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It was the day Finn was dreading for weeks now. It was the day before Christmas eve, and he stood in front of the mirror, straightening the lame Christmas themed tie Rey had given him as an early gift. It was green with a pattern of little candy canes. Finn smoothed it out over his red button-up and looked himself over one more time. He sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping, and he walked out into the kitchen. Rey sat at the counter, mug of tea in one hand and her phone in the other. She looked up at him, smothering a laugh behind her phone.
“You look positively unenthusiastic,” Rey smirked at him. “How can someone look so festive yet so miserable?”
Finn sighed and plopped down on the barstool next to her. “You know how much I hate all the people at work.”
“All but one,” Rey mused as she took a sip from her mug. Finn huffed and rolled his eyes, but he felt his face burning.
“You’re not saying ‘no’,” Rey sang. Finn gently shoved her arm and got up from the stool. Rey was right, but he would never admit it to her out loud. He trudged over to the other end of the kitchen where a gift wrapped in shiny red paper sat.
The office Christmas party was always such a drag, but Finn felt the need to be there. He wished he could say that it was the only time his boss or his other coworkers weren’t breathing down his neck, but that would be a lie. They were always poking and prodding about his personal life, but Finn wouldn’t give them much. He didn’t like the idea of blending his work life with his personal life. With the exception of Poe Dameron, of course.
Finn picked up the gift—it was a travel mug and a Starbucks gift card, really a basic gift swap kind of thing—and tugged on his jacket. “I’ll text you when I’m on my way home.”
“Don’t have too much fun!” Rey called after him.
The party was at the office building, and Finn felt strange pulling into the parking lot at nearly eight o’clock at night. It had been dark for hours now, and snow was falling slowly. Finn hurried inside as his jacket wasn’t nearly as warm as it should have been. People were already milling about inside, but Finn hardly knew any of them. Most of the people Finn recognized as salespeople, which wasn’t his department. He gave half-hearted “hellos” and “happy holidays” as he maneuvered to the table in the corner with all the gifts on it. Finn placed his gift on the table. He shrugged off his jacket and hung it up on the coat rack in the corner. He turned to face the rest of the office.
Why was he even here? The only person he talked to on a regular basis was Rose, but she wasn’t at the party. She left earlier that week to spend Christmas with her family; she said something about her sister being sick and how Rose hadn’t seen her in quite some time. Of course, there was Poe, the suave, handsome salesman that he had come to befriend, but Finn wasn’t even sure he was going to be at the party. Finn didn’t know Poe well enough—didn’t have his number was his actual issue—to ask if he was coming to this stupid thing. Finn was going to bring it up in the conversation they were having the other day; he swore he would. But Poe did that thing where he was infuriatingly gorgeous when he threw his head back and laughed at something stupid Finn had said, making Finn forget anything and everything he wanted to say.
So, there was Finn. Alone. At the office Christmas party.
Music was playing softly from a speaker someone had brought. There was tinsel and strings of white lights hanging from the ceiling. His coworkers milled about, mingling and making small talk amongst one another. One of the conference rooms had been converted into a mini buffet table, lined with homemade cookies, finger foods, and drinks. Finn wasn’t much of a drinker, but he allowed himself one glass of some particularly expensive looking champagne someone brought.
Finn spent most of his time in the corner, picking at his food and scrolling through his phone. His coworkers seemed to ignore him, and honestly, he didn’t mind it. It wasn’t until the gift swap that he got pulled into the fray.
Everyone had to pick a number, and whoever had number one got to pick first. Once the next person got their gift, they could decide if they wanted to open their gift or steal the first person’s gift. It went on like this for a little while, everyone split up into smaller circles, because one big circle would’ve been a nightmare. By the end of Finn’s circle, he had ended up with what Rey would’ve called a “self-care” bag. His gift contained a candle—one that smelled like vanilla and peppermint—two pairs of comfy socks, chocolates, and other little comfort items. Finn supposed this was meant more for a female coworker, but Finn was very content with his gift and couldn’t wait to light his new candle.
Everyone dispersed after the gift swap, and that was when Finn saw Poe Dameron laughing with some of their coworkers.
