Chapter Text
“Let me get two tequila sunrises extra sunny, if you wouldn’t mind darling”
Ben rolls his eyes as Poe begins to flirt with the bartender.
The only reason he showed up to the bar was because Poe wanted to discuss business between Resistance Inc. and FO industries. But Ben is starting to realize maybe that wasn’t Poe’s intentions after all.
As their bartender brings them their drinks and begins to scurry along to the other customers (of course not until giving Poe his phone number), does Ben raise an eyebrow at his old business partner, who in turn only responds with taking a sip of his drink.
“So Dameron are we going to talk about our joint stock or are we here to braid each other’s hair?”
Poe shakes his head and grins to himself as he put his drink down.
The nerve of this man, he may be one of the best campaign managers in the Resistance, but he never gets to the damn point, always with the I need to build the plot ben. Though Ben must admit he does give great motivational spe-
“in a rush to go see Rey, now are we?”
Ben tries and I mean tries not to flinch, but he can’t help it, his armor is falling off.
maybe the drink will come in handy
he takes a sip of the tangy liquid and fells it burn as It runs down.
Poe’s grin only grows, and he opens his mouth again, “hows it like, having the love of your life as your roommate and all?”
A scowl forms on his face but it doesn’t last long. His armor already fell, and he feels his ears turn pink under his hair.
“UghH spare me Poe” he takes another sip of his drink. The whatever juice compliments the alcohol nicely if you ask him.
Rey and Ben have been living together for almost a year and a half now.
People always say once you live with someone you see who they truly are.
Well ben, didn’t think he could love her more, and then they moved in together.
He did It purely out of selfishness. Hes perfectly financially stable and actually enjoys being alone. But, Rey, Rey had only started working part time at one of the many repairs shops his dad owned around the city. But now that his dad has passed away and left his shops to her about 6 months ago, she is practically capable of moving out and living on her own. But she didn’t. probably to comfort him though the loss of his father. Hes glad she stayed.
He loves living with her. Loves coming home to meals she made for them, loves cooking for them, loves finding little sticky notes around the apartment with positive scribble and doodles in her adorably messy handwriting. Loves getting mad at her for forgetting to put her clothes in the washer and it getting all humid. Loves when they have movie night, game night and really any night because he begins and ends his days with her. Maybe not in his arms but nonetheless, her. and he wouldn’t trade it, not for anything.
So yeah, hes a dumbass in love, and that isnt changing anytime soon. Because he just knows, knows its her. Rey’s the one.
For him at least.
He goes to take another sip of the whats-it-called and finds his drink empty.
“Hey, Poe, can you please get me a refill?”
Poe’s face scrunches up and he can tell his friend is worried, he brought him here so what does he expect?
But he knows the reasons behind Poe’s worries. Ben doesn’t drink more than one alcoholic beverage anytime he goes out. It’s just a habit he built after seeing his dad get unbelievably drunk and not being able to drive them home because of it.
Ben leans against the bar railing and ducks his head as he feels the warmth of the alcohol fester in his belly, he then decides he likes it.
He looks up and meets his colleagues, his friend’s eyes. “you know for someone who loves hearing himself talk you have been awfully quite.” Ben chuckles.
Poe on the other hand only gives an uneasy smirk and answers with, “it’s because I’m here to listen buddy.”
Ben looks down at his empty tall glass and works at his jaw. Aw what the hell.
“if I can get another drink I’ll be happy to talk”
Poe eyes him before giving in and calling the barista over once again.
Ben drinks this one down in two gulps and then immediately orders another one. He can tell Poe is struggling not to be concerned.
Then his words spill out before his fear can stop him.
“I’m in love with her.” it’s the first time hes said it aloud, making this even more real, “so unbelievably in love that it feels like I won’t ever be able to live in a world that shes not in.” He looks up at his company and Poe nods at him to continue, “So in love that id live with her dirty socks all over the floor and be happy to pick them up everyday”
“dude you hate dirty socks!”
“I know! I know. And it’s insane because I thought I was going to get over it and I was so fucking stupid, how could I get over it!” he inhales and buries his face in his palms to stifle a laugh, “yes I was alive without her, but with her I feel like I’m living, she feels like genuine sunlight in my gloomy ass life” he then shots his arms outwards towards Poe, “ Without her I wouldn’t have made friends with people from work.” Ben takes another sip of his drink. “I wouldn’t have felt the need to leave the apartment to go do something other than work. And I’m not saying it’s all because of her, but she helped me realize that just because I’m successful doesn’t mean I’m where I want to be.”
Poe orders them both another drink, clinging to every word Ben mutters.
“she drives me fucking crazy Poe” he runs his hands through his hair, “her smile, her laugh, the freckles on her face they dance in my dreams,” He shakes him head and smiles, “the silly physics jokes she makes that you can only understand after hearing her talk about thermodynamics for a whole evening, I want it all to myself. Just for me. Just me.”
Ben looks down at his glass and realizes this is probably about his 4th glass.
Neat.
Poe is slightly more sober, probably because hes just on his second glass.
“you should do it”
“do what”
“confess”
Ben snickers, then laughs, then laughs so hard he throws his head back and almost snorts because is this man insane?
