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Remus finds Logan sulking in the common room alone. Logan had just had a rather emotional transformation and it was clear that the others were giving him some space to cool-down. If you asked Remus, he thought that the others deserved a bite or two from Logan considering how they were treating him! They’d been ignoring him, again, and casting his feelings aside. Roman, in particular, had been shutting Logan down in favor of his own ideas and Remus certainly couldn't blame his boyfriend for snapping.
But finding him looking so sullen twists Remus’s guts in knots. Roman and the rest of them had apologized begrudgingly (perhaps Remus’s morning star aimed menacingly had something to do with that) but their apology couldn’t take away from Logan’s discomfort.
Logan’s mood was always fairly dismal after a transformation. For some time, Remus had assumed that was strictly because his transformations were a very physically and emotionally taxing process, but now he wasn’t so sure. He didn’t want to push things too far. It was strange, Remus exhibiting any kind of restraint. With the rest of them he would never so much as consider the possibility of his words or actions making them uncomfortable. But things were so different with Logan.
Maybe it was mostly because he was his boyfriend and they had only been a couple for a short time. Even someone like Remus could recognize that pushing Logan’s buttons too much would yield poor results, and he certainly didn’t want to jeopardize the relationship. He and Logan had a good thing going and he intended to keep things that way.
Still, seeing the way that Logan sat slumped on the couch with his eyes cast on the carpet, it was clear something needed to be done.
Remus walked into the common room and plopped himself down beside his boyfriend. Logan sighed as he looked up from the ground and locked eyes with Remus.
“Salutations, Remus.”
“Hiya, Nerdy Wolverine. What’s with the long face?” Remus is cautious with how he starts things, knowing he’s probably on thin-ice as it is.
“I don’t know what you mean. I’m perfectly fine.” Remus half expects Janus to rise up and scold his boyfriend considering how bad that lie is.
“Lo, come on. I know something’s wrong. You got those big puppy dog – err, hyena eyes.” The comment makes Logan look even more dejected than before. Well, shit. “Maybe – maybe that wasn’t the best was to phrase things.” Logan shakes his head, exhaling softly and placing a hand in Remus’s. The contact is warm and comforting for Remus and he hopes it’s the same for Logan.
“You don’t need to apologize, Remus. I understand that you’re well-intentioned it’s just…that’s the issue I’m facing.” Remus quirks an eyebrow.
“How do you mean?”
“My…” Logan pauses, struggling through the word, “…transformations. They’ve been causing me a great deal of stress.”
“Why’s that? It’s cool as shit!” Logan shakes his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“I’m glad you don’t think of me as monstrous when it happens. After all, our shapeshifting is supposed to happen voluntarily. I’m not supposed to…lose control. It’s upsetting, becoming such a beast. I’ve never thought of myself in such a way.” Remus offers Logan’s hand a squeeze, hoping it’ll provide some sense of comfort.
“It’s not like you’re the only one who it’s happened to,” Remus points out, “I mean, Patton turned into a big-ass frog when he lost his composure! And I doubt the others think of him any lesser because of that. Do you?”
“Well…of course I don’t. He didn’t mean for it to happen.”
“And neither do you,” Remus says, his lips upturning in a grin, “You don’t mean for it to happen, it just does. Hell, I’ve seen Janus turn into a snake a few times when he loses his cool, not that he’d ever admit it to any of you light sides.” Logan frowns, searching for earnest in Remus’s eyes and, to his surprise, finding it.
“Really? He’s always seemed so composed.”
“Really. And he’s just an itty bitty little snake when he transforms but you? You get all big and strong! And those sharp teeth are fucking awesome! I bet you could even beat Lillypatton’s ass, if you wanted to!”
“But I’m so much more undignified than I’d like to be,” Logan says, embarrassment seeping into his voice, “I’d always imagined myself as a more befitting animal. A crow, for instance. They’re incredibly intelligent birds, but a hyena? Such savage, predatorial animals…”
“Hey, hyenas are smart too! And like I said, it’s so cool that that’s your animal! It’s nice to see you loosen up and get a little feisty! Doesn’t it feel good to go ape-shit for once? To let go of everything and give into the animalistic for once?” Logan goes silent for a moment, considering what Remus is saying.
“Well…I suppose I could say it’s quite exhilarating at times.” Remus’s smile widens, mischievous and gleefully happy.
“Exactly! Do you know how cool it is to have such a badass boyfriend?” Logan blinks at Remus, a small smile settling over his face.
Cool, he thinks, recalling a time not so long ago when Thomas called him that, when even Roman did so, this makes me cool?
“You…you really think so? That my turning into such a beastly thing makes me cool?” Remus’s head bobs in a nod.
“Of course I do! It’s the coolest!” Remus throws his arms around Logan, holding him tight and Logan can’t help but relish the embrace.
The others might look at him with disgust and horror when he transforms, but Remus likes it. Remus has no less respect for him in such a state, in fact, he seems to be quite fond of it. And while Logan is still very much adjusting to this new facet of himself, his boyfriend’s support certainly helps.
“If you say so,” Logan says, melting into his boyfriend’s embrace.
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