Chapter Text
Shouto’s phone pings from his pocket as he sits down. He ignores it in favour of pulling out his laptop and sitting it on the small desk provided with each seat in the auditorium.
He sits near the back, not interested in being called upon to answer any of the professors questions.
His phone pings again and he reaches into his pocket to flick it onto silent mode.
He throws his bag on the seat next to him, saving it for Uraraka who will no doubt dart in ten seconds before the lecture, and sits back in his own. Most students have already found their seats and are chatting excitedly amongst their peers while others shuffle in with sinister expressions.
His phone buzzes in his pocket this time, then again, then one more time before he decides to check who on earth is spamming him at ten to nine on a Friday morning.
He thinks he already knows who it is.
He pulls his phone out anyway and sees thirteen new messages from his father. The first ten mention the upcoming holidays and how he’s looking forward to hearing about Shouto’s progress in his studies. The last three ask, each in a different way, why Shouto is ignoring his texts.
He quickly texts back with the excuse that he has classes before shutting his phone off again.
Before he can even breathe out a sigh, there’s three new messages on his lock screen. He throws the phone in his backpack, hoping the thick material will mask the vibrations of his own personal torture device.
It’s only when his phone is securely out of sight that he looks up to see a young man standing at the front of the room. He taps the microphone gently and clears his throat.
He’s blonde and lean in stature with a young face that makes him look more like a student than a professor. Shouto wonders if the school is lacking in funds.
“Is this working?” The young blonde asks, way too close to the microphone. The sound echoes around the room and he seems to notice his mistake as he pulls away from the microphone.
“I think that’s a yes.” He mutters nervously, laughing at himself. “Hi everyone, my name’s Denki Kaminari. Before anyone asks, no I’m not your lecturer for today.”
Thank god. Shouto thinks. He’d already begun contemplating the best escape route.
“I’m actually here for more important reasons.” Somehow he’s found the professors little clicker thing and he uses it to switch slides on the projector.
A basic looking PowerPoint appears and on the first slide in big, block letters are the words ‘I NEED A BOYFRIEND!’
Shouto scoffs to himself and admires the amount of aggression those words portray. He thinks he could have gone for a less intense font. Maybe helevicta?
The blonde carries on, unaware of the way Shouto silently judges his graphic design skills. “That’s right ladies and gentleman, I’m that desperate.” He uses the clicker again and the image switches to a photo of a large family. “This is a picture of my family. Nice, right? Wrong. You see, two years ago my sister -that’s her there- started a tradition where whoever came home for the holidays without a partner would be forced to sleep in the single bed in the basement. Now, you may not think that’s such a bad thing but let me show you something real quick.”
He clicks again and a photo of a dark, concrete room appears. For a moment, Shouto thinks he’s looking at a prison cell. “This is our basement.” The young man announces. “The last two years when I went home for Christmas, I spent my nights in this cold, dark, moist room.” His speech slows on each adjective, likely in an effort to gain empathy.
The slides switch again to a big, red circle with a line through it. “But no more will I be subjected to this kind of abuse. I have a plan, a plan to find a man who will accompany me to my family home and save me from this terrible fate.”
He leans his elbows against the lectern, gesturing to his audience who are all surprising still listening to this strange presentation. “At this point, if you’re still listening, you may be thinking ‘what’s in it for me?’. Well, I’d like to introduce you to my mother.” The screen changes again to photo of a woman wearing a familiar football jersey and throwing some kind of gang signs. “This woman makes the best pork crackling in our town. She also cooks a mean casserole and gives great gifts. If you agreed to this deal I am about to offer you, you will receive almost two weeks worth of free home cooked meals, at least one last minute Christmas present from my mother, ten nights accomodation in one of the upstairs rooms, and, honest to god if you want it, I’ll give you the best blowjob of your life.”
Shouto coughs at the last part in an effort to hide an inappropriately timed laugh.
“So please, help a bro out. If you’re interested text me at-“
There’s shuffling beside him and Shouto turns to find Uraraka shuffling along a row of seats to get to him “What did I just walk into?” She asks as she drops Shouto’s bag in his lap and falls into her seat.
Shouto pushes his bag onto the floor and frowns at her. “This guy’s offering a free blowjob to anyone willing to be his fake boyfriend over Christmas break.” He responds, completely deadpan.
“Sounds like a pretty good deal to me. You should hit him up.” She replies in much the same tone. Shouto hopes that means she’s joking.
“Yeah right.”
Her brows quirk judgementally and she side-eyes him as she pulls out a notebook and pen. “Are you saying you would rather spend the holidays at your dad’s?”
