Chapter Text
Act I, Scene I - May The Best Wizard Win
It all started with a bet.
Now, Hermione wasn’t much of a gambler (far from it, in fact) but the offer Ron made her was simply too good to pass up. It was a chilly Monday afternoon when it happened. Professor McGonagall had asked the three of them to stay after their Transfiguration lesson that day.
Hermione began to panic the moment the Professor had told them this, fearing for the worst. Sure enough, as McGonagall approached them at the end of class, she quickly turned to glare at Harry and Ron. “What did you do this time?” She hissed.
“Hey, don’t look at me!” Ron retorted. He turned to Harry, but the other boy only shrugged.
Shooting them both a warning look, Hermione turned back around and straightened up as she came face to face with their Head of House. She smiled tentatively, “You wanted to speak with us, Professor?”
"Actually, just the two of you," she gestured at her and Ron.
"Well, that's a first," Harry mumbled under his breath, to which Ron smirked.
But Hermione furrowed her eyebrows. "Is something the matter?"
"Oh, for you, Ms. Granger, nothing at all. I only wanted to congratulate you on your marks for the exam. Excellent work as always."
To that, the younger girl’s ears turned pink. She beamed at McGonagall, looking just about ready to cry. "Thank you, Professor."
Behind her back, Ron made a gagging noise at Harry.
McGonagall then turned to face the two of them. "As for you, Mr. Weasley," She addressed Ron sternly. "You ought to start taking this class more seriously. You failed the exam, and if you fail any more after that, I'll have to suspend you from the Quidditch Team."
"No!" Ron shouted immediately. "Professor McGonagall, please! I promise I'll do better. Just give me a chance!"
"Mr. Weasley, this is me giving you a chance," she pressed her lips in a thin line. "Fail another test and I'll have you replaced with McLaggen."
"What?!" Harry and Ron both looked at her in horror.
"That will be all," she said. And with a wave of her hand, she ushered the three of them out of the room.
Once they were already safely out of earshot, Ron finally let out a frustrated groan. "Uuuugh! Can you believe her? Threatening to suspend me from the team just for failing a bloody test?"
"A transfiguration test, mind you," Harry said.
"Still! It's just one test!" Ron defended. "I shouldn't be kicked off the team for that ! Especially not when Gryffindor is so close to winning this year's tournament."
"Is that what you're worried about?" Hermione frowned. "Not the fact that Professor McGonagall said you're failing her class?"
"Well, that, too," Ron admitted sheepishly. "But you know how much I love Quidditch and how hard I worked to make it into the team. I'd sooner jump off the astronomy tower than be kicked off of it!"
"Yeah, and when McLaggen takes your spot, then I’ll chuck myself off the tower, too.” Harry added helpfully.
Hermione, on the other hand, paid their conversation no mind. There was a self-satisfied smile on her face and a light skip in her step, to which the two boys no doubt took to mean she was silently patting herself on the back for once again getting the top marks in their class.
"Say, how did you do on that essay for Charms?" She asked them all of a sudden.
"I'm assuming you got an O?" Ron asked her, holding back a sneer.
Hermione smiled bashfully and looked down at her shoes. That would be a yes.
"I did alright," Harry shrugged and held up his paper to her. "I got an E."
"Brilliant," Hermione smiled at him and turned to Ron expectantly.
"Uh, me, too," Ron replied, though considerably less convincing as he kept his paper hidden inside his bag.
"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, Ron," Harry said, trying to open it and grab his paper from him, but Ron wrestled his hand away.
"I know!" He said, "A-and I'm not!"
Hermione wrinkled her nose. "Oh, honestly, Ron, if you'd just listen in class instead of thinking about Quidditch all day, then you wouldn't have such a hard time getting decent marks."
Ron turned scarlet and grumbled, "Sorry we can’t all be geniuses like you, Hermione.”
But Hermione merely rolled her eyes. “It doesn’t take a genius to pass Transfiguration, Ron.”
