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Gwaine was hungover and for the first time in a long time, he was regretting it. He was wearing sunglasses at an outdoor wedding and his small mercy was that it was really fucking bright outside and he wasn’t alone in donning the accessory. It hid his eyes perfectly, and helped with the headache. He just had to deal with the other hangover symptoms as best as he could. Or else.
Gwaine sat at the back (because he was late, because he didn’t want to sit at the front at all, because he wasn’t important enough to sit closer). He took the anonymity that the back row afforded him with grace.
He looked around the field and found the setting remarkably beautiful. If there were two people in the world who could make dreams into reality, it would be Gwen and Morgana. And they did. They blended Gwen’s rustic charm with Morgana’s glam. Champagne gold and coral floral. At least, that’s what it said on the invitation; they had forbidden the guests to wear them so that they wedding party could stand out. Which didn’t matter much to Gwaine because he’d already had a black suit picked out and then decided against it because his mom commented “You’re going to a funeral?” and Gwaine definitely didn’t want to give out that kind of vibe. He went shopping and got a red wine-colored suit with a matching shirt and tie and secretly hoped Morgana would approve.
The pianist started playing and the guests stood up, looked slightly behind them as the procession started. The minister was first then the rest of the wedding party. Bridesmaids and bridesmen walked in pairs, and it was a procession of incredibly beautiful people. Gwaine, as were the rest of the guests, was mesmerized by them. Gwaine knew the ones on Morgana’s side. He spied Merlin, Morgause, and Mithian. He knew none of the ones from Gwen’s side. The flower boy and the ring bearer came next, throwing petals on the ground and carrying the rings with adorable consternation.
The pianist stopped. The harpist took over and then all eyes were trained again to the back.
Morgana came out first with Arthur accompanying her and they made a handsome pair; they were olympian, like Apollo and Artemis anthropomorphized. Morgana was holding back tears, Gwaine could tell. She was squeezing Arthur’s arm, though that was the only indication of her nervousness. Less familiar eyes would see nothing wrong, but Gwaine was well-accustomed and he knew. But everyone could tell that she was happy, exuberant, and they all mirrored her wonderful smile. Arthur looked proud and he was properly entitled to it.
When Morgana got to the front, they turned again to watch Gwen make her way down. She was being escorted by a man Gwaine had never seen before in his life and felt robbed. Why had the universe concealed this man’s existence from him all this time? Gwaine pulled off his sunglasses just to make sure of what he was seeing. The man had dark hair and neat stubble. His hair was being swept by the wind, but not in an unflattering way. Gwen also, was very beautiful and regal in her dress. Of course, Gwaine wasn’t only paying attention to the man giving her away. Arthur and Gwen’s partner each kissed the brides and then let them take one more step forward by themselves. Arthur and Gwen’s partner stepped back and joined the others in the first row.
Soon, they were asked to sit down. The minister started talking. Gwaine was more or less paying attention. He smiled and laughed and cheered at the right moments but he couldn’t tell you what had been said. Morgana and Gwen exchanged vows and of course, Gwaine paid attention to that. By the end, they were all brought to tears.
The wedding party took off and had their pictures taken with the setting sun as the backdrop. Gwaine, like the other guests, made their way uphill to the banquet area for drinks and snacks. Gwaine smiled and thanked the brides for the open bar. He was still a little bit hung over but he shrugged it away. What was he expected to do? Mingle with people sober? God forbid.
He ordered a drink and tipped the bartender. He perused the appetizers on the side table, picking up cheeses and crackers and meats. He might as well fill his stomach with something other than alcohol if he wanted to really last the night.
A woman came up to talk to him. She commented on the ceremony and immediately he knew she was a distant cousin or some such of the Pendragons, someone who had felt slighted because all she said were veiled insults. Gwaine charmed his way out of that conversation as quickly as he could. He ordered another drink and slipped another bill in the tip jar.
He tried talking to the other guests but when they announced that the newlyweds would be introduced and that dinner would be served soon, Gwaine felt the happiest he had all day.
He found his table and thanked his lucky stars it wasn’t with anyone he thought unbearable. Why did he come to this alone again? Gwaine sighed. Oh yes, Percy was in Asia and...nope, that was it. Percy was in Asia and his other friends were already here and were busy being part of the wedding party. He downed his glass.
A woman came to sit beside him. She was beautiful and Gwaine thought she looked familiar but couldn’t place her as of yet. She was fanning herself and eyeing the bottle of champagne on the table.
“We can open this right now, right? We should.” She didn’t wait for him to reply and grabbed it. She pulled it close and pushed it to him.
“Well,” she said, “Be a gentlemen, please, and help an old lady.” Gwaine took it from her and expertly uncorked it.
“You’re not old,” he said. She was flattered.
“I’m 50.”
“You don’t look a day over 25.” He smiled at her and she nodded approvingly at him.
He pulled her glass close and poured the champagne. He went slowly but she laughed.
“Oh, fill it, would you, dear?”
“You got it.”
After hers, he filled his and she raised her glass and seemed to be in thought. Gwaine raised his too but made no other move. He waited for her.
She said, “What to toast?” Gwaine thought, to the brides, to happily ever afters, to love.
She looked around and they both noticed that the sun had gone down, but the reception was being lit by a thousand string lights and elegant lamps.
