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Adora woke up to the cold space beside her. Normally she would’ve shrugged it off. Ever since she had joined the Rebellion she had been forced to get used to the chill that came with waking up without that familiar warmth at the foot of her bed, or the sounds her squad mates made while sleeping. The things she’d gotten accustomed to her whole life and that anybody would’ve found annoying but Adora found familiar and soothing, had been ripped away by her own choices. After joining the Rebellion, she’d spent months trying to get used to the brightness of the moonstone during the night, the eerie quiet in her bedroom and the empty space beside her.
This time was different. Even half-conscious, Adora knew that a certain someone should have been next to her but wasn’t there. With her eyes still closed she reached out a hand across the bed in hopes to come in contact with that familiar warmth, the crease between Adora’s eyes deepening when her hand found nothing. Her eyes fluttered open and lazily glanced around the dark room once, twice, still nothing. She raised her head from the pillow trying to sit up, when a searing pain spread through her body like wildfire.
Adora hissed in pain, letting her head fall back against the pillow as her left one wrapped around her torso where she felt a small bump. She carefully raised her white shirt and glanced down at her bandaged side, huffing in frustration at the tiny blotch of red she saw. Her eyes closed as she sighed.
She decided to attempt again, this time achieving her goal through gritted teeth and a tiny million pins stabbing at her injury. A bead of sweat rolled down her forehead even though it wouldn’t have been fitting to describe the ship’s temperature as “warm”. Space was revealing to be pretty cold compared to the mild climate of Etheria. Despite that, her clothes clung uncomfortably to her body because of the cold sweat breaking out on her skin.
Adora swung—er— slowly pushed her legs off the bed, her feet meeting the cold metal flooring of the ship. She carefully pushed herself to her feet and laid a hand on the wall to steady herself. When she had found her balance she started walking towards the doors of her room, which opened automatically with a low hiss.
The hallway was as dark as her quarters, unsurprisingly. Time was weird in space but she was pretty sure all of her friends would be asleep by now. Well, she could never be sure about Entrapta, she wasn’t even sure the girl slept at all. She had to right? She shrugged it off. Some questions were meant to be left unanswered.
She made her way to the control room, using the wall as support.
She found Catra perched on the console board, one leg swung over the edge, the other hugged closely to her chest . Her chin rested on her forearm while she stared out into space at the billions upon billions of stars that shone in the darkness. It was an other-worldly kind of beauty, mysterious and sinister.
Catra’s eyes scanned the view with tired eyes, her hair still messy and her lean silhouette small compared to the vastness of space. Adora’s breath caught in her throat as she stopped in her tracks and leaned against the door frame and stared. She didn’t think she would ever get used to Catra’s beauty and the fact that she now got to call her her girlfriend. The thought makes a giddy feeling spread through her body, a smile tugging at her lips.
Catra’s ears perked up at the sound of the door opening and one twisted in Adora’s direction, immediately followed by the feline’s head.
Cute.
“Adora,” the husky voice and those heterochromatic eyes staring at her, made Adora’s stomach flip on its head. “What are you doing? You should be in bed”
Adora took a step towards her and made a movement with her hand to wave off her concerns. “I’m fine.”
Catra jumped off the console, rolling her eyes at the blonde. “Sure, you have a gash on your side the size of my forearm and poison in your system but you’re fine.”
The feline made her way to Adora and crossed her arms in front of her chest.
Adora smirked and cockily raised an eyebrow. “You forget I’m She-ra.”
Catra scoffed back. “Go back to bed, Adora.”
She turned away reclaiming her spot on the ship’s console, this time tucking both of her knees against her chest and wrapping her tail around herself. Adora’s smirk fell, replaced by a frown. Normally she would’ve just attributed Catra’s behavior to sleep deprivation mixed with her normal grumpy attitude, but lately she’d learned she didn’t understand a lot about her and was trying her best to not be… well, as oblivious as she usually was.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing,” Catra replied nonchalantly.
Ok. That was a blatant lie.
“Oh c’mon, I handed that one on a silver platter,” Adora said, making her way towards the console.
In the dark, Adora saw Catra’s jaw clench. “Whatever, Adora.”
“I would go back to bed but it’s cold without you,” she laid a hand on Catra’s thigh and felt her tense under her touch. Something was seriously bothering her.
“Catra?” the feline turned her head towards her and Adora saw that her eyes were glistening. “Hey, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”
“Nothing, Adora. Can you please just leave me alone?” Catra pushed Adora’s hand off of her thigh and swung off the console once more, landing on the metal floor with a thud. She was about to walk away, when Adora grabbed her wrist to keep her from leaving. Too late she realized that reaching out with the arm on the side her injury was on was definitely not a good idea.
Pain flared up her torso again, making her gasp and let go of Catra in favor of clutching her side. She clenched her eyes shut and leaned on the console.
Catra was by her side seconds later, holding her steady. “Adora!”
