Archive of Our Own

Skin still pink from his shower, Tenya meets his own gaze in the mirror, fingers held under the tap to gauge the temperature.  Deep breath in through the nose, hold for four seconds, out through the mouth.   His eyes blink slowly, attention drawn to the crease between his brows.  A soft laugh huffs from his throat.

Enough, Tenya.  This is a joyous occasion.   Continuing his slow, regular breathing, he decides the water is well warm enough and lifts his shaving brush from its stand, wetting the bristles.  A quick swipe through the tin, then he begins to lather his face and neck, letting the scent and repetitive motion relax him.

Warm sandalwood…  A hint of citrus…  The smell is good, grounding.  Catching another glimpse of himself in the mirror, his eyes soften.  His lover liked to watch him shave, would tease him about the face he made.  'Like someone told a shitty joke and you are forcing yourself to smile'.   Tenya can certainly see what he meant, today.

But the water is warm, the routine soothing, and before long, that crease in his brow is gone.  He is cautious, meticulous with the razor, edging his sideburns just so, making sure there are no spots missed, smoothing carefully over his lip…  Once everything is rinsed and returned to its proper place, he makes his way to the bedroom.

He had steamed his suit prior to his shower, and it hangs neatly from the hook on the closet door.  His shirt is spread over the ironing board, ready for pressing.  Clicking the iron on, Tenya steps to his dresser, quickly donning his boxer briefs and an undershirt.  Couple swipes of antiperspirant.  Socks.  After a moment of consideration, he rubs some moisturizer into his hands.

It doesn't take him long with the buttondown; the ritual is second nature, the starch and iron comfortable in his grip.  He reviews the route to the venue in his head while he works, occasionally checking the time, and soon he's tucking shirt tails into trousers, buttoning his vest, shrugging on his suit coat…

Light grey, because he'd tried on the navy and black, and decided they looked like mourning garments.  Deep red tie, because a bit of color never hurts.

His hands hesitate for the slightest moment over the cufflinks.  A gift from his lover, and while it admittedly feels a bit strange to wear them, they are Tenya's favorites.  "Tenya," he murmurs, shaking his head, and snags them from his dresser.

Standing at his full-length mirror, Tenya slides the cufflinks in, giving himself a final once-over.  'Always so damned worried about appearances', his lover often pointed out, and Tenya wouldn't argue.  Can't argue, really.  

If not for his obsessive attention to appearances, he would not be where he is, now.

His fingers smooth over his lapels, chin lifting.  Okay, let's do this.   Eyes landing on his pocket square- black, and his only concession to his mood- Tenya offers his reflection a smile before turning from the mirror, lifting his glasses from the nightstand and heading out.  A part of him hates how convincing the expression looked.

The drive back to Musutafu is a bit longer than Tenya really prefers to do in one day, considering the round-trip, but he hadn't wanted to give himself any excuse to be in town overnight, either.  It had been a year or so since his lover moved from their cozy house in Nagano back to their hometown, a year since they'd seen each other.  A year since they'd split up.

Their relationship had always been a bit volatile, break-ups and make-ups and arguments scattered generously amongst the happier memories of their nearly nine years together.  Passionate, for better or worse.  And if Tenya is completely honest, he doesn't know if he can trust himself to do the right thing in the face of temptation, should it arise.

So instead, he drives.  And he remembers.

"If I didn't know better," Tenya laughs, smile sloppy from one too many beers, "I'd think you were flirting with me."

"I literally had to compliment your ass before you noticed?" Bakugou snorts, grabbing Tenya's hand when it reaches for the pitcher.  Tenya's eyes jerk to his, startled, and a teasing smile stretches his lips.  "You could have another beer, or you could take me home."

Eyes narrowing, Tenya studies him, gears obviously turning.  "You are propositioning me."

"Yep."

"I see."  Tenya leans back in his chair, breath puffing his cheeks.  "I… have never been with a man, in that way."

Bakugou shrugs.  "Do you want to?"

"Yes," Tenya immediately answers, surprising himself.  "I just…  I'm not certain what to do."

Tenya has always been a quick study, though, and Bakugou is a surprisingly apt teacher.  When the rising sun stirs them- neither being the sort to sleep in- they peel themselves from each other, wordlessly making their way to the shower.

They wake one another with lazy hands, with languid kisses, soap and suds pressed between them where their bodies meet.  Silky.  Warm.  With soft smiles and yawns, an accidental elbow to the ribs, a stumble against the shower wall, they wipe each other clean of any evidence of the night before.  "No marks," Tenya had insisted, and there are none.

Over mugs of coffee- standing in the kitchen, minds finally fully alert- the silence takes on a life of its own.  It feels perilous to speak.  They avert their eyes- because gazes can speak, too- both seeming frightened of what might be said.  

Tenya eventually summons his courage.  He offers to make breakfast, and it is a genuine suggestion, but he finds himself relieved nonetheless when Bakugou declines.

As if to soften the perceived blow, Bakugou carefully settles his mug to the counter and crosses the small space, pressing himself to Tenya.  "You'd better call me, Four-eyes," he murmurs, capturing Tenya's lips.  It's quick, aggressive, but they are both smiling when he pulls away.

"I will."

Tenya watches Bakugou leave, contemplative.

He's looking forward to seeing his former classmates and friends.  When had he last returned home?  He isn't sure, but he knows it was when he and Bakugou were still together, because they'd argued.  Par for the course, I suppose.  Sometimes, I think we started arguments with each other just to make up.

