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Junhyuk smiled at the sound tech as the man finished helping him hook up his headset mic for their rehearsal slot. “Kamsahamnida,” he commented, bowing to the man before he moved on to the next person.
The music shows were always a little nerve-wracking for Junhyuk; they were rookies, and that meant that they were being judged even more than their sunbae groups. Doing well - putting on strong performances, not making major mistakes, being polite to the staff - could make a huge difference in where the producers placed their performances on the schedule, as well as whether or not they would be given the opportunity to perform a B-track at all with their next album. Junhyuk didn’t want to be the reason that they weren’t given as many opportunities as possible.
“Want to go watch Stray Kids sunbaenims from the side stage?” Minjae asked, putting an arm around Junhyuk’s shoulders.
Junhyuk nodded, smiling. “Yeah… can we do that?”
“We’re just going to watch from the sidelines - out of the way,” Minjae replied, shaking his head. “They can’t really get mad at us for watching, right? It’s a rehearsal, not the actual performance.” Junhyuk nodded, letting his hyung lead him over towards the stairs to the stage so that they could watch the older group’s final run-through before their own rehearsal began.
The music began blasting through the studio as they climbed up the stairs to the side of the stage, keeping far enough back so that they wouldn’t be caught by the cameras even during rehearsal. If it had been the actual performance they never would have dared to be up there, but it didn’t really seem to be a big deal given the fact that it was just being run for camera angles. Junhyuk couldn’t help being impressed by the intense, racing choreography happening on the stage. Everything was fine up until the chorus, when the stage lighting suddenly changed over to a fast, strobing effect in multiple colors.
As soon as Junhyuk saw the lights change, he knew that he was going to be in trouble. Seizures had been a part of Junhyuk’s life almost since birth. As a baby, his doctors had thought he would outgrow the seizures as he got older. Unfortunately, that hadn’t been the case for Junhyuk; if anything, his seizures had gotten worse with age. Junhyuk was just thankful for the medication that stopped the majority of his seizures, making it possible for him to actually live a relatively normal life. As long as they had the dosage right, Junhyuk didn’t have to worry about seizures unless something triggered one. While his seizures had been under control again since the incident in the practice room a few months earlier, there were certain things that were still decidedly not a good idea - and strobing lights were definitely on the list of “no-go” things for their own videos and performances. Junhyuk really hadn’t thought about the fact that some of the other groups they were performing alongside might use them.
Junhyuk could feel his body starting to react to the lights before he could close his eyes and turn away from the lights. Minjae seemed to realize what was going on quickly, too - thankfully, Junhyuk’s hyungs knew what might trigger another episode - and the older boy was quick to move between Junhyuk and the lights and pull Junhyuk’s face against his chest to try and protect him. Unfortunately, Junhyuk’s aura had already started and he could feel his right arm starting to jerk uncontrollably at his side.
“It’s okay, Junhyukkie… I’m here,” Minjae commented, rubbing Junhyuk’s back as the strange, roaring sound began rising in his ears - usually the last thing Junhyuk remembered before the seizure hit fully.
Junhyuk’s whole body was heavy and sore as he began to come around, realizing that he was laying on the floor with his head resting on someone’s thigh as the person rubbed small circles on his back as a comforting gesture. Junhyuk couldn’t really remember what had happened as the roaring in his ears began to subside, but he could hear shouting and people rushing around near him as he began to slowly come around from the seizure.
“Aish… is he okay? What happened?” an unfamiliar voice asked, as Junhyuk felt someone else gently taking his hand to check his pulse. Junhyuk could tell that the person was distressed by what was going on, and Junhyuk vaguely recognized the voice although he couldn’t quite place it. Junhyuk was just too tired to actually try and figure out who was there with him.
“He’s had a seizure, sunbaenim…” Minjae began. “It wasn’t that long, and he’s breathing okay. One of the PAs went to get a set medic to check him out…”
“Seizure… aish, is he epileptic?” the unfamiliar voice asked.