“Oh really? And what’s that supposed to mean, huh?” He crossed his arms and stopped walking.
Harry quickly grabbed Hermione's wrist and shook his head, silently begging her not to egg Ron on. But the scowl on her face told him she wouldn't back down.
She yanked her hand away and turned to face Ron. "It means maybe you wouldn't be having such a difficult time in class if you actually did your own homework instead of copying off of me all the time! Merlin forbid you actually open your books every once in a while," she added under her breath.
Ron, on the other hand, seemed just about ready to tear his hair out. “Ugh! Enough with all the nagging and gloating already, Hermione! You think you’re such a great wizard because you read all the bloody time? Half the stuff we learn in class isn’t even useful!”
“How is transfiguration not useful?”
“An auror only needs to learn the basics, which I already do. And I’ve consistently gotten an E in DADA, which is damn well good enough for me!”
"Well, you're not an auror yet, are you? And if you fail McGonagall's class, then you never will be!"
"There's more to being a great wizard than cleverness and books and you know it!"
Hermione lifted her head, defiant. "I'll have you know that when it comes to Defence Against the Dark Arts, I'm one of the best in the entire year."
"Correction: you're second best," Ron crossed his arms and grinned triumphantly. "After Harry. Harry ! Who hasn't read a textbook since we were first years!"
"Hey!" Harry piped up.
"Sorry, mate," Ron said apologetically. "But my point still stands! All that reading, and for what? Harry still has you beat!"
"Excuse me? Are you suggesting that I couldn't beat Harry in a duel?"
"Please leave me out of this," Harry mumbled.
"I mean, maybe you'd come close, but come on, Hermione! Don't kid yourself! You couldn't even beat Millicent Bulstrode!"
"That was back when we were still second years! I've gotten much better then."
"Yeah? Well, so has Harry. I wager you still can't beat Harry in a proper spell fight now, one on one."
"Fine." Hermione huffs. "How much, then?"
Ron stops. "What?"
She narrowed her eyes, "How much are you willing to gamble? Since you're so sure I could never beat Harry in a duel."
He thought to himself for a moment. "Ten galleons."
"Just ten galleons?" Hermione snorted. "What, afraid I might actually win?"
Ron smirked at the challenging tone in her voice, "Alright, ten galleons and Harry's firebolt!"
Harry elbowed Ron in the gut.
"Alright, fine, thirty galleons," Ron winced, "Double or nothing! Winner takes all!"
"Thirty galleons it is, then." Hermione reached out her hand and Ron shook it in agreement.
"This time by next week, then," Hermione said. "We'll have our winner."
"May the best wizard win," Ron nodded.
"Or witch," she quipped.
Harry sighed as the three of them began walking again. "Why can't you two ever just leave me out of it?"
Act I, Scene II - This Is The Part Where You Run
"So what'll it be, little lady?" George asked the small Hufflepuff girl standing in front of him.
"I'll have the patented daydream charm, thanks," she replied in a soft voice.
He flashed her a charming smile. "Excellent choice. That'll be five Sickles and ten Knuts, then."
As he took her money and entertained the next customer, the other Weasley twin arrived carrying a box full of fresh supplies. He set the merchandise down on the table and took a seat beside his brother. “So how’s business looking today, Georgie?”
"You tell me, Freddie," George gestured at the long line in front of them. There were dozens of people from different years and houses, all looking to buy their products, and the queue was growing longer and longer by the minute.
Fred rubbed his hands gleefully. But just as he was about to congratulate his brother on their success, however, a stern, all too familiar voice rang through the hallways.
"What is all this? Fred! George! Are you at it again?"
"Oh, bugger," George cursed under his breath. "It's the Prefect."
Sure enough, standing at the very back of the line was a very angry and indignant bushy-haired brunette. She grabbed a flyer from one of their customers and read aloud, " Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes? You know this is against the rules!"
