brought. On the other - now he was going to have to deal with that knowing, amused smile for two whole days.
Patrick blinked at the sound of his name, looking first at Jaida and then down the line of queens, his eyes coming to rest back on David who smirked at him and beckoned him over with a finger. Patrick let out an amused huff, ducking his head with a smile that David found weirdly endearing, and then walked over to David who, knowing what was expected of him, welcomed him with literally open arms.
Patrick gingerly wrapped his arms around David’s back, and David found that he was the perfect height for him to wrap his arms around his shoulders for a hug, so he reeled him in. They pulled apart and Patrick looked up at David, that amused glint back in his eye.
“Hi,” Patrick said.
David felt a strange desire to grin, and he twisted his lips to tamp down on the urge. “Hi yourself,” he said.
David positioned Patrick next to him and threaded his left arm through Patrick’s right, before putting his right hand on Patrick’s shoulder for good measure. It was a lot closer than David generally liked to get with strangers without a few drinks in him first, but he didn’t want to look aloof for the cameras.
Besides, seriously, his shoulders really were spectacular.
Jaida finished the pairings, the cameras repositioned, and Ru gave them all a big smile. Since he was plastered to Patrick’s side, David could feel that he was starting to tense up again, and he found himself rubbing a soothing circle on his shoulder. Once again, Patrick relaxed slightly, and David squeezed his arm reassuringly.
“Now remember, I’m looking for a strong family resemblance,” Ru said. “So - gentleman, start your engines. And may the best woman win.”