Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You wake up with a start on your cheap mattress. Staring up at the stained ceiling, you resist the urge to groan. You don’t know if your mother is awake, and you’d rather not have her yelling at you  this early in the morning.

Sitting up, you glance at the cracked alarm clock beside your bed. 5:38 A.M. It’s good enough for you, and you get out of bed to try and ready yourself as much as possible before she inevitably comes and finds something to bitch at you about. 

Mother passes your door, walking down the hallway, and you hold your breath. You don’t speak- you know better than that. Your mother prefers you to sign to her, or more often, keep your head down and just nod to whatever she tells you. “Children are meant to be seen, not heard,” she tells you in a sing-song voice, and you play the part as perfectly as you can.

Of course, you aren’t to use sign language in public. That would be weird, and she of course is a model parent. Sometimes she even acts so well that you almost forget what’s waiting for you when you get home. You know better now.

You hunker down beside your bed and open an astrology book pilfered from your school’s library. It’s dirty and crumpled, but you can still make out enough to keep you entertained. You like learning about constellations and stars. Reading books like this is a quiet activity- you have to make sure your mother doesn’t find out. Science is for boys, after all, and you’re a little girl. It doesn’t matter what you think you are, because you’re a demon and demons don’t get to decide they’re not a boy or a girl. 

As you try to read, hair covers your eyes. Mother hasn’t allowed you to have a haircut in months, saying that you look better if no one can see your disgusting eyes. When you opened your mouth to argue, she backhanded you, and that was that. It’s annoying, and you hate it. You can’t help the color of your eyes, and your hair is matted with tangles, finger-combing through it only going so far to help you.

You try not to glance over to the side, where you know you’ve stored a pair of rusty scissors from the kitchen drawer under your mattress. It was dumb luck that Mother hadn’t missed them, and you know it’s a bad idea to incur her wrath now, especially when your last set of bruises was just healing- you hadn’t been able to go to school since, your mother not wanting the teachers to suspect her of any wrongdoing. Secretly, you think the teachers wouldn’t care even if they did know what she was doing to you. 

Reaching out, you pull the scissors from your hiding place. Surely Mother won’t notice if you just cut off an inch or so, right? You just want to be able to see, and before you can second-guess yourself you bring the scissors up to your bangs and begin sawing at them, clumps of hair falling into your lap. Once you can see properly again, you pause, wishing you had a mirror. Then you bring the scissors around to the back of your head and begin hacking away at the matted locks. 

You cut and cut, larger and larger chunks of hair falling to the ground around you, and before you know it you’ve cut away enough that your hair now hangs above your shoulders. You feel it, smiling for a moment- before freezing. There’s no way your mother won’t notice what you’ve done.

Your body feels like it’s filled with ice water as your head jerks towards the door. Hoping and praying she won’t see you sneak to the bathroom, you tiptoe towards the door and crack it open.

She’s right there.

Walking up the hallway towards you, and you know she’s seen your door move if the look on her face is any indication. 

“What are you doing, brat?” She says, and wrenches open the door, the handle escaping your clammy grip.

Your entire body stiffens, and you stand stock still in the doorway as she stares at you.

Please, please, please-

“What the fuck have you done to your hair?” Mother spits, and before you can even take a step back she’s grabbed your mangled locks and yanked you towards her. She stares at you while you squirm and try not to make eye contact. Letting go, she steps back, and you let out a breath-

Then she punches you.

Stumbling back, you stare at her for a moment before jerking your gaze down toward the floor. She’s unpredictable at the best of times, and you don’t want her to hurt you any more than she has to.

“Why on Earth would you think this was okay? You know the rules. It’s like you do this on purpose,” Mother hisses, “But what else should I expect from a demon child? You were sent by God to test me. Fucking filthy creature like you can’t even do what she’s told.” She slaps you, and this time you fall back, landing ass-first on the hard wood floor and cowering despite yourself.

“Mama, please-”

A blow lands on your ribcage, and you wheeze as you try to roll away from her. 

“Don’t you dare call me that. I am not your mother. I will never be the mother of a hellspawn like you- I’m a good Christian woman-”

Her words blur together, everything becoming a fog as kick after punch is rained down upon your tiny body, and you curl up on yourself, unable to hold back your cries of pain.

When it’s finally over, Mother is nowhere to be seen. Trying to lift yourself off the floor, you collapse as your ribs give a painful twinge of protest. There’s blood on the floor, and you think vaguely that you should mop that up before your mother gets even more angry at the mess you made. 

You reach out to wipe it up with your sleeve, but before you make it the world fades around you and you fall unconscious.