Traffic this time of day is heavier than Tenya would like, but he'd accounted for it.  No issues.  Still on track.  Tenya breathes out his frustration; in for five, hold for four, out for five.  When he rolls to a stop, a sea of brake lights as far as he can see, he darts a glance at his suit coat, carefully laid across the back seat.

Should have brought a hanger, he muses, eyes returning to the road.  The music seems overly loud without the sounds of driving, so he turns it down, the car inching its way through rush hour, and he lets his thoughts drift.

"You're so fucking stubborn," Bakugou snaps, and Tenya's eyes lift, their gazes meeting in the mirror.  "I told you I bought you a toothbrush."

Fingers at the zip of his toiletry bag, Tenya blinks, looking down.  "I don't want to impose," he eventually breathes, face calm while his nerves jangle wildly, heart thumping in his chest.  "It's no problem for me to bring my own."

Bakugou stares for a moment more, then a rough laugh grates from his throat.  "Whatever."  He's brushing his teeth before Tenya can respond, and the two stand side by side, eyes carefully elsewhere as they complete their morning rituals.  He's said the wrong thing again, Tenya knows, but what?  He's all too aware of the distance Bakugou maintains between their bodies.

"Wanna wander around that park by the lake for a while?" Bakugou suggests later, legs tucked crosswise as he sits on the bed, watching Tenya repack his clothing into his bag.

"The park?"  Tenya's confusion shows in his tone, and Bakugou rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, just get out of the apartment for a while."

"It would be a media circus if we are seen together."

"Oh my GOD," Bakugou groans, flopping back to the comforter.  "It's just a walk.  It's not like we're gonna be sucking face or something, dumbass."

Straightening from his duffel, Tenya stands silently for a moment, brows furrowed.  "It hardly matters," he eventually murmurs.  "It takes nothing but the seed of an idea for rumors to begin."

Bakugou says nothing, his face turned to the wall, and Tenya takes a step closer before stopping.  "Perhaps a jog."

"What?"

"It wouldn't be unusual to see two pro heroes exercising together," Tenya explains, drifting to the bed.  When he sits, his hand landing on Bakugou's thigh, a soft sigh eases from Bakugou's lips.

"Of course you wanna run."

"It was simply an idea," Tenya clips out, a flicker of frustration lighting in his gut.  Quickly smothering it, Tenya leans closer, hand smoothing over Bakugou's stomach.  "It would be nice to spend the time together."

They're part-way through their second lap around the lake when Tenya teases him about his form and finally gets Bakugou to smile.  "Ah," Tenya laughs, bumping their shoulders together.  "Your smile is quite fetching, Bakugou."

"You're such a dork," Bakugou huffs, but shoots Tenya a grin.  "Last one to that tree has to buy lunch."

"You brought your wallet, then," Tenya chuckles, eyebrow raised.

"No quirks, and I get a thirty-second head start."

Squinting, Tenya considers.  "Forty-five seconds, and you just might have yourself a race."

"You're such an asshole!" Bakugou hollers over his shoulder, speeding off, and Tenya comes to a stop, laughing and happy, his eyes on his watch.

With the city skyline in his rearview mirror, Tenya's gaze flicks to the clock.  Still making good time, and as the road opens before him, his mood lightens a bit.

While he'd always considered himself an extravert, his move to Nagano after high school graduation had- whether he had wanted it or not- taught him the value of alone time.  He'd never had difficulty making friends, of course.  His new situation had proved no exception to this.  But he'd surprised himself with the pleasure he took in his evenings home, nestled into the sofa with a cup of tea and book, free of distractions.

Driving makes Tenya feel much the same.  He's thought about it before, in a 'skimming the surface' sort of way…  It is nice to have an excuse to do nothing, he supposes.  No need to stay busy, no need to be helpful or productive.  No need to put on an act.

A humorless laugh pushes from his throat.  Perhaps that is normally the case, but not today.   Face serene, shoulders relaxed, Tenya maintains unyielding control over his demeanor.  Slow, even breaths.  Hands stretching regularly on the wheel, never clenching into fists.  God knows what he might do or say with even the tiniest lapse.

His lips curve into a smile he doesn't feel, but- he notes with resignation- it reaches his eyes, all the same.

"You want me to… go with you?" Tenya asks, passing Bakugou the skillet and plunging his hands back into the soapy water.  "Why?"

Bakugou has been quiet all night, and it occurs to Tenya as Bakugou holds his silence, hands mechanically moving in the dish towel, that perhaps Bakugou has been wanting to bring this up for a while.  "Bakugou?"

"I told you to call me Katsuki," Bakugou mutters, Tenya's eyes flying wide when the skillet is tossed into the cabinet, door slamming so hard behind it that it pops back open.

"I haven't…  I'm still unused to-"

"Don't seem to have any trouble remembering when your dick's wet."

"BAKUGOU."  Sucking in a breath, Tenya lifts his hands, carefully drying them before settling them to the counter.  "Katsuki.  I apologize.  I didn't realize it was so important to you, and I promise to do better in the future."

"I want you to meet my parents," Bakugou sighs, turning to fully face Tenya at the sink, arms falling to his sides.  "I want to be able to talk to them about you."

Tenya's chin lowers to his chest.  "Isn't it… a bit soon, for all of that?"

"Look at me."

Swiveling his head over his shoulder, Tenya meets his gaze.  "What is-"

Pupils blowing with fury, Bakugou's hand shoots out, yanking Tenya's arm and spinning him around.  "Fucking LOOK at me when I'm talking to you, FUCK."

