Chapter Text
Sean rolled over face down in the dirty mattress resting his face on his forearms as his latest conquest stood up and turned to leave pulling her shirt back on and buttoning her pants another meaningless fuck but at least it made him feel good about himself for a while but now there was the familiar numb ache no one ever bothered to stay afterwards and the few who could even bother to send a call or text in the future only ever used him as their booty call. He didn’t mind not really it was all fun and enjoyable but sometimes he thought it would be nice to cuddle afterwards or to hang out after sex but no one ever did.
How could he blame them he wasn’t someone worth staying around for; his own Mother left when he was just 8 years old, if not even she could love him why the fuck would anyone else want to. That wasn’t fair to his Dad and Brother but the thoughts just wouldn’t go away how he was worthless and unlovable all he was good for was getting someone else off and he was good at that damn good if the people who kept coming back were anything to go by.
Sean stood up the noise of the party outside of this dingy room dragging him from his self-deprecating thoughts it was some rave in an old abandoned building that Lyla had talked him into going to he only went to hook up with someone and get wasted he never thought he’d meet the one in a place like this or that his life would change for the best. Pulling on his pants and dressing quickly not bothering to straighten up he couldn’t care less what these people thought of him he left the room the bass instantly hitting him straight in the chest it made him feel good.
Sean spotted Lyla talking to some purple haired woman beside her was a pale freckled shy looking man with auburn braided hair, square frame glasses, tattoos and piercings. Sean couldn’t stop staring at him he was pretty in a unique yet familiar way and Sean just wanted to devour him and leave him a quivering mess underneath him but he looked so shy and quiet he knew that he would never do something like that to someone like him. He walked over to Lyla the man and woman, hoping that she would introduce them.
Sean could hear the two women talking but they stopped when he arrived
“Oh, hey Sean did ya have fun?”
She shot him a wink she knew his reputation, he had gotten worse since college and moving out. He didn’t respond honestly this new man in front of him made him want to be better than who he actually was. Lyla didn’t push further just introduced him.
“This is Cass she’s in my class and her brother Finn”
“Hey Cass, Finn”
Sean nodded to either of them Cass and Lyla returned to whatever conversation that Sean had interrupted. Finn was just looking at his shoes like he didn’t really want to be here
“So, uh how do you know Lyla?”
He asked and his voice was unlike anything Sean had ever heard let alone expected he couldn’t place it but he wanted to listen to it for hours it was all twangy and drawling it reminded him of acoustic guitar playing around a campfire, the smell of weed and fresh earth, it was like a warm blanket draped over you when you didn’t know how cold you had been.
“Oh, we’ve been friends forever like since we were little kids”
Sean’s usually confident demeanor was gone just pulled away by this mysterious stranger he felt disarmed and naked more naked than he had been a few minutes ago in that dingy room.
“How do you know her?”
“I don’t Cass just introduced me. Parties aren’t really my thing but she dragged me here. Gotta get you out of your shell Finn”
He laughed softly and the sound was so pleasant it almost made Sean shudder
“Yeah I’m not big on parties myself Lyla asked me to come. Do you smoke?”
Sean had pulled a box of cigarettes out of his pocket and currently held one between two fingers gesturing towards Finn.
“Weed yes cigarettes no”
Finn laughed a little at his words before he pulled a joint out of his own jeans.
“Want to continue this conversation outside then?”
Sean said motioning towards the exit doors.
He started walking and just hoped that by some miracle Finn had decided to follow him out the doors, he chanced a look behind him and thanked whatever powers may be because Finn had actually followed after him.
Sean opened up one of the heavy fire doors to the back of the lot whatever alarms had once been there had been disabled long ago. He held the door for Finn and found a breeze block to prop it open with not wanting to get locked outside. He sat on the porch step and patted the ground beside him for Finn to sit.
Finn pulled a large joint and a lighter out of his jeans pocket before he sat down. The two of them sat squished together in the small entryway. Finn was the first to light up placing the joint between his lips and inhaling as he brought the flame to the tip.
“Um do you mind sharing? I only have cigarettes on me and it’d be nice to get buzzed”
“Yeah man I got you”
Finn took a few more drags before passing the joint to Sean who took a long slow inhale. When sex didn’t work weed always made him feel better booze helped sometimes but mostly it just made him sad.
“You in college too?”
“Naw man not my scene but Cass is studying Music”
“That’s cool what do you do then?”
Sean passed the joint back after a few drags
“I’m a woodworker I make sculptures, free form furniture that kinda shit you?”
“I’m studying art it’s my second year hoping to get into comics in the future”
“Holy fucking shit no way that is bad ass”
Sean perked up out of his glum mood for what feels like the first time in forever.
“Really you like comics?”
“Sure do Fantastic Four has always been a favourite”
Sean only just noticed the button badge pinned to the collar of his flannel button up shirt it had their symbol on it.
“Nice badge”
“Thanks my best friend Hannah got it for me”
“So have you and Hannah known each other long?”
Sean passed the joint back after a few drags
“Yeah about 3 years or so now. Met her hopping trains during summer break my last year of high school”
“That is so cool I can’t imagine ever doing something like train hopping. Think the most exciting thing I ever did was go camping in the woods with my Dad and Brother not exactly wild”
Sean wasn’t about to spill how he ran away for a week when his Mom up and left at 8 years old.
“See I’d have loved if that was as exciting as my life got. Honest.”
Finn wasn’t ready to tell Sean about how his Dad had run an illegal chop shop that wound up with him in Foster care at 8, and his brothers in prison. It wasn’t all bad that was how he’d met Cass, Penny and Jake but it was a lot for people to handle at first.
Neither said anything for a few minutes just swapped the joint back and forth in companionable silence. It should have been awkward considering that they had only just met but it was comfortable, just being together not saying anything felt strangely right like it was always meant to go this way.
When the joint had burnt down to the end and Finn had rubbed it out on the wall beside them both stood up too head inside. Sean spoke first
“Thanks for the joint.” as if in hindsight he added “It was really nice meeting you Finn”
Sean without even thinking about it grabbed a small spiral bound notepad out of his back pocket along with a pen he kept in the bindings. He flicked it open to the first blank page and scribbled down his number before tearing out the page and handing it too Finn.
“Let’s stay in touch” Sean wore his best smile then.
Finn took the page out of Sean's hand and looked at it somewhat sceptically before looking back up to Sean's face now blushing and flustered. He folded the page in half and placed it in his pocket before smiling shyly.
“Yeah I’d like that, uh staying in touch I mean.”
Sean gave Finn a wave before walking away back towards Lyla
“Be seein ya”
“You too”
Finn called out his voice shyer than it should have been.
Finn didn’t know what it was about Sean that made him so nervous. He thought he’d pushed that part of himself down a long time ago but already it felt like his walls were going to crumble. Finn didn’t get close to people not easily, and when he did it was earned. He’d learnt early on that when you love someone, they have a power over you that was immeasurable he didn’t let himself love anymore not after everything he’d been through but for some reason, he wanted to let himself try again with Sean. Maybe he was crazy but memories of a night surrounded by red wood trees and humid February air filled his senses out of nowhere.