In an instant, Fred got up from his seat and packed everything back into the box with a flourish of his wand.
George turned to the crowd and shouted, "Oi! Everyone scram!"
Everyone in the crowd hurried to leave, and in the middle of it all was Hermione, walking towards the twins with thunderous footsteps. "How many times do I have to tell you to stop doing this? I'll be reporting this to Professor McGonagall!"
"What's there to report?" Fred smiled innocently at her. "I don't see any suspicious activity here."
"Right you are, Freddie," George agreed, quietly kicking the box out of her line of vision. "No trouble at all, just two upstanding students on their best behavior."
Hermione folded her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at them, "Is that so? Then I suppose you won't mind if I take a look at whatever it is you're hiding behind you?"
"Oh, no, no, not in the slightest. In fact, we'd be delighted," George said obligingly, though Fred noticed his brother's smile was straining.
As George slowly picked up the box, there was a moment of tension. Then, suddenly, Fred flipped the table over and Hermione shrieked.
The two quickly made a run for it, George carrying the box in his arms. They sprinted as fast as they could to get as far away from her as possible, but Fred glanced over his shoulder and saw that Hermione had followed them.
He groaned, "Why can't she just let this go?"
"Expelliarmus!" Hermione said, and George's wand went flying out of his hand.
He made a noise of disbelief. "The nerve of this witch!"
"Impedimenta!" Fred shot back at Hermione, who came crashing down to the ground at his spell.
She let out a growl of frustration and spelt a puddle of water at the twins' feet, casting, "Aguamenti!"
Fred slipped on the water and fell, but George managed to narrowly avoid it. Still, he started to run back to help his brother up and Fred had to swat him away. "What are you doing? This is the part where you run !"
George hesitated, clearly torn about what to do.
"Just go, George!" Fred commanded. "I'll catch up with you later!"
"Oh no, you won't," Hermione snapped. "Petrificus To-"
"Expelliarmus!" Fred sent Hermione's wand flying all the way to the back of the hallway. He shouted at his brother, "Go! Now! I can handle her!"
With a reluctant nod, George sprinted away, hollering, "I won't forget you, Freddie!"
"Bastard," Fred muttered, laughing quietly as he picked himself up. This was all getting ridiculously out of hand.
"Frederick Fabian Weasley," Hermione said menacingly as she approached him.
The Weasley in question turned to glare at his assailant. "Oh for Merlin's sake, Hermione, I'm really not in the mood for one of your sermons, so spare me."
At that, Hermione blushed. "Actually, what I was going to say was…that was some impressive spellcasting."
He blinked up at her. He wasn't concussed, was he? "What did you just say?"
"I...I have a proposal to make," she said shyly. Which was ridiculous, Fred thought, as she had just been attacking him moments ago.
"Well, you've certainly got my attention."
"I won't tell McGonagall what you did if...you help me win a bet."
"Oh? What kind of bet?" He asked her with a mischievous glimmer in his eyes.
"Ron said I couldn't beat Harry in a wizarding duel, but if I do, he'll give me thirty galleons."
"Thirty galleons?" Fred whistled. "Where's he going to get that?"
"I doubt he's worried. He's so sure he's going to win," she grumbled.
"Well, I'd love to prove him wrong." Fred grinned.
"So you'll help me, then?" she looked at him hopefully.
Fred thought to himself for a moment.
"Alright, I'll do it," he agreed. But as Hermione stretched out her hand to shake on it, Fred pulled back his. "But only if you give me half of your winning share."
"Oh, rubbish!" Hermione scoffed. "What do you even need fifteen galleons for? You make more than that in a week with your business."
"That's true," Fred said, looking awfully proud of himself. "But it's always fun to swipe some money away from my favourite little brother. Plus, having a few spare galleons lying around couldn't hurt."
Hermione shook her head. "You help me and you'll be walking away from a week's worth of detention. I'd say that's more than enough of a reward."