Tenya's nostrils flare, fingers tightening into fists.  "B- Katsuki.  I thought we had agreed we would no longer touch each other in anger."

"Quit changing the subject.  Why don't you want to meet my parents?"

"I was not the one who 'changed the subject', Katsuki.  If you are angry, keep your hands off me."

"I'M NOT FUCKING TOUCHING YOU!  NOW TALK TO ME, CHRIST!" Bakugou screams, Tenya involuntarily blinking as the sound ricochets around the room.  "The fuck is WRONG with you?  We've been dating for more than a year, but you act like a goddamned ROBOT any time I bring up living together or taking a trip together or FUCKING GOING OUT TO DINNER.  'What if we're seen'.  'What if the media catches wind of it'.  Like someone's gonna fuckin'... I don't even know, see you SMILE at me or something, and instinctively know you're sinking your dick in me whenever you can get me to fucking hold still."

Arms crossing over his chest, Tenya steps back, his hips bumping the counter.  "You are closeted as well, are you not?" he snips out, eyes hard.  "I resent you implying I'm somehow being foolish by exercising caution."

"Caution?!  You won't even-"  Cutting himself off, Bakugou pulls in a shuddered breath.  "What does meeting my parents have to do with 'exercising caution'?  I'm not closeted with my family."

Silence falls, Bakugou waiting with jaw clenched, and Tenya's hands eventually slide to the counter beside him, head falling back.  "If it is important to you, I will go."

"How fucking magnanimous of you," Bakugou sneers, stepping closer.  "Why isn't it important to you, Tenya?"

Tenya's chin snaps down, eyes widening at his given name, a permission he had not yet granted.  "I'm struggling to understand what we're actually discussing, here.  I feel like no matter what I say, it is the wrong thing."

"I love you."  The words exit Bakugou's lips as if they are indescribably heavy, as if words could weigh mountains.  When Tenya stares in shock, lips parting and eyebrows lost in his hairline, Bakugou's eyes close.  "I love you, but you… don't."

"Katsuki, I…  Katsuki."  Reaching out, Tenya's fingers land on Bakugou's wrist, gentle but insistent.  "Hey."  Bakugou finally looks up, and Tenya's breath catches at his expression, all anger gone.  Stripped of pretense.  Eyes resigned, too drawn to be hopeful, but steady on Tenya's own.  

"I… should have asked you to call me Tenya, before now."

Bakugou's head shakes once, a nearly imperceptible back and forth, but he remains silent.

"It isn't that I don't… love you," Tenya tries, floundering.  "I hadn't even considered it, prior to just now."

"That's... pretty fucked up," Bakugou breathes, shaking off Tenya's hand.  "You realize that?  I haven't consciously thought about it once, Tenya.  It's so fucking obvious, I just knew it was true.  Didn't have to write it in a diary or some shit.  It's just... there, anytime I look at you."

"Yes, I…  That's what I mean, that feeling of…  Katsuki."  Bakugou's mouth drops open when Tenya's knees hit the floor.  "Please understand me.  I am saying the deficit is not in my feelings towards you, but in my ability to recognize them.  You are… my first love.  What I felt in my previous relationships pales in comparison.  Forgive me for my naivety, but as utterly foolish as it sounds, I had never connected the word and the emotion."

When Tenya's hands seek his, he allows Tenya to thread their fingers together.  "Get off the floor, dumbass," Bakugou grumbles, cheeks pinking.  "You look ridiculous."

"Not until you forgive me."

"Oh my GOD," Bakugou groans, pulling up on Tenya's arms until he's lifted him from the linoleum.  "It's fine, okay?  Quit acting like you murdered my family or something."

"I don't want you to be upset with me," Tenya rasps, Bakugou's eyes flying to his at the sound.  "Please."

"Holy shit, don't…"  Pushing his arms around Tenya's waist, Bakugou yanks him close, sighing when Tenya tucks his face into Bakugou's neck.  "Don't cry.  I don't know what to do with that shit."

"I'm sorry," Tenya sniffles.  "I'm a bit overwhelmed."

"Stop fuckin'...  Don't apologize.  Just… stop crying."

Tenya's shoulders hitch, fingers squeezing on Bakugou's shoulder blade, trembling in his hair.  "Okay," he chokes out, and the two stand in the middle of Bakugou's kitchen, Bakugou's hand carefully circling on Tenya's back as he laughs and sobs and squeezes Bakugou so tightly it hurts.

A notification from his phone pulls Tenya from his recollections, eyes briefly landing on the screen before returning to the road.  Tapping a button on the steering wheel, Tenya listens as a voice reads the text through his sound system.

Midoriya: When are you getting into town??  WE MISS YOU!!  Chako and I are at Ashido's place for a barbecue; you're missing all the good food!  Want me to save you a plate?

With a sigh, Tenya calls him.  Easier than a text, in the car.  "IIDA!" Midoriya screeches, Tenya flinching and slamming his finger to the volume control.  "Oh my god, where are you?"

Tenya recognizes several of the voices in the background, and his cheeks pull back in his first genuine smile of the day.  "Midoriya, hello," he responds, stretching his neck and shoulders, his body antsy from holding still for too long.  "I'm still on the road.  I will likely not arrive until just before the wedding."

A chorus of screamed 'HI IIDA's erupt over the line, and Tenya chuckles when Midoriya hollers- just as loudly- for them to pipe down.  "Not 'til then, huh," he huffs, Uraraka's voice instructing Midoriya to tell Iida to 'hurry up'.  "That's too bad.  Everyone really wants to see you."

