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2020-06-24
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2020-07-05
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not another high school au

Summary:

When Katara convinces Sokka to audition for the school play, he assumes she's being a good sister, encouraging his interests. Then he starts to suspect her of wanting to distract him from whatever secret she and Toph are keeping that makes them dart to opposite ends of the room whenever Sokka enters. Distractions seem to be going around. Will Suki be able to lead the football team to victory when she's been missing practice to hang out with a certain cheerleader? If Katara wanted to keep Sokka distracted, it's working, if maybe not in the way she planned. Sokka can't seem to keep from obsessing over a certain frenemy and castmate.

Sokka isn't the only one having trouble focusing on playing his part. Zuko never wanted to hurt Azula. He'd just wanted to escape. Then it started to look like he might have a chance at something more - something like a home and even happiness. Ty Lee has always been at Azula's side, but she's starting to wonder if friendship with Azula is worth giving up the person she wants to be. Will Ty Lee be able to find happiness - maybe even form a healthy relationship with a certain football player - without abandoning her oldest and scariest friend?

Notes:

This is my first attempt at ATLA fanfic. Like many others, I've only discovered the series since it was put on Netflix & I haven't been able to keep it off my mind since. The original title was 'I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you' but tbh I just called it that 'cause whenever I can't think of a good title I choose random song lyrics but on my desktop, it's titled 'not an atla high school au' which, paired with the stereotypical high school rom-com vibe at parts, led me to a better title lol :D

ANYWAY

this fic was inspired by a post by stripedturtlenecksweater on Tumblr

I do my best to proofread but I don't have a beta & I'm doing my best so go easy lol

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: stage fright

Chapter Text

"You got this. Breathe."

Right. Breathing. The thing Sokka had been doing since birth with no problems, thank you very much. Except how the hell did a person breathe?

"Breathe in and count to five while you do it. Then exhale and count to five." Good thing Katara always knew what to say.

"Okay. One, two-"

"In your head, Sokka," Katara said. From some people, that might have come off as harsh, or sarcastic, but not from Katara. It was always very clear when Katara was being harsh. Like the next words she said, which, thankfully, were not directed at Sokka. "Ugh, look who's here." Sokka followed his sister's gaze.

He frowned. Zuko was sitting alone towards the front. Great. Just what Sokka needed right now, for Jerkface to be in the audience.

He and Katara were sitting towards the back of the auditorium in folding chairs. The auditorium was almost empty, with only a handful of other kids sitting scattered throughout, waiting for the auditions for the school play to start. The student population's general lack of interest in the play was something Sokka had been counting on. He wouldn't have let Katara talk him into this if he thought there was going to be more of an interest in the drama department than usual.

And Zuko's presence was drawing a lot of eyes, although he just stared ahead like he didn't notice.

What the hell was Zuko doing here? Sokka had pegged him for more the 'beat up theatre kids in the alley after school' than the 'watch auditions' type. It wasn't like he could get away with mocking them while Mr. Pakku watched. Oh shit, what if he wanted to secretly record so he could mock Sokka later? Breathing was starting to become difficult again.

Sokka knew three basic things about Zuko, and none of them were good. One, Zuko was Azula's little brother. Being related to the scariest person Sokka had ever met would've been enough to make him worth steering clear of. Then there was the second thing. Zuko had been in and out of juvie last year. During the few weeks of Sokka's freshman year – Zuko's Sophomore year – that Zuko had been in school on and off, he'd gotten in fights and ended up in ISS more often than not. Now, as of the fall semester, he was back. The third thing that Sokka knew about Zuko was that he'd once tried to start a fight with Aang. That third thing was the one that made him grit his teeth upon seeing the guy.

He was distracted by a very firm and painful elbow in his side. "You didn't think we'd miss this, did you?" asked a familiar voice followed by a soft coo and the feeling of a warm nose on Sokka's cheek. Until he'd met Toph, Sokka had never heard of a 'seeing eye lemur,' and would've guessed that such a thing was illegal. Momo was a rescue though, he hadn't been able to survive in the wild - Sokka guessed that Aang would never have approved of one of his friends having a pet lemur otherwise. He was a hyper little thing, but he was hard not to love. Sokka scratched the little guy behind the ear and was rewarded with a soft purr.

Of course, Katara couldn't be counted on to keep her mouth shut when it came to Toph. The little vixen could get anything out of Katara with enough prodding. And of course, Toph hadn't hesitated to tell Aang. Sokka rolled his eyes at his two friends, though he knew only Aang would see.

"You guys realize it's just an audition, right?" Sokka asked. "I might not even make the cut."

"Yeah right," Aang said, reaching over Toph to punch Sokka in the arm. "You've got this. Besides, even if you're not cast, we get to see you act!" Aang's enthusiasm was too endearing for Sokka to retort, even if Sokka kinda wanted to throw up right now. There was no hint of teasing behind his excitement. He really was that happy just to get a chance to watch Sokka act.

"I can't believe you were really stupid enough to think Twinkle Toes and I wouldn't find out about this," Toph laughed.

"What's he doing here?" Aang asked in a soft voice, nodding towards Zuko, still sitting alone, and not looking at anyone. Sokka frowned and shrugged.

Sokka didn't have time to give a real answer because just then Mr. Pakku walked to the middle of the stage and cleared his throat and the auditorium went silent. Sokka took deep, steadying breaths as Katara had instructed. Katara leaned around behind Sokka and whispered a rundown of who was in the auditorium to Toph while Pakku explained that he would be calling participants up one by one. He gave their group a few dirty looks as Katara continued whispering to Toph the whole time he talked, but said nothing. Toph often described the reluctance most teachers had about calling people out for talking to her – even during presentations or lectures - as Blind Privilege.

Sokka watched the other auditions without really watching. Mr. Pakku was not shy about saying things like 'okay, next' or 'thank you for your time' right in the middle of monologues which made Sokka's heart pound like a hummingbird's. The instructions on the flyers that had been handed out had been to pick any monologue, so there were a variety of choices going on but Sokka was too stuck in his own to watch anyone else.

When Sokka's name was called he found that his legs had turned into spaghetti noodles. Why had he let Katara talk him into this? Of course, he knew he could act. He was capable of doing all kinds of characters from Old British Guy to Crazy Redneck to Valley Girl and he could nail just about any cartoon character be it Harley Quinn or Eric Cartman when it came to entertaining his friends. This was different though. This was in front of like, a lot of people. Okay, not a lot, but still too many.

He felt hands on his back, shoving him out of his seat, and then he had no choice but to walk up to the stage.

He said his name and explained that he'd be doing Chunk's confession from The Goonies in a very quiet voice. He might've run off the stage and left then if he didn't see Toph, Aang, and Katara grinning at him from their seats and nodding encouragingly. 'You got this,' Katara mouthed.

"Everything!" Sokka said in a strained voice. "Okay! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew school play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog." As he continued, he got more confident and put as much desperation into the words as he could, trying to capture the scene from the movie. He heard a loud guffaw from Toph, and he knew he was doing good. "When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa- " Sokka really put his heart and soul into the fake sob and he could hear laughter from the audience - "and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life."

Toph wasn't the only one laughing by the time Sokka was finished. The entire audience was giggling. He grinned and did a bow before exiting the stage and going back to sit with his friends. He felt more relaxed as they watched the next audition, and was even able to enjoy himself. He was pretty sure he had nailed it. Of course, he might not have made it into the show, but at least he hadn't completely embarrassed himself.

Everyone got quiet when a surprising name was called. Nobody moved, and Mr. Pakku cleared his throat and repeated himself a little louder. "Zuko, come on up," he said.

Sokka couldn't believe this. He'd been so sure Zuko was there to watch someone else or to have something to bully people about later. Or even to record people's auditions as blackmail leverage. He was here to audition himself? No way.

Sokka was surprised to feel a little sympathy as he watched Zuko get up and walk towards the stage. He might've called something encouraging, but then he remembered how Zuko had tried to start a fight with Aang last year and didn't. Of course, Aang had refused to fight and nothing had come of it, but still. That wasn't the kind of person Sokka wanted to associate himself with. Aang was the nicest person Sokka knew. Trying to start a fight with him was crossing a line.

He watched with everyone else as Zuko got up on stage, but he didn't announce his name or what his monologue would be. There was a long pause. Sokka would've been red as a beat if it was him up there, but instead, Zuko looked kinda pale except for the burn mark on the side of his face that looked extra illuminated in the bright lights shining towards the mic.

"Please go ahead," Mr. Pakku said in a voice that was almost encouraging – for him at least.

Instead of saying anything, Zuko just shook his head looking ready to vomit and hurried offstage. He did not return to his seat. Instead, he hurried out of the auditorium. The double doors slammed behind him, echoing.

After a stunned thirty seconds, Mr. Pakku called the next name and the auditions continued.

 

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

 

The parking lot in the alley a few blocks away from school was filled with the usual crowd. Mai was there, sitting on the ground next to her backpack with headphones in, drawing in a sketchpad propped against her knees. Her black hair was pulled into a messy ponytail and she was wearing her usual ripped skinny jeans and black crop top. Zuko thought about going over and tugging her ponytail until she paid attention to him and felt sorry for him.

But Azula was there too, and she hadn't noticed him yet. That was enough to make him pass by the alleyway and the parking lot and take a detour. Ty Lee was there, twirling her hair, looking as out of place in the trashy parking lot as ever, still in her cheer uniform. She caught Zuko's eye but didn't say anything. He'd have to thank her for that later.

Instead, he continued to a bus stop and sat down on the bench. He stuck in headphones and turned on his music at full volume, trying to drown out the humiliating day he'd had with the sound of Gerard Way. It was a gorgeous day out of course, and the sunny sky seemed to mock his dark mood. He glared at the passing pedestrians, and he noticed a mother with two little kids hurrying away as she noticed his glare. Good. If he was lucky, no one would bother him. Not like anyone at school wanted to talk to the Sheriff's embarrassment of a son.

Then again, luck was never something Zuko had in abundance.

A big fluffy white dog ran over to the bench and tried its best to jump onto Zuko's lap. The dog's size made its efforts a waste. The thing had to be the size of a bison. It gave a booming bark, and licked Zuko across the face, knocking his headphones to the ground.

He tried very hard not to smile. However, it was really hard to avoid smiling when several hundred pounds of adorable fluff was trying to hug you. He patted the dog's head and was about to call him a 'good boy,' when he noticed the dog's owner rushing over.

Great. Just the person Zuko wanted to see - Not. He shoved the dog away and resumed his previous glare. Of course, Aang wasn't alone. When was this kid ever alone? Sokka, Katara, and Toph stood a little way away, looking awkward.

"Appa, down," Aang said. He grabbed the dog's leash and pulled. "Sorry," Aang said.

Zuko wanted to blurt out, 'Sorry I tried to start a fight with you for absolutely no reason last year. My dad was being a real asshole that day and I needed someone to take my anger out on but it shouldn't have been someone as nice as you. I've moved in with my uncle and started therapy since then.' The moment didn't feel right though, so instead, he just said, "It's fine."

"Uh, are you okay?" Aang asked. "I saw you today at-"

"I'm fine," Zuko snapped, probably sounding a lot harsher than he meant to.

"Right," Aang said in an awkward voice. "Well, anyway…" he trailed off and hurried back to his friends.

As he watched them go, Zuko sighed. Maybe he should've taken up his uncle's offer of moving and trying to start fresh at a new school. That was too much to ask, though. As if Uncle Iroh hadn't sacrificed enough for him already. His relationship with his brother, his life as a bachelor living alone, and a good portion of his income probably. Housing and feeding a teenager couldn't be cheap. Zuko would not ask his uncle to give up The Jasmine Dragon. Iroh had worked too hard for his business' reputation as the best tea shop in the city to give it up because Zuko was a socially awkward fuck up.

He put back in his headphones. After a few minutes, his music was interrupted by a ping. Mai was messaging him. Of course she was.

Hold_OnTil_Mai: Hey, are you okay?

Clown_Prince_Zuko: never better

Hold_OnTil_Mai: I know you said not to come but I am part of the tech crew, so I kind of had to be backstage…

Clown_Prince_Zuko: you said you were quitting tech. what happened to tOo MaNy ReSpOnSiBiLiTiEs AlReAdY

Hold_OnTil_Mai: My therapist said I should try to stay engaged in activities that interest me to avoid letting the depression set in.

Clown_Prince_Zuko: *gif: Dean Winchester saying 'no chick flick moments.'*

Hold_OnTil_Mai: I told you I'd block you if you tried to send me one more Supernatural gif >:(

Clown_Prince_Zuko: *gif: Castiel holding up a Sorry board game*

Hold_OnTil_Mai: *gif: a mouse hovering over the 'Block' button*

Clown_Prince_Zuko: u know u lvoe me :3

Hold_OnTil_Mai: I do, and in the interest of tough love, I'm gonna give you a real hard to swallow pill.

Clown_Prince_Zuko: I'd rather you… Not

Hold_OnTil_Mai: You're a good actor and being in the play would be good for you. You need to go to Pakku and tell him you want another chance to audition.

Clown_Prince_Zuko: LMAO

Hold_OnTil_Mai: I'm not kidding.

Clown_Prince_Zuko: YOU'RE about to get blocked

Hold_OnTil_Mai: ILY :3

Clown_Prince_Zuko: fuuuuuuck you

Hold_On_Til_Mai: You're gonna do it, aren't you?

Clown_Prince_Zuko: maybe. idk. jumping off a cliff is still an option

Hold_On_Til_Mai: <3

Hold_On_Til_Mai: Seriously, let me know when you plan to go so I can be there to back you up! Pakku likes me and he knows I'm the only one who really knows how to work the lights when they get finicky. So, if he doesn't listen to you, he'll listen to me.

Clown_Prince_Zuko: I hate you so much

Clown_Prince_Zuko: UGHHHHHHHHH Maiiiiiiii

Clown_Prince_Zuko: ok ok. I'm going during lunch tomorrow. what would I do without you?

Hold_On_Til_Mai: Wither and die <3

Clown_Prince_Zuko: *gif: Judi from Bad Girls Club saying 'maybe so*

Zuko sighed and stared at the text conversation. He supposed he'd always assumed Mai would talk him into trying again. Even if she hadn't been backstage - as he'd suspected she would be - he would've told her what happened. And he did, really want to do the play. He knew he'd be good at it. Besides his embarrassment about totally failing to even audition though, there was now the issue of his castmate to consider. That Sokka had made the cast wasn't even in question. He was probably the star. No one had gotten as much of a reaction from the audience as Sokka except probably Zuko himself.

Sokka didn't like Zuko. Of this, Zuko was sure. And the worst part was that he knew Sokka was absolutely correct to dislike him. He'd been a real jerk last year and he knew it. He'd had plenty of good reasons, but that didn't matter. He'd tried to pick a fight with Aang for crying out loud. Aang, the nicest kid in school who had started the fucking Volunteering Club. Being in the play - assuming Pakku didn't kick him out of the theatre before he even got a chance to re-audition - would mean being around Sokka all the time. The thought made Zuko want to hit something.

Chapter 2: smoke & broken mirrors

Summary:

CW: Mentions of parental abuse & some - wrongful - victim-blaming from other characters
Mentions of bullying & toxic friendships. Discussion of unhealthy romantic obsessiveness

Chapter Text

Ty Lee coughed on the cigarette smoke.

She was standing in the usual alley at the end of the usual parking lot, smoking with Azula. Mai was sitting on the ground, staring at her sketchpad, as usual. It was still early in the school year, and the warm summer air wasn’t crisp with fall yet. The sun didn’t shine on there little parking lot though. The buildings on all sides left dark shadows, shading them.

She didn’t like smoking but it seemed to impress Azula so she did it. When Mai had pointed out that everything Ty Lee did was to impress Azula, she’d been furious. It was one of the worst – and only – fights she’d ever been in with Mai.