“Yes, actually, I would.” Shouto responds honestly, lifting his nose in the air as he crosses his arms over his chest.
“Come off it, Todoroki. I can literally feel your phone vibrating against my foot right now.” She leans over and begins fishing through his bag. Shouto feels the urge to slap her over the back of the head for touching his belongings but before he gets the chance, she’s sitting up again, phone in hand. “Shouto,” she reads brushing her hair back where it had fallen in her face. “I know you don’t have class until nine o’clock. Please respond to my earlier messages as it is important for me to know what time you will be arriving.”
She continues. “Shouto, please respond immediately, this is important.” The amused smirk on her face is not appreciated. “Then there’s just another 26 messages, probably about how urgent it is that you text him. And oh- look now he’s calling you.”
“Please don’t answer that.”
She hits the decline button and unlocks his phone, making her way to his contacts list without a single inch of respect for his privacy.
“What are you doing?” He leans over to try and see what she’s doing but is easily avoided.
“Being a good friend.” She responds, glancing up at the projected image of lecture crasher‘s phone number.
She hands his phone over, finally. On the screen is a phone number under the name ‘Free BJ.’
“You’re insane.”
“Maybe. Or maybe I’m a genius.”
-
“Todoroki!” Shouto turns at the sound of his name and finds Midoriya running towards him. The other man almost slams an unsuspecting girl into a display cabinet in his haste to catch up to him in the hallways. The girl throws him a dirty look and Midoriya shouts an apology over his shoulder, resulting in the boy whacking another student with his oversized backpack.
“Sorry, I’m so sorry.” Midoriya yelps but he does not slow his pace. “Todoroki, thank god I found you.” The boy bends over to catch his breath.
“Are you okay?” Shouto questions, leaning in to inspect Midoriya’s red, excerpted face. “You just nearly killed about three different people.”
“Fine. I’m fine-“ Midoriya waves him off, standing up straight now that he has somewhat caught his breath. “I’ve called you five times in the last fifteen minutes. Where’s your phone?”
Shouto grimaces both at the comment and at the group of boys who push past them like they’re not even there. “Sorry. I turned it off. The old man’s been spamming me.”
Midoriya winces at that before offering him a sympathetic look. “Already? Does he know you’re not leaving until tomorrow?”
“I’m sure he does. I’ve only told him about sixteen times.” He says sarcastically. “Anyway, what’s up? Why’d you call me so many times.”
“Oh, right, yeah.” He reaches into his backpack, pulling out his phone before going into a rant. “So flights, they’re pretty expensive, right? I mean a one way trip from here to Italy would cost around my entire life savings.”
“Right...”
Midoriya nods along with him. “Well, I was thinking about how it’s Christmas in two weeks and I still need to get Ochako a present...”
Shouto bites his lip hesitantly. “I feel like I know where this going, but I also feel like this is impossible.”
“It’s not.” His friend shouts in his excitement, gripping Shouto’s arm tightly in his unnaturally strong hands and causing some of the nearby students to glance in their direction. “Todoroki, I got the tickets.”
“How?”
“They were on sale.” He leans in like they’re sharing a secret and pinches his fingers together. “Eighty five percent off, Todoroki. Eighty five percent.”
Shouto gives him a long, hard look. “Izuku.” He says carefully. “You’ve been scammed.”
“No! I haven’t!” Midoriya’s eyes go so wide he looks almost crazed. “I thought it was a scam too so I looked into it more and called the company and everything. They’re completely legitimate. Todoroki, we are going to Italy.”
“Holy shit.” Shouto takes a step backwards. “Uraraka is going to lose her mind.”
“I know!”
Shouto’s looks him dead in the eye, tone completely serious. “No, Izuku. She’s seriously going to have a heart attack.”
“Oh, well I hope things don’t get that serious but yeah, I think she’ll love it.”
A familiar voice appears from behind them and both boys flinch. “Who is she and what will she love?”
“What nothing?” Midoriya almost shouts in his efforts to appear unaffected.
“Nope. We didn’t say anything. You must be hearing things.”
Uraraka squints at them dubiously and takes a step closer, glancing over them for a long moment. “Okay. No need to act all suspicious..”
“Us? Suspicious?”
Midoriya waves his hand, leaning back in a way that is supposed to look laid back but really just makes him look high. “Psssh. Nothing weird going on here, we were just talking about... taxes and stuff.”
“Yeah.. taxes?” Shouto grimaces at the poor excuse.
Uraraka gazes at them suspiciously for a long, long moment. It’s so tense that both Shouto and Midoriya jump when she springs forward excitedly, her face lighting up with recognition. “You were talking about that guy from this morning!”