Finn froze in place when Poe looked over to him. He could’ve sworn Poe’s eyes lit up when he recognized him, but Finn chalked it up to his imagination. Poe finished whatever he was saying to the girl he was speaking to and started to make his way over to Finn.
His heart raced in his chest. Poe looked handsome; he was wearing a red cardigan over a white button down and jeans, with a pair of black boots that stopped at his ankles. He stepped towards Finn, but he noticed something was off. Poe moved sluggishly, and as he got closer, Finn noticed his eyes were lidded. Poe knocked into someone with his shoulder on his way over, so hard that he almost spun around. Poe finally stopped in front of Finn. He swayed on his feet.
“Finn! My buddy!” Poe announced, clapping Finn roughly on the shoulder. Finn laughed nervously. “What’re you—have you been here this whole time?”
“Uh, yeah,” Finn responded. “I was looking for you, I wasn’t sure if you were coming or not.”
Poe leaned forward, bowing his head. Finn heard him giggling. Finn squared his shoulders and furrowed his brow. Something was definitely wrong with Poe. He brought his head up again and looked directly into Finn’s eyes. Poe blinked lazily and started giggling again. Poe’s breath reeked of alcohol. Finn’s eyes widened.
“Poe, are you alright?” Finn asked nervously. “Do you need to, like, sit or something? Drink some water maybe?”
Poe’s hand was still on Finn’s shoulder, gripping it like a vice. Finn realized Poe needed to lean on him to stand. Poe’s eyes drifted back up to Finn. They were starting to attract stares from their coworkers.
“Fine. ‘m fine,” Poe mumbled. He started to lean forward, placing his other hand on Finn’s chest. Poe’s eyes fluttered closed, and he continued to bring himself closer to Finn. Finn’s heartbeat pounded in his ears as he realized Poe Dameron was trying to kiss him.
A part of Finn wanted Poe to kiss him, had been wanting it since the day he met Poe. But this was not right. Finn didn’t want it to happen this way. Poe was just extremely intoxicated; he didn’t know what he was doing. Sober Poe wouldn’t have wanted to kiss Finn, not in a million years.
Just before Poe got a little too close, Finn lightly pushed him away. Poe staggered back but came forward again. His hand still held Finn’s shoulder, Poe’s other hand still on his chest, and he looked up at Finn through long, dark lashes. Finn swallowed dryly.
“We-we should get you home,” Finn stammered quietly.
Poe made a whiny noise in protest but didn’t seem to fight Finn when he draped Poe’s arm across his shoulder. Poe staggered for a moment but gained his footing (for the most part) as Finn walked him towards the coat rack. Now people were really staring at the two of them. He didn’t care what everyone else thought of them in that moment. Finn knew there would be gossip once the holidays were over, but in this moment none of the workplace bullshit bothered him.
Finn helped Poe sit as he grabbed his coat. Finn looked for a moment at the jackets and grabbed a long black peacoat that he recognized as Poe’s. Poe sat with his head leaned back against the wall. His eyes were closed, and he was quietly laughing at something and mumbling incoherently. Finn helped him to his feet again, draping Poe’s coat across his shoulders, and herding him out of the office building.
The two of them slowly made their way down the stairs. Poe wouldn’t stop giggling. Finn readjusted Poe’s arm around his shoulders, pulled him closer to Finn’s body. Poe nearly missed the last step but managed to not fall flat on his face thanks to Finn. The two of them made it out into the parking lot. Finn stopped for a moment. He considered calling Poe a cab because he was clearly in no condition to drive. But Finn would have felt guilty not knowing if he got home alright. His head lay on Finn’s shoulder, his eyes fluttering, and cheeks flushed. Finn sighed.
“C’mon Poe,” Finn mumbled.
Finn ushered Poe over to his shitty ’04 Honda Civic. Finn struggled getting Poe to sit in the passenger’s seat, but finally managed to close the door without closing it on his foot. Finn ran over to the driver’s side and turned the key in the ignition. He looked over at Poe.
