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Sasha is a good stage manager. Better, actually. She’s great. She is always on time, always prepared and always completely and 100% professional. Shows run smoother if Sasha James is in charge, and of course, that goes for this production as well.
There’s just one scene she doesn’t like. The final scene of act one isn’t particularly difficult to manage; it’s actually quite simple. It’s one of the few times in the show that Sasha gets to sit back and watch for a moment.
She wishes it wasn't.
The first time she was free to sit and watch that scene, it made her feel sick. Her heart leapt into her throat and she wanted to close her eyes, but something sadistic and twisted in her wouldn’t let her look away. She just sat there, staring, being forced to confront the fact that she, Sasha James, hated watching Tim Stoker and Alexa Knothem kiss. That was how she phrased it in her mind. It was less messy to phrase it like that than to truly acknowledge the whole of how she was feeling, which was that she would have hated watching Tim Stoker kiss anyone. She was jealous. And if she acknowledged the fact that she was jealous, she would also have to acknowledge why she was jealous.
She wanted Tim to kiss her instead.
Which was honestly ridiculous. She and Tim weren’t close, but he was one of the few actors she really liked and got along with. They’d worked on a few shows together, and he was always one of the good ones--the kind of person who would hold his fellow actors accountable for leaving their costumes on the floor or dicking around with props that didn’t belong to them. He was funny and charming and practically every girl in the company had a crush on him. But that didn’t mean Sasha did.
No, she absolutely did not have a crush on Tim Stoker at all. She just hated the end of act one. Not even just for kiss related reasons! She just hated it; she was allowed to have scenes she didn’t like.
Besides, Alexa didn’t even play it right. She was supposed to be… surprised, alarmed even, when he kissed her. She wasn’t supposed to kiss back. Hell, her response to being kissed is ‘what was that?’ She’s not supposed to look like she’s enjoying it so much…
“Sasha, have you called five yet?”
Elias’s voice breaks into her bitter thoughts and Sasha has to set aside her ruminations on Alexa’s mischaracterization of one of the most important moments in the show to run to the basement.
“Five minutes to places!” she calls into the dressing room, and among the chorus of thank you five, she hears Tim calling for her.
“Sash! You have a minute to do my eyeliner?”
“Shit, yeah, I almost forgot, c’mere…”
Ever since they’d started running with costumes and makeup, she’d been doing Tim’s eyeliner for him--she can’t believe she almost forgot. She sits him down on a stool and he hands her his eyeliner pencil.
“We really need to get you a better eyeliner than this,” Sasha mutters under her breath, which makes Tim laugh and she has to hold him by his chin to keep him still. “Close your eyes,” she instructs, and he does.
Sasha leans in close enough to see what she’s doing, and carefully draws a thin line of brown across his eyelids. He looks good like that. He would look nice in eyeliner, just like, on a day to day basis. Of course, he’d look good any way this close up--and she is very close. She could kiss him. She doesn’t, of course, but she does think about it, and she does spend just a moment longer than she really needs to, making sure it all looks perfect…
“Looks good,” she says eventually, pulling back and taking a look at him. He just gives her this big, goofy grin.
“Thank you, Miss Sasha, I’ll let you get back to your tasks, but I will see you in the wings!” He winks at her, because of course he does, and Sasha just rolls her eyes as if that wasn’t the cutest thing she’s ever seen.
“See you in the wings, Stoker…”
Elias is already in her headset, yelling about the table being set on the wrong spikes, and Sasha has to go fix whatever mess her stage hands have made of the set, but she keeps thinking about that cute little wink…
All in all, the show runs smoothly that evening. The audience is surprisingly energetic, and that always helps the actors put on a better show--but it can also make some of them a bit unpredictable. Agnes hits Jane in the forehead with her wooden spoon in the very first scene, Jon almost drops Annabelle halfway through act one, and somewhere at some point, Martin loses a button on his vest and Melanie has to whip out the emergency sewing kit to put it back on. So a pretty incident free act one.