“Ah.” Her face lit up, “To the stars.”
And Gwaine could toast to that no problem. Their glasses clinked together and then they drank in merriment.
She held out her hand and introduced herself, “Lucia du Lac.”
Gwaine took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Gwaine Bainsbridge-Waxweiler.”
She stared at him incredulously but she had a cheeky smile on her face. “Your mother’s progressive, is she?”
Gwaine nodded, “Yes, both of them.”
Lucia gasped in surprise. She cracked a proper smile then. Her face lit up. “That’s wonderful. My wife insisted on keeping mine. Mind you, she hated her homophobic father, so I was happy to share.”
Gwaine thought he found a kindred soul. By the end of the night, he must have her number, only to give it to his mothers. They’d been itching for new friends to join their stitch and bitch sessions and he thought Lucia and perhaps her wife would be perfect.
Gwaine reached for the champagne bottle and filled their glasses again. They raised to toast. This time, he said, “To mothers.” And Lucia’s laugh rang sweet and loud. They drank together.
They stopped chatting when the lights turned low and someone started talking into a microphone. The DJ was hyping up everyone, as she announced Merlin and Elena, Morgause and Elyan, Mithian and Leon.
“The best men, Arthur and Lancelot.” The man Gwaine had been eyeing came through with Arthur. Lucia clapped energetically beside him and Gwaine couldn’t help but do the same.
Then.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mrs. And Mrs. Pendragon-Smith.”
They erupted in applause and cheer. Morgana and Gwen entered hand-in-hand with big bright smiles on their faces, waving at everyone. They were helped to their table and everyone took their seats.
Arthur and the others from the wedding party settled at the same table but Gwaine noticed that Lancelot didn’t join them. Instead, he was walking towards Gwaine’s table. Gwaine could feel a stutter in his breathing and hoped he wasn’t obvious about it.
Something clicked as Gwaine kept staring at Lancelot’s face.
He looked familiar. Lucia looked familiar.
“Mama,” Lancelot said and kissed Lucia’s cheek. She grinned at him and told him to sit. She started in on him, saying how proud she was, how dashing he looked. “Oh, you were wonderful, walking her down the aisle. If only your Mom could have been here to see you.”
Lancelot blushed, “It’s not my wedding.” Lucia pinched his arm. “If it was, we wouldn’t miss it for the world. Don’t you dare elope!”
Lancelot kissed her cheek again. “Of course I won’t. I couldn’t do it without you.”
Gwaine felt awkward to say the least. He wanted so bad to be introduced and he would take it upon himself but he was already kind of drunk and definitely uncharacteristically nervous. Lucia probably sensed it, or it was just propriety itself, but she drew Lancelot’s attention to Gwaine and introduced them.
“We’ve been drinking together. This is Gwaine Bainsbridge-Waxweiler.”
Lancelot offered his hand. Gwaine shook it and never wanted to let go. “You can just call me Gwaine.”
“Then call me Lance, please.”
Lancelot. Lance. Gwaine could say his name for eternity.
“Now, we have all met and I’m ravenous.” Lucia, who was seated between them, immediately reminded them of the fact.
Gwaine and Lance let go of each other’s hand.
Dinner was served. Conversation flowed between them like river to the ocean. Gwaine eventually got his wits about him, cracking his jokes and commenting on the twice removed Pendragon cousins across the room. Lucia was just as ruthless, possibly even more. Lance was refraining from saying anything bad.
At one point, Lucia stared at him, half-proud half-wary. “We raised you too well, I think.”
Lance ducked his head and a blush spread through his face. Gwaine thought it was the most adorable sight.
“I think you did a really good job.”
“Well, cheers to me.” She turned to Gwaine. “Where was I? Oh yes.” She continued her remarks unperturbed. Gwaine spied around her to see if Lance was paying attention. He was smiling at his mother’s antics, that was for sure. He might not have been participating but he was listening intently too.
Soon enough, when dinner was done, and the cake cutting passed, the music became louder and the dance floor opened.
Lucia basically jumped up and grabbed their hands. “Come, boys. Let’s dance!”
Lance had no choice and Gwaine figured that it wouldn’t hurt his chances if he fell into Lucia’s good graces. He joined them and enjoyed it. She was a hell of a dancer and she’d obviously passed that trait on to Lance. Mother and son were on fire on the dance floor. They took over three songs and then Lucia decided that the wedding guests weren’t her responsibility to entertain so she graciously conceded the floor to the brides. Gwen and Morgana hugged her before she left the dance floor.
Gwaine and Lance followed to leave too but she stopped them.
“Stay,” she commanded. “I’m going to the lady’s room,” she said and was immediately surrounded by other women her age. They all went off together, leaving Gwaine and Lance standing there.
“Want to get a drink?” Gwaine asked; he wasn’t ready to dance with Lance without Lucia, and wasn’t ready to be alone with Lance without a drink in his hand.
“Let’s do it.”
They got their drinks. Lance stuffed a couple of bills in the tip jar generously. Gwaine smiled at him.
They stood by the bar and almost had to sink into an awkward silence when Lance spoke up.
“No offense, but who are you again?” His face was genuinely curious and Gwaine correctly read it as an invitation to get to know each other rather than a dismissal.