Poe’s eyes were closed, head leaned back against the headrest. “Finn,” he drawled. “Is—it’s Christmas. The party isn’t—isn’t over yet. I wanna go back—”
“Poe, you need to go home and rest,” Finn chided as he cranked the heat. Sometimes the heat decided to give out. Finn prayed it wasn’t one of those times. “You’re drunk.”
“’m not,” Poe mumbled. “Perfectly fine.”
“You’re not,” Finn retorted. He looked over at Poe again. He was sitting up straight (sort of), and his dark eyes glittered mischievously. A sloppy grin graced his features as he leaned towards Finn. Finn’s stomach dropped as Poe’s lips came dangerously close to Finn’s. He, again, pushed Poe away, his lips barely grazing Finn’s cheek.
“Poe, stop that,” Finn hissed. “You wouldn’t—you don’t really want to.”
Poe grunted. “How do y’know what I really want to?”
Finn exhaled heavily through his nose. There was no way in hell Poe would ever—and Finn meant ever—want to be with him. It just didn’t make sense; Poe was charming and handsome, good with other people. Finn on the other hand saw himself as awkward and a loner. He wasn’t any good with others, besides Rey of course. He had been alone for most of his life and was mostly content with being so.
“Where do you live?” Finn asked after a moment.
“Why? Gonna show up at my door?” Poe asked, immediately cracking a grin and laughing. His head lolled to the side, making a thunk against the window. Finn was about to retort, but Poe made quite a show of pulling his phone from the back pocket of his pants. He unlocked it, opening the GPS and clicking on his home address. He unceremoniously dumped his phone in the cupholder between them and fell against the door again.
The ride was quiet. Apart from the GPS directing Finn where to go and Poe mumbling and giggling and whining every two seconds, it was quiet. Finn glanced over at his passenger every so often to make sure he was doing alright. The flush in his cheeks had gone down, and his eyes weren’t glittering anymore. In the dim light of the moon and streetlights, Poe Dameron looked exhausted. Finn hadn’t noticed until then, but Poe had dark circles under his eyes and a crease between his eyebrows. His mouth was set in a firm line. Poe looked small in his black peacoat and dark curly hair. Poe just looked tired.
Finn pulled into the parking lot of Poe’s apartment complex. He killed the engine and clambered out of his seat to help Poe out of his. Poe staggered, Finn catching his arms, and the two of them made to the lobby.
“Really, Finn, ‘m okay,” Poe slurred as he dizzily swayed over to the elevators. Finn caught his arm before he fell, glancing at Poe with a sternness that made his concerned look melt. “Alright, whatever. You can walk me up.”
They rode up in silence. Poe leaned heavily on Finn’s side. The doors parted on the fifth floor, and Finn followed behind Poe as he took a sharp right down the hall. Poe dragged his hand across the wall for support and stopped four doors down from the elevator. Finn watched as he struggled to get his keys out of his jacket pocket. It took him several tries for him to get his key in the lock, but he did eventually. The door swung open.
Finn followed Poe in. His apartment was disheveled; dirty dishes were piled up in the sink, dog toys lay out on the floor, and heaps of paperwork sat on the dining room table. Dog paws pattered on the wood floor, and a little corgi appeared from the bedroom.
“Bee Bee!” Poe exclaimed. He dropped to his knees and held his dog. The dog’s whole butt wagged as he only had the stump of a tail. He licked Poe’s face as he laughed. Poe sat on the floor and fell back. Finn raised an eyebrow as Poe laid on the floor, Bee Bee scampering back and forth in front of him, as if he wanted to play. Finn sighed. He grabbed Poe from under his arms and started to lift him up. Poe groaned.
“C’mon, pal,” Finn said through gritted teeth as he pulled Poe to his feet. “Let’s get you to bed.”
“But I don’ wanna,” Poe whined. He fussed for a moment but melted like putty in Finn’s hands.
The two of them staggered over to Poe’s bedroom. Finn found the light switch and got Poe to sit on his bed. Poe immediately fell back onto his mattress, head turned to the side. His eyes were closed again, and sweat glistened on his brow. His breathing was pretty consistent. Finn couldn’t help but chuckle and shake his head.
This was the man he was so desperately in love with.
