Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Huh. I would’ve figured you for a jock.”

Zeb froze before turning, incredulous, to the source of the comment. An obnoxiously handsome blonde kid about his age stood off to the side with an obnoxiously thoughtful look on his obnoxious face. “What?”

“I said, I would’ve figured you for a jock. You’ve got the build. But judging from your shirt, you’re here for theater camp too, aren’t you?”

Zeb sighed this time, looking down at his “Into the Woods” shirt with the cast listed on the back. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I’m here for theater camp. I guess you are?”

“Alex Kallus,” the obnoxious kid said, extending a hand. “Lead actor.”

“Zeb Orrelios,” he replied, shaking Alex’s hand almost reluctantly. “Run crew. Flies.”

Understanding dawned in Alex’s eyes. “Ah, that explains the muscles. Got it. Well, I’d better sign in before auditions start. See you later, Zeb Orrelios, run crew.” He strode off further into the arts center, leaving Zeb rolling his eyes.

Fuckin’ actors.

Chapter Text

Senior year was off to a pretty good start.  It was late September now, and Zeb Orrelios was pretty well settled back into his school year routine, but with the added bittersweet excitement that this was the last year of said routine. Sliding his backpack off his shoulder and opening his locker first thing in the morning was as familiar as waking up, at least until he glanced to his left.

Zeb did a literal double-take.  Surely that was NOT Alex Kallus from theater camp, closing and locking the locker two down from his.  But it was.  In an Alliance Academy uniform.  And he noticed that someone was staring at him, and looked at Zeb.

“Zeb, hello!” Alex said, with obvious effort at being friendly.  “I, uh, I didn’t know you go here…”

Zeb blinked and looked at Alex blankly.  “Alliance Academy was on literally every shirt I wore this summer.”

"Right, haha, yeah, I forgot. Um, well, gotta get to homeroom. Can’t be late on my first day. Uh, catch you… later?”

Alex was already hurrying down the hall before Zeb could respond with a slightly puzzled “Sure.”  Great. That guy. “Lead actor.” Somehow it made it worse that he had ended up with the lead at camp, with his stupid hair and his stupid leading-man face... Ughh, hadn’t he left that awkwardness behind at camp? Now it had to be right under his nose all year? Dammit. Zeb jammed his first period books in his backpack, slammed his locker shut, and stomped his way to homeroom. It wasn’t until he was zoning out during morning announcements that he realized that Alex’s signature cockiness was missing in that exchange, and what was that yellow-green smudge under his eye? Probably wearing makeup. Ugh, actors. So fucking dramatic, he thought, dismissively.

*****

Alex sat quietly during homeroom, hoping not to draw attention, though he did notice a few curious stares from other students who obviously wondered who this kid who suddenly appeared in their homeroom was. That was fine. Introductions could wait. After what happened at ISB, he needed to ease into this school’s social culture.  Needed to know what people were like. Needed to not reveal too much of himself before he knew how others would respond. Though that Zeb guy being here could be awkward. Him and his muscles and his perfect tan and… well, they hadn’t gotten to know each other too well at camp. But what if…?

The sound of the PA system crackling and a voice greeting the student body snapped him out of his thoughts. Morning announcements. Good. Something else to focus on.  Today’s lunch menu, student birthdays of the day, reminders about today’s soccer game and tomorrow’s football game. And then an announcement that auditions for the drama club’s Fall production, Macbeth, would be on Tuesday after school. That perked him up.  That’s what he was desperately waiting for, yes. Alex whipped open his planner and scribbled in “AUDITIONS! 3 PM!” on Tuesday’s block. He relaxed just slightly. His escape would be available sooner than he had dared to hope. 

And then… “Finally, we have a new student starting here today in the senior class. Alex Kallus is a late transfer, so if you see him in the hall or in your classes, be sure to welcome him and help him get acclimated!”

Alex had to fight the urge to sink under his desk when 24 other pairs of eyes all swiveled to his position. Instead, he straightened in his seat, smiled (a little hesitantly, but hopefully nobody noticed that), and waved.  Several students waved back, most smiled, and one even said “Welcome to Alliance!”  Alex let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding.

*****

Zeb let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. After scanning around his first period classroom, he found no Alex Kallus. Good. He figured he’d have to be the one to help the new kid if anybody knew they were already acquainted. Having classes with him would just throw them together more, and he already suspected he’d have to hold his hand through drama club. Ugh, “hold his hand,” wasn’t there a better phrase for that??? Anyway. At least they didn’t share a homeroom, and they didn’t share this class. 

Ms. Syndulla walked in, greeting the students and putting an end to Zeb’s mental hamster-wheeling. At least he had done the reading this time. Beowulf was actually pretty cool.

*****

Well. First period hadn’t been too painful. AP English was going to be a piece of cake. They were still on the Illiad, and Alex had read that three times already. And his Shakespeare elective in second period seemed like it would be fun, too, and actually get into some of the plays nobody reads. Plus, the same teacher taught both, so that reduced the amount of classrooms he had to find. This 80-minute period block schedule would take some getting used to, though. That and having to meet all his classmates. Alex reminded himself that he didn’t have to make a lot of friends; he would only be here for one year, after all. This would be fine.

As he walked into the cafeteria for lunch, what Alex saw as he looked up made him stop in his tracks. THAT’s their stage?!?!?! He knew this school didn’t have nearly the budget that his old school had, and that most of that money went to the sports teams, but he had at least thought they had an auditorium. But no, there at the far end of the cafeteria, the apron of the proscenium stage jutted out, with students leaning against it and casually setting their soda cans on the lip of the stage. The curtains were dusty and faded. A jolt from behind registered in his mind -- someone had bumped into him on their way into the cafeteria. He swallowed his disappointment and found himself a seat. Well, I guess I’ll have to deal with it. But how do they put on anything decent in this space? This is such a setback for my applications.

Once again, it was a voice that broke his train of thought. One that he knew. Reflexively he lifted his head, then wished he hadn’t as he and Zeb made eye contact and both flinched and tried to look away. 

“You two know each other?” asked a purple-haired girl at Zeb’s side. Busted. 

“Uh, yeah. Yeah we met at theater camp. Sabine, this is Alex; Alex, this is Sabine.” Zeb’s speech grew faster as he made the introductions. “Come on, Chop and Abe are saving our seats.”

“Nice to meet you,” Sabine said, still standing there. “Want to sit with us?” Alex couldn’t miss Zeb’s poorly-hidden look of mortification over her shoulder.

“Um, thanks, I don’t want to intrude…”

“Oh whatever. Come on,” she tugged his arm as she said this, leaving him (and Zeb) no room for refusal. Well, alright then. Time to make… friends?

*****

Sabine found Chop and Abe at their group’s usual table and plopped herself and the new kid -- Alex -- down. “Hey guys! This is Alex, he’s new.”

“Welcome to the bargain basement of private schools, Alex,” Chop quipped with his characteristic negativity. And as usual, Abe objected.

“Shut up, Chop, he just got here. You’ve got to make a good impression.”

Meanwhile, Zeb smacked Chop on the back of the head as he sat down. Digging into his brown paper lunch bag, he grumbled something about lack of gratitude and this school is awesome. Nobody could quite hear him over the din of the cafeteria, but they all knew what he was saying -- Zeb had the most school spirit of all of them.

“Anyway,” Sabine tried to take command of the conversation again, “this is Chop, and that’s Abe, they’re in the drama club too.”

“Lights,” Chop said, at the same time that Abe said “Sound.” Alex looked around the room.

“But, if that’s the stage, where is the lighting and sound equipment? Where’s the booth?”

“Ah, good question, and one we often ask ourselves,” Chop said, putting a hand in front of Abe’s face to keep him from interrupting this time, as Sabine rolled her eyes. “There is no booth. We set up what we can on trees, use those overhead lights and speakers there,” here he pointed to a single bar hanging from the ceiling with some basic instruments on it, “we have a lighting grid over the stage itself, and we set up the boards on a platform at the back of the house.”

“You actually didn’t leave anything out,” Abe observed, swatting Chop’s hand away. 

Sabine watched Alex as he let all of that sink in, hoping he wasn’t regretting his transfer. “So… I guess you have to stick to pretty basic designs…”

Chop cut him off. “Fortunately, I’m a genius, so I get this junk to produce some pretty good results. You want 7 PM in late Spring outdoors in Deadrock, Nevada? I got you. A rainy day in a New York apartment? Donezo. I can even get a rave goi--”

“I think he gets the picture, Chop,” Zeb groused. “The point is,” he continued, looking back at Alex, “we get a lot-t out of what we have.” 

Sabine caught how Zeb stuttered when Alex brushed his blonde hair out of his eyes, and her widening eyes darted to Chop to see if he had picked up on it. Chop, in turn, was already looking at Sabine, and his eyebrows raised a micrometer in response. That was interesting. She looked back at Zeb to find him just slightly darker in the cheeks than usual. If she didn’t know him so well, she wouldn’t have been able to tell, but he was blushing, alright.

“Anyway,” Zeb hurried on, “better eat fast, lunch is shorter than it seems.” He attacked his own peanut butter sandwich as though he were starving. 

Maybe he is… Sabine thought.

*****

Third period was a bit of a blur for Alex. He really should have been paying more attention, because AP Physics was no joke. Unfortunately, that lunch period with Zeb and his friends was still playing over and over in his head. Mainly the part where Zeb seemed to be really unhappy that he was there. Which was basically the whole time. Sure, they hadn’t really gotten to be best buddies over the Summer, but Alex thought they had at least been on good terms. Had he misread that? Maybe Zeb was just having a bad day. Yeah, maybe it wasn’t personal. But, then what was that look when Sabine invited him to sit with them? Oh no, what if Zeb was embarrassed to admit that he knew the nervous, awkward new kid. That had to be it. He was being weird, if he was honest about his own behavior so far today. He couldn’t blame Zeb for not wanting to be associated with a weirdo. But couldn’t he understand that it feels weird to start at a new school when the school year has already begun? They knew each other, so why couldn’t Zeb just help him out? Wait, why did he care? It’s not like Zeb was someone special. He was just the only person Alex knew at his new school… 

By the time the bell rang to head to fourth period, Alex had made a decision. He was an actor -- he would just have to act more confident, more cool. Fake it til you make it, right? That’s how he got through that first day of theater camp, he could definitely do that here. And then maybe Zeb wouldn’t be embarrassed to admit to knowing him. And he could get through this year without another disaster.

*****

Zeb tried so hard to be quick at his locker at the end of the day. Maybe he could avoid another awkward conversation with Alex. Last book in the backpack, locker door slammed, turn, and… Nope. There he was. Too slow. Being thwarted in making a clean getaway should have been no reason for his heart to stutter like it did, though.

“Zeb, hey! Hey, I want to apologize for earlier. I realize I was being awkward, and that made stuff weird.”

Zeb stared. “Yeah, no this is still weird.” He felt a pang of guilt at the panicked look that flitted across Alex’s face, but the look was gone as fast as it fell.

“Ha! Yeah, I guess so. Well, anyway, I’m glad you’re here, at least I know somebody . That’s all. See you tomorrow!” 

“Sure, seeya,” Zeb called out as he watched Alex walk away for the second time that day. What the fuck just happened?  

*****

Alex let out a shaky breath as he stood on the sidewalk outside the school. That went… not great, actually. But not terrible! Maybe. Ugh. This was going to be harder than he thought. As his mother’s BMW pulled up alongside the curb, he took a cleansing breath and tried to clear his mind.

“How was it, honey?”

“Fine, Mom,” Alex replied, buckling his seatbelt. “First day was fine.”

“I know it’s not what you’re used to, but we have to make do, right?”

“Sure. Yeah. I get it.”

*****

Finally done with his homework, Zeb flopped onto his bed. But without homework to focus on, his mind went back to Alex. He was so weird today. Maybe being so obnoxious at camp was an act. Nobody could be that cocky all the time, right? Maybe what he saw today was the real Alex Kallus. Self conscious and awkward as hell. Hmph. Zeb didn’t know which was more annoying, really. And with drama club starting up tomorrow, there’d be no getting away from him. He supposed  he could just tune him out, just ignore him whenever he opened his mouth. No, that wouldn’t do, he’d get called out at some point. It wasn’t really his voice that was the problem, anyway. Actually his voice was kind of nice. Surprisingly deep for their age.

The sound of a creaky door opening, followed by a bloooop! came from his computer. Zeb shuffled over to see who was IM’ing him.

SheComesInColors: hey you up?

greekxgodxzeb: its only 9 sabine

SheComesInColors: cool cool. so whats your deal with alex

greekxgodxzeb: ???

SheComesInColors: you were pretty cold. so like are you 2 mortal enemies or somthing?

greekxgodxzeb: hes just annoying

SheComesInColors: sure is pretty though

greekxgodxzeb: we are not having this conversation

SheComesInColors: ok just observing. if you’re not interested maybe i’ll ask him out

greekxgodxzeb: stop it

SheComesInColors: you are no fun 

SheComesInColors: are we meeting w ezra during auditions?

greekxgodxzeb: yeah i think so

SheComesInColors: k i’ll check w him

So yeah. Looks like ignoring Alex would definitely not work, not with Sabine around microanalyzing his behavior. And what was she trying to do with that comment about him being pretty? And asking him out? Trying to make him jealous? There was nothing to be jealous about… although it did irritate him for some reason. Nope. Just, no. Not that guy.

Another bloop from his computer made Zeb growl, but he looked anyway.

JABBA: hey meeting 2mrw 

Oh good, not Sabine. 

greekxgodxzeb: k thx ez

JABBA: np is new kid techie 2?

greekxgodxzeb: no, actor

greekxgodxzeb: why is everybody asking me about him?

JABBA: k nvm

JABBA: dunno, sabine said u kno him

JABBA: c u 2mrw

Zeb sighed. “I’m going the fuck to bed.”

Chapter Text

Alex was early for his second day at Alliance Academy, only a couple other students were in the hall when he got to his locker. That’s fine, he thought. I don’t have to talk to him first thing in the morning every day. He couldn’t help but wish he could get on with correcting that terrible impression he made yesterday, though.

The morning went by so quickly he wasn’t even sure how it had already been three hours. But sure enough, here he was in the cafeteria, chips and soda in hand. He scanned the tables hopefully, but didn’t see Zeb’s friends yet. Should he just go back to the same table and hope they returned there -- and didn’t mind him joining them?

“Alex, over here!”

He turned and saw Sabine waving as she exited the kitchen with a tray. The flood of relief that washed over him was instantaneous. He wouldn’t be exiled after all.

Once he got to the table she had directed him towards, Alex asked where everyone else was.

“Oh, they’re still in line. Taco salad day,” she said, raising her tray. “Oh that’s right! You wouldn’t know. Sorry. Taco salad day happens maybe once a month and it’s the best thing our cafeteria makes. Just about everybody buys lunch on taco salad day.” Alex saw her glance at his meager lunch. “Want some?”

“Oh, no, no that’s fine. I’ll know next time. All good,” he replied in haste. He would have to remember to keep an eye on the cafeteria menu. He never bought lunch at ISB, so he certainly hadn’t expected to here.

One by one, the others made it to the table, Zeb last. By the time Zeb got there, the only seat left was directly across from Alex; Alex decided he’d have to engage the others in conversation just to keep himself from constantly looking up to read Zeb’s expression. So, he turned to his right.

“So, Chop, uh, is that your real name? Did your parents not like you or something?” He almost cringed at his own question, but Chop seemed unperturbed. Proud, even, as he started to answer around a mouthful of taco salad.

“It’s a nickname,” he replied. “Because… I know Kung Fu.”

“He takes Karate lessons,” Abe corrected, rolling his eyes.

“Hey man, don’t ruin my line,” Chop gave Abe a light chop to the arm. “And it’s not just that ‘I take Karate lessons,’ it’s that I’ve been taking Karate since I was little. I’m the instructor’s assistant now.”

Alex was impressed, and was about to say so when Abe interjected. “His real name is Charles, but he went by Chip til he started getting cocky and showing off his skills at school. That’s when everyone started calling him Chop.”

“Man, now you’re giving away all my secrets!” Chop wailed.

Now it was Zeb who cut in. “That makes it sound like you’re way more interesting than you are,” he commented with a grin. “Too bad we know the truth.”

“Fuck you guys,” Chop grumbled, without any real malice. “If my cousin didn’t broadcast my whole life story, I’d be totally mysterious.” At that, everyone laughed, including Alex. It was the most relaxed he’d felt in weeks.

*****

AP US History was really turning out to be interesting, Alex mused as he gathered his binders and stashed his uniform tie in his locker (that seemed to be what all the other boys did at dismissal time). The teacher, a retired military officer, had some pretty interesting perspectives on US conflicts.

“Hey,” he heard Zeb say. “You goin’ to auditions?”

Alex turned -- had Zeb really initiated a conversation? He must have made more progress at lunch than he thought. “Of course. Monologue ready and everything.”

“Oh, they always do cold readings here,” Zeb replied. “But I dunno, maybe they’ll let you do a monologue too. Ms. Syndulla is pretty open like that.” Alex noticed that Zeb kept his head more or less buried in his locker while they talked.

“Thanks for the heads-up.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Zeb started unbuttoning his shirt, which sent Alex into a near-panic. Was he really stripping, right here in front of him? In the hallway? But then he realized that Zeb had a t-shirt under his uniform shirt, and was just opening and untucking the more restrictive button-down for comfort. Alex’s heart rate began to slow back down. “Anyway, everybody’ll be waiting in the hall, if you want to like, start meeting people or whatever.” And with that, Zeb closed his locker and walked away.

“O...kay.” Alex figured that was as close to an invitation as he was going to get, so he leaned into his locker to smudge on some more of the concealer his mom gave him that morning without being seen (hopefully), and headed in the direction Zeb had gone.

Around the corner into the next hallway, he found Zeb, Chop, Abe, and one other boy he hadn’t met yet. Taking a deep breath, Alex reminded himself to be cool, be confident.

“Hi Alex,” Abe waved him over. “I guess you haven’t met Wedge yet.” The unfamiliar boy waved and smiled at Alex.

“Nice to meet you,” Wedge said. “You’re new, right?”

“That’s right, planning on being your new lead actor,” Alex said, hoping he sounded tongue-in-cheek but sounding a little hard even in his own ears.

“Oh. Ha. That’s cool. I guess you’re my competition, then,” Wedge joked weakly.

Zeb stepped in and put a hand on Wedge’s head -- not difficult, given that Wedge was at least 6 inches shorter than Zeb. “Don’t sweat it, Wedge, he’s just like that.” Alex very much did not miss the glare he got from Zeb.

“Nothing personal,” Alex rushed to say. He had to regain his cool-factor. “I just have better experience. In better theaters. I’m used to a higher quality of production, is all. It just makes sense that I’d do better than your guys can.”

It became immediately apparent that he had taken the wrong approach.

*****

Kanan was quietly going over the audition readings and setting things in order while he waited for Hera to arrive. It was a calming sort of ritual for him, something that put him in the right -- receptive -- frame of mind before holding auditions. Until, that is, a student came skidding into the cafeteria.

“Mr. Jarrus!” Wedge panted. “There’s a fight, come quick!”

With only a split-second sigh, Kanan took off after the boy. Out in the hallway, he found Zeb with his hands full of another boy’s shirt. Chop and Abe were just beyond them, adding their own commentary, almost drowning out a growled “Say that again…” from Zeb. “Nail him, Zeb!” Chop shouted, while at the same time Abe was grousing, “You two are gonna get in trouble and I just want it clear that I am NOT a part of this crap.”

“ENOUGH!” Kanan interjected, extending an arm between Zeb and his… opponent? Victim? What exactly was going on here? He didn’t recognize this other boy. “Zeb, let go. I don’t want to have to report this to Principal Sato.”

Zeb slowly uncurled his fingers from the boy’s shirt, grumbling “He started it.”

“I did not!” objected the boy, as Kanan stated “I don’t care who started it. You know better.” He stared Zeb down, using his best “I expect better from you” stare.

“Sorry, Mr. Jarrus.”

“It’s not me you need to apologize to.”

That got a brief look of indignant shock, before Zeb put on a more humble face and mumbled, “Sorry, Alex.”

“It’s… it’s alright,” the other boy said, looking away.

“So, Alex, is it? Are you one of our students?” Kanan really hoped this unfamiliar boy was an Alliance student, because filling out an inter-school incident form was the last thing he wanted to have to do.

Alex nodded. “Yes, sir. Just transferred this week. From ISB Prep.”

“Well, Alex,” Kanan said, crossing his arms. “Here at Alliance Academy we do things a certain way. And that does not involve physical fights. Now, I don’t know what happened here, and I don’t really care. The two of you need to work out whatever your disagreement was and be civil. Understood?”

The mumbled “yes, sir” from both boys was sufficiently sullen to indicate the most contrition he was likely to get from a pair of teenage boys. Being satisfied with having made his disciplinary point, Kanan then rounded on Chop and Abe.

“And you two,” he began, but was interrupted.

“I told them not to fight, Mr. Jarrus, I tol--”

“Abe,” Kanan cut him off. “I get it. But you both are agitators and it needs to stop. I don’t think I need to remind you of what happens when someone encourages drama among the drama club.”

They both grimaced, remembering last year’s awful tech week. Abe nodded, while Chop gave a mournful “Right, sorry.”

With a final harrumph, Kanan uncrossed his arms and turned to head back to the cafeteria. “I expect all of you to be capable of behaving yourselves until auditions start. But just in case, you all are coming with me to the cafeteria to wait.” He didn’t look back to make sure they were following, but the shuffling of several pairs of feet and jostling of backpacks being swung onto shoulders told him that they had obeyed. Thank God. But so much for getting to center myself.

Hera was just getting settled at the directors’ table when Kanan got back into the cafeteria, leading a parade of downcast teenagers. “There you are,” she said, “I was wondering what happened to you, with all of this half-done.”

Kanan waited until he was beside her and the boys were slumping themselves down along the wall (typical that they preferred to sit on the floor, he never understood that) to respond. “There was a… an altercation.” He nodded his head back to where Zeb and the others were sulking. Well, not Wedge. He looked more relieved than anything. “Zeb got into it with the new kid.”

“The new kid?” Hera’s eyebrows went up. “Oh, that new senior, Alex Kallus. I haven’t really met him yet, he’s in AP English, not mine. What happened?”

“Don’t know, don’t care; Wedge got me and I broke it up. It didn’t quite come to blows, so I figured we could just avoid filling out a report form…” he gave Hera a hopeful look, which got him a sigh in return. “You know how I hate dealing with those forms, and it didn’t really go anywhere, everybody’s fine, see?”

“You are the only librarian I know who doesn’t like filling out paperwork.”

“Hey, there’s organizing information, and then there’s meaningless bureaucracy.”

“I hate that you’re right.” Hera sighed again. “Alright, but if anything happens between them again, we have to report it.”

“Yes ma’am,” he returned with a cheeky smile.

*****

Sabine slung her backpack down next to Zeb as her friend Ketsu split off to go sign up to audition with the rest of the actors. Then she noticed Zeb’s face.

“Bad day?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“He got pissed and almost beat up Alex,” Chop interjected, giving Sabine a significant look as he said the name. Sabine could only gape. “Alex kinda deserved it, though. He was being a dick.”

“The things I miss when I’m in the art room.” Sabine plopped down on the floor.

“What’d you miss?” Ezra asked, approaching the group.

Zeb just hit his head against the wall behind him.

*****

Alex was not nervous. He’d done zillions of auditions, and this one should be easy. How much competition could there really be? On his audition form, under “What role are you auditioning for?” he wrote “any,” but he knew he was going for the lead. And he was not nervous.

Well, maybe a little.

Okay, a lot.

But there was no reason to be, at least that’s what he told himself as he was called up to read beside a dark-complexioned girl with close-cropped hair. Now he just had to believe that.

*****

“Alex, and Ketsu, I’d like you two to read scene 5,” Hera said, waiting for the students to take the stage. The audition was going well, and most of the students were a known quantity for her. She never pre-cast a show, but it was pretty easy to decide who would play which roles. She hadn’t liked any of the auditions for Macbeth himself, though. Granted, she had included some of the more challenging scenes in the audition sides, but she did have to see how they rose to the challenge.

“I have done the deed; didst thou not hear a noise?” Alex began. Hera raised her eyebrows. Already he sounded more natural than her other students. As the students read through the scene, she glanced aside at Kanan. His eyebrows were raised as he watched the new boy. It wasn’t just her that was impressed, then.

Well, at least auditions wouldn’t have to be extra long.

****

“So we’ve got a pretty clear set design already; Chop, I’ll make sure you get the drawings so you can start getting a sense of your areas. Set crew will meet and start getting materials together this Saturday, so anybody that-- Zeb?”

“Yeah? What? Sorry, spaced out for a sec. We’re meeting when?” Zeb’s attention snapped back to Ezra and the meeting that the young stage manager was trying to run.

