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Shouta had never considered himself a kind of person who knew how to reassure. Of course, he always tried to give it his best attempt, and his profession required it more often than he cared to admit. Despite it, he’d never figured out what to say or do to make people feel better. He never knew how to provide moral support in times it was needed the most.
He thought that because of it, people who barely knew him assumed that he simply didn’t care, that he was cold and emotionless, but it wasn’t true.
As Shouta made his way out of the dormitory, he spotted All Might almost instantly, sitting on the bench in front of the building — a spot he took a liking to almost as soon as they moved here.
It was an early October evening, sun setting down slowly, tinting the skies in shades of pink and purple. All of the trees around started to turn yellow and red in their preparation for the winter, yet the evening was hot and humid, and All Might was dressed in black slacks and jacket over a long sleeved shirt. It was exactly the same attire he wore to the funeral of Sir Nighteye, and they had returned from it hours ago.
He seemed detached, his eyes aimed somewhere into the distance, but not looking at anything in particular. There was emptiness in his expression, but a knowing acceptance, too, which made Shouta think it wasn’t the first time he’d lost somebody he cared about.
Shouta pondered if he needed to ask how All Might was doing, but then thought better of it. What was the point of asking if he was ok, if even a fool could see that it wasn’t the case?
“Have you eaten?” Shouta inquired instead, moving closer.
“Wasn’t in a mood,” All Might replied without needing to think, and it wasn’t exactly what Shouta expected. He expected the man to tell him that he forgot, like he usually did when lost in thoughts. Instead, he confessed to choosing to skip meals on purpose, despite how harmful it was to his already weakened health. Was he punishing himself?
“Here,” Shouta said, reaching for one of the belt pouches of his jumpsuit and pulling out two protein bars.
Without further warning, he threw one at All Might and saw the man catching it effortlessly without even looking. Only when the bar was in his hands, he glanced down to see what he was given.
“Thank you,” he sighed, not even trying to put up a fight, then proceeded to unwrap the thing, taking a small bite, chewing it thoroughly.
Satisfied, Shouta opened his own, sending half of it into his mouth. The wrapper said it was supposed to be blueberries and chocolate, but it also had reduced sugar, and tasted something more like cardboard and wooden shavings. Strangely perfect for his taste pallet.
Still, it wasn’t something he would’ve bought for himself, but he started to carry them around just in case. He didn’t want to look closer at the reasons behind it, he didn’t think he wanted to face them just yet.
“Are you going back to the hospital?” All Might inquired after a moment of silence.
“Yeah, is that so obvious?” Shouta shrugged, glancing down at the rolled sleeping bag and a children’s book under his armpit.
All Might chuckled, the sound too deep to even attempt passing as cheerful, but it was sincere. “You’re a good man, Aizawa.”
Shouta couldn’t see it himself, didn't really agree with the statement. Yet, he didn’t wish to argue either. He was so damn tired of it. Instead, he shoved the rest of the protein bar into his mouth and distracted himself with chewing.
“I can take your first period and the Homeroom duties tomorrow. Sleep in,” All Might proposed. “You’ve got enough on your plate already.”
“You’re the one to talk,” Shouta rolled his eyes.
All Might had already taken so much of his duties in the last month, sometimes Shouta felt inadequate. And unlike Shouta, his co-teacher didn’t have the same amount of experience, so it was taking him double the effort to keep up with the volume of work. Was this guy trying to work himself into a grave? Or was it possible that he didn’t care because he thought he had nothing to lose?
Shouta remembered Sir Nighteye’s words about predicting something horrible six years ago, about why he refused to look into people’s future anymore. And it happened the same time he and All Might split apart as a team. It was difficult not to jump to conclusions, difficult to have two and two and not to try putting them together.
But Shouta was nothing if not determined.
It was also possible All Might didn’t propose to take load off Shouta’s shoulders just to give him some extra nap time, or at least not only. The man needed to take his mind off his loss, the guilt which Shouta could imagine he felt for never trying to patch things up with Sir until it was too late. Shouta could understand it more than he cared to admit, and in a way it was another thing they had in common.
Strange, but the longer he knew All Might, the more common he could see between them. He’d never expected it.
“I’ll have plenty of opportunity to sleep in the hospital,” Shouta replied. “I’ll figure out my own homeroom, but you can join me for the period after that.”
