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John glanced nervously to the neighboring table and then back at the menu. Everyone was dressed in suits and ties, even Nanaue, for god sake. Johnny has traded his red tie for a properly tied black one and … well, that was about it.
“This is really a fancy place.”
“Yes, isn’t it, John? Took me forever to get a reservation, even after hacking their computer.”
The waiter came and took their orders. John glanced again at the other table. No. This couldn’t be happening. He was not a workaholic and despite what some people said, he didn’t have a savior complex.
“The wine all looked so nice.” John said casually, trying to focus on the meal. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe there wasn’t any magic here except his own.
“Yet you didn’t seem to pay attention to what you ordered.”
“Didn’ I?”
Why was this happening to him? Right now, in this nice place, with Nanaue looking at him as if he could smell what was going on.
“John, you’re distracted.”
“Mm?”
It wasn’t fair.
“Just talk to me.”
He knew Nananue wouldn't like what he was about to say, but he just couldn't stop himself. All the telltales were there alright. It seemed no matter what he did, this kind of thing followed him. Maybe he was still cursed even though his soul wasn’t damned anymore.
"That woman is possessed, luv. Look at her eyes. They gleam red."
“John, are you sure it isn’t the light reflecting from her date’s rather brightly colored dress.” Nanaue’s reply was weak, as he knew some things you just didn’t argue with Constantine. He wasn’t dating the greatest magician of the world to doubt his word.
"She's sweating yellow." Yes, he had sworn to not work on their night out, but still... "And that's not a tattoo in her wrist. It's the demon Mukala's mark."
“You’re going to try and exorcise her, aren’t you?” Nanaue was somehow sympathetic and a touch miffed in one look. “I’ll be back up.”
"No, I just... What? Aren't... aren't you goin' to give me an earful for working on our date?"
Nanaue gave him a wide smile. How could he get angry at him over things like that? “John, I can’t get mad at you for wanting to help people. Your kind heart is one of the things I like best about you.”
"I l... You're the best, you know that?" He realized he had almost spit out an I love you he was not ready to say yet. "Right, mate, here's the plan. Once I start chantin', she'll float and scream, probably try to attack me. Gotta protect her date, though I suspect she's possessed as well so you may end up grabbing a toothy demon as well. Hold her tigh' until I finish with the first one, will ya?"
"Of course, and you watch out for her elbows. She may be stronger than she looks."
"Every possessed person is stronger than they look. Have you ever dealt with possessions?"
"No, not especially. It's not our usual thing, we tend to go for banks and bombs mostly."
John was already regretting it. Why the bloody hell did he keep dragging his loved ones to battle? Yet Nanaue looked decided and ready to fight, an excited expression on his face. He just hoped they wouldn’t have to regret it later.
"Then, fast class.” He started counting with his fingers as he gave his lesson. “Don' let her bite ya. She'll try ta convince you, don' listen to her bullshit. She'll be stronger than your usual human. If her head spins, don' worry, she'll be fine once I remove ta demon. Don' let her jump if I open a portal until I’m done. Any questions?"
"How likely are you to do something stupid and reckless?"
"In a scale from 1 to 10?” John gave it some thought. “11, probably. Any problem? I still plan on drinkin' that fancy wine we ordered."
"Just don't temporarily die on me, please."
"Nah, too nasty to be kept down, don' worry."
"All right then, all right." Nanaue moved swiftly to the next table, suddenly wrapping his fins around the date.
"... I didn't say do it yet..." John murmured under his breath, and began chanting as all the restaurant turned to see why both women were screaming. Most people didn’t just run to grab demons before he gave the order, so Nanaue just grabbing her left him underprepared.
“I can hold the other woman too if you’d like. My fins are stronger than your arms.”
The other guests kept screaming, but instead of fleeing, they began getting closer and closer. And then John noticed why.
They weren’t scared.
They were all possessed.
This was bad. Really bad. John Constantine messing it up kind of bad. And he was there with his boyfriend. They needed to get out, fast.
"Nanaue, luv... We have to recalculate. They all have Mukala’s mark."
I’m guessing freeing all of them is going to take a bit more magic?”
"... you could say that." John gulped as he braced himself. This was a disaster. Why couldn't he just enjoy his dinner without getting in trouble?
“So I take it my job is to fight them off while you channel higher magic or whatever it is you do when your eyes glow?” Nanaue was beginning to look a bit cornered, fighting people off as they were slowly surrounded. Suddenly he felt like a little fish instead of the shark in the room.
"Yes, and I'd also appreciate it if you put a bit extra effort on not dying on me." John's expression was of utter guilt and remorse. Once again he was bringing a lover to a dangerous situation.