“Saturday. We’re almost done, if you wanna watch auditions just hold on a sec.” Ezra glanced between Zeb and the glass doors through which they could see into the cafeteria. Sabine and Chop exchanged another one of their looks and smirked, but Zeb noticed this time and glared at them.

“Right, Saturday, got it. We have enough crew this year?”

Zeb zoned out again, watching Alex’s audition through the glass, while Ezra ran down the list of set crew members. Dammit. He looked so confident. Zeb just hoped he would not be right this time about landing the lead. He needs to be taken down a peg or two. So fucking obnoxious.

*****

“Alright, I guess we’ve got a good idea of where we’re going, then,” Hera said, gathering her papers. “I want to talk to Zeb and the new boy before everyone leaves.”

“Want me to send them to your classroom?” Kanan asked.

“Nooo, no no. I want to speak with each of them individually, so while it shouldn’t be in front of all the other students in here, it should be out in the open. The last thing we need is someone getting the wrong idea. I’ll pull them aside in the hallway.”

“Gotcha. Plenty of potential witnesses.”

“Exactly.” Hera turned and approached the cluster of students. “Zeb, may I speak with you?”

She could tell from the slightly alarmed look he gave her that he knew what this was about. But at least he was appropriately meek as he followed her out into the hallway.

“So,” Hera said, “Mr. Jarrus told me something happened between you and the new student?”

Zeb sighed, shoulders slumping. “Yeah,” he mumbled. “Yeah, I guess you can say that.”

“Want to tell me what that was all about?”

Zeb looked up and down the hallway to make sure nobody else was near enough to listen, then finally spoke up.

“He was insulting our drama club, and saying he would obviously be a better actor than anybody we have here because he’s used to more ‘professional’ types of programs, and he said it right in front of Wedge!” That last point was clearly his attempt to make himself sound more noble, for defending the feelings of a fellow student.

Hera sighed. “Zeb, I appreciate your school spirit, but really. That’s no reason to put your hands on another student. Or anyone. You know better than that.”

“I don’t suppose,” Zeb began sheepishly, “that it would help to know I met this guy before and he irritates the crap out of me?”

Hera shook her head, suppressing a smile and clearing her throat to avoid laughing. “No, Zeb, it does not. We all have to deal with irritating people in the world every day,” she reflexively shot a look at the gym. “We can’t manhandle people just for being irritating, you know that. Now, can you move on from this and refrain from assaulting our new lead actor -- or anybody else?”

Zeb’s eyes were suddenly the size of dinner plates. The scowl that followed confirmed Hera’s suspicion that he would be unhappy about the casting. Nothing she could do about that now; she couldn’t cast plays based on the students’ feelings, they’d never learn anything that way.

“Yes, Ms. Syndulla. Sorry.”

“Good. You’re free to go.” Hera watched Zeb grab his backpack and slouch his way towards the weight room. One down, one to go.

“Alex, may I see you for a moment?”

The blonde head snapped up from gathering his things to see Hera leaning in the cafeteria door. She waited as he scurried over to her.

“I understand that there was an issue between you and Zeb,” Hera began once they were both in the hallway.

“I’m very sorry, Ms. Syndulla, it won’t happen again.” His response was hasty, even rehearsed-sounding. But what worried her was the concern -- no, fear? -- in his eyes.

“I just want to hear your side of what happened, and make sure it won’t happen again.”

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other a couple of times before speaking, looking down at his feet. “I said some things I shouldn’t have. I don’t really know why I said it. It was really… rude, of me. And Zeb didn’t like it, so he got mad, and… I guess Mr. Jarrus told you what happened after that?”

“I’d like you to tell me.”

A sigh. “He, um, Zeb got in my face, and grabbed my shirt, and he yelled at me -- look, it’s really okay, I don’t blame him --”

“His behavior was inexcusable,” Hera interrupted. “I’ve addressed that with him, and he’s promised it won’t happen again. Now, look at me.” As Alex finally raised his face to make eye contact, Hera saw the yellow-green traces she’d missed before, having seen him only from a distance. Catching herself mid-gasp, she asked, “Is that black eye just forming, or is it almost healed?”

Alex’s hand flew to his face. “It’s… sorry, I thought I’d covered it, it’s healing. Oh, Zeb didn’t do this, no, if that’s what you’re asking. N-no, that wasn’t him. Honest.”

Hera raised an eyebrow but accepted his statement. Yellow did indicate that a bruise was old, right? She’d have to ask Kanan. “Okay. What I wanted to say to you is this: I understand that, being new, you probably feel like you’ve got a lot to prove. Well, don’t. We don’t have room for that kind of attitude in this drama club. Keep the drama onstage. Understood?” Alex nodded. “Good. Go on.” She watched as he returned to the cafeteria, beelining for his backpack and starting to pack up his things.

Chapter Text

Ms. Hera Syndulla closed the car door and turned to look at her husband. 

“Well? How’d it go?” Kanan asked from the passenger’s seat.  

“I don’t think we’ll have a problem with those two now. Hey, what color is a fresh bruise?”

Kanan raised an eyebrow and answered slowly, hoping he hadn’t missed anything important. “Usually black and blue. Maybe a red mark at first, before the blood begins to settle there. Why?”

“Not yellow?”

“No, yellow means it’s almost healed.”

Hera let out a deep breath. “Okay, good.”

“Why this sudden interest in the spectrum of bruises?”
“That transfer student had a yellow bruise under one eye. I just wanted to make sure that couldn’t be from Zeb.”

Kanan shook his head. “Nope, kid just started here yesterday, that’s got to be from before.” 

“Good,” Hera responded, starting the car. “‘Cause damn that kid is good. He’s got to be our Mac, and we need him and the rest of our cast and crew to get along at least well enough to not kill each other.”

“Except when it’s in the script,” Kanan quipped.

Hera rolled her eyes and put the car in gear. 

*****

SheComesInColors: OK SPILL

SheComesInColors: WHAT HAPPENED AT THEATER CAMP???

Sabine knew that Zeb was going to try and ignore her. She also knew that he knew that she had his phone number and would not hesitate to use it if he didn’t respond to her IMs. And his mom would never let him not take a call from her. So she waited.

greekxgodxzeb: nothing wtf

SheComesInColors: uhhh clearly not nothing if he can piss you off that bad that quick

SheComesInColors: cmon

SheComesInColors: if you don’t tell me i’ll have to imagine it for myself :D :D :D

greekxgodxzeb: i hate you

SheComesInColors: no you don’t i’m your best friend :*

greekxgodxzeb: nothing happened he was just there and he was annoying and cocky and the goddam golden boy ok? 

SheComesInColors: golden boy huh?

Now we were getting somewhere.

greekxgodxzeb: yes golden boy everybody fucking loved him and he knew it

greekxgodxzeb: he was constantly surrounded by girls

greekxgodxzeb: he introduced himself as the lead actor before auditions even started !!! and he actually fucking got the lead i was so pissed

greekxgodxzeb: too fucking perfect and he fucking knows it and it irritates me ok

greekxgodxzeb: fucking pretty boy actors and their fucking egos and im not gonna beg for his attention like everybody else

greekxgodxzeb: there happy now

After that flurry of messages, Sabine was actually almost speechless. She blinked a few times, trying to process it all. She’d been teasing Zeb about the kid, but damn, he actually did have a crush! She would know. She’d seen it before. Time to start coaching. Sabine cracked her knuckles before typing.

SheComesInColors: yes, thank you.

SheComesInColors: but i would like to point out that youdon’t have to beg for his attention, you definitely have it. like fully. 

greekxgodxzeb: oh com on

SheComesInColors: and i dunno what he was like this summer with all his adoring fans and whatnot but he seems pretty timid to me at school

SheComesInColors: no rly you do

SheComesInColors: but for real he looked like a lost puppy in the cafeteria today. you should’ve seen how fidgety he was til you got there. 

greekxgodxzeb: do not do this

SheComesInColors: what, give you hope?

greekxgodxzeb: sabine

SheComesInColors: what?

She waited a moment for a response, just long enough that she thought perhaps he had rage quit the conversation. 

greekxgodxzeb: i hate you. but youre still my best friend

Sabine sat back and smiled. Progress made.

*****

Zeb signed off of AIM in a huff. Dammit, Sabine. All of what she was suggesting pointed in the direction of the thoughts he was trying not to give in to. Because pretty boys are trouble. Actors are narcissistic and crazy. Pretty actors are the worst. Not to mention, he didn’t know anything about this particular pretty boy’s preferences anyway. 

But damn, was he pretty. 

And Sabine said he was timid, and seemed like he was waiting for him at lunchtime. That’s definitely a different side than what he saw at camp. But he hadn’t noticed it himself. Maybe she was making it up to mess with him. But maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe he should just give Alex a chance. Wouldn’t hurt to try and be friends. He could try to be nice. And then whatever happens… happens.

*****

Wednesday. A new day. He would do better today. At least, that’s what Alex told himself as he walked into school and headed to his locker. It’s a new day, a new chance, a reboot, these phrases became a mantra in his head as he swapped out his books and put on his tie. By the time he was closing his locker, he noticed Zeb was approaching. Deep breath, you can do this.

“Hi Zeb,” he sounded only slightly less nervous than he felt.

“Hey,” Zeb replied, and Alex thought that there might have been a note of uneasiness there, too.

“I’m sorry about--” both of them started at the same time, then cut themselves off, wide-eyed. Alex regained his footing first.

“I’m sorry about what I said yesterday. I didn’t even really mean it, I just was nervous and I talk big when I’m nervous, it’s just a bad habit I have. I didn’t mean to be, uh, mean . Sorry.”

“Um, I’m sorry too. I got a little carried away. I don’t like it when people pick on my friends. I just… kinda saw red for a minute. You okay?” Zeb was making as little eye contact as possible, but Alex saw the way he kept looking at him from the side while rummaging around in his locker.

“What? Yeah, yeah I’m fine. You didn’t hurt me or anything. Scared the shit out of me, but I probably deserved that.” He gave a short laugh. 

“Probably.” Zeb’s eyes widened as soon as the word left his mouth. “Sorry, no, I mean... yeah, sorry.”

“Well…” Alex paused, then decided to share his philosophy of the day. “New day, new start, yeah?”

Zeb seemed to need to think about that for a moment. “Yeah, sure.” Zeb closed his locker, slipped on his tie and picked up his backpack. “See you at lunch.” He turned and walked down the hall, and Alex couldn’t help but let out a small sigh of relief. There was hope for friendship after all.

*****

Brown paper bag in hand, Zeb scanned the cafeteria. By the time he spotted his friends, he realized that he was looking for blonde hair more than purple this time. But there they were, both colors side-by-side already, and he headed toward them. Chop and Abe arrived at the same time he did, and he quickly slid onto the bench opposite Alex. Maybe this would give him an opportunity to see if Sabine was right the night before about him having Alex’s attention. When he glanced up at Sabine, she winked at him. He rolled his eyes.

“You heard the morning announcements, right?” Sabine was asking Alex. “When they said the cast list would be up this afternoon?”

“Yeah, are they always that fast?”

“Usually,” Sabine answered. “Ms. Syndulla generally knows what she’s looking for, so once she spots it she’s more or less made up her mind.”

“So when’s the first rehearsal?”

“Probably tomorrow.”

“Wow, you guys move fast,” Alex observed. “I like it.”

“I think you’ll find there’s a lot to like about our school,” Zeb cut in a bit haughtily.  “Pretty soon, you won’t miss ISB at all.” The way Alex’s face immediately changed was not what Zeb had expected. It was like a turtle retreating into his shell, and suddenly he was very interested in the minute details of the granola bar in his hand where it rested on the table. 

“I wouldn’t say I miss ISB anyway,” he said quietly, almost inaudible in the cafeteria full of chatter.

Zeb flinched as he felt a shoe collide with his shin, and noticed Sabine giving him what he would call a “significant look.” She was good at that. “OH! Uh, well, that’s good then. It’ll be easier to settle in here!” He attempted an encouraging smile, even though Alex wasn’t looking at him. “Makes our job easier, too.”

Alex raised his eyebrows before his head. “Your job?”

“Yeah, makin’ you feel at home. Can’t spend your whole senior year feeling like a noob! It’s up to your new friends to help you settle in!” Zeb smiled in relief as well as attempted friendliness when Alex finally looked at him. Sabine might have been right about him being timid. Maybe Zeb had seen cockiness because he was looking for it. In any case, he was surprised to realize how much he meant what he said about making Alex feel at home. The pretty boy was really getting under his skin. And the wide-eyed, hopeful look he was giving Zeb was not helping. 

“Th-thanks,” Alex said, looking away again. Sabine laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t thank anybody too soon,” Chop cut in. “Zeb probably just wants a new friend to help with his homework.”

Zeb noticed as he smacked Chop on the back of the head, Sabine threw a Cheeto at Chop, and Abe started scolding him, that at least Alex laughed.

*****

When the bell rang for dismissal, Alex was ready to shoot up from his seat and run for the bulletin board outside the main office. Ketsu was already there, and a couple of others that he recognized from auditions, and he saw Wedge approach as well. Joining the knot of students leaning around each other, he looked for his name, and saw it right where he’d been hoping it was.

Macbeth: Alex Kallus

“Congratulations!” 

Alex turned his head to see Wedge was the one who spoke. “Thank you! And, um, I’m sorry about yesterday. I shouldn’t have run my mouth…” Wedge was shaking his head.

“I get it. You were trying to show off. But, Sabine says you’re cool, so we’re good.” Alex was letting the part about Sabine saying he’s cool sink in when Wedge continued, “And besides, I’m your Banquo, so we’ve got to get along, right?” With a light punch to Alex’s shoulder, Wedge walked away.

Another arm draped over his shoulders, and he turned his head just as Ketsu Onyo said “Hey there, husband!”

“Congratulations,” he replied with a laugh. “I liked reading with you, so this should be fun.”

“I’m counting on it. See you tomorrow!” 

As Ketsu walked off, Alex checked the cast list sheet for a rehearsal schedule, and saw that they would have their first read-through in the library the next day after school. He was ready.

*****

It had been a good day so far. Zeb had initiated conversation with him at lunch. He’d impressed Mr. Quarrie in physics class. And now he was headed to the library for the first read-through of Macbeth! It had been a while since Alex had been in this good of a mood. He was looking forward to meeting the rest of the cast, hoping to make a good impression, and if he was honest, hoping the tech crew would be there too, though there didn’t seem to be a reason for them to be.

Walking into the library, Alex saw Mr. Jarrus and Ezra moving the reading tables together in the center of the space. No one else was there yet, not even Ms. Syndulla. He knew they had a half hour between dismissal and rehearsal time, but he really thought more of his fellow students would be here. 

“Oh, hi Alex,” Mr. Jarrus greeted him. “You’re early.”

“Sorry, I can go, if…?”

“Not at all, it’s fine, just surprising. Most of you kids make yourselves scarce in the break before rehearsal. I’m sure half of them are down at Starbucks getting a drink right now.”

“Yeah, Chop is bringing me that new meiloorun frappucino,” Ezra chimed in. 

“Oh,” Alex finally responded. “I just… figured I’d come straight here. I like to be early, keeps me from being late.” He made a mental note to find something to do or someone to hang with after school on rehearsal days. 

Mr. Jarrus chuckled. “It would do that, yeah. Well, want to give us a hand getting set up? Grab some chairs from the seminar room in the back.”

As they added chairs to the table island til they had enough for everyone, others started trickling in. Sabine appeared with new paint stains on her hands and Ketsu by her side. Ms. Syndulla arrived and greeted Mr. Jarrus with a kiss on the cheek (Alex filed that away in his mind to ask Sabine about later). More students came in, including Wedge, who Alex greeted with a smile and a wave. Eventually, the last to arrive were Zeb, Chopper, Abe, and a handful of other students he didn’t know yet, all carrying distinctive green-printed cups. Alex didn’t know where the Starbucks was in town, but he decided he’d have to come up with a favorite beverage so he’d have an excuse to go with them next time. For now, Alex waved, and his three new friends crossed the room to him.

“Chop! Did you get my frappucino?” Ezra had apparently also hurried over from the other direction and precluded any conversation opener from anyone else. Which Alex decided was fine, because he hadn’t thought of anything sufficiently witty to cover up his wish that he’d been included in the Starbucks run. “You guys should’ve gotten something for Alex, he was here helping us set up. It’s not nice to leave the new guy out,” Ezra continued, taking the cup that Chop held out to him. As he took a long sip through the straw, he pinned Zeb with a meaningful look, making Alex want to just disappear into the floor. How the hell did Ezra just manage to make this worse ? 

“Hey, um, sorry Alex. I didn’t see you at the lockers, and everybody else was ready to go…” Zeb sounded so embarrassed that it made Alex feel even worse. He had to gather up what was left of his brain and say something.

“It’s okay! It’s fine, I just came straight here. Really excited for the show, I didn’t really think about how much time we had before rehearsal. It’s cool, really, it’s alright.” Oh my God, Alex, could you sound more pathetic??? Shit!

Suddenly, Ms. Syndulla was calling for everyone to sit down so they could start. Alex gratefully scrambled for a seat at the table, ending up next to Ketsu as Sabine pulled Zeb over to the reading chairs by the window. 

“Now, we’ll start with introductions, and then we’ll go over scheduling and other housekeeping stuff, and after that we’ll dive into the read-through. The tech crew doesn’t have to stay for that, so if you have a ride you can go, but you’re welcome to stay and listen if you wish.” Ms. Syndulla was very straightforward and to the point, but Alex still missed half of what she was saying because he was watching Zeb sulk and shoot death glares at Ezra. He supposed he should blame Ezra, but somehow he felt like it was his own fault. That made no sense of course, but he couldn’t help how he felt. He barely managed to wrestle his mind back to the present as the first few cast members began to introduce themselves. It was time to focus.

*****

Zeb really could’ve punched Ezra square in the face. It’s not as though he hadn’t looked for Alex at their lockers, hadn’t waited a few minutes longer than necessary to see if he’d show up, before the others swept him along out the door. He was trying , he really was. In some ways, it still surprised even him that he felt so compelled to be nice to Alex. He was still glaring at Ezra when he felt Sabine kick his foot. Introductions were getting close to them.

After giving his name, class, and what he does in the drama club, Zeb resumed fuming. He’d just have to plan ahead next time, maybe mention something at lunch about hitting Starbucks before rehearsal. Because really, how was he supposed to know that Alex had apparently teleported himself straight to the library at dismissal? He couldn’t be responsible for knowing where the guy was at all times! Maybe if they had a class or two together he’d have a better handle on things, but of course then he’d just have to be around him more. Zeb glanced at Alex. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. Wait, what was he thinking? Two days ago he couldn’t stand the kid! Though even as he reminded himself of that, Zeb knew that it wasn’t entirely accurate. He was irritated by Alex, that much was true. But if he was honest, really honest , with himself, he knew that part of the problem was that he was attracted to him. And he didn’t like that he was attracted to a cocky actor. 

Zeb took one of the student info sheets as they came around, pulling a pen out of his backpack to fill it out. He was barely even aware of what he was doing, filling out the form being so routine and mechanical that it allowed his mind to continue spinning its wheels, trying to think his way out of his guilt, out of his irritation, and out of the crush he still didn’t want to admit he had.

*****

Despite knowing that he’d probably pay for it later, Ezra was pretty proud of himself. He knew Sabine was trying to get Zeb and the new kid together -- this was his way of helping. Not subtle, but it did get them talking. Mr. Jarrus had Ezra taking notes during the read-through, so he didn’t get to pay much attention to anything else, but once or twice he managed to catch Zeb watching Alex read his lines. Those two might not need much help, just some time…

*****

Sabine had pressed Zeb into writing things down for her as she took cast members’ measurements for costumes in the library’s back room. He didn’t seem thrilled about having to stay, but she noticed he didn’t complain as much as he might have in previous semesters. It would figure that by their last year of school, he’d finally get the hang of writing down measurements for her -- but Sabine knew that he hadn’t really developed a sudden interest in costume sizing. Between measurements, his eyes would slide over to their Macbeth. The real tragedy of this play will be if they don’t get together by the end of the run, she thought. 

Finally, there was a scene where Macbeth was absent for long enough that she could grab Alex and lead him to the back room of the library. He seemed surprised to see Zeb sitting there with her notebook (obviously hers, it had paint splatters all over the edges) and a pencil. 

“Okay, let’s get this done,” Sabine whispered. “Not long til you have lines again.” Alex nodded. “A couple things I just need you to tell me, then I’ll invade your personal space to get the rest of the measurements myself, cool?” He nodded again, glancing over at Zeb and back to Sabine. “Height and shoe size?”

“6 foot even, size 11 and a half,” he whispered, and watched Zeb write it down. Sabine struggled not to roll her eyes at how obvious they both were about looking each other over and how equally oblivious they were to each other doing so.

“Okay, arms out,” Sabine whispered, and he obeyed, but leaned away slightly when she leaned in as if to hug him. “It’s alright, I’m just getting the measuring tape around you.” 

“Right, right, sorry.”

“Ok, Zeb. Chest, 36. Waist… 31…”

“Holy shit,” Zeb interrupted. 

“What?” Alex sounded apprehensive and forgot to whisper, earning a throat-clear and a pointed look from Mr. Jarrus, who was sitting near the door where he could see both rooms. “Holy shit what?” he repeated, quietly this time.

“Sorry, sorry,” Zeb whispered. “Just you’re so skinny. Like I think I could fit my hands all the way around your waist.” Sabine’s eyes darted to Alex after Zeb said that, and caught the red rising in his cheeks. She looked back at Zeb, who seemed to have just realized the degree of touch his statement implied and was, himself, getting a little pinker. Holding the tape measure with both hands was the only thing keeping her from facepalming.

“You do not have 15 inch hands, Zeb,” she hissed, “now can we please get back to business? He’s almost up!”

“Sorry! Sorry. Go ahead…”

Chapter Text

When Alex arrived, early of course, for rehearsal on Saturday, the tech crew were still at work gathering what they needed to start the set. He saw Mr. Jarrus going through some drawings with his history teacher, Mr. Rex, standing on the floor and using the stage as a counter, and another adult he assumed must be someone’s young-looking mom was helping Abe and Chop stack used 2x4s neatly by length. None of the other actors were there yet. It seemed like there should have been more techies around, but he couldn’t see the one, one s he was looking for. Then a thud sound from the stage left wings got everyone’s attention.

“Careful over there!” yelled Mr. Rex. “Do you need another set of hands?”

Alex heard Ezra call back “No! We’re fine!”, and then Sabine contradicting him with an “It couldn’t hurt!” at the same time as the sound of one person smacking another.

Mr. Rex and Mr. Jarrus shared a look and an eyeroll that Alex was sure must have been a habit of theirs, and Mr. Rex slapped Mr. Jarrus’ shoulder and turned to go up to the wings. But as he turned, he spotted Alex watching them. “Oh, Alex, nice to see ya, son. Is it that late already? Or are you just early…” he squinted up at the clock at the back of the cafeteria. “Oh good, we’ve still got a little time. Say, would you mind givin’ those other kids a hand getting things down from the attic? Sounds like they could use some help.”

“Oh, uh, yes sir,” Alex stammered, surprised. He ran up the stage stairs and over to the wings, hearing Mr. Rex saying “Good man” in his wake. While he wasn’t quite sure what he expected to see, it wasn’t what he actually saw. There was a metal built-in ladder running up from the backstage area into a three-foot-wide square hole in the ceiling. Most of the way up the ladder, someone in jeans with a really nice ass was reaching up into the hole in the ceiling, and above them, he could just see Sabine’s bright hair in the darkness.  

“Ready for this next one, Zeb?” 

Hearing Ezra’s voice from above snapped Alex out of his awe, making him realize both that of course the nice ass he had noticed was Zeb’s and that he was supposed to be helping. He cleared his throat as he stepped close to the ladder and called up, “Hi guys, how can I help?”

*****

Zeb had been about to give Ezra the go-ahead to send down the next column when he heard Alex’s voice from below. Great. Not now... A sudden wave of self-consciousness came over him, balanced precariously as he was on the ladder and trying to stay in control of the heavy pieces coming down from the attic.

“Oh, hi Alex!” Sabine was saying from just above him. She sounded excessively cheerful. “How’s your arm strength?” 

As Alex floundered about for a response, Zeb took charge. “Here, switch places with me. All you have to do is steady the pieces as Ez and Sabine lower them, and I’ll catch them down here and make sure they set down soft.” He climbed down the ladder before waiting for an answer.

“Oh...kay,” Alex said, looking a little flushed once they were face-to-face. He started up the ladder to Zeb’s previous position, hooking his leg around the ladder rungs for security, while Zeb thought ohhh God if he falls… I’d have to catch him, of course… please just don’t fall, I don’t need that heart attack... Damn, his ass looks good from here. Jesus, FUCK, stop that. FOCUS!