All Might’s expression relaxed and he exhaled slowly. “Thank you,” he said very quietly.
***
The hospital where Eri stayed was a part of a medical university near the Hissaikai Compound which they raided a week prior. It meant that beside the usual doctors, patients and visitors, the place was often full of students going through their practice.
Most people were able to recognize Shouta by now. They never tried to stop him or ask what he was doing here. But today the receptionist was a new face, a boy who couldn’t have been older than eighteen, likely a first year college student. He stared at Shouta terrified, like he wasn’t sure if he needed to offer him medical help, or call the police.
Bringing his hand to his face, Shouta scratched his five days worth of stubble, which at this point was more of a beard. At least, he combed his hair this morning, so it shouldn’t have been that bad, shout it?
Not really wanting to explain himself, he flashed his hero license, and silently proceeded towards the elevators. The boy still seems unsure, but at least he didn’t try to stop him.
Eri’s room was on the fifth floor, and as he reached it, he saw the girl through the screen between the ward and the corridor. She was looking out of the window, watching the traffic below, her expression difficult to read. It was already dark outside, so it wasn’t much of a view, but she used to be held in a basement, so even little things like these must have felt exciting.
Knocking to announce his presence, Shouta slowly opened the door. Eri turned around and, as her eyes settled on him, for a second she looked worried. Remembering the reactions of the intern, Shouta mentally kicked himself for not spending extra few minutes on shaving before coming here. He worried that his thicker than usual facial hair scared her. Yet, as the recognition settled in the girl’s eyes, her posture relaxed.
Eri had seen real monsters, and one scruffy man couldn’t intimidate her with his appearance.
“Mr. Aizawa,” she nodded, sounding piqued, her gaze falling on the books in Shouta’s hands.
“Sorry, I couldn’t come earlier. Was very busy with some things,” Shouta apologized. He didn’t mention the funeral, because Eri still didn’t know about Sir Nighteye’s death. They would have to tell her eventually, because it was unfair to keep it from her, but not until the girl was in a state of mind where they could convince her it wasn’t her fault.
“Is that Guri and Gura?” She asked, still looking at the book?
“Yeah, you liked them last time, didn’t you?”
“Can we read the story where Guri and Gura find an egg and make a Castella cake for their friends?”
Shouta offered her a smile as unthreatening as he could muster. “Of course,” he replied, moving further into the ward and taking a seat on the bed next to Eri. Quickly finding the story she asked for in the contents, he opened the book on the right page, starting to read the text out loud, and letting Eri look at the pictures.
A children’s book about two mice was an appropriate reading material for her age group, but her reading and comprehension skills were underdeveloped. Not that many six-year-olds were fluent in kana, but she wasn’t able to recognize a single letter.
Nobody ever bothered to try teaching her reading, or worked on her mental development, because nobody ever considered her a person. The thought about it was making blood boil in Shouta’s veins, the same way it boiled every time she was flinching at sudden movements.
They’ve read the story once, then the second time, then once more. Shouta was slowly starting to feel like hurling the book through the window by the time Eri yawned soundly and laid down, placing her head on his lap.
“Bed time now?” Shouta asked, unable to stop himself from running his hand down the length of her hair, so soft like only children could have.
“Mmm,” she hummed sleepily. “Mr. Aizawa, does Castella cake taste as sweet as apples?” she asked, and Shouta’s hand stilled.
“Uh, yeah, I guess so,” he replied, feeling at a loss of words.
“I hope I will try it some—“ she started to whisper, but never finished the sentence, her breathing becoming even, deep as she fell asleep.
They couldn’t continue keeping her in the hospital, conditions here simply weren’t suitable for a child. Not to mention she needed training to control her Quirk, so she could be successfully integrated into society. So she could be given into a family that would care for her, with parents that would love her and bake any cake she wanted, give her as many apples as she could eat.
A thought about it made Shouta’s heart ache. A distant memory of a small kitten, abandoned and scared as it was calling for help, flooded his head. It had been raining that day, and Shouta stood there looking at it from under the edge of his umbrella. Taking care of a cat was a lot of responsibility. Not only it needed to be fed, but toilet trained, taken to a vet, played with, and Shouta had school, and so he’d walked away.*
He hadn’t been able to help a single kitten, how could he think he could...
Stopping the thought before it was able to fully form, Shouta sighed and closed his eyes.