She’d insisted that nothing she did was to impress Azula. Of course she liked smoking. Of course she liked dating all the cutest boys in school but never going out with any of them more than once. Of course she liked choking her lungs out in this parking lot every goddamn day. If Azula asked her to commit murder, there had been a time when there was no doubt in Ty Lee’s mind that she’d do it.

But she’d never say so out loud. And she was sure she was no longer that whipped. Of course, that sureness was easy to forget when Azula adjusted her needle sharp eyeliner in the little mirror she carried in her purse, or when Azula laughed, or when Azula gave her that rare, wide eyed look that meant she was being vulnerable if only for a second.

Ty Lee needed to forget about all of that.

Especially now. Because she was trying to get better. She had accepted that Azula did not want her the way she wanted Azula. She’d accepted that – looking back - Azula had always taken her toys when they played in the sandbox. She’d always been quick to call names. She’d always been quick to take advantage of any sign of weakness – not just in Ty Lee, but in anyone. It bothered Ty Lee more when Azula picked on other people than it did when Azula picked on her.

She was trying to get better, but that didn’t mean she didn’t love Azula still. She’d always love Azula, she supposed. She just needed to learn to love her the right way. She needed to learn to love Azula the way Azula loved her. Well, not quite the same way because Azula’s love was like a sharpened knife, it was cruel and hard and scary. Ty Lee’s love was like a dandelion. It was a soft and pretty flower, but it was not delicate and it could grow strong even in the most precarious places. She needed to learn to love Azula like a friend, though. Azula loved her like a friend, after all.

Despite what Mai said – despite what Zuko said – and seriously, fuck Zuko – Ty Lee knew that Azula did love her. Azula just wasn’t very good at loving people. That was okay. Ty Lee was good at loving people. She would be good enough for both of them. She just needed to do that as a friend. It was what was best. For both of them. That’s what she kept telling herself.

“What are you thinking so hard about?” Azula asked, taking a long drag of her own cigarette and blowing it in Ty Lee’s face.

Ty Lee sighed and decided to be semi honest. “It’s the beginning of our senior year,” she said with a smile that was almost genuine. “I’m thinking about how we’re going to make it memorable.”

“Oh don’t worry,” Azula said. “It’ll be memorable. Now that I’m finally an only child, father’s agreed to buy me a car.”

Ty Lee didn’t mention that Zuko running away didn’t make Azula an only child. Zuko sleeping in his beat up car during most of the summer hadn’t made her an only child. Iroh finding out about it and blowing up on Ozai didn’t make her an only child. Neither did Zuko moving out.

“What kind of car?” she asked with a huge grin, not thinking about how angry she was at Zuko.

“I don’t know,” Azula said. “Would you like to help me decide?

“Really?” Ty Lee asked.

“Of course, you are my best friend after all.” It didn’t matter that she said it to hurt Mai, who was pretending not to listen. The words were still like a rope being tossed to a drowning person. Ty Lee remembered a song from the show Crazy Ex Girlfriend – what had they sung about? Love kernels. Little kernels of love tossed out just when it seemed like the object of your affection didn’t feel the same at all. Sustenance for the obsessed. Right.

How could Mai just sit there, scribbling away on her sketch pad? Didn’t she care that Zuko had left? Didn’t she care that Azula was all alone in that big house? Ty Lee was smiling at Azula externally, pretending to be excited about the prospect of choosing a new car.

Internally, she was beating the crap out of Zuko with her bare hands. He’d been able to afford his piece of trash car with the tips he’d saved up working for his uncle on and off last school year when he wasn’t in juvie or pretending to go to school. Azula had been offered a job too, but it didn’t matter. Iroh had known before he offered that Azula would never accept a serving job.

Ty Lee blamed Iroh almost as much as she blamed Zuko for leaving.

Azula could talk all she wanted about shiny new cars and excitement at being an only child. Ty Lee had seen her breakdown after Zuko had told her he was moving in with his uncle, though. She’d seen her scream and throw the delicate figurines and the antique mirror her mother had left behind until shattered glass and porcelain covered the room. She’d watched her cut her bangs – which were still choppy and un-even – with a rusty pair of scissors from the kitchen.

“I’m thinking a Porsche,” Azula said. “Red.”

“You think your dad would get you a Porsche?” Ty Lee breathed, considering in her head how much it would cost Zuko if she threw rocks at his beat up Honda’s window. She hadn’t talked to him in the month since he’d moved into Iroh’s. She wondered if Azula had. She hadn’t dared to ask.

“Oh, I’m sure he could be convinced,” Azula said, tossing her hair.

Ty Lee laughed but she wanted to scream – ‘don’t you see he’ll buy you anything if you work hard enough to be perfect, but it’ll never be enough?’ She realized maybe she was projecting a tiny bit, but whatever.

Would any of her sisters react the way Azula did to Zuko leaving if Ty Lee ever decided to run away? She doubted it. If they even noticed, it would be relief they felt at having one less competitor around. Not that she was any better. She avoided her sisters at all costs, and spent as much time as possible away from home to avoid any sort of interaction with her parents. Ty Lee could recognize that her competitive relationship with her sisters was toxic, and that she would never get her parents’ approval. So why couldn’t Azula recognize that she’d never make Ozai happy?

“I like the Porsche idea,” Ty Lee said. For once, she wasn’t just saying whatever would make Azula happy. She was furious that Ozai used shiny new presents as a substitute for emotional connection, but the idea of zooming around in a Porsche was far from unpleasant. “Maybe yellow, though.”

Azula laughed, and it was the laugh Ty Lee enjoyed most. It wasn’t mean, teasing maybe, but not vindictive. “Sure,” Azula said. “I’ll just drive around in a giant banana. Why not?”

“Why not black?” Mai asked, without looking up.

Azula rolled her eyes. “I almost forgot I’ll be spending my senior year driving from funeral to funeral and visiting cemeteries,” she said in a scathing voice. “Maybe I’ll visit Dracula’s castle.”

Even though she was mad at Mai for staying friends with Zuko and even though she was mad at Mai for pointing out her constant need to please Azula, Ty Lee didn’t like Azula talking to Mai that way.

“Anyway, I can’t wait until we can all take the Porsche to the beech. No one will be able to take their eyes off us.” She beamed at Azula.

Then she saw Zuko pausing as he walked by the alley leading to their little parking lot. He’d once hung around here with them after school – or during school, not like Zuko had ever spent much time in class. He looked like he was considering joining them.

Ty Lee planned to give him a dirty look but all she could think about was the last time she’d spoken to him. It had been a few days before he’d told Azula he was moving in with Iroh permanently. They’d been sitting at the beech, the four of them. He’d thrown a photograph of his family into the fire without warning, and everyone had watched the photo burn. Then he’d started crying and talking about how he was always angry – angry at himself.

Lots of confessions had happened that night. Things they already knew about each other, but that still seemed need to be said out loud. Like Mai’s strained relationship with her prison guard father, Azula’s admission that she’d always known Zuko was their mother’s favorite, and Ty Lee’s description of her strained relationship with her family.

Zuko had dismissed Ty Lee by implying she sought the attention of boys as a replacement for her family’s love. Mai had stated that she didn’t care if her dad cared or not. Azula had laughed and said her mother was right to favor Zuko.

Somehow, seeing Zuko standing there awkwardly, Ty Lee couldn’t bring herself to glare. She just met his eyes, and thought about how much she missed having him as a friend. She saw Azula watching her gaze. Zuko was already walking away by the time Azula turned.

“Did Zuko just pass by?” Azula asked. She sounded as uninterested as ever, but her voice broke as she stumbled over his name – she didn’t call him ‘ZuZu’ the way she used to.

“Yes,” Ty Lee admitted.

“If he doesn’t stop stalking us I’ll have to get father to help me with a restraining order.”

“So you haven’t…” Ty Lee trailed off. She bit her lip. “You guys haven’t talked at all?”

“Talked?” Azula scoffed. “He calls me every night.”

Ty Lee felt her jaw drop. “Really?”

“Of course, I never answer,” Azula said, as if the idea of answering her little brother’s phone calls was the craziest thing she’d ever heard. “The brat leaves all kinds of embarrassing voicemails though. I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned them,” Azula laughed. “I save them, of course. For blackmail purposes. I swear, he’s the most idiotic excuse for a human being I can imagine. He acts as if checking in on me is some sort of favor. As if it’s not him who chose to move out of our beautiful house and into his uncle’s little shack!” she cackled, and there was no more trace of sadness, like there had been when she said Zuko’s name.

Azula could talk herself into believing anything. Was that what Ty Lee was doing? Talking herself into believing she could ever have a happy or healthy friendship with Azula? Was that any different than Azula convincing herself her life in the big empty feeling house with Ozai was better than Zuko’s life in the cozy little apartment above the Jasmine Dragon with Iroh?

 

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

 

“Hey, Azula. Zuko here! Obviously. Anyway, it’s weird seeing you at school and stuff and not talking. I miss you. Ugh, no that sounds weird. I mean I don’t miss you. Wait, that’s not what I mean either. Just…call me ok?”

Azula hurled her phone across the room and accidentally hit a glass of water that was sitting on the counter. The glass shattered. Good thing she’d bought a protective case after her father threatened to stop buying her new phones if she kept throwing them. She rushed across the kitchen and moved her phone away from the mess, tossing a towel over the spreading water.

Ozai wouldn’t be home for another hour, yet her heart was racing.

“I’m not scared of him,” she muttered out loud, to no one. Once the water was cleaned up, she threw the bigger pieces of glass in the trash. Then she grabbed a paper towel and used it to mop up the smaller shards.

She was shaking. Why had she decided to listen to Zuko’s latest voicemail again, knowing hearing his voice all unsure and worried would make her want to inflict violence? She was an idiot! God!

She was breathing much harder than necessary for someone standing still in a kitchen, but she couldn’t slow her shuddering breaths.

She kicked the bottom of the island in the middle of the kitchen knowing it was the least destructible thing in her immediate proximity. All that did was leave her with very sore toes. She yelled out a stream of profanity. That, at least, made her feel marginally better.

She opened her phone and clicked on her ‘recent calls.’ Her manicured finger hovered over the most recent call – from last night. ‘Zuzu.’ She bit her lip. Even if she called what would she say? ‘Hey ZuZu, thanks for leaving me all alone with dad. I hope you’re enjoying Uncle’s twenty four seven special treatment. Anyway I want to fucking kill myself but I’m glad you got out,’ didn’t seem like a good idea.

She kept her finger hovering over the call button for a long time, undecided.

Chapter 3: Come to me now once again and release me from grueling anxiety

Summary:

Zuko & Azula have a moment.

Later, the girls have some lesbian feelings.

Next time: Sokka & Zuko finally get to interact!

Chapter Text

Zuko wasn’t used to the actual going to class part of school. His first two years of high school had involved skipping, getting in trouble, or spending time in juvie. He was taking extra classes to catch up, too. It was a lot, but he didn’t mind. Staying busy with school kept him from thinking too much about his dad, and Azula, and his decision to leave.

He had re-auditioned for the play using the opening monologue from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Mai had gone with him and afterwards he’d left her and Mr. Pakku in deep conversation. He was pretty sure that without the audience, he’d nailed it. Also, apart from Sokka, there hadn’t been much competition.

Of course, there would be an audience for the actual performance so he’d have to get over himself before then if he did make the cast.

It was just that when he got up on stage he’d thought about his dad inviting him to a police briefing and his decision to speak up then. Stupid, stupid, stupid. It wasn’t even close to the same.

He knew the situations weren’t comparable, of course. That didn’t make it any easier to stand up and talk in front of a crowd. He’d been unable to bring himself to even speak. It was like one of those nightmares where you wanted to scream, but no sound came out.

Zuko hadn’t expected being onstage to bring back that particular memory. Sometimes though, the most random things could bring up especially bad memories. According to his therapist, this was called a trigger. Whatever it was, Zuko didn’t care for it.

Now that the audition – or rather, re-audition – was done with he was able to relax, a little. He was sure that once Mai was done talking with Pakku, she’d head to the cafeteria to sit with Azula and Ty Lee. She’d encouraged Zuko to meet them there plenty of times, but he’d always refused. He needed to talk to Azula before he assumed he was welcome to sit with their group again. Instead, he headed to Mr. Tyro’s room.

He needed to ask a few questions about their essay on The Great Gatsby, and besides, Mr. Tyro was too nice to kick him out. He opened the door to the classroom and froze. Great.

“Katara?” he asked. “What are you doing here?”

She turned around and glared. She was standing by the desk, and Mr. Tyro appeared to be reviewing a typed up document. “I’m having Mr. Tyro review my essay,” she said in a cool voice.

“Oh.” He stood there awkwardly for a second, and then made to leave.

“Wait a moment,” Mr. Tyro said in a kind voice. “Did you need something, Zuko?”

‘Yeah, a place to eat lunch,’ he thought. Instead, he said, “Um. The same. I needed you to review my essay.”

“Do you have it?”

“Well, no. I just had a few questions.”

“Have a seat, I’ll be with you as soon as I’ve finished reviewing Katara’s work,” Mr. Tyro said.

“Actually, I was just leaving,” Katara said. She bumped into Zuko with her shoulder as she whisked out of the classroom after snatching her essay back.

Zuko asked his questions and for once luck was on his side and the bell rang. He didn’t mind that between the audition and the questions about his essay he hadn’t had time to eat. He’d managed to avoid the cafeteria and the school restrooms, his two most dreaded spots to spend lunch.

He only half listened to the science lesson Mr. Piando was giving. He was thinking about Azula. She’d called him after school yesterday. His phone had rang once, and then it had stopped.

He’d tried to call back right away but there’d been no answer. As always, he left her a voicemail. He knew she was getting his calls, and he knew she was listening to his messages. He’d considered giving up a few times, but then he remembered what it was like in that house.

He remembered going to her room and sitting with her on nights when he could hear her crying from down the hall. He’d never said anything on such nights. Doing so would’ve gotten him kicked out. Instead, he just sat with her in silence. He wondered if she still sometimes cried herself to sleep or if she’d managed to break the habit now that she was alone.

He made up his mind during class that he would go up to her and talk after school.

Of course, it was easier said than done. Azula always had Ty Lee clinging onto her every word. Ty Lee had been Zuko’s friend once too. Kind of. Maybe. Almost. Maybe having her there when he approached Azula would make it less awkward. Or maybe it would make it worse. He ended up deciding that what he needed was to talk to his sister alone.

Zuko spent his last few periods considering how he was going to do this so when the last bell rang and he shoved his way through the crowded lobby and outside he was surprised to see Azula sitting on the stairs leading towards the street alone. Huh. Lucky. He realized that Ty Lee was probably still at cheer practice, but he had no idea where Mai was.

He looked around but neither Mai or Ty Lee were part of the meandering group of students outside waiting for rides or the bus. He hesitated, but he couldn’t think of any excuses. He’d told himself he was going to talk to do this. He squared his shoulders and marched over, sitting beside her. She reached in her pocket and stuck a cigarette between her teeth. She handed him one without looking at him.

He lit her cigarette for her and then his own. They just as there for a few seconds, not caring that the security guards were eyeing them nervously from near the doors. Yelling at Zuko was one thing. If he’d been alone, the cigarette would be on the ground and he be on his way to the principle’s office. The guards all knew better than to yell at Azula. No one wanted to get on Sheriff Ozai’s bad side.

“I’m sorry,” Zuko said after it became clear that Azula wasn’t going to say anything.

She looked at him at last. For a brief moment, he thought she was going to hit him. Then, she rolled her eyes and laughed. “Don’t be so dramatic, ZuZu. I was never angry with you. If you’re happier living with our creepy uncle working customer service to help pay the rent – that’s your prerogative I suppose.”