“ZEB!” Sabine’s voice finally really snapped him out of his mental tailspin, and he looked  up to see all three of his peers peering down at him. “I said, are you ready?”

“YES! Jeez, go ahead. I’m waiting on you .” 

*****

Even though he hadn’t had to do much, Alex wanted to believe he’d been able to impress Zeb with his willingness to participate in tech. He’d even asked if he could help out the set crew the next week, and Mr. Rex seemed genuinely happy to have him volunteer. It would make for very long Saturdays at school, he realized, but it would probably be fun. Besides, he didn’t have anything else to do. 

He was leaving the cafeteria feeling good about that and about the rehearsal that had just ended, and was surprised to see Zeb stepping out into the hallway with a gym bag. There was a split second of thinking he was imagining things before Zeb spotted him and smiled slightly.

“Hey, good rehearsal?” Zeb asked. 

Still a little confused, Alex managed a “Yeah, good. What are you doing still here?” He did have enough presence of mind to step out of the way of the door as castmates trickled out and on their way. 

“Oh, I came back after getting some lunch and worked out in the weight room. I do that most Saturdays. Gotta work to keep these guns,” he said, flexing and flashing a cheeky grin.

“Good point,” Alex said, not even trying to hide his amusement. “I hadn’t thought about that…” He certainly was thinking about it now . For the first time since that first day at theater camp, Alex let his eyes wander over Zeb’s full body. Which may have been a small mistake. Given the way it started getting hard to breathe. But damn. Now that he was sweaty from working out, Zeb’s shirt clung perfectly to the planes of his chest, and the sleeves had already been slightly stretched over his shoulders and upper arms. The athletic shorts Zeb had on now weren’t nearly as flattering as his jeans from earlier, but they did show off his legs. Alex had no way of knowing that only a split second had passed, but it felt like it had been hours before he finally swallowed thickly and cleared his throat. “Looks, uhh, looks like it’s paying off.” Oh God, Alex, is that the best you could think of? 

“Thanks,” Zeb returned, and Alex thought there was a slight note of self-consciousness in it. “Discovered weight training in freshman gym class, been kind of addicted ever since. Finally got the elective into my schedule this year.”

“Elective? Weight training is a class?”

“Yep! Can’t sneak out for my post-workout coffee during school though.” Zeb looked ever so slightly cautious as he continued “Speaking of which, I’m heading to Starbucks, want to go?”

“What? Sure! That sounds -- oh, wait, I gotta call home and let my mom know I’m staying out longer.” Alex hoped he didn’t sound too uncool with that. “Was just about to call her for a pickup, don’t want her to worry or anything.”

Fortunately, Zeb seemed to understand. “Cool, cool. No license yet?”

“No second car. But yeah, still working on the license thing too.”

“Well, I’ll just go get changed while you call.” Zeb swung the gym bag he’d been holding. “Be right back.”

*****

Zeb couldn’t help but mentally high-five himself as he hurried back to the locker room to change back into his jeans and a clean shirt. He did it! He actually invited Alex to go somewhere. And  while hitting up Starbucks wasn’t really a post-workout ritual, he did go sometimes after working out, so it wasn’t that much of a stretch. Sabine will be so proud of me, he mused. Or she’ll be mad she wasn’t here to witness my smoothness. Meh, whichever.

When he rejoined Alex in the hallway, the skinny blond was just ending his call, and Zeb noticed he had the same model of cell phone as him. Oh good, something to start a conversation about .

“All good?” he asked. Alex nodded. “I've got that same phone,” Zeb pointed out, pulling it from his pocket. He showed Alex the purple faceplate, with its many scratches and dents. “Mine’s pretty beat up, though.”

Alex held up his phone, showing a pristine orange faceplate. “I don’t use mine much, so it doesn’t show much wear.”

“Why am I not surprised your phone is perfect?” Zeb laughed. “Anyway, let’s go. I need my mocha.”

As they walked down the street to the Starbucks, Zeb wracked his brain for a conversation topic. Alex was walking quietly beside him, looking at the various historic buildings and modern shops along the way. Studying Alex’s face, Zeb realized he no longer had that greenish-yellow mark under his eye that he’d noticed early in the week and later realized had to have been a bruise. 

“Your face is healed,” Zeb ventured.

“What? Um, yes,” Alex sputtered, sounding panicked, as his hand flew to his face and his fingers lightly rested where the now-healed black eye had been. He seemed almost scared as he asked “How did you know about that?” Zeb was taken aback, worried that he’d fucked up again.

“Just that I could see the yellow old bruise before, but it’s gone now. I’ve had lots of bad bruises, and a few black eyes -- I know what they look like, is all.” Zeb relaxed a bit when Alex let his hand down and seemed to calm down a little. “Sorry, didn’t mean to freak you out. Just… observing.” Just observing your FACE, ugh, Zeb, way to admit you’ve been staring at him like a creep… Despite Zeb’s self-critical thoughts, Alex didn’t seem bothered by the thought of Zeb “observing” him. He even softened into a tiny smile. 

“Thanks, I guess. For paying attention to me.” Alex seemed to want to say more, but he looked away at the brick sidewalk and Zeb decided not to push. If he was honest with himself, he wasn’t sure whether he was anxious to hear more or afraid of what Alex might say. Instead, seeing the door to Starbucks a few feet away, he put a staying hand on Alex’s arm.

“We’re here,” he said when Alex’s head jerked up to look at him questioningly. 

“Oh, right. I wasn’t paying attention.” 

Once inside, they joined the short line and their conversation came to a natural halt as Alex read the menu board. Zeb was not particularly surprised when the actor ended up ordering black tea. Since that was ready for him right away, Alex slipped away to grab a table while Zeb waited for his grande mocha. Accepting his drink from the barista, he turned to find Alex waving at him from a corner table. Nice. Don’t fuck this up again, he thought to himself.

*****

Alex was grateful for the brief time he had to himself while Zeb waited for his drink. He’d really panicked when Zeb mentioned his faded black eye, thinking that his new friend had heard something about why he’d transferred. Of course that was crazy, who would he have heard it from? Zeb didn’t seem to like ISB at all, and that probably extended to their peers at the posh prep school. Thankfully. Because no, Alex was not ready to talk about that yet. Even thinking about it indirectly got his heart palpitating. His ribs still hurt sometimes, that was reminder enough. Looking down at  his tea, Alex focused on the heat radiating out from the cup and into his fingertips. After a slow, deep breath, he was ready to look up and face Zeb again. He saw Zeb turn from the counter with a cup in his hand and waved him over.

“I guess I should’ve expected you’d be a tea kind of person,” Zeb said as he slid into the chair opposite him. “It’s so fancy.”

Alex barely contained a snort as he laughed. “Not really,” he said, ripping open the two sugar packets he’d snagged on the way to the table and pouring them into the cup. “Pretty basic, really. Just water and some dried up plant bits.”

Now it was Zeb’s turn to laugh. “Well, when you put it that way, it makes the English seem pretty silly.”

“They are,” Alex returned with a grin. “Though they got it from the Chinese. Who I guess are silly in their own way. And I mean, we fought a war over the tax on the same dried up old leaves. Pretty silly too.” He found he was enjoying Zeb’s continued laughter. 

Okay, okay, you have a point,” Zeb said, still chuckling. “Enjoy your dried leaf… soup?” 

Alex took a long, cautious sip of the scalding brew. “Ahh, so leafy.” They both laughed that time, Alex finally feeling truly comfortable. He ran a hand through his hair, and noticed Zeb following the motion with his eyes. Huh. Does he always watch me like that? “So, how’d you get started with theater? At first glance, you read more like a jock.”

“So you said this Summer. Well, freshman year, I’d spend time after school dickin’ around in the library, waiting for my ride. Mr. Jarrus told me if I wanted something productive to do, I should join the drama club, especially since he had to close the library early on rehearsal days. I didn’t want to be on stage, but Mr. Jarrus told me they needed crew, so I decided to go for it. Sabine joined too when we needed someone to paint the set, and we got to be friends with the others, so I kept going back. Got to really like it. Feels good to help put together something that people are gonna see and enjoy, ya know?”

Alex nodded knowingly. “Totally.” He sighed. “It feels good to be on stage, too. Being someone else. Trying to emulate what they would be feeling. Not having to feel your own feelings for a while.” He stopped to sip his tea, and became aware that Zeb’s gaze had turned thoughtful.

“You’re not like I thought you were.”

That brought Alex up short. He tried to keep the shock and slight offense from showing on his face before responding. “What… what did you think I was like?”

“Cocky. Stuck-up. Full of yourself.” As Zeb continued to list traits, Alex felt his eyebrows reaching ever-greater heights. “Egotistical. Attention-hungry. Typical actor.”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Alex cut in when Zeb seemed ready to continue. “Thanks for… being honest, I guess. I know I do tend to come off that way. I kind of have been that way sometimes,” he went on. Unsure of why he felt compelled to elaborate, he continued, quietly. “I’ve had to learn really quick to be more… self-aware. Try to find better ways to deal with nerves. Would you believe me if I said I’m actually really insecure?” What the Hell? Why did I just say that? Who says that out loud? Ughhh I’m such a loser!!!

“Now I would,” Zeb’s voice cut through his thoughts. “This Summer, watching you bask in the spotlight and praise, and the girls following you everywhere, I wouldn’t have. But I see it now. Sorry I was so harsh on ya.” Zeb brought his cup up for a sip as though he wanted to dunk his whole face in it. Meanwhile, Alex had time to process what he’d said.

The… girls? Oh. Oh no. Oh shit. Oh no no no. Was Zeb jealous? Shit. If he was, what did that mean? Who was he jealous of? Should I say something about that? God, I want to know, but hnnnnggggg, I don’t think I can handle that conversation right now. Ohhhhh what do I say? How do I get out of this?

Zeb rescued him from his downward spiral. “Sorry, I guess that got a little… deep. Or, personal, or whatever. Point is, you’re cooler than I realized.” An awkward pause followed. “So… moving right along…” Zeb fidgeted with the sleeve on his cup. “I keep fucking up our conversations, how about you drive?”

“Not sure I’m much better, but okay,” Alex breathed. He scrambled to come up with something neutral to talk about. “So, rehearsal was good. I learned a lot. About the drama club, I mean.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“Well, like that Mr. Jarrus and Ms. Syndulla are married. And our Malcolm is Sabine’s little brother. Wedge is really good, and Ketsu’s amazing…” I learned to identify you just by your ass, he mentally added. Zeb was smiling.

“I told you we put on good shows. We’ve got a lot of talent in the club.”

“You were right. I had thought you were just biased. Oh, and it seems Sabine’s been putting in a good word for me with people.”

“That’s Sabine for ya,” Zeb said fondly. “We’ve been friends since elementary school.”

“Just friends?” Alex couldn’t stop himself from asking the question.

“Pfffft, yeah, she’s, uh… she’s not my type. If you know what I mean.”

Alex didn’t want to let himself hope that he did know what Zeb meant. “Oh, you have a type…”

“I mean, doesn’t everybody? Kinda?” The prompting look Zeb gave him made Alex worry. But before Alex could decide on a response, Zeb continued. “Anyway, no, Sabine and me are just friends.” He leaned in conspiratorially then, and added “Although, Ezra’s hot for her, so maybe don’t compete with him, he’s at enough of a disadvantage as it is.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Alex said, finally feeling confident about something in this conversation. “She’s not my type, either.” He smiled and sipped his tea, and was trying to think of what to follow up with when his phone buzzed in his backpack. Pulling it out, he saw it was his mom calling. Damn! She has the worst timing! “I’ve gotta get this, it’s my mom.” 

As Alex talked with his mom, who was insisting it was time to come home and asking where she should pick him up, he noticed Zeb writing something on a napkin. By the time he hung up, the pen had disappeared back into Zeb’s pocket, and Zeb was sliding the napkin across the table. It read “greekxgodxzeb.” Alex looked up questioningly.

“My AIM username. If you wanna chat. Assuming you use IM, that is.” 

“I do!” Alex rushed to say. “Use IM, I mean. And yeah, I’ll hit you up. Thanks. Oh, here’s mine.” He pulled the sleeve off his cup and a pen from his backpack and scribbled down “fulcrum021,” then slid it over to Zeb. “I’ve got to meet my mom up at the school. Thanks for the invite.”

“I’ll walk with you,” Zeb said, rising from his seat. “I’m parked at school anyway, and I guess I’ve been avoiding homework long enough. Ms. Syndulla has us reading from the Canterbury Tales this weekend. It’s gonna take me forever.”

Alex chuckled, and they talked about homework all the way back to the school. This is so easy to talk about , he thought at one point. Why couldn’t we just do this that whole time? If he was honest with himself, though, he was sort of glad they’d had deeper conversation, however uncomfortable it had gotten.

*****

Instead of heading home, Zeb drove immediately to Sabine’s house. This couldn’t wait, and it definitely couldn’t be said online where there could be a record of it even if nobody would ever dig through his computer for it. Dashing up her driveway, he could hear the music spilling out of her open bedroom window, which meant she was probably sketching. Perfect time to talk. 

Sabine’s mom answered the door and smiled. “Hi Zeb, this is a nice surprise.”

“Hi Mrs. Wren. Sorry I didn’t call ahead. Can I talk to Sabine?”

She gave him one of her knowing smiles. “Sure. She’s upstairs.”

Zeb took the steps two at a time, called out a “hi” to Tristan as he passed his room, and stopped at Sabine’s partly closed door. “You decent?” he called out. In response he heard a laugh.

“Come in, dork,” Sabine’s voice sounded. As he slid in the door, he saw her sitting with her feet up on her desk and a sketchbook in her lap. “What’s up?”

Zeb plopped on her bed before answering. “You’re gonna be so proud of me.” He let the silence hang for a moment just to annoy her. “I got coffee with Alex.”

Sabine’s sketchbook hit the floor before her talky parts started cooperating. “Shut. Up! You go, boy! Who invited who? What did you talk about? I need to know!”

He told her all about catching Alex after rehearsal (because he may have stretched his workout just a smidge to make sure he was still there at the end of rehearsal), inviting him to Starbucks, the walk there, and their at-times awkward conversation and exchange of usernames. She scolded him for having brought up the black eye that Alex had so obviously been trying to hide (really, boys need to learn to use concealer properly if they’re going to use it at all), threw her eraser at him for having told Alex about his negative first impressions, and laughed at the fact that Alex had seriously asked about her relationship to Zeb (though he’d left out his comment about Ezra). “So,” he concluded, “you might be right. He might be interested. I mean, if you’re not his type, he’s either gay or totally asexual.” Sabine scoffed, and he continued. “No, really. I keep telling you, you don’t see how the guys -- and some of the girls -- watch you. And you don’t hear the guys in the locker room. I’ve had to knock some heads for you, ya know.”

“Remind me to wear a potato sack to school on Monday,” she said dryly. “What’s more important is, it sounds like he really opened up to you. I can’t imagine him admitting his insecurity at the lunch table. And he’s making such an effort to be cool at drama. And no effort to hide how he looks at you.”

It was Zeb’s turn to scoff. “I think you’re seeing what you want to see.”

“You can think that if you want,” Sabine allowed. “But I know how both of you look at each other, and you’re both pathetically obvious. Did you know your eyes practically sparkle when he messes with his hair?”

Zeb threw a pillow at her.

Chapter Text

fulcrum021: How’s Chaucer going?

Alex had seen Zeb’s username show up as being online as soon as he added him to his friends list that night, so he figured he’d go out on a limb and say hi. Zeb had offered his username first, after all. To his relief, a reply came back almost immediately.

greekxgodxzeb: hey! slow, but this is way raunchier than i expected lol

fulcrum021: LoL We read it last year, so I remember that! The Miller’s Tale, right?

greekxgodxzeb: yeah it’s super dirty

greekxgodxzeb: like the footnotes explain that the clerk grabs the wife by her crotch

greekxgodxzeb: i dunno but i’m pretty sure that’s NOT how to impress a lady

fulcrum021: LoL Yes that seems like a good way to get rejected. Not that I would know.

He didn’t really have to add that last part, but Alex hoped it was a subtle enough hint that Zeb would understand if he was interested but it would go over his head if he wasn’t. He was anxious to see Zeb’s response.

greekxgodxzeb: yeah you probably never been rejected in your life

That was not the reaction he hoped for.

fulcrum021: That’s not what I meant…

greekxgodxzeb: well i mean i’d hope you’ve never grabbed a girl by her queynte

greekxgodxzeb: never gonna forget that word now lol

fulcrum021: Nope, not by the queynte or any other part, thank you very much. And yes, it’s hilarious :D

greekxgodxzeb: what a gentleman :P

greekxgodxzeb: for the record i haven’t either

fulcrum021: Been rejected, or grabbed a girl? You’ll have to be more specific.

Alex held his breath. He was getting bolder, but he could only handle dancing this close to revealing his feelings for so long before he lost his nerve. That time was starting to run out.

greekxgodxzeb: yes :P

Zeb’s cheeky response aggravated Alex to new heights. Obviously he meant “both,” but had to be fucking coy about it. The frustration drove an even bolder response from Alex, and he decided to type before he talked himself out of it.

fulcrum021: May I ask you a personal question?

There was a pause, just long enough for Alex to second-guess himself, but once Zeb responded there was no turning back.

greekxgodxzeb: sure i guess

fulcrum021: Are you into girls? 

*****

Zeb blinked several times at the screen. Did Alex Kallus just ask about his orientation? Is that what that said? He clicked into a different chat window.

greekxgodxzeb: Sabine help he just asked if i’m into girls is he asking if i’m gay or am i reading too much into this omg help

SheComesInColors: wtf are you asking me for? Just answer him honestly DO NOT FUCK THIS UP ZEB

By the time he clicked back into the window to respond to Alex, a new message came through. One that made him realize that he should listen to Sabine more often and stop fucking things up.

fulcrum021: Sorry, that was probably too much. You don’t have to answer. I’m sorry.

greekxgodxzeb: i’m not 

fulcrum021: You’re not…?

greekxgodxzeb: not into girls., i mean sure they’re pretty and all but i’ve never like wanted to go out with them oranything

He wasn’t sure he’d ever typed anything faster in his life. And for some reason, he kept going. Even though he didn’t have confirmation that Alex was the same, Zeb felt compelled to divulge more.

greekxgodxzeb: i’ve gone out with a couple of guys b efore tho. nothing too serious, mostly just like a couple of dates and then kinda nothing happened. i guess we just didn’t click or something. but like freshman year is it really dating? I mean looking back we were just babies pretty much. stuff was really different back then. so like ive never had a relationship or whatever.

fulcrum021: That’s… wow. Thanks.

fulcrum021: For sharing all that, I mean. I appreciate you being so open.

fulcrum021: Then I guess I should tell you that I prefer guys, too. It hasn’t always been easy to tell people that.

Suddenly, Zeb felt some pieces come together in his mind. He wasn’t sure he should ask, but he felt like Alex was giving him an opening. Maybe it would be okay.

greekxgodxzeb: Can I ask you a personal question?

fulcrum021: LoL sure.

greekxgodxzeb: did that have anything to do with that black eye? you don’t have to answer if you dont’ want to

fulcrum021: It’s okay. Yes it did. The guys at my old school weren’t as accepting as you are. One of them figured it out after I wouldn’t go out with his younger sister, and he and a couple of his friends jumped me after school. It was a few minutes I think before a teacher came outside and saw what was happening and broke it up. The guys didn’t get anything more than detention, probably because they’re on the lacrosse team. That’s why I had to transfer. Only two weeks into the school year, I didn’t feel safe anymore, I was having panic attacks before school almost every day. I still don’t have much of an appetite, or sleep very well. But I’m getting better. Alliance Academy seems much more laid back and accepting of a place than ISB was. And having the show to work on helps a lot, too.

greekxgodxzeb: ok thats a lot to take in hang on

greekxgodxzeb: so first i would really like ot kick that fucker’s teeth in

greekxgodxzeb: second im glad you got the fuck out o f there

greekxgodxzeb: and also if there’s anything i can do to help you out plz let me kno

greekxgodxzeb: w

greekxgodxzeb: know. gahhh cant type

Zeb really was seeing red. Sure he’d been in plenty of fights before. And Alex could be a pain in the ass. But what the FUCK was that? Those kind of shitheads are always the people you read about in the news, that exist somewhere else , not where you are, and certainly not harming the people you know. But now they did exist here, and they did hurt someone he knew, and liked, and now felt very compelled to protect. What the fuck did they teach them at ISB Prep? Alliance Academy might be a little unusually liberal, but God, did ISB not even bother with enforcing basic human decency?

*****

Alex stared at the screen, wiping his face as his vision blurred with tears. There was just so much more to Zeb than he ever thought, and the more he learned about him, the more he wanted to see. He didn’t know what he was expecting Zeb to say about what had happened, but he definitely wasn’t expecting such an obviously visceral response. Much less an offer of help, a show of support like that. His hands moved almost on their own.

fulcrum021: I really like you, you know.

He hadn’t planned on this conversation going this far. It was just supposed to be a chance to chat, maybe draw out a little more information on Zeb’s “type,” but still keep from exposing too much of his own feelings. 

fulcrum021: I’ve liked you since camp.

fulcrum021: And now the more I get to know you, the more I like you.

Was he being too pushy here? Maybe he was being too pushy. He still didn’t know for sure how Zeb felt, and he didn’t want to go too far with this if his feelings were one-sided. And now it was taking a while for Zeb to respond. That could be a bad sign.

fulcrum021: You don’t have to say anything, I just wanted to tell you how I feel. What you just said about what happened, that means a lot to me. I thought you should know. I’ll let you get back to your homework.

greekxgodxzeb: wAIT

greekxgodxzeb: i like you too

Alex was afraid he might have misread that. Could he really be that lucky? He hadn’t wanted to get his hopes up, hadn’t wanted to believe that the clues he’d noticed were actually clues.

greekxgodxzeb: and trust me i tried not to

fulcrum021: What is that supposed to mean?

greekxgodxzeb: just to show i’m just being honest. cos ya know that goes so well for me. 

Somehow through the haze he found himself in, Alex realized that his heart was pounding and his eyes were still teary. When he laughed at Zeb’s self-deprecating sarcasm, it came out more like a sob - and then the floodgates opened. He was laughing and couldn’t stop, but at the same time he was crying so hard it was getting difficult to breathe. He found himself constantly wiping his face and trying to see the screen.

greekxgodxzeb: so, now what? 

greekxgodxzeb: you still there?

fulcrum021: hI, yes, Im still here. Just a little overwhelmed sorry

fulcrum021: what do you mean “now what?”

greekxgodxzeb: well like are we dating now or smth? sorry, i wasn’t really prepared to pour out my feelings, i don’t really know what to do

Just as he was getting a hold of himself, Alex chuckled again. That was such a Zeb thing to say. So direct. Still, he wasn’t quite sure either. How comfortable was he with the idea of diving into a relationship so suddenly, when he wasn’t even quite stable yet? And was he ready for their dynamic to change already, and in the blink of an eye?

fulcrum021: Would it be okay if we take it slow for now? I don’t really know how to handle this. It’s the best I’ve felt in ages but it’s also kind of a lot to absorb. 

greekxgodxzeb: take whatever time you need. just, are we friends? or does this take us to the “something more” point

Alex took a deep breath. He knew that there was no going back to being just friends, even though they’d only been friends less than a week. Regular friendship was just not going to be enough.

fulcrum021: I don’t think I can see you as just a friend now. That’s not enough. It’s just going to take some getting used to, that’s all.

fulcrum021: Thank you for letting me be myself. This is fucking amazing.

greekxgodxzeb: now that i’ve seen what  you’re really like behind the cocky lead actor shit, i only want  you to ever be yourself :)

By now, Alex had pulled his feet up on his chair, knees pulled to his chest, trying to not explode. How could someone be so caring and supportive of him? Especially after the terrible first impression he’d made, terrible second impression too, and the general awkward flailing that followed? And all after being vaguely acquainted for a few weeks in the summer and really only close for less than a week? Is this what those sappy movies and fairy tales were talking about?

greekxgodxzeb: oh but um is it okay if i tell Sabine? she will seriously never get off my case about making a move unless she knows

That got Alex laughing again.

fulcrum021: Sure. LoL

Chapter Text

When Alex woke on Sunday morning, he found he was clutching his extra pillow, curled around it. The first thing he realized was that it was sunny, which meant he had slept for a solid several hours. That was unusual, nowadays. As his brain warmed up, he started to remember the previous night’s conversation. He’d been talking with Zeb. And Zeb turned out to return his feelings. The memory flooded him with warmth and he hugged his pillow tighter, smiling so much his cheeks started to ache. 

The sound of his mother calling to him to help with breakfast jolted him out of his reverie. Now he noticed that, for once, he was hungry. Knowing that he couldn’t just be fully recovered by magic, he figured he’d better eat while food was appealing. 