And then, the end of the act…
Sasha would have loved to have something to do. She looked for anything, a costume to repair, an actor to yell at, she even asked Elias over headset if he needed anything. Nothing. Great…
She stands in the wings, watching. She could just walk away. Unless something horrific happened in the tech booth, she would be fine to let the end of the act run. Nothing would go wrong if she walked away until intermission…
But once again, she feels stuck in place, watching Tim speak, and for a moment, for one beautiful, wonderful moment, she can imagine he’s talking only to her.
“I need to tell you something.”
Tell me something.
“Ever since that first day I saw you--do you remember that day? I knew then that you and I would be magnificent together…”
They would be. They could be... magnificent together. He was sweet and funny and he always made her laugh. When he was around her, she felt… warm. She felt happy. He asked her to run lines with him in the halls and he laughed at her jokes and told her she was a good scene partner. He made her smile even when she felt like absolute shit. He brought her donuts and fancy iced coffee the first day of tech week because he knew it would be a long day. And when she told him how much she’d liked it, he’d brought her another different fancy iced coffee every day the rest of that week until opening night. He brought her coffee before that first performance, and a little bag of chocolates and a gift card to his favorite coffee shop. He told her, ‘you deserve it…’
“My sweet Jo… For weeks now--months actually--this whole year even! I’ve wanted to…”
That’s when the moment ends and he’s kissing Alexa again. It hurts worse this time. Sasha hates how content he looks, his hands curled around her waist, kissing her like it’s all he’s wanted for so long. It doesn’t help that she can feel how smug Alexa is. She knows that everyone in the room is jealous that she’s the one who gets to be kissed by him. All of it is awful…
But the kiss ends, though it feels like it lasts longer tonight than it usually does. Alexa scolds Tim and he runs offstage. He grins at Sasha as he passes her and doesn’t notice in the dark wingspace how devastated she looks. And the show goes on.
They run for three weekends. Sasha doesn’t let herself get lost in Tim’s words at the end of act one anymore. It’s better that way. She knows she shouldn’t let herself dream, so she doesn’t.
The whole cast goes out for food and drinks after the last show. Sasha had told herself she wouldn’t go, but Tim had asked, and he promised to save her a seat--actually he’d said he wouldn’t let anyone sit next to him but her, so if she didn’t go, he’d have an empty seat next to him all night and wouldn’t have any fun--so she’d agreed.
She feels a little out of place walking in. She doesn’t see any other crew members there, and she almost wonders if this was a really awful idea, until Tim spots her and waves her over enthusiastically. He has an empty chair next to his, just like he promised…
“Hey! I was worried you were gonna stand me up,” he teases her, and Sasha honest to goodness blushes.
“No, I just had to stop home and… clean up a little,” she chuckles. Her all black stage manager clothes have been swapped out for a simple, blue dress, and she’s touched up her makeup a little--both because she wanted to look nice and because she didn’t want to get there too early.
"Well you look absolutely beautiful." Well there she goes blushing again. Tim pulls out her chair for her, and motions for her to sit down.
"What a gentleman," she laughs, taking her seat beside him, and Tim does a flourishing little bow as he sits back down that makes her laugh.
And it's actually a surprisingly good time. The actors are… actors, but Tim actually lets her in on their inside jokes and makes sure she feels included. It's nice. By the time the evening starts to wrap up, she's actually a little sad that it's over. She grabs her phone off the table and her- oh shit. Her coat is definitely still at the theatre.
She sighs.
"Everything okay?" Tim asks, like the sweetheart he is.
"Yeah I just left my coat at the theatre, I'll have to walk back and get it."
"Oh, uh, I can walk back with you, if you want…" Does he always have to be so thoughtful? Sasha shakes her head.
"That's alright, I'll be fine-" she starts, but Tim interrupts her, not having any of it.
“Sash, seriously, it’s not safe for anyone to walk alone this late at night, I’ll come with you.” She sighs. This is probably the last chance she has to see him unless they end up working on another show together, and that won’t be anytime soon…
“If you insist,” she finally agrees, and Tim gives her a big, dopey smile.
They say their goodbyes--well mostly Tim says goodbye to everyone and bids them all farewell with big bear hugs and Sasha stands nearby and waves--and then head out together. It’s colder than when they’d arrived, and Sasha suddenly regrets not throwing a sweater on while she was home.