“I don’t know if you’re ready for this story.”
Lance leveled him with a raised eyebrow, interest piqued. Gwaine sipped at his drink.
Lance smiled, “Obviously you’re here as Morgana’s guest or else I would already know you. But you’re here alone, so I’m a little confused.”
Gwaine smirked. “Well, if you must know. You know Arthur? I dated him in high school.”
Lance turned his body so that his full attention was given to Gwaine. “You were invited because you dated Morgana’s brother in high school?”
“Not quite. So, we broke up senior year but we were still good friends. Then I dated Merlin freshman year of university.”
“They’re together, though.”
Gwaine smiled fondly. “They weren’t then .” Lance gestured for him to continue.
“So, for a year I dated Merlin. Then we broke up and my ex-boyfriends got together. And then I dated Morgana the summer after our first year of uni. It was just a summer fling.” Gwaine scuffed his foot on the grass. “Then, their father died and I had to move. And we sort of lost touch.”
“You haven’t talked to them since freshman year of university and yet here you are, four years later. You must’ve been important.” If it was anyone else, Gwaine would take it as an affront, but Lance’s words were solemn and true. He sincerely thought this of Gwaine, and it made Gwaine want it as the truth as well.
Gwaine smiled. “We’re friends on Facebook and stuff, so I guess it wasn’t like we didn’t know what was happening in each other’s lives. I was surprised to get invited still though.” It was a great surprise, in fact, and rewarding. If it brought him here. If it introduced him to Lance. Gwaine was thanking every god for the invitation.
Gwaine pointed his finger at Lance. “What about you? Giving away the bride.”
Lance was open as Gwaine had been. “I’ve known Gwen since birth. Our parents met in Lamaze class. But her mom died giving birth to her and her dad was struggling to raise Elyan and a newborn baby too. So, my moms offered to help him. We basically grew up together. I spent as much time at her house as much as I did in mine. And vice versa. Her dad died when we were in high school and her and Elyan came to stay with us. I mean, Elyan was already an adult but he stayed with us when he was in town. I love her to death though. She’s basically my sister.”
“That’s awesome. Of your moms, I mean.”
Lance loved his mothers very much, Gwaine could see that. He felt the same way about his own.
“You too. I mean, coming to their wedding even though you haven’t seen them in a while.”
Gwaine shrugged. “What better way to reconnect? Although, I haven’t really said a word to any of them tonight. Your mother is an exceptional attention-keeper.”
“Oh well, I wouldn’t want to monopolize your time any more than I should be.”
Gwaine thought he was half joking and didn’t want him to be. He wanted him to be fully joking because Gwaine didn’t think he could just walk up to Arthur or Merlin or Morgana and talk to them. It was easier to talk to a stranger.
“I think I’ll stay.”
“No. No, I think you should say hi to them. Get it over with.”
Gwaine raised an eyebrow, questioning his choice of words.
Lance nodded, “Get it over with. So that I can have you for the rest of the night.”
“Well, if you put it that way.” Gwaine finished the rest of his drink and left the glass on the counter. “Pardon me, sir. I must quickly make an appearance to my three ex-lovers.”
Lance choked on his drink laughing. Gwaine turned toward the dance floor dramatically. “Here I go.”
“Good luck.”
Gwaine turned back around, just as dramatically. He strode back to where Lance was and took his drink from his hands. Gwaine drank the rest of it, slammed the glass on the counter, apologized profusely to the bartender, and stole a kiss from Lance.
Lance was stunned and before he could reciprocate, Gwaine pulled away. He gave Lance a salute and turned again, this time, ready as ever to say hello to his friends.
“I’ll be here.” Lance said quietly, assuring Gwaine.
“I’ll be right back.”
Gwaine came right back, just as he said to find Lance with two new drinks.
“How was it?”
“Arthur Pendragon is still a posh bastard. And devilishly, disarmingly handsome. Disgusting. Merlin Emrys is still adorable and even more badass than I remember. They deserve each other. I bet they’ll get married soon too. I hope I don’t have to go alone if I’m invited. Morgana is a stone-cold bitch and she’s going to rule the fucking world. Gwen,” he said and looked at Lance. Lance was ready with a warning look. Gwaine gave him a grin to assure him. “She is an angel and Morgana is very lucky to have her. You are a very lucky boy for knowing her. And I am very lucky to meet her.”
Lance raised his head in pride.
“Arthur and Merlin are definitely going to get married soon. I saw the rings. Don’t tell them I know. If I have a say in it, you’re definitely not going alone. Morgana is scary and she will rule the world. And my dear, sweet Gwen and I are also really lucky to have met you tonight.”
Gwaine lost him just after he said something about Gwaine not being alone. His brain was trying to catch up when Lance short-circuited it again by stealing, (or was it returning) a kiss. Either way, Gwaine was enjoying whatever was happening. Make-out with the best man at a wedding? Check that off his bucket list, thank you very much.
“You drove here?” Lance asked. Gwaine nodded, giddy at the implications.
“Yes, but I’m pretty sure I’m drunk as hell.”
Lance bit his lip. “They have a taxi service.”
“Of course, they would.” Of course, the Pendragons would offer such a service. They had no right to be extremely rich and extremely caring. God, he loved them, and missed them so much.
