Work Text:
Stupid. Jerk. Stubborn. Bastard.
Natasha stood, arms crossed on her chest as she looked out the window at her room in the SHIELD headquarters. It was the first place she thought of going to the previous night, after leaving Tony's penthouse. She spent the night in her workspace and opted to be productive instead of moping, until Phil Coulson kicked her out of the office.
She did not keep track of how long she had been reading files and recording the progress of the on-going agent assignments. Apparently, her handler did.
"Go home, Romanoff. Stop doing my job; I am here now," Phil said as he lifted the laptop from her station to keep her from continuous typing.
Sighing heavily, she stood up and walked to her designated quarters instead. She took a hot shower and changed into the only pair of fresh clothes she had in her locker, before diving into the silence which brought back last night's fight with her boyfriend.
Ex-boyfriend, rather.
Sleep was still out of touch despite her pulling an all-nighter.
Knocks on the door disturbed her privacy. Natasha turned and saw Clint entered uninvited then closed the door behind him before leaning on it.
"Hey, why are you camping in here again?"
Obviously, he has spoken with Coulson.
"Work's within reach," she replied and walked to grab her water bottle, avoiding her best friend's knowing gaze.
The archer shook his head. "You don't want to be alone, yeah?"
She gave him a meaningful look. He should have immediately figured out that she did not want to talk about it.
"Stark?"
But of course, he did not let it go that easily.
She rolled her eyes before and turned her back on him to stare out again.
"Oh, don't tell me you really think I wouldn't know."
After her short assignment at Stark Industries, supposedly to just talk with Tony about his work on the arc reactor and him being Iron Man, her engagement with the genius billionnaire extended to something 'more personal'.
It was unusual of her. For one, she never mixed business with pleasure, until this one. Also, it was not an act she was proud of... What, giving into the charms of a known playboy? Though she has learned that Tony was way more than what he and the media projected, from the outside, it would not be taken positively by the people in her circle. So even with Clint, she never mentioned it.
"Shut up, Barton."
"Sure, Romanoff." He grinned, knowing that he has hit the bull's eye - which he always did.
They have known each other long enough and seen each other under various circumstances to read what was going on without much effort. Clint was particularly aware that when she was distressed, all the more she would rather make herself useful - hence, work.
"Well..." her best friend straightened up and prepared to leave her alone when he guessed she did not have any plan to share about what was happening. "You can always drive to the farm. Lila and Cooper miss you."
Natasha nodded but did not look back at him. In her mind, she never considered that. Going to the farm and spending time with Clint's family, which already was like her own family, would be a worst case scenario response.
This isn't that bad. Nothing that a couple of SHIELD assignments and some reports won't fix, she fed her mind.
"And get some sleep, lady," he stressed before he stepped out to start his shift.
*****
Tony got up from the whole night of being half asleep. He just lied there on his bed, stared at the ceiling for a couple of hours then closed his eyes to attempt to get some sleep. But he did not, at all, partly because his mind was running miles a minute as he thought about his last conversation before he retired to his room.
Natasha really walked out on him and left his penthouse in the middle of the night.
Even then, he could not bring himself to do a self-imposed lockdown in his workshop, his natural way of dealing with anxiety and stress. Why, it was the reason they had that argument which escalated so quickly.
Part of him - a very small part at that - told him that this was why he did not do romance. Relationships were messy. How could he deal with another person when he could not even deal with himself half the time? But a bigger part of him admitted that it should not have turned out that way; that it could have been fixed if he did not deflect and explained instead to his girlfriend what he was going through.
Oh. Ex-girlfriend rather.
The woman he gave up his no-strings-attached rule for. That woman he opted to share his second home with (his real home was in Malibu and he could have brought her there, too, but she worked in New York). It happened so fast, and maybe that was why it also crumbled so fast?
Just when he thought that was it, he was taking Yinsen's advice to not waste his life, he let Natasha go... He let his chance to live happier - with the person who has seen past his name and reputation, someone he wanted to navigate and share his new life with - go.
Barely two months together. They were done. Just like that.
"JARVIS, time check," he asked as he walked into the bathroom to shower.
"It is 10:24 AM, Sir."
It was a first time in a while that he was getting up past 9:00 AM. Natasha woke up very early to workout and before she left around 9:30, they at least had coffee together.
Tony went to the pantry and made himself a pot of black coffee. He poured some on his favorite mug, placed beside Natasha's, before he took a seat on the counter instead of the table. He noticed a book lying on the marble top and recognized it as the one she read the day before while she waited for him for breakfast.
Instead of lingering longer, he went to the workshop to try to be productive.
"Rise and shine, everyone," he snapped and pulled up the holograms at his workstation for the on-going development of his suit.
"JARVIS, hit the playlist."
"There are two default playlists, Sir. Should I play Workshop or A Little Less Loud?"
Right. He remembered switching his AC/DC and Metallica-filled playlist to a-little-less-loud sounds for the times when Natasha decided to join him there while he worked.
"Play Workshop," he replied as he needed the focus and to drown his own thoughts.
"Sure, Sir."
A few hours later, JARVIS notified him of the time - part of the protocols tampered by some redhead agent a few weeks ago.
"Sir, time check - it's 1:00 PM and time for lunch break."
He smiled bitterly. "No, thanks. Not having lunch."
"The second drawer to your right has a selection of healthy chocolates and oatmeal bars for snacks," JARVIS added.
He checked the drawer. "Who put these in here?" There was no sense to ask; it was only him and his ex-girlfriend who had access to the area.
"Natasha stocked them 2 days ago."