“We have an extra room,” Zuko said. “I know Iroh’s mentioned that having another waitress would be nice.” He’d mentioned the room to her a number of times in his voice messages. He tried to make it sound like she’d be doing Iroh a favor now, though. There was nothing Azula wouldn’t choose above pity. Maybe if she thought she’d be helping them out by moving in with them…

She wrinkled her nose. “I’d rather spend my senior year of high school not helping a failing restaurant owner stay afloat. Thank you for the tempting offer, though.”

“It’d be nice,” Zuko said, knowing it was hopeless. “For me, I mean. Having you there. Having Uncle as my only roommate can get to be a bit much. The smell, you know. And it gets a bit old hearing philosophy lessons around the clock.” He did his best imitation of Iroh. “Zuko, the sun and moon both are necessary to help the plants that make the tea grow. And the clouds are like beacons of hope from God.”

“What? That made no sense at all.”

“Well I don’t memorize all the lessons,” Zuko shrugged with a small smile. “I was improvising.”

Azula laughed. “You could always come home, you know,” she said. He knew she was trying to keep the hope out of her voice.

He didn’t say anything and neither did she but he had a feeling that maybe now they were talking again and maybe she’d let him be there for her a little, like he used to.

 

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

 

Sokka, Katara, Aang and Toph sat on the bleachers in front of the football stadium and cheered while the team practiced. Toph couldn’t see a thing that was happening, but she cheered along with her friends. She could smell when Suki approached though, and she plugged her nose dramatically waving her hand.

“Is there a garbage truck passing?” she teased.

Suki jumped onto the bench and Toph felt a sweaty head plop into her lap. She pretended to try to shove Suki away. Despite not being able to see the game for herself, Toph was a football fan. What wasn’t to love about physical activity and Suki having the opportunity to show off how badass she was?

“Nice going out there, Suki!” Sokka said. “You’re really-”

“Did you SEE the cheerleaders practicing?” Suki interrupted. “Ty Lee is trying to give me a heart attack.”

“You’re really a big ol’ lesbian!” Toph finished for Sokka laughing and punching Suki’s arm.

“Duh,” Suki laughed, sitting up. Toph could feel the air pressure move and Momo clung to her shoulder cooing and she knew that Suki was talking with her hands. “Have you seen the way she moves though? It’s like she’s a circus performer or something. And her eyes are so pretty and-”

“And she’s best friends with Azula,” Katara reminded Suki. “I know she seems nice but you know as well as I do that getting involved with someone who’s that close with someone like Azula is-”

“Okay, who said anything about getting involved?” Suki asked. “Is it not enough for me to fantasize about holding her hand? And maybe kissing her and maybe watching her walk down the isle at our wedding, and -”

“Hey, practice is over and you guys promised me you’d go with me to look at the cast list,” Sokka said. “Mr. Pakku said at the end of auditions that he’d post it today after school.”

They all headed down the bleachers and across the football field, towards the entrance to the theatre. Toph knew the school pretty well and Momo always warned her before she ran into anything or anyone, but it wasn’t unusual for her friends to guide her when they were all walking together. Still, she felt a little something like butterflies in her stomach when Katara took her hand.

She didn’t need to see to recognize Katara’s hand, or the little squeeze Katara gave as she tugged her along. She’d know Katara’s touch anywhere. She let her friend guide her inside, downstairs, and all the way to the theatre.

She felt shoulders pressing against them from all sides. There was a crowd of people, all trying to get a good look at the sign by the theatre door. She was surprised to hear a familiar, melancholy voice telling someone to get out of the way. What was Mai doing here? She didn’t strike Toph as the theatre type, and she hadn’t been one of the people to audition.

She was distracted before she could wonder too much about Mai, by the feeling of Katara’s fingers interlocking with hers. She wondered if anyone was looking. They didn’t have an excuse now, Katara wasn’t leading her anywhere. She was just holding her hand. Something about that made Toph feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

“I made it!” Sokka’s voice exclaimed. Toph felt Katara drop her hand and she tried to ignore the sense of loss.

“Congratula-”

Aang couldn’t even get the whole word out before Sokka interrupted. “Guess who else made it?”

“Haru? He was pretty good-” Katara started.

Sokka interrupted again. “Well, yeah. But guess who else?”

“Jet?” Sukki asked.

“Pipsqueak?” Aang guessed.

“No! Zuko!”

“What?” Toph asked. “He didn’t even make it through the audition.”

“I know!” Sokka said. The sound of his arms flopping at his sides informed Toph that he had thrown them in the air. She felt the weight of Momo disappear from her shoulder and knew he was wrapped around Sokka’s neck, trying to calm down his buddy.

“What part did you get?” Katara asked.

“I’m playing the Dragon Emperor, Noren.”

“Sokka, that’s the lead part!” Suki cried. “That’s amazing.”

“I know,” Sokka said, sounding a little pleased with himself.

“Who’s Zuko playing?” Katara asked.

“The Dark Water Spirit.”

“Well, at least he’s the villain and you get to defeat him in the end,” Toph offered.

“Try not to let it bug you,” Suki said. “Who cares about Zuko? You’re in the show! And you’re playing the hero.”

“Yeah,” Sokka agreed, though Toph noticed he sounded a little half-hearted.

“You’re gonna nail it, Sokka,” Aang said. “I can’t wait to watch.”

The group headed outside where Gyatso was waiting to give them all rides. As always, Appa’s booming bark told Toph where his minivan was waiting. It had been routine for their group to carpool with Aang's adoptive father since the fifth grade. Sokka, Katara, and Aang had been best friends since kindergarten and when Toph and Suki had been the new kids in fourth grade, they’d been welcomed into the friend group.

It hadn’t taken long for Hakoda to catch on that Toph didn’t have the best time at home. He’d noticed right away that she always stalled on ending play dates with Sokka and Katara. He’d started inviting her over more and more, and when that only made her parents angrier, he’d eventually had it out with them. Toph had moved in with Sokka, Katara, and Hakoda by seventh grade.

As they headed towards the car, the group chatted about how much better Sokka would be as the Dragon Emperor than the guy from the Ember Island Players. They’d gone to see 'Love Amongst the Dragons' at the local community theatre over the summer after it was announced on the school website that it would be the high school play. They had all agreed it had been butchered by the Ember Island Player's troupe.

When they got into the van, Katara sat next to Toph, and left her hand on Toph’s knee and all of a sudden the discussion about the play became much less interesting.

“Hold on,” Sokka said, before they started moving. “I wanna go say something.” The sound of the van door opening told Toph he was getting out of the car.

“Sokka wait-” Katara started.

“Yeah, you don’t wanna start anything,” Suki agreed.

“Just go,” Sokka said. “I just wanna talk to him. I’ll walk home, it’s not far.”

“Sokka, do not start a fight,” Katara said.

“Don’t worry about it.” The van door slammed. Katara sighed.

“Who’d he go to talk to?” Toph asked although she had a feeling she already knew.

“Zuko,” Aang answered. “Maybe-”

“Zuko was cast in the play with Sokka after all?" Gyatso asked, not sounding surprised.

"Yeah," Aang said. "How did you-" Aang stopped himself as he figured it out. "Pakku." It was no secret that Gyatso and Mr. Pakku were close friends. Sokka had spent the entire car ride the previous day trying to convince Gyatso to give him a hint as to whether he had a chance of getting a part.

"Sokka needs to work this out for himself," Gyatso said, sounding decisive.

The van started moving.

Toph could feel Katara’s tension beside her, and she placed a hand on her shoulder. Toph felt Katara relax a little at her touch, and she left her hand there. She hoped Sokka wasn’t doing anything stupid. Still, she wasn’t mad that she’d now have a little time alone with Katara when they got to Hakoda’s house.

Toph had always been the touchy-feely type. She was that way with all her friends. She didn't feel her heart rate accelerate to that of a hummingbird's when she rode around on Sokka's back piggyback style, though. She didn't feel like her body was charged with electricity when she and Aang collided as they raced each other down the street. She didn't feel like she never wanted to let go when she and Suki linked elbows to walk across the cafeteria - though she knew that touching Suki was different than touching Sokka or Aang. Toph had been living with Katara since the fifth grade when Hakoda took her in.

She had always thought of both Sokka and Katara almost like siblings until recently. Something over the summer had changed on a warm afternoon when she and Katara went out to ice cream while Sokka and Aang were busy having some retail therapy. Katara had laughed and told her she had something on her face and brushed her fingers across Toph's lips and it hadn't felt like a sister or a friend touching her at all, it had felt like something new. Maybe it had always been there, that hidden surge of electricity, just waiting to run through her.

"What's up Toph? You look like you're in another world," Aang said in a teasing voice.

Toph felt the blood rush to her cheeks. "Your face looks like it's in another world Twinkle Toes," she scoffed.

"How would you know?" Aang asked, laughing.

"Oh, hardy-har," Toph said. "Quit over-analyzing me. I'm just worried about Sokka doing something stupid. We don't need him making an enemy of his castmate. The Dark Water Spirit is almost as big a role as the Dragon Emperor. He's gonna have to learn to get along with Zuko whether he likes it or not."

"Yeah," Aang said. "I'm worried about that too." Toph felt a guilty sense of relief at having distracted Aang.

"That," Gyatso said, "is why I believe he needs to work this out for himself. Sokka feels the need to confront Zuko about the play because he does not believe Zuko earned a part. Having spoken to Pakku, I disagree."

"I mean," Toph said. "He didn't make it through the audition. No offense."

"I won't speak for Pakku or Zuko," Gyatso said. "But I believe once Sokka understands a little more he will be more understanding. I don't believe he will start a fight. If I did, I would not have left him to talk to Zuko."

Toph had to admit, that was a little comforting. Whatever had made Pakku change his mind, she knew he was a fair guy. Plus, Gyatso seemed to think he had a good reason and Gyatso was pretty reasonable. He was a little odd, and he could be goofy, but he was also smart. If he didn't think Sokka was going to do anything stupid, that was a good thing.

She soon as good as forgot about Sokka again as they arrived at Hakoda's house and she remembered Hakoda wouldn't be home from work for another couple hours and Sokka still had the whole walk home plus however much time he spent talking - hopefully just talking - to Zuko. She and Katara had the house to themselves. Yeah, nothing else was on her mind anymore. Just the empty house and Katara's hand around hers as she climbed out of the van.

Chapter 4: sometimes bisexual disasters can find people they "can't stand" cute. as a treat

Summary:

Sokka confronts Zuko about getting a part he doesn't deserve in the school play. It does not go at all how he expects it to go.

Chapter Text

Sokka watched the van with his friends in it drive away. He had no intention of starting a fight. He just wanted to know what the hell was going on. He knew he’d gotten the lead and should be happy with that, but the Dark Water Spirit was a pretty important roll too. He wasn’t exactly excited about the idea of rehearsing after school everyday with someone who had bribed or threatened their way into the show.

Zuko was sitting on the stairs leading to the sidewalk with Azula. They were smoking. Right in front of the security guards. Sokka clenched his fists. It wasn’t fair! Just because their dad was the sheriff and arguably the scariest person anyone had ever met, they got to do whatever they wanted. If Sokka were to sit in front of the security guards and try to smoke a cigarette, he’d be in the principle’s office before he could get the lighter lit. Not that Sokka would ever do anything as dangerous and stupid as smoking. Even if Zuko looked kind of cool doing it with his stupid emo hair and his cool-guy pouty glare-ey face. Stupid jerk.

Sokka marched over to them and crossed his arms, glaring.

Azula looked up all slow and casual and Sokka tried to maintain his angry glare. He decided that the second scariest person in the world after Sheriff Ozai had to be the sheriff’s daughter. Azula could make you want the earth to open up and swallow you with a look. She just had to glare for a disgusted half second before the victim of her disdain wanted to die.

“Zuko,” she said. She turned her glare away from Sokka, looking to her brother as if Sokka wasn’t even there. “Why is this low class loser staring at us? Is he a friend of yours?”

Zuko didn’t answer, instead speaking to Sokka. “Can I help you?”

“I guess you’re please with yourself,” Sokka said. “Getting the second biggest part in the play without even auditioning.”

Surprise filled Zuko’s face. He looked shocked, and, then a second later, almost pleased. Sokka continued to glare, but he was taken off guard by Zuko not realizing he’d been cast. Maybe big sis had been the one to threaten Pakku?

“ZuZu,” Azula said, looking delighted but in a mean way. “You didn’t tell me you’d auditioned for the school play.”

“Because you weren’t even talking to-” Zuko cut himself off, and shook his head, looking angry. Of course, Sokka hardly ever saw Zuko look anything but angry. “Never mind,” he said. Then, to Sokka, “I was really cast?”

“Yeah,” Sokka said, bewildered. “You didn’t know?”

Zuko shook his head. “What part did I get?”

“The Dark Water Spirit,” Sokka said, reluctant. He uncrossed his arms and let the fall to his sides. He didn’t think he had the higher ground to be angry anymore.

“I assume you’re the Dragon Emperor,” Zuko said. Was it just Sokka or did Zuko sound…friendly?

“Uh, yeah,” Sokka said, scratching his head. “How uh, how did you know?”

“You were the best person at the auditions,” Zuko said, like it was obvious.

“Really?” Sokka asked, perking up. “Thanks! I’d uh, return the compliment but…” he trailed off.

“Excuse you,” Azula said, tossing her hair and standing up. She was taller than Sokka already, and she was also standing on a step above him so she towered over him. “Did you just passive aggressively insult my little brother’s honor? Because if you did-”

Her threat was, thank God, cut off by Zuko who stood up and put a hand on her shoulder. “No it’s fine,” Zuko said. “I uh,” he looked at the ground and Sokka could’ve sworn his cheeks turned pink. “I didn’t do so hot at the audition. But Pakku gave me another try today during lunch.”

“Oh,” Azula said, looking uncomfortable. “Well, of course he did," she continued, regaining her composure. "I’m sure once given the proper opportunity away from pathetic scum like this one,” she nodded at Sokka, “you did absolutely wonderful.”

Sokka raised his eyebrows at Zuko, who looked almost…apologetic? Was that possible? Was this the same jerk who had slammed Aang against a locker last year? What had changed? He certainly had better hair now, but Sokka couldn’t think of anything else.

“Anyway, ZuZu,” Azula said. “I’m heading home. Unless you’d like to join me, I’ll say goodbye. Have fun with your hot leaf water.” What the fuck? Hot leaf water? Sokka was baffled. These two could not be weirder.

“Bye Azula,” Zuko said. He stared at the ground as his sister walked away so he didn’t see the look she shot over her shoulder, but Sokka did. Was it just him or did Azula look almost sad? No, he thought, shoving that thought aside. It must have been the light. Azula didn’t have feelings.

“Anyway, congrats on getting the lead,” Zuko said, sounding awkward.

“Thanks,” Sokka said. “I guess I should say the same to you.” He was feeling pretty awkward himself, and he realized the most of the kids who’d been hanging out waiting for rides had been picked up by now.

“I know you probably don’t think I deserved a part,” Zuko said. Sokka didn’t know how to respond to that since that was the exact reason he’d come over to confront Zuko in the first place. “I don’t even know that I do, really,” Zuko went on. “But my friend Mai encouraged me to try again. Not that it’s her fault! Or anyone’s. I just mean, well, I thought I’d see if Pakku wanted to let me try again. And he did. So…yeah.”

“Right,” Sokka said.

“Look,” Zuko said. “I know I’ve been a jerk in the past, but I’m trying to start fresh this year. So maybe you and I could…I don’t know. Try to get along?”

“I’m not the one you shoved into a locker,” Sokka said.

“I know I owe Aang an apology as well.”

“You didn’t exactly apologize to me.”

“Did I do something to you?”