His parents were still treating him with kid gloves. That was fine. But he didn’t miss the looks of mild surprise that they exchanged when he started humming while setting the table. When breakfast was ready, he ate slowly, not sure whether the nausea would set in or if he’d be able to finish a meal like normal. His parents were chattering about their to-do list for the day, so he zoned out and almost missed it when his dad asked, “So what did you end up doing last night?”

“Nothing much,” Alex replied. “Just chatting with a friend.” He didn’t really want to go into detail. Or rather, part of him wanted to shout from the rooftops, while another part of him wanted to protect his fledgling joy like it was the One Ring. Keep it secret, keep it safe. The latter part won out for now.

Back in his room after breakfast, Alex just wanted to get back online and talk to Zeb. He knew that Zeb had told him he wouldn’t be on til tonight because his grandmother comes over on Sundays, but he signed on anyway. Sure enough, there was Zeb’s away message:

Gramma time!

That… was just absurdly cute.

*****

Zeb’s grandmother arrived, as she always did, with baklava and a torrent of hugs and kisses. He was almost twice as tall as her now, or so it seemed, but she still made him feel like a little kid - and since she came to visit every week, the persistence of the effect was impressive. Maybe it was just because he loved her so much.

“Garazeb, honey, put this in the kitchen for me, would you?” she said, handing him the tray of baklava. “But don’t eat it all before you get there! I know that was you that time,” she added with a grin.

“Okay, Gramma,” Zeb laughed. “I’ll try to leave a couple pieces for Mom and Dad.” To be fair, absconding to his room with the whole tray and eating it all was not a mistake he was likely to repeat. Not worth the stomach ache, nor the sugar crash later. Listening to his parents greeting and catching up with his grandmother, Zeb did help himself to one piece of baklava as he deposited it in the kitchen. It crossed his mind that he’d love to let Alex try some.

After a far too big lunch, Zeb’s grandmother beckoned him to sit with her in the living room. She had a small bundle placed on the coffee table, with space cleared around it. 

“Garazeb,” she said as he sat on the couch with her, “I noticed you seem a bit distracted today. Yes, yes I can tell, I’ve known you since before you were born, remember.” She unfolded the silk scarf around the bundle on the table, revealing a long deck of cards. “You don’t have to tell me what’s bothering you, but let me read the cards for you. Your father thinks this is hokey, but really I find it helpful.”

Zeb recognized the well-worn cards. He knew that Gramma read them for his mother sometimes, when they thought he and his dad were busy. He wasn’t sure how it all worked, or if they really were some kind of psychic tool, but if Gramma wanted to read for him, and if it might help him make sense of his feelings and new relationship with Alex, why not go for it? He nodded, and Gramma smiled and began shuffling. 

“I will draw three cards. One will signify you and where you are right now. One will reveal something about the situation you are struggling with. And one will give advice to keep in mind as you proceed.”  She cut the deck. “Concentrate on what you’ve been preoccupied about, and you’ll find some answers in the cards. Are you ready?”

“Uh, yeah.” Zeb thought, as he had all day, about Alex and the new territory they’d found themselves in. Was this going to be serious? Alex wanted to take it slow, but what did that really mean? Were they dating, or were things just going to be mostly the same but… more? 

Gramma laid out the three cards and “hmmmm”ed as she looked them over.  The first one was a young man with a dog, walking obliviously towards the edge of a cliff. The second showed a knight on a horse, carrying some kind of goblet. And the third was another goblet overflowing with water, held up by a giant hand, and with a dove diving into it from above. Zeb had no idea what any of it meant. 

“Very interesting,” Gramma started, “But I suppose I should have guessed.” She smiled in that way that made her look like some ancient sage with knowledge beyond anyone’s understanding. “Well, here you are, Garazeb, it seems that you are the Fool.” As he sputtered and began to protest ( A fool? Seriously? These cards are fucking rude! he thought), she chuckled.  “Don’t take offense. That just means that you are setting out on a new journey, fresh and optimistic, but also unaware of potential dangers. That’s a good thing, as long as you begin to pay attention to your surroundings, and your instincts. See, the little dog is trying to get his attention.” 

Zeb thought about that. Setting out on a journey. That sounded about right. But listening to his instincts? He couldn’t even figure out what his instincts were telling him! 

“This next card here, he’s the Knight of Cups. It seems that someone has come into your life, bringing emotions with them.” Zeb’s eyebrows raised on reflex. Well yeah, that’s freaky. “Or perhaps it is someone who is driven by emotion, who acts from the heart. That can be very exciting. Or unsettling,” she added with a sideways look at Zeb. “I’m starting to see why you’ve been so preoccupied.” 

She picked up the last card and sighed. “And this,” she said, “this is a very positive beginning. This is the Ace of Cups, and it’s telling you that there is a seed of emotion that is sprouting. Appreciate that, Garazeb. Take care of it, and you’ll see it grow to something beautiful.” She put the card down and turned to her grandson. “Does any of this ring true for you?”

Zeb could only nod. 

“I don’t suppose you’ll tell me about this Knight of Cups you’re setting out with, will you?”

“Uh, n-not yet, Gramma. It’s kinda… new? I guess you know that from the cards. And complicated. Sort of. I’m still kinda wrapping my head around it all.”

She nodded, and smiled gently. “I understand, dear. When you’re ready.”

*****

Alex was studying his lines in his room after dinner, working hard to get the monologues down first. This also kept him in convenient proximity to his computer, its glow a bit more cheering now that there was someone he actually wanted to chat with. Not that he was waiting, per se. He was, however, quick to respond when he heard a telltale “ping!” sound.

greekxgodxzeb: hey :)

fulcrum021: Hey! How was your day?

greekxgodxzeb: it was great! i even have something nice for you

fulcrum021: Oh really? Gifts already? I feel so special! ;)

greekxgodxzeb: ha-ha, you ARE special, dumbass. anyway i wanted to tell you about something

Alex smiled and enjoyed the buoyant feeling that came over him. At the same time, he scoffed at how Zeb had chosen to express himself and shook his head, but fondly.

fulcrum021: You have a funny way of complimenting people. Ok what’s up?

greekxgodxzeb: ok so i dunno if you’re into t his kind of thing, but my Gramma reads tarot cards, and she said she noticed i looked distracted today so she read them for me. and it was kinda freaky cos they were kinda spot on

greekxgodxzeb: and i wanted to tell you about that cos ive been a little confused about where we are now after last night’s talk and the card thing made me feel like everything’s cool and we’re gonna be ok

fulcrum021: That’s encouraging. So what did they say, exactly? I don’t really know how all that works.

He was being honest. Sure, he’d heard of tarot cards of course, but all he knew was that they were some kind of fortune telling tool that so-called psychics charged a lot of money for reading in shops and on the streets in places like New Orleans. He wasn’t sure how that was going to be much help if he didn’t believe in them, but he was willing to listen if Zeb wanted to tell him about it.

greekxgodxzeb: so there wasa card to represent me, and that was a guy starting out on a journey, and then there was a card about what’s happening and that was a knight that represented someone involved with lots of emotions, so i think that’s supposed to be you coming to Alliance, and then a card for advice and that was something about new emotions and needing to like cultivate them or care for them or whatever. cool, huh?

Okay, that was pretty spot on, as Zeb had said. Weird.

fulcrum021: Very cool! I’ve never been really into fortune telling but that’s one that I want to believe.

greekxgodxzeb: she says it’s less about fortune telling and more about understanding where you are  in the universe or something like that

Alright, Alex thought. That’s a little less weird. Still not sure how that works, but I’m sure you can find whatever you’re looking for if you’re looking hard enough. Since Zeb had been so open to him, he decided to share a little of his thoughts in return.

fulcrum021: That sounds even better! I’ve been thinking about you all day. I think my parents are a little weirded out by my good mood. But I’ve been nervous too. I don’t want to screw this up already.

fulcrum021: Oh man I sound like such a weirdo, nevermind that last part.

greekxgodxzeb: lol don’t worry about it, me too. and besides, i’m used to you being weird :P

*****

Meanwhile, Zeb had opened another IM window as well. 

greekxgodxzeb: SABINE

SheComesInColors: ZEB

SheComesInColors: lol what’s up? did your Gramma come over? DID YOU SAVE ME SOME BAKLAVA???

greekxgodxzeb: omg yes i saved you some baklava, holy shit

SheComesInColors: :D

greekxgodxzeb: ok but i have more important things to tell you, dork

SheComesInColors: okspill

greekxgodxzeb: ok this is gonna be long, settle in, maybe get some popcorn or somthing

greekxgodxzeb: SO last night after i talked to you Alex was online and we were chatting and you know how i was like oh shit he asked if i like girls and was panicking and shit? 

SheComesInColors: ya

SheComesInColors: omg are you about to say what i think youre about to say???

greekxgodxzeb: so i decided to be honest withhim and said no im not but also  didnt’ really get serious with any particular guys yet but that i do prefer dudees and then he said he does too and then some other stuff that i don’t think is mine to tell you sry and then i was all like i’m glad you transferred and he was all i really like you and somehow i ended up saying i like him too and now we’re a thing but i dunno what kind of thing but we’re def not just friends anymore but we’re taking it slow whatever that means and so imn ot really sure what we are but goddamn i just like him so much and gramma read her cards for me today and it was all about someone came into my life and there’s new feelings i have to take care of and like help them grow or smth and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

greekxgodxzeb: jeez you didn’t even wait for me to type but yeah is that what you thought i was gonna say?

SheComesInColors: AAAAAAHHHHHH MY BABY IS ALL GROWN UP IM SO PROUD OF YOU ZEB!!!! :D :D :D

greekxgodxzeb: omg i already have a mom chill

greekxgodxzeb: but thank you yes i am awsome. just don’tt go talking about it at school, cos we’re just sort of figuring things out and from some things he said i don’t think he’s out so like i wanna be careful about his comfort level, k?

SheComesInColors: your secret’s safe with me, not that everybody doesn’t already see how you two look at eachother but i won’t say anything dont worry

greekxgodxzeb: thank you. Smartass.

*****

Monday morning felt a little less oppressive this week. Zeb wasn’t quite sure how long this high would last, but he was determined to enjoy it while he could. And to make it even better, Alex was still at his locker as Zeb walked up to his own. Zeb paused a few steps away to watch Alex tie his tie for a second, before stepping up to the lockers and swinging his backpack to the ground. 

“Hey,” he said simply.  Alex turned to him and broke into the biggest smile Zeb had yet seen on the kid.

The next thing he knew, Alex had barrelled straight into him and wrapped him up in a tight hug, face buried in Zeb’s chest.

Zeb looked around helplessly for a second, assessing whether anyone was watching them, before relaxing and settling his arms around Alex. This felt good, felt right. But then, as quickly as it had happened, it was over. Alex stepped back, running a hand self-consciously through his ridiculously perfect hair.

“Sorry, I just --”

“Don’t apologize. That was… nice.” Zeb cut him off. “Though we’re pretty out in the open, if you were still concerned about keeping things to ourselves.”

Alex glanced around but his self-consciousness didn’t seem to increase. “Well,” he reasoned, “it is still early, there’s hardly anybody around. Fortunately.”

Zeb grinned and straightened Alex’s tie. “Good point. Damn, you look sharp in this uniform.” That won him the most adorable sheepish, blushing smile from Alex, and Zeb made a mental note to compliment him more often.

*****

Finally, lunchtime! Sabine hurried to catch the boys at their lockers before heading to the cafeteria; this way, she could be sure to talk to them before Abe and Chop were around. She did her best to blend in with the crowd and avoid them seeing her until she was close enough to wrap one arm around each of them, earning some hilarious startled noises.

“You two are SO CUTE,” she half-whispered at them. “And I’m so happy that you got your shit together. Seriously, we all were about to start taking bets.”

Alex blushed and mumbled a “Thanks?” as Zeb grumbled at her.

“Seriously, Sabine? I told you so you wouldn’t be on my case,” he groused. “Ease off, or no baklava for you!”

That was enough to make her release him. “Fine, not one more word, I just had to get that out. But, uh, speaking of, did you bring it?” She flashed her most winning grin.

“Oh my GOD, yes, let’s get our table, okay?”

After herding along with the rest of the Junior and Senior classes towards the cafeteria, the three of them settled in to their usual table with Abe and Chop -- and Sabine noticed that this time, Zeb made sure to sit next to Alex. But that didn’t hold her attention for long, because then Zeb pulled two plastic baggies out of his lunch bag, each with a perfectly flaky, golden and sticky, delightful square of homemade baklava. This was the best thing about Mondays, when there was some of Zeb’s Gramma’s specialty left over. Sabine all but snatched the baggie that Zeb held out towards her, and started working her way past the honey sticking to the insides of the bag with two dainty fingers. But then she noticed what was playing out across the table from her between Zeb and Alex. 

“This is for you,” Zeb said, handing the other baggie to Alex. “My Gramma makes it every week. It’s the best.” 

Alex looked the tiniest bit awed, and thanked Zeb as though he’d just done him the highest possible honor. It was adorable . And then… oh boy, then Alex opened the bag and tried to reach the pastry without getting his hands sticky. That was entertaining.

“It’s all…” he muttered, “How do you…? The honey’s all over the… oh my GOD it’s so sticky!” 

Sabine laughed. “That’s the best part! Licking your fingers when you’re done eating!”

By now, Chop had noticed what was going on. “Hey,” he whined, “How come you didn’t bring me any?”

Sabine couldn’t wait to see how Zeb covered this, and then she saw that the answer was “poorly.” He was stammering out how there were only two pieces left, and ran out of steam, so she swooped in to try and save him. “We got them because he’s a senior,” she pointed at Alex, “and I’m a girl. We outrank you guys.”

Chop grumbled something under his breath about unfairness, but Zeb flashed her a grateful look. She just winked and enjoyed her baklava.

Chapter Text

Alex continued riding high on happiness for most of the week. He enjoyed the pre-rehearsal Starbucks runs, felt a little more relaxed at lunch, and despite the odd daydream or two, was even better able to focus in class. He knew it couldn’t last, felt the anxiety still hovering at the edges of his mind, but he was determined not to give it an opening -- or at least to resist as long as he could.

As it turned out, Thursday was about as far as he could get. Zeb was studying for a test the next day (“No fair throwing a test at us so early in the year,” Zeb had grumbled. “It’s already a month in,” Alex had pointed out, but Zeb was not to be swayed), so Alex had sworn to not chat with him that night. Instead, he sat at his desk finishing homework and studying lines. When he heard an IM message come in, he was both excited and ready to scold Zeb for giving up on studying.

YogiLyste: hi Alex. how r u doing?

That was not the friend he was anticipating. Rather, it was the one person from ISB that he had not blocked. He hadn’t had the heart to block him, because this underclassman looked up to him. In a school full of shallow overachievers where Alex had always felt isolated despite the praise his peers gave him for his grades, his looks, and his drama club stardom, Yogar Lyste had been genuine. Two years behind him in school, Yogi saw Alex as everything he aspired to be, and rather than resenting Alex for it, he followed him around like a puppy. And Alex had become somewhat fond of him, having never had a younger sibling or anybody to look up to him. But right now, this was too soon to be hearing from an ISB friend. He wasn’t ready -- he could already feel his heart rate increasing. But he couldn’t just blow him off.

fulcrum021: Hi Yogi. Ok. Settling in to my new school.

YogiLyste: thats good! u making friends? do they have a drama club?

fulcrum021: Yes and yes. The people at Alliance are generally pretty friendly. And there’s someone I met at theater camp, so at least I already knew somebody. 

YogiLyste: im glad. hey im sorry i wasnt there to help.

fulcrum021: What?

Alex knew full well what Yogi was talking about. But even as his lungs seemed to shrink and he bit his lip, he played dumb, hoping that maybe it was about something else. Or trying to hope, anyway.

YogiLyste: u kno, when those guys jumped u. i wish id been there to help u.

I am not going to do this. I am NOT going to panic. It’s in the past, it’s in the past, I’m FINE, I’m fine, I’m fine…

fulcrum021: Thanks, Yogi. I have to go study my lines. I’ll talk to you again sometime, ok? 

His hands were shaking as he typed, and he gave Yogi just enough time to reply with a quick “ok bye” before closing AIM and shutting his computer down entirely. It took a while to slow his heart rate and get his breathing under control, he didn’t even know how long. Even though he’d been taught some breathing exercises, they didn’t always help; however, he still tried them. Eventually, his mom would come in and nag him to get to bed. He’d obey, but he knew it wouldn’t necessarily mean getting any sleep.

Later that night, he heard rather than felt his back hitting the brick wall and his feet scraping out from under him as he crumpled to the sidewalk. He could see the feet coming towards him as though they were in slow-motion. With his arms over his head, he opened his mouth to call out for help, but dust puffed out instead, soundless. Teachers that hadn’t been there the first time walked by without looking, and other students came from nowhere to laugh. This time, he could hear crying, and he peeked through his arms to see Yogi being held nearby and forced to watch. As he woke, he thought he might have heard an angry shout that hadn’t happened before.

Panting, Alex sat up in bed and looked at the clock. 3-something in the morning. That was about right. He rested his head in his hands. Five nights of pretty good sleep had been too good to be true; he knew at some point the nightmares would come back. He couldn’t blame Yogi. It was bound to happen anyway. Same dream, same time of night. There had been new elements this time, like Yogi being there, but it was essentially the same. The same pain, the same helplessness, the same terror.

In the dim light of the alarm clock, he stumbled to his desk and turned his computer on. If he was going to be awake, he might as well do something, and he had found that Solitaire was just enough thinking to distract him, but not so much thinking that he couldn’t play half-asleep. When the IM window popped up, it took him a second to remember that AIM started automatically when his computer booted up.

greekxgodxzeb: what are you doing up?

Blinking and shaking the hair out of his eyes, Alex clumsily typed a response.

fulcrum021: i could ask you the same thing.

greekxgodxzeb: i asked first :P

He hazily considered lying or brushing the question off, but then his mind managed to recall that Zeb had been so eager to help him, and so accepting of him. He could actually tell him.

fulcrum021: Bad dream.

There was a pause, but just as Alex started to doubt the wisdom of telling the truth, Zeb responded.

greekxgodxzeb: do you wanna talk about it?

fulcrum021: Not really, but thank you.

fulcrum021: What about you? You can’t possibly still be studying.

greekxgodxzeb: oh yes I can 

greekxgodxzeb: god I hate civics class

greekxgodxzeb: like i get the basics of democracy, sure. but like how many is a quorum? how many reps in the house of representatives? when was this amendment ratified? I don’t fucking know, i suck at numbers

Alex found himself chuckling, though he realized it was probably best not to tell Zeb how amused he was. But he was intrigued.

fulcrum021: It’s not math, though. You mean you just can’t remember them?

greekxgodxzeb: yeah. As soon as numbers are involved, i can’t keep them straight

fulcrum021: Want me to quiz you?

greekxgodxzeb: you wouldn’t mind?

fulcrum021: Not at all. Email me a list of the stuff you’re struggling with. My email’s the same as my screenname, it’s an aol address.

greekxgodxzeb: wow thank you. sorry to keep you up. Brb gonna type that email

fulcrum021: not at all. Thanks for giving me something to do.

Alex sat back and waited for the email. It was nice to have company for once.

*****

When they’d met at their lockers that morning, Alex had high-fived Zeb and wished him luck on his Civics test. Now, at lunch, he patted Zeb’s shoulder while Zeb rested his head face-first on the lunch table. 

“I hate everything,” the larger boy grumbled. 

“Oh come on,” Sabine countered. “It can’t have been that bad.”

“You didn’t stay up all night trying to memorize everything in the universe,” came the responding grumble. Alex couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh. 

“Do you at least think you did okay on the test?” he asked.

“I dunno. I think I kept it all straight, but ‘m not sure.”

“How many Representatives are in the House?”

“Four-thirty-five.”

“Yes! You got that one at least!” Alex scooted a can of Coke next to Zeb’s head, bumping the vending-machine-cold can against his ear and getting a yelp in return. “Have some caffeine.”

“I don’t know how you’re not exhausted too,” Zeb complained, but he did pick his head up and open the can. “Thanks for helping, though.” He proceeded to chug the soda.

“I’m always exhausted, but you’re welcome.” If Chop’s eyebrows went up and he nudged his cousin, Alex tried not to notice. At least, until Abe spoke up after the jab to his ribs.

“That’s nice of you to help him study so late.”

“Oh, well,” Alex hedged, “I couldn’t sleep. So. He emailed me some notes and I quizzed him. No big deal.” Sabine was looking from him to Zeb and back again with a smile, and Abe and Chop seemed to have some kind of silent, eye-contact-only conversation.

“That’s extra nice of you,” Chop chipped in. “We all usually just let him wallow in his cram sessions. He brings it on himself, you know.” Zeb glared at Chop and crushed his soda can.

“Are all-nighters a regular thing for you? Did I just set a dangerous precedent of helping you with all-nighters?” Alex asked, adding “I mean, I’m happy to help with studying... But maybe a little earlier than the middle of the night before? God, what must exam week be like for you?” 

Sabine laughed. “Oh, you don’t want to know.”

*****

“Hey, Alex, before you leave,” Zeb called out, catching up to Alex at their lockers after school that day. “Hey, um, do you wanna go with Sabine and Ketsu and me to the mall after rehearsal tomorrow?”

Alex turned to him with a surprised-looking smile. “Sure, that would be fun. I was going to see if you wanted to go to Starbucks again tomorrow, but you beat me to it.”

That flustered Zeb ever so slightly - Alex really must be feeling more comfortable if he was going to invite Zeb out. “Oh, I mean, if you wanted to hang out just the two of us, that’s--”

“No, it’s fine!” Alex cut in. “I don’t mind going with the girls. It’s been a while since I’ve had a social group I really feel part of.” Zeb was taken aback.

“You mean you didn’t have any friends at ISB?”

“Not that, really, just that I never felt close with any of them.” Alex thought about Yogi. “There was one underclassman that was really genuine, everybody else there was just very… shallow. Friendships there were more like… strategic alliances, or something. I guess we just all knew each other’s parents were all executive types, and everybody always wanted to make a good impression with somebody to get the best internship over the summer.”

“Wait, really?” Zeb blinked. “Are your parents execs somewhere?” Alex seemed to start putting up a wall, so Zeb hurried to follow up, “I mean, it doesn’t matter if they are, I just don’t know anything about your family. And wait, did you do all that ass-kissing too?” That got a small chuckle out of Alex.

“No, not me. I was too concerned with my acting career to want any of those shitty office internships. No, I always spent Summer understudying with one of the local professional theaters, or taking workshops, or, well, going to theater camp,” Alex finished with a grin that had Zeb both melting a little on the inside and cursing him for being so damn pretty. “But, to answer your first question, yeah, my dad’s the CFO for one of the big law firms around.” He seemed reluctant to be more specific, so Zeb took the hint. 

“Okay, I won’t ask which one. I don’t need any internships anyway,” he added with a wink. “Just, uh, remind me to dress up if you ever invite me to your house.”

Alex laughed, easing the little bit of tension that had grown. “Please don’t. I’m tired of my friends trying to impress my parents!”

“Well,” Zeb leaned in and lowered his voice, “if you ever want to introduce me as more than your friend , I will want to be presentable.” He was rewarded with the cutest squeak and short muffled laugh as Alex reacted to Zeb’s breath on his ear and clamped a hand over his own mouth. Stepping back with a smirk, he changed the subject. “Oh, so, uh, in the interest of full disclosure and whatever, tomorrow’s trip to the mall is because the girls want to go shopping for Homecoming dresses, and I got selected as designated opinion-giver. So… I guess I do have ulterior motives for inviting you.”

“You want some company in your misery?” Alex laughed. “I suppose I can handle that. I mean, you could’ve dragged anybody with you, but you chose me. I’m flattered.”

Chapter Text

Alex woke with Yogi’s helpless shouts mixed with his own desperate screams ringing in his ears. Getting his breathing under control, he looked at the clock to find that at least he’d gotten more sleep before the dream assaulted him this time - it was a little past 5:00 instead of 3:00. Might as well just get up, he thought. I can really take my time getting ready.

The shower felt especially good this morning, the hot water rinsing away the tension left in his shoulders after waking from the dream. With the extra couple of hours he had and the fact that his parents wouldn’t be getting up and washing for a while yet, Alex lingered and enjoyed his shower. And if he thought about a certain olive-skinned techie while enjoying, well, nobody else would know.

He was just about to sit down at the table with some eggs and toast when his mom came down to the kitchen. Catching her curious look, he explained simply, “Woke up early. So I had the time to cook.”

