Work Text:
Akaashi Keiji has his own ways of saying he longs for Bokuto Koutarou.
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While Bokuto may not know of Keiji’s feelings, Keiji has a way to express what he feels without even saying a word.
Just a couple taps on whatever platform he can find.
Every so often Bokuto will catch the little taps that Keiji would do while they’re having dinner or while they play volleyball. His excuse? He gets fidgety.
During one of their practices Keiji is setting for Bokuto when Bokuto once again realized the taps Akaashi makes while holding the ball.
“Hey Keiji! Why do you keep tapping your fingers?” Bokuto asks, pointing at the his hands holding the ball.
“Ah, sorry. Is it distracting you?” He stops, placing his hands behind him to avoid any more distractions. Bokuto waves his hands around saying "No no no," as if he just did something offensive.
“Sorry! I was just curious,” Bokuto scratches his head, “You always do it when you’re with me.”
So he does know.
“Ah, it’s nothing, just fidgety.”
Bokuto nods, tossing a ball towards Keiji, which he responds with a graceful set.
With a sharp slam on the ball, it goes flying to the other end of the room. With it comes a strong slam a cheerful “Hey hey hey!”
Keiji smiles, tapping away.
“By the way, I’m planning on proposing to Yukie.” Bokuto tosses a ball upwards.
Keiji sets that ball in Bokuto’s direction, a high one, to give way to their current conversation. All while ignoring the stabbing pain in his chest.
So this is what heartbreak feels like.
“That’s great, Koutarou.” He forces on a smile. “When are you planning to do it?”
Don't cry.
“I was planning on doing it tonight.” Bokuto says with a smirk, running towards the ball Keiji sent his way. “We’re going out to dinner and I wanted to do it there.”
Bokuto spikes the ball, which is again sent flying to the other side of the court with a loud slam.
“Ah, why not do it tomorrow?” Keiji suggests, making his way to the bleachers to rest. He grabs a water bottle from his sports bag. “I mean it’s your game right? It would be cool you know, proposing to her after you guys win.”
“Oh, you think we’ll win?” Bokuto smirked, grabbing his own bottle.
“I mean, sure! Why not?” Keiji shrugs, unconsciously tapping at the bottle in his hands.
“There you go again!” Bokuto points to Keiji’s fingers.
“Sorry, it’s a habit.”
When Keiji gets home all he could do was cry. His breath hitched and his sobs got louder and louder. He couldn't even make it to his bed, only sliding down with his back against the door.
He was there clutching at his chest convincing himself that everything was gonna be alright.
Bokuto is happy, I should be happy too.
Right?
“It’s okay,” Keiji tries to lie to himself, “I’m fine.”
He definitely knows it isn't fine. He's not fine.
“I’m gonna be alright.”
He wasn’t gonna be okay and he knew it. He wasn’t alright and he knew it. But what could he do?
“Bokuto is happy so I should be too right?” Keiji forces another smile on his face, wiping the fresh tears with the sleeve of his sweater and blinking the rest away.
“I’m okay.”
Lies.
He gets up and walks to his work desk.
He visits the MSBY Black jackals the next morning.
“Hey Koutarou, good luck.” Keiji smiles, holding a little gift behind him so Bokuto doesn't get to excited.
“Thanks, I’m gonna need all the luck I can get!” Bokuto smiles, pulling up a thumbs up and his usual grin.
Behind him, the rest of the volleyball team calls.
"Bokuto-san! Let's go!" A familiar redhead chirps, jumping up to catch Bokuto's attention. He sees Keiji and waves his arms around to catch his attention. "Hi Akaashi-san!"
"Hello Hinata." Keiji sticks his hand up to wave hello. "Good luck on the game."
"Thanks Akaashi-san!" He turns to Bokuto. "Come on, captain's looking for you."
Hinata runs over to their setter, Miya Atsumu, who is currently having a one sided conversation with Sakusa.
“Well, I gotta go! Wish me luck!” Bokuto is about to turn and run towards his team but issent to a halt when Keiji grabs the sleeve of his shirt.
“Here, I have a gift for you before you go.” Keiji places a paper crane in his hand.
“A paper crane?”
“You know how they say paper cranes can grant wishes?,” Keiji paused. “Specifically the thousandth paper crane?”
“Woah really? That's so cool! Thanks Keiji,” Bokuto smiles, eyes beaming so brightly at the paper crane, “I’ll keep it beside me all the time!”
“You better, I wished for you guys to win the game and that Yukie says yes.”
Honestly, it was supposed to be used for something else, but what use would that wish be?
Keiji brings his hands behind his back to hide the fact that he is once again tapping his fingers.