“Well, no,” Sokka shoved his hands in his pockets. “I guess not. But you messed with my friend. You need to apologize to him before I consider,” he made quotation marks. “Trying to get along.”

“That’s fair,” Zuko said. Why was he being so nice about this? Sokka had expected him to put up more of a fight.

“Anyway,” Sokka said. “No one else got another try at auditioning. I’m sure having the Sheriff as your dad helped more than any talent you might have during this second audition.”

“Are you implying that I threatened Mr. Pakku if he didn’t give me a part in some stupid play? What is this, Riverdale?”

“Well, no, I’m just saying. I’m sure you didn’t have to threaten him for the threat to be there."

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Zuko said coldly. “I wouldn’t make assumptions if I were you.”

“Whatever,” Sokka said. “I wouldn’t make assumptions about why you always get whatever you want. Hint, I don’t think it’s because of your charm.”

“I’m going home,” Zuko said. “I’ll see you at rehearsal.” He headed off then, but not, Sokka noticed, in the same direction his sister had gone.

Whatever, it didn’t matter. Maybe Zuko wanted to stop and by some hot Cheetos, or maybe he’d parked somewhere different than Azula? Then Sokka remembered that he’d seen Zuko in a beat up Honda a few times but he’d never seen Azula driving. That was kind of weird. If Zuko had a car, why wouldn’t he give his sister a ride? Or, if their dad was picking them up, why wouldn’t they both ride with him? Sokka tried to push it out of his mind. It was all too possible that Azula had just gotten her own car and Sokka hadn’t seen it yet.

Most everyone had gotten picked up by their ride or left by this point. Sokka realized for the first time why everyone had cleared out so fast as he glanced at the sky. The clouds were dark and ominous and Sokka noticed a dampness to the air. He decided to book it on the way home.

He started walking home, and tried to focus on excitement over getting the lead part in the play. Why did he even care if Zuko was in it too? It’s not like that took away from Sokka’s glory. He was prepared to be amazing, and not think about Zuko anymore.

Except, as he made his way down the sidewalk he noticed a familiar beat up Honda driving slow next to him. He didn’t look up. The car pulled up close to the sidewalk and the window started rolling down. Sokka looked over and raised his eyebrows. Zuko was pulling a very unsafe move from the driver’s seat and leaning across towards the passenger’s seat to crank down the passenger side window.

“Hey!” Zuko said. “Sokka.”

Sokka stopped walking. The car stopped next to him. “Zuko,” he said in a deadpan voice. Was this guy stalking him now?

“It looks like it’s gonna rain.”

“Well, this has been a nice chat,” Sokka said, and started walking again.

He made it about twenty feet down the sidewalk when the sky opened up with a boom and he was drenched. He groaned, but did not turn around to see if Zuko was laughing at him. He kept walking.

The Honda pulled up and Sokka cursed as the wheels hit a puddle and old dirty street water mixed with the rain water, drenching him. What an asshole. Sokka stuck his middle finger up and raised it behind him as he continued to walk away.

“Wait!” Zuko yelled. “I didn’t mean to do that. Just let me give you a ride.”

Ugh! Sokka wanted to keep walking, but the prospect of a dry car was very tempting. He still had about another half mile before he got home. The idea of walking it in the downpour was too unpleasant to resist.

“Why are you just standing there?” Zuko called. “Get in!”

Sokka sighed, and turned around. He hurried back over to where the Honda was parked and climbed in. As soon as he was inside, he busied himself with cranking the passenger side window up as Zuko started driving. Once the window was up, he sighed in relief and leaned back. He was definitely drenching Zuko’s seat. Good.

“Thanks,” he said begrudgingly.

“You’re welcome,” Zuko said. “Uh, where do you live? Or, well-” he stopped and seemed to consider. Sokka waited. “Never mind,” Zuko said.

“What?”

“Well, my uncle says the best thing during a rainstorm is a hot cup of tea. Of course, my uncle always thinks the best thing for any situation is a cup of tea. Anyway, I was going to say you could join me for a cup. Then I remembered that you can't stand me.”

“Uh…” Sokka said. He was kind of floored. It wasn’t so much that he couldn’t stand Zuko as it was that he’d always thought Zuko was bad news. Also, there was the time he’d acted like a world class jerk towards Aang. This was different though. It was like he was talking to a different person. Or at least, like Zuko was genuinely trying to start fresh.

“It’s fine,” Zuko said. “I’m used to people not being able to stand me. And I have it coming. Anyway, where do you live?”

What was this – reverse psychology?

“You know what?” Sokka said. “I could go for a cup of tea.”

Sokka had never noticed before but Zuko was kind of cute when he smiled. Maybe he’d just never seen him smile before. He was always so angry and glare-ey. Now, he looked kinda pleased though. Sokka didn’t mind that look at all.

Chapter 5: in which there are two instances of people walking into a room & causing other people to fall off of furniture

Summary:

Hot leaf juice, Mario Kart, borrowed hoodies, and tearful confessions are a great foundation for any frienemyship ammiright?

Chapter Text

Zuko was kicking himself for stating so bluntly that Sokka couldn’t stand him. Idiot. Now Sokka was following him into the Jasmine Dragon for a pity cup of tea and Zuko had absolutely no idea what they were supposed to talk about. It was busy, as always, and he noticed Jin, who was supposed to be working, was leaning across the counter to talk to Mai instead of bringing tea to any of her tables. Well, Jin was nothing if not predictable.

Mai turned around when Zuko and Sokka approached the counter and raised her eyebrows. “Hi Zuko,” she said. “Did you not get my ten thousand texts?”

“What?” he asked, realizing that he’d left his phone in his backpack.

Mai rolled her eyes. “I’m guessing based on your company,” she nodded at Sokka, who was dripping water everywhere, “that you heard about the cast list. Congratulations you two.” Mai actually sounded more enthusiastic than she normally did about anything. She’d been doing better and showing more interest in the world around her since she started therapy. Zuko also noticed that she always lit up a little more when Jin was around though. This is why he tried not to get too annoyed at Jin for favoring flirting with Mai instead of doing her job.

“Thanks,” Zuko said.

“Um yeah, thanks Mai,” Sokka seconded, though he sounded confused. Zuko looked at Jin pointedly. “Do you need some help?”

“What? No. It’s supposed to be your day off, go hang out with your cute new friend.”

Zuko felt his cheeks heat up. “Whatever, just don’t ignore your tables,” he muttered and dragged Sokka behind the counter.

“Uh, where are we going?” Sokka asked. “And why was Mai wishing us congratulations? Since when does she care about theatre?”

“We’re going to grab our tea from the kitchen then we can go upstairs to my room so I don’t feel guilty for not covering Jin’s tables,” Zuko said. “And Mai’s a techie, so of course she cares about the play.”

“Your room?” Sokka asked as Zuko filled two mugs with steaming ginseng tea.

“Zuko, I see you brought a friend,” Iroh said, emerging from behind one of the tall shelves covered in jars of various herbs.

“He’s not my friend,” Zuko snapped. “He’s my castmate in the play.” He didn’t need Sokka getting all uncomfortable and thinking Zuko thought they were friends. This was just a cup of hot leaf juice and a chance to get out of the rain between two people who didn’t like each other. Well, actually Zuko did kind of like Sokka. He was funny. And nice. And he was a good actor. But that wasn’t the point.

“Uh hi,” Sokka said.

“Mai told me you got a part,” Iroh said with a smile. “Congratulations.”

“Uncle,” Zuko said. “I can come and help Jin wait on the customers if you need me to-”

“It’s fine,” Iroh said with a soft laugh. “She needs to learn to balance her priorities eventually. Without practice, how will she do that?”

Zuko rolled his eyes. “Okay, but I don’t want the customers to get impatient.”

“Patience is a virtue,” Iroh said. “And good tea is worth it. Your friend needs dry clothes, anyway.”

“Right,” Zuko agreed, looking at Sokka who was dripping water all over the kitchen floor.

He handed Sokka one of the mugs of tea and grabbed Sokka’s wrist, dragging him towards the door that opened up to the stairs leading to the apartment. Sokka looped confused but followed him. Zuko liked Sokka, but the guy did seem confused a lot of the time. Maybe his good looks made up for his ongoing state of uncertainty. Or maybe he was unsure because Zuko had never been nice to him before.

Well, Sokka was going to have to get used to Zuko being nice whether he liked it or not. Even if he never became friends with Sokka, Zuko was determined to erase his reputation for being an asshole. He wasn’t doing great so far, he knew that. He’d managed to get angry when Sokka implied that people were scared of him because of his dad – which was probably true now that he thought about it – and splash Sokka with dirty street water. So he wasn’t off to a great start.

He was going to make up for it now though. Once they were in the apartment, he dragged Sokka to his room, set down his tea on the dresser, and started digging around in his closet. Eventually, he came across a dry pullover hoodie. It was still pretty warm out but the rain was cooling things off and Sokka needed something dry to put on.

“Here,” he said, tossing the hoodie to Sokka, who was still standing awkwardly near the doorway.

“Uh, thanks,” Sokka said. “Do you want me to take off my wet shirt or…?”

“Right, uh, here,” he handed the hanger that the hoodie had been on to Sokka. “You can leave it here and I’ll wash it and give it to you at rehearsal.”

“Right,” Sokka said. He took off the wet shirt and Zuko definitely found himself Looking Respectfully.

He had always thought Sokka was good looking but - no, he wasn’t gonna gawk. He coughed and looked away, taking a long sip of his tea. Unsurprisingly, the tea, which was after all straight from the kettle, burned his throat. He sputtered and huffed out a breath trying to cool off his scalding tongue. At least he’d managed to successfully distract himself while Sokka hung up his shirt and put on the hoodie.

He was hoping Sokka would pretend not to notice him almost dying as he attempted the simple task of taking a sip of tea but Sokka was not so merciful. He was laughing. Damn it.

“I take it I want to let mine cool off?” Sokka asked.

“Maybe so,” Zuko said, clenching his teeth.

“So...you live here?” Sokka asked.

Oh right. Suddenly Sokka’s confusion made a lot more sense. Just because moving here had been a life-changing decision for Zuko didn’t mean everyone else knew about it. So maybe Sokka wasn’t a dumbass, maybe Zuko was just assumed that everyone knew about things that seemed really dramatic and big to him. Of course, Sokka wouldn’t know about his move.

Zuko sat down on the bed, grateful that he tended to be a cleanly person so the room was pretty clean and the bed was made. He scooted to the far end of the bed and leaned against the wall and, after a few seconds of hesitation, Sokka sat down next to him, also leaning against the wall. Zuko tried really hard not to think about how adorable Sokka looked sitting there with his messy wet ponytail wearing Zuko’s hoodie.

“Yeah,” he said.

“So, are uh,” Sokka looked around nervously. “Are Azula and Ozai here?”

Ohh. Right. He still hadn’t explained the situation. He shifted uncomfortably. “No,” he said.

Awkward silence.

“Uh, are they…doing something right now or….?”

“They don’t live here.”

“Right, well, that clears that up.”

Zuko sighed. “I moved here towards the end of the summer when my uncle found out I was living in my car.”

“Oh shit.”

“It was a personal choice.”

“Interesting personal choice,” Sokka said cautiously. It was sarcastic, but not in a biting way. He was asking for more information without being pushy, and Zuko appreciated that.

“You probably don’t want to hear about that,” Zuko said. “Come on, my uncle bought me Mario Kart when I moved in with him. I think he felt bad that all he had to do around here was play Pai Sho. We can play in the living room.”

“Oh hell yeah,” Sokka said. “I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“Watch what you say, I’m pretty good.”

As it turned out, although Zuko was normally pretty good at Mario Kart, not so much when it came to playing against Sokka. There were two seats in the living room, the love seat and the recliner that Iroh usually sat in. Zuko went for the love seat, and Sokka plopped down beside him. He was taken off guard by that right away, even though he didn’t know why – after all, it was the comfier of the two seats and there were two cushions and he’d sat here with Mai plenty of times and never thought twice about it.

He was not nearly as good at Mario Kart with Sokka sitting so close and distracting him.

After Sokka had, as promised, kicked Zuko’s ass several times, they agreed to take a break and play a game of Pai Sho. Unlike Mario Kart, this game allowed them to sip their tea which had at last cooled off. The storm was still raging outside. Zuko found himself thinking of Azula, as he often did during storms. She’d always liked thunderstorms. She always seemed more relaxed when there was a storm raging outside like the weather's wildness helped her find her chi or something.

They had sometimes played Pai Sho together on stormy days and sometimes he’d gotten her to smile when he let her win. Now, he and Sokka had pulled up the little wooden coffee table – which Iroh had insisted they call a ‘tea table’ because coffee was for heathens – and they were sitting in the loveseat with the game set up in front of them.

“So Azula doesn’t live here too?” Sokka asked as if he were reading Zuko’s thoughts.

“No,” Zuko said.

“I’m sorry, we don’t have to talk about that.”

“No, it’s fine. Azula was invited to live here. She’s always been kind of stubborn though. Ever since our mom…Well, things haven’t been great at our house.” He looked down, not meeting Sokka’s eyes. He hadn’t actually talked much about his mom to anyone ever, not even Azula really. Barely Iroh and Mai. Certainly not Jet during the brief time they'd dated over the summer.

“Katara and I lost our mom when I was pretty young,” Sokka offered. “I know it can be tough.”

“Our mom just disappeared one day,” Zuko said. “And dad’s never been…well, it hasn’t been easy for Azula and me.”

“Our mom was murdered.”

“Shit. You win.”

“Wait,” Sokka said. “I didn’t say that to make this about me. I was just, I don’t know. You said a thing, so I said a thing.”

“Azula’s always been better at making our father happy than I am. Which, I’m not sure is the gift she makes it out to be. I guess I shouldn’t be talking about this, though. It’s Azula’s business.”

“I’m sorry I pushed,” Sokka said. “I just had no idea you weren’t living with your family.”

“My uncle is my family,” Zuko said, feeling defensive. “He’s been more of a father to me than my actual father.” Wow, was that the first time he’d said that out loud outside of therapy? What was it about Sokka that made him unzip like this? 'Get it together, Zuko,' he thought to himself.

“I didn’t mean he wasn’t,” Sokka said quickly. “I was just surprised you’d moved out. I’m glad you have your uncle.”

“Me too,” Zuko said, but he couldn’t keep the sadness out of his voice. He was thinking about Azula again.

He’d been feeling like such crap about leaving her behind ever since he saw the broken look in her eyes when he told her he was moving out. Now, talking about it – having Sokka surprised that he wasn’t living with "his family," it all came crashing down. He was an asshole. And a horrible brother. Zuko was horrified as he realized that his eyes were filling up with tears. Great, now any chance he’d had of befriending Sokka was gone. He’d almost been the fun guy who sucked at Mario Kart but had good tea and now he was the idiot who started crying out of nowhere.

Sokka looked alarmed, and that just made Zuko feel even worse. The waterworks were coming and there was nothing he could do about it. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Whoa, hey, it’s okay,” Sokka said. Because Sokka was a good guy, he wrapped an arm around Zuko.

Zuko buried his face in Sokka’s shoulder and gave in. He was going to be embarrassed later, for sure, but right now he was glad to have a shoulder to lean on. Even if Sokka clearly felt awkward as he patted Zuko’s back.

Zuko managed to stop sobbing after a second and he wiped at his eyes, which were still pretty leaky. “I’m sorry,” he said. He started to sit up but Sokka tightened the arm around his shoulder.

“Don’t be,” Sokka said, twisting his neck to look at Zuko. “It’s okay. I shouldn’t have implied that your uncle wasn’t family. That was a dick move and-”

“It’s not that,” Zuko sighed. “I was thinking about Azula. I can’t believe I left her. I’m such a shitty brother. I should go back and-”

“No way,” Sokka said. “Look, I don’t know the full story but it sounds like going back to your dad’s is the last thing you should do. You said Azula was invited to live here too, right?”

