Chapter Text
“Hey Betts?” Jughead asks. He wants to make sure they haven't forgotten anything for their last day at school. When she doesn't answer he turns to see her sitting on the bed staring off into space. Ever since he found out about the kiss she has clung to him or she just stares off into space. He hears her crying at night and it breaks his heart. She is worried that he is going to leave her because of everything that has happened. When they had first talked about everything that went down between her and Archie, he was upset and told her he needed space. He didn't let her explain at all but he should have known she wasn't going to back down. Betty being Betty, she gave him his space but explained everything through both text and voicemail. Jughead had gone down to the bunker and had sat for 20 minutes before his phone went off about a million times. First he had many voicemails, then his phone notified him he had many texts too. He thought she was begging for him to come back but instead he found their conversation log filled with monologue after monologue. But it was her first text that got his attention.
My Love: Jughead, I know you need your space to think but we both know you can't do that properly without an explanation. All that's going to happen right now without one is your anger and hurt is going to cause assumptions that will cause more problems. You have every right to be mad and hate me. So I explained in your voicemail. The truth is I know I messed up. There is nothing I can say to change that. If you want you can read after this and see the whole explanation or listen to it but if you decide to talk in person I will explain. Just know that I'm sorry and I will be apologizing for the rest of my life. Stay safe, wherever you are. I know you won't believe me but I do love you.
There were texts after that but he didn't read them. He closed the app and huffed. After another 2 hours he got a call from Alice. Betty hadn't come down for dinner and her door was locked. He knew he had to face her so he went home. On the way back he realized she never tried to downplay it. She never brushed off his feelings or tried to guilt trip him into forgiveness. It both annoys him and gives him a warm feeling in his heart. One of the many reasons he loves her.
When he got home he went straight upstairs to find her curled on the window bench. Her face was covered in tear stains. His eyes immediately went to her hands, and he felt his heart drop when he saw her hands were clenched and blood was seeping through her fingers. He sighs which caught her attention. She snaps her glassy green eyes, she just stares at him waiting for his next move.
"Okay Betty. Explain." He tries to sound calm but by her flinch he isn't sure he did.
"I messed up, I know. I also should have told you sooner but I didn't know how to explain." She starts but Jughead interrupts.
"Why didn't you tell me right away?"
"You would ask questions I didn't have the answers to at the time." She answered. He raised an eyebrow.
"Do you have answers now?" He asks in a snappy tone.
"Yes." Her answer is simple, but it only causes him to have more questions. "I didn't go into rehearsal to cheat. I was upset and wanted to clear my mind. The truth is I have been upset for a while. I just didn't tell anyone and it festered until I short circuited." That confused him. "We all have had a rough year and I just didn't talk. I was angry with my father for everything and then you faked your death-" he cuts her off at that.
"What. So because I was brained you cheated?" He asks angrily. "I'm so sorry I have PTSD and was working through my issues! God could you be more selfish!” He yelled. Her eyes spit green fire when he's done and he isn't quite sure why but he feels guilt settle in his stomach.
"Jughead, when are you going to realize that your life matters? What happens to you matters. That you aren't the only one with PTSD. I had to go months, months Jughead , without you. I had no one to help me deal with it. For 36 hours, I even thought I was responsible. Not knowing if you were going to make it. The worst part, so did our friends. I didn't have my anchor to tell me it wasn't my fault, that my darkness didn’t win. For months, I didn't have Veronica, Kevin, Cheryl, Toni, or anyone because they either thought I betrayed Veronica or I killed you. For god sakes! My own mother thought I did it. She even said she expected it. So, not only was I dealing with all of my normal insecurities, I was dealing with my serial killer of a father's death. Plus, I had to pretend you were dead. It even felt like you were some days.” She takes a deep breath then continues. “When you came back and it was over I thought everything would maybe finally be normal and I would just push my feelings aside. But then, we got into an argument and I got scared. Scared that I would lose you because of something I couldn't control. I didn’t know how to help you, I don’t even know how to help myself. I felt so helpless and it just added to everything else. I went to rehearsal to clear my mind and saw Archie was sad. So I started talking about his dad to cheer him up which led to talking about sophomore year. Reminding me of a time where life wasn't so complicated. Where the worst thing my mother did to me was emotionally abuse me. Where my father was just the man who taught me how to fix cars and couldn't hurt a fly." She closes her eyes as her tears continue to run down her face and takes another deep breath. "I told him since we were there we might as well rehearse. We started singing and all of a sudden I