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I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
I'll make you so sure about it
It had happened so quickly. One minute, Killian had been fine; walking beside her through the forest and cracking innuendos. Since the ice cave, she found herself smiling more easily, finding comfort in the familiarity of him beside her.
And then the Snow Queen was there, casting shards of icy glass at them and Killian moved instantly, throwing himself in front of her and shielding her with his body. Idiot pirate, she was the Savior, she had magic, he wasn’t immortal anymore. All those thoughts ran through her mind as her magic poofed them away, landing them in the middle of the ambulance bay at the hospital. Killian was a limp, dead weight in her arms. Lifting her hand, she saw it was covered in red blood.
Whale told her that she was lucky, they were lucky. The shards had abraded Killian’s back and the force of her magic had rendered him unconscious. That he was fine, would be just fine. But when Emma came to his bed side and took his hand, something wasn’t right. His eyes looked glassy, almost as if he had been drinking. And within minutes, he’d pulled his hand away, claiming to be tired, telling her to go see her parents. Emma thought he was joking until he rolled to his side, facing away from her.
If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me
It had only gotten worse. Within days, gone were the modern clothes he had been so excited to surprise her with. Back in their place were his leathers, but even there, things were different. He was armed to the teeth with weapons she hadn’t even known he still had. And the way he walked…Emma had once gone to a wild animal park as a kid for someone’s birthday, and had watched the way the lion stalked back and forth in front of the glass, watching the antelope it could see on the other side. This man, this version of him she had never met, walked like a predator.
She tried to find him, to speak to him, but he blew her off, or avoided her. He even began avoiding the docks, seeming to know she would seek him out there. Emma suspected that he was in the woods most of the time, away from Robin’s camp. And the lost lonely girl in her hurt, because now, when she had finally, finally been ready to open up, to let him in, he had left her. Oh, he was still physically around town, but Killian, her Killian was gone. This was Hook, only darker. Harder.
She tried to shrug it off, tried to focus on other things. But her control of her magic was slipping, despite Elsa and Regina’s best efforts. She wasn’t sleeping, was hardly eating. She could see the concern in her parents’ eyes, but they seemed, if possible, more confused than she was. Instead, Emma dug within herself to that pile of rocks and gravel, and slowly, ever so slowly, she started to put the wall back up, twice as thick and three times as high.
Then he had been cruel to Henry. Her sweet, gentle kid had seen him on the street and had run after him, asking if he was coming to dinner at the loft, if he wanted to come early to play video games. The man who wore her beloved’s face simply looked at the young man and said, “Well, that would be a bloody waste of my time.” And then pushed past him, leaving Henry standing there. And she had snapped. Storming across the street, she had grabbed his arm, spinning him and slamming him into the wall.
“Whatever I did, Hook,” she said, her voice a growl. “However I pissed you off, you do not take it out on him. You don’t come near him. Do you understand me?”
And his lips had curled into a vicious smile. “As you wish, Swan.” It would have hurt less if he had buried his hook in her heart.
God only knows what I’d be without you
He stood at the blond witch’s side, his face a mask of something beyond indifference, something closer to hatred as she faced the woman. And what Emma felt was numb. Her heart was frozen, along with the town, as the Snow Queen stood, holding a jagged shard to Henry’s throat. Her son looked so scared, and around her, everyone else was frozen where they stood. She closed her eyes for a long moment, knowing that to have any hope of defeating her, she needed to use her magic. She needed to feel something.
“Come on, Swan, we haven’t got all day.” His voice was cruel, but instead of leaving her cold, it ignited the heat inside of her.
“I loved you.” Her voice was a harsh whisper, but the forest was dead silent, so it carried. “I let you into my life, into my heart. I let you into my family, near my son, and this is how you repay me?”
“Not my fault you’re a fool, darling.” And there was the rage, the anger, the hurt…and beneath it all, the love she had felt, did feel, all of it burning inside her.
Emma’s hand shot out, all of the force of her will focused on the Snow Queen’s wicked glass knife. And then it was in her hand, her blood running down it where its sharp edges shredded into her palm, a small, separate shard stuck in her thumb. Her mind barely registered Hook sinking to his knees, his hand over his heart.