“You okay?” Tim asks her as they walk, and Sasha nods.
“Yeah, just cold.”
“Here-” He starts taking his coat off and Sasha’s heart melts as he drapes it over her shoulders. It’s too big on her, and it’s warm from the heat of his body and it smells like him. It’s the most wonderful thing she’s ever worn.
“Ohh… Thanks, Tim…” She smiles up at him and he beams. “You sure you won’t be too cold now?”
“Nah, I’m good. Great even! Don’t feel a thing!” Tim laughs and so does Sasha and it’s so nice. She feels bold, walking through the dimly lit streets, wearing his coat, so she reaches out and holds his hand, and Tim holds hers back.
"If you say so…" They walk in comfortable silence for a moment, just the two of them and the cold autumn breeze, and then, "I don't know if I ever told you, you were really good in this show."
"Really?" He looks surprised, as if no one had told him that before.
"Yeah, of course--you're good in every show, but… I think this one suited you." Tim smiles at that, squeezing her hand.
"Thanks. That… means a lot coming from you…"
They make it to the theatre, and Sasha unlocks the back door, letting them both into the alcove attached to the stage. It's pitch black inside the alcove, and it takes her a moment to feel her way toward any sort of light switch, but eventually she finds the work lights and flips it on, one dangling, lightbulb above them.
"Spooky," Tim murmurs under his breath and it makes Sasha laugh.
"Right?" She grabs his hand again, just because she can. "I think my jacket is in the green room, you coming with or waiting here?"
"Absolutely coming with, you're not ditching me in spooky single lightbulb territory. That's how people die, Sash!"
She laughs again, and they make their way down the steep, incredibly dangerous stairs into the basement, finding their way from one light switch to the next just to get into the greenroom.
Her jacket is right where she left it, thrown over the back of the too-soft couch in the middle of the room. And just like that, their little nighttime excursion is coming to an end. Sasha sighs a little, shrugging off Tim's coat and handing it back to him, but he stops her.
"Maybe… hold onto it for a little bit," he says softly, and Sasha just looks at him, puzzled.
"But it's your-"
"Yeah, you'll get it back to me."
"But I don't know when I'll see you again-"
"Then let's plan to see each other… outside of shows…" He gives her a hopeful little smile, and Sasha can't help but smile back.
"O-okay…" There is silence for a minute as Sasha puts his coat back on. He's looking at her in a way that's familiar, but it's not an expression she can place. She gives him a quizzical little look and finally, he says something.
"Sasha can I… can I tell you something?"
Those words make her heart race.
"Tell me something."
Tim takes a breath.
"I don't want to stop seeing you now that the show is over," he says, and she goes to agree, but he continues before she can say anything. "I… Sasha I have done a lot of thinking lately, and I think I'm overthinking, so… Can I kiss you?"
"Sorry, what?" She heard him wrong, she had to have. Tim Stoker did not just ask to kiss her… except that he does it a second time.
"I want to kiss you- I mean, if you want me to. If you don't, that's okay, I might've misread the situation a bit, I just thought maybe… You know what, it's fine, you don't have to, we can just forg-"
As soon as she's processed the words he's saying, Sasha cuts him off, grabbing his face and pulling his mouth to hers.
And she kisses him. And it's wonderful.
His arms wrap around her waist and pull her in close and she can feel him start to smile against her lips. She smiles too. She can't stop smiling and the kiss turns clunky and awkward because they're both grinning like idiots, but neither of them care.
He eventually pulls away just slightly, his nose brushing hers.
“Hey, Sash, can I tell you a secret?” he breathes, and she could swear she'd never seen anything so beautiful as the dazed and besotted look in his eyes.
“Yeah, of course…”
“I know how to put on my own eyeliner."
Sasha's eyes went wide, realizing what that meant.
"Timothy Stoker!" She chides and smacks him gently on the arm. She opens her mouth to scold him for being such an insufferable flirt and for wasting her precious pre-show time, but before she can get another word out, his lips are on hers once more, and she suddenly decides she isn't really all that upset about the eyeliner...