“His seizures are usually under control… he had a pretty bad one a couple of months ago, but he’s been stable since they increased his medication,” Minjae replied. “He’s photosensitive… we were trying to watch your rehearsal, but we didn’t realize that the lights would be like that…”
“The lights… they triggered it?” a different unknown voice asked.
“I think so. We’ve been making sure that he takes his medication, so I know that he took it today,” Minjae replied, as he continued rubbing Junhyuk’s back. “We didn’t react fast enough when it started…”
“Is there anything we can do right now?” someone asked, as Junhyuk finally managed to force his eyes to slowly open. He had to blink a few times to get his vision to clear, although he didn’t move because he was just too tired. It took a moment for him to register the fact that there were several members of Stray Kids kneeling around them, and Junhyuk tried to force himself to sit up so that he could try to bow at the older men.
“Hey… hey, it’s okay,” Bang Chan commented, as the other group’s leader grabbed Junhyuk by the elbow to make sure that he didn’t fall over as he tried to sit up. “Just relax, okay? We’re not going to think you’re rude if you don’t greet us properly right now.”
“Come here, aegi,” Minjae commented, moving so that he was right behind Junhyuk. “Lean against me, okay? Just rest.”
“How are you feeling, Junhyuk-ssi?” Junhyuk was surprised to find out that Lee Know knew his name, although he couldn’t get the words out of his mouth to actually respond to the question. All he could really get out was a low grunt, and even that took far more effort than it probably should have.
“He probably needs a little more time, hyung…” Felix commented, from where he was standing a couple of feet away. “It always takes my sister a little while to be coherent enough to answer questions after a seizure, and hers aren’t even that bad… I think that’s pretty normal with seizures…”
“Guys… I need to get through,” a new voice commented. Junhyuk watched as a PA and the set medic pushed through the small group of people surrounding him, followed closely by Seongjun; it was clear that their leader hadn’t been aware that anything was wrong until the medic arrived. “What happened here?”
“He’s epileptic. We were watching Stray Kids sunbaenims rehearse, and I think the lights might have triggered a seizure,” Minjae explained, as the set medic began to check Junhyuk’s vitals. “It was short, and he woke up pretty quickly afterwards. But he’s still not quite fully recovered…”
“It takes him a little while to be able to talk and respond after a seizure,” Seongjun added. Junhyuk could see the members of Stray Kids talking amongst themselves, before most of the group began to disperse. Only Lee Know stayed, although Junhyuk could see Bang Chan heading across the stage to talk to one of the directors rather than following the rest of the group off the stage platform.
“Okay… he’s medicated for his seizures?” the medic asked, as he listened to Junhyuk’s heart and lungs.
“Tegretol XR. 500 milligrams, twice a day. 1000 total,” Seongjun recited. “He was just put on that dose about ten weeks ago, after a breakthrough seizure in our practice room. He hasn’t had any other seizure activity that we’ve seen since the dosage change.”
The set medic nodded. “And you said the lights might have caused it?” the man asked Minjae.
“They were strobing for a few seconds…” Minjae explained. “We didn’t know the lights were going to do that, or I never would have suggested coming up here to watch. He’s had seizures triggered by flashing lights when he was a kid, so we normally avoid anything like that in our own stages…”
“It’s okay, Jae-yah,” Seongjun reassured. “You kept him safe, and you got someone to go for help. You did everything right.”
“Your leader is right - he definitely needs some time to rest and recover, but his vitals are good and I’m not seeing anything concerning,” the set medic replied. “It’s pretty obvious what happened here… unless his condition deteriorates or he has another seizure, I’m comfortable letting you just take him back to the dressing room to rest while your manager decides whether or not he’s going to be allowed to perform. I’ll talk to the production staff about getting your rehearsal moved so that he can have a bit of time to recover.”