***
The end of the first October week became chillier, but the sky was still clear and blue, and the sun was pleasantly warming Shouta’s black outfit. His capture weapon was wrapped around his shoulders and neck, protecting him from the autumn breeze as he made his way to the closest to the college department store.
He needed a few things here for himself, like some new socks that wouldn’t have holes in them, and some more jelly nutrient packs to keep him going through the day. Then he was planning to get a few extra low sugar protein bars, which he’d secretly continue to sneak onto All Might’s desk. In the last few days, Shouta noticed that if he was the one giving him food items, All Might was always eating them. And if Shouta was still unable to thank the man with words, he would try doing nice things for him instead.
As he was getting his own socks (an economy pack of plain black ones, which were all the same so he wouldn’t need to keep track of keeping them together), he decided to make some gifts for Hizashi and Nemuri.
No matter how much he protested or complained about them dragging him for outings, he was grateful for the company of both his best friends. For the past several weeks he didn’t have a single hour of free time to spend with them, and he felt really guilty about it.
And what a better gift there was for people in their thirties than socks? That, and plus Shouta was already here and didn’t want to spend anymore time thinking and looking for something different.
He found a pair of colorful socks with dancing pineapples for Hizashi, because he knew all of the guy’s socks were super weird, and he would love an addition to his collection. Then he found a pair of ridiculously fluffy blue socks for Nemuri, the kind that felt so soft it was like stuffing your foot into a cloud. For all her ridiculous public outfits, when she was at home and alone, she loved wearing comfortable things.
Then Shouta moved towards the confectionery department, finding himself facing an array of different cakes and candies. Locating Castella wasn’t particularly difficult, as it was one of the most popular desserts in the country, but now Shouta found himself facing a different dilemma. There were so many kinds of it. Plain and with honey, with chocolate frosting, with added vanilla extract. Even with some fruit and berries added into the dough.
Which one of them Eri would like the best?
“Aizawa!” he heard suddenly, the voice calling his name surprised but very familiar. He turned around and saw All Might standing behind him, smiling gently but looking somehow a little out of place, dressed in suit pants and a light blue button-down shirt that were both too big for his frame.
“What are you doing here?” Shouta asked, trying to sound like he was curious, but it came out as a criticism again. He didn’t like it, considering he had no right telling All Might where he could and couldn’t go.
“Uh,” All Might laughed a little awkwardly, before nodding at a small store basket in his hand, where Shouta could see several protein bars, exactly the same variety Shouta had in his own basket. “I’m grateful you gave me one to try, they still have some sugar, but not enough to make me sick.” Then he glanced behind Shouta’s back. “I can see you have a sweet tooth of your own.”
“Not really,” Shouta groaned in response, turning back to the sweets. “Eri said she’d never had cake before, so I wanted to get her some. She specifically wanted the one from the Guri and Gura book, but I’m unsure which one I should get. I’m thinking, the one with berries, because by definition it would have less carbohydrates and more fiber.”
“Ah,” All Might hummed in understanding, stepping close to the display, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Why not start with a plain one and buy some fresh berries to go with it? She’ll get more vitamins that way.”
Shouta nodded, All Might’s suggestion making a lot of sense to him. Very rational, in fact. “Yeah, I guess it’s a good idea. Thanks,” he offered.
“Glad I was able to help,” All Might replied. “I assume you’re going to the hospital today as well.”
“Right after I’ll drop some of this back at my room in the dorms,” Shouta nodded at the socks and his own snacks.
“Right, I should probably leave you to it then,” All Might nodded, smiling.
He started to smile a lot again, as if nothing bad had happened recently, as if he was fine. But Shouta could see through the pretense, through the brave face he was putting for the sake of everybody else. Somehow, he came to realize it looked so much like All Might’s hero smile. Was there really a time Shouta believed it was sincere?
He almost turned around and started to walk away, when Shouta called out, not entirely sure what he planned to do or say. “Umm,” he started anyway. “Would you... would you like to come with me?”
All Might raised an eyebrow at that. “Are you sure it would be ok?”
“Well, Eri soon will need to go outside, so it makes sense to slowly start exposing her to other people. Besides,” he added softer. “I’ve seen you play a villain for classes on multiple occasions now. You’ll be able to do voices in the books much better than me.”
All Might grinned at him. “All right then, let’s do it.”