"We'll see each other soon," Tenya chirps, his eyes meeting his own reflection in the rearview, and forces himself to grin.  "I'm really looking forward to it!"

"Us too," Midoriya agrees easily, his voice muffling for a moment as he thanks someone.  "Well, okay then!  We'll all run out for drinks after, or something.  Drive going okay?"

"Traffic in Nagano was unpleasant, but no worse than I was expecting.  It's been smooth sailing since."

"Glad to hear it, glad to hear it.  Oh!  Did you hear Shinsou convinced Aizawa to come?"

"No kidding," Tenya laughs.  "Well, that will be nice.  I don't believe I've seen him since graduation."

"Oh, I guess you wouldn't have," Midoriya breathes, and before he can continue, Tenya jumps in.

"I'm going to let you go…  Distracted driving and all that."

"Oh god!  Of course!  We'll see you at the wedding, then!"  Midoriya's voice is joined by several others, wishing Tenya a safe journey, and Tenya's chest feels tight as he says goodbye.  Shit.  Shit shit shit SHIT.  Why did I not consider this?   

He'd been so wrapped up in his thoughts of Bakugou that garden-variety homesickness had never even occurred to him.  Suddenly grateful for the time left on the road, Tenya does his best to sort through his feelings, swallowing around the lump in his throat.

"You ever miss Tokyo?  Miss your family?" Bakugou floats into the dark of their bedroom, fingers tracing patterns on Tenya's stomach.

Sighing, Tenya's arm tightens around his shoulders.  "Of course.  I miss them constantly."

"And your shitty friends?" Bakugou snickers, pushing his face into Tenya's chest.  "Miss them?"

"I miss them too," Tenya chuckles, lifting his other hand from the bed to grope for Bakugou's ass, pinching when his palm finally lands.  "Let me guess.  You've never missed anyone from Musutafu, not for one moment, because they're all lame and 'extra' and your life is better without them."

"I miss them," Bakugou murmurs, and Tenya is grateful Bakugou isn't looking at his face, shock stiffening his features.  "I even miss the old hag.  Gettin' sentimental in my old age," Bakugou huffs, but the attempt at levity falls flat, and Tenya waits.

"Sometimes I think we should move back," Bakugou whispers a few moments later, and Tenya's eyes fall closed.  "We've had our adventures, or whatever the fuck.  Time to go home, settle down, that kind of thing."

"Why did you move out here?" Tenya feints, knowing his words are a stall for time, but they'd been having such a lovely evening…

Snorting, Bakugou lifts his head, squinting at Tenya in the scant moonlight leaking through the shades.  "Because I was a punk-ass kid, and wanted to be as far away from fucking Deku as I could.  I wanted to make a name for myself, and not constantly have to worry about running into him on patrols and shit."

Tenya listens quietly, nodding when Bakugou pauses, and Bakugou 'tsk's his tongue.  "Because I felt like all those connections to people would only hold me down."  A shoulder lifts in what Tenya surmises is a shrug.  "Fuckin' stupid, but we're all stupid at that age."

"It doesn't sound stupid to me," Tenya murmurs, sliding his fingers into Bakugou's hair.  "My reasons were similar, to be truthful."

"No shit."

Tenya softly chuckles, stretching up to press a kiss to Bakugou's forehead.  "No shit.  I wanted to be somewhere far enough away that people could hear the name 'Ingenium' without thinking of my brother, of Stain…  Somewhere I could be a hero in my own way, earn my reputation the good old-fashioned way, that sort of thing."

"Makes sense.  Tensei's a badass, even still," Bakugou solemnly reports, cackling when Tenya laughs and delivers yet another pinch to his ass.  "But you know," he whispers, climbing onto his elbows, his lips brushing Tenya's.  "You're not so bad yourself."

"High praise," Tenya breathes, eyes closing when Bakugou pushes closer, their lips warm against each other.  Their kiss slowly deepens, Bakugou's hands tangling in Tenya's hair, soft noises of encouragement easing from Tenya's throat.  When Bakugou pulls back, lips wet, Tenya's hand lands on his head, dragging him back down for more.

"Hang on, Four-eyes," Bakugou titters, hands shuffling to the bed so he can lift himself up.

"Round two?" Tenya pleads, fingers gripped tightly into Bakugou's back.

Grumbling good-naturedly, Bakugou climbs over Tenya's waist, settling his weight onto Tenya's thighs.  "You're a machine."

"Quite literally," Tenya giggles, Bakugou rolling his eyes.

"Seriously though.  Lemme just…  Before we get distracted.  Would you ever like… consider moving back?"

Tenya is careful to keep the smile on his face, forcing the sigh in his chest to push silently through his nose.  "It's a big decision.  Perhaps we could do some thinking on it, and discuss it later."

"Come on, nerd.  I'm not asking you to move tomorrow.  I'm just wondering if you'd even consider it.  Yes or no."

Rolling his hips upward, Tenya's fingers slide to Bakugou's waist, digging insistently.  "Didn't I just say I would think about it?"

But Bakugou has gotten very good at reading him, over the years, and something in Tenya's tone has him squinting, has him clambering off of Tenya to sit beside him, hands on his knees.  "You don't want to, do you.  Holy shit, if this is what I think it is…  How much time do you NEED-"

"Katsuki, just…  I promise we'll discuss it further.  It's a topic that deserves our full attention, and right now I'm a bit distracte-"

"You piece of shit," Bakugou hisses, Tenya flinching despite his best efforts, and Bakugou rockets from the bed, stomping to the hallway before whirling around.  