Nanaue gave him a surprisingly soft smile. “Don’t worry so much, John. I’m not exactly easy to kill.”
"I'm really sorry I got you into this." He sighed as he lifted a hand up. "Let go of her, watch my back. I’ll have to cast a shield around us." His eyes got white as he started to chant and flames engulfed them both.
Nanaue stood by his side, knocking humans away from them with his fins. He listened to John’s chanting, taking in the strange syntax and soft words. He’d have to ask what language he was speaking.
Around them, the possessed people fell, hit either by King or Constantine’s spell, but others just took their place as the ones on the floor rose up again and again. The waves of people seemed to never end.
John sounded more desperate than usual, and Nanaue wondered if it was because of so many enemies, or because he was endangering a lover yet again. Probably the second, which meant John was probably endangering himself instead.
Nanaue sighed as he tried to keep more of them at bay, watching as some collapsed into a strange sleep, not getting up this time. It seemed John’s spell was slowly taking effect. His voice was tired, and the shark’s nose caught a smell. Blood. Human blood. Inside their flame circle. It took all his will to get his mind to answer to himself, to not get lost in the thirst that the smell made rise in him.
Nanaue remembered John saying "don' let her bite you" and wondered what would happen to John now. Just when he was his least helpful, as his head felt spinning and reasoning seemed hard.
Eventually everyone collapsed — including John, though he simply fell to his knees. He covered his hand with his free one, cursing under his breath.
"You're bleeding." Nanaue didn't look at him. He couldn't. He knew how he was with blood. "What... what will happen? I can't help you if I smell it even a bit more or touch it."
“I know, luv. If I don’ treat it I’ll die, unless.... It will poison me a bit, but I can maybe — I can inject some angel or demon blood in my veins if Luci or his brother would show up!” He yelled the last part at the ceiling, but nothing happened. “Ungrateful bastards.”
"How can I find them?" Nanaue kept giving him his back, not daring to give himself the chance of losing his mind. He wondered if he’d have to carry the magician across the country to find whoever that Luci was.
“Luci’s in LA. But if I make a portal, I can get us back to my place and grab some blood there. Thing is, my magic’s kind of spent so I might pass out and you might have ta’ carry me through it, and I can’t expect you to find and give me the blood in my house, so he’s my only choice.”
"He'll know how to do it?" He grabbed a tablecloth, not caring for all the fine plates and glasses falling and breaking. He stretched his arm as far as he could, not looking at John. "Bandage yourself, please."
John carefully wrapped it around his hand a few times, tying it with a sloppy knot. “Yup, here, I’ll make the portal — be ready to catch me.”
"Always."
John opened the portal and immediately fell to his side, eyes closing as he let out a low groan.
When John woke up again, he was at Lux, lying on a couch, with Lucifer staring at him with a toothy grin and a sleeping shark curled at his side, body half on the floor and half on his lap.
“Hullo, Luci. Take it I owe you a favor now?”
"Mmm, and a big one. It was all so entertaining! I had your grey boyfriend there almost throwing himself out of the window when I cut myself. Not to mention having Maze entertain the detective in the other room so I could make myself bleed. Really, it was all so hard to coordinate."
“Oh right. Sorry about that, mate. But you could just tell her. She likes you for some ungodly reason, so I guess she won’t scream too hard meeting your friends. A shark has to be less scary than the actual devil.”
"And explain why there is a giant shark and a dying magician in the room? I can think of a thousand more interesting things I could do with her."
Lucifer smiled at him slyly, offering him a glass of whiskey that John drank desperately. “Fair enough, I’m sure you can. Take it she didn’t see Nanaue then? Wouldn’t want him getting in trouble.”
"I don't think the detective would take well to a talking shark. We’re still sorting out this universes merging thing, and it is all so boring. Now if you'll excuse me, I promised her to help with an especially hideous crime. Apparently someone is killing people using toothpicks and I can't wait to see the bodies, even if she won’t let me take pictures with them. Rest if you want, but go home before I'm back with her."
“Good old Luci saved my life then.”
Lucifer waved and almost hopped outside, where they could hear him enthusiastically talking to Chloe. John smirked a bit. At least he wasn’t the only one gone for someone unexpected. Nanaue stirred and smiled at him. "Want to go home? I'm afraid we missed dinner."
“Sure. I’m sorry about that, luv. Leave it to me to find a restaurant where everyone is possessed.” John stood up gingerly as he wrapped an arm around Nanaue.
"We can go to another one. With any luck we'll be able to get at least to the first dish this time."