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Years later, he could still name the exact day that his brother had begun to hate him.
Leo was seven years old, in second grade, and Mike had just started sixth. Michael was still living with them in the strictest sense of the word, spending the few times he wasn't at work sitting in the living room or his bedroom staring off into space with a dull look in his eyes and a beer in one hand. Mike had long given up on depending on his dad, taking care of his brother and the house on his own.
Now that they didn't come home at the same time, Leo was forced to walk home after school by himself. Mike had walked the route with him several times before school started, showing him things to avoid and places to hide if he ran into someone bigger than him. He showed him a few cheap tricks for getting out of a tight spot, and Leo listened with wide and attentive eyes.
But there was nothing he could do to help Leo handle Michael, and he knew it.
There was no other explanation for it that he could think of, no matter how many times or how long he thought about it later. No signs of a struggle on the path home - and he checked every day, just in case. No rumors floating around school about 'Those Corbett Kids' again, and none of the teachers had pulled him aside, knowing Leo had always responded more easily to his brother than anyone else.
All he knew was that he came home to find Michael gone and Leo in the kitchen, quietly nursing a bowl of Spaghetti-O's and icing the largest black eye he'd ever seen.
"What happened?" he demanded, rushing over to gently pry away the towel from his brother's face.
To his surprise, Leo tried to swat him away. "It's nothin'." he muttered.
"Leo, I can see that from under the towel. Now lemme see," he demanded, trying to keep his touch light.
Leo flinched anyway, ducking his head to the side. "Don't," he mumbled. "It's fine."
"Come on, Sunshine," he coaxed, knowing the name was the fastest way to calm his little brother and get a smile out of him. "Just let me - "
"Don't call me that!"
Mike stopped, stunned. "You love it when I call you Sunshine," he said slowly, trying not to sound as hurt as he felt. Calling his brother Sunshine was something special, something just between them. And Leo knew why that name was so important. It had been his bedtime story for years; the only one he ever wanted to hear.
"I don't anymore." The words were low and hollow-sounding, muttered more at the floor than at Mike and it was obvious that Leo was lying. "S'a girl's name, anyway."
Mike stared at him, trying to think of something to say. To remind him that it wasn't, that it was so much more than just a name. That it was Mom, and the only piece of her that Mike had left to give.
~Mom, so tiny with such a huge tummy, smiling and humming to herself as she rocked back and forth. Her hands traced careful patterns over around her belly, the smile never leaving her face. She had always been pretty, but now she *glowed*.
"Baby Bird," she called softly as he lurked in the doorway of the baby room. "Come see. Your brothers are trying to say hello."
He approached hesitantly, eyeing the large bulge in front of him. "Say 'lo?" he echoed.
"That's right," she said with that same endless smile. "Put your hands out and feel."
He stuck his hands out in front of him with a puzzled frown, and she caught them in her own, squeezing gently before holding them to her stomach. He waited, looking at her curiously, but all she did was smile.
Something pushed against his hand.
He shrieked in surprise, stumbling away, but she caught him gently, pulling him back and to her side as her hand came up to card through his hair. "It's all right, Baby Bird," she cooed. "That's just Sunshine. He's saying hello."
" ... Sunshine?"
"That's right." She took his hand again, brushing it against her lips before moving it back to her stomach. "This one here is Sunshine," she drew his hand across to the other side, "And that's your other brother, Moonlight."
"Sunshine an' Moonlight?" he repeated, making a face.
"Special names for my special boys," she affirmed, tapping her finger against his nose. "Just like my Baby Bird."~
But his heart was being squeezed, and he couldn't find the words around the lump in his throat.
"Okay, Leo," he said finally, and his voice was painfully quiet. "I won't call you that anymore."
It had never hurt so much to say his brother's name before.
Swallowing hard, he finally forced Leo to surrender the towel and sucked in a sharp breath at the growing bruise. "Who did this?" He shook his head as Leo started to do the same. "*Tell me*, Leo," he pushed. "Who hurt you?"
Leo's chin firmed, his normally soft hazel eyes turning a light green that bordered on blue. They always turned lighter when he was angry, just like Mom's had. He looked so much like her. "Doesn't matter," he insisted.
"It's my job as your big brother to beat up everybody that's been mean to you," Mike reminded him, trying to force lightness into his voice and failing.
Someone had hurt his little brother. Leo had never pulled away from him before, never like this. He was never afraid to come to his brother if something was wrong, and he'd always been highly affectionate. Whatever this was, it was worse than a black eye. Something was bothering Leo that went deeper than that, and for some reason, he wasn't willing to let Mike know what it was.
A dark look crossed Leo's face as he ducked away from Mike's hand again. "I don't need you to!" he snapped. He straightened suddenly, and bright green eyes met Mike's. "I don't need you!"
And Mike remained frozen, staring at his brother's retreating back as the world shattered around him.
****
Leo was crying.
It was soft, barely audible, but the walls were thin. He'd been listening to him for nearly an hour now, sitting in bed and hugging his knees as he stared at the wall separating him from his baby.
His baby.
Michael hadn't cared enough about the world outside his own head since Mom died to even remember he had kids most of the time. Mike had been the one to take care of tiny Leo in the middle of the night, when his brother had woken up crying for food or a new diaper. He was the one who taught him to walk, to talk, reminded him to eat every day and do his homework, to stay out of trouble. Who hugged him when he needed it, who asked him about his day and put his pictures from school up on the fridge and told him stories at night. He was the one who loved him and took care of him and protected him.
"Forget this," he muttered under his breath.
He didn't bother with knocking. Leo wouldn't have answered if he did in the mood he was in. He'd never cared about Mike barging in before today anyway.