“She’d never accept,” Zuko sighed. As he said it, he knew that it was true. He’d tried to convince himself that he was guiltless for getting out when Azula had the choice to go with him. He knew her better than that though. In her mind, there was no choice. All she cared about was making Ozai happy.

“Maybe,” Sokka said. “But that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to stay there.”

“Thanks,” Zuko said. “Doesn’t always feel that way though." He could sense Sokka getting ready to argue, so he said, "Imagine leaving Katara somewhere you knew she was suffering. And knowing she’d never leave with you.”

“Ah.” Sokka seemed to understand at last. “I get it,” he said and gave Zuko’s shoulder a squeeze.

Zuko was very aware that his head was still resting against Sokka and Sokka’s arm was still around him. He hadn’t talked to anyone about this stuff, not really. He alluded to it sometimes with Mai, but they didn’t really talk-talk about it. The only person other than Sokka that Zuko had admitted his guilty feelings about leaving Azula to were his therapist. There was something so warm about Sokka though. Even if Sokka couldn’t stand him, he was just so kind and inviting. He was the kind of person you could accidentally confess murder to, probably.

They sat like that for a while. Zuko would’ve been happy to never move again. He was pretty sure this was the most comfortable he’d ever been.

Then, he heard Iroh clear his throat from behind them and he and Sokka shot away from each other so fast they both fell off opposite ends of the love seat. Iroh chuckled as he watched Zuko and Sokka both scramble to their feet and pretend to look casual at the same time. Shit. Iroh definitely thought this was something that it definitely was not.

“I just received a call from your father, Sokka,” Iroh said. “Apparently you have not been answering his phone calls? Your sister said you had gone to speak to Zuko after school. Hakoda called Ozai and was redirected to me.”

Oh no. Zuko did not relish the thought of the conversation Sokka’s father must have had with Ozai. He was sure it had not been a polite one.

“Oh shit – I mean, oh no,” Sokka said, shooting an apologetic look at Iroh. Zuko rolled his eyes. Iroh heard worse from Zuko on a daily basis. Zuko watched as Sokka hurried towards his bedroom where the two of them had left their backpacks. “I’m gonna give him a call,” Sokka said. “Zuko can you give me a ride home?”

“Sure,” Zuko said.

Once Sokka had disappeared into Zuko’s bedroom Zuko was faced with his uncle looking at him with a smile that was way too knowing.

“So, he seems much nicer than-”

“Do not say it.”

“Fine, I wasn’t going to say that he seems much nicer than Jet.”

“You just said it. And you didn’t even know Jet.”

“I knew only what you told me of him, Nephew,” Iroh said. “My opinion is based entirely on what I’ve heard you say.”

“Whatever. Anyway, it’s not like that. Sokka actually kind of hates me.”

“Clearly,” Iroh said, trying not to smile.

“What, that?” Zuko glanced at the loveseat. “He was just being nice because I was sad.”

“Why were you sad?” Iroh jumped immediately into a concerned mode. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Zuko snapped. “Forget I said that. Anyway, you know me, uncle, I’m always sad.”

Iroh was about to say something else when Sokka returned, holding his phone. “My dad is a little pissed that I didn’t call,” Sokka said. “But it’s almost dinner and he doesn’t want me to miss it. He uh, said to invite you, Zuko.”

“I’ll drive you home,” Zuko said. “I’ll be back for dinner, uncle.”

“You should join Hakoda for dinner.”

“And enjoy a poisoned portion served by Katara. Sounds wonderful,” Zuko scoffed.

“Oh shut up, I accepted tea from you,” Sokka said. “That could’ve been poisoned.” Sokka looked to Iroh. “He’ll be back after dinner. My dad would be personally offended and probably not talk about anything else for a while if someone he invited over didn't accept."

Now it was Sokka’s turn to drag Zuko by the wrist. Zuko did not mind being dragged along, though he wouldn’t have minded if Sokka grabbed him by the hand instead. He followed Sokka downstairs and through the restaurant. Of course, Jin and Mai were now making out behind the counter completely ignoring an angry-looking line of customers.

It was still raining and they ran to get into the car.

It was a bit of an awkward drive. Zuko felt like he’d just confessed all his problems to Sokka – which he kind of had – and now Sokka was inviting him to dinner probably out of pity. Well, pity or not he had trouble watching the road as Sokka took out his ponytail and ran a hand through his wet hair. He had it bad, didn’t he? God damn it.

When they got inside, Hakoda was very welcoming. He introduced himself and explained that he had always been a fan of the Jasmine Dragon and was glad that Zuko was staying with Iroh now. He didn’t have to say that he’d been worried about the prospect of his son hanging out at Sheriff Ozai’s house. It was in the concerned way he looked Sokka up and down to make sure he was okay. He was cooking a meal that smelled amazing but different than anything Zuko had ever smelled before.

“Dinner will be ready soon,” Hakoda announced.

“Thanks, Dad,” Sokka said.

Zuko frowned as he followed Sokka down the hall away from the kitchen. Hakoda had been worried about Sokka. He hadn’t been upset at Sokka for not coming home on time, or not calling. He hadn’t even been upset that Sokka was hanging out with someone who had a reputation for causing trouble. He’d just been glad Sokka was okay. It was nice to see a dad caring like that, without any of the anger or threats that Zuko had come to associate with his own father.

Sokka stopped at a door in the hall. Zuko assumed this must be Sokka’s room. Then, Sokka opened the door and it became clear that this was not the case. Katara and Toph fell off opposite sides of the bed, and Katara shot up and immediately pretended to be straightening a poster of a scantily clad Rihanna. Toph lay down on the floor and pretended to be reading an Advocate magazine.

“Sorry!” Zuko said, throwing his arms up in a universal symbol of surrender, and backing away.

Sokka however, was apparently completely shameless. He marched into what Zuko now realized was Katara’s bedroom and flopped back on the bed. Zuko stared at him with wide eyes. He could not, for the life of him imagine what Sokka was doing. If he’d just walked in on Azula making out with someone he would be halfway across the country by now trying to get away.

“What are you two up to?” Sokka asked, completely relaxed and laying on the bed as Katara and Toph looked mortified and Zuko stood there with his hands still in the air.

“What is Zuko doing here?” Katara asked, glaring.

“Long story. Ish. Dad invited him," Sokka said. "We're kinda frienemies now."

Zuko wasn't sure what to make of that, but he was glad Sokka considered him to no longer make full on enemy status. Frienemy was a step up from 'stupid jerface' right? He couldn't help but smile at Sokka a little.

“Okay…” Katara said. “Well, what are you two doing in my room?” Oh right, this was a humiliating situation. Zuko adjusted his expression to look appropriately embarrassed. Which wasn’t hard when he looked at Katara who was bright red. Toph was still lying on the ground and deliberately moving her eyes back and forth across the magazine, which she was holding upside down.

“We came to hang out while we wait for dinner,” Sokka said, waving for Zuko to come into the room. “I assume you guys were dying of boredom without me.”

“Yeah!” Toph said, dropping the magazine and attempting to jump up and flop back onto the bed next to Sokka but misaiming and landing on top of Sokka. She pretended to have done it on purpose, and stretched out, getting comfy. “We had absolutely nothing to do without our usual comedian around. Sokka, tell a joke right now! Oh, and welcome to the friend group Zuko.”

“Okay, what do you call a ten-armed-” Sokka started to tell his joke.

“Sokka, don’t you think we should go and help your father with dinner?” Zuko asked pointedly interrupting. Sokka was still staring at the ceiling so Zuko made eye contact with Katara and mouthed ‘sorry.’

“What? Nah, he’s got it,” Sokka said.

“I think he looked like he needed help.”

“God, fine,” Sokka mumbled, getting up.

Zuko grabbed Sokka’s hand and dragged him out of the room. Sokka was adorable, Zuko decided, but he was also a bit of a dumbass. Or, maybe he was just really naïve. Dumb ass or not, Sokka’s hand felt really nice in Zuko’s.

Chapter 6: a small scale revolution to make one sad boy happier

Summary:

Then: Sokka and Zuko both made the cast for the school play and later walked in on Katara and Toph in a compromising situation (although Sokka is oblivious to what he walked in on). Suki has a major crush on Ty Lee but she's not planning on acting on it. Ty Lee is trying to get over Azula.

Now: Toph struggles with the secret she and Katara are supposed to be keeping. Ty Lee decides to ask Suki to hang out after school. Sokka and Zuko (mostly Zuko) get way too into rehearsing for the play.

Soon: Katara and Toph have an important discussion. Suki and Ty Lee skip football and cheer practice respectively. Azula deals with her anger. Sokka, Zuko, and Aang come up with a master plan that's going to have a major impact on the future of the friend group for better or worse.

A/N: Full disclosure, the opening scene was written pretty much 100% as a tribute to one of my favorite scenes from the show Never Have I Ever which I just got done binging. Hopefully, I made it work. Anyway, here's a long chapter - I may not post tomorrow because it's my first day back at the office now that quarantine is ending & that's bound to be tiring. Thanks for reading, hopefully you guys enjoy this chapter <3

Chapter Text

“Hm,” Katara said. “That was awkward.”

“Yes,” Toph agreed. Toph heard Katara swallow hard. Toph was still sitting in Katara’s bed. She supposed Katara was standing next to the bed, though of course she couldn’t see her.

She wanted to reach out for her and take Katara’s hand but she hadn’t heard the door close so she couldn’t be sure if someone was standing in the hall. She was pretty sure she’d heard Sokka and Zuko walk away, but she couldn’t risk having miscalculated.

The silence was heavy. Toph hated not being able to be the bold one here. She was used to being the one to reach out and grab Katara and pull her close and wrap her arms around her. She’d always been affectionate and loud about it. Things were different now though, and she couldn’t risk getting them caught - again.

Luckily it didn’t seem like Sokka knew he had caught them. God, she loved Sokka. He was a straight A student, looking into college physics programs, and the first person she went to for advice – but sometimes, sometimes he could be more blind than her. Right now, that was a blessing. Or, Toph guessed it was. More accurately, she tried to convince herself it was. ‘Cause this had to be a secret. Right?

They’d agreed that Katara, having the advantage of sight, should generally be the one to make a move. Just in case. Toph was fighting the urge to say ‘let’s just tell Sokka about us.’

Except, she couldn’t because what did that mean? What was there to tell? They hadn’t talked about it. Were they girlfriends? Friends with benefits? Just gals being pals? It was a distinction they should probably figure out before telling Sokka that they’d spent the better part of the summer making out.

It – whatever ‘it’ was – had started with a kiss - and not to be a cliché – Toph wasn’t sure how it had ended up like this. Ever since Katara had kissed Toph outside the ice cream parlor and Toph had kissed her back they hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other whenever they were alone. Which wasn’t as often as Toph might’ve liked considering Sokka had no idea anything was going on and they’d agreed that they shouldn’t tell him or Aang or Suki or anyone else because it would make things weird for the friend group.

As much as Toph wanted to publicly brag that Katara was her girlfriend and go on public dates with Katara and be able to kiss Katara whenever she wanted – she had to admit that a) Katara might not want to be her girlfriend and b) it probably would make things weird.

She had been friends with Katara, Sokka, Aang and Suki for so long. Their friend group was practically family. Almost in the literal sense when it came to her and Sokka and Katara considering they actually lived together. Which brought up another reason for keeping secrets. Hakoda was very nice. He was very understanding. That didn’t mean he’d be cool with two of the teenagers he was boarding in his house sneaking midnight visits to each other’s rooms for make-out sessions. That went beyond ‘understanding’ and entered the realm of ‘crazy.’

“I’m gonna go help Sokka and Zuko in the kitchen,” Toph announced.

“Wait,” Katara said. Toph found herself hopeful. Maybe Katara wanted to tell Toph that she was in love with her and wanted to be her girl friend, or maybe – “it’s weird that Zuko is here, right?” Or maybe she wanted to talk about Zuko. Damn it.

“I guess,” Toph shrugged. “I’m just glad Sokka didn’t start a fight with him. Looks like his bisexuality is stronger than his outrage,” she laughed.

Katara did not laugh. Toph fought the urge to sigh. “I don’t like it,” Katara said. “I don’t trust him with Sokka, and I don’t like that Sokka forgave him so easily after he was such a jerk to Aang.”

“I mean, it seems like he’s changed,” Toph shrugged.

“Yeah, now he has a hot new hairdo,” Katara said.

“Whoa!” Toph said, feeling righteously outraged. Maybe they weren’t girlfriends or whatever, but that was still a low blow. Her hairdo was hot, right? Of course, she had no way of knowing. But Katara had told her she liked the short messy look!

“I just mean I happen to know Sokka has a weakness for both fringe and sad boys,” Katara scoffed. “Calm down. All I’m saying is that while I don’t think Sokka would purposefully go behind Aang’s back and befriend his bully, he’s got his weaknesses.”

“Whatever,” Toph sighed.

She was trying not to be annoyed with Katara. It’s not like Katara owed her anything. But couldn’t Katara see that this secret was becoming just as likely to mess things up for the friend group by staying a secret as by coming out? And what about forgetting the friend group for a second and talking about how this secret was affecting them? What about how it was affecting Toph? Was that conversation too much to ask for?

Sokka slept down the hall from both of them. He was gonna walk-in at the wrong time at some point. It had practically happened just now. Wasn’t it better to tell him before he found out on his own?

Of course, everything kept coming back to the point that Toph had no idea what it was she wanted to tell Sokka.

‘There’s nothing to tell,’ she thought to herself, trying to be firm.

“I’m gonna see if they need help in the kitchen,” Toph said again. She marched off down the hall, definitely stomping a little.

She found Sokka and Zuko in the kitchen. She could hear someone chopping vegetables, and smell the soup Hakoda was making. She inhaled deeply and grinned.

“Smells great, guys,” she said with a grin. “Need any help?”

“You can help Zuko chop vegetables,” Sokka offered. “Dad went to the neighbor’s to borrow salt.”

“Hey,” came Katara’s voice from the hall. “Can I talk to you, Sokka?”

“Sure,” Sokka said, sounding cheerful.

Toph rolled her eyes. She made her way over to the counter and grabbed a knife from the rack and a cutting board from where they always were leaned against the wall. “Pass a zucchini,” she said to Zuko.

“Uh, should you really be-?”

“I’ve been blind my whole life,” Toph said. “I know how to chop vegetables. Sokka lives with me. He wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t think I had this.”

“Right, sorry,” Zuko muttered, shoving the zucchini into her hands. “I wasn’t trying to be ableist on top of being a delinquent bully.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” Toph said cheerfully. She started cutting the zucchini.

“Wait you live with Sokka?”

“Uh, yeah, you didn’t know that?”

A furious yell from the other room interrupted them.

“WHY WOULD YOU INVITE ZUKO INTO OUR HOME?”

Toph snorted. Of course Katara was confronting Sokka right in the other room where her yells carried with no trouble. She pursed her lips. The sound of Zuko cutting vegetables on the cutting board next to her had stopped and she knew he was frozen.

“He’s nicer now, and he gave me free tea from the Jasmine Dragon. That’s like the nicest tea place around!” Sokka yelled back.

“I don’t care if he agreed to give you free tea for life! Did you forget the time he shoved Aang into a locker? Or the many times he was given ISS for fighting? He is not the kind of person you want to be friends with Sokka.”

“So, Zuko,” Toph said. “What are your hobbies and interests? Outside of shoving people into lockers and starting fights, I mean.”

“You’re the one who told me NOT to start a fight with him, Katara!” came Sokka’s furious response to his sister from the next room.

“I said not to start a fight with him, not to come home wearing his clothes!” Katara roared.

Toph grinned. As long as it wasn’t directed at her, angry Katara was something to behold and she admired every moment of it.