was back in sophomore year, hopelessly pining after the boy I knew wasn't right for me. Back to the girl who strived for perfection. I guess I hit my breaking point and I acted on impulse. My last thought was when we kissed in the car in front of Cheryl’s. We kissed, both of us. As much as I would like to take full responsibility, I can’t. We both are guilty. After it happened I went home and cried. I realized what had happened and I didn't know how to process it. Suddenly, I felt so confused, I couldn’t figure out why it happened and what it meant. Then you came in apologizing and giving me your essay, that worked hard on and I felt even worse. I didn't know what to say to you, I didn’t have any of the answers you would want. I decided that if I was going to lose you I was going to make sure I knew what I wanted and what I was fighting for. To make sure I was worth the fight. I decided to try and figure it out on my own so I started reading my old diaries. A few days later Archie started asking what happens next and wouldn't stop so I agreed to meet him in the bunker to talk. We talked a little with nothing being resolved. The next day I was in the blue and gold sorting through photos for the year book and reading more of my diaries when Cheryl came in. She gave me her photos of her and Jason. She saw what I was doing and took the diary I was reading and we talked. She explained her point of view and how she saw me through the years and it helped.” She pauses again. “From the very beginning one fact never changed. The fact that I love you." At this point Jughead was just sitting listening and watching as her eyes flooded with tears. "Honestly, I don't know what I feel about Archie or what I felt sophomore year. I realized it came down to if I was willing to give you up for a possibility. Was I willing to let you go for someone who never really saw me until recently. Was I willing to give up the man who accepted my darkness and loves me for me. Not the perfect girl next door but the girl who loves cars, books, and writing for the boy who thought I was ‘Perfect.’ The answer is no. Not by a long shot. So yes, Jughead Jones I am going to fight tooth and nail for you. I love you and that is not going to change." She spoke her last sentence with a finalty then no one would want to argue with. Her speech made him realize why he felt guilty. He had no right to assume anything. Yes, he was still upset she kissed someone else but he is willing to fight for them too. He realizes that he has made mistakes too. Suddenly a certain hot tub pops into his memory and his anger dulls a bit. He said okay and they continued to talk all night. She said she was going to watch tv and give him some space. He woke up alone on the bed to find she never came back up. He went downstairs and found her asleep on the couch with tears running down her face. It was then he decided that she was truly sorry and he was already starting to forgive her. They still had a lot to talk about but he still couldn't see a future without her in it.
Now it is a few weeks later. They sleep in the same bed and are still very much a couple but he can tell she still hates herself and hasn't forgiven herself. He walks over to where she is sitting and sits beside her. “Hey you.” He says softly. She turns her green eyes to meet his blue ones and tries to smile but she realizes it is pointless. “You have to forgive yourself.” She nods in understanding. She is quiet for a few moments.
“Jug, what are we going to do?” He tilts his head in confusion. He could swear they had already discussed that he has forgiven her and they will be fine. She catches on to his confusion so she continues. “We are going to different schools in two very different states.” She looks sad and worried. He thinks for a moment and when he decides it is a very good time to have this conversation he begins speaking.
“You know I love you right?” He sees her tense like she is just waiting for him to leave her. It breaks his heart at how scared she is of losing him.
“I love you too.” She whispers. He takes her hand and gives her a reassuring squeeze. She smiles a little and relaxes a bit.
"Okay. So we are going to different schools in different states for at least two years. Right?" Jughead asks. Betty nods. Truthfully he has been thinking about this for a while so he hopes she agrees. "Well, let's make a deal. We will still be together and do all the things we normally did when I was a stonewall. We will call, visit each other, text, and everything else we do. However, if something happens and one of us feels we should part ways, we will. But make no mistake, I will fight for us, Betts. I don't care if someone else catches your attention. I will show you why I'm here to stay. That you are mine." Jughead says. When he talks about her possibly meeting someone new he doesn't look happy, which earns a giggle from Betty then she nods.
"What happens after two years?" Betty asks. The plan sounds interesting. Of course she is worried he will find a pretty Iowa girl and leave her but she told him weeks ago she will fight for him. She isn’t going to lose him without a fight.
"We reevaluate everything. If the distance isn't causing us anything we can't handle we stay unless you know, one of us wants to transfer. But if the distance is causing problems, we will figure it out like we always do. I'll tell you again Elizabeth Cooper, I'm in it for the long haul." Jughead replies.
“So am I. I love you so much Jughead.” She pulls him in for a long kiss before Jellybean calls up telling them to hurry so they aren't late for school.