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To say Obi-Wan has had a rough week would be an understatement.
The start of the week began with him getting pulled out of his training session with some of the other knights because Anakin got in a fight. His padawan has been spending most of his time working with the creche master to supplement what he missed in starting his Jedi training so late. Apparently one of the bold younglings decided it would be hilarious to make fun of Anakin for being so behind.
He didn't handle the torment gracefully.
Obi-Wan found him sitting on a bench outside Grandmaster Yoda's meditation quarters. His arms were crossed in front of him and his face was dark and twisted up in frustration. When he saw his master approach he seemed to panic for a moment.
"Master Obi-Wan," Anakin said quickly and jumped to his feet to bow.
"I see you've found yourself in a bit of trouble, my padawan," Obi-Wan said, stopping in front of him. He reached down to tilt the boy's cheek up and get a good look at him. A dark red mark was already blooming with tinges of purple across his cheekbone. Anakin cradled his hands against his chest and Obi-Wan noticed light bruising along his knuckles and wrists as well.
"Rui started it, Master! He said I would never catch up and--"
"Anakin, it wasn't right for Rui to taunt you, but neither was hitting him."
He could feel Anakin's frustration leaking through their training bond. "I'm tired of training with the younglings," he looked up at Obi-Wan with those little kid puppy dog eyes he likes to exploit. "I thought you were supposed to be training me."
Obi-Wan had sighed and sat down on the bench, gesturing for Anakin to sit next to him. "You must understand, your situation is very unusual. Usually, younglings are babies when they come to the Temple and they have years of training in the initiate clans as initiates before becoming padawans. There are many foundational skills you must learn, and the clan masters are the best people to instruct you."
"Qui-Gon said he would train me to be a great Jedi. Not Clan Master Thuku."
And not you.
Of course, Anakin didn't say this, but Obi-Wan couldn't help but find it popping into his mind. The mention of Qui-Gon put him on edge. Usually, the young padawan is better about not bringing up Obi-Wan's deceased master, but when his emotions are clouding his mind there is no telling the things that will come out of his mouth.
"Even if Qui-Gon were your master you would still have to go through this process, padawan."
"I don't believe you," Anakin said coldly, standing up from the bench. Obi-Wan stared at his back, eyeing the tiny blonde braid that barely reaches the boy's shoulder.
"Believe what you wish, but it is the truth. As for your behavior, I expect you to meditate upon this anger and frustration. We can continue this discussion at supper when you have a clear mind."
Obi-Wan brushed past the young boy and headed back to the training room. He had his own frustration to work through.
Two days later Obi-Wan sat on the couch reading with a hot cup of tea while Anakin worked quietly on his homework on one of the datapads. He could feel his padawan looking up at him often from the table but then reverting his attention back to his datapad. After several more instances, Obi-Wan finally sighed and looked over at him.
"What is it?"
"What is what?"
"You seem like you would like to say something."
Anakin paused, tugging at his braid.
"Well... I was at the landing pads today--"
"The landing pads? Why in blazes were you there?"
"...no reason."
"Didn't you have class?"
A pause.
"We... got out early."
Obi-Wan knows this is a lie but that's a lecture for another time. "Okay, so what about the landing pads?"
"I was at the landing pads and I heard someone say a funny word. But when I told my friend Tokol about it he said it was a..." Anakin leaned forward, cupping one hand off to the side of his mouth like he's was revealing a private detail despite them being the only two in the room. "... sex word."
Obi-Wan was pretty sure he could feel his blood pressure rise.
"It was probably a bad word, then Anakin. You shouldn't repeat it."
"But don't you want to know what the word was?" Obi-Wan scratched at the stubble across his chin. Did he want to know what it was?
"I'm not quite sure--"
"It was fuck."
Obi-Wan blinked in surprise.
"Well... yes that is a bad word. And you shouldn't repeat it."
Anakin's head cocked to the side. "What makes it bad?"
Obi-Wan could feel his cheeks heating up. What kind of questions were those? Was he supposed to answer honestly or redirect him or...
"Uh, well, you see it is a word that is associated with... inappropriate topics that children your age should not be talking about."
"You mean sex?"
"Well... yes."
"Oh," Anakin seemed fairly satisfied by this explanation, dropping his hand from nervously fiddling with his braid. Obi-Wan was relieved until the boy opened his mouth once again. "Can I ask another question?"
I would prefer you didn't. Obi-Wan thought. "Yes Padawan, what is it?"
