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Chanhee sighed, as he realized that the familiar itchy, burning sensation across his chest was back. Breaking out in hives wasn’t an unusual thing for Chanhee; his skin had always been sensitive, to the point that his clothes always had to be washed separately from everyone else’s and he couldn’t use anything with any kind of fragrance in it. The hives themselves had only started around the time he had joined SF9, but they hadn’t been able to figure out exactly what triggered them and so he’d ended up just treating the episodes with over the counter medication. The problem, however, was that each time it happened Chanhee’s reactions seemed to get worse. He’d gotten to the point that even the maximum dose he could take at one time wasn’t really enough to completely get rid of his hives at times.
“Chanhee-yah… what are you doing?” Seokwoo asked, as Chanhee knelt next to his bag and dug through it to find the bottle of allergy medication he needed.
“I’m breaking out in hives again…” Chanhee replied, as he finally found the bottle he needed. Chanhee couldn’t help noticing the way his hands were shaking, as he popped open the bottle and poured out two pills. While he knew that it wasn’t going to be enough, Chanhee couldn’t help hoping that he would be able to at least get through the group’s live performance without having to take more than two of the pills. Chanhee could function pretty well on two, but if he took any more than that it would be a struggle for him to stay awake for the remainder of the day.
“Aish… are you going to be okay?” Seokwoo asked, running a hand down Chanhee’s back. Chanhee arched away from the elder man’s touch, as he realized that the hives were spreading across his back too. “Are they on your back, too?”
“Yeah, I think so…” Chanhee replied, as he reached for a bottle of water from the table nearby and downed the pills quickly. He couldn’t help noticing that it was difficult to get them both down, even though Chanhee normally had no issue swallowing two or even three pills at a time. Chanhee stood up to go back to where he had been sitting, but he stopped as his head began to spin from the movement.
“Whoa…” It took Chanhee a moment to realize that Seokwoo was holding him upright, keeping Chanhee from collapsing all the way to the floor. “Yah… Youngbin-hyung, something is wrong with Channie!”
“I’m okay,” Chanhee replied, as Seokwoo lifted him bridal-style and carried him over to the small sofa in their dressing room. The elder man laid him down gently, moving someone’s bag beneath his head like a pillow. “I just got dizzy for a second…” Chanhee began, as Youngbin and Inseong both hurried over to the sofa.
“He was unconscious for a second,” Seokwoo replied, as the leader knelt down and pressed his fingers into the side of Chanhee’s neck to check his pulse. “He’s breaking out in hives, too… he just took the allergy meds for them…”
“Jaeyoon-ah… go get Minsu-hyung,” Youngbin called, turning towards the other men in the room for a second before turning back to Chanhee. “What’s going on, Chanhee-yah? You’re breaking out in hives, you’re dizzy… is there anything else weird happening right now?”
Chanhee felt sick at the man’s words, unsure of why Youngbin seemed to be so upset. “Hyung… you’re scaring me…” Chanhee began.
“Your heart is racing… are you feeling any other symptoms? Anything else strange?” Youngbin asked, stroking a hand through Chanhee’s hair.
“It was hard to swallow the pills…” Chanhee admitted. “My head is kind of starting to hurt, too…”
“What’s going on?” Chanhee turned towards the sound of their manager’s voice as Minsu hurried into the room behind Jaeyoon. “Channie’s sick?”
“He started breaking out in hives, and when he stood up after taking his allergy meds he passed out for a few seconds,” Seokwoo commented.
“His heart is also racing, and he said that he has a headache and he’s having trouble swallowing,” Youngbin added.
“Okay… that’s not good,” the manager replied, checking Chanhee’s pulse again. “Aish… the hives are spreading up his neck, too…”
Chanhee could feel his hands starting to shake, as he realized that this was really bad and he was likely going to be pulled from their performance that afternoon. “I want to perform, hyung…” Chanhee began.
“No… I’m calling it now, we’re pulling you and taking you to get checked out at the hospital,” Minsu replied, shaking his head. “I want you guys to stay with him for now, and keep him laying down. I’m going to go have a PA get us a set medic, so that we can figure out whether or not we need to call an ambulance…”
Chanhee couldn’t help the tears that started to prick at his eyes as their manager left, reaching up to wipe them away with his sleeve in hopes that his hyungs wouldn’t see that he was upset. Unfortunately, they all knew him well enough to know that being pulled was definitely going to upset Chanhee.