“Our dressing room is more private… if you’d like, we can take him down there instead,” Lee Know suggested, as Seongjun moved to help Junhyuk to his feet so that the two older members could help Junhyuk back to their own dressing room to lay down and rest.
“We couldn’t impose like that, sunbaenim,” Seongjun protested, as he let Junhyuk lean against him while Minjae stood up.
“We have a sofa, where he can actually lay down for a little while,” Lee Know replied. “I remember those smaller rooms, where they have way too many people crammed into those tiny cubicles. You guys don’t have a good place for him to lay down, do you?”
“He’s right, hyung…” Minjae began softly, as he put an arm around Junhyuk’s waist to make sure that he didn’t lose his balance. “It’s so loud, too… you know he always has a headache after a seizure…”
“We’re probably closer, too,” Lee Know added, reaching out to offer Junhyuk his arm. “Really… it’s okay. We want to help.”
Actually getting down from the stage ended up being more difficult than Junhyuk had expected, as his brain didn’t quite seem to want to move his feet the way it was supposed to. Junhyuk wasn’t all that concerned; he’d gone longer without being able to get his body to cooperate after a seizure, and it was just the stairs that seemed to be giving him issues. Thankfully, Minjae was quick to realize what was happening and the strongest of Junhyuk’s hyungs picked him up bridal-style to carry him down the stairs.
Junhyuk wanted to protest when Minjae didn’t put him down immediately, but his voice still wasn’t working, and all he managed to get out was an unintelligible grunting noise. “I’m not putting you down. You need to rest, and it’s not that far,” Minjae replied, as he continued following Lee Know down the hallway.
Stray Kids had a fairly nice, if small, dressing room to themselves. Junhyuk couldn’t help noticing the way the members hurried to clear off the one sofa as Lee Know motioned for Minjae to place Junhyuk there. “It isn’t the most comfortable sofa, but it’ll be better than a mat on the floor,” the elder commented, grabbing a hoodie and creating a makeshift pillow that he slid under Junhyuk’s head as Minjae laid him down. “Try to get some rest, okay? He can stay here until he’s feeling better, or until your manager decides what to do about the performance today.”
“Thank you, sunbaenim… we really appreciate what you’re doing for us,” Seongjun commented. “I need to go check in with our managers, and see what they think we need to do.”
***
Junhyuk was exhausted by the end of their day. Their managers had decided to let him perform once Junhyuk had reassured them that he was feeling better after an hour or so of laying down in the Stray Kids dressing room. He had felt a little awkward about leaving while the members of their sunbae group had been out doing their own pre-recording, and Junhyuk hadn’t really had an opportunity to properly thank the group between all of the rushing around to get everything settled for their delayed rehearsal and everything that went along with having a live performance that nearly got cancelled at the last second. It had been a stressful mess, and Junhyuk had spent most of the time they weren’t actively rehearsing sleeping in the only decent chair in their own dressing room so that he wouldn’t be in the way for their sunbaes.
Their managers had also managed to get the company to cancel the rest of their schedules for the day after everything that had happened, so that they could go home sooner and let Junhyuk rest. Their schedules had always been a bit lighter than most other groups, between the fact that three of them were still minors and subject to work restrictions and the fact that not getting enough sleep could potentially make Junhyuk’s epilepsy worse. The company had always been careful to schedule them in such a way to make the most of that limited time, so it had been a bit of a surprise for them to have things removed from that week’s schedules completely.
“I’ve got your bag, Junhyukkie,” Huijun commented, as they were collecting their personal possessions on the way out of the television studio. “Still feeling okay?”
Junhyuk nodded, smiling. “Just really tired, like usual,” Junhyuk replied. “I’ll be fine tomorrow, once I’ve had the chance to sleep and take care of myself.”
“We’ll let you get the first shower tonight, so that you can go to bed early,” Seungmin commented, as the elder man began to guide him out towards the hallway. “At least you don’t have to go to school tomorrow, since we’re performing again. You’ll have more time to finish your homework…”
Junhyuk groaned. “Please don’t remind me about homework… I have a test in history class on Monday that I haven’t even started to study for,” he replied.