At that, Fred's eyes lit up and an idea came to his mind. "No detention and you let George and I continue Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes."
"Absolutely not!"
"Just for a few months then?"
Hermione crossed her arms, "For the last time, Fred, no ."
"Then I guess we don't have a deal."
"Fine, then! Have fun clearing up your schedule to scrub the armoury all week."
"I will! Have fun having Ron gloat his victory over your head for the rest of the year!"
For a moment, it was silent. They both glared daggers at each other for what felt like forever, until —
Fred sighed. "No detention and we sell Wizarding Wheezes for a week ."
Hermione frowned. "Provided that they're all well tested and safe to use?"
"Promise," He said as he made a little cross over his chest and smiled. "You can even oversee it yourself if you'd like. With George and I as the only test subjects."
At that, Hermione shook his hand eagerly, "Deal."
"Well, then Granger, guess I'll be seeing you soon. Say, same time tomorrow?"
"Just as long as you're not going to be causing any more trouble," she warned him.
"We'll see about that." He winked.
Whatever Fred had gotten herself into, he certainly had an interesting week ahead of him.
Act I, Scene III - Can I Tell You A Secret?
"You tired yet, Granger?" Fred asked her with a cocky grin.
She glared at him from where she had fallen onto the grass after he hit her with a Jelly-Legs Jinx she failed to shield herself from.
They were out sparring in the courtyard under the afternoon sun. Hermione had a free period today, before Ancient Runes and after Herbology, and she planned to spend it practicing as many defensive spells as she could.
He held out his hand to her, but she simply stood up and dusted the grass off her skirt. "Again," she ordered.
"Are you sure? That'll be the fourth time I've jinxed you. I think you could use a break."
"You're right," She sighed. "We've been at this for an hour."
He sat down on the grass, cross-legged, and patted the spot beside him. "Come on, then, Granger. Have a seat."
She obliges and riffles through her bag. From it, she takes out a bottle of water and some juice. She offers the latter to him, and for a while, they just sit there and sip their drinks quietly.
"I never knew you were so talented at combat magic," she remarked.
"Well, try not to sound too surprised," Fred smiled. "Otherwise, it'd hurt my feelings."
"Sorry, I –" A nervous chuckle bubbled up inside her, and she pressed on. "I didn't mean it like that."
"I know. I was just teasing," he shrugged. "Nothing hurts my feelings."
Hermione looks down at the bottle of water in her hands. "How is it that in the five years that we've known each other, this is the first time we've ever spent any time alone together?"
Fred smirked. "And why, pray tell, would you want to be alone with me?"
"Oh, don't flatter yourself, Fred," Hermione rolled her eyes, but Fred could see a bit of color rising in her cheeks. Or maybe it was just from the heat, he wondered.
Either way, he chuckled. "You tell me, Hermione. You're supposed to be the genius."
"Well, maybe because we've never really had the chance, what with you running off with George all the time doing Merlin knows what."
"While you spend all your time with Ron and Ginny whenever you come to visit. And you never want to play Quidditch with us."
She shook her head, "I hate flying. And you wouldn't want me on your team, either. I'm a rubbish player."
"I don't know about that," he said. "You might still be better than Ron."
"Fred, that's not funny," she scolded, but her lips quirked up in a small smile anyway.
He chuckled. "Can I tell you a secret?"
She took a gulp of her water before answering, "Only if it's the good kind."
For dramatic effect, Fred looked around before he leaned in to whisper, "I always thought you didn't like me."
"What?" Hermione frowned. "That's ridiculous! Why would you ever think that?"
"Oh, did I misread all those times you've told George and I off and landed us in trouble? My bad," he deadpanned.
"I have a duty to uphold as a prefect. It's nothing personal."
"Well, it certainly felt personal."
"Shenanigans aside, however, I do like you, Fred." And she bumped her shoulder with his as if to emphasize this. "Everyone likes you."
