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Wang Yibo doesn't peg himself as a romantic. Though the people around him would like to argue that he is, in fact, like any other boy who wishes for his own love story no matter how much he refutes it, and no, it wouldn't affect his cool image because it is normal. His admittance to believing in love at first sight had done nothing but to incriminate himself further on the notion, and yet, he doesn't regret voicing his sentiments out— he's not one to fib anyway.
Wang Yibo knows he has fallen in love, and contrary to popular belief, even to what he initially expected to happen— it wasn't love at first sight.
Strong attraction is the word that he'll use, instead of love . Again, his friends would say that it is indeed love and he's a coward who doesn't want to accept it but, since when did other's opinion—however important to him, change the way he thinks? So, he left it at that. He's at peace with the fact that the moment Xiao Zhan— as what his name tag indicated, entered their waiting room to greet them, Wang Yibo's entire world shifted.
He's pretty quick to accept that he's very much attracted to the pure eyed, bright smiling main vocalist of XNINE, but there's not much that he can do about it. He may have gotten the man's WeChat account and had accepted his request but, he thought that it'll be too weird to suddenly message him when they had not interacted directly— aside from the perfunctory greeting, during the entire filming. Also, the fact that he was specifically sought out privately for his number, singled out when he came with the rest of his members was enough to raise some questions. Wang Yibo wasn't even sure if the vocalist was interested in men, much less in someone who was six years younger than him. So yeah, Wang Yibo had done nothing but to stare at the daunting profile of his new contact— for days the same routine continued, but he always ended up closing the message window without doing anything.
Later, he was asked by Da Zhangwei if he already had made progress in his attempt to make friends, because that's the excuse that he came up with when he asked him to help acquire Xiao Zhan's number. By help, he meant making the older man return to XNINE's waiting room while Wang Yibo nervously waited for him to come back, either with a number or a rejection, but that's already besides the point. Wang Yibo had of course, answered carefully without exposing his apparent attraction, and again, came up with another lie that he's preoccupied with work and forgot about it.
Time passed by with that, and he's glad that his earlier lie slowly became the reality. Admittedly, there were still times when his finger would hover over the older man's name whenever he happened to scroll through his contacts, bored out of his mind from waiting in between takes, but the urge to throw caution on the wind and type a message had lessened. He's doing good at this— moving on from something that didn't even have the chance to bloom yet, part thankful that their interaction had been very limited (or none at all) so the only fuel that got him from still harbouring this attraction going was through the older man's uploaded pictures that would randomly surprise him whenever he opened his alternate weibo account.
No one caught Wang Yibo's eye again ever since meeting him. He'd worked with a lot of people, and had seen pretty faces on a daily basis but, it wasn't just the same as his first meeting with the older man. However, he's doing really fine— he could now stop his face from heating up whenever his bright smiling face would appear on his timeline. He's okay— he thought he could get through this eventually, but nothing could've shocked him more than knowing that Xiao Zhan was confirmed as the other male lead on a drama that he was trying to audition in.
Wang Yibo was a fool, but he knew that he'll regret not fighting for this role if he just let it slip by, just like that.
In the end, Wang Yibo got the role, and got himself far deeper in this whole attraction thing. A nagging voice mocked him that he took two steps forward, but he took 10 steps backward (100 steps, if he's being really hard on himself), though he tried to ignore it.
Working with Xiao Zhan allowed him to know him better— allowed him to put a personality on the already perfect image on Wang Yibo's mind.
Xiao Zhan didn't only possess a God- like appearance, but his heart was also made of pure gold. His eyes were brimming with innocence and youth, and his dedication to his craft had received him numerous praises from the staff of their production. Wang Yibo felt his heart swell with joy— proud that Xiao Zhan was loved and appreciated by many. He always knew that he's more than just a pretty face.
So, with all things considered, Wang Yibo allowed himself to fall. Hard. Harder than what he initially expected, but what can he do? Xiao Zhan was right there— all smiles and easy laughters, a constant kind and comfortable presence for the whole duration of filming, ever so patient with him despite his attempts to bully him by hitting him repeatedly and raining him with compliments he didn't even know he's capable of producing. He knew that he's acting like a kid, and what he's doing was equivalent to him pulling pigtails, but no one had to know that he's incredibly self aware of his actions despite appearing casual about it.
Keeping himself from falling for this wonderful man was futile— a lost cause, so he tried the next best thing and that was to fully embrace the fact that he had fallen in love. There's no way out, so might as well just accept it.
He's prepared a parachute to caution his fall, so despite his admittance, it wouldn't hurt him so much once this was all done and they were to part again. But with every compliment returned, every concern directed at him— something that felt so foreign yet he yearned for it, every touch that lingered, Wang Yibo felt his control weaken.
By the end of the filming, Wang Yibo, despite his attempts to soften the blow, had ended up still crashing hard.
And again, contrary to what others may believe, he had done nothing about it.
It was going to be okay. After all, he did manage to slightly move on from the older man after their first meeting, right? The entertainment industry was large, and the possibility for them to work together so soon again was slim. He had tried it once, so he could do it for the second time, right?
Wang Yibo was so wrong.