“Let’s get out of here.”
“Should we say goodbye?”
Lance hummed. “Yes. I will. I should tell Gwen and my mom.” He sounded in disarray but Gwaine was too, if he had to think and talk, he wouldn’t be able to do it straight. The alcohol and the feeling of infatuation and desire were clouding his brain too.
“Same. Not to Gwen or your mom. But you know.” Lance nodded jerkily.
“Okay. Let’s meet back here in five minutes.”
They shook hands and then stared at their hands. Gwaine laughed and pulled Lance towards him to kiss him again. “Okay.”
He found Merlin and Arthur and bid them goodnight, or something like that. There was definitely hugging and numbers being programmed into phones. He saw Morgana and kissed her cheek and told her how wonderful her new family was. She chided him for being far away and threatened bodily harm if he went silent again. (She also said he looked hot as hell in his suit, so that was a win.)
Five minutes later, Gwaine and Lance left the reception, got into a cab, and went to Gwaine’s apartment.
Gwaine had the best night and best sleep of his entire life. His backside hurt a little but, it was well worth the trouble. He woke up alone in the bed but hoped that he wasn’t really. The noise in the kitchen relieved any doubt he had. He pulled on a pair of underwear just to be decent. He followed the noise and saw Lance in the kitchen, even less decent than he was.
Lance was cooking naked but for the apron that covered his front. His whole back was exposed and Gwaine didn’t think he could drool any more than he was over the smell of food.
As lovely as the sight was, Gwaine knew he couldn’t let it go on. He went back to his room and grabbed a fresh pair of underwear to lend to Lance.
“Morning,” he said, walking in again into the kitchen. Lance did not turn around but echoed his greeting.
Gwaine walked up to him, and plastered himself against Lance’s back. He pulled Lance away from the stove and dangled the underwear in his face.
“As much as I love seeing this, Percy would kill me for letting you use his apron like this.”
Lance blushed, quickly trading the spatula for the underwear. When he was decent, Gwaine gave him back his utensil and he went back to the stove.
“My apologies to Percy.”
Gwaine went for the cupboards. “Oh, I’m never going to tell him it happened. No harm done. And he definitely does not need to know.”
Lance turned as he put the eggs on a plate.
“If he ever finds out though, don’t say I didn’t apologize.”
Gwaine placed a hand over his chest, “I promise.”
There was quite a spread on the dining table. Eggs, bacon, sausages, toasted bread, tomatoes, cheese spread. On one hand, Gwaine felt bad for eating so much of Percy’s food like this, but on the other hand, he simply didn’t care.
“Thanks, chef.”
“It’s my job.”
Gwaine forked a bacon and ate it. “Really?”
“Yeah. Head Chef of --”
Gwaine stopped him, “No. Let me guess. Camelot Kitchen?”
Lance acknowledged him with a smile which gave Gwaine false security because it wasn’t the right guess.
“I mean, I started at Camelot Kitchen, but now I have my own.”
“What’s it called?”
“Why don’t I let you guess again?”
Gwaine pouted. “So that I can be wrong again? Just tell me.”
Lance sighed and shook his head, acquiescing to Gwaine’s request. “It’s a little bar and bistro called The Griffin. Heard of it?”
Gwaine shook his head. “No. I don’t live here.”
Lance’s hands stopped whatever they were doing. “You don’t?”
Gwaine shook his head again. “I’m only here for the wedding.”
“Oh, this is Percy’s apron.” Lance gestured.
“Yep. Percy’s apron. Percy’s apartment. Percy’s food.”
Lance bit his lip. “Oh, shit.”
Gwaine hummed and kissed him. “Love your dirty talk.” Lance pushed him away gently.
“We should grocery shop.”
Gwaine went back to his food. “Percy doesn’t care.”
“Still...” Gwaine could tell that Lance was not going to let this go.
“Okay, okay. We shouldn’t really, because he won’t be back for two weeks. I will call and tell him he is entitled to a free meal at The Griffin. Good?”
Lance smiled fondly at him. “Good.”
But the conversation was not done. “So, where do you live?”
Gwaine bit into his toast. “Germany. That’s where we moved. But my parents came back here and I stayed and I’ve lived there ever since.”
“When do you go back?”
Gwaine had taken five days off for the wedding to have some time with his parents before he had to get back. Friday to Tuesday. Today was Sunday.
“I fly back Tuesday afternoon.”
“You got plans?”
“I have to visit my parents later today. After that, my calendar’s free.”
The gears in Lance’s head were shifting, Gwaine could tell by the way he was biting his lip and his faraway look.
So, he decided to beat him to the punch. “If you’ve got any ideas, I’m down.”
Lance put down his empty plate and his empty mug and reached for Gwaine. “One more for the road?”
Gwaine glanced at the clock on the microwave and it read 10:33.
“I don’t have to be at their house until 2.”
“Perfect.” Gwaine’s air was knocked out of him with how fast Lance had gripped him and pulled him back to the room.
Gwaine had the best morning of his life too.
They loathed to part with each other. For a second, Gwaine thought, well I met his mom last night, would it be so weird if he met mine today? He dispelled that thought quickly. Yes, it would be crazy. He’d known Lance for a day. He’d known him for a day and felt like he’d known him for a lifetime. Or he wanted to anyways.