Yeah... he just wanted to hear that said aloud.
He had a dark chocolate and two oatmeal with berries bars for lunch.
Another notification came in by night time.
"Sir, time check - it's 7:00 PM and time to exit the workshop."
He sighed. "I'm working overtime."
"Do I need to notify Natasha about an extra hour?"
"No..." He shook his head even if the AI could not see it. "No need. I'll be here longer," he said instead of correcting JARVIS and cancelling the protocols altogether.
"This is noted, Sir."
But 30 minutes later, he found himself leaving the workshop and walking to his room.
He passed by the bar and thought about drinking to sleep. It did not sound appealing though. Seeing the bottles of whiskey, vodka and scotch within reach did not give the same urge as before. Since Natasha moved in, he only had drinks when she was hanging around with him, and those never gone beyond two or three glasses (in between making-out).
That was his tipping point. He wanted her around. He needed her to be around him. Life had been so much better when he was with her and he was not moving on soon. He refused to move on at all.
"JARVIS, can you locate Natasha based on her phone's GPS."
"Certainly, Sir."
Tony paced back and forth in the living room while he waited. If he messaged her or called her, he doubted that he would get a response. The best way was to see her and to personally talk to her.
"Based on the tracker, Natasha is driving to her registered apartment address. She left SHIELD headquarters approximately 17 minutes ago."
He wasted no time and went to the elevators that brought him to the basement.
"Thanks. Update me if there's a change in her location."
"Yes, Sir."
*****
Natasha was packing her duffle bag with clothes and essentials so she could stay in the headquarters instead. The almost unfurnished place already felt lonely as it was; she must not stay there anymore.
She freshened up quickly before doing one last check on her items.
The doorbell rang and her heart skipped a beat. There were only four people who knew of this address - Fury and Coulson, whom she left in their office; Clint who has gone back to the farm; and Tony... he had been here a couple of times before he asked her to move in with him.
This shouldn't be Tony, should it?
She padded quietly to the peephole, a beretta in hand.
It was him. She put down the gun on the nearby table.
"Hey," Tony greeted almost inaudibly when she opened the door.
She waited for what else he had to say, her face poker.
He brought out a hand from his pocket and combed his fingers through his already disheveled hair, which made it look messier. "I just want to talk... I know, we broke up like 24 hours ago -"
"I know."
He sighed. "I'm sorry, Tasha. My fault, totally. I'm a jerk, I'm stupid, I'm an asshole -" he pointed to himself, overemphasizing his mistake.
"I know that, too," she cut his rambling and stepped aside, signaling him to come in.
When he was already inside, she faced him again, her back on the door. They had at least a meter between them so she saw that he was in his basic home clothes - gray sweatpants with smidges of grease and an old black band shirt. Seemed like he went straight from his beloved workshop to her place.
"I'm sorry," he looked straight into her eyes. "There's no excuse really. I just fucked up."
His hand gripped his nape and he let out another helpless sigh. "Or maybe I just don't know the best ways to make a relationship work. Haven't figured out the steps yet."
Natasha remained quiet, but her expression was less than stoic. Her eyes never left his, too.
"But I really didn't mean to end us just like that."
That pinched her heart.
And how about her? Was she actually into this relationship for a long haul? Or, at the back of her mind, she has judged that this wasn't going to be a succcess after all, and it surfaced at the first strike of a problem?
She had to be fair to Tony.
"I'm sorry, too," she bit her lip and her gaze softened on him.
His eyes widened a bit in surprise, then he nodded once.
Silence crossed as they waited for the other to say anything again.
"Forgive me?" he asked.
She smiled a little.
How could she not? She also had her share of shortcomings. Sure, this was a matter of Tony locking himself in at times and all of a sudden. They argued because even when he had let her in his house, he never actually let her in what was going on in his head, like he was either hiding or escaping from something. And when she reached out, he pushed her away.
But she had't been transparent, too. She had as much, if not more, secrets and she was also keeping her nightmares from him. Why did she quickly run out of patience when he needed more understanding? Probably, he was still a broken man even when he showed otherwise, after what he had gone through in Afghanistan, with Obadiah Stane and the new hero gig.
"I guess we just need to communicate more. We talked, but we barely let the other in when we didn't feel like it," she answered, also a note-to-self.
"Yes, here, I'm starting now," Tony stepped forward and pulled her closer by the hips. "We'll talk as long and as much as you want. I won't keep stuff from you anymore. I'll be honest. I'm not running away... even if that means you'll see me in my weakest."
Natasha sensed it was the hardest for him to say that last one.
She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I need to do that, too. I'm not as tough as you think I am, and not any better than you in this relationship thing."
He pressed a kiss on her forehead. "Then we gotta try harder. Let's work it out," his eyes pleaded when he looked at her again. "Come home."
She loosened an arm to cup his jaw with a hand and initiated a soft kiss that quickly turned passionate. He tilted his head as their lips molded with each other and one hand found its way under her shirt to grip on her waist, skin to skin. She opened up when he nipped her lower lip and his tongue met hers in an instant. It was a response to his proposition, an apology, and a promise altogether.
"Hey... Let me finish packing," she murmured on his lips after reluctantly stopping them both.
"Yeah... Okay," he replied, catching his breath.
They stayed in her room for a few more minutes as she did, but this time, to go back to the penthouse instead of the headquarters.
Tony picked up her bag after and held her hand as they walked out, fingers intertwined.
"You're a sap," Natasha quipped, hiding a smile.
He snorted. "I've called myself worse earlier. I don't mind being called a sap."