“That’s good, honey.” She seemed satisfied with his answer, and really, he knew she understood enough that she didn’t need to ask for more details. As she passed behind his chair, she dropped a quick kiss on his wet hair. “You’ve got a long day today, haven’t you? That reminds me, I wanted to give you some money to take with you.” She headed towards the front room to get her purse, calling over her shoulder “Tell me again about these kids you’re going with?”

Alex sighed, but he figured he shouldn’t be surprised to be getting the third degree about who he was spending time with. Parents. “Zeb is the techie I met at camp this Summer, he’s a good guy.” Very big and very protective and also very handsome, he kept to himself. “Sabine is also on the crew, she’s an artist, and she’s been really nice to me, she really helped me settle in that first week. And Ketsu is our Lady Macbeth. She’s also Sabine’s friend, and she’s been really nice, too.”

“I guess I’ll just have to take your word for it,” his mom replied, handing him some cash. “I wish I had met them, but I guess you are growing up. Can’t keep an eye on you forever.” She gave him a look that suggested she wished she could. “And you’re sure you’re comfortable being around them outside of school?”

“Mom.” Alex fixed her with an exasperated stare. “I wouldn’t have accepted the invitation if I wasn’t. And… don’t worry about that . It’s fine. Really.” He read in her look that she was, in fact, worried about “ that .” “For one thing, that happened at school anyway, and second of all, I’m… I’m pretty sure these three know already.”

“Know what? What are we talking about?” Alex’s dad was rounding the corner into the kitchen.

“Alex is going to the mall with some other kids from the drama club this afternoon,” his mom supplied. “And I just want to make sure he’s going to be okay.” Alex struggled to not roll his eyes, but she wasn’t finished. “And how do you know they know about you?”

Before Alex could answer, while he was still wondering if it was wise to tell his parents that he had told one of them and another had seen through him from the start, his dad cut in again.

“Alex, just be sure you can take care of yourself, okay?”

“I will, Dad.”

*****

Zeb kicked his heels against the brick wall beneath him, swinging his dangling legs. It had been a while since he’d gotten anywhere this early. He couldn’t remember the last time he beat the teachers to construction - usually they were talking and joking over donuts and coffee backstage when he arrived. He checked his gym bag again, making sure he’d brought an extra set of clean clothes for after his workout. As he zipped the bag shut, a BMW pulled up to the curb, the passenger’s side door opening.

“Yes, Mom, I will,” he heard Alex say as he stepped out of the car with his backpack. Then Alex looked up, and what looked like relief spread across his face. “Zeb!”

“Hey, Alex. How’s it going?” Zeb hopped down off the wall and started to cross the sidewalk.

“Good, hey, I’m so glad you’re here,” Alex said quickly, grabbing his arm and practically dragging him to the car. “Mom, this is Zeb. Zeb, this is my mom.”

“Hi, Mrs. Kallus,” Zeb said automatically as he bent down to see in the car. “It’s nice to meet you.”

The blonde woman peering back at him was smiling, so that was a good sign. But it was just a polite smile, the kind that’s only on the surface; her eyes showed that she was a bit apprehensive. “Nice to meet you, Zeb. You met Alex at theater camp this Summer?”

“Yes, ma’am. Though we’ve gotten to know each other more at school.”

“Well, you boys have fun this afternoon,” she said in a tone that sounded more like watch yourselves than have fun . “Alex, just call me when you need me to pick you up, okay?”

“I can bring him home, too, Mrs. Kallus,” Zeb offered. He was driving him to the mall, so it only made sense, right? She looked at him appraisingly before her eyes flicked to Alex. When Zeb looked at his friend, he could see the pleading look Alex was giving his mother. 

“Alright. Thank you, Zeb. Alex, be careful. I love you.”

“Love you, too, Mom.”

They watched her drive away, and then Alex turned to face Zeb and dropped his forehead against Zeb’s chest. “Thank you,” he said emphatically. “I get that she’s worried but oh my God .”

Zeb laughed a little as he grabbed Alex’s shoulders and pushed him back far enough to see his face. “Well, little does she know, I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. None of us would.” He pulled Alex back into a hug, and felt a small thrill at the sensation of Alex relaxing in his arms. Almost immediately, though, he let go, eliciting a small disappointed noise from Alex. “Here comes Mr. Rex.”

“Mornin’, boys!” the teacher called out. “What, are you here even before Mr. Jarrus? That’s unusual. Well, here, lemme let us all in.” As they approached the door, they heard another car pull up to the curb. When they turned, it was Mr. Jarrus getting out, leaning back in to kiss Ms. Syndulla. Zeb and Alex looked at each other a little awkwardly - even knowing the two were married, it was weird to see your teachers showing affection. And on top of that, Zeb wondered if he was the only one becoming hyper-aware of his more-than-friend, not-quite-boyfriend standing so close to him while that was going on.

“Sorry I’m late!” Mr. Jarrus called ahead as Ms. Syndulla sped off to do… whatever it was that she did before Saturday rehearsals. “Car trouble. Had to have Heraaa-uh, Ms. Syndulla drop me off. Zeb, Alex, you guys are early,” he finished, having noticed in mid-sentence the two students watching him. Zeb tried not to laugh; it’s not as though they didn’t know her first name. But the teachers were always so careful to only use their more formal, in-classroom names in front of students anyway, and it was a little bit silly. 

“We’re just super ready to get started, Mr. Jarrus,” Zeb joked. “Right, Alex?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m always early,” Alex retorted. “Because I’m always ready.”

“Uh-huh,” Mr. Jarrus replied with a dubious look, while Mr. Rex stifled a laugh. “You’ll grow out of that, kid. Come on, everybody inside. If you’re so ready to get started, why don’t you do us a favor and start bringing the pieces out onto the stage where we can work on ‘em. Meanwhile, Rex,” he held up a paper bag. “I brought our donuts. Let’s get the coffee pot started.”

Me and my big mouth , Zeb inwardly griped. “Yes, sir! Alex, come on.” 

*****

A few hours later, Alex was feeling pretty good about himself. He’d proven himself to be competent with a screw-gun and careful in taking measurements. Never let it be said that this actor can’t do the hard work, too, he thought, smiling. Even Chop had been unable to give him shit about anything that morning. But Ms. Syndulla had arrived, signalling that he’d better start transitioning from building to acting, and he was hastily gulping down the sandwich he’d made that morning. 

“We’ll be back to get you and Ketsu after rehearsal,” Sabine said, coming up behind him. 

“I’ll be here,” he said with a shrug, trying to look more chill about it than he felt. He hadn’t been exaggerating when he told Zeb that it had been a long time since he really felt like part of a group of friends, and he was so looking forward to their outing. Sabine seemed to catch on to his energy despite his attempt at nonchalance, and she chuckled as she waved and walked off. 

He was just finishing off the sandwich when Ketsu arrived. “Hey there, Husband,” she tossed out her usual greeting to him.

“Hello, dearest chuck,” he returned, quoting the play. Ketsu snorted in amusement.

“I still don’t get that line.”

“I think ‘chuck’ is supposed to be like ‘chick,’ so it’s like ‘my little chickadee’ but in Elizabethan,” Alex offered. This time she laughed outright.

“You are too smart,” she said, throwing an arm around his shoulders and steering him towards the stage. “Ready for warmups?”

Rehearsal went well, but it also went by in a bit of a blur; the anticipation of spending time with Zeb and the others (mostly Zeb) may have enhanced the manicness of his performance in the banquet scene just a little. But Ms. Syndulla seemed to really like that, so he made a mental note to tap into that feeling whenever that scene started. Finally, they were finished, and Alex hurried over to get his clean shirt out of his backpack. He’d just pulled his shirt off to change when he noticed Zeb and Sabine coming in the door, and Zeb waving at him with a grin. 

“Be right there!” he called, but Ms. Syndulla approached him just as he was saying it. He scrambled to get the clean tshirt on as she addressed him.

“Alex, great job today. I can only imagine how much smoother your performance will be once you’re off-book.”

“Thanks, Ms. Syndulla!” He couldn’t deny that praise like that always gave him a glowing feeling. 

“I have a question, though. How do you feel about growing in your sideburns?”

“Ma’am?”

“For the character. Is that something you’d be comfortable doing?”

“Sure, I can try it,” he hedged. How would he look with sideburns? He had trouble picturing it.

“We can try you with a beard, too, but I think the sideburns would give Mac a bit of a different character. I don’t want all of you having the same style.”

“I’ll give it a go,” Alex promised. 

“Great. See you Tuesday.” As she walked away, Alex grabbed his backpack and beelined for the back where Zeb and Sabine were waiting by the doors. Ketsu got there a step ahead of him, so she and Sabine peeled off to get her car. 

“Ready?” Zeb asked, though Alex almost didn’t hear him. He was busy noticing that Zeb had also put on a clean shirt, one that fit him a little more snug than his other one. It was both a vast improvement and a slight problem.

“Huh? Yeah! Let’s go… watch the girls shop!” He put some strained enthusiasm into that last part, hoping to make Zeb laugh. To his delight, it worked.

*****

From the time they all parked, through the first store of dress-try-ons, and all the way to grabbing a bite in the food court, Sabine was continuously amused by the boys. And also proud of Zeb. She hadn’t seen him radiating happiness like this in a long time, and if he hadn’t gotten over himself and opened up to Alex, she wouldn’t be seeing it now. He took such an interest in everything that Alex pointed out. If Alex started to lag behind the group, Zeb would make sure he caught up. It was adorable.

She wasn’t sure, though, if it was equal to or more adorable than the way that Alex’s eyes kept drifting to that snug t-shirt Zeb was wearing (which of course he picked out on purpose), and the tiny smile that seemed permanently affixed to Alex’s face. She could tell that Alex wasn’t entirely sure of himself in this group dynamic. Zeb had told her that Alex hadn’t had many real friends at his old school, and it was kind of obvious in the way he hesitated to join the conversation or apologized when he accidentally brushed arms with one of them as they walked together. But despite all of that, he looked happy in a way she hadn’t seen at school, as though this was some kind of proof to him that they accepted him. At least she hoped it was.

Meanwhile, the boys had been very helpful in reviewing dresses. The first one Sabine had tried on, a slim hot pink one with cutouts in the sides, had gotten weird looks from the boys as soon as she stepped out of the dressing room. Apparently the cutouts moved in weird ways when she walked, so that one was a no. Ketsu got a lukewarm reaction in a sequined dress (“It looks… sharp. Like someone would cut themselves on it.”), though they liked her choice of a slippery red satin one, and Zeb all but pushed Sabine back into the dressing room when she came out in a babydoll style with a lace overlay (“It’s so not you!!!”). When she came out wearing her favorite pick so far, a purple slip dress with spaghetti straps that meant she had to go braless, that’s when things got interesting.

“Ok,” Zeb started slowly. “Do you want Ezra to have a heart attack?”

“I’m not wearing it for him , smartass! Just tell me how it looks!”

“No, I know you’re not wearing it for anybody, I’m just asking. Because he will.”

“I think what Zeb’s trying to say,” Alex cut in, “is that you look sexy.”

“Yeah, something like that. Except that it’d be weird if I said it.” 

“Maybe, but she does, objectively, look really sexy in that dress.”

“Well yeah, I just… we’ve been friends too long for me to say that.”

“Interesting. I would think that if you’ve been friends for so long, it would be no problem to say she looks sexy. Because there’s no strings attached, or anything.”

Zeb finally lowered his voice and hissed in Alex’s direction “Look, can you please stop saying ‘sexy’ in the middle of the Hecht’s ladies’ section? Or, like, at all?” 

Sabine, meanwhile, was observing all of this with her hands on her hips and an exasperated scowl on her face. She didn’t quite hear Alex’s response, because Ketsu emerged from the dressing room, took one look at her, and settled the discussion. 

“Damn, you look hot in that dress!”

Having accomplished what they set out to do, the girls had their favorites put on hold (“Just in case we spot something better,” Sabine had explained to the boys when they asked) and Ketsu announced that she was hungry. That’s what led them to the moment that was unfolding now, in which Sabine and Ketsu had gotten food and snagged a table in the crowded food court and were waiting for Zeb and Alex to get through the Panda Express line and join them.

“So what is the deal with those two?” Ketsu asked Sabine. “Are they dating or what?”

Sabine knew Zeb would kill her if she broke her promise to keep their budding relationship quiet, so she hedged a bit. “More like the ‘or what’ part of that. But aren’t they adorable?”

“I feel like I’m in a Freddie Prinze, Jr. movie.”

“But who’s the jock, and who’s the ugly-girl-turned-prom-queen?” Sabine asked innocently. “Or are you thinking more like I Know What You Did Last Summer ?”

“Oh, stop!” Ketsu burst out laughing and swatted Sabine on the arm, just as the boys made it to the table. Sabine tried to swallow her laughter, but failed.

“What’d we miss?” Zeb asked, looking back and forth between the two girls. Alex looked apprehensive, as though maybe he thought they were laughing at him.

“Nothing,” Sabine said hurriedly. “Just, you know, girl talk.”

*****

Zeb was feeling pretty good so far. He was pretty sure the girls had been talking about him and Alex before they sat down, but whatever, he was having fun with Alex around. The thought briefly crossed his mind that if someone had told him in the Summer that he’d be developing a crush on the snob from ISB Prep by the end of September, he would’ve laughed in their face. And yet, here he was, sitting next to him, watching him eat. Noticing how much he ate. Noticing that he didn’t seem to eat very much. Wondering why he seemed to be finished after just a few bites. Wait…

“You not hungry or somethin’?”

Alex looked at him startled, as though he’d been caught doing something wrong. “No, I’m just… yeah, not that hungry. Why? Do you want the rest?”

“No, I was just… noticing. Come to think of it, you don’t have much of a lunch at school, either. D’you, like, not eat?”

“What? I’m… I’m fine. Just don’t worry about it.” Alex glanced nervously at Sabine and Ketsu, then looked down at his tray. Zeb could tell when someone was trying to avoid a subject, and he was debating whether he should let it go or be more concerned when Sabine saved the day.

“I’m gonna get a smoothie,” she announced, standing up. “Ketsu, you want a smoothie? Come with me.” With a glance back at Zeb, she tugged Ketsu along and walked away from the table.

“Sorry,” Zeb started, “didn’t mean to--”

“I just can’t eat when I’m anxious. I’m not starving myself, if that’s what you’re thinking. I ate fine this morning, I’m just… y’know. This is a lot of fun, it’s just also kind of more nerve-wracking than I realized it would be.” Alex still hadn’t looked up from his tray, but Zeb saw his eyes flicker to the side to look at him for a split-second, before a lock of hair slid out of place and veiled his eyes from the side. “You’d be amazed how much pressure comes with just ‘being yourself’ sometimes.”

“Sorry I brought it up.” Zeb reached out and, with one finger, moved aside the curtain that Alex’s hair had formed. “Just was concerned. You, uh, you want some tea?” Alex finally looked at him, confused at the seemingly random offer. “There’s a Starbucks down the next branch. I’ll get you some tea, if it’ll help.”

Alex just looked at him for a few seconds, processing, then blinked. “Yeah. Yeah, that’d be good. Thanks.”

“Soon as the girls get back we’ll head that way,” Zeb promised, grabbing their trays and getting up to throw them away. “Ooh, wait, one thing. You don’t have to eat it, but…” He grabbed the fortune cookies off of each tray and tossed them on the table. “Can’t forget the fortune cookies!”

When Sabine and Ketsu got back to the table, Alex was at least eating his fortune cookie, and Zeb was reading his own fortune, cookie long gone. It said “A thrilling time is in your immediate future,” and he snickered. “What’s your fortune say?” he asked, poking Alex.

“It’s ‘You have an active mind and a keen imagination.’”

“...in bed,” Sabine tacked on with a grin. Zeb and Ketsu cracked up, but then Zeb noticed Alex’s eyes go wide and his face get red.

“W-- what ?” Alex stammered, looking at Sabine, then looking to Zeb for help.

“You don’t know that trick?” Zeb asked. “Every fortune cookie fortune is funnier when you add ‘in bed’ to the end of it.” Alex looked a little less likely to have a heart attack, so he went on. “Mine’s perfect. It says ‘A thrilling time is in your immediate future’... in bed.” Zeb grinned, while Ketsu and Sabine had to lean on each other to keep from falling over as they laughed. To Zeb’s immense relief, Alex laughed this time, too. 

“Ah, I see,” Alex said. “Okay that is perfect. Let me know how that goes for you,” he added with a smirk.

*****

Already, Alex was starting to calm down. The exchange with Zeb, and the fortune cookie revelation had somehow made him relax a bit. Maybe being in on a joke with them made him feel a little more like he was part of the group, he wasn’t sure. In any case, having a little bit of time with just Zeb was a real relief -- the girls had gone on ahead to their next stop. He’d thanked Zeb three, maybe four, times already for understanding, and for buying him tea, and now he stood beside him at the register, watching him pay for their drinks and discovering how calloused and strong his hands looked. None too subtly, he looked at his own hand to compare; his hands were soft, his fingers narrow, and he wondered what Zeb’s broad, toughened palm would feel like against his own.

“You in there?” Alex blinked, finally noticing the hand in question waving in front of his face. “C’mon, let’s wait out of the way.” He let Zeb nudge him off to the side.

“Sorry, zoned out for a sec,” he said lamely. “Thanks for the tea.”

Zeb laughed a little and leaned his forearm on Alex’s shoulder. “You already said that, but you’re welcome. Thanks for coming with me today.”

With warmth spreading through him, Alex responded earnestly, saying “I’m happy to’ve come.” They shared a smile and Alex started to think that he could spend all day just looking at Zeb, but the voice of the barista broke through.

“One grande mocha,” the kid about their age said, “and one hot tea for your boyfriend.”

“Uh, we’re not--” they both started to say, but the barista had already walked away. They looked at each other, and Alex wasn’t sure if he was more taken aback by the fact that the barista had assumed they were dating or the way that they started to deny it in unison.

Zeb finally shrugged. “Close enough,” he said, and grabbed their drinks. “Let’s go catch up with the girls.”

Trailing after Zeb, Alex allowed himself to enjoy the thought of something he wanted but wasn’t ready for. Maybe eventually… That would be nice...

Chapter Text

“Take the next left,” Alex instructed. 

“Got it.” Zeb turned on his turn signal. “I’m glad your mom let me drive you home, I mean, it’s not like it’s very far.”

“Me too. And I’m impressed she held off so long on calling me. I figured two hours and I’d start hearing from her being all like ‘What time are you coming home? Don’t be late! I must keep you in my sight at all times!’ and stuff.” Zeb chuckled, but Alex went on. “Seriously, I mean, she’s always been a little over protective, but since what happened at my old school, it’s like she wants to bubble-wrap me.”

“Hey, that’s not a bad idea,” Zeb mused. 

“Ex cuse me? I’m not that fragile!”

“No, I mean, bubble wrap is fun! Enough to wrap you up in would easily be, like, a day’s worth of entertainment.” Zeb tried to picture it in his mind, and grinned. “I wonder how many bubbles I could pop just by squeezing you…”

“You could just, you know, get bubble wrap . Why do I have to be wrapped in it?”

“I dunno, for fun? You said it first.” Zeb knew he was getting under Alex’s skin, but he couldn’t help himself.

“I said that’s what my mom wants.”

“Ok, well, what’s your dad think?”

“He wants me to be able to stand up for myself. Which I always felt like I did a pretty good job of, but then nobody ever tried to beat the shit out of me before. Especially not five people at once.”

“That would make a difference,” Zeb growled. “No offense, but I don’t see you being the type to throw a punch, even at just one guy.”

“I could,” Alex said defensively. “But no, I do prefer to talk my way out of things.”

Zeb found himself wishing he could just follow Alex around everywhere, like a bodyguard. He even opened his mouth to say so, before realizing that he’d just sound like Alex’s mom, and he didn’t want to push Alex away by falling into that trap. Instead, he settled for saying simply “Well, I’ve got your back, from now on.”

Alex was quiet just long enough that Zeb had to glance over to make sure he was okay; Alex was just staring at him with a sort of helpless awe or admiration, and at the eye contact, he finally spoke, just to say “Thanks, Zeb.”

“It’s no big deal,” Zeb said, self-conscious. He turned up the music (a Disturbed CD that Alex had bought that day) and re-focused on driving. “Where do we turn next?”

“Oh, keep going a ways, and then you’ll turn right just past the animal hospital.” Alex settled back in his seat and, after a moment, Zeb could just hear him singing along to the CD under his breath. He strained to hear Alex over the sound from the stereo, but he kept losing the sound of Alex’s voice.

“You can go ahead and sing if you want.”

“What?” Alex startled to attention. “Oh, I didn’t even realize I was. Nah, I’m good.”

“Don’t wanna sing in front of me? I thought you were a performer,” Zeb teased.

“It’s different when you can’t see the people that are watching you. Easier when the lights are in your eyes and you’re not one-on-one.”

“Gotcha. Well, either way, I didn’t expect you to be a Disturbed fan. They’re one of my favorites.”

“Really? Me too.” Zeb thought there might have been a note of relief in Alex’s voice. “I think he’s got a cool voice. I listen to a lot of stuff, though. Oh, this is that right turn.”

They had gotten close enough to the house that Alex had to focus on giving directions, so the conversation had to stop, but Zeb made a mental note to find out more about what Alex liked. And to try and actually hear him sing.

*****

Alex couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed as they pulled up at his house. In spite of his anxiety, he’d had a great time that evening, and would’ve been happy to keep spending time with Zeb. He wanted to say so, but found that the words caught in his throat. Won’t that sound sappy? Don’t want him to think I’m reading too much into a group trip to the mall.

“I’m glad you came with us,” Zeb interrupted his thoughts. “It was really fun.”

Well, that made it easier for Alex to say the same. “Thanks for including me. I had a great time. Really.”

“Maybe next time we’ll just go ourselves. Y’know, without having the girls to follow around. Just do what we want to do.”

“That sounds good. I’m game whenever you are,” Alex said, trying to sound casual, though he suspected he sounded anything but.

“How about Friday?”

“What? Yeah, sure! Friday should be good!” Alex cringed a little at how enthusiastic he sounded, but he couldn’t help it. “Something to look forward to this week.”

“Yeah,” Zeb agreed, smiling. Alex could get used to that smile. It wasn’t a full grin, but Zeb’s teeth showed a little, and his canines were particularly pointy, so he looked like a puppy or a cat.  

The light coming from the house increased slightly as the front door opened, Alex’s mom silhouetted in the frame. “I’d better go. She’s wondering what I’m still doing out here.” He rolled his eyes and leaned over to give Zeb an awkward, one-armed car-seat hug. Zeb squeezed him.

“Heh, oh yeah, I could totally pop a ton of bubbles that way.”

“Good night , Zeb. Thanks for the ride.” He walked up the driveway, hearing Zeb’s melodic laugh drifting behind him.

*****

The rest of the weekend was pleasantly uneventful, giving Alex plenty of time to finish up homework and study lines. He was almost off-book. He’d left his new CD in Zeb’s car, so he didn’t get to listen to that over the weekend, but it was okay because he let Zeb copy it and would get it from him on Monday morning. He’d also managed to get really good sleep, so when the school week rolled around again, he was refreshed and ready. Zeb met him at their lockers with his CD and the only piece left of Gramma’s baklava (Zeb made him swear on pain of death not to tell Sabine). Things were going well. 

He should have known.

As second period let out, a girl who sat a couple of rows behind him approached Alex. He vaguely knew her name was… Jyn? Jyn. She was pretty, brown-haired with a sort of Jennifer Aniston haircut and green eyes, a cute nose and that perfect sort of cupid’s bow mouth. She was probably pretty popular with the guys. He raised his eyebrows as she opened her mouth to speak.

“Hi, Alex. Um, do you want to go to Homecoming with me?”

*****

Sitting down at the lunch table, Zeb could tell something was off with Alex. He looked like he was completely lost in thought, and confused. That was definitely unusual for an honors student like Alex. So of course, Zeb had to ask.

“What’s wrong?”

Alex looked at Zeb but his expression didn’t clear. “Do you know Jyn?”

“I think so,” Zeb replied. “Brown hair, real cute?”

“That’s her. She asked me to Homecoming.”

That got the whole group’s attention; Sabine, Chop, and Abe all swiveled to stare at Alex, waiting to hear what came next. Zeb felt inexplicably warm and uneasy. Alex wasn’t into girls, Alex was into him , but…

“Well what did you say?” Sabine demanded.

“I… I didn’t know what to say, I was so surprised. I just kind of said I wasn’t even sure I was going to go.”

“Wait, what?” Zeb said, at the same time that Sabine squawked out a similar question, and Chop smacked his own forehead, and Abe just put his head down on the table. “You’re not going to Homecoming?”

“No, no, I was thinking I’d go if you guys are going, but that wasn’t the point,” Alex protested. “Why would she ask me?”

At this point, Chop started laughing and leaning over Abe, who just bonked his head against the table again. Sabine just shook her head, but Zeb didn’t even know how to react. What does he mean “why?” Why not?