“Oh shit, he’s wearing your clothes? What’d I miss?” Toph asked Zuko, unable to stop grinning.

“I uh, leant Sokka my hoodie…He sort of got wet.”

“Ooh, spicy!”

“In the rain, Toph!”

“He’s a very sad person, Katara,” Sokka said. He’d lowered his voice so he was obviously trying to avoid being overheard from the kitchen. The problem was – again, Sokka was very smart and perceptive for the most part – but sometimes, the guy did not think things through. His quiet voice was one of those things. Because in truth, Sokka did not have a quiet voice. “He cried on my shoulder, Katara! There were so many tears I’m gonna have to put this hoodie through the dryer before I give it back to him!”

“That’s not our problem,” Katara snapped.

“It’s amazing how well sound carries in this house,” Toph said.

“There weren’t that many tears,” Zuko grumbled.

“I think it is,” Sokka said to Katara. “You know how you and Aang are always trying to incite revolutions and organize protests? Well maybe I want a small scale revolution to make one sad boy a little happier.”

“Hah! I told Toph you had a thing for sad boys.”

“I do not have a thing for Zuko!” Sokka hissed. Wow, Toph had definitely never realized how well sound carried in this house. How was it possible Sokka and Hakoda had never overheard her and Katara talking about their little secret? Or had they overheard? Wait what if they had? Shit, shit shit-

“You know, you can tell Sokka I wouldn’t be mad if he had a thing for me,” Zuko said to Toph, interrupting her internal freak out. Great, the poor guy sounded hopeful. She patted him on the shoulder. No way this was ending well. Katara was kind and compassionate and lovely once she decided she liked you. If she didn’t like you, she was one of the scariest people Toph had ever met. Which was great, it was one of the many things she loved about Katara – who didn’t love an angry scary woman? - but she did kinda feel bad for Zuko.

“I didn’t even say you had a thing for Zuko. I think you’re protesting a little too much,” Katara replied to Sokka in the other room.

Toph grabbed an empty pot from the stove and threw it on the ground as hard as she could, hoping to distract Zuko.

"You implied it!" Sokka said to Katara. "And I'm not protesting too much, I am protesting a normal amount for someone being accused of having a thing for Zuko. Just because he was thoughtful enough to give me a ride in the rain and he listens when I talk and has really nice eyes does not mean I have a thing for him. He's super annoying and he sucks at Mario Kart and he's way too emotional. I don't like him, I just want to eat dinner with him and listen to him talk and maybe start a text thread where I send him memes. That's all."

“I uh, kinda thought that was gonna be loud for longer,” Toph admitted, picking up the pot she'd thrown on the ground.

Then Sokka came to her rescue, re-entering the kitchen and clearing his throat. “Hey guys.”

Katara huffed and Toph heard her head to her room. Toph gave Sokka and Zuko a peace sign and followed Katara. As much as she was entertained by Katara’s fury, she was also gonna be there to help calm her down. For Sokka’s sake as much as Katara’s this time.

She stopped when she reached in front of her and found Katara’s door closed. She knocked once. No answer. She sighed, and made her way to her own room. She found Momo asleep on the pillow and stroked his big ears, and lay down next to him.

 

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

 

Ty Lee had no idea why Azula had decided to invite Zuko to sit with them at lunch. Ty Lee had been mad about this for about two seconds until Azula shot her a nasty look and then sat down beside her brother. Ty Lee had looked at Zuko and sighed, and then smiled a little. It wasn’t easy to stay angry with him. Of course, being angry at anyone for any reason had never been Ty Lee's strength. And she couldn't bring herself to stay mad at Zuko. Not when she knew that as his friend – although she hadn’t been acting like a friend lately had she? – she should’ve been happy for him when he moved out.

And the cafeteria table they’d all been sitting at for years - towards the corner, far away from the nerds, and close enough to the jocks and cheerleaders that they could talk to them if they wanted - did feel more complete with him there.

She supposed maybe she’d never been angry. She’d just been worried about Azula. But wasn’t that one of the things she was supposed to be working on? She couldn’t keep making everything about Azula.

Anyway, Azula seemed to be in a better mood than usual. It became obvious pretty fast that her improved mood had everything to do with her reconciliation with her brother. She asked Zuko endless questions about the play, which, apparently Zuko had been cast in. Ty Lee couldn’t be surprised.

She had never met anyone as dramatic as Zuko. He thought of his life as one big theatrical experience, always assuming that if something was big and dramatic to him it must be big and dramatic to everyone. Also, back when Ursa used to take Azula and Zuko to the theatre on a regular basis, she, Azula and Mai had endured him going on for hours about the various failures of the Ember Island Players.

She was happy for him. And she was happy for Azula that she was back on speaking terms with the one member of her immediate family who didn't suck. But she also recognized that she needed separate a little. She was putting way too much weight on what Azula and Zuko were thinking and feeling. Mostly when it came to Azula. She glanced at Mai, who was drawing a picture of Jin in her sketchpad. Mai was as reserved as ever, but there was so much love that she was putting into the picture of her girlfriend.

For so long all their lives had revolved around Azula in one way or another. She’d admitted to herself that hers was a romantic obsession. Maybe it had been the same for Mai, or maybe Mai had just been glad when someone as beautiful and intense and influential as Azula showed her some interest. And Zuko had always been there to look out for his sister and try to make her life a little easier. But now Mai had Jin and she was in therapy and she was hanging out with Zuko away from Azula more often. And Zuko had moved out and started the play. They had their own lives.

Somewhere along the lines, Ty Lee had forgotten to get a life of her own. Sure, she had cheerleading but half the reason she’d tried out was that Azula mentioned how cute she’d look in the uniform. Ty Lee made a promise to herself. She wasn’t going to smoke with Azula after school today. She was going to find someone else to hang out with, for once.

She wasn’t ditching Azula anymore than Mai or Zuko had. She’d convinced herself that Zuko was ditching Azula by moving out, but maybe that had been the part of her that believed having any self-interest was the same as totally ditching Azula. It hadn't been fair of her to think that way about Zuko, and it wasn't fair of her to think that way about herself. She looked over at the table where the jocks and cheerleaders were sitting.

She’d been watching the captain of the football team for a while now. She didn’t have the same obsessive fixation on Suki that she did on Azula, but she had been watching her practice and she liked what she saw. Suki was the kind of girl who was absolutely gorgeous – not to mention ripped – and who also wasn’t afraid to toss a grape in the air and try to catch it in her mouth only to fail while her teammates roared with laughter. She was so fearless.

As Ty Lee watched the jock table, she decided she was going to invite Suki to hang out. She was nervous – she’d never talked to Suki much outside of friendly greetings in the halls – but she was also determined. Anyway, what did she have to be nervous about? She was a cheerleader and she wanted to be friends with a football player. Nothing to be scared of. She was cool and popular and fun. If anything, Suki should be the one intimidated. At least, that's what Ty Lee tried to tell herself. It didn't stop her heartrate from accelerating every time she glanced over at Suki's table.

Suki was just so freaking cool. She was currently throwing potato chips at her teammates who were cracking up and returning fire with Cheetos and Ty Lee could not look away. They looked like they were having so much fun. And Suki was so pretty and funny. It was going to take all her courage to invite this awesome high school goddess to hang out, but she was determined to follow through.

She just going to have to show Suki a fun time. A girl like Suki couldn't just hang out and do something average, she deserved better than that. Ty Lee needed to formulate a plan that would make their hang out session memorable. She could do that. She was a fun girl and she was gonna show Suki as much. She was going to have a good time with someone other than Azula. Yeah! She was hyping herself up in her head now. She was gonna show Suki what an afternoon where Ty Lee called the shots looked like and it was gonna be great.

 

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

 

Suki stretched out her legs and put them on the back of the seat a row below her in the small amphitheater. Rehearsal got out at the same time as football practice but Sokka and Zuko were still up on stage rehearsing their lines. Everyone else including Mr. Pakku had left. She’d been sitting there waiting for them for about twenty minutes and she was pretty close to heading outside to tell Katara, Toph, and Aang that Sokka would once again not be riding with them.

She rolled her eyes when Zuko insisted that he wasn’t getting the ‘truly evil effect’ he wanted when he said his lines and requested that he say them again and this time Sokka give him notes.

She got up to leave then. It was pretty obvious Sokka hadn’t even noticed her enter the theater. Well, Zuko had a car. He could drive Sokka home, or Sokka could walk. Whatever.

She made her way outside and found Katara, Toph, and Aang waiting. For some reason, Toph looked annoyed. Weird. Toph was usually in such a good mood. Suki also noticed that Toph had positioned herself next to Aang instead of Katara, which was unusual. She'd noticed Toph and Katara getting closer over the summer. Of course, they'd always been close but something had changed. It was like when one of them moved, so did the other. Like magnets. Of course, Suki told herself, she was probably overthinking it.

“Hey guys,” she said. “What’s up?”

“Where’s Sokka?” Katara asked.

“Uh, he’s still in rehearsal.”

“Oh well, we can wait,” Aang said, cheerful as ever.

“Uh, I don’t think he’s gonna be done anytime soon,” Suki snorted.

Now it was Katara’s turn to look annoyed. “Let me guess, he’s too busy with his new,” she made air quotations around the next word, “frienemy.”

“Well yeah,” Suki giggled. Katara did not look amused. “Oh come on, Katara,” she said, “just be glad they’re rehearsing their lines instead of, I don’t know, beating the shit out of each other. Who cares?”

“I care,” Katara snapped. “Zuko needs to apologize to Aang before any of us-”

“Honestly Katara,” Aang interrupted. “I don’t care. I’m glad Sokka made a friend in the play. It was a long time ago that Zuko messed with me, and it sounds like he’s a better person now and-”

“And, you’ve always been too forgiving,” Katara sniffed.

One of Katara's best and worst qualities was that she hated anyone who messed with her friends more than the person that had been messed with. When Azula had called Suki a name a few years back Katara had almost gotten into a fistfight with her even though Suki was ready to let it go. It was how Katara showed her love, but right now Suki was worried it wasn't the most productive thing. Also, she had the weird feeling that something else was bothering Katara, something she wasn't in the know about. Toph was being suspiciously quiet. Suki frowned. Yeah, she decided, something was going on that she was missing.

She was about to say something when she noticed someone in a cheerleader outfit approaching them. She gulped. Was Ty Lee – AKA the cutest girl in the entire school – coming over to talk to them? What did she want? Maybe she wanted to talk to Aang? Or Katara? Or Toph?

“Hey Suki,” Ty Lee said in a shy voice. “I have this extra ticket for a ferry ride across the river and I was wondering you wanted to come along?”

Suki’s jaw dropped. She felt the blood rush into her cheeks. She had been watching Ty Lee during cheer practice, fantasizing about holding Ty Lee’s hand, fantasizing about less innocent situations with Ty Lee – for how long now? She was scrambling.

“She’d love to go!” Aang supplied.

“Yeah,” Suki said, giving Aang a grateful look. “Thank you, Ty Lee.”

Ty Lee looked absolutely thrilled. Suki couldn’t believe it. Was that look of pure excitement about hanging out with her? Was such a thing possible? “Great!” Ty Lee said. “Come on,” she grabbed Suki’s hand and guided her away from her friends and towards the sidewalk.

To Suki’s great disappointment, Ty Lee dropped her hand as they continued down the sidewalk.

“We should stop and get coffee,” Ty Lee said, nodding to a little shop selling coffee from the window.

“Okay,” Suki agreed, although if she drank coffee this late in the afternoon she tended to stay up all night.

They waited in line behind a couple holding hands. Suki stared at Ty Lee’s hand, hanging at her side. She was holding her wrist at an odd angle, so that her palm was facing out, almost like she was hoping Suki would take her hand. Suki considered, but her palms felt very sweaty and she was worried that Ty Lee wouldn’t want to hold her sweaty hand. She shoved her hands in the pockets of her letterman jacket.

Ty Lee’s hand was so smooth and manicured. Her nails were very short, and perfectly filed. They were painted deep red with little white hearts on each nail. Suki was so distracted that she didn’t notice when the couple in front of them received their orders and the barista cleared her throat loudly.

“I’ll have a mocha almond chai tea latte with soy milk and extra whipped cream,” Ty Lee said without hesitation.

“I’ll have a uh, hot chocolate,” Suki blurted out. She flushed. ‘Very grown up, nice going,’ she thought to herself.

She dug through her backpack for her wallet but before she could find it, Ty Lee had paid for both their drinks in cash.

“Aw, you’re already giving me the ferry ticket,” Suki said as they took their drinks and started walking again. “You didn’t have to pay for my drink.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I paid with Monopoly money it’s fine.”

“I’m sorry, you WHAT?” Suki asked. She stopped walking to gape at Ty Lee.

Ty Lee shrugged, looking innocent. “I noticed the girl selling coffee was checking me out,” she said. “So I figured she probably wouldn’t notice if I used Monopoly cash.”

Suki started walking again, totally stumped by this one. “So you just carry Monopoly cash with you wherever you go?”

Ty Lee shrugged. “It’s always worth a try,” she said. “And if I get caught, I just play dumb.” Ty Lee stopped walking and Suki did too, to watch whatever Ty Lee was about to do. Ty Lee widened her gray eyes and parted her lips just a little, looking adorably surprised. Then she spoke in a breathy, confused voice that kinda reminded Suki of Midge from ‘That 70’s Show.’ “Monopoly money? Oh my gosh, I had no idea! I am sooo sorry. My total bad.” She grinned, breaking character and flipping her hair. “Half the time the person behind the register feels bad and gives me whatever I was buying for free anyway."

Suki gaped for a second and then she burst out laughing. She found herself doubled over, clutching her stomach, tears streaming down her face. Ty Lee looked very pleased with herself.

“You’re amazing,” Suki said. “How have we never hung out before?”

 

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

 

“Zuko,” Sokka said, laying down across the stage. “It’s late. We’ve been practicing for hours and it is only the first day of rehearsals. Mr. Pakku suggested we run lines a few times outside of official rehearsal time, not that we skip meals to try to be perfect before most people have even memorized their lines. I’ve given you every note I can possibly think of. Please, for the love of God, can we be done for today?”

Sokka did not mind the excuse to hang out with Zuko at all. He knew it pissed Katara off, and he felt bad about that, but he’d feel worse if Aang was the one who was mad. And it didn’t seem like Aang cared at all. So, he didn’t feel too bad about enjoying himself. Still, his stomach was starting to growl and they had been at this for a long time.

Zuko huffed and sat down beside Sokka. “Sorry,” he said. “It’s just that I’m really nervous about performing in front of people. You saw what happened during auditions!”

“I don’t get it though,” Sokka said, sitting up and leaning back on his hands. “You’re good. I mean, you’re talented, you’ve already somehow memorized half your lines. You had the courage to ask Mr. Pakku for a second chance to audition which took guts. What are you so worried about?”

Zuko gritted his teeth. Sokka tried to read his expression. He looked either angry or sad. Maybe both. Sometimes it was hard to tell with Zuko.

“I don’t know,” Zuko said. “I just don’t want to mess up.”

“You won’t,” Sokka said. “Now please, can we go get something to eat?”

“Your father doesn’t’ expect you home for dinner?”

Sokka shrugged. The truth was, he’d texted his dad to let him know he’d be home a little late and that they should go ahead and eat without him. He didn’t know when Zuko usually ate, but Hakoda would normally be serving dinner already. “I told him we were practicing late and not to wait up,” he said.

“Oh," Zuko looked sad all of a sudden. "Now I'm messing with your family time. I should-"

"Oh shut up," Sokka said. Then he felt his face warm up. He was an idiot and Zuko looked a little hurt. He hurried to correct himself, "I just mean, look, don't start with the whole pity party thing. I wanted to stay and practice. Now, I want to get some food. You're not messing with anything, don't worry so much."