"You're a fucking coward," Bakugou utters, his voice dripping with disgust, and Tenya's jaw clenches, fully in agreement.  "I'm sleeping on the couch, tonight."  Bakugou slams the door behind himself, and Tenya covers his face with his hands, dread settling sick in his gut.

"Ooookay," Tenya whispers, squinting at the signs in the intersection.  Things are just different enough to make navigating trickier than Tenya was expecting.  Pushing everything unnecessary to the back burner until he pulls into the parking lot, Tenya eases the car into a spot at the far end and lets out a deep, rattling sigh.  Get your shit together, Tenya.

He can't rely on his friends as a buffer between himself and Bakugou, because his friends don't know.   Tenya had been with Bakugou for the better part of a decade, and had never once breathed a word of it to anyone outside his family.  Had asked Bakugou to do the same.  

The staggering injustice of his own actions steals Tenya's breath, even now.

That argument about moving home had been the ominous tip of an iceberg, inexorably sinking their relationship no matter how quickly Tenya attempted to bail water.  It had never once been said explicitly, but Bakugou was no fool.  

Tenya had no interest in returning to Musutafu, because if they did, it would become impossible for them to hide.

And despite Tenya's inability to speak his fears aloud, Bakugou had seen right through him.  Shame- familiar and completely unstoppable- washes over him, and he pushes his head back into the seat, spine ramrod straight, doing his damndest to breathe through it.

Inhale, hold, exhale.  You cannot change anything now, Tenya, no matter your regrets.  Move forward, and make better choices.   Darting a quick glance around, ensuring he is not being observed, Tenya closes his eyes, fists tightening around the steering wheel as they'd been wanting to do the entire drive.

"Welcome home!"

"We need to talk," Bakugou mumbles, head down, and kicks off his shoes, bag falling from his shoulder.

"Katsuki?"  When Bakugou doesn't respond, taking far longer than necessary to arrange his shoes by the door, Tenya's brows pull together.  "Did something happen in Musutafu?  Are you all right?"

Tenya's eyes widen as Bakugou slumps against the wall, fists lifting to his eyes.  "No.  Well, yeah," Bakugou puffs out on a sharp breath, and Tenya is embracing him before he can fight it off.

"Are you injured?  What's wrong?"

Stiff in his arms, Bakugou tries to push him away.  "Don't…  Get off me."  Tenya sinks to his knees, confusion turning to panic, eyes and hands running over every bit of Bakugou he can reach.

"Tenya…  No," Bakugou grits, his voice a harsh rasp.  "I'm not…  I'm not hurt."

He sounds… odd, as if he's been shouting or crying, and Tenya's fingers halt on Bakugou's forearm, eyes lifting to Bakugou's face.  "Then what's wrong?  Why are you-"

"I slept with Todoroki Shouto."

Tenya's body stills, even his breath labored as he stares upward, willing Bakugou to clarify, to clear up the unpleasant and unfortunate misconception he surely didn't mean to-

"I'm sorry," Bakugou grunts, sounding anything but.

Tenya's hands slide from Bakugou to land heavy in his lap.  "What do you mean?"

Bakugou's nostrils flare, and Tenya studies him, teetering at a precipice, as Bakugou's expression hardens.  "I mean what I said.  We had sex."

Unable to move, to think, to BREATHE, Tenya gazes up, horror splashed across his features.  Bakugou closes his eyes.

"Why?" Tenya finally squeaks out, frozen on the floor.

"You really wanna-"

"Please don't leave me!"

Bakugou's chin snaps down, brows clenched in frustration.  When Tenya's hands hit the floor, his head lowering, Bakugou's mouth falls open.

"Please.  Katsuki, please, oh my god," Tenya forces out, voice raw.  "I can't be without you…  If…  If I'm not enough for you, we can discuss it.  We can discuss anything you need, we'll find a way to make it work, I swear.  Just don't-"

"STOP!  What are you…  Tenya, get up.  This is bullshit.  Why are you doing this?  Why are you BEGGING?"

"I'll do anything, Katsuki please, just don't go.  I don't care about this.  I don't care about begging, or Todoroki Shouto, or anything else.  I care about you!  Give me a chance to-"

"YOU FUCKING LIAR!" Bakugou screams, wrenching Tenya's shoulders up only to shove him backward, sending him sprawling across the tile.  "You'll do ANYTHING?  F-fuck you…"  His last words leave him in an obvious sob, and Tenya stays where he fell, watching.  "You wanna know why?  Why I fucked him?"

Tenya flinches, the tiny movement dragging a wet roar from Bakugou's chest.  "You wanna know why, TEN-YAH?"  Bakugou is crouched over him before Tenya can respond, shoving his face millimeters from Tenya's own.  "Because he isn't ashamed of me," Bakugou whispers, anguished, lips curled into a snarl.  "I've been sleeping with him for months.  I've been with him openly, in Musutafu, since New Year's.  My parents aren't building a new house; I've been going to see him.  All of his friends know.  All of my friends know.  Hell, I'm surprised you haven't already heard."

Thunderstruck, Tenya says nothing.  Bakugou could have kicked him in the gut- clocked him in the jaw- could have sunk a knife into his chest- and Tenya's shock wouldn't be greater.