“We’ll look over your notes tomorrow in the dressing room. I bet if you texted Dohyon-ah, he’d send you pictures of his own notes, too,” Seungmin replied. Junhyuk nodded, checking to make sure that his phone was actually in his pocket where it was supposed to be.
“Let’s get going, guys… I want to get Junhyuk-ah home early, so that we don’t have a repeat of today’s excitement because you guys are all overtired,” their manager commented, as the man came back in from making a phone call in the hallway. “Does everyone have all of their stuff?”
There was a general murmur of assent, as they all moved out of the way to let their manager grab his own bag so that they could leave. Before their manager could even finish checking to make sure that everything was packed up and ready to go, Junhyuk heard someone knocking on the partition that separated their area from the other groups they’d shared a dressing room with. “Sunbaenim?” Junhyuk looked up at Huijun’s comment, bowing quickly along with his hyungs as they realized that Bang Chan and Felix were standing at the entrance to their cubicle.
“We’re sorry to disturb you guys… we just wanted to stop by and check on Junhyuk-ssi…” Felix began. “We didn’t see you guys again after we had to go perform, and we didn’t really have a chance to talk during the finale…”
“I’m fine, sunbaenim… a little tired, but nothing to worry about,” Junhyuk replied, smiling at the men. “I just need to make sure I sleep tonight, and I should be fine tomorrow.”
“This is only the second seizure we’ve seen him have… things are usually pretty well controlled,” Seongjun added. “They upped his anticonvulsants last time, because we didn’t know of anything that might have triggered it…”
“You’re what… sixteen?” Felix asked.
“Seventeen,” Junhyuk replied.
Felix nodded, clearly thinking for a moment. “Yeah… you’re about the same age as my sister, and she’s had the same issue with needing more medication recently,” Felix replied.
“His doctor said it was pretty normal last time,” Seongjun replied, nodding. “He’d been on the same dosage for a while, and it was apparently pretty low to begin with. We were hoping that would be the end of it, but that didn’t really account for the fact that he’s had photosensitive seizures in the past…”
“We really want to apologize for everything that happened earlier,” Bang Chan commented, shaking his head. “If we’d realized what was happening, we never would have let our staff use those lights…”
“It really wasn’t your fault,” Junhyuk replied, shaking his head. “It’s just one of those things that happens sometimes…”
“But our staff should have known that light sequence wasn’t a good idea,” bang Chan replied, shaking his head. “If it was enough to set off a seizure for you, then it would definitely have set off someone watching at home. We don’t wan anyone to have to deal with something like that… we made them fix it before our stage today, and they’re reevaluating all of the lighting for the rest of our promotions to make sure there aren’t any other issues.”
“Thank you, sunbaenim,” Junhyuk replied, bowing to the older men.
“We should be thanking you - if you hadn’t come to watch our rehearsal, there could have potentially been a lot of people affected by those lights,” Felix replied.
“This all could have been much worse than it was, honestly,” Bang Chan replied. “If there’s anything we can do for you guys…”
“It’s fine, really,” Junhyuk replied, shaking his head. “I’m not hurt, or anything like that. I really just need some rest, and I’ll be fine.”
The two older men nodded, although they didn’t look completely convinced by his words. “We should let you go, then,” Bang Chan replied, bowing as Felix followed suit.
“Thank you again, for helping us out earlier,” Seongjun added, as their whole group bowed in return to their seniors. “I don’t know that he would have been able to perform if he hadn’t been able to rest for a little while.”
“We’re just glad that everything ended up being okay,” Felix replied. “It was nice to get to meet you guys, even if it wasn’t really under the best circumstances. We’ll see you guys tomorrow, right?”
“We’re still promoting for another week,” Seongjun replied, nodding in confirmation. “Hopefully next time we get to talk, it won’t have to be about Junhyukkie’s epilepsy.”