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who i am now

Summary:

Jason walks in on Percy in a compromising situation and Percy has to decide whether it's time to trust his friends with the truth.

Notes:

i do not claim medical accuracy, i wrote this when i was 13 and still learning. i'm still learning now. i'm not a trans male so i don't claim this as being representative of the trans experience.

Work Text:

Percy sat in his cabin on the Argo II, the syringe in his hand. He was on his bed in nothing but his boxers and a binder, planning on getting dressed right after the shot. The needle went into his thigh, but Percy was used to the pinching feeling it always brought. He did nothing but wince and keep pushing the liquid out of the syringe.

He was totally taken off guard when the door opened and Jason popped his head in.

“Shit Jason!” he all but yelled in surprise. “Get out!”

Jason's eyes widened and he slammed the door shut, one of the pictures on the back of the door falling to the floor. Percy took the needle out of his leg and shakily stood up to put the photo back.

He picked it up gingerly, thumbing the image of little thirteen year old Annabeth hugging a thirteen year old girl with black hair and a toothless smile that didn't quite reach her green eyes. He sighed and tacked the picture back on the door. 

Percy didn't know why he'd decided to keep that picture. Maybe it was just because he didn't want to forget it just as much as he did want to. He went back to his bed and lied down to hug his pillow. What did Jason think when he saw him? Would he tell anyone? What would they make of it? What would they think of him?

He groaned and buried his face in the pillow. A knock on the door made Percy lift his head in time to see it open, but this time it was Annabeth.

“Hey Seaweed Brain,” she said. “I heard the door slam and came to see what was up.” She frowned at the sight of Percy's current state and walked over to the bed, sitting down next to him. “Percy, what's wrong?”

“Jason saw me doing my T shot,” Percy mumbled.

Annabeth nodded. “Maybe it's time you told them,” she suggested. “They deserve to know. But not unless you're not ready, of course.” She pecked Percy on the cheek and stood up. “I'm always here to talk, okay?”

Percy watched her go and close the door behind her. He heaved a sigh and rolled onto his back. Maybe it was time he told them.

 

Everyone was at breakfast that morning, and Percy had hoped they wouldn't be. Then he'd have an excuse to hold off on his announcement. 

He trudged to his seat next to Annabeth, regarding Jason warily, but he just looked down at his waffles and avoided Percy's gaze. Percy sat down and some blue pancakes appeared on his plate. A ghost of a smile crept onto his lips.

Annabeth nudged him and gave him a look, to which Percy returned with a look of his own that said, I know, I'm working on it.

He hesitantly cleared his throat to gain everyone's attention. They all looked up at him quizzically, even Jason, though his expression was more one of concern than of confusion. 

“I uh, I have something important to say that I think you all deserve to know.” Percy bit his lip and closed his eyes. He felt Annabeth place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He opened his eyes again. Better to get it out now. Just like ripping off a bandaid. But ripping off a bandaid was painful.

He internally growled at himself in frustration. 

“I'm transgender,” his mouth spit out before his brain had fully comprehended what he was saying. He continued, his words spilling over each other he was speaking so fast. “I was born a girl named Penelope, but I didn't feel like I was a girl, because I wasn't. I've been taking testosterone for the past couple of years. That's what you saw earlier, Jason. I just thought it's about time you all knew.”

He looked down. He couldn't look at their faces. He just couldn't. He couldn't stand the silence either. No one said anything for a while.

Suddenly, Leo's voice cut through the quiet like a sword through a monster. “Well, girl or boy, you can kick some serious ass.”

Percy looked up and saw the elfish boy grinning like an absolute maniac. A corner of his mouth twitched up as well.

“As long as you're happy, I'm happy,” Frank said.

A chorus of “yeahs” and “what he saids” were heard around the table.

“Anyone wanna ask any questions?” Percy asked.

“When did you know?” Piper said.

“When I was thirteen. I found some information and realized I felt the same way a lot of others did and it just sort of clicked.”

Jason raised his hand. “Who else knows?”

“Anyone who was at camp before Percy's third quest,” Annabeth answered as she leaned her head on Percy's shoulder, looping her arm through his. 

“So does Thalia know?”

Percy and Annabeth both nodded.

“Well,” Hazel looked around at everyone, “we accept you.”

Percy couldn't keep the huge grin off his face.