Work Text:
Losers Club 2.0
[14:52] Stan Who needs snitches for stitches when bitches with twitches do just as well?
[15:21] Ben I understand the words, but the context is just inherently baffling.
[15:23] Patty [staner.jpeg]
[15:23] Patty ‘Wish you were here…’
[15:24] Ben I’m okay, actually, but thanks.
[15:39] Bill Is no one going to…?
[15:39] Bill Really?
[15:40] Bill Okay, fine, what happened?
[15:41] Richie i like the thumbs up paired with the sheer amount of blood on his shirt.
[15:43] Patty THanks.
[15:44] Patty You’re my Best friend. ALwys giving me a laugh.
[15:46] Richie … got you on the good stuff, eh buddy?
[15:46] Richie give Patty back her phone before you type something you regret.
[15:48] Patty PAPERWORK> I took the phone
[15:50] Patty Hello this is voice to text which is very helpful period Patty my baby love almost killed me and she is the light of my life but i need to be checked for internal damage.
[15:51] Bill Jesus Christ, what happened?
[15:56] Patty It was a gardening mistake - he’s being taken in for some scans, but everything should be fine. I’ll call when he’s out.
[15:57] Bill You know, if you wanted to kill him there’s a few ways that would look less suspicious than a ‘gardening mistake’.
Patty left the chat
[16:02] Richie amazing.
[16:47] Audra a spider-clown couldn’t kill him, but his wife almost sure did
[16:48] Audra she’s living on a higher level than the rest of us combined
[16:49] Mike She’s my hero.
[16:50] Richie like.
Eddie
Hey, buddy, you doing okay?
Stan
I’m fine enough. Have to take it easy for the next couple of weeks, but I’m also on some pain meds so the pain is dull.
Eddie
You need anything? I can’t get to Georgia right now, but I can have something two-day delivered off of Amazon for you.
Stan
Can something from Amazon get Patty to stop feeling guilty?
Eddie
I got her a copy of ‘Women Who Kill’ by Carol Anne Davis.
Should be delivered by Tuesday at the latest.
Stan
Hey, Eddie?
Eddie
Yeah, what’s up, bro?
Stan
Go fuck yourself.
Eddie
I included a subscription to ‘Better Homes and Gardens’ for a year as well.
Stan
I am going to delete you off of my contacts and hope to turtle god that I forget about you for another two decades.
Eddie
If you try that I’ll go to Atlanta and fuck your wife.
Stan
What.
Stan
I am somehow both speechless and still typing this to call your bluff.
Eddie
You’re right.
Eddie
I’ll get Richie to do it and watch.
Stan
Stop making him laugh, he’s going to pull something.
Stan
By the by, you know where we live if the offer is legitimate.
Eddie
Hello Patty, and no thank you - sorry about almost bursting Stan’s stitches.
Stan
It’s fine.
Stan
Tell Richie I said ‘hi ;)’.
Eddie
Wink emoji included?
Stan
I can’t believe that’s a question you felt you needed to ask.
Eddie
Fair enough.
Audra H. Phillips Denbrough ✓ @audraaaden When the director’s on set and you have to be on your best behaviour [nofunallowed.jpg].
Bill H. Denbrough ✓ @billdenbrough58 When you’re the director of a movie and your two leads keep goofing off during a pivotal scene. [rhonygotosleep.gif].
Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✓ @thefakerichietozier when you’re trapped between two opposing forces and either one of them could conceivebly murder you in your sleep. #iamnotthedriod
l o v e l y b o n e s @littlecreepiesheebiejeebies hey @audraaaden @billdenbrough58 whats with the new ‘H.’ in your names?
@stantheman @thefakerichietozier @marshfashions & 369 other users liked this tweet
Janice L. @hawks12121212 r u guys still on location @thefakerichietozier58 or did i see a doppelganger at the tribal pot shop?
Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✓ @thefakerichietozier that was most probably me and I’m sorry you had to see me looking like that @hawks12121212.
prostitution 💄 whore @stealingkimshouse quick question @billdenbrough28: your housewives usage???
@billdenbrough58 replied to @stealingkimshouse
Not actually a question, but THAT’S MY OPINION.
kickingnamesandtakingass @johnniecomelightly just putting this out into the ether; does anyone else feel like bill denbrough just dropped like fifty notches? I mean, shitty reality tv?
Sequim General Market @sequimgeneralmkt Today we got a very special visitor to our store, and she kindly agreed to take a photo with Katherine. [audradenbrough.jpeg] Thank you for coming in and we hope you enjoyed Sequim!
here comes the sun (do do do do) @lindseemeyers You’ll get more traction on the post if you tag Audra Denbrough in your tweet @sequimgeneralmkt.
Sequim General Market @sequimgeneralmkt No matter how hard you try @lindseemeyers this will never be another Forks.
🗡🗡🗡 @nightbreed86540 @johnniecomelightly i agree with you completely.
Rich
[imissyou_blink182.mp3]
Eddie
Of all the songs in the world.
Of all the songs you could have chosen.
And you go with Blink182.
Rich
Blink-182
[letsdancetojoydivision_thewombats.mp3]
[loveyoulikealovesong_selenagomez.mp3]
[callitwhatyouwant_taylorswift.mp3]
Eddie
Do you want me to fly up for the weekend?