“I can’t Poe, it’ll ruin everything, she’ll try to leave”
Leave me.
Again.
And Ben cannot risk that, cannot bear to feel that pain again. Cannot bare to stand there and hold his hand out to her once more only for her to tell him she can’t.
The day he did that he nearly lost his job, got into the worst fight of his life with his parents and Rey was there to witness it all. She was the only thing he could cling to in that moment. The only thing that hadn’t let him down yet. So, he held his hand out and asked her to stay, to fuck it all and just stay.
But she didn’t stay, and, in a sense, it was for his own good, because it gave him room to grow, to fix what he messed up and find his way back to her once again.
But hes not growing without her, not if he has a choice.
Hes about to call for a 5th drink when Poe stops him.
“dude you should just ask her out, or at least tell her how you feel”
“what part of her leaving don’t you understand?” he doesn’t mean to sound harsh, but he can’t help it.
Poe however is not deterred. “The way you described the things you feel for her physically made me unable to inhale without my chest glowing” both men then exchange a grin “ I mean c’mon man that’s like a whole cheesy song you can write” both men are both full on smiling dimples and all, but Poe’s eyes soften, “ and if what you say to her is as glowy as what you told me, how could she not give you a chance.”
Ben can’t stop thinking about seeing her dance barefoot in their kitchen, wearing one of his faded ‘knights of Ren’ t-shirts and her hair in a messy bun singing to this tooth rotting country song that describes her perfectly, how could she not see it?
That’s when Ben decides “yeahh you’re right Poe! I’ll call her right now!”
“Hell yeah!” Poe stands on the bar counter and yells “Hes gonna tell Rey he loves her!!” and the bar explodes into a fit of whistles and Hell yeah which is the final push Ben needs.
So, he picks up his phone and dials,
It rings
It rings
It rings
And then it hits voicemail
He goes into a silent drunk panic and before the phone hits the beep Poe mouths do something.
The whole bar is at a standstill, even the DJ turned the music down,
So he does the last coherent thought he had and starts singing “your day starts with a coffee and ends with a wine,” he thinks he can see Poe cringing encouragingly but he doesn’t care, his drunken mind is already in tow and its now getting high on her. The bar roars and the DJ seem to understand his drift and plays her song in the background so the bar can be his harmony, “ you take forever getting ready, so your never on time for anythinggg”. Rey took 3 hours getting ready for Rose and Armitage’s wedding because she didn’t think anything, she wore was good enough for her best friend’s wedding, Ben told her she looked good in anything. “when you get that ‘come get me’ look in your eyes,” a string of whistles and ooooohhhhh echo in the bar and Ben can’t help but smirk, “well it kind of scares me, the way that you drive me wild.” It finally hits him, the gravity of what hes doing, and maybe sober Ben will hate him for doing it this way, but drunk Ben thinks that Rey needs to know how she makes him mad, and this is the best way to do it.
“when you drive me wilddd”
“Beautiful, crazy, you can’t help but amaze me”, it’s true, it always has been and always will be, “the way that you dance , aint afraid to take a chance, and wears your heart on your sleeve,” Ben can always tell when Rey is upset or off. She used to try and hide it from him, but they always had this unspoken understanding, something that hes both enticed and confused by.
“yeah, your crazy but your crazy is beautiful to meeeeee” Rey went on a date with this douche bag once, his name was Snoke. He told Rey no one would love her because she was to headstrong, too hopeful, ‘too much’. Rey cried and cried saying that that date only made her feel like Plutt was right, no one would want her.
if only she knew Ben thought,
then he thought, well she will now.
As the song concluded and the bar applauded, he found himself laughing once again.
“Reeeeey,” Poe, supporting as ever gave hum a hazy thumbs up, “Rey,” he swallowed his mouth suddenly too dry, “my crazy, beautiful girl. The day we met I knew I would neverrrr be the same. I was such an asshole, and when you broke my nose” he chuckles, “ and then baked me an ‘ I’m sorry I broke your nose but you deserved it ‘ cake I was practically already on my kneeess for you!”
The bar was beginning to empty out, running out of time.
“I fell in love. with you. I am in love with you. I love you. Reyyyy, you make me breathe air not waterrr.”
Drunk Ben was worse at communicating than sober Ben, but at least he said it, he loved her.
He hung up after saying one last thing,
“I’m going to bake you a ‘sorryy I confessed my undying love for you at 4 am in a crowded barrrr’ cake’
Ben woke up in his own bed with hangover and his work alarm beeping.
This is another reason he doesn’t drink.
“shit,” he rolled over and turned off his alarm, and realizes that he was still wearing his work slacks, but his shirt and shoes were gone, “shit” Ben sat up and saw a glass of water on his night stand with some Advil’s on top of a sticky note with Rey’s little chicken scratch.
Ben distress is momentarily forgotten as he pops the medication in his mouth and downs it with the glass of water. He grabs his phone to thank Armitage for taking Poe and him home until he realizes its dead from last night.
Last night.
“SHIT!”
Suddenly theres two timid knocks on the door to his room, he holds his breath, then its ripped from his lungs when he hears,
“Ben?”