"Oh," Zuko said. Then he smiled, just a little and Sokka felt pleased with himself. He decided he loved making Zuko smile. "Well, where do you want to eat?" he asked.

“I don’t know," Sokka said. "There are lots of good places near the river, let’s walk over there and see what looks good.”

As they walked, Sokka talked about Katara and Toph and Suki and Aang and some of the adventures they’d had like the time Appa chased Momo up a tree and they couldn’t get him down for hours, and the time he’d tripped on mushrooms and Suki convinced him his hands were made of jellyfish, and the time he and Katara had gotten lost and ended up getting a ride with a guy with a peg leg, an eye patch, and an actual pet parrot.

Sokka was delighted to find that Zuko seemed to find him hilarious.

Even during his most mundane stories and weakest jokes, Zuko just about lost his mind cracking up. Zuko didn’t seem to have a preference for where they ate, so Sokka picked a wings place and they got ready to head inside. Sokka was feeling on top of the world. If he thought he enjoyed making Zuko smile, it was nothing compared to making Zuko laugh. That was a triumph unlike anything else.

As they were about to go in, Zuko grabbed his shoulder and pointed to the river. “Is that the ferry that usually goes across?” he asked.

Sokka gaped. It was, in fact, the ferry that usually went back and forth across the river. Except it was hurtling downstream at full speed right now. He and Zuko exchanged looks of alarm.

“Should we uh, call someone?” he asked although he had absolutely no clue who to call in a situation like this.

Then the ferry approached and Sokka’s jaw dropped even more. Because there were only two people aboard that he could see. One was wearing jeans and a baggy shirt and the other was in a cheerleader uniform and a letterman jacket. Was that – ?

“Is that Suki and Ty Lee?” Zuko asked.

“I…think so?”

“Hey!” Ty Lee said, leaning over the railing and waving.

“Ty Lee, what are you doing?” Zuko called.

“I’m showing Suki how to have a good time!” The ferry was moving very fast and Ty Lee rushed towards the back so she was leaning over and looking back at them as it moved away. “Hey Sokka, just a friendly FYI, Zuko sucks at making the first move – as his friend I’m just saying – you should kiss him!” she was yelling at the top of her lungs as she hurtled away from them down the river.

Zuko coughed and muttered something that Sokka could’ve sworn was “I wish,” under his breath.

“What?” he asked, turning to Zuko as the ferry sped away.

“What?” Zuko repeated, not meeting Sokka’s eyes.

Other people had also been staring at the ferry, and as the ferry got farther away some of the curious stares moved to Sokka and Zuko. Probably because Zuko had decided it was a good idea to make it clear they knew the girls on the very possibly stolen ferry. They looked at each other and then hurried inside the restaurant away from the gazes of confused onlookers.

Chapter 7: they fuck you up your mom and dad...they fill you with the faults they had, and add some extra, just for you

Summary:

Katara makes an important decision about her relationship with Toph. Azula crosses some lines. Sokka and Aang come up with an ill-conceived plan to help Katara and Toph. Zuko accidentally discovers a note from Sokka stating how Sokka feels about him.

CW: emotional child abuse, mentions of physical violence towards animals and children

Chapter Text

Katara stood on the edge of the pond picking apart the PB&J she hadn’t eaten for lunch and tossing the pieces to the ducks. She was hungry, but she didn’t feel like eating. She was too preoccupied to eat, but she also didn’t know what to do with herself which was frustrating.

She and Toph hadn’t talked since Toph pretty much took Sokka’s side in the whole Zuko argument. Of course, Aang had taken their side as soon as he knew there were sides to take. Because someone could pour soup in Aang’s lap and he’d apologize to them. He was even hanging out with Sokka and Zuko right now, the traitor.

She knew if Aang could get over Zuko being an asshole to him in the past, she should get over it. She knew that – if she forced herself to look at it objectively – Sokka having a friend in the play was good. She knew that she didn’t have the very most logical reason in the world for disliking Zuko.

Because why was she really upset? A little voice in the back of her head that she was doing everything in her power to ignore told her it was because Zuko had seen her and Toph. He’d mouthed ‘sorry’ to her while Sokka barged into the room being his loud, unapologetic self. He knew. He knew about her and Toph and Katara was sure he was telling Sokka and Aang right now.

She accidentally threw a piece of her mutilated sandwich way too hard and hit a duck directly in the face. It quacked indignantly and flapped its wings at her. She sat down in the grass feeling very sorry for herself. She couldn’t even make a stupid duck happy.

A laugh from behind her interrupted her thoughts and she twisted around without getting up. Great. Just fucking great. The very last person she wanted to see.

“Hi Azula,” she grumbled, turning back towards the pond and looking ahead.

Azula was still laughing as she walked over and sat beside Katara. “I get it. I also enjoy throwing things at animals when I’m angry,” she said.

Katara glared. “I didn’t mean to do that. I was trying to feed him.”

“Whatever,” Azula said, tossing her hair. “So what’s pissing you off today, princess?”

Why? Why did Azula have to pick now to be an asshole? Didn’t she have minions to boss around or something? Katara recalled Ty Lee asking Suki to hang out after school the previous day. It had also been a minute since she’d seen just Mai and Azula hanging out. Huh. Maybe even Azula’s faithful lapdogs were getting tired of her shit.

“I’m not pissed,” Katara growled, “and why do you give a shit?”

“Excuse me for making conversation,” Azula scoffed. “You looked like you needed someone to vent to.”

Katara twisted around and stared at Azula. If it were anyone else, Katara might’ve accepted the chance to vent. She wouldn’t have told the truth of course, but if she kept things vague enough maybe some complaining would’ve been nice. This was Azula though.

This was the person who had thrown rocks at her, Sokka and Aang in kindergarten during recess. The person who had stuck out her leg and tripped Toph on her first day of fourth grade at a new school. The person who had noticed and pointed out when Suki gained weight over the summer after eighth grade. This was the person who had started a rumor last year that Katara spied on the girl’s changing room after gym class and the person who had mocked Sokka loudly in the cafeteria when his voice changed.

Azula was a tyrant and she probably wanted Katara to share what was bothering her to use it against her. Because that’s what she did. She did it to everyone, even the people who trusted her. Katara had heard her mocking Mai’s troubles with expressing emotions, and telling Ty Lee that she’d never be worth anything to a guy if she didn’t have her looks. She knew Azula and she knew she only ever listened to people to find out their weaknesses.

“Azula,” she said in a slow, clear voice like she was talking to someone who was rather slow, “I will never vent to you about my problems because we are not friends. I’m sorry that Mai and Ty Lee have realized what a coldhearted bitch you are and ditched you and that Zuko ran away to his uncle’s to get away from you, but I am not the person to come to looking for a new mean girl sidekick. Leave me the fuck alone.”

Azula’s expression shifted. Her eyes got huge and for a second, Katara felt a wave of guilt. There was a brief moment there where she almost thought Azula was going to cry. Of course, that would never happen though. Azula didn’t have feelings.

Azula twisted her face into a cruel smirk, and she stood up. Katara remained sitting in the grass, so Azula was literally looking down on her. “I wouldn’t want to be friends with a freak like you if you were the last person on earth, Katara. I’m surprised you’re not lining up to kiss my ass, though. You may be right about me being a coldhearted bitch, but at least I’m respected and feared. There’s not a boy or girl in school who would dare to turn down a date with me. Meanwhile, you’re sad, ugly, and unpopular,” she laughed. “You’d be lucky to score with a blind person. So, before assuming I want anything from you, I think you should take a second to question your worth as a person. Maybe you’ll realize it’s nothing.” She hissed out the last word, meeting Katara’s eyes as she said it. “You hear me?” she asked when Katara didn’t respond. “You are nothing.”

Katara sat there for a second, stunned. Then she scoffed and threw the last bit of her sandwich to the duck she’d accidentally hit in the face. It quacked, and ate the bread, then jumped in the pond and glided away across the water causing ripples in Katara and Azula’s reflections. She was feeling something – what was it? Not hurt, or even anger.

The feeling came to her as she considered her rippling reflection in the pond. She wasn’t ugly, and if she was a freak that didn’t bother her. She did actually count herself lucky to have scored with a certain blind person, though Azula had no way of knowing that. She didn’t think she was worth nothing. Azula had once been so good at coming up with the cruelest possible insults. There’d been a time when she could make Katara cry without breaking a sweat.

Now all Katara felt for Azula was pity. Because Azula was the one who was nothing. Here she was, standing next to Katara and waiting for a reaction because the only human interaction she thrived on was hurting other people to make herself feel better.

Well, Katara wasn’t going to give Azula the reaction she wanted. Instead, she just sat there, staring at the pond. Azula glared.

“Aw, are you too insecure and self-loathing to even respond?”

“No,” Katara said. “I just want to be left alone.”

“What’s the matter? Have you gone soft? Or maybe you just don’t know how to argue because everything I’m saying is true. Should I tell you what I really think of your nerdy little friends, or-”

“I know what you think of me and my friends,” Katara sighed. “I don’t care.”

“There was a time you would’ve gotten up and hit me for insulting you like that,” Azula said. “Go on, Katara, tell me more about what a bitch I am.”

“There was a time I cared enough to hit you,” Katara said, without looking up. “And that time is over. Honestly, Azula, now I’m just embarrassed for you and I feel kinda bad for you. You’re going to graduate soon. You know you can’t just walk up to a college professor or your boss and tell them what a worthless piece of shit they are right? It’s time for you to grow the hell up and learn to deal with your anger.” She put as much of a condescending tone in her voice as she could when she said that last bit.

Azula’s reflected expression reached a new height of anger around the time Katara said she felt bad for her. She probably should’ve left it at that, but she was already in a bad mood, and taunting Azula was distracting her from all the other things she didn’t want to think about. On some level, she was aware that making other people feel worse to make herself feel better was kinda the exact thing she hated Azula for doing, but that thought was buried right now as she reveled in the distraction Azula was providing.

She didn’t look up from their reflections in the pond until she saw Azula’s reflected hand clench into a fist. Then, she turned around just in time to be punched in the jaw so hard that she was propelled several feet directly into the pond. The water wasn’t deep, and she got up right away. As she looked down, she found that she was covered in mud and seaweed. Azula was walking away fast. Katara didn’t bother to follow her.

What good would it do? Sure, she could run after Azula and punch her back but all that would lead to would be an assault charge. It wouldn’t matter that Azula threw the first punch because Azula’s daddy was a cop and he’d be sure to make a big deal out of how his little angel had been walking away when scary unhinged Katara ran after her.

Either way, Katara would be covered in pond muck. She stepped back onto the grass and began the walk back home where warm dry clothes awaited her. ‘Well,’ she thought, ‘that was a perfect end to a perfect day.’

Her jaw ached. It was the kind of hard, burning pain that got worse gradually. By the time she was almost home it was on fire. It hurt a thousand times worse now than during the brief moment when Azula’s fist had collided with her face.

She dug around in her freezer for an ice pack, hoping that she’d be able to make it to her room before anyone saw her. She could hear Sleeping with Sirens blasting from Toph’s room, and she knew Sokka was still out with Zuko and Aang probably talking about her. She settled for a bag of frozen peas and was about to head to her room when she closed the freezer and found herself face to face with her dad.

“Dad!” she said. “Hi. How are you? How was work? Anyway, I should go-”

“Katara!” he said, grabbing the side of her face that hadn’t been hit and leaning in to examine her hurt jaw. “What happened?”

“Oh, you know me,” Katara said, trying to keep her tone light. “I ran into a tree.”

He raised his eyebrows at her.

She sighed. “Dad, I’m fine.”

“Okay,” he said in a tone that implied that a Conversation with a capital ‘C’ was about to happen. He sat down in a kitchen chair and patted the seat beside him.

Katara opted for sitting on the counter and held the frozen peas against her jaw. She didn’t say anything. If he wanted to talk, he should talk. But he was looking at her in a weird way that made her uncomfortable. It was like he knew something and wanted her to say it. Which she was so not ready for.

“Katara, you know I love you no matter what, right?” he asked.

“Of course.”

“You know I enrolled in an online college queer studies course when your brother came out as bisexual and have attended Pride with him every summer since.”

“Uh, yeah?” she said. “Why are you bringing this up?” The music from down the hall had stopped and Katara was positive that they were being listened to now. Her heart was beating fast. She so didn’t want to talk about this.

“Because, I want you to know that I’d accept you no matter who you love, okay?”

Katara felt her eyes stinging and she wiped at them. She knew it, of course, and she hated that he thought she was doubting it. She jumped down from the counter and wrapped her arms around her dad’s shoulders. He hugged her back, squeezing hard, and she felt a huge wave of guilt.

Because she knew he’d accept her. She wasn’t worried about that at all, and she didn’t want him to think she was but she also couldn’t talk to him or anyone else about the thing that she was worried about. It was too hard to put into words.

As she hugged her dad though, she could kind of think about it even if she couldn’t have articulated it. She was worried – although terrified might have been a more accurate word – because she had never loved anyone the way she loved Toph and she was positive she was going to mess it up. She had loved Toph like family for years. She loved her in this intense, protective way that was so heavy it was overwhelming. She loved Sokka and Aang and Suki with the same intensity but ever since she’d gotten brave and leaned in and kissed Toph the way she’d dreamed about so many times before, a new layer had been added to the way Katara felt about her.

She loved intensely, and she wasn’t capable of doing anything casually. That wasn’t in her nature. She held nothing against girls who could have casual flings and kiss just for fun – truthfully, she was jealous of girls like that. It just wasn’t something Katara could do.

And that scared her more than anything.

What if all Toph wanted was to have a little fun and all their touching and kissing didn’t mean anything to her? Or, what if Toph did want something more real but Katara couldn’t make her happy? Or, what if they tried to be girlfriends and messed it up and she lost Toph as a friend?

That last option would be the worse. It was the reason she had been avoiding Toph ever since Zuko caught them. It was the reason she couldn’t stand that Sokka and Aang were hanging out with Zuko right now potentially finding out that something was going on. What if he told them and Toph was angry or hurt? Or what if he told them and it made things awkward and the friendships Katara had come to rely on were never the same again? She couldn’t handle losing Toph. She’d rather have her as a friend forever than have her as a girlfriend for a moment only to have things end.

She was going to have to do something, though. Zuko knew and that meant it was a matter of time before Sokka and Aang and Suki found out. Hakoda might not know the details but it was obvious he knew something. Yeah, she was going to have to do something. She just needed to prepare herself for what she had to do.

 

* * * * * * * * *

 

“Hello,” Zuko said in a very serious voice, meeting Appa’s big brown eyes. “Thank you for agreeing to meet me here. I mean, I know you’re mostly meeting Sokka. But I’m here too! And I wanted to tell you that I was a jerk to you in the past.” Hmm, probably not the best thing to point out. Good thing he was rehearsing this speech to Appa while Aang finished a phone call and Sokka searched for the frisbee that Appa had been unable to find in the woods. “Well, you know about that already,” he went on, “but I wanted to say that I hope we can be friends now. The thing is, Sokka is really nice and good looking and – not that that’s why I’m apologizing though! Oh wait, I forgot to say the actual apology part, didn’t I? Well, listen-”

“It’s totally fine,” came a laughing response. Zuko jumped up from where he was sitting in the grassy field where he and Sokka had been playing frisbee with Appa while they waited for Aang to be done talking on the phone with Suki. Appa did not approve of Zuko no longer being at eye level, and he made that clear by putting his paws on Zuko’s shoulders and licking him across the face.

“Oh, you heard all that?” he asked as Aang stood there, looking amused. Zuko gently pushed Appa down from his shoulders and patted his head.

“It’s fine,” Aang said again. “I know you’re trying for a fresh start this year and I think that’s great. Non-apology accepted.”