Poe hadn’t even managed to take off his jacket before he passed out. Finn moved to do so. Taking his jacket and cardigan off was tricky as Poe was laying on his back, but Poe was out like a light. He laid the jacket and cardigan on a stool in the corner of the room and moved to take Poe’s boots off. Finn questioned whether or not to take his button down or his belt off, but Finn decided he didn’t need to be flustered any further. Finn managed to pull the comforter out from under Poe and draped it across him. Finn turned out the lights and shut the door behind him.
Bee Bee sat out in the kitchen, head cocked to the side as he stared at Finn. Finn walked over and patted him on the head. There was a notepad on the counter next to a beat-up coffee machine. Finn figured that Poe would have almost no recollection of how he got home, so Finn decided to leave him a little note before he left.
Finn turned and walked out the door, closing it quietly behind him. He made his way downstairs and out into the parking lot. The engine of his car stuttered as he turned the key. Finn turned it again, and his car came to life. He sent a text to Rey before pulling out of the parking lot.
Poe’s apartment complex was in the opposite direction from the office as Finn’s, so he had a little bit of a drive back. Christmas music played softly on the radio. It was getting close to midnight, and there was hardly anyone out on the road. He passed numerous impressive houses, decorated as if they were out of some Christmas movie: colored lights lined the roofs like gumdrops on a gingerbread house, blow-up snowmen and Santa Clauses out on the front yards.
Finn pulled into the parking lot of his complex. The engine died as he turned the key, and he climbed out of his car. He walked into the lobby and turned to the elevators. Finn pressed the second-floor button.
The door was unlocked when he went to open it, so he assumed Rey was awake. The lights were off when he entered, but the TV was on. Rey was laying on the couch watching Home Alone. She propped herself up when she heard the door close.
“So?” she asked. “How was the party?”
“Poe Dameron tried to kiss me,” Finn blurted out before he could even think.
Rey sprang up from the couch, a look of shock on her face. “Well, did you let him?!”
“Well, no,” Finn explained as he shrugged off his jacket. He walked over to the couch and flopped down next to Rey. “He—”
“Why not?!” she exclaimed. “You’ve been mooning over him since—”
“I have not been mooning, Rey—”
“Since the day you met him!” Rey continued as if she hadn’t heard Finn.
Finn sank into the couch and made a sound akin to a dying whale. Rey patted his shoulder gently. Finn covered his face with his hands.
“He was drunk, Rey,” he mumbled around his hands. “Like, really, really drunk. He tried kissing me twice. I drove him home because he couldn’t even walk straight.”
“Jesus, seriously?” Rey asked. “Was he alright?”
“I mean he was drunk, so probably not,” Finn retorted. “It’s tough for some people this time of year, so I don’t blame the guy.”
Rey sat quiet for a moment. “Do you think he’ll remember what happened?”
“Probably not.”
Poe opened his eyes to the ceiling spinning. He squeezed them shut immediately and groaned. His head was throbbing something awful, and it felt like someone had lit every single one of his muscles on fire. Poe tried opening his eyes again, but the light coming in from the window made him wince.
Next he tried to sit up. Poe managed to do so, but he felt nauseous. He gagged and clamped a hand over his mouth to keep him from throwing up. His body had other plans.
Poe staggered to the bathroom, just barely able to kneel in front of the toilet before gagging and vomiting. Throat burning, Poe scrabbled for the handle, and then dragged himself into the shower.
The icy water felt relieving on his burning skin. Poe stood under the stream of water for who knows how long—10 minutes? 20?—he didn’t know. Eventually he felt like he could walk without wanting to puke, so he shut off the water and toweled off.
Once he had changed into a clean t-shirt and his comfiest sweats, Poe trudged into the kitchen. He nearly tripped on one of Bee Bee’s chew toys, quietly cursing at it and kicking it away. The coffee maker sat on the counter in the corner. Poe held his temples with one hand and turned on the machine with the other. He shielded his eyes from the light reflecting off the pale walls of his apartment and leaned heavily against the counter.
