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Guillermo swayed on his feet. It had been a long night that had nearly ended in disaster when Nandor ran into one of his exes. One of his ex wives to be precise. It appeared that he wasn't the only one in his country to have been turned. Nandor added insult to injury by first not recognizing her and then blurting out that she hadn't been one of the 35 wives that he actually loved. It took Guillermo intervening with well-chosen words to diffuse the situation. They parted ways with relatively no bloodshed, but Guillermo had gotten an offer to "upgrade his position," if he ever got tired of Nandor. He pretended to consider it, if only to savor the jealous glare on Nandor's face.
Most nights now, Nandor prepared for his slumber alone, but the shock of seeing someone from his human past had shaken him. As dawn approached, they fell into the comfort of their old nightly routine. First Guillermo carefully brushed the tangles out of Nandor's hair, using the familiar exercise as an excuse to run his fingers through Nandor's soft locks. Things had become strained between them since the events at the theater and Guillermo missed how tactile Nandor had once been with him.
"Guillermo, did you go nighty-night?" Nandor said suddenly. Guillermo shook himself, realizing that he nodded off.
"Sorry," he said with a yawn, bending down to pick up the brush he dropped.
"Are you getting enough rest?" Nandor scolded. "I can't have you falling asleep on me! It's not--" he paused, glancing around the room.
Safe, Guillermo realized. It's not safe if I fall asleep when an assassin could strike, he thought to himself.
"Well it would be highly inconvenient!" Nandor finished, only a slight tremble in his hand betraying his fear.
"It won't happen again," Guillermo promised.
"See that it doesn't," Nandor said haughtily, tugging at his cape. He walked over to his coffin and held out his hand. Guillermo helped him into the coffin with another stifled yawn.
"Good night, Guillermo," Nandor murmured, folding his arms across his chest.
"Love you," Guillermo mumbled.
"What did you just say?" Nandor asked, pulling himself into a seated position. His hand rested on the edge of the coffin, not quite reaching for Guillermo.
The realization of what he had just said hit Guillermo like an Al Quolanudarian pillow. He quickly slammed down the lid of the coffin and fled the room.
"OW!" Nandor shouted as the lid crushed his fingers. "You crushed my fingers, Guillermo!"
But Guillermo didn't hear him. He sprinted down the stairs and nearly ran into Colin Robinson.
The energy vampire's face was frozen in rictus glee. He turned to Guillermo, eyes flashing blue.
Guillermo didn't stop to acknowledge him, his mind too busy panicking to focus on anything else.
"Accidental love confessions are a real treat," Colin Robinson would later tell the documentary crew. "It's like eating an entire chocolate cake but without the tooth decay or stomachache. It's that perfect blend of awkwardness, embarrassment, and panic." He looked over his glasses between the man holding the camera and the boom operator. "Hey, Dave, anything you want to tell Cheryl there?"
In his room, Guillermo held his pillow to his chest and tried not to hyperventilate. He probably should have just stayed and played it off. Running away made it harder to explain away what he said. He whimpered into the pillow, hoping that maybe, just maybe, Nandor would let it drop.
"Guillermo!" Nandor shouted from somewhere outside the room. Guillermo sighed. Of course he wouldn't just drop it.
"Guillermo!" he said again, yanking open the curtain that served as the door to Guillermo's room.
Guillermo buried his face in his hands and refused to look at him.
"That was very rude of you, dropping the lid of my coffin onto my hand!" Nandor held up his hand, which looked relatively unharmed. "It is only because of my supernatural healing that my fingers aren't broken!"
Guillermo winced and mumbled an apology.
"I didn't hear you, what was that?"
Guillermo dragged his hands away from his face and stared resolutely at the floor. "I said, I'm sorry for shutting your fingers in your coffin."
"Better," Nandor sniffed. "It is also not very nice to say things you do not mean."
Guillermo's eyes widened behind his glasses. "What?"