The next time you wake, your stomach is hollow and it’s once again dark outside of your window. Some strength has returned to your body, and you manage to push yourself up off of the floor this time, looking around your little room. It looks like Mother didn’t bother to come back after she beat you- and glancing at the clock, you realize she’s probably not even home anyways. 

Staggering to your feet, you pad out of the room and down the hallway. Seeing no sign of anyone else in the house, you relax the tiniest bit. Now would be a good time to disappear, you suddenly think, and unlike the other times you’ve had this thought, you don’t just push it to the back of your mind.

After all, Mother has just proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that she hate hate hates you, and you don’t blame her. It would be easier for everyone if you were gone, and with that in mind, you begin to pack your meager possessions in your ratty backpack.

That night, you climb to the top of Mount Ebott and find a pit so deep you can’t see the bottom.

And you jump.

Chapter Text

The first thing you register is pain. Your limbs feel heavy, like they’re weighed down with lead, and when you try to move your ribs scrape against each other in a way they definitely shouldn’t. An involuntary whimper tears from your throat. Your backpack is gone too... It must’ve gotten loose while you were falling. The only thing you still have on you is your knife, tucked away in your pocket.

Something shuffles in the distance, and you turn your head towards the sound, trying to get your bearings. If you squint, you can see a silhouette slowly approaching you.

There can’t be any people down here, right? You’ve only heard about monsters being underground in the mythology books you pilfered from the school library.

It comes closer, and you can start to make out horns and fur. You turn your head back to the ground and stay still. Okay. You can deal with this. Even if it kills you, you’ll just be getting what you wanted in the first place. 

“Hello..? Are you okay?” The monster stops near you and you slowly look up. It’s small, with nubby horns and fluffy white fur. It almost looks like a goat. “You’ve fallen down, haven’t you?” 

You don’t know if you should answer- people don’t usually like it when you speak, but this isn’t a human. Maybe it’ll be different. Up close, you can tell that this is probably a child around your own age, a boy by the looks of it.  

The silence drags out as you think, and the monster kneels down next to you. “Do you need help? My mom’s really good at healing-” He starts, then cuts himself off with surprise when you try your best to scramble away. 

Coughing, you manage to wheeze out “No- Mom-” between your gasps of panic. You don’t want to see Mother again. The kid looks worried, hesitantly reaching towards you before stopping as if he knows that’ll make it worse.

“It’s okay! She knows how to heal anything. You’ll feel better, I promise!” He says with a reassuring smile, reaching out a hand to you. 

You hesitate, eyeing his hand suspiciously before taking it- it’s not like you have any other choice. Your ribs and one of your legs sear painfully as you haul yourself upright- you’re pretty sure they’re broken. He must see you wince, because the boy’s eyes go wide with alarm before he pulls one of your arms over his shoulder and helps you stand.

“I’m sorry... I’ll help you walk! Home isn’t too far away.” He tells you, filling the silence between the two of you as you limp alongside him. “What’s your name?”

Your name- technically, you know what your name is, but you don’t like it when people call you by it. It feels wrong, like trying to force on a shirt several sizes too small. If nobody knows you down here, then maybe... Maybe you could choose a new one? A second passes before you know what you want to be called, one of the stars from your old astrology books coming to mind.

“Chara.” You tell him, voice quiet and raspy. He smiles.

“That’s a nice name! My name is Asriel.”

You turn your head away, and there’s an awkward pause before Asriel continues speaking. “Okay, um, my house is just around this corner, so we can fix you up soon! I would’ve done it when I found you but I’m not so good at healing magic yet. I wonder...” Asriel rambles a bit, you tuning out his words as you see the house in front of you. He’s been nice to you so far, but you don’t know his parents yet... Adults are usually a lot worse than kids, so you should be careful.

Opening the door, you flinch as Asriel yells, “Mom! I need help!” You hear a voice say something in reply, before a giant goat woman appears around the corner.

“Oh my!” She says, hands flying to her mouth. “Who’s this?”

“This is Chara, I found them by that big hole that goes through the top of the cavern... They’re hurt, can you help them?”

Asriel’s mother kneels, and you can’t help but to shrink away from her when she reaches large paws out towards you. She pauses, then turns to Asriel.

“Asriel, dear, would you please help them sit down and then go get your father for me?” She requests, and Asriel nods quickly, helping you into an oversized armchair before disappearing through a doorway.

The woman turns back to you. “May I heal your wounds? This will not hurt, I am merely going to use some healing magic to help you feel better.”