“Hey… it’s okay,” Inseong commented, moving to lift Chanhee enough so that the eldest member of the group could sit behind him. Inseong wrapped his arms around Chanhee’s chest, cuddling him from behind. “You’re going to be okay… we’re going to take you to see a doctor, and they’re going to figure out what’s wrong.”
Chanhee could feel his throat starting to itch as they waited for Minsu to come back with one of the set medics for the show, which made him begin to cough.
“Aish… his face is swelling…” Jaeyoon began, running a hand over Chanhee’s cheek.
“Shit…” Chanhee looked up at Juho, as the elder rapper looked down at him. “Shit, someone go find an EpiPen, before his throat closes…”
Chanhee could feel himself beginning to panic at the rapper’s words, as Minsu brought the set medic into the room as Youngkyun ran out to do as Juho had instructed. “What’s going on?” the medic asked.
“He’s having an anaphylactic reaction to something,” Juho replied. “My brother has a peanut allergy… this is exactly what happens when he gets exposed to anything with peanuts in it…”
“What’s he allergic to?” the medic asked, as the man dug through his bag of medical supplies.
“We don’t know,” Inseong replied, squeezing Chanhee just a little tighter. “He’s been breaking out in hives at random for years… we normally just give him over the counter allergy medicine for that, and it clears up in an hour or so…”
“Aish… I don’t have epinephrine in my bag…” the medic began.
“One of our members is already looking for an EpiPen…” Youngbin began.
“I’ll go help look,” Sanghyuk added, hurrying to follow Youngkyun’s lead.
“Let’s get him laying down…” the medic replied, motioning for Inseong to move so that Chanhee could be flat on his back on the couch as the medic began talking into the radio at his shoulder for someone else to call for an ambulance.
“Is he going to be okay?” Inseong asked, stroking a hand through Chanhee’s hair softly. The older man hadn’t moved very far, staying within Chanhee’s line of sight and holding onto one of Chanhee’s hands as the medic worked.
“We’re going to get him to the hospital as quickly as we can… the sooner we can get epinephrine into him, the better,” the medic replied, as he began to check Chanhee’s vital signs.
There was a commotion as Sanghyuk hurried back into the room, holding something in his hand. “VeriVery had an EpiPen!” the elder announced, handing the package over to the medic. Chanhee watched as the man opened one side of the tubes, breaking off a blue cap from one end of the pen before quickly pushing the orange end into Chanhee’s leg as he held the limb still. The click that accompanied the needle entering Chanhee’s skin made him jump slightly, although the medic didn’t let the needle move out of Chanhee’s leg for a brief moment. Chanhee was just thankful that he had Inseong’s hand to squeeze, given how shocked he was by the sensation.
“It’ll probably take a minute for that to kick in, but it’ll at least keep his throat from swelling shut,” the medic commented, when he finally pulled the needle out of Chanhee’s leg. “For now, just try to stay calm, okay, Chanhee-ssi? You’re going to be fine.”
“Okay… what else do we need to do?” Inseong asked.
“We just have to keep him calm and laying down right now… the medication should relieve his symptoms, and we have a backup if he starts to get worse again,” the medic replied, as he began to set up the oxygen he had brought with him and placed the mask over Chanhee’s face to help him breathe. It became easier as the medication kicked in, allowing Chanhee to relax. “How are you feeling, Chanhee-yah?”
“Better…” Chanhee managed, closing his eyes for a moment. “Still itchy…”
“That’ll take a little while to go away, as bad as your reaction was. But as long as you’re breathing better, that’s okay,” the medic replied.
***
Chanhee smiled as he saw Seokwoo and Youngbin peeking through the curtain around his bed, glad to see someone other than the doctors and nurses that had been in and out of the area the whole day. “They let you guys come visit?” he asked, as Seokwoo moved to occupy the empty space next to Chanhee in the bed.
“We may have had to beg Minsu-hyung to at least let a couple of us come visit… and we were the ones that won rock-paper-scissors,” Youngbin replied, smiling at Chanhee as Seokwoo adjusted his position so that the group’s resident giant could cuddle Chanhee against his chest like a child. “How are you feeling?”
“Tired,” Chanhee replied. “It took them a while to get the allergic reaction under control… and they’re still trying to figure out what triggered it.”
“You didn’t eat anything weird this morning?” Seokwoo asked.