With that, he smiled. "This is one of those rare times when it actually feels good to be proven wrong by you."
She returned the smile but cast her eyes down on her lap. "I hope I'm not taking up too much of your time."
"Not at all. You've just given me a great excuse not to do my homework today."
"Fred!" She swatted his arm.
"I'm joking, I'm joking!" Fred chuckled, but Hermione was almost certain he wasn't.
"What I meant was, don't you have somewhere more important to be? Or someone more important to be with ?"
But he only shrugged.
Hermione bit her lip. "What's Angelina going to think about you spending all your free time with me?"
"I don't know. I don't think she cares much, now that we've broken up," Fred answered casually.
"Oh," was all she replied. She hadn't known that.
"What about you? How's little Ronniekins going to feel about you running off to ditch him for me all the time?"
"I honestly couldn't care less," Hermione huffed.
"Well then," Fred got up and held out his hand to her. "We better get back to work on taking all his money, then."
She took his hand and gave him a small smile. "I think Ron might have less than thirty galleons on him."
"Even better. We'll put him into debt."
Act I, Scene IV - I Wanted To Surprise You
Over the next few days, Fred and Hermione spent most afternoons in the courtyard, sparring and reading books under the shade. When people started to notice, however, they decided it was best to do it somewhere more private. All the staring was starting to make Hermione uncomfortable.
Luckily, they found a classroom they could sneak into that was empty on Monday and Friday afternoons. And for the days when it wasn't, they simply waited until lights out and rendezvoused to the courtyard.
Tonight was one of those nights. As soon as he was sure George and Lee had fallen soundly asleep, Fred had quietly changed into his robes and grabbed his wand from the nightstand.
Just as he was about to tiptoe outside the door, however, he heard someone turning in their bed. A second later, the lights flickered on.
"Fred?" His twin asked sleepily. "Why are you awake? And where are you off to so late?"
"Er, my stomach woke me up. Just sneaking out to grab a bite from the kitchen," he replied in what he hoped was a cool, off-handed manner.
"Well, how come you didn't invite me?" George sounded hurt.
"I wanted to surprise you," Fred amended.
"So much for that then." His brother promptly got up and rolled out of bed. "Just give me a moment to get dressed."
Fred winced, "Oh, you don't have to do that, Georgie. Don't even trouble yourself."
"What, And let you get all the good stuff from the kitchen? Don't be ridiculous. Of course I'm coming along." George was kneeling down and rummaging through his suitcase. "Just as soon as I find my trousers."
"I just think that–"
"Oh, get off your rocker, George!" Lee laughed, sitting up from his bed and turning on his light, too. "Can't you see? Fred's obviously sneaking off to go meet with some girl."
"What?" George stopped abruptly and turned to face his brother. "Is that true?"
"I–" Fred stammered. "Well, I —"
"Oh, Freddie, you sly dog!" George guffawed and looped his arm around Fred's neck, "You been keeping things from me?"
"George, I'm not–"
"Boy, you move on fast," Lee chimed in and patted Fred on the back. "I mean, you and Angelina broke up just a couple of months ago and now you're already seeing someone new?"
"Well, go on, then, tell us all about her," George said expectantly.
Fred ducked and freed himself from both of their grips. "Ah, listen, I'd rather not–"
"Oh, look at that, Georgie, he's shy! How adorable!" Lee teased and pinched his cheek, much to Fred's chagrin.
He slapped their hands away. "For Merlin's sake, aren't you two ever going to let me finish my sentences?" Fred grumbled under his breath, but his two friends were still laughing too hard to hear him.
"My, my, Freddie, never seen you at a loss for words before. You must really fancy this girl, don't you?"
"Or he's too embarrassed to admit who it is," Lee said. "What, is it McGonagall or something?"
"Nah, that's Ron's girl. I bet its Trelawney."
"What, over Madam Pomfrey? I mean, have you seen the way Fred's been making eyes at her. He's got it bad!"