The blonde forced her eyes open and found herself staring at a really concerned Catra. “I’m ok, I’m ok.”
“I told you, you shouldn’t have gotten out of bed.” Catra hissed at her.
“Yeah and I told you I was cold without you,” Adora replied.
The two stared at each other stubbornly before Adora sighed with exhaustion as Catra looked away. Why was it that she always screwed things up with Catra? Couldn’t her brain say something right for once? Just one time could she maybe do something right with her? Apparently not.
“Look, I—” she ran a hand through her already messy hair, which was resting on her shoulders. “I’m sorry for whatever I did to upset you.”
Catra looked up at her again, her expression unreadable. “Can I maybe know what it is so we can go to bed?”
Catra’s hands slipped off Adora’s shoulders as she went to hug herself, her gaze shifting down to the floor. For a moment Adora thought the feline would tell her off and storm away like she’d been planning to minutes before, but then she sighed deeply. She was just as exhausted as Adora was, if not more.
“I just—” she paused as Adora stared at her expectantly. “I thought we were over the whole ‘rushing into battle and almost getting ourselves killed’ thing.”
Adora’s lips parted. So much for not being oblivious, she thought.
“I remember very clearly you agreeing to not being the hero all the time, and yet today you almost got yourself killed again because you had to swoop in and save the day.”
“Catra, I— I’m sorry but those people needed help.” Adora said.
“You could’ve waited for backup, you could’ve asked the others for help, you could’ve asked me for help,” Catra said sternly.
“It’s all about the teamwork or something,” she continued in a bad imitation of Bow. Adora noticed that although Catra was glaring at her, unshed tears glistened in her eyes. She felt the urge to hit herself. Why did she always have to mess things up?
“I’m sorry,” her voice was barely above a whisper. She cleared her throat and repeated the words louder. “I’m sorry, Catra. I was just trying to help.”
Adora sighed. “I’m a dumbass,”
“Yeah, no shit,” the feline replied, sniffling.
“I’m sorry—”
“Stop apologizing, Adora.”
“I’m—” she stopped herself. “I don’t notice. I know it sounds like a lame excuse but I really don’t”
Adora sighed. In the Horde she’d been taught that a Force Captain was supposed to be a leader, a role model for the other soldiers and cadets to follow. A Force Captain was brave and strategic. Adora had always tried to look out for everyone in her squadron, never letting anyone dare lay a finger on them and instead taking the fight for herself whenever she could. Shadow Weaver had hated that. She’d always told Adora that she was more important than all of them put together. That she had great plans for her future and a destiny to fulfill and that a Force Captain always knew which soldiers were expendable and which were valuable, but Adora knew the kind of leader she wanted and had to be was one that didn’t consider anyone expendable. A leader that always put the good of others first and did everything in their power to make sure they came home safe.
Without meaning to, Shadow Weaver had been the one to teach her that, too. Through Catra. She’d always reprimanded Adora when her best friend showed up late to practice, or didn’t do well in simulations or caused mischief around the base. Shadow Weaver had always tried to tear them apart and yet she’d only made their bond stronger. From the very first day she’d met Catra, Adora had done everything in her power to protect her, especially her.
Of course only years later with an intergalactic threat hanging over their heads, Shadow Weaver still trying to get inside their heads and not one but several gestures in the face of death, would Adora learn that it had been because she’d always been in love with Catra. She’d always known she loved Catra, her best friend, the one who had taught her what love even was in the first place. But Adora was utterly and hopelessly in love with her. Two very different things.
How was she supposed to put this into words?
“I’ll try to do better. I’m trying, I’m just apparently really, really bad at it,” Catra let out a scoff.
Adora reached out to touch her, then hesitated. “But I need you to tell me, even if I get mad or frustrated. Especially then. Because I’m no good at any of this. I need to learn a lot of things and unlearn even more, but I want to. And I never want to make you feel like you have to keep your feelings hidden from me, ever again okay?”
Adora waited. Heterochromatic eyes stared into her blue ones, analizing as if they were still cadets trying to find each other’s weak points.
Finally, Catra sighed. “You’re such an idiot, you know that?”
A smile tugged at Adora’s lips. “Yeah, I’ve been told once or twice.”
“Oh yeah? Who from? Sounds like a smart person,” Catra moved closer to the blonde, who put her arm around her waist avoiding her injury. Adora smiled at the way the feline’s tail curled around her left calf.
“The smartest,” Adora agreed.
Catra hummed as Adora continued. “And the strongest and the funniest and the most breathtaking…
“Sounds like a catch.”
“Yeah. And the best part?”
“What’s that?” Catra asked.
“She keeps me grounded even when we’re in space.”
Catra chuckled at that. “Dork.”
“And one more thing,” Catra looked at her expectantly.
“I love you,” Adora said pressing their foreheads together. She felt a purr erupt in the feline’s chest as she closed her eyes.
“I love you too.”