“Bokuto-san! Hurry up!” Hinata calls again before being dragged back by their setter with a "Gah!"
“You should go.”
“See you later Keiji!” Bokuto waves one last time before enthusiastically skipping off towards the team with his usual "Hey Hey Hey!"
“Good luck.” Keiji whispers, once again tapping.
The black jackals won the game.
Just as Keiji suggested, Bokuto proposed to Yukie right there.
Yukie had run up to Bokuto, wrapping her arms around him. In return, Bokuto spins her around with his hands on her waist.
When Bokuto sets Yukie back down, he said a few words to Yukie.
The entire court screams when they see Bokuto grabing a velvet box from his bag on the bench. Even more so when he gets down on one knee. Keiji pulls out a polaroid camera from his bag and is quick to take a photo.
Click.
Yukie is surprised but nonetheless, wraps her arms around Bokuto and kisses him shouting words like “yes!” “I do!” And all the other words you say when you get proposed to.
Click.
There are lots of congratulations shared throughout the after match, along with several interviewers running up to them to interview the happy couple.
When Bokuto stares at Keiji up at the bleachers holding a polaroid camera, all Bokuto does is to give him a thumbs up and his iconic smile. Yukie looks back at Keiji too, showing off her ring.
Click.
Keiji nodded, consciously tapping at the railings.
“Hey, congratulations, you two.” Keiji smiled, holding a gift in front of the pair.
“Oh Keiji, you shouldn’t have.” Bokuto grabs the box from Keiji, He loos back at him as if asking for permission to open it.
“Go on, it’s yours, you can open it.”
Keiji watches Bokuto and Yukie unwrap the present.
It is a simple scrapbook that contained pictures of the two, pre engagement. It contains all the pictures Keiji took from the first time they met way back in Fukurodani up to their most recent date. All the photos Keiji has of them.
“Oh Keiji, it’s beautiful.” Bokuto smiles, flicking from page to page. every time he remembers a memory, he smiles, showing it to Yukie with a short description.
“Here’s an additional photo,” Keiji pulls out the photos he took of Bokuto proposing. “You guys can be the one to put it on.”
Keiji watches the smile on Bokuto’s face grow, followed by him locking eyes with the younger.
“Hey Yukie, can you go on ahead? I need to talk to Keiji for a bit.”
“Ah, sure!” Yukie nods, planting a kiss on her fiancé’s cheek. “Bye Keiji!”
Yukie waves at him, walking backwards towards the exit. Keiji just nods in her direction as his own way of saying "See you later."
“So, What’s up?”
“Well, I was wondering.” Bokuto smiles, scratching the back of his head shyly. “Would you like to be our best man?”
“M-Me?” Keiji asked, pointing at himself. “Why me?”
“Well, I mean you’re my best friend, plus you were the one who gave me the idea of proposing today.” Bokuto holds up the present. “Plus you got us an engagement present.”
“Don’t you need to talk it out with Yukie?”
“It’s fine, she loves you, you know. You're like her favorite person in the entire world, not including me by the way because I'm her number one." Bokuto laughs. “So, what do you say?”
Keiji smiled and nodded.
“I’d be honored, Koutarou.”
“Akaashi could you help me out?” Bokuto asks, holding up a tie in his hands.
“You know, you really do need to learn how to tie a tie, Koutarou.” Keiji grabs the tie from Bokuto and slings it above his head.
“I’ll learn eventually.” Bokuto pouts, combing a hand through his newly styled hair.
“Oy, don’t mess your hair up.” Keiji glares at Bokuto's hand. He makes a tiny peep, bringing the hand back down to his pocket.
“Sorry.”
Keiji works with the tie, stepping back to see how Bokuto looks like once he is finished. “Done.”
“Your hair is a bit wonky but you look good.” Keiji squints, running his hand through Bokuto's hair to fix it up, “You better not mess this up, Koutarou.”
“I won’t…” Bokuto smiles
Keiji resumes his place on the sofa while Bokuto is rereading his wedding vows paper. Keiji just sits there scrolling through his phone, tapping at his thigh every so often.
“Hey Keiji?”
“What’s up?” Keiji brings his phone down, looking straight at Bokuto.
“I don’t think I say this a lot but thanks,” Bokuto starts, “Thanks for always being there for me, thanks for always rooting for me, for making me feel happy when I’m down, for all the times you help me when I mess up, and for being a great friend all in all.”
How he wishes Bokuto would know that he sees him as more than just a friend.
“Any time.”
The wedding is beautiful.
A beach wedding, like Bokuto's always wanted.
