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“Any luck on breaking through?”
“Oh yeah. Lots of luck. All of it bad.”
“Oh, come on, how hard could it be to—oof.”
Tony winced in sympathy to the sound of Clint getting tackled over the comm. He hovered above the main action, taking a brief lapse in his own fight to take stock over the battle as a whole.
The most recent batch of baddies to pay Earth – and by extension the Avengers – a visit weren’t terribly subtle in their antagonism. Which was a bit of a relief, in his opinion, since it meant that at least they weren’t going to be surprised by space squids in the sewers or something. Or at least these ones wouldn’t be the sewer squids… Tony sighed.
These space invaders were bipedal and suited up, effectively making them faceless, and seemed to be focusing on just causing as much destruction and chaos as possible. It was annoying, but also very in vogue for off planet invaders this season. At the moment the focus of the team was to try and break up their ranks and scatter them, and hopefully drive them back and away.
They were unfortunately resilient.
“Hawk, you alright? Or should we start divvying up your stuff?”
Grunts, and then a short squawk came over the comm. Down below, the attacking invader slid off of Clint. “Thanks for the concern, Stark, I’m touched. Get your own arrows.”
Tony tsked. “Spoil sport.” Then he had to duck. The invaders had fliers as well.
The fight went on for another few minutes, with neither side making much headway, before a new voice – tired and exasperated – came over Tony’s earpiece.
“This is ridiculous,” Loki growled, obviously having no better luck than any of the rest of them. “Brute force is getting us nowhere.”
“What would you suggest?” Nat asked, her own voice sounding strained.
“A diversionary tactic,” Loki came back quickly. “Take away their focus, possibly lead off a few of their members—“
“Absolutely not.” Thor’s tone was almost uncharacteristically flat, making Tony blink. “You will do nothing of the kind.”
“What, you don’t trust me, brother?”
Tony rolled his eyes, and more than one scoff came in over the comms.
“I have no doubt that it could be effective,” Thor admitted, punctuated with the sound of his hammer hitting someone’s skull. “That is not the point and you know that very well. If a diversion is needed, someone else can be the diversion. We don’t need a repeat of last time.”
“Why, what happened last time?” Tony asked, curiosity piqued.
“Not now, Tony.”
He opened his mouth to retort, but was made abruptly very busy as he had to deal with yet another attacker.
—•—
Eventually the invading force was driven back, and any of their number that could still move and coordinate packed back up onto their ships and went back to wherever it was they came from. All that was left for the team was cleanup – as always. Before they could get distracted into the mundanity that was the second part of their jobs, Tony swooped over to where the two Asgardians were standing. They’d be hard to miss, even if they weren’t so tall.
“Alright, Lokes! Spill, I wanna know why you aren’t allowed to distract enemies anymore.”
Loki raised his eyebrows at Tony, nonplussed. Over the course of the last year everyone had been slowly getting used to having the mage around, but it always seemed as though Tony was one of, if not the only one who it was taking Loki time to get used to.
Thor’s expression darkened, and he glanced at his brother. “It is something which we no longer speak of. Enough to know that it will not be repeated.”
Loki rolled his eyes, but Tony caught the twitch of his lips. Thor becoming aggravated was always one of his favorite pastimes. “Oh, come now. It wasn’t that terrible. Really, I had the worst end of the deal, and since it worked…”
“Loki, no.” Thor narrowed his eyes at his brother, unmoved.
Tony smirked at the two of them. “That bad, huh? That’s pretty impressive, considering some of the stories I’ve heard that you’ve got no problem at all sharing. What’d you do, Lokes? Dress in the drag and do the hula?”
Loki turned back to him with a wider smile, but Thor just continued to glower. Tony shrugged. “Whatever. Loki can just tell me all secret like when you’re not around, big guy.”
—•—
To Tony’s shock and disappointment, Loki didn’t give him all of the juicy details on why he wasn’t allowed to be distracting the battle anymore, not even when Tony managed to corner him alone. Loki didn’t seem nearly so perturbed by whatever the past incident had been, nor so scandalized that he would refrain from speaking about it… and yet he was.
It was because watching Tony wonder and suffer was more amusing than sharing the story, whatever it was. Tony didn’t need to have lived near the guy for a year to figure that much out. Loki could see that Tony had fixated on the story and was enjoying the fact that he could string out withholding it for ages and ages, taunting Tony with knowledge he couldn’t get from anyone else.
