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you're losing control

Summary:

Written for the Magicatra AU! Scorned ex-Force Captain Adora has captured Catra and confiscated her Magicat helmet in the Crimson Wastes. Adora's surprising offer tempts Catra to question her status as She-Ra, role in the rebellion, and concept of home.

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"Love me, leave me, let me go
I’m out of my mind
You’re losing control
Love me, hate me, now we know
You’re out of my mind, you’re losing control"

- You're Losing Control, Fever Joy


"Oh, Catra," Adora murmurs, leaning down to meet her prisoner's eyes. She furrows her brows, gaze lowering to the hastily-bandaged gash on her shoulder. "They hurt you, didn't they?"

Catra scowls and turns her head away. "Under your orders," she spits. "How did you even get here in the first place? I thought you were Hordak's Second-in-Command now."

Adora's expression darkens as she rises to her feet. "I made a mistake," she says slowly. "I... lost Hordak's trust."

Catra snorts. "You made a mistake?"

"It was Shadow Weaver. I told Hordak that I sent her to Beast Island, but she'd actually escaped. It was all my fault. It won't happen again."

Even with her personal opinion of the sorceress, Catra can imagine how the betrayal must have stung. "She came to Bright Moon, you know."

Adora inhales sharply. "She did?"

"It sucks. I can't believe she's one of the good guys, while you're..."

Adora raises an eyebrow. "The bad guy?"

"Well, yeah, Adora, you do have me tied to a pole. Your lackeys are probably pawning off my helmet as we speak."

Adora shakes her head and reveals the Magicat relic from behind her back. "Do you ever get tired of being wrong?"

“I’m always tired,” Catra quips. 

At a loss for words, Adora begins to pace around the room. Catra recognizes this behavior from their most stressful days in the Horde.  "How many times do I have to tell you, Catra?" she exclaims. "I’m not your enemy!"

"Tied. To. A. Pole."

Adora groans, clutching at her own messy hair. "I would free you, if you'd just agree to come home!"

Catra stares at the ground, recalling fantasies of leaving this all behind. She’s ashamed to admit that she’s tempted, has always been tempted, by Adora’s outstretched hand.

"The Horde isn't my home anymore,” Catra breathes. “It never really was."

Adora crouches to Catra's level, staring straight into her mismatched eyes. "We can make it your home. Our home."

"Wh...what are you talking about?"

The blonde slowly reaches out a hand, hesitating to invade the prisoner’s space. After a moment's hesitation, Catra nods. Adora tucks away her bangs, freed from the Magicat’s headband, and gently cups her face. 

"If we bring Hordak She-Ra's helmet,” Adora says, “he'll put us at the very top. He’ll have no choice.” 

Catra swallows loudly. “Really?”

“We can rule together, Catra. Just like we always planned."

Catra closes her eyes, reluctantly releasing a low purr. "If Hordak opens the portal," she explains, "Etheria will leave Despondos. My mother died to get us here. It'll have been for nothing."

"Your mother, the rogue Magicat?"

Catra nods as the purr dies in her throat. "She abandoned me. Dumped me as an infant in the Horde and martyred herself."

Adora’s face is painfully sympathetic. “Oh, Catra,” she says quietly, reverentially.

“Everything I thought I knew about She-Ra and the Magicats was wrong. They've been manipulating me this whole time."

Adora scratches behind Catra's ear, seemingly deep in thought. Despite everything they've done to hurt each other in the past few months, the tenderness in her touch is unmistakable.

Oh, screw it. Catra leans into her palm and cherishes the feeling of home.

She doesn't owe the Magicats anything. Not anymore.

But.

She pictures Glimmer, Bow, and the rest of the Princess Rebellion. Even under her and Adora's leadership, she knows that the horde would crush them all.

"Catra," Adora whispers, "let me take care of you. Please just come home."

A tear runs down Catra's face as she avoids Adora's gaze. "I can’t," she says. "I won’t. I know you want to protect me, in your own messed up way, and i lo - appreciate you for it... but i don't need you to take care of me anymore. I'm strong, Adora, stronger than I’ve ever been. And when I’m in trouble, I know that my friends have my back. If I can't stop you, they will."

Adora releases Catra’s face and rises above her prisoner. She winces at the blonde’s dark expression, already missing her touch. 

"You've always needed me, Catra,” Adora says coldly. “It sounds like you need these new friends, too. Do you seriously think you could manage all on your own?"

A few months ago, that question would have shaken Catra to her core. Today, she just rolls her eyes. "Like you're managing so well, Force Captain . Tell me, how’d Hordak discover your mistake? Did Lonnie narc for an extra ration bar? Were you forced to confide in Kyle now that I’m gone?"

"Shut up ," Adora warns between gritted teeth.

"Make me,” Catra hisses.

"Uh, hey? Boss?”

Adora jumps at her lackey’s sudden presence. The lizard-person stands awkwardly in the doorway, witness to whatever was just about to happen. 

"I told you," Adora groans, "it's Captain , not Boss."

"Yeah, okay, Captain. Scorpia wants me to tell you that Hordak's sending a retrieval squad for the ship and the prisoner."

Catra can’t help but stop her ears from perking up. If she’s getting relocated, she might be able to escape.

Adora nods stiffly and passes the helmet to her lackey. "Make sure no one damages it," she threatens, pressing her staff to their chest. "I'll handle the prisoner myself."

The lackey nods nervously and awaits further instructions. Adora releases another groan and pinches the bridge of her nose. “Please get out.” 

"Oh!" the lackey exclaims, gladly high-tailing it out of the room.

Adora rolls her eyes, disarms her staff, and turns back to face catra. "Offer still stands, Princess."

“Bite me.”

“I’m bringing you and your helmet to Hordak,” Adora says steadily. “He’ll use your magic to open the portal, take us out of Despondos or whatever you said, and then I’ll be back where I belong.” 

“Congrats,” Catra responds. “What about me?” 

 Adora lowers herself a final time, wearing a pitying expression as she regards her prisoner. “You’ll be where you belong, too,” she says, untucking the hair from behind Catra’s ear. Without her headband it covers her face in a thick curtain, tickling her cheeks and her nose. It’s far from torture, but with her arms bound there’s nothing she can do. 

Adora clearly notices her discomfort. “I have to debrief with Scorpia,” she says, standing up and heading towards the door. “But I’ll be back… I promise.”

Catra can hear it in her voice, something dark and possessive that she’s only glimpsed before. One time, back in the Horde, she heard a rumor that Rogelio liked Catra and proceeded to stalk him for the next week.

It made Catra feel pretty bad for Rogelio at the time, especially since she was the one who spread the rumor in the first place. It was all just part of a dumb trick on Kyle, who she knew had feelings for the lizardlike cadet. 

When they were fourteen she had relished Adora’s devoted, vicious protection… but now, at twenty, it was almost an insult. Even as her enemy now, Adora wants to protect Catra… no, control her. 

Catra blows the bangs out of her face and clears her throat. “Hey, Adora?”

Her captor pauses in the doorway. “What.”

“I’m sorry Shadow Weaver screwed you over.” 

Adora clenches a fist, refusing to turn around. “I don’t need your pity. I’m not her victim.” 

Catra exhales sharply, her body tensing within its restraints. “Where were you then, Adora, when I actually needed protecting?” 

Slowly, coldly, her captor gives her one final glance.

“I should have just gagged you from the start.”