Unlike before, he had a chat history to read between the two of them now. He had enough interactions to replay behind his lids that kept himself awake at night, and had a lot of "what-ifs" that were clouding his mind whenever he had the spare time to space out. He had only lasted for a full week of radio silence— had been so distracted that the people around him also began to notice, before he's messaging Xiao Zhan again, trying to pick up where they left off.
It was Xiao Zhan who confessed first— another surprising fact, but it was Wang Yibo who kissed him first. Not necessarily in the correct order, but the most important thing was— his feelings were returned. Must have been the alcohol in his system that gave him enough courage to lean in and taste those pouting lips, or maybe it's the look that the older sent him when he thought he's too focused on the movie to notice him staring. Either way, Wang Yibo felt the happiest man alive on that day, felt so emotional his heart was about to beat so hard out of his chest.
It should've been easy from then on. Their feelings were mutual, and they might as well be dating, but for a whole lot of reasons, they're not. Being an entertainer meant that they had a lot of things to consider, more so after A-Ling began to air and their respective careers were steadily rising. There's not much time for them to meet and spend time together, because they're always somehow whisked to another schedule without fail. Wang Yibo was starting to suspect that management knew of their affair (he's not really discreet with his affections way back before they confessed to each other anyway) and thus finding ways to keep them both occupied, but he knew better than that. More eyes were now trained on them— whether if it's out of interest or to find an opening to drag them both down, he wasn't sure, but he understood why Xiao Zhan was extra cautious.
Xiao Zhan, as the level headed one between them, had assured them that nothing will change despite their increasingly tight schedule. Wang Yibo wanted to argue and say that he wanted things to change— as selfish as it sounded, because apart from the confession that he received from the person he's been pining for quite some time, he still can't call Xiao Zhan as his, even though he's given himself to the man before he even thought of asking.
And that's what frightened Wang Yibo the most— the probability that Xiao Zhan will never ask.
But he held them all in. He forcefully suppressed any lingering greed within him to just directly ask and clarify their stand in this relationship— if it's even qualified to be called as one. On some days, he'll feel guilt consume him for wanting too much, because Xiao Zhan had been giving him attention and affection, exerting effort to show that he's appreciated. He'd give him gifts—the ox head necklace was his favorite and what he's been wearing often, and he will find time in between his filming to visit his place, or facetime him when they're both at the comforts of their own private space. Wang Yibo would berate himself for wishing for more, for something they both know was too risky at the given moment.
It's kind of like an open secret in the industry— that Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan adored each other more than what friends were supposed to feel for each other. He'd been asked too, of course, by his members and his TTXS's brothers, and this time, he wasn't lying when he answered Da Zhangwei that he didn't know. That he wasn't sure on how to address Xiao Zhan aside from being his very special friend . It sounded dodgy, even to his own ears, but that's just how it was. The older host surprisingly didn't prod for more, aside from a cryptic ' communicate' , which didn't seem that confusing anymore once the implication dawned on him.
Wang Yibo wanted to do that, but Xiao Zhan was caught in a bad time. He had never felt more frustrated, had never felt more useless as he watched Xiao Zhan receive all these baseless hates and blame for something he had no control over. Xiao Zhan had reassured him that it's fine, that staying beside him was more than enough, and Wang Yibo felt silly for receiving the comforting words instead of the other way around.
He was jolted out of his musings by his phone's vibration beside him, and then he remembers that it's late at night and he's at his place, on his living room sofa, accompanied only by the quiet murmur of his television. His phone buzzes again and he promptly picks it up, still a bit dazed from the thousand thoughts still running wild inside his mind. Most messages were from his manager— probably informing him about his upcoming projects and the works lined up for him, so he ignores all of that, in favor of opening Xiao Zhan's lone message, sitting atop his notification bar like some sort of beacon of light that sends his insides tingling.
It might have been like that, because he feels himself smiling as he didn't bother to check the contents of the message, immediately hitting the call button beside his contact name.
His lips stretch into a grin once Xiao Zhan's smiling face comes into view, and Wang Yibo feels as the storm inside his head slowly subsides. No one speaks for a while, until Xiao Zhan breaks the silence with a laugh— the sound laced in static but still has the same calming effect on him. The last bit of his worry vanishes when he hears him call his name, fond and oh so sweet— his cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling too much. Wang Yibo will still make sure for their talk to happen on the nearest time possible, once everything is a little bit more steady, and the public isn't coming for their necks.
For now though, Wang Yibo gleefully exchanges a compliment of his own, and reminds himself that he should be content with this. After all, back then, he didn't even know that it's possible for them to be in this kind of setting. If Xiao Zhan is still hesitant in keeping him; if he still has doubts over them, it's okay because Wang Yibo still has enough time to convince him.
Xiao Zhan is staring at him in a way that makes his breath catch, and it's funny that he still has this much effect on him even if they're miles apart, and is only connected through a small device. He had truly fallen for him.
*
It isn't love at first sight, but somehow along the way, he's sure that whatever he feels for the older male, has been love. Wang Yibo isn't a romantic either, but he often finds himself wondering how nice it'll be to marry Xiao Zhan somewhere in Europe, dressed lightly because the blazing heat of summer is too much, and to be able to kiss him by the altar while their family and close friends cheer for them.