“Alex,” Sabine began, “have you looked in a mirror lately? You’re kinda hot. Why wouldn’t she ask you out?”

“But she barely even knows me! I barely knew who she was! How would she know she’d want to go to a dance with me?”

“Uh, Earth to Alex, we barely know you,” Chop spoke up. “But we asked you to eat with us, didn’t we?”

“But that’s different.”

“Is it?” Zeb asked. “We actually socialize here. You’d actually have less chance to talk at the dance, because it’s so loud. In a way, asking you to the dance because she thinks you’re cute might make even more sense than asking you to eat with us just based on us being vaguely familiar with each other from camp.” To Zeb’s dismay, that didn’t seem to help. In fact, Alex’s frown only deepened. “Hey, don’t worry about it. We all gotta start somewhere, right? Apparently, Jyn thought she’d start with you at Homecoming. So, do you want to go with her?”

“No!” Alex looked almost offended by the suggestion. “You know I’m not… into… her.” He kind of trailed off at the end, looking around the table and clearly realizing he was speaking in front of people who didn’t know . Zeb almost laughed at the effect, like Alex was a slowly deflating Macy’s Parade balloon. And then Abe leaned over the table, towards Alex.

“We can tell you and Zeb are a thing,” he said quietly. “It’s okay.”

As Alex slowly turned red and shrunk in on himself, Zeb palmed Abe’s face and pushed him back into his seat. “Thank you for the validation, but now is not the time,” he grumbled. Turning to Alex, he swallowed his irritation and focused on reassuring him. “Anyway, don’t worry about it. We all go as a group anyway, us from the drama club. No dates required, unless you want one. It’s actually really fun, we kind of all gravitate towards one side of the room and everybody else pretty much leaves us alone. It’s like we have our own dance party.” 

“Oh,” Alex replied, still a bit wilted. “That… that does sound fun.”

“Well, gee, don’t be too excited,” Sabine teased. Zeb, meanwhile, just watched Alex. In a conversation that was supposed to make him feel better about a stranger asking him out, what could have made Alex feel worse ?

*****

All afternoon, Alex had trouble focusing on anything but what Chop and Zeb had said at lunch. “We barely know you.” He and Zeb were “vaguely familiar with each other from camp.” Suddenly nothing felt right. He’d always believed that couples knew each other first and then decided they wanted to be together. Right? How else would they realize they’re interested? How do you build a relationship with a stranger? 

By the end of the day, his mind was in a death-spiral. Finding Zeb at their lockers, he all but pounced on him.

“Hey, Zeb, are you gonna be online tonight?”

“Um, yeah, I always am. What’s up? You look… I dunno, off.”

“I’m just thinking. About some of the stuff we talked about at lunch. Can we talk tonight?”

“Of course,” Zeb insisted. “You’re really weirding me out, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” he lied, willing it to be true. “I just… I’ll talk to you tonight.” With that, he tossed his tie in his locker, scooped up his books, and hurried off.

His parents didn’t bother him about seeming detached during dinner, but that was probably because it had been a common enough mode for him to be in since all that happened at ISB. Part of him wanted to ask them what they thought about starting relationships, but most of him just was not ready to have that kind of conversation with his parents. Instead, he excused himself from the table as soon as he could and rushed back to his room to check his computer. There, Zeb was online.

fulcrum021: Hi Zeb. Sorry if you were waiting long.

greekxgodxzeb: hey no worries i just signed on a minute ago

greekxgodxzeb: so what’s up?

Alex took a deep breath. Hopefully he wouldn’t be ruining a good thing, but he just had to get a handle on this.

fulcrum021: I just was thinking about what you guys said at lunch about how little we know each other, and it just made me wonder if you and I are even right for each other. How do we know if we don’t even know much about each other? Like, do we even have anything in common? I’ve been in kind of a downward spiral about this all afternoon.

greekxgodxzeb: whoa wait

greekxgodxzeb: slow down… we’re not even really dating yet, don’t freak out on me

greekxgodxzeb: so first of all, we do know things about each other. we’ve got theater, and we know at least one band we both like, and we know that we have fun when we hang out 

fulcrum021: Is that enough to build a relationship on, though? 

greekxgodxzeb: what more do you need to start out with? we just started talking to each other a few weeks ago. thats not a lot of time to get to know someone. give me a little time, ok?

Alex knew he was prone to over-thinking, and Zeb did have a point. Reconciling that point with the fatalistic thoughts whirling around in his own head was going to be the hard part.

fulcrum021: Sorry. I just always thought people started dating because they knew enough about each other to know it’s what they wanted. Which I guess isn’t very romantic, but it’s all that ever made sense to me.

greekxgodxzeb: ok i’m not gonna say that things haave to be love at first sight or anything, but how do you get to know somebody without taking a chance on them? so heres what i know about you: you’re hot, youre not as snobby as you came across, you’re actually pretty friendly, you’ve got a sense of humor. so now that i know all that, i know that i wanna find out more. get it?

fulcrum021: I guess so. It does make more sense when you put it that way.

fulcrum021: So what do you want to know first?

greekxgodxzeb: um what

greekxgodxzeb: plz tell me we’re not doing this all in one night

fulcrum021: LoL no, but why not start? Maybe we can learn one new thing about each other every day.

greekxgodxzeb: you know you can learn a lot about someone just by being around them, too, right?

That sounded like a long, slow process to Alex. And while he didn’t necessarily want to rush things, per se, he did feel like they were a little behind where he’d like them to be in familiarity. At least, that’s what he told himself - really, his negative thoughts from earlier were still a little bit in charge.

fulcrum021: Sure, yeah, I know that. Just why not be direct? 

greekxgodxzeb: youre so weird :) ok what’s your favorite food and why?

fulcrum021: Really? :\

greekxgodxzeb: yes really come on it’s the first thing I thought of

fulcrum021: Anything from McDonald’s. We almost never go there, because my mom believes in cooking at home and eating together, and I can’t get myself there, so it’s like a rare treat. Reserved for road trips and exceptionally busy days out of the house.

fulcrum021: Man, now that I’m thinking about it, I really want a Quarter Pounder and a milkshake. This is your fault.

greekxgodxzeb: lol sorry (not) :P

fulcrum021: Alright, what about you? What’s your favorite food, and why?

greekxgodxzeb: waffles. no explanation needed, they’re just delicious.

fulcrum021: LoL Remind me to take you on a breakfast date.

When he realized what he’d typed, Alex’s mind froze up. Hadn’t he just been having an existential crisis over whether he knew this guy enough to go out with him? And now he just suggested a date? Sometimes his own brain defied Alex’s understanding.

fulcrum021: That came out wrong. Sorry.

greekxgodxzeb: sounds fine to me. 

greekxgodxzeb: look Alex what i’m trying to tell you is that going out is how you get to know a person. if youre not comfortable calling it dating yet, that’s fine, i can wait. but i DO want to go out with you, dumbass. remember the part where i said you’re hot, and we have fun together, and i like your sense of humor?

Being called a dumbass did not strike Alex as particularly effective flirtation, but the rest of it sent a flicker of warmth up his belly into his chest. Maybe he did just have to give Zeb and himself some time together to really come to know each other. For Zeb, he could certainly try.

fulcrum021: I do remember, and thank you. Sorry, I’m just neurotic. This is all really new to me still, and you’re the first person that’s ever really asked me out, so I guess I just don’t know how to handle any of it.

greekxgodxzeb: my plan is to just kinda go for it. i’m glad you talked to me about this tho. I was kinda worried with how you were acting today. glad i got a chance to talk you down from the ledge.

Alex smiled. Somehow, if anybody could calm him and help him settle his mind, it was Zeb. While he still felt like he ought to know more before giving in to his feelings, that much he did know. 

Chapter Text

Zeb was relieved to find Alex much calmer on Tuesday morning. In fact, the apologetic smile that Alex gave him only served to reinforce that, nope, he didn’t really need to know anything about this boy in order to want him. 

“Sorry about yesterday,” Alex murmured as they each packed their morning books. “Like I said, this is new to me, and I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“That’s okay,” Zeb offered. “I’m just makin’ it up as I go along.” He flashed a grin at Alex. “Call it improv.” Alex laughed, and Zeb took that opportunity to change the subject. “Enough of that. Make sure you get to homeroom on time, we’re voting on themes and colors for Spirit Week today. I dunno what our options are, but I overheard a couple of the class reps saying they hope our class color doesn’t end up being yellow.”

“O...kay… I guess I should have paid more attention to the announcements when they mentioned Spirit Week, then.”

Zeb laughed and grabbed Alex’s shoulder, shaking him a little. “Yes, you should have! I’ll see you at lunch.” 

He would’ve stuck around to talk with Alex a little while longer, but he had something to do once he got to his homeroom. Zeb had a new project. It wasn’t for school, just personal, but it was important all the same. He pulled a compacted piece of looseleaf from his pocket, unfolded it, and looked it over.

• Theater brought us together
• We both like hard rock
• We like going to Starbucks 
• There’s always Chaucer

He almost scratched out that last one, thinking maybe it was too much of a stretch. But then he remembered how much he’d laughed that night when they talked about his Chaucer homework, even before they said anything about themselves or each other. Instead, he picked up his pen and started adding more.

• You now love my Gramma’s baklava as much as I do, but you don't like getting your fingers sticky
• We have the same cell phones

That one was kind of lame, but he was really trying. There had to be more that he could name that he knew about Alex and shared in common. As he kept brainstorming, a slip of paper hit his desk. Zeb looked up to see the class rep drawing her hand back.

“Time to vote for Spirit Week themes!” she said cheerfully. Zeb grinned.

He loved Spirit Week.

Looking over the ballot, he grimaced a little. The color suggestions were mostly awful. Yellow, Pink ( Really, who has pink pants? They don’t make those for dudes ), Tie-Dye, Red, or Black.  Well, Black would be easy, and was definitely his favorite of the options. So, one vote for Black for Color Day. The themes were a little better of a mix. Pirates, Sports, Halloween, Western, or 80s. Well, 80s was a hard no. Not so keen on generic “Sports” either. The other three were alright. Alex would look really cute in a cowboy hat, but despite that mental image, Zeb was inclined to pick Halloween. Easy to dress for, easy to decorate. And if they picked Halloween as their theme and Black as their color, the Senior class would be extra coordinated. Yes. That was it. Deep down, he hoped Alex had picked the same. Zeb really wanted Alex to enjoy Spirit Week, to share his excitement. Even though he’d only be at Alliance for a year, Zeb really hoped that Alex would end up being as fond of the school as Zeb was.

Maybe he’d be able to add that to his list, someday.

*****

Alex had barely sat down at the lunch table when Zeb pounced. 

“So, what theme did you vote for? And color?”

“Wait, what?” 

“Come on, man, Spirit Week!”

Chop slid onto the bench across from them, and, picking up on the conversation, chimed in. “Zeb’s a little obsessed with Spirit Week.”

“Come on,” Zeb countered. “It’s the only time all year that we get to have fun at school. Like during the school day. What’s not to love?”

Chop just rolled his eyes, but Abe and Sabine sat down and Sabine asked what she was missing. “Zeb’s already worked up for next week,” Chop explained. 

“Halloween,” Alex said. “And Black.” Suddenly, Zeb lit up with an expression that Alex could only describe in his mind as glee . 

“Me too!” Suddenly, Zeb’s arm was around his shoulders, but Alex didn’t have time to enjoy the feeling before Zeb continued with “Great minds think alike! I knew it! Hey, wanna pair up for Twin Day?”

“They were the easiest choices to dress for,” Alex said, wishing he had a better reason. “Twin Day?”

“Yeah, Tuesday is always Twin Day, didn’t you hear the schedule on the announcements?” Sabine chimed in. “You and a friend dress alike. Some people actually do costumes, some people just wear regular clothes that match.”

Alex looked at Zeb, his grinning face close to his due to his arm still enveloping Alex’s shoulders; how could he say no to that smile? His eyes were actually twinkling . “Do, um, do you plan on doing costumes?” His brain was starting to short-circuit from proximity to Zeb’s face. “Or, or just normal clothes?” He was sure he heard a muffled snicker from either Chop or Abe, he couldn’t tell which, but then it didn’t really matter. This might have been the longest Zeb had actually touched him, and it was definitely the closest they’d been, except for when Zeb had almost beat him up that first week. This was better.

“Which would you rather?”

“Um, I don’t really have a lot of time to work on a costume, especially since I suppose I’ll need to put one together for Theme Day.”

“Okay, don’t worry,” Zeb said, leaning back (to Alex’s disappointment). “We can keep it simple. Regular clothes.”

Sabine leaned around from Zeb’s other side and tugged on Alex’s sleeve, sandwiching Zeb closer between them in the process. “Don’t sweat it too hard,” she whispered at him. “Zeb’s really gung-ho, but it doesn’t have to be complicated.” Alex shot her a grateful look.

“Hey,” Zeb interjected, craning his neck around to each side in turn, trying to catch their conversation. “What are you saying about me literally behind my back?”

“Nothing bad, chill out,” Sabine said, sitting forward again and smacking Zeb’s arm. “You’re not the only one allowed to talk to Alex, you know. Stop hogging him.” 

“Yeah, stop hogging Alex,” Chop parroted, while Abe smirked and Zeb and Alex gave each other somewhat guilty looks. 

To defuse any further teasing, Alex leaned in front of Zeb to address Sabine. “Well, do you want to help me figure out what to wear?”

“Hey!” Zeb looked indignant. “No fraternizing with the enemy!” Alex gave him what he hoped was a withering look. It didn’t deter Zeb at all, as he continued with “She’s a junior. Ask me! I’m supposed to be the one to help you!”

“It’s a competition between the classes,” Sabine explained. “So as much as I hate to admit it, Zeb’s right. It would be contrary to my own interests to help you,” she concluded with a mockingly lofty air.

Alex sighed, realizing he really should have paid more attention to the announcements about Spirit Week. “Alright, Zeb, I do want your help. Excuse me for trying to be inclusive. So, is this going to require letting you rummage through my closet?”

“Not require , necessarily, but yeah that might make it easier. Is that an invitation?” Zeb wiggled his eyebrows mock-suggestively, finally getting a laugh out of Alex. 

“Oooh, you’re gonna bring Zeb to your bedroom ,” Chop crooned at them. “Don’t do any--” a high-pitched squeal cut him off and brought everyone’s attention to the front of the cafeteria, where a girl stood with a microphone at the edge of the stage. Abe started muttering something about goddamn idiots and his poor, abused sound equipment, while the girl began to speak.

“The votes for class themes and colors have been counted,” she said. So I guess she’s student council president or something? Alex thought. “Juniors and Seniors, here are your results! The Junior class theme is… Pirates! And your color is Purple!” Some cheers went up, a few disappointed faces looked around, and Sabine smiled and high-fived Chop and Abe. “Seniors, your theme for this year will be Halloween, and your color is perfect -- it’s Black!”

Alex felt Zeb’s arm land on his shoulders again, and this time he also felt himself crushed against the other boy’s side as he whooped in excitement. For his part, Alex was too busy memorizing the feeling of Zeb to do any cheering of his own.

*****

The pre-rehearsal walk to Starbucks was dominated once again by talk of Spirit Week, but this time everybody was excited. Sabine noticed that Alex had even gotten a little more into it, though her attention was more on her little brother. Tristan was bemoaning the Freshman class color: Pink. 

“I mean, come on!” he wailed. “Who has pink everything?”

“Don’t worry about it, Tristan. Give me your old gym shoes and a pair of khakis and I’ll dye them for you this weekend,” Sabine said.

“Wait,” Alex cut in. “I thought you couldn’t help other classes.”

“Family trumps class loyalty,” she replied simply. “Besides, there’s no way the Freshmen are going to win anyway.” Sabine winked at Alex conspiratorially.

“We almost won last year,” Ezra said. 

“That’s only because Leia was your class president and had you all so organized,” Sabine argued. “But let’s be realistic, the Seniors always win.” She knew she was baiting Zeb with this, and wasn’t disappointed when he rose to it.

“At least this year we’ll really deserve it!” he insisted. “We’ve got the best theme, and we’re the most spirited class. We always have been!”

With Zeb off to the races, ranting about all his class had done for the school over the last three years, Sabine smirked and enjoyed not having to say anything for the rest of the walk.

Once they were back at the school, with a little time before rehearsal yet, Sabine pulled Alex aside.

“Hey, I’ve got most of your costume put together, want to try it on? I gotta start getting fittings done.”

“Sure.”

She led him backstage to a small room in the wings - a glorified walk-in closet, really. But it was her little domain when she was working on costumes, and in the cramped jumble of fabrics and clothes, she knew where everything was. In this case, that meant the hangars with Alex’s costume on them, which she handed him and said “It’s pretty basic, still. We’re going sort-of medieval, sort-of grunge. I guess. Anyway, I can step out if you want some priv--” she glanced at Alex and saw that he already had his shirt off and was working on his fly. “Or… not.”

“Oh, please,” he said. “You know we actors have no modesty.” With a small smile, he added “And I know you know I’m off-limits.”

Sabine laughed fondly. “It’s true, I’d never do anything to hurt Zeb. And I get the feeling you wouldn’t, either. Not on purpose. Which is good, because I’d hate to have to kill you.”

She saw that her joke hit home, because Alex’s fingers fumbled for a split second in tying the drawstring of his costume pants. She couldn’t help but feel a little bit triumphant when Alex let out a slightly nervous laugh. “I’d… hate for you to kill me, too. Really,” he said, grabbing the tunic she held out for him. As he pulled it over his head, he changed the subject. “I actually want to say thanks for including me on Saturday. I haven’t had real friends to do stuff with in a long time. ISB is kind of cutthroat. It’s nice to feel like I don’t have to be… strategic, with everything I say.”

That took Sabine a little by surprise. “Strategic? You make it sound like politics.”

“Well, it was a bit like politics, yeah. Is this how this is supposed to look?”

“More or less,” she replied. “We still need a belt, and boots, and a tartan for you. I’m still deciding which house is getting which tartan. But yeah, we’re keeping it pretty simple. How’s it feel? Does it fit okay?”

Alex moved around a bit, testing the garments. “Yes, feels good. Are you making everything yourself?”

“Well, some things I’m able to dig up pre-made, but the rest of it, yeah. I’m a one-woman-workshop.”

“Impressive! Well, thank you. Anyway, yeah, I’m still getting used to the idea that I can be myself around here, so thanks for putting up with me.” 

Sabine just held her hands out for the costume pieces as he shucked them off. Is that really how he sees it? Just “putting up with” him? Oh, honey. “You’re a nice guy, Alex. I think you just need to relax and forget about trying to impress everybody. You know, Tristan told me he’s really impressed with your acting, but that you don’t really reach out to the rest of the cast much. Try and open up, you might be surprised at the response you get.”

Alex seemed to be considering that advice as he buckled his belt. “Well, I’ll try. It’s been hard to break old habits; so far it seems like Zeb is the only one I can really open up to. But thanks, Sabine. I… thanks. Um, anything else you need me for?”

“No, that’s all. Just, send Wedge up here if you see him before you all get started?” He nodded and was gone. Sabine considered his comments; for all that Zeb had made him out to be arrogant and full of himself, Alex really did have a soft marshmallowy center, didn’t he? And while she had initially interpreted his tendency towards being quiet as shyness or feeling out of place, what he’d said about ISB suggested that it was more of a self-protective shell. Suddenly, Sabine was fiercely glad Alex had transferred to Alliance, and now it was not just because he made Zeb happy.

*****

Zeb looked up to where Alex and Ketsu were going through the pre-murder scene and allowed himself to enjoy it for a moment. Now that the blocking was pretty much set, he was supposed to be taking notes alongside Ezra of where props and set pieces needed to be for each scene. It was kind of nice, because it gave him a chance to see the performances as they came together. This was his favorite part of doing a show - not the performance, which tended to be here and gone in a flash, but the preparation. The planning and the working and the trial-and-error. Zeb knew he could never be an actor, could never come out from behind-the-scenes where his talents served best - “strong back, weak mind,” Ezra often teased him - and could really never deal with having a whole other person taking up residence in his mind like actors do when working on a character. To be honest, he’d always thought actors were a little crazy. They had to be, to want that much attention on them and to be able to just turn into someone else for a little while. 

Then Alex came along.

They’d talked a bit about acting. Alex explained how he enjoyed getting a break from his own baggage, and that was something Zeb could understand. And as he watched Alex work with Ketsu, he could see that Alex was really made to be up there. He was so convincing. His face even changed to something sterner, more hungry, when he was Macbeth. And that Summer, at camp, he’d been a completely different person in that performance, as well. 

Suddenly, Zeb understood a bit better what Alex had told him about getting by at ISB Prep. How, in a place where everybody was only looking for a leg up and an early career start, Alex had fit in even though that wasn’t his thing. He really could be whatever he needed to be for any given situation, and Zeb thought that was an interesting and useful skill to have. But the real Alex he saw when they got to be alone was his favorite.

*****

“Zeb,” Kanan repeated. He saw Ezra elbow Zeb that time, and the kid finally snapped out of whatever reverie he was in. 

“Huh? Yes? Sorry, what’d I miss?” 

Kanan shook his head. It was unlike Zeb to be this spacey. “Zeb, I need you to note that a pair of goblets needs to be right there at stage right.”

“Got it.”

Kanan watched him scribble in the margin of his script. Zeb had always been attentive and eager at rehearsals. Now that this new Alex kid was here, it seemed to have thrown him off his game. He was still a good worker, but he was so easily distracted. If Kanan was honest with himself, it reminded him of how he acted when he first knew Hera. Well, he thought, I hope Zeb can get a handle on this infatuation.  

He looked up at the stage when Hera stopped the actors to give a note, and caught the way that Alex’s eyes slid toward Zeb when Hera finished speaking, before slipping back into character. The tiny smile that crossed Alex’s face made Kanan chuckle inwardly. At least it looks like Zeb won’t have to work as hard as I had to. He returned his focus to the rehearsal, laying an arm across the back of Hera’s chair without even realizing he did it.

Chapter Text

After the way he was all day Tuesday, Alex supposed he should have expected Zeb to ambush him first thing in the morning with a wave of Spirit Week planning enthusiasm; however, he did not. So when Zeb approached while he dug around in his locker, and blurted out a question about whether Alex had planned his outfits for next week, Alex nearly jumped out of his skin. 

"Zeb! No, I didn’t have time last night! I had homework to do after rehearsal, remember?”

“Oh, right,” Zeb replied, deflated. “Sorry.” The look of contrition and hurt on Zeb’s face did melt Alex a little. 

“Besides, I thought you wanted to help,” he offered, hoping to soothe Zeb. It worked. He was rewarded with one of Zeb’s brilliant smiles.

“True, I’m good at this stuff. Hey, are we still on for going to the mall on Friday? We could get whatever you need to buy then.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I should probably look through what I already have first, though.”

“Fair enough. Does that mean you wanna reschedule, or…?” Zeb trailed off, obviously waiting for an answer or suggestion.

“No, lemme see what I can dig out tonight. By the way, what’s Monday’s thing?”

“Pyjama day.”

Alex froze. “Pyjama day? Really?” He lowered his voice, leaning in closer to Zeb. “I don’t have pyjamas! I don’t wear them!”

Zeb raised his eyebrows, but laughed. “Good thing we’re going shopping, then, huh?” 

The rest of the day was fairly normal, though he was finally thinking about Spirit Week, as Zeb had clearly hoped he would. By the end of the day, when Zeb headed off to the weight room with a reminder to look for anything he had to wear for next week, Alex had at least somewhat of a plan. Well, a plan for how to plan, anyway. 

“How was your day, honey?” Alex’s mom asked the same question every day as he got in the car.

“Good,” he replied. “Hey, I have a question. Remember that Zeb and I want to go to the mall after school on Friday? Is it alright if he comes over before we go?”

His mom’s brow furrowed in confusion, though her eyes stayed on the road. “I suppose that’s alright, but what for?”

“I need his help figuring out what to wear for Spirit Week next week.”

“It’s that difficult that you need help?” she asked skeptically.

“We’ve paired up for Twin Day, so we’ve got to see if we have any of the same stuff.” Alex knew that was a stupid excuse, so before his mother could point that out, he sighed and came clean. “Zeb’s really into Spirit Week, and he wants me to be psyched about it, too, so I thought it’d be fun if we could work on it together.”

“Well then alright,” she said. Then, she added “You’re getting close with this boy very quickly, he must be really special.”

“Mooommm,” Alex admonished. 

“I’m just observing. You normally don’t make friends so quickly, or so easily.”

“Well. No. I normally don’t.” Alex sighed again and gave up on playing it cool - it never worked on his mother anyway. “But I really like Zeb.”

“I know, honey.” Of course. She always knew. “Do you know if he ‘likes’ you too?”