They bought the cake and a box of mixed berries to go with it, and were almost ready to leave the store. On the way out, as they passed a clothing department, Shouta’s eyes landed on the children’s section, and a familiar design attracted his attention.
“Oh,” he grinned widely, feeling more excited than he ought to be, seeing black and white Ganriki Kittens on a green background. He had a shirt like that when he was a kid, and it was his favorite. It was getting colder day after day, so getting some warm clothes for Eri made sense, too.
She was going to love this sweater.
***
Shouta pondered when was the last time he got a full night of quality sleep, and was not able to remember the instance. It was likely why he also didn’t remember signing Midoriya’s leave permission slip. But apparently he did, and Midoriya had specifically mentioned why he needed to leave the school grounds. It just completely slipped Shouta’s mind.
Not that he was against the idea of the boy visiting Eri, far from it. In fact, he was happy Eri was able to spend more time with people she trusted. Moreover, Midoriya himself deserved seeing a person he saved getting better. It was just, somehow, he felt awkward being seen arriving at a hospital with All Might without an official reason for it. As if the moment the door opened, and the two of them walked in, greeted by a familiar mop of green hair, Shouta was caught red-handed at a scene of a crime.
As if Midoriya could somehow see that one night when Shouta had kissed his idol, mistakenly assuming All Might fancied him that way.
“Mr. Aizawa!” Midoriya smiled. Unlike the man he practically worshiped, the boy was smiling honestly. Although, it still was a little strained, because even in the short period of time he’d been a student at U.A., he’d seen too many bad things happening. Shouta couldn’t help but blame himself for some of it. Be he a better teacher, a better hero, he might’ve been able to protect his student better. “And All Might!” he added, his eyes immediately turning brighter.
And alright, he blamed All Might way more than himself for it. Not because he didn’t do enough, but because he encouraged recklessness.
“Young man!” All Might greeted him. “You’re here to see little Eri, too, I take it.”
“Yeah. I’m glad I stumbled on you, though,” he admitted. “Togata went to see his family for a few days, so I felt a little awkward being here alone. I just arrived myself.”
“Why won’t we continue talking on our way there?” Shouta proposed, because without his intervention, the two could just stand there in the middle of the waiting area exchanging pleasantries until evening.
Eri was happy to see them. She was a little weary of All Might at first, but the man had his way with children, and his warm personality won Eri’s heart almost instantly. Although, Shouta suspected, him carrying the cake gave the man an unfair advantage. But that was also a part of the Shouta’s plan, so he couldn’t complain.
It was a nice day, all and all, with most negative thoughts pushed away, forgotten. Shouta was almost glad for such a distraction but then realized that it wasn’t a distraction at all, but a reminder. Reminder that all their pain and losses were not in vain, that there was a reason they fought. To see a little's girl's eyes shine bright as she was given a fraction of what she deserved to have from the very beginning.
“That cake was delicious. Thank you,” Eri announced laying down on her bed, her tiny hands patting her belly in appreciation. It was a picture too adorable in Shouta’s eyes to process fully.
“Next time we sure will bring more,” Midoriya laughed.
“And apples, too?”
“And apples,” the boy promised. “And Lemillion will come. He was so very sorry he couldn't make it today.”
“It’s ok he couldn’t. He called me on the phone today.” Eri nodded, then looked at All Might. “Oh, Mr. Yagi! Will you come again, too? I liked how you read.”
It was surreal to hear her use his real name. Sometimes Shouta couldn’t even believe All Might had one, or that somebody would even consider calling him that. But Eri had been cut off from the real world her entire life, so she didn’t even know All Might the hero.
“If you want it, of course I will come to visit,” he replied.
Eri’s expression turned content at the promise. “Thank you,” she said sincerely. “I was always so lonely before I met you. But now I’m not, even if you can’t stay with me all the time, I don’t feel alone anymore.”
Shouta had to grit his teeth, his gut being wrenched by the confession. It seemed Midoriya was experiencing something similar, too, tears appearing in the boy’s eyes.
It was also the time something else clicked in his mind. Something he still wasn’t sure how to face — letting go of this child would hurt him.
All Might meanwhile smiled, and for the first time since his fight with All for One in Kamino Ward, this smile seems honest, not played for the sake of others, but coming from the heart. “Well, if that is the case, young lady, I’m going to come visit you as often as I can!”