A rough laugh, sarcastic and brutal, tears from Bakugou's throat.  "I wasn't even going to tell you.  Figured I'd just move back, and you'd come home from work one day, and I'd be gone."  Bakugou drags a hand across his face, obviously angered by the wet tracks there.  "Just like that.  But he said 'no'.  Said I couldn't move in with him until I was honest with you.  He said I owe you that much.  Clearly, I FUCKING DISAGREE."

"He what?" Tenya blurts, shooting up from the floor.  "He knows about us?!"

"LISTEN TO YOURSELF!  I am LEAVING YOU, you stupid fuck!  And all you can hear is that I told someone your filthy fucking secret!"

"NO!  No, I just-"

"I loved you," Bakugou murmurs, Tenya's mouth slamming closed at the words.  "I thought it was enough.  Kept telling myself that, year after year."  Chin lifting, Bakugou shrugs, heading down the hallway.  Unable to force himself to move, Tenya manages a shaky breath, Bakugou's voice floating to him from the back of the house.  

"Joke's on me, I guess.  It wasn't ever gonna be enough."

Tenya kills the engine, breathing steady and deep.  A glance at his watch has him hustling from the vehicle, snagging his jacket from the back, a wide smile on his face as he carries himself to the building.

He's stalled long enough the greeters have drifted inside to find their seats, and Tenya slips quietly, unobserved, into the event hall.  His gaze skips from place to place, taking in the familiar faces, the laughter and excited voices, smiling as he lowers himself to a chair in the back row.

Ah…  It's quite beautiful.   Painstakingly arranged flowers and tapestries stretch the length of the hall, candles and greenery nestled in every available space.  So much thought and effort expended, not to mention money.   Tenya laughs, softly.   I hope it turns out exactly as they've planned.

He supposes he shouldn't be surprised when he recognizes the majority of the ceremony's participants, all carefully arranged, nervously shuffling feet and sharing excited glances at the front of the hall.  Lips curling fondly, Tenya notes that Kirishima manages to look child-like, somehow, in his tuxedo, like a kid proudly wearing his father's best clothes as dress-up.

Glance shifting, he catches Midoriya's eyes.  Midoriya's smile brightens when their gazes meet, and he tosses Tenya a cheeky wink, pulling a chuckle from Tenya's chest.  Everyone is so happy…  Truly, this is lovely.

Music begins, pulling Tenya from his musings, and his eyes, along with everyone else's, land on the door.  I've always enjoyed this bit…  The anticipation is irresistible.  Every person here, waiting for their first glimpse of the bride or groom, the joy in their expression...  It is impossible to remain unmoved, in the face of such happiness.

The door swings open, and Tenya's first glimpse of Bakugou yanks the air from his lungs.  Broad and strong, white tuxedo contrasting beautifully with his tan skin.  Smile so wide Tenya is certain he's never seen its equal.  Bakugou's parents flank him on either side, and Tenya stands with the rest of the folks assembled as the trio makes its way down the aisle.

It occurs to Tenya, just as Bakugou's gaze lands on his, that he probably should have hidden himself better.  A nice thought, but it's a bit late for all of that, and Tenya flashes his most encouraging smile, suppressing his cringe when Bakugou's grin falters.  No, Katsuki.  Be happy.  You deserve it.

The moment is over in an instant, and Tenya's breath eases quietly from his throat as the procession moves on.  Todoroki follows quickly behind, gaze straight ahead, sparing Tenya from having to know what sort of expression he would receive from the man who had the courage to give Bakugou what Tenya never could.

Pulling in a deep breath, Tenya slides his phone from his pocket, eyes locked on the cardstock in his hand.

Iida: Hello, it's me.  I'm so sorry to bother you, but I received an invitation for your wedding, and wanted to ensure it wasn't a mistake.

Bakugou: If you were on the guest list, you got an invitation.

Iida: Was I supposed to be on the guest list?

Bakugou: It would be pretty hard to explain if you weren't.  Our entire high school class will be there.

Iida: I don't have to attend, if you would rather I not.

Bakugou: I'm not your keeper.  Do whatever the fuck you want.

Iida: I'm asking you what you want.

Bakugou: Little late for that.

Iida: Katsuki, I will attend if you would like me to, or I will stay home if you don't want me there.  I would like you to decide.

Todoroki: Iida.  We invited you, and will treat you no differently than any other guest.  If you are able to come, and want to come, do so.  If not, don't.  Please do not contact Katsuki again.

Iida: I understand.

Phone clattering from his fingers, Tenya slips off his glasses and lowers his face to his hands.  The invitation remains on the table for days, untouched.

Seating himself alongside everyone else, Tenya's smile never wavers.  He hears little of the ceremony, mind swirling with the conviction that he's done the wrong thing, that he shouldn't have come.  That his presence is a stain on Bakugou's otherwise happy day.  He'd fought with himself for so long over the decision, but the tiny, selfish voice inside, the one that just wanted to see him again, even in such circumstances…

Yet another bullet point on the endless list of his own shortcomings, and he carefully sets it aside, knowing he'll have the entire drive back for self-recrimination.  Focuses on the sun streaming through the windows, dappling the attendees' heads, filling the room with warmth.

Would he ever have something like this for himself?  A day where family and friends gathered to celebrate a relationship Tenya needed so desperately, he would lay claim to it in the most unequivocal, public way he could?  If he did… would Bakugou attend?  

What right does Tenya have to be here, after all?  

It could have been worse.  You could have…   Tenya's jaw clenches, Todoroki's voice- solemnly proclaiming his vows- floating through Tenya's mind unheard.

Tenya drags himself from the sofa, reaching to turn out the lights when his phone buzzes on the table.  Darting a glance to the clock, his brows furrow.  Who is contacting him so late?  He snags his phone, breath hitching at the name.