Poe had almost no recollection of what had happened the night before. He remembered getting to the office and talking to a few people before he had a drink. Poe remembered keeping an eye out for Finn and knew that he had seen Finn. He also recalled Finn looking concerned at some point during the night, but that seemed to be post-more-alcohol-than-Poe-should’ve-consumed. There was a car ride back to his apartment too—had someone called him a cab? Or had someone offered to drive him home? Poe’s brain was mush, and he groaned and ran his hands down is face.
He turned around to grab a mug and a coffee pod out of the cabinet. He placed the mug under the spout and the pod in its designated spot and shut the contraption. The coffee machine stuttered as it brewed coffee. Poe stared at the counter to keep himself from keeling over, but he wasn’t sure if the marble was supposed to swirl like that or if his hangover was really that bad. The marble stopped spinning long enough for Poe to see that his notepad was next to his hand on the counter. The handwriting looked far too neat to be his own. Poe picked it up and read the note on the top page which read:
Poe—
Not sure if you’ll remember, but I drove you
home last night from the party. Make sure to
drink plenty of water and take some Advil or
something. If you need anything, don’t
hesitate to call or text me.
Merry Christmas
—Finn
Underneath his name, Finn had written out his cell phone number. Poe blinked stupidly at the note, and sharply inhaled as he started remembering the parts of last night that he couldn’t quite recall.
Poe remembered thinking how nice Finn looked. The alcohol in his system had definitely given him more confidence than was possible for Sober Poe. Poe supposed he thought he looked and sounded smoother than he had actually been at the party; he managed to recall that he had tried to kiss Finn.
He stood rooted to the spot in the kitchen for several long moments. Poe slowly dropped his head forward, hanging it in embarrassment.
“Please tell me I didn’t do what I think I did,” Poe croaked to his empty apartment. Bee Bee came bounding up to him, jumping up on his legs. Poe half-heartedly patted him between the ears. He took his mug and the notepad.
“I need to sit,” Poe mumbled to himself.
He retrieved his phone from his room before sitting himself at the dining room table scattered with his unfinished paperwork. Bee Bee happily followed him to the table and sat at Poe’s feet. Poe looked at the note again and then at his phone.
His first thought was that he was an asshole. Poor Finn had to deal with him when he was absolutely blackout drunk and keep Poe’s ass in check. Heat rose in his face at the thought of attempting to kiss his coworker. He would never have done that if not for the alcohol in his system. As long and as much as he liked Finn, Poe would never in a million years want their first kiss to be when he was blackout at the Christmas office party. Poe knew he shouldn’t have been drinking so much at the party, but the holidays had gotten tough for him over the past few years. There wasn’t family for Poe to spend his Christmas with, which had resulted in quite a few lonely holidays. Of course, there was Jessika and Snap, but they had their own families to be with.
Poe’s second thought was that he should call Finn and apologize.
He reached for the notepad and programmed Finn’s number into his phone. With a heavy sigh, he dialed the number and called Finn.
The dial tone rang. And it rang again. And again. Poe chewed his bottom lip. It was Christmas Eve after all, Finn probably had plans, or maybe he wasn’t even up yet—
“Hello?” Finn’s voice came across the line, quizzical. Poe’s breath hitched in his throat.
“Hey, Finn.” Poe had sounded like he’d been gargling rocks. He cleared his throat and continued. “It’s Poe, from the office?”
“Oh!” Finn replied, Poe detecting something like relief in his voice. “How are you feeling? You were pretty out of it last night.”
“I’ve been worse, believe it or not,” Poe scoffed. “But I’m alright. Listen, I’m sorry you had to go out of your way to bring me home. I’m not usually—not usually like that.”
There was a moment of silence. “You mean, not usually trying to drunkenly kiss your coworkers?”
Poe’s face burned. It sounded as if Finn wasn’t trying to be snarky—and Poe believed Finn was just genuinely curious as to what made Poe act the way that he did the night before. It didn’t mean Poe didn’t want to smash his already pounding head repeatedly against the table.
“I’m really sorry about that, Finn,” Poe sighed. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable or violated. The holidays and Christmas time are really just…tough for me. And of course, that’s no excuse to have been drinking as much as I did, neither does it justify what I did to you—”
“Poe, slow down,” Finn interrupted him. Poe swore he was muffling laughter. “It’s alright, I accept your apology. I just wanted to make sure you got home okay.”