Lance made the decision for him in the end, when they’d gone back to get Gwaine’s car (Percy’s car) and he had Gwaine drive him home.
“I’ll text you after,” Gwaine said.
Lance pulled him in for another kiss. “Text me anytime.”
Gwaine was going to.
“I’ll be back.”
“I’ll be here.”
When Gwaine drove away, he expected the dreadful feeling of leaving Lance behind to weigh on him, but instead the excitement of seeing him again alleviated anything that threatened to make him feel sad. He arrived at his moms’ house with a spring in his step and they were not letting him get away without telling them about it.
Raquel and Colleen Bainsbridge-Waxweiler called their son liebling and hugged him as if they’d never let go. “We missed you. How was the wedding?”
“Amazing.” Gwaine admitted.
Raquel and Colleen exchanged knowing looks. “You met someone.”
He was transparent to them, like an open book. He was a book they’d read cover to cover. Hell, he was the book they collaborated writing. They could tell by his smiles and his frowns and all the things he tried to keep from them. They were much too intelligent and far too inquisitive not to know, not to be right.
“Go on. Tell us about them.”
“His name is Lancelot du Lac. He’s Gwen’s best friend slash adoptive brother or something. His mom is a riot; you’d love her. He cooks. Like professionally. He’s a chef and he owns The Griffin. You live here, maybe you’ve heard of it? He’s sweet and funny and he gets me.”
Raquel pursed her lips. She grasped Gwaine’s arm and said, “ Liebling ,” as if she was afraid to let him down, as if she felt bad for him. He wasn’t delusional; this thing he felt for Lance was big, bigger than anything he’d ever felt in his life. He knew she meant be careful . They were only looking out for him as mothers were wont to do.
“I am,” he insisted and they believed him. Colleen stirred the conversation away. They ate and shared stories. Gwaine texted Lance to ask for his mother’s number. He passed that along to his own.
Gwaine missed them so much, every day he was away. They were rock steady. They never judged him for his mistakes, only helped him when he was down. Before he left their house, Raquel gave him another of her looks. He kissed her cheek and hugged her.
“Come back again before you leave on Tuesday.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Gwaine sat in the car for a whole minute before he pulled out his phone and opened his messages. He texted Lance asking him what he had planned for them. It didn’t take two seconds for Lance to reply. Meet me at The Griffin. And then sent the address.
Gwaine waved again to his parents and then drove off as soon as he had Google Maps ready.
He followed the map and parked in front of The Griffin. It was modest looking and perfectly Lance. The sign said it was closed so Gwaine knocked on the glass door. He peered through it and saw Lance coming.
“Welcome.”
“What’s this?”
Lance led him to a table. “This is a date.”
“Do I get a menu?” Gwaine asked as Lance pulled out his chair for him.
“I’m not a waiter. You’ll eat what I cook and you’ll like it.”
Gwaine felt a shiver run through him. Lance bent down from where he was standing and their lips met in an electrifying kiss. He pulled away and opened a wine bottle. He poured it for Gwaine and for himself.
The bistro was obviously empty save for the two of them. But it was nice like this, in the low romantic light. Gwaine wanted to know everything about the man before him. More importantly, Gwaine wanted Lance to know everything about him too, good and bad.
Lance served them what he called sesame crusted Ahi tuna which sounded delightful and tasted like heaven. Gwaine couldn’t stop complimenting it. He was almost out of words when Lance served him pork chops and gnocchi. He could get used to this, to this food, this man, this life.
In between the courses, Lance talked about Lucia, how she told her wife Astra about Gwaine, about how charming he was. Gwaine asked him to talk about his other mother and Lance waxed poetic about Astra. She was a doctor who ran a clinic for undocumented patients and how she had an emergency surgery yesterday and that’s why she couldn’t come to the wedding. Gwaine loved hearing him talk about them. He hadn’t met a lot of people with two moms. It had been hard, with Arthur and Morgana to talk about his mothers when they clearly missed theirs. But he had offered them what Lance had given Gwen, his own as proxy if they ever needed.
In turn, Lance asked about Raquel and Colleen and Gwaine couldn’t keep the stories to himself. He told Lance about why they moved to Germany in the first place. Colleen was from Germany. “In fact,” Gwaine said, conspiratorially, “I was born there.” Lance smiled at that. He asked, “Where?” and Gwaine said, “Guess.”
“Ah, payback. Okay.” Lance swirled his glass of wine as he thought about it. “Is it too unimaginative to say Berlin?”
“Is that your final answer?”
Lance shook his head. “No. Wait.” Gwaine let him think, though he had a feeling Lance would never get it. Still, he let him try.
“Maybe you’re trying to psych me out. Final answer: Berlin.”
Gwaine smiled kindly to make Lance feel better. “I was born in Bielefeld. But I do live in Berlin so I guess you get points for that.”
“Let’s call it even.”
All filled with wine and amazing food, Gwaine thought he would slip into a food coma. But he stayed awake and alive because Lance was even more enchanting. They were so many things about Lance that Gwaine discovered in the past 24 hours, and he was sure there would be more in the days coming, and there would be more and more every day in the future.