“Run, Henry.” Her voice was almost otherworldly as it commanded the boy. Henry did as she asked, taking off through the trees, leaving the two women circling each other. “This ends.”
“You’re not powerful enough.” The Snow Queen’s voice was almost hypnotic. “After all, your family is frozen. Your friends are frozen. I’ve turned your pirate’s heart from you, and when I’ve killed you, I’ll take your son. He’ll be my pet.”
A groan from the ground drew their attention as Hook looked at her. No, not Hook…. Killian’s eyes were wide and clear, filled with anguish and regret and love. “Emma.” She could see the red dripping through his fingers, coating his rings. “I’m sorry, love.”
And then everything burned bright and white hot, and suddenly, where the Snow Queen had stood there was a glass statue of a woman.
Emma dropped the broken shards of the dagger and stumbled over to him as she heard movement behind her.
“Killian.” Her arms came up, her unharmed hand pressing her his chest. His face was pale, and a small trickle of blood appeared at the corner of his mouth. “No. No!”
“I’m sorry, love.” She could feel him fading, feel the life slipping from him. It hurt. God it hurt. “At least…I got to see you…one last…time.”
And then his eyes slid shut. “NO!”
“Mom!” Henry was standing beside her, eyes wide. “Mom, you can save him. Kiss him.”
“Henry.” Her voice was rough with tears. She had been so angry with the pirate, so hurt by him. Had put her walls back up, and let go of it all. “I can’t.”
“He’s not Dad.” Henry’s hand was on her shoulder, squeezing. “He’s not Walsh. He loves you. He wouldn’t have left you if she hadn’t cursed him. But if you don’t try, Mom, he’s never coming back.”
Emma looked into the pale face with the scruffy beard. He looked so young, his face slack under her fingers, her blood vivid against his check. She had to try. If she didn’t, then what was the point of being the Savior?
“Please.” Her gutted whisper breathed against his cheek, she leaned in and pressed her lips to his.
It wasn’t like it had been with Henry. That had been fast, a burst of magic and energy and light. This was slow, a welling inside her life a spring, moving through her. She felt magic, her’s and something more, dancing across her nerves, lifting her hair strand by strand, flowing through her like a conduit and into him.
And then he gasped and his arm came up and around her, tightening fiercely. “I’m sorry, Emma, so sorry, love, I’m sorry.”
“Shhh.” She whispered it, her lips moving to his ear. “It’s going to be all right.”
God only knows what I’d be without you
Later, she finds him at the docks after the celebration has begun at Granny’s. Mother Superior has healed her hand and she’s changed clothes, her blood stained shirt thrown into the trash. She has left Henry with Regina and her parents and come to find him.
He’s wearing his new clothes again, his jacket zipped slightly against the chill breeze. Storybrooke is thawing, but it will take time. Even with magic, most wounds do.
She sits beside him on the bench and after a moment, takes his hand, feeling him tense.
“It wasn’t your fault.” Her voice is still hoarse, from the emotions of the day, from all the energy used saving him and her and the town again.
“I should have fought it.” His voice is whiskey and gravel. “I could feel it, and I tried, but…I should have tried harder. I failed you, love.”
“And I failed you.” He looks at her, startled. “I should have realized that it was magic and not…. I should have known that wasn’t really you. I should have kissed you sooner.”
Killian is starring at her like a drowning man at a dinghy. “I am so in love with you, Swan.”
“And I nearly didn’t kiss you. Because I’m emotionally fucked up and scarred.” She took a breath. “But I love you too. And I want to really try. I want to see if being True Love is everything the stories and the songs say. But only if you still want that.”
“Emma.” His body has turned, folding around her like that night in the loft when she had nearly died in the ice cave. “Would you do me the great honor of going on a date with me?”
“Yes.” She stood then, and took his hand. “But first, we should go to Granny’s. Let everyone know we’re okay.”
“As you wish, love.” He paused, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “As you wish.”