Chanhee shook his head. “I had the same thing you guys did for breakfast… an egg sandwich and orange juice,” he replied. “We eat the same thing at least three or four times a week when we promote…”
“And nothing in yours tasted any different?” Youngbin asked, obviously just as confused as everyone else seemed to be by what had happened. Chanhee shook his head. “Can you just develop allergies to something? Is that even a thing?”
“You know, he broke out in hives the other day when we had the egg sandwiches for breakfast, too…” Seokwoo began. “It wasn’t this bad, but he was covered in hives for a couple of hours even with the medication he always takes…”
Chanhee sat up a little straighter. “I had coffee that morning instead of orange juice, but hyung is right… I think I’ve broken out in hives every time we’ve had the sandwiches recently…” Chanhee replied, turning towards Seokwoo. “Aish… maybe it’s eggs? It happened with the fried rice last week, too…”
“Okay… we should tell your doctor that it might be eggs,” Youngbin commented, nodding and looking at his phone to make a note of what they’d just figured out.
“I guess they’ll have to test you, to see if we’re right…” Seokwoo began.
Chanhee wrinkled his nose at the idea. “They want to do allergy tests tomorrow, before they release me in case I have another really bad reaction…” Chanhee began, closing his eyes. “They have to make a bunch of scratches on my back, and then put allergens on the scratches to see what reacts…”
“Aigoo… our poor baby…” Youngbin commented, being purposely overdramatic. Chanhee rolled his eyes at the leader, although he couldn’t help smiling slightly at the ridiculousness of the man’s reaction.
“So they’re definitely keeping you overnight?” Seokwoo asked, stroking his hand through Chanhee’s hair.
“Yeah… I’m still on Benadryl right now, because the hives started again when the meds started to wear off,” Chanhee explained. “But I can’t have any more Benadryl tonight if they’re going to do the allergy test in the morning. So I may just have to deal with the hives if they start up again…”
Seokwoo pulled Chanhee a little closer. “It’s too bad none of us can stay with you tonight, to try and keep your mind off things…” Seokwoo commented.
“It’s okay…” Chanhee replied, shaking his head. “It’s just one night, anyway. And hopefully they’ll figure out what’s going on and this will be the last time I have to deal with the hives…”
“Whatever they say, I want you to ask for a prescription for your own EpiPens,” Youngbin commented. “That was terrifying, watching you struggle to breathe… I don’t know what we would have done if it wasn’t for VeriVery having epinephrine and the set medic knowing how to use it.”
“And I think everyone needs to learn how to use it,” Seokwoo added.
Chanhee nodded slowly. “Yeah… I think that you’re both right about that,” Chanhee replied. “I don’t think it’s just eggs, either… I’ve never had a reaction that intense before…” Chanhee closed his eyes, sighing. “I know that I shouldn’t be scared…”
“Yah… you have every right to be scared,” Seokwoo reassured, squeezing Chanhee’s shoulders gently. “Seriously, as scary as it was for all of us, I can’t imagine what it must have been like to actually be the one dealing with all of that…”
Chanhee closed his eyes, taking the deepest breath he could manage and doing his best to calm himself down. His hands began to shake as it really began to hit him just how close he had been to the possibility of death. “Fuck… fuck, I could have died…” Chanhee whispered, as tears began to sting at his eyes. He buried his face in Seokwoo’s shoulder, trying to calm himself down before Chanhee ended up in a full-blown panic attack.
“You’re okay… we got you the epinephrine in time, and once we know what you’re allergic to we’ll be able to keep you away from those things,” Youngbin reassured. “This is going to be okay, Chanhee-yah. It sucks that you have severe allergies, but it’s not the end of the world. We can handle this.”
Chanhee nodded, reaching up to wipe away the tears. “Thank you, hyung.”
***
“Did you eat?” Chanhee looked up from his computer as Jaeyoon sat down next to him, clearly exhausted. Chanhee hadn’t been released from the hospital until early afternoon, meaning that he’d missed the entire day of promotions. Not that he would have been able to perform if he had gotten out any earlier; Chanhee had still been on pretty high doses of Benadryl almost all day, thanks to the bad reactions he’d had to some of the allergens when he’d been tested that morning. Although he hadn’t had another anaphylactic reaction, thankfully, Chanhee had been pretty uncomfortable for most of the day.
“One of the managers brought me dinner earlier,” Chanhee replied, closing his laptop and leaning into the older man. “It was probably a pain in the ass for him to find anything I could eat… I apparently have way more allergies than I though was even possible…”
“How bad?” Jaeyoon asked, starting to gently stroke Chanhee’s hair.