At the end of their meal, he helped Lance with the dishes and cleaning up the mess they made. It was already 9pm. They had sat there for hours as if time didn’t exist, as if nothing else in the world existed. And it felt great to let the world fall away even for a few hours.
They stood by Gwaine’s car exchanging kisses like teenagers. Their hands were everywhere on each other. Hungry as if they hadn’t just spent hours eating and talking and being in each other’s company. There was a part of Gwaine that wanted it all because he felt that he would lose it. He didn’t want to think about that. He wanted to be in the moment, instead of entertaining what ifs. But there was the one thing, the heavy thing that couldn’t be dismissed no matter what, that he had to talk to Lance about. Get it over with.
Gwaine pulled away and Lance tried to chase his lips. When he noticed that Gwaine was seriously stopping, he stopped too.
“I have to tell you something.”
Lance’s eyes were studying him. Gwaine wanted to hide but knew he couldn’t, not anymore, not to Lance. Lance’s hand came up to Gwaine’s face and caressed his cheek. He made everything feel like it was okay.
“Is it good or bad?”
Gwaine said in all honestly, “It was bad. But I think I’ll be okay now. I think it’ll be okay.” He wanted Lance to know his past, however damaging it had been, however damning it might be now.
“Whatever it is, when you tell me, do you want to be in a safe place?”
Gwaine nodded, “I suppose.”
Lance beamed. “Okay. Let’s take my car. I’m about to show you my favorite place in the world.” Gwaine followed him. He thought, anywhere and everywhere.
There was a park with rolling hills. When they stood at the top of one of the hills, they could see a picturesque skyline. It felt liminal where nothing and everything existed.
“When I was a boy, my mothers used to take me out here and show me the city and show me the stars. They said that I would understand as I grew up, how small we are compared to the universe but that didn’t mean that we didn’t matter.” Gwaine followed the line of Lance’s arm as it stretched out towards the sky. “Mama said we are all connected like the stars in the sky. She said there are stories that are meant to cross paths, like constellations. They come together to form a bigger picture, a bigger story.”
Lance’s attention switched from the stars to Gwaine. He reclined against the grass and let Gwaine do the same. He turned to Gwaine and stared into his soul, reached out and held Gwaine’s hand. Lance nosed against Gwaine’s cheek. He whispered.
“So, tell me. Tell me about the boy I’m falling for.”
Gwaine found strength. The stars were watching him, waiting for him. Lance was holding him, anchoring him.
“I was being stupid. You know alcohol and drugs and peer pressure and you think, it’s not going to be you. You’re not going to be that dumb. That was me. I thought okay, one is fine. Then one time turned to a couple turned to several. My parents had returned here by that time. I hid it from them so well that they let me stay in Germany as if I was responsible enough. I dropped out of university, second year, and ended up on the streets and they didn’t know. My parents were there for conferences and work and I was tagging along. I begged them to let me study there. I begged them to let me live there. And they did. And I let them down.
“First it was from friends, the drugs. Then it was from strangers. Then it was coming from people others knew were trouble. I ignored all the signs that said it was becoming too much. I couldn’t stop. Not until one of my friends died from it. Then I knew I was supposed to stop before it happened to me too.
“I called my mom. I was crying, I was in pain. And they hopped on the next flight to Berlin. We went back to Bielefeld and then we came back here for a short time. It was torture. I begged them not to tell anyone. I couldn’t face anyone, but I had to. I especially had to face Tristan’s family and apologize to them. Tristan...he was so much better than me, and he said he loved me and he wouldn’t let me go through anything alone. So, he started doing them with me. I can’t --fuck. When he died, I thought. Who else have I destroyed? Arthur? Merlin? Morgana?
“I got clean. I’ve been clean for a year and a half now. The night before Gwen and Morgana’s wedding, I drank everything in Percy’s apartment. I didn’t want to face the possibility that I fucked them up too. I was hungover. I didn’t think I would even last that night. And then I saw you. And then your mom talked to me. And then I thought: if I could live one night without a past, it would be lived with you. So, I pretended like my life began the moment I met you. I talked to my friends again without thinking about how I may have ruined their lives.
“And it was good. You’re good. I don’t want to destroy you.”
Gwaine felt the tears on his face and wiped it away. He had never unloaded his feelings like this to anyone except his mothers. Lance wasn’t saying anything but his grip on Gwaine’s hand never faltered. He never let up an inch.
“You’re good too.”
Neither of them said anything else. They stayed there, holding hands, holding each other until they felt the biting cold of the night. They drove back to The Griffin for Gwaine’s car.
“Thanks for showing me your favorite place.”
Lance laughed. “Anytime.” He made to start his car again and Gwaine made to leave it but he stayed there, contemplating. Lance reached over and grabbed his wrist.
“Your past is your past. I’m sorry that happened to you. If you see a future with me in it, if you want that, I’ll be here.”
Gwaine turned his arm and found Lance’s fingers intertwined with his. He squeezed to make sure it was real, that this was real.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Gwen and Morgana are leaving for their honeymoon. Want to come have breakfast with us and say bye with me?”
Gwaine smiled at the thought of seeing his old friend and the thought of making a new one. “Count me in.”
When Gwaine awoke the next day, it was to a long-awaited email. Groggily, he opened it and his eyes shot open once he finished reading through it.