Bakugou: So you're coming, then

Bakugou: We got your RSVP

Iida: Bakugou, I deeply apologize, but Todoroki has asked me not to contact you further.

Bakugou: Since when is what he wants more important to you than what I want?

Iida: You know that isn't the issue.  And to be frank, I assumed you didn't want me to contact you, either.

Bakugou: And since when do you call me Bakugou?

Iida: I just thought it would be for the best.

Bakugou: Does it make it easier for you

Bakugou: To pretend I was never important to you

Bakugou: To pretend you were never important to me

Bakugou: I miss you

Tenya's breath hisses from his teeth.  Feet dragging, he makes his way to the bedroom- their bedroom, not so long ago- tossing his phone to the nightstand and lowering himself to the bed.  His glasses quickly follow, a pained sigh on his lips, and his knuckles dig into his eye sockets.  He's so tired.  And angry, if he's honest with himself.  

What right does Bakugou have to say such things, when he is the one who left?  When he had someone waiting, welcoming him with open arms, leaving Tenya all alone to sort through the rubble of their relationship?  

To have to decide whether it was wrong to throw away the matching aprons Tenya had bought for them on their sixth anniversary?  

To simmer in his anguish when he found a pillow that had fallen between the bed and wall, and upon fishing it out, discovered it still smelled of Bakugou?

His phone continues to buzz with notifications, and he grits a quiet 'fuck' through clenched teeth.

Bakugou: Tenya, don't even think about ignoring me

Bakugou: DON'T FUCKING IGNORE ME

Bakugou: You don't have the right.

Bakugou: You never even apologized

Iida: Apologize for what??  I spent our entire RELATIONSHIP apologizing to you!

Bakugou: For making me feel worthless for 9 years

Iida: I absolutely recognize that you did not deserve to be treated as a secret.  But you know how highly I valued you.  How important you were to me.  If you would like an apology, at least get the facts straight, first.

Iida: And I am sorry.  For ever allowing you to believe you were not adequate.  I was always, and still remain, proud of you.  And proud that I somehow caught your attention, that there was something in me you found worth wanting.

Bakugou: This all feels like bullshit, sometimes

Bakugou: I wonder constantly if I fucked up

Bakugou: I wanted all of this WITH YOU.  To be openly cherished, to build a life together we could be proud of.

Iida: I do not say this to be hurtful, but I think you should stop contacting me.

Bakugou: Do you still love me?

Iida: I'm turning off my phone.  It is late, Bakugou.  Go to sleep.

Bakugou: FUCK YOU.  ANSWER ME.  DO YOU STILL LOVE ME

Iida: It doesn't matter anymore.  This is agonizing, Katsuki.  I beg you to stop this.

Iida: But if it comforts you somehow to hear it…  I will always love you, even if the specifics change with time.  Now go to sleep, before we both say things we will regret.

Bakugou: Tenya

Bakugou: Do you still think about me?

Iida: Please stop this.  This is wildly out of character for you.  I cannot even imagine what Todoroki would think, if he stumbled upon this conversation.

Bakugou: why do you care what he thinks

Bakugou: he stuck his dick in your boyfriend behind your back

Iida: And my boyfriend let it happen.

Iida: None of us are blameless in this situation, but Todoroki's responsibility is negligible in comparison to yours and mine.

Bakugou: Aren't you a fucking saint

Bakugou: If it had been me, I would have killed him

Bakugou: But you didn't even fight for me.

Iida: There was nothing left to fight for.  I knew what you wanted.  What you deserved.  And I knew I couldn't provide it.  Even back then, there was a part of me that was happy you found someone to treat you well.

Bakugou: If you come to Musutafu

Bakugou: Will you meet with me

Iida: I will see you at the wedding, of course.

Bakugou: No.  Alone.

Bakugou: Make love to me

Bakugou: For old time's sake

Bakugou: I need the closure

Bakugou: TENYA DO NOT IGNORE ME

Bakugou: YOU FUCKING OWE ME THIS

Bakugou: I left that day and you never said a word

Bakugou: You never even said goodbye

Bakugou: I could drive up there, if that's easier

Hands trembling, Tenya's eyes smart with moisture.  It's painful, so incredibly painful, but there's a part of himself that welcomes the hurt.  Isn't it what he deserves?  For failing so miserably?  None of this would be happening at all if he were half the man he'd dreamt of becoming in school, wide-eyed and ambitious and so disastrously naive.

With texts rolling in one after the other, Tenya sneaks under the covers, not even bothering to undress, chest tight with unshed tears.  Finger on the power button, Tenya turns the phone off before he caves, before he makes yet another mistake.

Screen dark, Tenya breathes carefully, steadily, and returns the device to his bedside table.  When he finally drifts into an uneasy sleep, he dreams of weaponized hands made gentle on his skin.  Of harsh features melting into reverence, Tenya's name a song offered like worship from soft lips.  

Of happiness swelling so large, so unstoppably within him, it could tear him open from the inside out.

It had been his plan to forgo the reception line, but Tenya is a step and a half from freedom when his arm is grabbed from behind.  "Hey kid, long time no see," he hears muttered, turning to see a small but genuine smile on his old teacher's face.

"Aizawa-sensei!" Tenya bleats before his brain catches up with his mouth, and his cheeks pink when Aizawa laughs.

"I haven't been your Sensei for more than ten years," he chuckles, pulling Tenya to his side as the line slowly filters through the door.  "It's good to see you.  I caught a bit of your crazy-ass freeway rescue the other night on the news."