“Eggs. Citrus fruit. Dairy. There’s a whole list…” Chanhee replied, shaking his head. “I have my own EpiPens now… manager-hyung took one set, and there’s a set for me to keep in my backpack. They also gave us a few trainers, so that I can teach you guys how to use it in case I’m not able to do it myself…”
“You mean…” Jaeyoon began, clearly uncomfortable with the implication.
“If somehow I don’t catch a reaction in time, and you guys find me struggling to breathe,” Chanhee replied. “Or if I’m too panicked to do it myself… apparently that’s a thing that can happen.”
Jaeyoon nodded slowly. “Okay… so where are they? The trainers, I mean. I want to learn,” Jaeyoon replied. Chanhee sat up, raising an eyebrow. “Seriously, teach me. If you’re going to be rehearsing and performing again soon, then we need to make sure that you’re never the only person in the room capable of giving yourself these shots…”
“Yeah… yeah, okay,” Chanhee replied, getting up and heading over to the bag that had been left on the counter in the kitchen. While the actual medication had all been taken out and put into the appropriate bags, they had decided to leave all of the trainers in the bag just for this purpose. Chanhee brought one of them back to the couch, holding it out for Jaeyoon to take. “This one doesn’t have a needle or anything in it, so it won’t do anything. It’s supposed to go in my thigh, just like the set medic did it the other day with the real thing.”
Jaeyoon nodded. “Okay. In your thigh, got it.”
Chanhee sat back down next to the older man, watching as Jaeyoon looked over the device in his hand. “Okay… so the first thing you need to do is pop off the blue cap on top. On the real thing, that cap is what prevents it from working before it’s actually needed,” Chanhee explained. “Then you’ll hold my leg still, and push the orange end against my thigh. You have to do it kind of hard, because the pressure is what will trigger the needle.”
“So… I pretty much just stab you with this thing?” Jaeyoon asked.
“Basically, I guess…” Chanhee replied. “Do it.”
Jaeyoon looked surprised. “So… it won’t hurt you if I try it, right?”
“There’s no medicine in there,” Chanhee explained, shaking his head. “It isn’t going to do anything to me - this is seriously just so that you can learn how to do it in case the situation ever comes up. Worst case scenario, you might leave a bruise… but I’d rather get a few bruises and not die from my throat closing up on me.”
Jaeyoon nodded, before removing the blue cap from the trainer and setting up to actually try it for himself. Chanhee adjusted the older man’s grip slightly on the device, before nodding to indicate that he was ready for Jaeyoon to just do it.
Chanhee smiled as he heard the device click, indicating that the older man had done it properly. “Okay… once it clicks, that means the needle is in. You have to leave it for ten seconds, to make sure that the medication actually gets delivered,” Chanhee replied. “If you ever have to actually give me one of these shots, while you’re doing this someone else should be calling an ambulance. The pen is only meant to hold off the reaction until I can get medical attention. And they come in sets of two, just in case the first dose isn’t enough to halt the reaction or if it takes a long time for the ambulance to arrive.”
“So you have two of the real thing in your bag?” Jaeyoon asked.
“Yeah… and the managers will have a set of two. If we can get the doctor to write the prescription for more, we’re going to try and have a set to keep at the company building, and maybe a set for you guys to carry if we go somewhere without the managers on a day off or while we’re touring,” Chanhee explained. “The idea is for me to always have a set within ten feet or so… the faster we can get the meds into my system, the better.”
“So… does this replace the allergy pills you’ve always carried? Or will you still have both?” Jaeyoon asked.
“These are just for really bad reactions, like the one I had yesterday,” Chanhee replied, shaking his head. “I’ll still take the Benadryl first, if it starts out as just hives or something like that. There are still going to be reactions that I can manage without going to the hospital… I’m allergic to cats, too, but that wasn’t really all that severe. And I’ve never really had more than a runny nose around Juho-hyung’s cats.”
Jaeyoon nodded, obviously relaxing at Chanhee’s explanation. “Okay… and I can give you the shot even after you’ve taken the Benadryl? It won’t cause any issues?”
“No… not at all. The set medic gave me that one yesterday when I’d already taken two Benadryl,” Chanhee replied. “There are side effects… but some of them are kind of hard to distinguish from the symptoms I was already having due to the allergic reaction, so I’m not sure what was actually from the shot.”
“As long as it works, that’s all that matters… everything else, we can figure out.”