He let out a big sigh of relief, of contentment.
He got changed and waited for Lance to show up.
Morgana was thoroughly shocked to see him with Lance. She went on to berate him and they ended up in a bone-crushing embrace when the girls had to leave.
“Text me. Text me. Text me.” She said. “Not during my honeymoon but you know. Gwaine, promise me, you little shit.”
“You got it.”
Gwen gave him a hug too. She was demurer in nature, but she had warned him as any sister would. She didn’t use words but her pointed look said it all.
“I wouldn’t.” I wouldn’t break his heart. I wouldn’t want to.
Once the girls left, it was already midday. Gwaine had once again given the reins to Lance.
“It’s your last night here, right?”
“Yeah. What do you have in mind?”
“Shakespeare in the Park?”
Gwaine grinned, “Now?”
“In about an hour. We can go back to my house, get some snacks, and walk to the park.”
Gwaine offered his hand. Lance took it with no hesitation. “Let’s go.”
Lance’s parents were both at home when they got there. Lucia screamed when she saw him.
“Here comes trouble,” she said affectionately. He went to hug her. “I’ve added both of your mothers on Facebook. We are officially invited to their stitch and bitch next Friday. It’ll be glorious.”
“I’m glad. I think they need new cannon fodder.”
“Oh, I’ve got tons.” Lucia looked around. “Lance, where is your mother?” She turned towards the stairs. “Astra! Come meet Mr. Gwaine Bainsbridge-Waxweiler.” She flourished his name.
“Gwaine is fine,” he said again.
“Oh, you are fine.” Astra du Lac was as every bit as beautiful as her wife, and if possible, even saucier.
“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. du Lac.”
She pinched his cheek in lieu of shaking his hand. “Lancelot, we raised you too well, I think. Going out there and getting this fine young man.”
“Ma, please.”
“Are we embarrassing you?”
Lance came over and kissed her forehead. “Never.”
“He still lies. Good.”
Lucia took stock of them and the food Lance had upended from their pantry.
“Where are you off to?”
“We’re going to watch the play in the park.”
Lucia clapped her hands together and had a dreamy look in her eyes. “That Pendragon boy as Benedick. He’s captivating.”
“Enjoy yourselves.”
Gwaine stuttered out, “Is...Is Arthur in...the play?”
Lance grabbed his hand and led him outside. Gwaine followed diplomatically.
“He auditioned for Don John and got the part of Benedick.”
“This is going to be amazing.”
There were already so many people waiting at the park when they got there that Gwaine thought they wouldn’t get good seats. He should have known though that where Arthur was, Merlin would be too.
“Lance!” Merlin waved them over to his picnic blanket. He was near the front but not in the center. Merlin’s eyes widened when he saw Gwaine.
“I missed you so much.” Gwaine expressed the same sentiment. “How are you?”
“I’m good, Merlin. Thanks.”
“Awesome.”
They settled and got ready to watch. In all honesty, Gwaine found himself paying more attention to Lance than the play. Not that Shakespeare was tedious or anything. Arthur stole the spotlight from all the other actors, and Gwaine was surprisingly amazed by this. He was sure they would see Arthur at the world-famous Globe Theatre sometime in the future. Or maybe even Hollywood. Gwaine wouldn’t put it past him.
Merlin had a bouquet of flowers ready for the end of the performance. He waited patiently with Gwaine and Lance as Arthur mingled with his co-thespians and some of the people in the audience.
A gaggle of teenage girls had wanted pictures with Arthur; Gwaine didn’t blame any of them. And Merlin was an even more patient partner. He even offered to take the picture so that all of the girls could be in the photo. Merlin was genuinely proud of Arthur and any accolade he received.
“Gwaine!” Arthur greeted him. They had been fast friends when they were young and they came together now as if years had not gone by. Gwaine could see the Arthur he’d dated, the Arthur he’d befriended and knew then that their friendships had never suffered in the way Gwaine had feared.
“I didn’t know you acted.”
“No. I did business in university to please my father. But I started doing improv classes and acting classes and I just knew it was what I wanted.”
“I think the stage was made for you, too.”
“How about you?”
Gwaine’s body went stiff.
“You guys hungry? Let’s go out.” Lance interjected and smoothed over the situation.
“Let me get this stuff of my face and get dressed.” Arthur said and walked away. Merlin started cleaning up their picnic blanket.
“Hey,” Lance said softly to Gwaine to get him back.
“Sorry. I just...”
“No, it’s okay if you don’t --”
“Actually, I have good news about it. I just haven’t told my moms yet and I wanted to tell them first.”
“Okay,” Lance nodded. “Mum’s the word.”
“You think you’re funny.”
“You’re laughing, aren’t you?” Gwaine hummed in response.
“I was amused.”
Lance put his hands up in mock surrender. “Okay. Okay.”
Gwaine ignored him. “Merlin, do you need help?”
They fitted into each other’s lives seamlessly. It made Gwaine feel much lighter. Conversation flowed between them, stories from childhood and university overlapped, jokes and banter were exchanged. Gwaine watched Merlin and Arthur and thought that they were right for each other, even after all these years. They were deeply in love, that was obvious in the way they teased each other and held each other. Lance was watching them too. A darker part of Gwaine wanted to see jealousy from Lance. But there was none. And Gwaine found that he didn’t have any either no matter how enviable Merlin and Arthur looked. You don’t envy people when you also have what they’ve got.
