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Belonging

Summary:

Life is a rough fight, yet it's much easier to fight when you are not alone.

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Kiara knew first hand what it meant to not belong. And maybe that was the reason why JJ always opened in front of her.

 

John B was his first friend and the brother he always wished to have. However, it was Kiara that made him feel at home, that gave him hope.

 

Because it was her that without even questioning him, wrapped his bloody knuckles. She never asked what happened, never pressed him for an explanation. She jumped in his arms every time he needed something to hold onto.

 

It was her that told him that she didn't need an explanation and that she was willing to listen whenever he wanted too.

 

At first, he thought that it was just her being nice, but when he actually called her, one night after a rough night with his father, she showed up where he was. They spent all night in the sand , looking at the stars. The next day she didn't complain not even once about how tired she was.

 

And JJ knew how hard it was for someone to like him, nearly impossible to love him, yet his friends, no, his chosen family made it seem so easy. It was the small things that mattered. They brought him all kinds of trinkets to play with, knowing that they would be lost in a matter of days, JJ was the only one allowed to touch Kiara's hair and it was the brunette that  gave him the bracelet he was always wearing.

 

Kiara was the reason for their survival. Always being the voice of reason. It was her that made John B crack after his father's disappearance.

 

"JJ, why are you not sleeping?" The sleepy voice of Kiara made him turn to reality.

 

"Thinking." Her eyes were still closed, her face still half covered by the locks of hair. He lay back down, next to her. She snuggled closer to him. She threw one long leg over his waist, as she settled her head in the crook of his neck.

 

After that night, Kiara's parents took him in. 

 

It was a matter of days before she snuck into his room, claiming that she can't sleep alone. From then, it became a habit.

 

He would go to bed, only to feel the blanket shift and a warm body next to his, slander arms wrapping around his torso. 

 

He was afraid of turning around and embracing her. He was afraid that he would be rejected, that he would turn into a stray again.

 

He was afraid of her parents finding out.

 

He was afraid of losing her. 

 

It was her that one night, pressed her lips against his back, making him turn to face her, only for her to climb over him.

 

It was a roller coaster from beginning to the end. 

 

Kiara didn’t mention anything about their night together, JJ assumed that it was all about grief. She lost the boy she loved to her friend and then she lost both of them.

 

It had to be about the grief.

 

But it was not about grief. Even after John B and Sarah returned, she kept coming to his room night after night. 

 

He didn’t know what to think anymore. They never knew what was happening in her head. 

 

It was pure torture. Being so close, having sex, sleeping together, only for the morning to come and to not be able to tell her how he felt.

 

Why was she spending time with them?

 

Why was she always making sure that they were fed and well?

 

Why was she sleeping with him? Why was she having sex with him? Why why why?

 

“Hey, Kie. Why are you here?”  He was playing with a strand of her hair. 

 

“I want to sleep near you.”  She didn’t move from her spot, her body relaxed against his.

 

“Why?” His heart was beating so fast, the anxiety so much worse than when his father got angry.

 

“Because I love you.”  Kiara shifted from her place, facing him. She was tracing the outline of his jaw. “I love both Pope and John B as my brothers, however I love you so much more. I always did.”

 

“Why?” 

 

Why would she love him more?

 

“Because you have the most enormous heart. Because you are the only one that actually listens to my rants about turtles and whales. Because you would do anything to see us happy. Because you are this wonderful person that is impossible not to love.” She climbed over him, sitting on his abdomen, like she did many times before.

 

“You also get points for being blond with blue eyes and abs.” She winked, despite still looking sleepy. She was content with her confession.

 

“Are you sure?” He expected her to laugh and tell him that everything was a joke.

 

“I am sure, JJ. I never lied to you.”

 

It was all he needed to hear. His hands traveled up to her waist. Not only did he feel the intense desire that burnt his soul every time they were together, but he also felt the passion that was born from three words he rarely heard.

 

He rolled them both on the mattress, pinning her down with his body. He could see the surprise in her eyes aat show of dominance. Her lips met his in a rough kiss.

 

When they stopped, both of them were panting.

 

“I.., Kie, I am so in love with you, that I think that my heart will jump out of me.”  He understood the difference between having sex and making love with someone. 

 

It was the best thing he experienced in his life, the feeling of knowing that you are loved, that someone will always worry about you. 

 

His chosen family was the best thing happening in his life. Yet, the girl that he was kissing was making him feel worthy, valuable and special.

 

It was like a dream. Maybe life was offering him a second chance and maybe the sun was going to shine over his future.











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