He pushed the door open slowly, his eyes immediately finding the bed. A small lump was curled under the covers, breathing soft and even. It didn’t so much as twitch when he opened the door, which was the first thing that gave him away. Leo had never been able to stay in one place while he slept, let alone under the blankets.
He moved slowly, still hesitant. Faking sleep or not, he wasn't sure how to approach him now. Before it wouldn't have been an issue, but ... well, that was before.
Leo had never told him he didn't need him before.
"Leo?" he whispered as he reached the bedside. He hesitated. " ... Sunshine?"
Nothing.
He sighed, reaching up to run a hand over his hair. What do I do, Mom? How do I get him to talk to me? How can I make this right if he won't tell me what's wrong?
Eventually he reached out a hand, nudging the blankets under Leo's chin before he suffocated himself. He rubbed a thumb against the tear tracks on his face, leaning into kiss his cheek. "I love you, Sunshine," he murmured. "And I'll always be here for you, whenever you want me."
He left as quietly as he'd come, shutting the door carefully behind him.
He'd barely made it two steps away when another sob reached his ears.
He almost turned back. Almost.
Instead, he forced himself to make his way to the kitchen. He could use some herbal tea right about now. He still had some stashed in a cupboard somewhere.
Michael was sitting at the counter, head buried in his arms.
"You're finally home?" Mike asked, not bothering to lower his voice.
Michael jumped slightly, turning to look at him with bleary eyes, his face splotched and red. "Mikey ... ?" he murmured, blinking rapidly. "What ... what are you doing up?"
Mike snorted, walking past his father to the refrigerator. "Oh, so you remember I'm alive tonight?"
"Mikey, don't be like that."
Arms came around him suddenly, and Mike stiffened. But a large hand ran over his hair gently, and he was pulled back against his father's chest. "M'sorry, Mikey," Michael murmured. "Don't pay enough attention to you boys anymore, do I?"
"Try never," Mike snapped back, ducking swiftly out of the man's reach. His heart was pounding, and he fought to keep from showing it. For the briefest of moments, his father ... *Michael* ... was almost like ...
But his dad, the man who had smiled and taught him how to throw a ball, who played Helicopter and watched Saturday morning cartoons with him ... That man was long gone. He'd died with Mom and Moonlight. He couldn't afford to let himself forget that Michael wasn't Dad. Not anymore.
"You *never* pay attention to *anything*," he continued, clinging to his fury. He couldn't deal with this tonight; not after his brother's sudden change. Michael wasn't allowed to suddenly seem to care again. Mike could feel himself slipping, and hatred of the man who'd forced him to raise his little brother on his own was all he had left to keep himself from leaning into him, into trusting that maybe ... maybe this time, Michael would be Dad again. That maybe he could have his dad back, instead of the stranger who'd taken his place.
"I'm amazed you still have a job, let alone that we have a *house*," he forced out. Stop looking at me like that stop caring, stop pretending just *stop* - "Why don't you just crawl back into your room and leave us alone?"
"Mikey ... " Michael stared at him, stricken. After a long moment, he bowed his head. "M'sorry, Mikey. I ... " He shook his head, moving toward the door, and paused to rest his hand on the frame. "Tell Leo I'm sorry, too? I didn't mean it. I'd never ... You know that, right? Make sure he knows too? I just - "
He was at Michael's side in a heartbeat, grabbing his arm with a strength he didn't know he had. "What did you do to Leo?" he demanded. "Are you the one who hit him?" Michael's eyes were dimming, growing distant again, and he shook him hard, trying to keep his attention. "What did you do to my baby?!"
But it was too late; Michael had already retreated back into himself again. "M'sorry ... " he mumbled numbly, eyes dull and vacant as he stared at the floor. "M'sorry ... Summer .... "
Mike swore softly, letting go and shoving the man away in disgust.
Frustrated and angry, he abandoned the idea of tea and went out to the porch instead. He jumped the crooked and broken steps, flopping down in the overgrown grass instead. Should probably mow that this weekend.
He sighed, bracing his head against his hands as he laid back to stare up at the stars.
~"You see that one, Baby Bird?"
He squinted, trying to see what she was pointing at. "The three stars together?"
"That's right." Mom's voice was filled with pride as she ruffled his hair affectionately. "That's Orion's Belt. And if you keep looking around those three stars, you can see the rest of him." She sighed dreamily, as she always did, one hand drifting down to rub her stomach. "That's going to be your baby brother's name. Orion Corbett. And your little brother will be Leo the Lion."
He made a face. "Tha's a weird name."
"It's a beautiful name," she corrected. "Orion and Leo, two of the strongest constellations in the sky ... "
He frowned. "Mommy? Wha'd you wanna name me, if I didn' get Daddy's name?"
She smiled, one hand idly drifting across his forehead. "You, Baby Bird, would have been Taurus, after the great bull."
"How can I be Baby Bird *an'* a bull?"
"Because you have the totem of the Eagle, watching over you and driving you to fly high," she explained. "But I also see the Bull behind you, pushing you toward your goals and giving you strength. So, my little stargazer, someday you'll fly high among the stars, with a strength that no one will ever match. A strength in here," she touched his forehead, "Here," a hand on his arm, "And here," and her hand pressed over his heart.
"Really?" he breathed, amazed at the light shining her eyes as she looked at him. "You really think so?"
Another warm, loving smile that lit up her deep green eyes. "Someday Baby Bird, you'll touch the stars, and come back to tell us all how warm they are."~
He reached up, his hand grasping, reaching for the three twinkling stars clustered together.
But his hand came back empty, and he let out a slow, shaky sigh.