Alex couldn’t help but smile as he answered. “Yeah. Yeah, he does.” 

“Then I hope you have fun working on Spirit Week together.” Alex could tell from her tone that she was being sincere, but was also concerned. That was fair. 

*****

When Zeb arrived at school and approached his locker, Alex was leaning against his own locker, waiting for him. Zeb couldn’t help but smile. 

“Did you--”

“Sh,” Alex cut him off. “Zeb. Wanna come over to my house before we go to the mall tomorrow?”

Zeb’s mind screeched to a halt and he just blinked at Alex while it rebooted. Alex looked rather pleased with himself, probably because he’d finally caught Zeb off guard instead of the other way around. 

“What? Yeah! Yeah, that’d be great!”

“Good, we can go through my closet and decide what I can use and what I still need for next week,” Alex explained. 

“So did you pull anything last night?” 

“No, I figured I’d let you help, since you’re the expert. And it’ll be more fun if we work on it together.”

Zeb had been fully prepared to be disappointed in Alex for not getting into it, but when he put it that way… “Yeah,” he agreed. “Yeah that’ll be really fun. Alright, I’m psyched!”

Once in homeroom, Zeb pulled out his list again. On the next available line, he wrote “you get how much I love Spirit Week.” He hadn’t really realized how much he’d wanted that until Alex showed it. Zeb folded the paper back up and slid it in his pocket as announcements started.

*****

Alex missed the pre-rehearsal Starbucks run; he had a question about an assignment for his Shakespeare class, and had to go talk with Mr. Organa about it after school. And once that was cleared up, they started talking about the Macbeth production, and he found out that Mr. Organa’s daughter was their Lady Macduff (he really should pay more attention to his castmates’ last names), and by the time they were done chatting, it was almost time for rehearsal to start. He politely excused himself and headed out.

As Alex stepped into the next hallway, he was nearly run over. Ezra went careening past him, missing him by an inch, holding a paper and cackling as he ran. Close behind, there went Zeb, yelling something about “I will end you” and “give it back!” Already he could hear Chop laughing as he and Abe - inseparable as always - came walking down the hall in their wake. 

“Um, do I want to know what that’s about?”

Chop snortled and replied “No, you probably don’t.” He laughed again and walked on, Abe shaking his head and trailing behind.

By the time Alex made it to the cafeteria, Ezra was lying on his back on the floor trying to catch his breath, and Zeb was standing over him with his hands on his knees, also panting and holding a paper crushed in one hand.

“What did I miss?” Alex asked, approaching Zeb but looking down at the sprawled-out heap of Ezra. Zeb suddenly snapped fully upright and shoved the hand with the paper into his pocket. “Did you just break our stage manager?”

“No,” Zeb grunted out. “But I should!” 

Ezra reached one arm straight up in the air, pointer finger extended. “I disagree!”

Chop squatted down next to Ezra’s head and flicked his nose. “No, I think Zeb’s right. Brat.” Chop then grabbed Ezra’s hand and pulled him up to his feet as he stood.

“Is anyone going to clue me in?” Alex interjected. The others all looked at Zeb with varying looks of amusement, prompting, and concern.

“No,” Zeb finally said, emphatically but with a slightly panicked look. “Come on, Ez, you said you’d fill me in on what you and Mr. Jarrus came up with yesterday.” Ezra glanced at Alex and shrugged as Zeb led him away to the directors’ table, leaving Alex dumbstruck.

*****

Once again, Ezra had nearly ruined something for Zeb, and once again, it involved Alex. Mr. Jarrus obviously noticed how annoyed he was with Ezra, but didn’t say anything about it. Which was good, because he really wasn’t in the mood for a stern Mr. Jarrus lecture. And if he really thought about it, Zeb was irritated with himself, too. How could he be so stupid as to work on his list in the library, where Ezra could find him? And then he was rude to Alex, who was so skittish to begin with. He took the tiniest reasons to freak out or shut down, and Zeb was not about to risk that right now when things were going well.

When Alex finally had a few minutes when he wasn’t onstage, Zeb made his way over to him. “Hey, Alex, sorry man.” Alex turned to him with a curious look. “I didn’t mean to shut you down earlier. It’s just…” Zeb hadn’t really planned out what to say. “It was a thing I didn’t really wanna talk about. Not yet.”

“Okay,” Alex nodded slowly. “It’s cool. I was being nosy.”

Zeb was slightly taken aback by how chill Alex seemed. “Oh, um, okay. Thanks.”

“I’m almost back on, gotta go.”

“Right, cool.”

That had been entirely too easy to smooth over. Maybe Alex was rubbing off on Zeb, making him more prone to panic, too. That, however, was not going on the list.

*****

Friday, as with all days with something fun planned at the end, crawled by at a snail’s pace. By fourth period, Alex was so antsy that he couldn’t stop bouncing his leg, something which he very rarely did. When the dismissal bell finally rang, he practically teleported to his locker, and by the time Zeb reached their lockers, he was ready to go. Zeb took one look at how eager he must have looked, and laughed. 

“I’ll be quick,” he promised, digging through his locker and swapping out books and pulling out his gym bag. “It cool if I change clothes at your house?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Ready?”

Zeb swung his locker door shut and smiled. “Ready.”

The ride to Alex’s house was taken up with brainstorming what kind of costumes would be best for communicating the idea of Halloween. Alex was sure there would be an overabundance of Ghostface masks, and Zeb added that he shouldn’t forget the classic hockey mask or Mike Meyers mask. In any case, neither of them would be wearing any of those, because there would be too many of them already. The conversation kept Alex’s mind off of his anxiety over having Zeb at his house, where his mother would undoubtedly hover, make herself a nuisance, and make things awkward. 

It turned out that Alex didn’t have to worry anyway. After greeting the boys and pointedly reminding Alex to at least offer his guest something to drink, she made herself scarce, claiming to have work to do in the garden. Alex didn’t really care if Zeb heard his sigh of relief as they headed to his room.

“It’s so… clean,” marvelled Zeb as they walked in.

“Um, thanks? I like to keep it neat. Can’t find stuff when it’s messy.” Alex was suddenly self-conscious about the last thing he expected to be self-conscious about. Great. Quickly deflecting, he opened his closet. “Here’s what I’ve got. See anything familiar?” He counted the short laugh from Zeb as a win.

Zeb started rifling through the hangars, and Alex found himself feeling like he was being thoroughly judged. It didn’t seem like Zeb was sneering at anything he found, though, so that was a good sign. He stopped at a blue checked short-sleeved button-down shirt, tilting his head.

“What?” Alex asked.

“I think I have this same shirt,” Zeb answered him, pulling it out of the closet to get a better look. “Yeah, it’s the same one. Whoa!”

“Really? No way, that’s crazy. I guess that’s our easy answer for Twin Day.”

“Hell yeah it is,” Zeb said, replacing the shirt. “You got a pair of jeans besides the ones you wear to set builds?” When Alex gave him a disparaging look and nodded, pulling the jeans in question out of the closet, Zeb went on. “How about a white t-shirt?” 

“Who doesn’t have a white t-shirt?” Alex went to his dresser and pulled a perfectly-folded, pristine white shirt from a drawer. By then, Zeb was examining the shoes on the floor of the closet. 

“You’ve got a pair of Docs?” Zeb sounded surprised.

“Yeah. Gotta have a decent pair of boots, right?”

“Well, yeah. Yours are in better shape than mine, but we can wear those too.” Zeb looked Alex in the eyes, grinned, and added “We’re finding out so many things that we have in common.” As Alex considered whether Zeb was intentionally hearkening back to their conversation from earlier in the week, Zeb went back to digging through his closet. “Let’s see what you can make a costume out of in here… Whoa.”

“What?” Alex couldn’t think of what he had that would be so arresting.

“You have your own tux ?” Zeb pulled the hangar out as he said it.

“Oh, right. Yeah, we needed them for our choir at ISB. It was getting stupid to keep renting one, and there was a sale, and I’m probably not going to get much taller, so it made sense at the time to just buy--”

“Dude!” Zeb cut him off. “You could totally do Dracula!”

Alex blinked. “I guess I could,” he mused. “I hadn’t even thought of it. That’s actually a really good idea!”

With that in mind, they started discussing their mental shopping list. He’d need fangs, of course. And there was still the issue of pyjama day (though when Alex commented that he couldn’t show up to school in his underwear, Zeb certainly took a moment before agreeing), and anything that Zeb needed. Satisfied that they knew what they were looking for, Alex showed Zeb to the guest room to get changed, and quickly changed his own clothes. Now that he knew Zeb was also a fan, he made sure to wear his Doc Martens.

*****

Zeb was so psyched that Alex was finally getting pumped up for Spirit Week, too. He steered them through the mall to the Halloween store that somehow always manages to pop up in any conveniently vacant storefront in every mall every year. “So, you need some fangs, Count,” he said to Alex. “I think they’re over this way.” Alex snorted at being called “Count,” but he followed to the small assortment of fangs.

“These look actually pretty good,” he observed, pulling a set off the rack. Zeb looked over his shoulder, seeing a set that stick on and looked fairly realistic for plastic teeth. “I wonder what it’ll be like having them stuck to my teeth all day, though.” 

“I bet you could take them off at lunch and re-stick them after.” As Zeb offered his helpful idea, he noticed a different set of teeth on the rack - werewolf fangs. They’d be perfect for his wolfman idea. As he reached around Alex to grab a pack, he accidentally bumped up against Alex’s back; but before he could shift away, he felt Alex lean into the contact for a split-second. Zeb experimentally followed that up with a hand on Alex’s shoulder - easy enough to explain away by claiming to be steadying himself - as he straightened up and showed off what he’d found. “Wolfman teeth, perfect, huh?”

Not shying away from or brushing off Zeb’s hand, Alex considered the packet in front of his face. “Wolfman, huh? Dracula and the Wolfman, we’ll coordinate without matching. Clever. I like it.”

“Yeah, well, I do occasionally have good ideas,” Zeb said with mock humility. “I’m not just a meathead.”

“I know.” When Zeb looked down at him, Alex was smiling softly. Then, as though realizing they were in public, Alex cleared his throat and stepped away, reaching for something else. “Should I get one of these makeup kits? Or would that be too much?”

Zeb looked at the pack of white, black, and red in Alex’s hand and tried to visualize it on Alex’s face. “Sure, go for it,” he said with a shrug. “Do you know what you’re doing with that stuff?” That question earned him an eyeroll. 

“I’m an amateur actor, Zeb. Of course I know how to use makeup.” He paused. “Well, I know enough to handle this, anyway.”

###

Zeb laughed and just asked for help finding more werewolf stuff. In just a few minutes, they had all they needed. Alex had checked out first, and was waiting for Zeb nearby while he paid for his things. Zeb was just handing over his cash when, off to the side, he heard a snide voice say “Well, if it isn’t the fairy prince.”

*****

Alex wasn’t sure whether Kass said anything further, because as soon as he heard the voice and saw him standing there, he was stuck in blind panic. Suddenly, he was back at ISB, being crowded against a wall, and his vision was tunneling. He somehow noticed that his breath was coming in gasps. It might have been an hour or it might have been half a second, but he then felt a presence beside him, and though his neck felt like it had turned to solid rock, his eyes flicked to the side and followed Zeb’s form as his friend came to stand just one step ahead of him at his side. 

“Is there a problem?” Zeb rumbled, standing straight with his head high. He almost seemed to inflate as he squared his shoulders and pushed up the sleeves of his henley.

Kass, who was shorter and lighter than Zeb to begin with, seemed to shrink - or perhaps that was just a trick of perspective as he stepped back. “No problem,” he said, shooting a glare at Alex before turning and walking away. 

Suddenly it was Zeb in front of him, face to face, hands on his shoulders. Asking if he was alright. Saying his name again and again, as though trying to get his attention. Alex nodded jerkily in acknowledgment, still gathering himself. One hand left his shoulder and there was the plastic rustle of a bag, and then Zeb was steering him out of the store. Alex let him guide the way, turning and walking all the way to the end of one of the corridors that led to the restrooms. When Zeb tried to prop him up against the wall, he found his ability to move independently again, arms coming up to push Zeb away so he could get away from the wall.

“N-n-n-no,” he forced out. “D-don’t crowd mmmme.” Alex was suddenly and overwhelmingly annoyed with the fact that he was shaken enough to stutter. “Shit! N-n-not n-n-n-now, god-d-d-dammit.” He tried to take a steadying breath, but found his lungs just wouldn’t move smoothly. If he could just cry, he’d get back to normal, but he was too tense to cry. Instead he looked up at Zeb and tried again to steady his breathing.

Zeb was standing there watching him, hands out as though ready to catch him or grab his shoulders again. The look on his face was one of complete overwhelm, and the thought that Zeb was out of his depth gave Alex a tiny bit of stability. He was scaring Zeb, his mind told him, and he needed to stop. One more deep breath came in more smoothly this time.

“I’ll - I’ll be ok-k-kay,” he stammered. He reached out to Zeb and landed a hand on his arm. The stability was a comfort. “It’ssss just… that was… that was…”

“The asshole that beat you up?” Zeb supplied.

“Yeah. Th-th-the leader. K-kassius Konstantine.” Alex felt manic laughter starting to bubble up in his chest. “What a p-p-p-pretentious n-name, right? Ha, ha ha ha…” He couldn’t keep from laughing, even though he knew he must seem like a lunatic. He was shuddering, too, now - that was actually a good thing, because it meant the energy of his panic response was working its way out. Already he was starting to breathe more easily as the laughter started to subside. 

“Let’s just…” Zeb pried the plastic shopping bag out of the fist Alex didn’t even realize he’d had clenched, and put both of their bags on the floor. “Can I..? Here.” Zeb tentatively wrapped an arm around Alex, and let out a surprised and somewhat uncomfortable huff when Alex clamped both arms around him immediately. “It’s alright. I figured that had to be who it was. Really wish I’d’ve gotten to kick his ass.”

Alex drew in a deep breath, shudders coming more slowly now. “I’m glad you didn’t,” he said against Zeb’s shoulder. “D-d-don’t want you getting in trouble for me.”

“Thanks.” Alex felt the vibrations in Zeb’s throat against the side of his head, and it was somehow soothing. “He deserves it, though. Homophobic piece of shit.”

“But he’s a sssoccer star,” Alex muttered, heavy with sarcasm. “That means he’s inf-f-fallible.” He shuddered again, and Zeb tightened his arms around him. “Thank you,” Alex said sincerely. “I don’t know what I would’ve d-d-done if you hadn’t been there.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m glad I could help. Sorry I couldn’t do more.”

“Considering you’re still here and not writing me off as a basket case, I’d s-s-sss-” a particularly hard shudder stopped him, but Zeb waited patiently for him to finish his thought. “I’d say you’re doing a lot more than you realize.” 

“Maybe I just think all actors are basket cases,” Zeb said lightly. Alex laughed for a second. That felt good. He could really tell he was calming down now, the tension was leaving and his heart wasn’t racing anymore. “But really, though, I thought I’d made it clear I want to be there for you.” Zeb leaned back and was trying to look Alex in the face. Alex met his eyes and saw genuine concern there. 

“Thanks, Zeb.” Alex released his hold on Zeb to rub his own face with both hands. “Ohhh god my shoulders hurt. Ugh, that always happens.”

“You feeling okay otherwise, though?”

Alex did a quick assessment of how he felt. Certainly not normal, but better, he would say. “Yeah. Yeah I think so.”

“How about we get out of here and get you something to eat, then?” Zeb suggested. “Just forget the rest of the list for tonight, we’ve got the rest of the weekend to figure out the rest of the stuff.”

“Sure,” Alex agreed. Once he thought about it, he wasn’t too keen on staying at the mall and potentially running into Kass again, even with Zeb there to support him. So, picking up their bags, they made their way to the McDonald’s across the street, where Zeb ordered an absurd amount of food, and Alex just ordered a milkshake. Zeb wouldn’t let him pay for it.

###

*****

“So,” Zeb said around a mouthful of fries, “don’t worry about the pyjamas, I can loan you some pyjama pants, no problem. And I’ve got plenty of Alliance tshirts, so you can borrow one for Orange and White Day on Friday. So you should be covered for the whole week now!” 

Alex put his milkshake down but kept his eyes on the straw. Zeb could tell he was still shaken, but he had at least been calm since they left the mall. He thought about the neatly folded piece of paper in his wallet, and realized with disappointment that there would be no good moment tonight to present it. He couldn’t pile on when Alex was already dealing with something so heavy. 

“Thanks, Zeb.”

Alex had said it so quietly that Zeb would have missed it if he hadn’t been watching Alex’s face and seen his mouth move. “No problem, I’m happy to help,” he replied. “I keep telling you that.”

“Not just about the Spirit Week stuff,” Alex went on, still not looking up at Zeb. “All of it. Everything. Nobody’s ever treated me like this. You m-- it means a lot to me.”

Zeb leaned down to try and get to the level Alex was staring at, and waved his hand in front of his face. “Yo-o-o, Alex, I like you, remember? I don’t know how people have treated you before, but it sure as hell sounds like you deserve a lot better. I’m just trying my best.” And hoping it’s good enough , he thought. Finally, Alex looked up at him, and Zeb could see that he’d been trying to hide the tears in his eyes. 

“You are the best, Zeb.”

Chapter Text

“I’m just sayin’, when I was in the Army, that wouldn’t fly.”

“Rexter, you were in the Army years ago,” Ahsoka pointed out. “A lot has changed.”

Kanan shook his head. “And this isn’t the army, it’s a school. Discipline’s a lot different when you’re dealing with kids.” Out of the corner of his eye, Kanan saw someone walk in. He looked up to see Alex, shuffling through the door with his backpack and a very large travel cup with three teabag strings dangling from under the lid. “Morning, Alex! How’re you doing?”

“Hi, Mr. Jarrus. I’m okay,” Alex called back. But as he approached, Kanan could see that he looked less than okay. There were dark shadows under his eyes, and he seemed to be nursing that huge mug of tea like an addict.

“You sure you’re okay? You look like you’re kind of dragging.”

“Oh, um, I just… didn’t really get any sleep last night.” Alex seemed hesitant, so Kanan decided not to press. He’d just trust that the kid was being honest; he was a stand-up sort of kid anyway, audition-day fight notwithstanding.

“Well, maybe we’ll keep you on light duty today,” he offered. Turning to his colleagues, he asked “Ahsoka, you’re pulling out paint today, right?” When she nodded, Kanan turned back to Alex. “You can help Ms. Tano, then.” The kid seemed amenable to that, and he went to find a corner to stash his backpack.

“How’s he settling in?” Ahsoka asked. 

“Seems to be doing okay,” Kanan replied. “Still has trouble reaching out to some of the others, but he and Zeb have really taken to each other, so by extension of course he’s friendly with Sabine and Ketsu as well. Seems to get along with Chop, Abe, and Ezra okay. The other actors seem a little intimidated by him, but I’ve overheard them talking about how good he is, so I don’t think they dislike him.”

“He keeps to himself in class,” Rex contributed. “Real good student, but not very social. But he seems to be doing okay. Often looks pretty tired, though.”

As they discussed their observations of the transfer student, Kanan watched as Zeb and Sabine arrived at the same time, and Zeb beelined for Alex. As the two boys began to talk with each other, he saw Alex glance sideways at the trio of adults before Zeb put a hand on Alex’s shoulder and leaned down to make eye contact with him. Kanan was only mildly surprised when Zeb openly and unhesitatingly pulled Alex into a tight hug. If things are going that well between them, then maybe Zeb will be settled enough to pay attention to his work at rehearsals , Kanan mused.

*****

Alex would’ve preferred to be working with Zeb, but working with Ms. Tano wasn’t so bad. He might be able to satisfy his curiosity about this adult volunteer who was seemingly otherwise unconnected to the school. First, though, he had to try and pay attention to what colors they were looking for.

“Ok, look for greys and earth tones that we can use for stone, and then we also need a good red, a dark blue, and a little gold metallic,” Ms. Tano told him as she opened the metal cabinet in front of them. “Oh, good, we’ve still got a lot of that black primer from last year. We’ll need that too, so I’ll just set that aside here…” She trailed off, pulling out the paint can in question. 

Alex just looked at the disorganized jumble of paint cans and spray cans and paint trays and rollers and brushes in the cabinet and felt immediately overwhelmed. “Where do we start?” he breathed. Ms. Tano just laughed.

“I’m not sure this cabinet has been organized since I was a student,” she said. “I guess Re -- Mr. Rex hasn’t come looking for anything or else it would be in perfect order.” She rested a hand on her hip, and continued “I guess we could organize it as we go along. Probably have to pull everything out anyway.”

Alex shrugged and started pulling out cans. “So you went to school here?”

“Yup! Class of ‘90.” At Alex’s surprised look, she laughed. “I’m older than I look.”

“Have you been volunteering with the drama club all that time?” 

“No, I went away to college, and drifted away from theater. But when Mr. Rex started teaching here and asked if I wanted to help with sets, I came back. He and I go way back, he was my big brother’s best friend.” Alex saw a look cross her face that was a little too familiar and a little too close to home for him to pursue. 

“I’m in his U.S. History class,” he said, changing the subject. “He’s a pretty cool teacher.” Ms. Tano smiled, and they went on chatting about Mr. Rex and classes as they worked.

*****

“So, how’d it go? Did you ask him?”

Zeb looked over his shoulder from where he crouched, measuring stair treads. Sabine was smoothing paper mache a few feet away, but had paused, hands dripping with watered down glue.

“We ran into a problem, so it wasn’t a good time to ask,” Zeb grumbled, turning back to the lumber. “Might get a chance today.”

Sabine sounded worried when she replied “What kind of problem? Are you guys still okay?”

“We’re fine,” he said, turning again. “It was an I almost had to knock somebody out problem. It’s not really my story to tell why, it’s just… Alex was pretty shaken up. I couldn’t ask him to Homecoming after that.”

Sabine nodded as sagely as a teenager with purple hair can. “I won’t pry. But I hope you do get the chance to ask. I can’t imagine he’ll say no.” 

Zeb didn’t really want to talk about it, especially after seeing that Alex hadn’t slept at all. He was still replaying the whole thing in his head, trying to figure out if there had been something more he could have done. To get Sabine off the topic, he smirked and asked “Has Ezra asked you yet?”

The scowl she gave him was priceless. “What do you think?” She shot back. “Only three times! He won’t give up!”

“Who won’t give what up?” Ezra approached with the t-square he and Zeb had been looking for earlier, and Zeb just cracked up, took the t-square, and went back to measuring.

*****

Zeb had stuck around for rehearsal, for which Alex was grateful. He found that just knowing Zeb was there had a steadying effect. Working on the scene from Act V when Macduff and the loyalists are closing in on Dunsinane was proving a little overwhelming in his current state, and it must have been obvious, because Ms. Syndulla pulled him aside when they wrapped up for the day.

“Alex, are you alright?” The concern in her eyes seemed genuine, though  he wasn’t so sure he wanted to discuss it with her. “You seemed a little off today. Is something going on?”

He almost lied and said he was fine. “I don’t really want to talk about it,” he said instead. “I just had a rough night.” Realizing that she probably was trying to check on his safety at home, he added, “Just personal stuff.”

She gave him a soft but skeptical look. “Well, if you need to talk to an adult, you can come to me. Or Mr. Jarrus, if you’d be more comfortable. Make sure you get some rest this weekend, okay?”

He nodded and she left him alone. Looking around, he spotted Zeb, who said goodbye to Sabine and waved him over. Alex felt some of the tension leave his shoulders as he crossed the room, only to feel it return when he saw the serious look on Zeb’s face.

“Hey,” Zeb said, sounding a little shaky. “Um, there’s something I wanted to ask you, but it’s kind of… private. But I didn’t want to do it over IM, so, uh, do you mind taking a walk with me?”

Well that’s not anxiety-inducing or anything , Alex thought. “Sure, yeah, I’ve got some time before my mom gets here.”

Zeb looked like he’d forgotten that Alex didn’t have his own transportation on his own schedule, his eyes widening for a split-second before he regained his composure. “Okay. Okay, we won’t be long. It’s right on campus anyway.” Shouldering his backpack, Zeb turned to go and looked back to be sure Alex was following him. Grabbing his own backpack and suppressing a nervous sigh, Alex did.

He followed Zeb down the breezeway that ran the length of the school building and out through the door on the end. Turning, they ended up in the small garden that occupied the space next to the library. Through the long wall of windows into the library, they saw Mr. Jarrus shelving books, and Zeb muttered “Doesn’t he ever go home?” and tugged Alex by the arm to the far side of the garden, where they sat down on a bench under a tree.

“Now, um, I don’t want to pressure you, so whatever you say to this is okay,” Zeb started, pulling a folder out of his backpack. “But just, let me get all the way through before you answer, okay?”