"What is sex?"
The end of the week brought a new host of problems.
Obi-Wan has gotten far too few hours of sleep over the previous three days. Whether it was due to Anakin waking him about his nightmares, or Obi-Wan's own racing mind preventing him from falling asleep at a decent hour didn't matter. What he did know is multiple people had called him out for looking utterly dreadful and he agreed with them. The dark circles under his eyes were especially pronounced, and he'd skipped out on trimming his developing beard so it had become quite patchy.
On top of it all, Anakin woke up with horrible congestion, flushed cheeks, and a chill that caused his body to constantly tremor.
The healers confirmed he had contracted a stomach virus.
Now he has the boy curled up against his side on the couch, his feverish cheek pressed into his shoulder as he snoozes after a particularly rough spell of nausea. Every blanket in their entire shared quarters is thrown over Anakin yet he still shakes slightly. Obi-Wan stays as still as possible, afraid to move and wake him.
The fevers haven't been kind in terms of making Anakin's dreams even more strange and frightening for the young child. He feels obligated to let the boy get as much good rest as he can.
If only he could also indulge in some rest.
Exhaustion still nips bitterly at Obi-Wan's body. His eyelids are droopy and his mind is in a fog. Despite numerous attempts to meditate he can't seem to find his center. Anxiety has begun to overtake his psyche.
Simply put, he's overwhelmed. It's not a feeling he often has to confront-- a Jedi must be able to compartmentalize quickly and adjust efficiently-- but the complete 180 his life has taken since Qui-Gon toted the young slave boy from Tatooine back with him has been slowly building up over the last few months. First, it was self-consciousness over the sudden push for him to be knighted-- like he's an inconvenience rather than a student. A partner. Then it was the grief, though, that did a good job of completely numbing Obi-Wan for a few weeks. Once the shock wore off, it all began to hit him at once.
The sadness.
The loss.
Confusion.
Frustration.
Embarrassment.
And to top it all off, he is responsible for a temperamental padawan of his own. As much as Obi-Wan wanted to be a teacher he thought he would at least have a few years on his own before taking up that responsibility. With everything moving so fast he just feels inadequate. Underprepared.
Obi-Wan needs an adult. Granted, as a knight in his mid-twenties he is technically a legal adult... sometimes he just feels like he needs someone more responsible to help guide him. An adultier adult.
He sighs, softly brushing a strand of Anakin's blonde hair out of his eyes.
Who he needs is his own Master. He needs Qui-Gon.
Qui-Gon would know what to do. He would know how to explain to Anakin the importance of his introductory lessons in the creche. Or uncomfortable topics like sex and the ethics of curse words. He'd know how to properly talk through a nightmare and have a bunch of techniques for making a young sick boy feel better. He always knew what to say.
Obi-Wan doesn't share that talent. Nor did he learn it from his old master. Sure, Obi-Wan can charm his way through a diplomatic dinner party, but charisma means nothing in the face of child-raising.
Anakin shifts in his sleep, curling the other way to lean on the pillow rather than his master. Obi-Wan sighs in relief, scooting to the side slowly before tucking the blankets under Anakin to lock in the heat. He could use a few minutes to himself to attempt to meditate once more.
But Obi-Wan doesn't go to his room to meditate. He doesn't go to one of the numerous rooms devoted to connecting with the Force in the Temple either. Instead, he finds himself standing in front of Grandmaster Yoda's quarters, not quite sure where his mind is, but he knows his body took him here.
Frankly, he's too exhausted to question the fact it seems his unconscious mind has decided to take over.
"Knight Kenobi," Yoda says as he opens the door to his quarters, seemingly unsurprised to see him there. "Come in."
Obi-Wan strides in, immediately sitting down on one of Yoda's meditation pillows he has arranged in the living room space. "I apologize for showing up out of the blue but..."
"Something on your mind, is there?"
Obi-Wan suspects Master Yoda already knows the answer to his own question.
"Well... yes. I'm feeling a bit lost, Master Yoda."
"Problems with your new padawan?"
"I wouldn't say problems... Incompatibilities in our relationship as master and padawan, I suppose."
Yoda hums in a low tone-- almost amused-- taking his own seat across from Obi-Wan and laying his walking stick in front of him. "Early in your journey, it is, Obi-Wan. Trust takes time to form. Know this very well, you should."