"No, no, no, I've figured it out! It's Professor Sprout!"
"Ha, ha, you're hilarious. Well, at least you make each other laugh," Fred smacked them both on the head. "I'm leaving. Don't wait up."
"Yeah, sure, don't wanna be late for your hot date tonight with Pompom," George teased and Lee howled with laughter.
Blood rushing to his cheeks, Fred walked a little more hurriedly than usual to get away from the pair and out of his dorm room.
When he finally met with Hermione, all she said in greeting was, "You're late."
She was sitting by the benches with her wand lit up and a book in her hand, the invisibility cloak dangling over her shoulders.
"George caught me sneaking out," Fred answered.
"Oh, where is he then?" She looked around.
"I asked him not to come along."
"Why?" She asked, and Fred wondered that himself.
"I don't know," he said, but he did know. "Let's just start, shall we?
Act I, Scene V - It Doesn't Mean I'm Blind
"Hermione!" Luna came up to her in the hallway one afternoon as she was getting out of Ancient Runes, Ginny trailing behind her.
"Hello, Luna," she smiled politely at the Ravenclaw girl.
"Hey! Which of my brothers do you think is the best looking?" The redheaded girl asked out of the blue.
"Er, what?" Hermione gave her a quizzical look.
"See, the girls at the Gryffindor table were debating it over breakfast today," Luna explained.
"And it seems that no one can agree on anything. So what about you?" Ginny asked.
"Oh, um...I suppose I never really thought about it." Hermione shuffled her feet.
"Well, what do you think of Charlie? Personally, he's my favorite," Luna said.
"And I picked Bill," Ginny added. "And Parvati agreed."
"Bill's cute," Hermione conceded. "He's a seven, but Charlie's an eight."
"What about Ron? That's Lavender's favorite, of course," Luna chimed in.
Ginny laughed. "Ron's a six. At most."
"Well, what about Fred?" Hermione said without meaning to.
Luna smiled at her dreamily. "What about him?"
"He's an eight, too, I guess," she answered, a little too quickly to seem casual.
"I thought you two didn't get along?" Ginny raised an eyebrow at her.
Hermione shrugged. "I don't see how that matters. It doesn't mean I'm blind."
When Fred got out of his Potions class that Friday afternoon, he spotted a mane of frizzy dark brown hair in the hallway and hollered, "Oi, Granger!"
Hermione turned around, and when she saw him, said something to Harry and Ron. The two nodded and continued to walk, while Hermione made her way over to him.
"We still up for later?" Fred asked her as quietly as he could. He put his hand on her arm gently, to keep her from bumping into people.
"I can't," she said, looking miserable. "I have Prefect duties to attend to after class."
"Shame. If only you were academically mediocre like me, then you'd be able to enjoy your life more," he grinned.
She knit her eyebrows together, "Don't you have Quidditch practice later?"
"Oh, right," Fred slapped his forehead. "I forgot. Well, you could come with if you'd like. I think you might enjoy watching me and George goof off to distract ourselves from the fact that Harry wants to snog my sister."
Hermione laughed at that, and Fred felt his face warming up. "I wish I could, but I can't just ditch Prefect duties. Ron would be lost without me."
He tried not to let her see his expression fall. "Right. Well, tomorrow it is then. Be seeing you, Granger."
"Bye, Fred." She cracked a small smile before leaving to catch up to her friends.
Fred watched her disappear into the crowd for a bit before rejoining his brother. When he finally found George, his twin had a disbelieving smile on his face. "Flirting with the Prefect now, are we? That's a dangerous game you're playing there, Freddie."
"What, me and Granger?" Fred pretended to sound incredulous. "Not bloody likely, George."
"Are you trying to annoy Ron or just get out of detention?" His brother asked.
"Both," he shrugged. "But for the record, I wasn't flirting."
George looked unconvinced but said nothing.
Oh, silly, silly Fred. You just had to like the Prefect, didn't you?