“Who?”
Shouto groans, already knowing where this is going. “This guy came into our lecture this morning, begging someone to be his fake boyfriend for the holidays.”
Midoriya’s eyes light up in much the same way as his girlfriend’s. “He was in my last lecture too!”
“Woah, really?” She jumps at him. “He must be desperate. Todoroki you have to text him straight away to secure your spot!”
Shouto scowls, brushing her hand away from where it had latched onto his arm. “Stop that.”
“Never! Todoroki this is the perfect opportunity for you.” She jumps up and down like she’s about to throw a tantrum. “Right Deku?”
“Uhhh... no. I’m with Todoroki here.”
“What?” Shouto asks, scandalised. Midoriya’s disagreeing with Uraraka? He didn’t even think that was a thing that could happened.
“WHAT!?” Uraraka screeches.
“Stranger danger, Ochako. That’s like.. rule number one of not getting dead.”
Uraraka swipes her hand through the air like she’s batting his words away. “Everyone’s a stranger at some point.”
Shouto is surprisingly shocked into silence by her response. How had he never realised that himself?
Midoriya’s head shakes aggressively. “That is not a good enough reason for him to go spend a two weeks with some random dude.”
“Is the fact that he’s low key attractive a good enough reason?” There’s a jabbing at his ribs and Shouto turns to discover its Uraraka’s skinny elbow.
“Definitely not.” Shouto responds.
“What about your dad?”
Shouto sighs again. That seems to be a common theme for him today. He’s just not enthusiastic about what’s awaiting him for the next two weeks.
“I can put up with him for two weeks.” He replies. However, as he voices the words, he finds himself unable to entirely believe them.
Two weeks in a house full of strangers doesn’t actually sound too bad when he compared the pair.
-
The final blow comes at nine o’clock that night. Shouto has just finished packing his bags for tomorrow’s trip when he receives a text from his sister.
He glances down at his phone as he pushes the clothes down so he can pull the zip around his suitcase.
Great news! The nurses have deemed Mum well enough to come home Christmas Day!
Shouto stares at the screen until it fades to black. He lets out a slow, steady breath and buries his head in his neatly packed clothes.
“Fuck.”
-
After an hour of pacing he finally picks up his phone and scrolls through his contacts.
He clicks the one at the top of his list and waits anxiously for it connect.
They pick up after one ring. “Hello?” A voice asks, sounding almost panicked. Shouto freezes, realising he hasn’t thought through what to say. “Uhh.. hello?” The voice comes again, sounding more suspicious this time.
“Hey,” he manages to say and he just hopes it doesn’t sound too awkward. “Is this...” he races through his memories of the morning’s events, looking for a name. “Kaminari?” He guesses.
“Yeah. Who’s this?”
Shouto gets up off his bed, pacing his room for what must be the hundredth time tonight. “Todoroki Shouto.” He responds. “You gave a speech in one of my classes this morning.. I was just wondering if your offer was still on the table.”
There’s a moment of silence and Shouto feels his heart drop, sure he’s missed his opportunity. “Yeah! Hell yeah!” Shouto pulls the phone back slightly so he doesn’t go deaf. “Wait, this isn’t another prank call, is it?”
“No. Strangely enough.”
He hears a long breath from the other side of the phone. “That’s good to hear. What’d you say your name was again?”
“Todoroki Shouto.”
“Todoroki. Cool.” He’s pretty sure the other boy smiles, judging by the tone of his voice. “Right, Okay. Well I was thinking of leaving around Midday. That’ll get us there around five o’clock. Are you cool with that?”
A five hour drive? Shouto hadn’t even considered the drive there. “Uhhh yeah.” He agrees, remembering the train wreck that would otherwise await him at his father’s house. “Midday. Got it. Where are we meeting?”
“I’ll text you the details.” He responds and there’s barely a moment of silence before he continues. “Man, thank you so much for this, I owe you big time.”
“No, you don’t owe me anything.” Shouto responds, remembering the boy’s offer from this morning.
Another long moment of silence passes between them and Shouto finds himself fidgeting with the stationary on his small desk.
“Okay, well I’ll text you the details and I’ll see you tomorrow I guess.”
“Yes, Okay.” Shouto responds. “Goodbye.” He says quickly before ending the call.
He throws his phone on the bed, feeling uncomfortable from the awkward conversation. He hopes the next two weeks aren’t as awkward.
Though he’s sure two weeks with a stranger couldn’t possibly be anymore awkward than Christmas Day with his own family.