Obi-Wan looks down at his lap. He and Qui-Gon weren't always a good team. In fact, they took many years to find a good rhythm.
"I just... I want to train Anakin and be a good master, but I'm not sure if I know how."
"Other padawans before you, Qui-Gon had. Remember this you must. The first padawan a knight takes is a new type of responsibility and requires as much studying and training as the creche. Easy it will not be. The first never is. Fail you will. Many times. But it is in failure we learn important lessons."
The pressure finally releases off Obi-Wan's chest. Of course, he completely neglected the fact that Qui-Gon had padawans before Obi-Wan. He'd had years of trials and tribulations to figure out the right things to say and do. Even so, he wasn't a perfect master by any means.
Which means Obi-Wan certainly isn't expected to be perfect either.
"Master Jinn always told me not to center on my anxieties. I suppose that is exactly what I'm doing."
Yoda smiles fondly. "Much distress in a short time you have been through. Blame you, the council does not, for struggling in your adjustment. Recognize you for your patience and hard work, we do."
Warmth spreads through Obi-Wan's body. He feels more validated and confident than he has felt in weeks. He smiles and bows to Master Yoda.
"Thank you, Master, for your wise advice. It has given me a clearer perspective."
Yoda bows back. "Anytime my door is open. For now, meditate on your anxieties you should. After a good night's rest, I advise." he says with a pointed look. Obi-Wan's cheeks bloom pink. Yoda didn't quite tell him he looked terrible as his fellow knights had, but the implications were there.
He stands, bidding the Grandmaster a good night and heading toward the door.
"Honey ginger tea," Yoda calls out suddenly.
"Master?"
"Good for settling the stomach, honey ginger tea is," he says with a smile.
Obi-Wan returns to his quarters and finds that Anakin hasn't moved from his spot on the couch. However, as the door closes he spots the boy's eyes fly open, gazing around the room with confusion.
"Master?" he says hoarsely.
Obi-Wan crosses the room so he's in clear view of his padawan. Even from a meter or so away he can see the sickness in Anakin's clouded gaze and pale skin. His heart thrums with pity for the poor kid.
"I'm here, padawan. I didn't mean to wake you."
Anakin rubs his eyes with the back of his hands. " 's okay. I should go to my bed," The boy pushes himself to a sitting position but quickly slumps back over the arm of the couch, groaning dramatically. Obi-Wan chuckles and sits down at the edge of the couch next to Anakin's knees. He puts a hand over the sickly padawan's forehead. It's hot, but not quite as warm as it was earlier. Progress.
"How is your stomach?"
"A little better."
"Better enough to try and eat?"
Anakin's nose scrunched up in disgust. That answers that question.
Obi-Wan suddenly remembers Master Yoda's advice. A padawan requires studying and training.
"Tell me, Anakin. When you were with your mother, what comforted you when you were sick?"
Anakin's eyes grow wide with surprise at the mention of his mother. Obi-Wan hardly ever brings up Shmi... he always thought it to be in poor taste to remind him of her. To his relief, a weak smile spreads across the child's face.
"There was a woman that lived down the road who had a tub. My mom would do some tasks around her house in trade for me to take a warm bath there. Then she would carry me home so I didn't get any sand in my shoes and she'd have my bed all ready with fresh sheets. Then she'd tell me a story or sing me a song while rubbing my back."
Anakin recites the details with a mix of nostalgia and sadness. He misses her. Obi-Wan certainly cannot replace the love of a biological mother, but he's instantly swelled with the desire to at least try and give him a bit of comfort.
"Luckily we have significantly less sand here on Coruscant. How about I go run you a bath? Would that help you feel a little better?"
Anakin's eyes go wide with that boyish look that makes him look even younger than he actually is. "You'd do that?"
Obi-Wan pats his shoulder. "Of course, my padawan. I don't take any pleasure in seeing you ill."
"Will you even tell me a story?"
He chuckles, standing and pulling Anakin to his feet. Obi-Wan walks him toward the bathroom with his hand resting on the nape of his padawan's neck. "I do have much to tell you from that mission the council sent me on a few weeks ago. The mission itself was quite uneventful but I did meet a quite spirited cargo pilot that had some exciting anecdotes. And... maybe we can talk a little bit about adding some extra training sessions to get you through your creche training quicker."
Obi-Wan can feel the excitement and appreciation rise in Anakin through their bond as he starts babbling about more advanced lightsaber forms and going on missions. Maybe his stressful week will have some reprieve after all.