Rich
only two more weeks so it’s whatever.
unless you wanted to come up.
it’s pretty if you like forest & rain & pick up trucks.
Eddie
I’ll see you in two weeks.
Rich
[...]
Read at 19:43
Eddie
You better not have just left me on read.
Rich
oh my god you maniac - i love you, call me in like an hour.
Eddie
[...]
Read at 19:46
Losers Club 2.0
[22:51] Mike Florida is overrated - I am now going to travel across the country in a car.
[22:51] Mike Maybe get a dog and bring it along with me.
[22:52] Bill Very Americana of you.
[22:53] Patty Stop in Atlanta or suffer the consequences.
[22:54] Patty I miss you from the last time you visited!
[22:55] Ben Go back up north and come to the city.
[22:56] Eddie Southern route, come to LA.
[22:58] Mike This is feeling very ‘who do you love more?’
[22:58] Mike I’m going to climb a mountain instead. Denali here I come.
[23:02] Audra can i come along?
[23:04] Mike Yes.
[23:05] Mike Bill is also welcome along.
[23:05] Bill No thank you.
[23:07] Stan That was an easy game of ‘who does Mike love most?’
[23:08] Bev Not even a competition wow.
[23:11] Mike I love all of you and you’re all special in your own way.
[23:13] Richie thanks, PBS.
[23:14] Mike Silly creatures say ‘you’re welcome’.
[23:16] Richie deep dive, Mikey, took me a second for that one.
[23:17] Mike :)
Eddie Kaspbrak ✓ @eddiek Finally had the time to sort everything out. [clean04.jpg]
@thefakerichietozier replied to @eddiek
babe, like half of my clothing is gone???
Eddie Kaspbrak ✓ @eddiek Got almost two full bags worth of clothing to donate here - not that anyone would really wear this stuff. [clean02.jpg]
@audraaaden @thefakerichietozier @mikehanlon & 671 other users liked this tweet
Bev
Hey, i have a show in la next month and figured i’d stay with the 2 of you.
Eddie
Sounds good--there anything in particular you need/want to do there?
Richie
what’s the show?
Bev
My wedding line.
Eddie
Her wedding line.
Richie
jesus sorry, no need for the gang up.
and i’m pointedly not making the joke i could be right now.
Eddie
[...]
So, Bev, anything in particular you want/need to do while in LA?
Bev
Not really but ill let you know
Eddie
:)
Bill H. Denbrough ✓ @billdenbrough58 Tonight my wife saved me from one of the animals I loathe the most: raccoons. Thank you @audraaaden, this is why animal attacks were in my wedding vows.
Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✓ @thefakerichitozier :( @billdenbrough58
I… Am a Librarian @mikehanlon Coyotes are worse @billdenbrough58, but I understand the rabid ferocity of raccoons.
Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✓ @thefakerichietozier :(( @mikehanlon
Stanley 🐢 Uris @stantheman This reminds me of our childhood in the best of ways @thefakerichietozier.
is mayonnaise an instrument? @richardtozierd i now understand why @thefakerichietozier became a comedian. only way to cope with friends like those.
@snohomishjen replied to @richardtozierd
liek if u cri everytiem
Page Six ✓ @PageSix Designer Beverly Marsh’s @marshfashions new husband seen cavorting with unidentified woman in front of popular NYC restaurant. [caught951.jpeg]. Problems at home already? Considering Marsh’s previous quick divorce…
5,828 users liked this tweet
Losers Club 2.0
[22:47] Eddie I spend an entire day traveling up to Bumfuck, WA and all I find when I get there is Rich passed out on a rental apartment bed.
[22:48] Eddie [dumbass095.jpg]
[22:49] Audra we should do bkfst tomorrow - i found a gr8 cafe in a little town like 20 miles away.
[22:50] Bill Couldn’t wait another two weeks?
[22:53] Bill He’s gone…
[22:54] Bill But on another, completely unrelated note, did anyone else see the Page Six article about Ben and Bev? [tinyurl.com/hg70j]
[22:56] Ben They figured out the deadly secret that I sometimes have lunch with my CFO.
[22:59] Mike Absolutely sensational news.
[23:01] Patty The scandal of it all.
[23:02] Bev How could you do this to me
[23:03] Bill Question Mark.
[23:04] Ben I’m sorry, Beverly, sometimes lunch is necessary.
[23:05] Ben A man has dietary needs, and even the strongest man could not argue with potato knish.
[23:06] Stan I don’t know if I could forgive him--seems like a lackluster apology.
[23:07] Bev Potato betrayal.
[23:07] Bev From my own husband.
Bev has removed Ben from the chat
[23:08] Mike Since when is Bev a mod?
[23:09] Audra you created the chat????
Eddie Kaspbrak ✓ @eddiek I travel eight and a half hours to visit @thefakerichietozier and all I get is rain and this engagement ring. [img_2764.jpg]
Richie “Trash Raccoon” ✓ Tozier @thefakerichietozier next time I’ll try and snag you a Justice League first edition @eddiek
@eddiek replied to @thefakerichietozier
That’s okay, it’s the thought that counts