You nod, half afraid to say no to this new adult and half just wanting to be able to stand on your own again. She reaches out and you stiffen as she puts her paws over your leg, then relax minutely when your pain diminishes to almost nothing. Gingerly, you touch your ribcage and notice that those have been healed as well.

You stay still and keep your head down as she introduces herself to you. Toriel is an unusual name, but then again, there’s nothing familiar about this place. Then she asks you a question that gives you pause.

“You’re a human, aren’t you..?”

Gaze fixed on your lap, you give her a small nod. Humans... one of the books you read before you jumped told you that the humans had been the ones to lock the monsters underground. Of course, you hadn’t thought monsters were real then- The only ones deserving of that title, you think bitterly, are humans themselves.

Toriel begins speaking again, and you still, making sure to listen to her words. “I know you are just a child, but we still need to take caution. Please, come with me... I will take you to a room you may stay in.” She takes your hand and leads you down the hallway, opening the door to a child’s bedroom. 

“My husband will come to speak to you shortly. Do not worry, little one, we do not intend to hurt you.” Toriel says, her tone oddly comforting, before she leaves the room. You look around. There is a small bed, a dresser, and a box of toys. Standing still for a moment, you decide to go and sit on the bed while you wait. It would be rude to play with someone else’s toys, and you don’t want to do anything that will get you punished.

You sniffle, arms wrapping around your torso. Don’t cry, you tell yourself. You’re not a baby and big kids- or demons like you- don’t cry. There’s not anything you miss on the surface, so you don’t know why you’re upset. Maybe it’s because you couldn’t even die right.

You’re interrupted from your rumination by a soft knock on the door. It clicks open, revealing an even bigger goat monster. This one has a blonde beard, and an impressive set of horns.

“Hello, little one. My name is Asgore.” He approaches you, standing near the bed where you sit. “Are you hungry?” 

You shrug, face carefully neutral, but your stomach rumbling gives you away. Asgore chuckles. “I will make sure to bring you some food soon.” He says, before his tone becomes more somber. “I just need to ask you a few questions. Is that alright with you?”

You nod. “Did you fall from the hole near the ruins?” You nod again. Asgore sighs before continuing. “I am sorry to interrogate you like this, but humans do not often come here, and when they do...” He pauses. “It does not usually end well for us.” 

Numb, you digest his words before looking at him through your jagged bangs. “Did... did they hurt the monsters here?” 

Asgore looks mildly surprised, before nodding. “That is why we have to be cautious, young one- Though, it is not meant as an offense to you.”

“I understand.”

He pauses and smiles encouragingly at you. “You are doing well. I just need to know one more thing- Why did you climb this mountain?”

Your hands clench in your lap, face hot. “I...” For one moment you almost consider telling the truth, but then you remember who you’re talking to. This is an adult you’ve never met before- who’s to say he won’t react with anger? “I got lost. I couldn’t find my way out of the mountain, and I fell in.”

There’s a long silence, and after a moment you dare to peek up at Asgore again. Oddly, he looks... sad? You honestly thought you’d given the safe answer.

“Thank you for bearing with my questions. I will be right back with something for you to eat.” Turning away from you, he pads out of the room. His footsteps are surprisingly quiet, you observe as you watch him go. When he returns, he is carrying a large bowl of some sort of reddish-orange soup. You accept it from him, careful not to spill any. It’s warm and seems to have a healing touch on your insides, bruises becoming less painful as you eat.

When you’ve finished, you smile at him gratefully, or at least try to. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome, Chara. I am going to talk with Toriel for a moment- feel free to rest here.” Asgore tells you, leaving the room again. 

After he leaves, you tiptoe towards the door, peeking into the hallway. You can’t see them, but you can hear Asgore and Toriel having a quiet discussion.

“Asgore... That child was so terribly injured, I fear not all of it was from their fall. Did they tell you anything?”

“They... They would not tell me the reason they came to the mountain, just that they were lost. I am not sure what brought them there.” Asgore replies, then says something you can’t quite hear.

You freeze, still peeking through the cracked door. As you listen, you hear them agree that you are not dangerous to them. Satisfied with this information, you return to the bed and lay on your back. As least they don’t think you’re dangerous like the humans seem to- although, they would be wrong. You are dangerous. You hurt people without even trying, even when you don’t want to. That’s why you’re so bad. 

Why are they being so nice to you?

You’ve given them absolutely no reason to want to help you and yet, they do so anyways. 

Maybe monsters are just kinder than humans.

You roll onto your side and close your eyes. Might as well try to sleep before they realize how terrible you really are.