A low whistle leaves Tenya's lips, his head shaking as they inch forward.  "National news, eh.  That was… a bit of a heart-stopper."

"Always is, with kids involved."

Tenya nods, eyes darting forward before returning to Aizawa.  Smile.   "So true," he pushes out with a soft laugh.  "All's well that ends well, I suppose."  This is bad.  I shouldn't be in this building right now, much less in this line.   "Aizawa-san, I hope you'll forgive me, but I'm afraid-"

"Oh shit, it's the class prez!" bellows from over Aizawa's shoulder, and Tenya only just holds onto his smile.  Tenya is close enough to see the top of Todoroki's head, so there is no way the sound didn't reach.

"Kaminari-kun," Tenya says with all the warmth he can muster, reaching back to squeeze his arm.  "It's wonderful to see you."  You are out of time, Tenya.  GO NOW.   "I apologize for my rudeness, but I will catch up with both of you at the reception; I'm afraid I have some business to attend to."  Tenya is stepping away before he finishes speaking, ignoring the confused looks on their faces as he beelines for the furthest edge of the aisle and slips through the doorway.

Bursting through the main door of the building, Tenya maintains a brisk walk, though he is tempted- inexplicably- to run.  What the hell was I thinking, coming here?  Have I lost my damned mind?  Did I honestly think I could just pretend nothing was the matter?

Tenya allows himself a loud, shuddering breath once safely ensconced in his car.  Fills his lungs with air, lets it go, repeating until the sound is steady.  Eyes on his hands, he waits for them to stop trembling.

Eventually, he feels solid enough to check the mirror.  Things appear fine- outwardly, at least- and Tenya tries on a smile, more or less happy with how it turns out.  But…  What should he do?  He'd fully intended to attend the reception, but he's shaken, afraid it is beyond his current capabilities.  And that's saying nothing of how it would appear, if he suddenly vanished.

"How it would appear," Tenya murmurs grimly, the irony not lost on him.

Well.  He needs to use the restroom, in any case.  Surely he can manage small talk with anyone he happens to run into on the way there and back.

To his relief, he sees no one he knows upon reentering the building, gaze rapidly flicking over signs until he finds what he is looking for.  Strolling casually to the hallway, Tenya exults in his good luck, breath whooshing from his chest when the bathroom door swings open.

He steps to the urinal, mind on the trip home as he takes care of what he came for.  Perhaps he could stop at the store on his way back; spend the evening frying up some chicken, drinking a beer.  Sounds pretty good, actually.

A tiny smile curls his lips, lost in thought.

He does not hear the door open, nor the squeak of shoes abruptly stopping on the tile floor.  He's zipping himself back up when a voice cracks across the room like a whip.  "Tenya."

Oh, no.

Straightening, Tenya relaxes his shoulders and slowly turns, polite smile in place.  "Katsuki."

"Real fuckin' heroic, sneaking off."

Inhale, hold, exhale.   "It seemed inappropriate for me to be there."

Bakugou's eyes are narrowed, lips curved down, and for a moment, Tenya thinks he's going to leave well enough alone.

"If you can't even be happy for us, why the hell did you come?"

Stepping to the sink, Tenya opens the faucet, buying time.  Lathers his hands.  Wishes he would have stopped at a convenience store for his bathroom break.  "I am happy for you," he finally murmurs, and he means it.

"I always hated when you'd do that," Bakugou snaps.

"Mm?"

"Look at me when I'm talking to you."

A slow sigh eases from Tenya's chest, and he shuts off the water, drying his hands before slowly spinning.  "I… am sorry."

Bakugou scoffs, arms crossing.  "For what."

"I shouldn't have come."

"Oh?  And why's that?"  Tenya feels himself grimace when Bakugou steps closer.

"I wanted to wish you well, but I fear my presence is unpleasant, for you."

Bakugou bears down, doesn't stop until he is nearly pressed against Tenya, Tenya slamming back into the sink in an effort to get away.  "I wanted to see you," Bakugou declares, then laughs, loud and humorless.  "I wanted you to see me.  To fucking marinate in what you could have had."

Knowing no other way to respond, Tenya nods, swallowing audibly.

"Does it hurt, Tenya?   I fucking hope so."

"It does," Tenya whispers, chest tightening, and he hopes desperately that Bakugou can't hear how close he is to breaking.

When Bakugou's mouth presses to his, Tenya doesn't respond in kind, but his hands remain at his sides, unable to push him away.  Manages to keep his lips tightly closed against the insistent prodding of Bakugou's tongue.  He shoves down his sigh when Bakugou's fingers slide into his hair.

He doesn't realize he's crying until Bakugou pulls back, eyes blazing.  "You won't even kiss-"

"I want you to be happy," Tenya chokes out, pushing past Bakugou, heading for the door.  "I wish you both well."

"TENYA."  Tenya's hand halts on the doorknob, jaw clenching.  "What are you going to do?"

A wobbly smile stretches Tenya's lips.  Glancing over his shoulder, Tenya shrugs.  

"Be a better man."

Tenya isn't completely certain he breathes again until he's pulling out of the parking lot.  Numb and exhausted, he heads back to the freeway.  Buzzing, ringing, beeping, his phone jangles from the passenger seat, ignored.

He'll deal with it tomorrow.  He'll be a better man, tomorrow.  Rolling down his windows, Tenya laughs, hair whipping in the wind, tears skating down his cheeks.  

He wonders how he appears.