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"-and I mean," James was saying, "we've been dating for long enough that you'd think the novelty would have worn off, y'know?"
"We're dating?" Sirius asked, not really looking up from where he was doing his homework. James was supposedly doing the same, but so far all he'd managed was unpacking his books, parchment, quills, and ink; he's spent the rest of the time complaining about his various housemates. "Since when? No offense Jamie, but the last time I checked, we're barely even friends."
"Yeah, and when was the last time you checked?" James asked in return, not overly bothered by Sirius's question.
"It's been a while since I had to think about it since it's so obvious."
"Uh-huh. That's why we, as complete and total not-friends, are doing our homework together in the library."
Sirius started to nod, but he stopped and glared when it was clear that James wasn't agreeing with him. He expected-- read: hoped-- that James would stop there, but he kept giving examples.
"It's also why we walk to our classes together."
"We have the same classes," Sirius grumbled. Them having the same classes had been a calculated attempt to optimize the time they could annoy each other.
"Yeah, that's why we hold hands and sometimes duck into empty corridors to snog. It totally explains why we go on dates every single Friday and sometimes have inter-House parties just so there's an excuse for us to get drunk and hang off each other when we're in public. It also explains why you got me chocolates for my birthday and kept sending me letters last summer."
"You... wrote me first," he muttered petulantly. "We're rivals, that's all."
James rolled his eyes, but it was completely fond instead of annoyed. That alone should've been enough for Sirius to realise he was wrong, but he kind of didn't want to give in now. Sure he'd been dating someone for over a year and not noticed, but he couldn't just admit that without James getting to tease him over it for the rest of their lives. That was hardly the first Sirius had thought of their relationship as lasting years into the future, but this was the first time he'd realised what it meant. Merlin, he really was an idiot. But he wasn't going to tell James that much. He had his image to think about, after all. "We're dating, Sirius, just admit it." The way James said it was nonjudgmental, but Sirius already had it in his head that he wasn't going to give in.
"Nope. Nothing to admit because we aren't."
James chuckled, expression more fond than ever. "Okay. Whatever helps you through the day, I suppose."
"As much fun as this was," Sirius said drolly, "I have to go spend time with my actual friends. Maybe you'll be able to get that essay for McGonagall done without me distracting you." Sirius shoved everything haphazardly into his bag and ran away.
He didn't have friends. James knew that. Which meant that now he had to go bother Regulus for a couple hours. James would probably guess that, but this whole thing was a matter of perception anyways. As long as Sirius didn't admit that that's what he was doing, it was fine. This was about saving face and- and... pretty much nothing else. Whatever.
Unsurprisingly, Regulus was not happy to see him. Surprisingly, when he was trying to get rid of him so that he could focus on his coursework, he said, "Can't you go bother your boyfriend instead of me?"
Regulus had never called James his boyfriend before. He knew that for a fact, because otherwise he would've been having this entire crisis earlier. Also because if Regulus had told him, then he wouldn't be trying to pretend like they weren't to James's face right now. "Since when is he my boyfriend?"
"Isn't he?" Regulus asked, forehead scrunched as he looked over his book at him. "I thought I'd seen you holding hands last week."
Last week... right, when Sirius had done it as part of joke, but it had felt nice so he didn't let go as soon as he might have under normal circumstances. "You did."
"Then why are you asking me about when you got together? Which, I can't believe you didn't tell me. Not telling me when you started shagging is perfectly fine because I don't want to hear about that, but dating? I'm your only friend, and you didn't tell me. No wonder you're so grumpy all the time; you never gossip."
"You're not my only friend," Sirius lied. "You're just my best friend." And they gossiped together plenty. Most of it was family drama but still.
Regulus, who knew perfectly well that he was his brother's only friend, scoffed. "Right. Why don't you go bother some of your lesser friends so that your best friend doesn't fail his classes?"
"You're not going to fail anything, you dramatic little bugger."
"Go away," he said, hunching down so that all Sirius could see over the top of his book were a few strands of black hair.
Since Sirius didn't actually want him to have issues in his classes, he left, but not without ruffling Regulus's hair to piss him off. If Reg wasn't going to support him in this, then he should double down. Get James something really nice to say that he acknowledged they were together and he liked it.
"So not that I'm complaining," James started out, his words carefully chosen and his tone measured, "but is there a purpose to the entire garden that is now taking up my dormitory? Or the three necklaces? Or the twenty different boxes of chocolates?"
Sirius blinked. "Too much?" he guessed.
"A tad."
"Hmph." Sirius had only meant to get him like, two of those things, but he didn't want to get him the wrong gift. At first, he bought James yellow tulips because he'd heard James saw they were pretty before. Then he'd added on red roses because James was a romantic, and red roses equaled romance. Then he'd seen blue hyacinths and added them on, and with three different colors and none of them being certain, it had felt safer to do a full rainbow or varieties.
After all that confusion, he'd felt like he had to get him something else since none of the bouquets were guaranteed to be his favourite. The first necklace he'd chosen was red and gold, but it occurred to him that he didn't know if that was James's actual colour preference or if it was because he was in Gryffindor. Sirius added on a silver band in case he didn't like gold, then he did a necklace all in black because fuck it, if he didn't know what James would like, he was at least going to get him something that Sirius would like to see on him.
He was pretty sure that there weren't twenty boxes of chocolates. It should've been more like a dozen. Because he didn't know if James would like the flowers or any of the necklaces, but everyone liked chocolates. Unfortunately, he had no idea what James's favourite was for that either, so he'd snuck out to Honeydukes to place an order. Browsing the shelves did him no good, so he'd shoved a handful of galleons at the person behind the counter and asked for them to send as many to James's room as that money would buy, preferably in a variety of their most popular products.
"It's not a bad thing," James tried, but Sirius just glared at him. James cracked a smile, sitting down next to him. "What happened to denying that we're dating? I thought that was pretty entertaining for the whole minute that it lasted."
"Yeah, well when Regulus thought we were dating too, I figured I should give you something to let you know that I like that I'm dating you."
"One bouquet would've done that."
"I didn't know which kind were your favourites," he muttered petulantly.
"I like all flowers," he said immediately. "Anything they sell at a florist, I will like."
"Hmph," Sirius said again. "Which necklace did you like?"
"All of them."
Sirius had to wrestle down the urge to hit him with a Stinging Hex. "Which one did you like best?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes."
James leaned over and kissed his cheek, then coaxed him into a real kiss. "I love them all. Fair warning, I'm sharing the chocolates with my dorm mates so they don't riot."
"Fine."
"Aw, do you not like me sharing your gifts?"
He didn't much care one way or the other, so he kissed James again. "Shut it."
Clearly, James took that as a yes to his question, because he grinned. "Aw, sweetheart, it's like-"
"Shut it," he said again, and this time he made the kiss long enough that James would have to put his brain back together if he wanted to tease him.