Alex nodded, but added “You’re getting out a paper and saying there’s no pressure. Of course I’m feeling pressure.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Zeb hurried to say. “I just… I’ve been wanting to ask this but I also want you to be okay, so it’s sort of hard to balance, and I just don’t wanna fuck it up.” He ran his hand through his short dark hair, lifted the paper, and took a deep breath. “Here goes. So, I uh, I wanted to tell you that I’ve been paying a lot of attention to just how much we have in common and how well we go together.” He paused. “Oh shit. That’s that stupid song from Grease . Fuck it, anyway…” Alex had to bring his focus back from immediately tapping his foot to the beat of said song. “I know you were worried before about how little we know about each other, but I think that we’ve been learning a lot and have a lot to connect us. So I started making a list, and I want you to hear how much we already share. Obviously there’s theater. That’s how we met. And then we even have the same phones, which is really random, I know. We like going to Starbucks, we have the same taste in music, and you love my Gramma’s baklava as much as I do, even though you hate getting your fingers sticky.” Alex huffed a little fond laugh. “We voted for the same Spirit Week options, and we make the perfect twins because we wear the same kind of clothes. And even though it’s not really your thing, you understand me and my love of Spirit Week. And if we ever can’t think of something to talk about, there’s always Chaucer,” he concluded with an amused smile. The smile vanished as he shifted gears, and Alex felt the warmth that had been building in his chest freeze momentarily.

“I know you’re not really out and you don’t really want to be seen as a couple,” Zeb went on. “But since our friends figured us out before we did, I was wondering if you’d consider, if you’d be comfortable with, going to Homecoming with me, as my date.” As he finished, he sought out Alex’s eyes with his own, and Alex could feel his own eyes growing huge as the warmth in his chest returned and his lungs tried to remember how to work. “That’s… that’s all I wanted to say,” Zeb mumbled, breaking eye contact and fidgeting with the paper in his hands. 

Alex’s jaw worked for a moment before his voice caught up. “Zeb…” he breathed. “I… that was… wow.” To give himself time to settle his thoughts, he gently took the paper from Zeb’s hands. “Is this what Ezra had stolen, the other day? Is that why you didn’t want to say what had happened?”

“Yeah,” Zeb admitted, “I was working on it in the library, and Ez thought it was hilarious .”

“Well, I think it’s sweet.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Alex took a deep breath and tried to put his thoughts into coherent sentences. Finally, he was ready to let them out. “Zeb, it’s not that I don’t want to be seen with you as a couple. It’s not about you or anything wrong with you or with us being together. I just haven’t ever been able to openly show interest in anybody, let alone date anybody, without being afraid of how other people are going to react. I mean, you saw yesterday how people from my old school could be. It wasn’t just Kass. So it’s still kind of a reflex to try and hide it. Even in community theater groups, where other guys asked me out, I was too nervous to go out more than once with anybody.” He paused, wanting to be especially clear with the next part. “But I don’t want to do that to you. I can’t just dive head first because it’s just too much and I don’t want to hit that wall and bail like I have before, because I just… I like you so much . And that wouldn’t be fair to you. And maybe it’s not fair to be so slow, either, but it’s the only way to keep myself from panicking and running the fuck away. Like… have you seen What About Bob? ” Zeb nodded, but looked very confused. “It’s like that, I need to take baby steps to go forward. Baby steps to stick with you. Because I really want to, but it’s going against all my conditioning. Does that make sense?” He pinned Zeb with a desperate look.

Zeb nodded.  “Yeah, I think so. So, um, still no pressure, but… that wasn’t really an answer?”

Alex almost laughed at Zeb’s tentative look. “I think…” he began, then stopped to rearrange his response. “This school is a lot more accepting. And we’ll be with your-- our friends. And like you said, they saw what was going on before we did. So, I think, yeah. I think I can handle that. And I really want to.”

*****

Reshelving had always been one of Kanan’s favorite library tasks. The monotony and structure of it gave him time to relax and enjoy the quiet. So even though he had noticed the boys walking by the library windows in the garden, he was startled out of his thoughts by a whoop that he had not expected. Looking out the window, he saw Zeb and Alex at the far end of the garden, and Zeb had swooped Alex up in a bear hug and was spinning around. Then he saw Zeb put the other boy back on his feet and raise his hands placatingly, clearly apologizing for manhandling him. Kanan couldn’t help but laugh. 

By the time Hera returned from running copies in the faculty room a couple of minutes later, Kanan was back to work, but had still noticed that the boys were heading back towards the school building hand-in-hand. 

“Ready to go, Love?”

“Almost,” he replied. “Got a little distracted by our new lovebirds out there.”

Hera’s eyes followed his to the windows. “Oh that’s adorable,” she said, and laughed in that way that never failed to enchant him.. 

“Isn’t it?” He shook his head with a smile and returned another book to its place, snug amongst the others. “It’s like they just fit together.”

Chapter Text

greekxgodxzeb: hey you there?

fulcrum021: Hi, yes. 

greekxgodxzeb: soooo i kinda forgot to give you the clothes i’m lending you for Monday

greekxgodxzeb: oops

fulcrum021: LoL we were a little distracted thinking of other things. I guess if you just bring them Monday I can get changed at school in the morning.

greekxgodxzeb: k

greekxgodxzeb: hey Alex? 

fulcrum021: Yes???

greekxgodxzeb: thank you. for taking a chance with me i mean. i know it’s a big deal, and i just want you to know i appreciate it

fulcrum021: Well, thank you for helping me feel comfortable enough to take the chance. You’ve really helped me a lot in a really short time. For the first time, I don’t mind being seen for who I am.

*****

Alex wasn’t sure what he expected to be walking into on Monday morning, but it certainly wasn’t quite the sleepover vibe that pervaded the school. Zeb was waiting for him at their lockers, leaning against them in a fuzzy robe and flannel pyjamas. And slippers.

“Well you look cozy,” he greeted Zeb. “I didn’t know slippers were allowed, I’d’ve brought mine.”

“Sorry, I forgot to mention it.” Zeb held out a folded pair of flannel pyjamas in green plaid. “I thought these would look best on you.”

Alex took them with a thank you. “I’ll be right back. Watch my backpack, would you?” 

When he returned from the boys’ bathroom, he too looked (and felt) rather comfortable in Zeb’s pyjama pants and an old tshirt. He’d looked around at other students in the hallway and felt a little better about his sneakers once he saw that he wasn’t the only one that didn’t bring slippers. 

“Perfect!” Zeb said when he saw him. “Hey don’t forget they cram everybody into one lunch period and seat us by class this week, so try to get to the cafeteria early so we can find a table across from Sabine and the dudes. If you wanna see them, that is.”

“Yeah, of course,” Alex responded. “Always gotta hear what Chop has to complain about at lunchtime,” he added with a sly grin.

Lunchtime was every bit as chaotic as he should have expected, with far too many students in the cafeteria at one time. Fortunately, though, he and Zeb were able to sit near Sabine, Chop, and Abe, which was worth it even if for no other reason than seeing Sabine’s ridiculous red-and-black zebra striped fuzzy slippers and Abe’s old-man pyjamas.

“You two! Stand together for a sec, I need to get a picture!” Sabine crowed across the aisle. As the boys stood to obey, Ketsu joined Sabine and called out “Say cheese!”

“Ketsu! Why don’t we see you at lunch normally?” Alex couldn’t help but ask.

“Oh, I spend lunchtime in the library tutoring freshmen,” she replied. “Community service… it’s a long story. But not this week!” She grinned, then changed the subject, saying “How are you liking Spirit Week so far? Pyjama day is my favorite day of the week.”

“It’s… only been half a day,” Alex replied. “But yeah, it’s kind of nice. Though I had to borrow these from Zeb.”

Chopper lit up. “So you finally got in Zeb’s pants?” While it was clear that he cracked himself up, Sabine and Abe both punched his arms and Ketsu had the decency to stifle her laughter. Alex, meanwhile, felt himself turning beet red, and looked across the table at Zeb. Zeb had his head down, but Alex could just see the look of just-contained irritation in his gritted teeth and narrowed eyes. The next thing he knew, Zeb had raised his head and chucked a baby carrot at Chop.

“Mind your damn business!” he yelled across the aisle, and Ketsu finally let out a raucous laugh. 

“Is this what I’m missing at lunch every day?” Ketsu demanded from the group. Alex couldn’t stop himself from nodding.

“Pretty much.”

At the end of the day, Zeb told Alex he didn’t have to worry about changing but could give the pyjamas back later. Secretly, Alex celebrated a little in his head. All day, he’d felt like he had Zeb and his warmth with him, so he was more than pleased to take that feeling home. And though he wasn’t used to the feeling of pyjama pants twisting and clinging to him in bed, he slept in them anyway.

*****

Zeb was practically bouncing on his way into the school on Tuesday morning. Even though they didn’t have any classes together, he couldn’t wait to show off his and Alex’s identical looks. It was a little silly, he knew, but anything that tied them together made him giddy. 

Alex was waiting for him at their lockers.

“Goddamn, you look hot!” Zeb blurted out.

And he did, leaning against his locker door, one hand in his jeans pocket, plaid shirt open over the most ridiculously crisp white t-shirt. His clean jeans (lacking the paint stains on the ones he normally wore to set builds) were the perfect fit, so that while they were by no means tight, Zeb could see the shape of the legs within. He had one Doc Marten crossed over the other, and was running his free hand through his hair when Zeb’s pronouncement jolted him to attention. Immediately the relaxed magazine-model look was gone as Alex stood up straight and went a little red. 

“Uh, thanks,” he mumbled. Then, running his eyes over Zeb, he added “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

“Thanks,” Zeb smiled back, but then was already distracted again, noticing finally that growing in his sideburns really suited Alex. Maybe he should thank Ms. Syndulla for that styling choice. “I’m… really glad you’re my twin.”

“Please stop,” Alex grumbled, face fully red now. “I cannot handle it.”

“Sorry, sorry. Oh! I almost forgot.” Zeb pulled a camera out of his backpack. “My mom wants a picture. That okay with you?”

“I -- what? Sure,” Alex sputtered, and leaned in next to Zeb as the taller boy held the camera out at arm’s length. “Don’t you just want to get Sabine to take it or something?”

“Just smile,” Zeb clicked the shutter button. “Okay. Sure, we can get Sabine to take one, too, but this way I know I’ve got at least one, and I don’t have to lie to tell my mom I took one.”

As it turned out, Sabine took several pictures of them. She caught them in the hallway before they left their lockers, snapped a couple of candids at lunchtime, and when Zeb arrived at rehearsal, she pulled him over to a group picture she was setting up.

“Didn’t you take enough yet?” Zeb groused. 

“I want to get all the Drama twins,” she reasoned. Already she had gathered Ezra and Jai, Wedge and Mart, Abe and Chop, and Ketsu. “Besides, this’ll use up the roll, and I can run it down to the one-hour photo place while we’re here.”

“Then you better get in the shot with Ketsu,” he countered, looking for Alex. “I’ll take the picture.” He felt a tug on the back of his shirt, and turned to find Alex smiling up at him. 

“I’m starting to feel like a model with all these pictures being taken,” Alex said. “Get in here before it goes to my head.”

Sabine called out to Mr. Jarrus, asking him to snap the picture, and scooted in next to Ketsu after handing her camera over. Partially concealed behind Wedge and Mart, Zeb pulled Alex closer than they’d stood for any of the previous photos of the day. The tiny gasp he heard from Alex before Mr. Jarrus called out “say cheese!” was enough to give him the biggest smile in the group.

True to her word, Sabine did take the film to be developed during rehearsal, so while Alex and the younger students’ rides were already there to take them home, Zeb and Ketsu walked with Sabine and her brother Tristan to pick up the photos. Unable to wait, they started looking through them on the way back to the school. There were some good shots from Monday, including one of Sabine and Ketsu leaning their heads on each other and pretending to sleep. Ketsu immediately snagged the duplicate of that one, declaring it was going in her locker. They all agreed that they’d have to keep the pictures of Abe for future blackmail material. Sabine told Zeb that she snapped two shots each time she photographed him and Alex, so they could both have copies; he realized how much he appreciated that when he saw the picture of the two of them in their pyjamas at lunchtime. 

“Glad I’m not gonna have to fight him for who gets the picture,” he said. 

“You guys are pretty adorable,” Ketsu commented. “Are you dating yet?”

“Sort of,” Zeb hedged, while a knowing smirk crossed Sabine’s face. “It’s complicated.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tristan asked, taking an interest. Sabine snorted in amusement.

“Well, I mean, so…” Zeb struggled to start an explanation. “Like, he’s not really out, but it’s also kind of obvious - as certain people have been all too happy to point out.” He threw an accusatory look at Sabine. “So I don’t know that I can say we’re ‘official’ really, but we’re sorta together? We’re going to Homecoming together, so like that’s a start.”

Ketsu gave an open-mouthed look of excited surprise, but Tristan just had to ruin the moment. “Oh yeah, Bine, I’m supposed to ask you if you did decide on a date for Homecoming. Ezra said that if you didn’t, he’d be happy to help.”

Sabine stopped in her tracks with an exasperated roar and turned on her brother. “Don’t be his messenger! You tell him that as long as I’m still older than him, the answer is no !” Zeb and Ketsu were failing miserably to stifle their laughter, so she rounded on them, too. “It’s not funny!”

“Mm-hmm,” Zeb hummed. “Let’s see the 50 million pictures you took today.” Sabine grumbled a bit but went back to the photos. Zeb couldn’t deny that she and Ketsu looked really cute in their matching JNCO jeans, platform combat boots, and fitted t-shirts that Sabine had screen-printed specially for them, and it was pretty hilarious to see Abe and Chop in matching overalls with a picture from their childhood as inspiration, what he really was waiting for was his set of photos with Alex. Naturally. He didn’t even wait for Sabine to hand him his copies, he just pulled them out of the stack as they came up.

“Oh my God,” Sabine complained. “Must you be all grabby? You’ll get your copies, don’t worry! Then you can stare at Alex all you want!”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Zeb commented, staring at Alex in the photos already. “I mean, look at him, he’s so hot.” He heard Tristan behind him mumble “If you say so,” but chose to ignore him. Instead he looked back to the stack of pictures in Sabine’s hands, and even she stopped to stare when she started flipping through the group photos from rehearsal. “What?”

“Look at him,” she marvelled. 

“Oh, I am,” Zeb assured her.

Ketsu leaned over from Sabine’s other side. “He’s got it bad,” she murmured. 

“What?” Zeb pressed, and even Tristan crowded in to look.

“Look,” Sabine insisted, paging through the group photos. “Mr. Jarrus took a bunch of shots for me, so I’d have enough to give everybody a copy and use up the film. But look at Alex in each one. He starts out looking up at you in this first one, then by the second one he’s looking at the camera but as you go through each shot you can see him lean in closer to you and smile more. It’s almost like a flipbook.”

“Man,” interjected Tristan. “He’s loosened up a lot since rehearsals started, but I’ve never seen him look that relaxed.”

Zeb just continued to stare. Did Alex really look at him like that? Like he was the 8th Wonder of the World or something? I’m not that special , he thought. Not like he is.

*****

Sabine had to admit that black was a particularly good color for Alex. But the way Zeb was just openly ogling him across the lunch table was getting a little creepy. Alex was talking across the aisle with Ketsu, something about one of their scenes, and Zeb was all googly-eyed. Finally having had enough, Sabine stepped across the aisle and leaned in toward Zeb’s ear, whispering “Wipe the drool off your chin, creeper.”

That startled him to attention, and he hissed at her “I’m not drooling!”

“Not quite,” she acquiesced, “but close enough. It’s killing my appetite.”

“Then don’t look,” Zeb shot back. “Anyway, I can’t help it, he looks so good in black. I mean, damn. So hot.” Sabine sighed, about to point out how ridiculous he was, but she didn’t get the chance.

“He’s also sitting right here ,” Alex directed at them, face beginning to color. “I appreciate the compliment, but it’s embarrassing to hear you talking about me like I’m not here.”

“Sorry,” Zeb said sincerely. “But you do look hot.”

“Yeah,” chipped in Sabine. “You’d pull off Goth really well.” To her relief, that finally cut the tension and made Alex laugh.

“If only you knew. Just wait for tomorrow.”

*****

“Dude. The eyeliner !” Somehow that was the first thing that burst from Zeb’s mouth when he saw Alex on Thursday morning for Theme Day. Alex’s whole costume was amazing, from the tux to the pale makeup to the slicked-back hair. But the black eyeliner just defined his eyes and made the golden-brown color of his irises seem even brighter. “Sabine was right, you’d be a good Goth.”

“Would you believe I had an all-black-clothing phase for a couple years?” Alex asked, the smirk on his face saying for once that he knew exactly how good he looked. “Eyeliner was a bit too much for me then. Sounds like I should try and work it into my style now, though, huh?”

“I would not say no,” Zeb admitted. “Your makeup all looks great, by the way. Not something I’d be able to do.” He gestured to his own bare face with one fuzzy-gloved hand. “Just got my wolf ears and these gloves to do the special effects for me. Oh and the teeth.” 

“Yeah, I’ve got to put mine in, too,” Alex commented as Zeb pulled his own set from his pocket. “Have you used these before?”

“Nah, can’t be that hard though, right?” Zeb rubbed his teeth dry and started applying the glue. “Bleh, okay, not that great either…” he mumbled as he pressed the first fang in place. It tasted awful. Alex just laughed. 

“The things we do for beauty,” he quipped. 

Once they each got their fangs in place, they did what any teenager proud of their costume would do: they stood there and growled and hissed at each other for a minute, baring their teeth for full effect, before collapsing into fits of laughter.

“This might be the best idea we’ve had, ever,” Zeb said as he caught his breath.

“Yo-ho!” came Sabine’s voice down the hall, grabbing their attention. The Junior class theme was Pirates, and she did not do anything by half-measures. Her baggy linen pants (which Zeb knew she had sewn over the weekend just for this) were tucked into knee-high boots and topped with a big peasant shirt belted at the waist. A plastic cutlass hung from the belt as well as an orange-tipped toy musket pistol. Her now-orange hair was mostly covered by a colorful silk scarf tied as a bandanna under her tricorn hat, which sported enormous purple and orange feathers. And of course, she had her camera.

“Awooo!” Zeb howled in greeting. Beside him, he heard Alex start to say “Good evening” in his best Bela Lugosi voice but break off halfway through with a laugh. 

“You guys look great!” Sabine dodged a senior wearing a sheet draped over them. “Lemme get a picture.”

They posed, both trying to look as threatening as possible (judging from Sabine’s laugh, it didn’t work), and then Zeb felt Alex’s hands on his shoulder and neck. “Huh?” he looked down inquiringly.

“I’m biting you, relax,” Alex said with another smirk. “For the picture.”

Zeb acquiesced, and when he looked in Sabine’s direction for the photo, she gave him a thumbs up and a salacious grin. And then Alex’s fingertips slid up his neck to hold him lightly in position and Zeb promptly forgot how to think. He vaguely heard a small, brief whine, and then his mind engaged again and he realized it came from himself. Opening his eyes made him realize he had let them slide closed as Alex fucking caressed his neck. Maybe that wasn’t what Alex meant to do, but that is most definitely how it ended up. Zeb tried to fight a shiver that travelled down his spine, and looked ahead at Sabine. She’d never let him hear the end of this.

Sabine was adjusting something on her camera, apparently oblivious. Alex was still behind him, either unaware of what he was doing to Zeb or being completely evil in the middle of the school hallway. That’s when Zeb realized that what had felt like a very long minute or fifty had in fact been about one second or less. That was good. He took a deep breath and focused on posing, trying to ignore Alex’s proximity and the feeling of his hands on his neck and shoulder. 

“Come on, Zeb, look scared or something!” Sabine’s command made Alex laugh, distracting Zeb again with the feel of Alex’s breath on his neck, but this time he got a hold of himself and did as he was told. When Sabine had taken enough shots to be satisfied, he wasn’t sure if he was relieved or bereft by Alex removing his inconvenient hands and stepping away. As Sabine ran off to her homeroom, Zeb put his arm around Alex’s shoulders, pulled him close in to his side, and leaned down a bit to speak in his ear.

“Please don’t use that particular pose in front of people again,” he whispered to Alex, who tensed up immediately. “Just because if you do, I might embarrass both of us.” Alex jolted a bit, and snapped his head around to look at Zeb with a mortified expression. Just as quickly, he then coughed out an incredulous laugh and nodded in agreement just as the bell rang and they had to sprint off to their respective homerooms.

Zeb did not absorb a thing that was said on that morning’s announcements.

*****

Alex was not surprised to see the multitude of Ghostface masks, hockey masks, and Michael Meyers masks, as he and Zeb had predicted. He was, however, surprised at how much he enjoyed the attention he was getting for his costume. He’d started out a few weeks ago wanting to fly under the radar and not catch anybody’s attention, and now that he was safely shrouded in a tuxedo, makeup, and plastic fangs, Alex found that it was easier to smile when he caught someone giving him an impressed look and to accept compliments. Life is so much easier when I’m in character , he thought as he settled into second period. 

Lunchtime was the usual chaos, but he and Zeb managed to find their Junior friends again and sit across from them. Ketsu was dressed like a real pirate queen, her red and black bodice and hiked-up skirt just modest enough for school. When she saw Alex and Zeb, a slow smile spread across her face.

“Well here’s the slick vampire and rugged werewolf I heard about from Sabine,” she said. “You guys look amazing. Alex, that eyeliner is bitchin’!”

Alex smiled, and felt rather than saw Zeb beaming at him. “Thanks,” he replied. “I’ve been told I should wear it more often.”

“You should keep the sideburns, too,” Ketsu advised.

“You think so?” Alex asked and then looked across at Zeb to find him nodding his head enthusiastically. “Huh, okay. Maybe I will.”

When rehearsal came around, Ms. Syndulla was even impressed with his costume. “The sideburns are looking good,” she told him, “and if you’re not careful I might make you help Sabine with makeup duty, and with costumes.” 

When he told Zeb about that later, Zeb just gave him a sly grin and said “Hey, then you’d be backstage through the whole show… with me .” Alex laughed at Zeb’s expression, and even gave that idea a momentary thought.

“I’d better not,” Alex concluded. “We’d never get any work done.”

*****

Friday morning, Alex found he was more excited than he’d expected to be. Partly, he realized that he’d have to go back to wearing his uniform the following week, and was determined to enjoy wearing “normal” clothes to school for one more day. But partly, he was looking forward to celebrating his new school at the pep rally that afternoon, and to seeing his class predictably win the spirit trophy.

Zeb was practically vibrating when they met at their lockers that morning. “Last day!” he crowed. “And then, tomorrow…” here he raised his eyebrows at Alex. “Are you ready to rock?”

Alex laughed, and finally realized that what Zeb had just brought up was another contributing factor in his excitement. It was now only one day away from the Homecoming dance, when he’d promised himself that he would relax and have fun and be as close to Zeb as he wanted, no matter who was around. Sure, there was some anxiety underlying that excitement, but he’d been working on quelling the anxiety and focusing on the positive excitement all week.

“I’ll rock your socks off,” he replied to Zeb with a grin. “By the way, are we going to the game tonight?” He realized he’d said “we” after the question was out of his mouth. Oh well , he thought. We’ve been doing everything else together, it’s probably not that big of an assumption .

Zeb shook his head, but then stopped. “I mean, if you want to go, I’ll go with you. I just mean that I don’t normally go. Our fields aren’t even on campus, and I’m actually not that big on football. Did you want to go?”

“Oh, no, actually that’s kind of a relief. I hate football. Can’t make sense of it.” He smiled, and all at once Zeb pulled him into a hug. Alex felt the rumble in Zeb’s chest and throat against his own chest and face as the larger boy started to laugh. 

“Thank God,” Zeb chuckled. “I didn’t want to assume you weren’t a fan; I’m glad you’re a typical actor in one way at least.”

Alex vaguely felt that he should be offended by the “typical actor” comment, but instead he just laughed along with Zeb before they broke apart for homeroom.

*****

The pep rally following lunch was the usual cheerleaders-and-band affair that it always was. Homecoming King and Queen were announced, and nobody was surprised at who they were, but they all cheered appropriately anyway. The senior class was awarded the spirit trophy, all of them swelling with pride. Zeb was just enjoying the sea of orange-and-white-clad joy around him, with one new feature to make him especially happy. Alex was seated beside him, cheering just as enthusiastically as the kids who’d come up through Alliance Elementary into Alliance Academy. And every time they stood up to cheer and sat back down, Alex was sitting ever so slightly closer to him, until they were pressed together at the shoulders and knees. While the football coach gave some kind of speech about how the team was going to win and show everyone what Alliance was made of, Zeb found Alex stretching up to speak close to his ear.

“This week has been the most fun I’ve had at school in a long time,” he whispered. “Thank you for being my guide, and my partner.”

In response, Zeb could only put an arm around Alex’s shoulders and squeeze.