“You could’ve just called me a cab.”
“Well, it’s Christmas. You know, the whole Christmas spirit thing. Besides, it was the right thing to do.”
Poe chuckled and mumbled agreement. Another beat of silence stretched between them.
“What are you doing today?” Finn asked curiously.
Poe blinked stupidly and sat quietly for a moment. What was he doing today? “Probably just going to sit on the couch watching dumb Christmas movies all day. You?”
“My roommate and I were also going to watch dumb Christmas movies and make dinner together tonight, if you, I dunno, want to join us?” Finn responded, trying to sound nonchalant.
The widest grin stretched across Poe’s face. His heart raced. “Yeah, I would like that a lot.”
“Great!” Poe could practically hear the smile in Finn’s voice. “Wanna come over at like…six o’clock? I’ll text you my address.”
Poe glanced at the clock; it was just past 11:30. “Can’t wait,” he responded.
Finn nervously paced around the kitchen. Rey bemusedly watched as he walked back and forth.
“Finn, you’re going to burn holes in the floor with all your pacing,” Rey teased. “Sit down and relax for a moment.”
“I can’t relax, Rey, I can’t believe I did that,” Finn responded, tearing at his hair. He didn’t know what the hell he was thinking, inviting Poe over on a whim like that. He couldn’t help but feel bad for him. Finn knew the feeling of not having anybody for the holidays all too well. He knew Poe must have been hurting and didn’t want him to spend the next few days all by himself.
Rey and Finn had been cooking all day; they usually made a fuss about cooking a nice meal on Christmas Eve so that they could relax on Christmas day. This year they went all out; Finn was in charge of the turkey and making roasted potatoes, while Rey was in charge of making vegetables and other small sides, as well as baking her famous crinkle cookies. They tasted almost like brownies, and Rey always added a bit of peppermint flavoring to them. Finn could eat an entire batch in one sitting if Rey didn’t constantly swat him away from the platter.
The two of them had been dancing around each other in the kitchen all day, jamming out to the Christmas station on the radio, and getting into food fights. Finn nearly forgot that he had invited Poe over until it was time for him to wash up and get changed.
Finn continued to pace in the kitchen. Their whole apartment was decorated for the holiday; their little Christmas tree sat in the corner of the living room, decorated with white lights, red ribbon, and glass ornaments. A few presents sat under the tree; Rey was exceptionally good at making her presents look professionally wrapped, whereas Finn more often than not threw his gifts into gift bags. They had found the channel with the yule log and put it on. There wasn’t a fireplace in their apartment, so their stockings hung on the wall next to the tree. Their apartment smelled of fresh baked cookies and vanilla, thanks to the candle Finn got in the gift swap. Rey was dressed in a long white sweater and black leggings. She was also wearing the most ridiculous looking fuzzy socks; they were red and white striped and made her look like she was one of Santa’s elves.
Finn smoothed his sweater nervously. Poe was going to be there any minute, and his heart was pounding. Finn hoped Poe would be more careful about his alcohol intake tonight; he didn’t want a repeat of last night. He also hoped Poe wasn’t having too tough of a time with the holidays and all; Finn wanted Poe to feel at home, or at least at peace this Christmas.
There was a knock at the door. Finn wheeled around, staring at it. Rey perked up and set her phone down on the counter. She looked over at Finn.
“Well, are you going to let him in or are you just going to stand and stare at the door all night?” Rey asked.
Finn jumped, realizing he had been rooted to the spot. He scurried over to the door, taking a deep breath before turning the knob and opening the door.
Poe had been looking down at his shoes when Finn opened the door. He picked up his head to look at Finn. Poe looked much better than when Finn had last seen him. His cheeks were flushed from the cold, and a small smile graced Poe’s features, and Finn thought it suited him. Poe was wearing the same black coat he had been wearing last night, a knit black sweater, and dark jeans. He held a centerpiece of red poinsettias in one hand and a covered plate in the other. Poe grinned wider at Finn.
“Merry Christmas, pal,” Poe said as Finn took the flowers from him.
Finn thought he should say something flirty back, something smart, but all that came out was an unintelligible noise.