It was a great night, a perfect last night.
Much like Morgana, Arthur made Gwaine promise to keep in touch. Merlin made him tell him his address in Germany too just in case.
“Next time you’re in town, let us know.”
“I promise.”
They had so much more to talk about, Gwaine knew. He had so many things he wanted to say to both of them and he was glad that the lines of communication would be open and welcome.
They walked back to Lance’s house. Since it was Gwaine’s last night, he was happy to have dinner with the du Lacs. When it was time for him to leave, Lucia gifted him a knitted sleeve for beer cans or bottles. “I know you’ve probably got a bunch of scarves and hats so I wanted you to have something to remember me by.” Gwaine laughed heartily. He loved it. She already had a special place in his heart, but this was a cherry on top.
“Thank you, Lucia.”
“We’ll see you soon, okay? We’ll be in touch with your mothers now, so you can’t escape us.”
Gwaine hugged both of them. “I’m sure my parents will be keeping us all in touch.”
“Have a safe flight.”
Gwaine took her gift and placed it in his pocket.
“It was an honor to meet you.”
“Oh, you’ve already got our approval, don’t need to flatter us anymore.”
Lucia and Astra basically shoo-ed them out of the house after that.
VIII.
They went back to Percy’s apartment after that.
“Want help?” Lance asked as Gwaine started packing. He helped Gwaine with cleaning up the apartment too even though Gwaine said he didn’t have to.
“No, seriously. You’ve done enough.”
Lance came over and helped him zip up his luggage. “Don’t be an idiot. Can I drive you to the airport tomorrow?”
“You want to?”
“I want to spend as much time as I can with you.”
Gwaine’s heart stuttered, and not for the first time since he met Lance.
“You want to spend the night then?”
Lance jumped on the bed and pretended to fall asleep.
Gwaine moved his luggage off the bed and joined Lance on the bed. Lance opened his eyes to meet Gwaine’s. Gwaine moved closer to kiss Lance.
“Want to marry me?
Lance chuckled and swiped a finger over Gwaine’s cheek. “We can’t elope; I specifically promised my Mama we won’t.”
“I love you.”
“You don’t think it’s too fast?”
Gwaine shrugged. “Try and stop me.”
“I don’t want to.”
The space between them disappeared. Gwaine swore it was replaced by something akin to the feeling of forever.
Lance spent the night with Gwaine. Gwaine thought, if they could, they’d spend all their nights together.
In the morning, Gwaine and Lance left Percy’s and drove back to Gwaine’s parent’s house.
Raquel and Colleen were so happy to see him.
Gwaine got them to sit down. “I have news.”
Raquel, Colleen, and Lance stared at him warily. Gwaine smiled so that they wouldn’t be so guarded and worried.
“I applied to the University of Ludwigshafen for Social Work and I got in.”
Raquel and Colleen jumped from their seats and basically tackled him. “That’s amazing! We’re so proud of you, liebling .”
“I couldn’t have done it without you guys.”
“You’re so much stronger than you know, Gwaine. We love you so much, no matter what.”
“Thanks. I love you guys too.”
Gwaine felt safe in their arms and found courage there too.
“Well, I should go.”
“Yes,” Colleen said as she patted his hair down. “Have a safe flight, baby.”
“I’ll call when I land.”
The drive to the airport was anything but quiet. Lance asked about Ludwigshafen and Gwaine started talking about how difficult it was to decide on which university to apply to and how nerve-wracking it was to have to wait for the acceptance letter. In return, Lance told him about waiting for the loan for The Griffin to come through, how Arthur had offered to bankroll him but Lance refused, but the loan went through and he got The Griffin.
“Oh, god. Speaking of Arthur, please tell me if he’s in another production. If I can’t make it to watch it, please take pictures.” Lance laughed and promised he would.
“Just text me anything. Email me dumb stuff, even those Pass this to 10 people shit.” Gwaine shook his head, retracting. “No, don’t send me those. But seriously. Tell me anything and everything.”
“If you promise to do the same.”
Gwaine offered his pinky childishly and grinned when Lance intertwined his with Gwaine’s.
At the airport, Gwaine thought he could let go but now he was unsure. He had already checked in his luggage but that could still be undone, maybe. Gwaine was floundering. There was a bright future ahead of him, he knew. But Lance was sunlight too.
Lance was holding his hands. “Should I start planning a trip to Germany, then?”
Gwaine chuckled. “Or you could give me a reason to stay?”
Lance’s face turned serious. “I’ve got a million reasons for you to stay.”
“Yeah?”
“They’re my reasons though. Whatever you do, whatever you choose has to be for you.”
Gwaine sighed. Lance was right and Gwaine knew what he wanted to do, and he shouldn’t second guess his decisions. This was the right thing to do for him.
“I’m going to Germany.”
Lance’s smile was warm and proud. Gwaine pulled him in and kissed him there and felt forever again. Lance kissed back just as passionately. He rested his forehead against Gwaine’s and whispered all his promises and all his love to Gwaine, “I’ll be here. I’ll be with you wherever we are.”