And he had fixated on the point. He’d heard stories of some of the crazy things Thor and Loki and their friends – Thor’s friends, really – had gotten up to, long before any had ever come to Earth. Some of it strained credulity, a quality which wasn’t lightened by the way Thor in particular liked to tell his stories. He could tell everyone the events which occurred while he was going to a supermarket and it would probably still come out fantastical, just by virtue of his style.
What could Loki have done to act as a distraction which would have earned a ban on ever doing it again, or even of speaking of it in Thor’s case?
He poked and prodded at Thor, but he wouldn’t budge, just saying that ‘Loki’s conduct had led to consequences which wouldn’t bear repeating.’ Loki just got a smug smile on his face and would talk circles around Tony until he wasn’t sure if he’d actually gotten an answer buried in hints and metaphors.
A small betting pool popped up from the rest of the team, with everyone laying down money on how long Tony would keep up trying to figure out the mini mystery, how long it would take before he did find out, or how long before he gave up.
Tony tried not to take it personally when Rhodey bet that he’d give up after only one month. Where was loyalty these days?
—•—
“Fishnets.”
Loki looked up from his book, blinking at Tony. “I beg your pardon?”
“Fishnets,” Tony repeated, motioning to him with his tablet. “I’m betting that the sort of distraction you created involved fishnets. And possibly hooker boots.”
Loki snorted, and returned to scanning his book. “Your desperation is beginning to show a little, Stark. Though I will admit that fish nets do feature in a different tale… though probably not in the way you think,” he added, glancing up at him under his brows.
Tony groaned, flopping into one of the bar stools, tablet hitting the countertop with a smack. “It’s not fair, you know. One of the best parts of actually having friends, or friend-adjacent teammates, is to share all of the crazy things one did in their youth. If you tell me what you did, I’ll share some of the shit I got into while I was at MIT.”
“A tempting offer,” Loki said drily, not looking up. “But hardly what I would consider an even trade. Given our comparative lifespans, the tales of my ‘youth’ would overwhelm your anecdotes, even if you including everything up until present day.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re old and wise and practiced at being a pain in the ass, I get it. Alright, how about we trade just one of your stories – the one I want – and I’ll tell you about everything interesting that happened to me while in school.”
The mage snorted. “You really must be desperate if you’re willing to offer up an entire chapter of your life as a bargaining chip. What if some other mystery in my past crops up? What would you offer to have me tell that?”
Tony shrugged. “I’m sure I’ll think of something when it comes up again. Maybe I’ll know your favorite candy by then and can offer the best of whatever that happens to be.”
“Mmm…” Loki looked up from his book, and leveled Tony with a stare which made him freeze in his seat. It wasn’t an angry look, but… fixed. “I have a better idea, I think. Rather than trade one tale for several, I will… consider sharing this particular story, if you spend an afternoon and evening in my company. If you amuse me enough, then I’ll tell you.”
Tony frowned at Loki. “Seriously? If I pass the test of being a charming devil, you’ll just tell me the whole thing? All of it?”
Loki’s mouth tilted in a half smile. “You make it sound so easy. I wouldn’t be too confident if I were you.”
“Are you kidding?” Tony hopped up from the stool, more energized than he’d been in days. “You happen to be addressing Tony Stark, thank you very much. I will be charming the socks off of you in no time. Tomorrow? Does tomorrow work?”
Still smiling, Loki nodded. Grinning ear to ear, Tony sped off, already planning on what to do for their day.
—•—
“I can’t believe you brother. Do you really plan on telling him?”
“That will depend almost entirely on Stark and how well he impresses me. Depending upon how the evening progresses, we might both be too… diverted to think much of telling tales.”
“Loki…”
“Calm yourself. I will swear him to silence on the matter before telling him if it will ease your mind. And keep you from hounding me.”
“Thank you. …I suppose if you do tell him, he’ll want to… well. Want to see the evidence that it happened? It’s still hard to credit the tale even if you were there, and Stark…”
“Mmm, true. A Midgardian would find it hard to believe. Though I’m sure I could very easily convince him of the possibility, even without taking him to Asgard.”
“Even if you don’t need to, it may be a good reason to go and see him again. Sleipnir has been missing you, and I’m sure Stark would appreciate seeing him.”
“And might get him on your side of my never using the diversionary tactics in battle, if he sees the result of the last time I did so?”
“It may get him to think twice on the method, if he sees that such methods may lead to motherhood.”