Poe smothered his laughter in the crook of his arm and stepped inside Finn and Rey’s apartment once Finn had stepped away from the door. Rey crossed the kitchen to introduce herself as Finn closed the door behind him. Poe set the plate down on the counter and Rey took the flowers from him.
Rey held out her free hand to shake Poe’s. “I’m Rey, it’s nice to finally meet you, Poe.”
Finn glared at Rey as Poe furrowed his brow. Finn made a “cut it out” gesture from behind Poe. “Finally?”
Rey smirked. “Yeah, Finn’s told me all about you.”
“Yeah?” Poe asked as he turned to look at Finn. He stopped making rude gestures at Rey and smiled innocently at Poe.
“Uhh…yeah, I guess so.” Finn’s face flushed. “I enjoy working with you. It’s not like I have very many friends anyways.”
Poe smiled at him for a moment. Finn wanted to melt but he was very aware of Rey smirking at him from over Poe’s shoulder. Finn cleared his throat and stepped towards Poe.
“Let me take your jacket,” Finn said nervously. Poe shrugged off his jacket, and Finn walked into his room to hang it up in his closet, hyperaware that Rey was set to embarrass him at any chance she could. Finn hurried back into the kitchen. Rey and Poe were making friendly conversation.
“Who’s ready to eat?” Finn asked.
XXX
Dinner went smoothly. It was starting to get pretty late, but the three of them were in the living room watching Christmas movies. Elf was on. Rey was asleep, curled up in the armchair, swaddled in a fuzzy blanket. Finn and Poe sat on the couch, Finn’s head resting against Poe’s shoulder.
“I never said thank you, you know,” Poe said suddenly. Finn furrowed his brow. “For driving me home last night, I mean.”
Finn sat up to look at him. “I told you, it wasn’t that big of a deal. I—”
Poe sighed. “But it was a big deal. I feel awful. You shouldn’t have to put up with my demons. That’s my job.”
Finn looked at him. Poe looked tired, like he had in Finn’s passenger seat last night; the blue light of the TV made the shadows under his eyes evident, and Poe just looked vulnerable. He looked like he was on the verge of tears.
“I lost my mom when I was a kid,” Poe started, his voice cracking. “She was everything to me. When she died, my dad and I grew apart. And when I came out to him in college…he kicked me out. My dad wanted nothing to do with me.”
Finn sat and waited for Poe to continue. He refused to meet Finn’s gaze. Poe tugged at the ends of his sleeves. He heaved a shaky sigh. “Christmas time is tough for me. I haven’t talked to my dad since he kicked me to the curb. I have some friends but…they’ve all got their families to go to.”
“You know, you’re more than welcome here whenever you want,” Finn said quietly. “Rey and I…we’re both no strangers to having no family. I think that’s why we get along as well as we do.”
Poe sat silent for a moment, intermittently wiping tears from his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he laughed nervously. “I-I don’t know why I dumped that on you.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Finn reassured him. Poe gingerly reached for Finn’s hand, and intertwined their fingers. Finn looked down at their hands and then back up at Poe.
“While we’re on the subject of sharing our life stories,” Finn started. What are you doing you idiot, he thought, but continued with his statement, “I’ve had a big, stupid crush on you since the day we met.”
Poe wiped another tear from his eye and bit his lower lip. “What a coincidence—so have I.”
Poe looked up at Finn and gave him a watery smile. Finn couldn’t help but smile back. The both of them started laughing. With his free hand, Poe tugged lightly at the collar of Finn’s sweater. He pulled Finn into a soft kiss. Finn pulled away after a moment to look at Poe but found himself leaning in for another kiss.
Poe tugged more urgently at Finn’s sweater this time, deepening the kiss. Finn cradled the back of Poe’s head, finding holds in his curly hair. Poe pulled away this time, both of them breathless, cheeks flushed.
“Get a room,” Rey groaned groggily from the armchair. Finn fell back at the sound of her voice, scooting away from Poe’s very close proximity. His face burned as Poe laughed. Poe leaned closer to him, pressing a kiss to Finn’s cheek.
“Merry Christmas, Finn.”