Work Text:
I broke my back 'cause
I thought you would too
I'd run in circles
I thought you would too
Life was full of surprises to the point we all just adjust ourselves. Let this thing go with the flow until any thought that’s hurting us would be pushed at the back of our minds, only to reappear on days you wanted to remember it. He had no regrets. He had loved him deeply and he knew he had loved him too.
It’s just how life works.
Iruka smiled gently, the wrinkles on his face became evident the more he fixed himself in front of the mirror. It was just like yesterday when he was fixing his hair for his first day of classes, he remembered it so vividly. He was young, excited, and full of surprises that await him in life.
The surprise he got and accepted was Kakashi Hatake.
A jounin who had somehow not only made its way to Iruka’s veins but also in his heart.
He had loved Kakashi. Still do. But as stated earlier, life was full of surprises.
Iruka recalled those moments where he would spot the jounin waiting for him, either on top of a tree or just outside the hallway. He would greet him with his one eye smile, pull down his mask and kiss him directly on the lips as if he wasn’t scared that other people might catch a glimpse of what he hides inside. He wasn’t and Iruka had loved him more the day he proposed to him.
It was like a dream, very surreal. Kakashi stood by the altar, still dawning that goddamn mask but still looked so handsome.
Iruka coughed, a balled fist came up to cover his mouth. He needed to finish up and go to Naruto’s house or he would be late. He smiled one last time before exiting his room.
Many had changed as time passed by. New people came in their life, some people left, new things, new belongings—but one thing remained was his love for Kakashi. The day Kakashi became Hokage, he was there. He would always be.
He was so proud of him.
Those moments where Kakashi would sneak out just to see him, where he would reprimand him but then succumb to every kiss he gave.
He loved him so much
I never thought twice
'Cause you were my number one
I put you first 'cause
You were my only thought
“Iruka-jiji, you’re here!”
“Of course, wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Boruto Uzumaki had grown up to be such a fine young shinobi, and a fine father. The boy was taller than him, stronger than him, and of course, as handsome as him. He was just that little bundle of joy he as holding with Kakashi at his back cooing and now, Boruto was a man—and soon to be a father.
Iruka hugged the Uzumaki heir and then his wife, who was happily chatting away with their parents.
The house was so full. Laughter and chatters echoed all around but it still felt so empty.
Kakashi’s a quiet man but when he’s with his friends, he could be a chatterbox. He would tell all those silly stories to the kids, sometimes scare them but they’re all aware he meant well.
Kakashi was a perfect grandparent to Naruto’s kids. And also Sakura’s.
“Iruka-sensei,”
“Naruto…” He hugged his boy. The one he treated as his son, the one he had loved like a son. They walked towards a more private area, talking about stuff regarding the upcoming granddaughter, and other stuff. And Iruka couldn’t ask for more because Naruto sounded so happy.
He deserved every happiness in the world.
“I miss him,” Naruto muttered, looking outside the balcony with the moon illuminating down on him. His blue eyes reflected the night before them, and Iruka couldn’t help but remember Kakashi’s gray eyes that held his own universe in them.
Wrinkled and spotted hands covered Naruto’s rough ones. For a moment, Iruka felt embarrassed when Naruto smiled down at him particularly when Naruto put one hand over his shoulder. “He loved you so much, ya’ know,”
“I know,”
And there's no reason to speak badly
We just reached our end
Iruka knew they loved each other. From the flowers he brought every anniversary, for every wound they had tended, from every kiss they had shared everywhere—their love was genuine. Accepted. Perfect.
But life was full of surprises.
They just spent the day yesterday, holding onto each other and whispering promises of eating out together when Kakashi was called for an unexpected mission. He had let him go because he knew Konoha needed him. That Kakashi would return home to him, that Kakashi’s wisdom and guidance in making sure Konoha was safe, that every as safe was needed.
But they took all of him and returned to Iruka in ashes.
It was expected. Kakashi died for them. For him.
But there was still this voice inside his head that wished he should’ve not let him, he should’ve clutched onto his shirt harder but then again, Kakashi wouldn’t be happy. Kakashi had lived to serve and would die serving. Iruka was just happy that in the middle, he’s part of him.
After the talk with Naruto, the memories of Kakashi had flooded his mind. It still hurt. Even after years, it would still. He would never get over that unpredictable jounin, Iruka choses not to.
Now, staring at the mirror again. His face covered in wrinkles, his hand that came up to cup his cheek was dry, with scattered in lines and sunspots littered around. Brown eyes then averted up to where a picture of his handsome Hokage was slipped between the edged of the mirror’s frame.
So handsome and so brave.
Shaky hands grabbed for the photo, examining how young and strong he was to die so bravely for Konoha. This was Kakashi. His Kakashi. The one he planned to spend the rest of his life with but now—
Maybe in another life
Everything worked out alright
And things that made this harder passed us by
Iruka slowly walked towards his bed, Kakashi’s picture still in his hands as he laid down with a sigh. He ran his hand through his short, silver hair. It was funny, he thought, he had his head full of silver now and it made him wonder if Kakashi’s hair would still remain silver—or white. He wanted to see that badly but he knew, it would remain in mind forever.
A tear escaped his eyes, running down his cheeks. The picture still in his hand that was pressed against his chest, hoping and praying wherever Kakashi was, he would hear how his heart had always beat for him.
He was old, his back was hurting and he couldn’t write properly anymore.
He wanted to meet him sooner but he knew he would leave a lot of people hurting.
But that’s how life was. Full of surprises that were either sad or happy.
Kakashi had made his life happy even if it wasn’t an eternity.
Maybe in another life, he could meet him again, and they’ll get to spend their days until they’re old and wrinkly. Iruka smiled at that thought.
Maybe.
As the night reached its peak, Iruka laid awake with Kakashi’s picture by his side. Imagining those pale arms around him and still whispering the same sweet words that were said so much but still not enough.
I love you, Kakashi.
Iruka thought it's okay. That’s how life was. He just wished he could meet him again.
If I don't have you
At least I'll still have me