Keiji stands next to a lot of familiar faces; Hinata Shouyou, Miya Atsumu, Sakusa Kiyoomi, and Kuroo Tetsurou.
Being the Best Man, Keiji has to stand behind the groom.
As Bokuto and his Fiancée exchanged their vows their best man, Akaashi Keiji, is endlessly tapping at his thigh trying to keep a forced smile on his face.
“I do.”
“I do.”
“I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride.”
The two kissed, followed by cheers and howls from the audience.
The taps on Keiji’s thigh were only getting quicker and quicker but he just smiled at the newlyweds.
The wedding buffet is loud and eventful.
He is seated beside Yukie and Yachi Hitoka, one of the bridesmaids. Since Keiji knew both girls it is very easy to get along with them.
After dinner, Keiji is given time to recite his best man speech.
“In the end, I just want you two to be happy and hope that even if you two are married, you won’t forget about your good times with me.” Keiji grabs the cup of wine on his table. “And to end my dashingly amazing speech I would like to give a toast to Koutarou and Yukie Bokuto.”
After the toast Keiji is seated once again, quietly sipping on the red liquid in his cup. Everyone is talking, chattering, laughing, and Keiji is just here sipping his wine in silence.
Everyone eventually stops talking when a soft song is played. Yukie is quick to get up, dragging Bokuto upwards with her. He watches the newlyweds led the floor with their first dance as husband and wife.
A few others join in with them but Keiji just sits there. All alone.
As he is.
Keiji leaves halfway through the song, taking the pathway lading towards the ocean, all while keeping his eyes on the moon just a small way from the ocean’s view.
The sound of waves are prominent as Keiji watches the waves make close contact with his leather shoes, some splashes landing on the very top.
Keiji steps back a bit and sits underneath the moonlight, unconscious of the tears that were forming in his eyes.
After what seemed like a minute, Keiji is distracted by the sounds of footprints coming his way.
“Hey.” Tsukishima calls from behind Keiji.
“Hey.” Keiji wipes the tears in his eyes.
“Mind if I?” Tsukishima asks, pointing at the ground beside Keiji. Keiji, in response, motioned to the spot as if saying ‘go ahead’.
Tsukishima sits beside Keiji.
“Aren't you gonna dance?” Keiji asks, striking up a conversation with the blond.
“Nah, Tetsu left, I don’t know where he is right now.” Tsukishima says, looking up at the stars. “What’re you doing here anyway?”
“Getting some fresh air.”
“Hm, You haven’t told him, have you?” Tsukishima asks, stealing a quick glance at Keiji. “That you like him?”
“So you knew, huh?” Keiji sighs, hugging his knees closer to his chest. “How’d you find out?”
“Everyone knew.” Tsukishima looks back up at the stars with a shrug, “Plus, you’ve been tapping ‘I Love You’ in Morse code literally every time you’re together.”
“You know Morse code?” Keiji asks the blond who just nods.
“My father was a sailor, me and my brother used it to communicate with him.” Tsukishima pauses, followed by a smile, a soft laugh escapes his lips. He didn’t even have to look anymore to hear the tapping. “You’re doing it again.”
“Sorry, habits die hard.” Keiji grips the tapping hand with his other.
“Come on, let’s go inside.” Tsukishima stands up, extending his hand forward.
Keiji grabs it and Tsukishima pulls him up.
“Don’t let it bother you, huh?”
“I won’t.”
The two walked back to their table where Kuroo sat, waiting for Tsukishima. Tsukishima reluctantly looks at Keiji as if he didn't want to leave him.
“Go on, I’ll be fine.” Keiji says, grabbing a cup of wine from a waiter.
He watches Tsukishima join his boyfriend on the dance floor followed by even more people. A lot of them being familiar faces, people he used to play with in the past, all taking their lovers hand.
Eventually, everyone had left Keiji’s table. He sits there all alone with nothing but the wine to keep him company.
Drink after drink he is there watching everyone else dance with their dates.
Eventually his eyes made its way to Bokuto and Yukie.
Bokuto never knew. He never knew the pain it left Keiji when he went off with their Fukurodani manager, Yukie, he never knew how much Keiji cried after hearing that Bokuto wanted to propose, he never knew how much it pained Keiji looking at the photos in the scrapbook he made, he never knew that it was slowly eating Keiji alive whenever he was planning for their wedding, he never knew that it was killing Keiji that this wouldn’t be his happy ending. Bokuto never knew.
“If only you understood.” Keiji thought, watching as the person he loves dances with someone else.
Bokuto looks back at Keiji and smiles.
What caught his attention was the tapping Bokuto was doing with his own fingers.
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