"That thing you said, before you crushed my hand," Nandor dramatically shook his hand to emphasize the injury. "I know you were probably thinking about that Armani guy--"
Guillermo scrambled to figure out who Nandor was talking about. "Armand?" he offered.
"Yes, that is what I said. The one from the movie about interviewing vampires. Don't interrupt! This isn't easy for me," he added more quietly.
Guillermo fell silent.
"As I was saying, before you interrupted me, I know you were thinking about someone else when you said the thing that you said, but that wasn't nice to say that to someone who might," Nandor paused, an expression on his face like he had just swallowed a live mouse. "Feel that way about you," he finished, the words coming out in an odd staccato.
"What?" Guillermo wheezed.
"I will not repeat myself!" Nandor tucked in his shoulders, looking like he might bolt at any moment.
Guillermo stood up slowly, Nandor eyeing him like a caged beast. "Why would you think that I would feel that way about anyone else?" he asked gently.
"Because! You left me, twice, even when I gave you all the things you asked for!"
Guillermo took a deep breath and released it slowly.
"You also hid things from me!" Nandor continued. "You're not just descended from piñata farmers, you are also a vampire killer." He snarled, pulling himself back up to his full height.
Guillermo glared at him. "Yes, fine, so I hid that from you, but I only did that to protect you!" His voice rose with his anger and frustration. "I knew if anyone found out that I had been killing vampires, you would have to kill me. Or you'd be killed. Or maybe both! And look what happened! You were nearly beheaded by the fucking Vampiric Council, because of me!"
"Language, Guillermo!" Nandor tutted. Of course that's what he would latch onto. A curse word, of course he'd ignore everything else and focus on that.
Guillermo tugged at his hair and gestured helplessly at Nandor. "How could you not understand why I did all of that? Why I came running, running! when I realized the play was a trap?"
Nandor blinked, the rusted gears of his mind slowly turning. "You want to protect me?"
"Yes! I do! I definitely didn't come back here for the five star accommodations."
The sarcasm flew over Nandor's head. "I thought you just wanted to look cool, you know, like one of those mall security guards."
Guillermo shrieked behind his gritted teeth. This wasn't how he ever imagined the moment where he and Nandor admitted their tender feelings for one another. "I want to protect you because for some deranged reason, I am hopelessly and and utterly in love with you, ok? So I meant it when I said it earlier. I wasn't thinking of Armand or anyone else. Just you. Always you," he breathed, chest heaving from his rant.
Nandor stood staring at him, speechless.
"Um," Guillermo said when the quiet moment had gone from tender to awkward. "Okay, well. You should probably go up now, before the sun rises," he said, fiddling with a loose thread on his sweater.
Suddenly there was a blur as Nandor swooped down and pulled Guillermo into a bone-crushing hug.
"I am glad you are here to protect us, Guillermo," he said softly.
Guillermo gasped for breath.
"Oops," Nandor said, releasing him. Guillermo shook his head, smiling as he initiated another hug, albeit a less oxygen-depriving one. Nandor buried his nose in Guillermo's hair and sighed. "Though I didn't care for your tone, I am glad that you feel the same way as I do."
Guillermo simply rolled his eyes, not bothering to dignify him with a response.
They stayed that way for a few moments longer before Nandor reluctantly pulled away. "It will be dawn soon," he said quietly. "I am very tired, Guillermo. Do you think you could help me? Maybe without breaking my fingers?" Nandor asked with a slightly nervous grin.
Guillermo simply nodded and followed Nandor up to his crypt. Nandor reached out and grabbed Guillermo's hand as they climbed the stairs, only letting go when he was settled in his coffin.
"Good night, Guillermo," he said, mirroring the events from earlier.
"Good night," Guillermo replied with a small smile. "I love you."
Nandor ducked his head. "Me too," he said shyly. "You will be here when I get up?"
Feeling bold, Guillermo leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Nandor's forehead. "Always," he murmured, before gently closing the coffin.
There were a lot of issues they had to work out, and he knew it would take a very long time to untangle them all, but at least this time they were starting out on the same page.
--End--