“Really?” Zuko beamed. “Wow, that was way easier than I thought it would be.” As soon as he said it, he realized what a stupid thing to say it was. He slapped his palm across his forehead. “I’m so sorry, that’s not what I meant to say.”

“Let’s just play some frisbee,” Aang said, laughing.

Sokka at last returned, covered in leaves, and carrying the frisbee. “Oh good,” he said. “You two are friends now. What did Suki want?”

Aang groaned, but he had an amused look in his eyes. “To tell me about how much she likes Ty Lee in way more detail than I asked for. They skipped cheer and football practice. Ty Lee went to the bathroom and Suki called me to tell me how great it’s going.”

Sokka laughed. “Good for her,” he said. “You know Ty Lee stole a boat for her?”

“What?”

“Yeah! We saw them, didn’t we Zuko?”

“Yeah,” Zuko agreed, but he didn’t laugh along with Sokka and Aang. He had known Ty Lee for a long time, and he loved her, but he wasn’t sure Sokka and Aang should be happy about their friend dating her.

“Oh don’t look so mad, I know your dad’s a cop but it’s just us here,” Sokka said. “You can admit, that was pretty romantic.”

“It’s not that,” Zuko said. Actually, being annoyed about the stolen boat was the last thing on his mind. That was pretty par for the course for Ty Lee. “It’s just that well, Ty Lee is kind of…she’s very nice. She just…” he was regretting saying anything. Because what was he supposed to say? ‘Ty Lee is kind of in love with my sister and everyone else she dates is just a distraction,’ seemed like a shitty thing to say out loud, even if it was true. “Does Suki know what she’s getting herself into?”

“Aw, Suki’s not as vanilla as you think,” Sokka laughed.

“Yeah, I think they’d be cute together,” Aang said. “Although Katara’s gonna blow a fuse when she finds out yet another member of our friend group wants to date someone close to Azula.”

“Another?” Zuko choked out, trying not to look at Sokka. What did that mean? Did he have a chance -? No, no way, he wasn’t even going to let himself think that. Because it was way too crazy and getting his hopes up was a bad idea.

“Uh, I didn’t mean that!” Aang said. “Um, Appa! Fetch!” he tossed the frisbee across the field and Appa ran after it while the three of them watched.

They tossed the frisbee around while Appa chased it until Sokka started complaining about being hungry and Zuko gave him the beef jerky he’d packed in his backpack specifically because he noticed Sokka got hungry a lot. They sat down in the grass again for their break, and Appa lay his head in Aang’s lap and Sokka laid down with his head against Appa. There was a casual intimacy to their friendship that Zuko hadn’t quite experienced before, not even with Mai. No matter how close he got with her, she’d been Azula’s friend first and that would always mean something. Now that he thought about it, his only other friend – Ty Lee – had also been Azula’s friend first. Huh. Not great.

There was something so soft about the way Sokka and Aang just lay all over each other and enjoyed the lazy afternoon. Aang had been way nicer than Zuko deserved, and when it came down to it, so had Sokka. Zuko couldn’t look away from Sokka. He told himself he was just excited to have a new friend as cool and funny and kind as Sokka, but maybe there were some feelings other than friendship fighting to emerge. Sokka just looked so handsome laying there in the sun all smiles, his ponytail crooked from leaning against Appa.

Zuko was sure he’d never be able to let down his guard completely like Sokka and Aang did. Sure, he’d ended up crying on Sokka’s shoulder the first time they hung out, but that had been a moment of vulnerability in his own home as he contemplated his sister alone with Ozai. Also, expressing negative emotions had always come easier for Zuko than expressing anything positive. Surprise tears? Sure! Angry yelling? Why not! Happily relaxing with his friends? Yikes.

He’d had it ingrained in him at too young an age that he should always have his guard up. Even the most casual and fun situation could turn to violence at any moment. His therapist was convinced that with time, he’d become used to not anticipating physical and emotional pain every time he let himself relax, but Zuko wasn’t so sure. He hated his dad for scarring him like that. The physical burn across his face was painful to look at, but if he just avoided mirrors and cameras he was fine. The reluctance to assume he was wanted anywhere – let alone in a cuddle pile with an adorable dog and an even more adorable boy – that wasn’t something he imagined he could get over.

“Don’t just stand there awkwardly, Zuko,” Aang laughed, “get in here.”

“Yeah,” Sokka said, and he leaned forward and reached out and grabbed Zuko’s hand, tugging him down so that Zuko’s head was next to Sokka’s on the fluffy pillow that was Appa.

Zuko kept his entire body tensed to avoid any sudden movements. He gasped when he felt Sokka stretch beside him. Sokka was laying very close and he had no idea what to do with the way he felt about that.

“So Sokka, have you noticed Katara and Toph acting kinda weird lately?” Aang asked.

“Uh yeah, actually,” Sokka said. “The other day Zuko and I went into Katara’s room just to hang out with them and Katara totally flipped. I mean, I guess she was angry at me for inviting Zuko over but I don’t know. It was a major overreaction.”

“Hmm,” Aang sounded thoughtful. “That is odd. What did you make of it, Zuko?”

“What?” Zuko was stunned. Sokka turned his head so he was looking curiously at Zuko with an innocent expression. “Are you guys…did you not…?” Zuko stared at Sokka, who was waiting patiently for Zuko to get through the simple task of saying a sentence. “I…I don’t know what I made of it,” Zuko managed to say.

So Sokka seriously hadn’t realized what was happening when they’d walked into Katara’s room? And Aang wanted to know what he, Zuko, made of the interaction? What was he supposed to say - ‘well I’m not sure how to tell you guys this, but sometimes when a girl loves another girl they like to show it a physical way’? Zuko was baffled and he wasn’t about to out Katara and Toph so he decided to say as little as possible during this conversation.

“Yeah, something is going on with those two,” Sokka said. Sokka was back to looking at the clouds which gave Zuko a chance to stare at Sokka.

Sokka and Aang continued to speculate about what was going on between Katara and Toph and Zuko allowed himself to zone out of the conversation and instead watch the shadows of clouds dancing across Sokka’s face and think about how nice it was to have friends like Sokka and Aang. He could call them friends now, right? They’d invited him to hang out after school. Sokka had bought him food the day before. That meant they were friends now. Right?

“Hm, you’re more objective than us, Zuko,” Aang said. “What do you think?”

“About what?” Shit, he’d totally forgotten to listen to what they were saying.

“About Katara and Toph – do you think maybe they like each other?”

“Well, they’re friends aren’t they?” Zuko hedged.

“No, no,” Sokka said with a laugh like Zuko was the naïve one here. “Like, do you think they might have romantic feelings for each other?”

“Uh….” He was hoping he wouldn’t have to say anything else, but Sokka was staring at him expectantly. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“We should try to come up with a plan,” Aang said decisively.

“Plan?” Zuko asked. God damn it. God fucking damn. Fuuuck. He was gonna become involved in something that was going to lead to Katara hating him even more than she already did, wasn’t he?

“Yeah!” Sokka said, sounding excited. “Ooh, I know. We should write a note for Katara confessing and say it’s from Toph.”

“That’s a genius idea, Sokka,” Aang agreed.”

Okay seriously? ‘Don’t get involved, don’t get involved, don’t get involved,’ Zuko chanted internally to himself.

When Aang stood up, since Appa had been resting his head in Aang’s lap, Appa stood up as well causing Sokka and Zuko who had been resting on Appa to fall backward into the grass. They got up and watched Aang dig around in his backpack. Eventually, he found a notepad and pen and sat down with the notepad in his lap. Sokka sat down next to Aang, looking over Aang’s shoulder.

“Dear Katara,” Aang read aloud as he wrote. “I think I might have feelings for you.”

“Don’t you guys think this plan might have some...flaws?” Zuko hedged, sitting down with them.

“Like what?” Aang asked. “You don’t think Toph would write that?”

“No, I just…never mind.” Yeah, he was staying out of this one.

“Zuko, can you get my colored pencils out of my backpack?” Sokka asked without taking his eyes off Aang’s letter.

Zuko rolled his eyes but went over dug through Sokka’s backpack. He found an essay on modern colonialism with an A+ and a note from Mr. Tyro about how thoughtful it was, an AP physics test with a score of 100%, and a crumbled note. He wouldn’t have looked except he saw his own name and was overwhelmed with curiosity.

He glanced over at Sokka and Aang, still absorbed in their letter. He unwrapped the note while pretending to be going through the backpack’s contents in search of the colored pencils.

Written in messy pencil: How’d your date with Ty Lee go?

Written in neat, blocky letters in pen: It went well. As you saw, she does not do things halfway

The pencil user - whom Zuko guessed was Sokka – wrote: Guess not lol!

Next to that note, was a scribbled rectangular shape with some sort of line and scribbled shape attached to the line. After a second, Zuko realized it was supposed to be a picture of a boat. Ah, of course.

The pen user – who was probably Suki: What about you? Did you kiss Zuko like Ty Lee said? We have bet going.

Sokka: We’re just friends

Suki: Sure, Jan….so you didn’t kiss him?

Sokka: No!

Suki: Hah! Ty Lee owes me $20

Sokka: Fuck you

“Hey, did you find those colored pencils yet?”

“Not yet.”

Just friends? Zuko was glad his back turned. He didn’t need Sokka and Aang to see his expression. Sokka thought they were ‘just friends,’ did he? That was a lot to take in, honestly. He wanted to keep looking at the note and tracing his finger across the scribbled word: ‘Friends.’

Zuko could not stop smiling.

He was sure he looked like an idiot. Sokka thought they were friends! He thought Zuko was his friend! This was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and very possibly the best thing that had ever happened to anyone in the history of the universe.

The colored pencils were buried under a half-empty bag of chips and an essay on microbiology with a long note from Mr. Piando about how brilliant Sokka’s ideas were. Huh. Maybe Zuko’s initial thought that Sokka got by on his good looks was wrong. He grabbed the colored pencils, making a mental note to ask Sokka for help with homework in the future, and walked over to where Aang and Sokka were sitting.

Watching Sokka color a picture of Katara on the back of the ill-conceived love note was a lot of fun. Aang ended up getting distracted and going back to playing with Appa, but Zuko sat behind Sokka in the grass and watched him work. He was invested in the work with his whole heart, it was visible in his focus and care. Zuko found himself leaning forward so his chin was almost resting on Sokka’s shoulder.

“I know,” Sokka said, turning around and looking annoyed. “I’m not the best artist. So sue me.”

“What?” Zuko realized how close he’d gotten, and backed up. Admittedly, the picture was pretty bad. If Katara decided to burn this note, that would be understandable. “No,” he said. “I guess I just got distracted watching you work.”

“Oh,” Sokka flushed. Zuko couldn’t imagine anything cuter than Sokka blushing. “So you think this idea will work?” Sokka asked.

“Uh….I think…that you and Aang are both very smart, and that you care about Katara and Toph a lot.” That was a mostly truthful response at least.

 

* * * * * * * * *

 

Cheer practice schmeerpractice. Ty Lee had never regretted anything less than she regretted convincing Suki to ditch practice with her. She and Suki were in a janitor’s closet and she was kissing Suki and it was everything she’d fantasized it would be. If she could just ignore the stupid buzzing coming from her backpack she’d be good.

As soon as her phone stopped ringing though, it started again.

“Do you need to get that?” Suki asked.

“Nah,” she said, kissing Suki’s jaw and running her hand through Suki’s hair and ignoring the buzzing. As soon as it stopped it started again. “Jesus Christ,” she said, separating herself from Suki. “I’m so sorry, let me just see who it is.”

“It’s fine,” Suki said, kissing her on the cheek.

Ty Lee unzipped her backpack and groaned. Azula’s contact information flashed across the screen. Looking at the time, she realized cheer practice was over by now. She remembered Zuko saying he was going to hang out with Sokka and Aang after rehearsal, and she had heard Mai on the phone with Jin talking about meeting up. Azula had probably waited for them in the parking lot where they usually met up and no one else had shown. She had to answer and at least explain.

Ty Lee swiped her finger across the screen to answer. “Hey girl,” she said, trying to sound cheerful.

“Ty Lee,” Azula said, sounding even more intense than usual. “I need you to meet me outside school right now.”

“Uh, I’m kinda busy,” Ty Lee said, glancing at Suki who was waiting patiently.

“This is more important,” Azula said in a way that implied this settled it. And it did.

Ty Lee gave Suki a desperate look. She liked Suki. And Suki didn’t boss her around. Suki complimented her cheering and told her she always liked hearing what she had to say during book discussions in AP lit. Suki valued her as a person. But Azula needed her.

“Well?” Azula said. “Are you almost outside?”

“I’m…” Ty Lee rocked back and forth on her heels, looking at Suki and willing her to understand. Azula didn't have many people she could always rely on. Ty Lee had to be there for her, no matter what. “I’m on my way,” she said in a small voice and hung up.

“Everything okay?” Suki asked.

“I’m not sure,” Ty Lee said. “Azula needs me to meet her.”

“Well, can’t you meet her another time?” Suki asked. Ty Lee looked down and didn’t answer. “God,” Suki said, throwing her hands up. “Don’t you get tired of her always bossing you around? Don’t you ever get bored of dropping everything just because she asks you to?”

Ty Lee sighed. “You don’t understand.”

“Oh, I think I might.”

“She needs me.”

“Well, what about what you need?” Suki asked. “I’m not trying to be a bitch here, Ty Lee, I’m serious. I’m sorry but I see the way she treats you and it’s bullshit. She has no respect for you.”

Despite having been thinking the same thing lately, Ty Lee felt defensiveness well up in her. “You don’t know her like I do. She just comes off as mean because she’s had to build up walls her whole life.”

“Whatever,” Suki said. She sighed, but it wasn’t an angry sigh that made Ty Lee think Suki wouldn’t forgive her. It was kind of a sad sigh.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” Ty Lee said.

Suki just nodded, and Ty Lee left the janitor’s closet. She expected Suki to follow, but when she turned around, Suki was looking away and wiping at her eyes so she looked away too and hurried off before she could think too much about that. She couldn’t just abandon Azula. Sure, she could hang out with other people. She could try to have her own life - but at the end of the day, if Azula asked her to come Ty Lee was already there.

She ran outside and froze. A bright red Porsche was pulled up in front of the school. The song ‘Bad Girls’ by M.I.A was blasting so loud the car was shaking. The security guards and the few kids who were still hanging around out front were all staring. A guy walking down the sidewalk was gaping and had his eyes so firmly glued to the car that he ran directly into a pole.

The passenger seat window rolled down and Azula waved at Ty Lee, grinning from the driver’s seat. Ty Lee had never seen her look so gorgeous. She swallowed hard. Azula was waving her over.

She walked over to the Porsche in a dazed state, gaping. Without being fully aware of what she was doing he opened the passenger side door and got in, slamming it behind her. Azula hit the gas and they were off at a speed that was entirely unreasonable for the pedestrian trafficked neighborhood they were in.

Azula took a long way home so that they had plenty of time to enjoy the Porsche’s speed. They didn’t talk on the way to Azula’s house because Azula blasted music so loud Ty Lee couldn’t hear herself think the entire ride. Eventually, though, Azula did park in front of her house. She turned off the music and grinned at Ty Lee.

“Can you believe it?” she laughed. “My dad really broke the bank for me.”

“It’s amazing,” Ty Lee agreed, stroking the dashboard. “I can’t believe he really got it for you.”

“Well, there were conditions,” Azula admitted, and for a second her excited demeanor faltered.

“Like what?” Ty Lee asked.

“Well, he wants me to at least try the academy before I apply to any colleges. Which makes sense, I mean-”

“What?” Ty Lee asked, horrified. “The police academy? Come on Azula, you don’t wanna do that.”

“Well, if I don't like it I can always change my mind and go to college. And obviously, since he’s paying for the car he’ll be keeping track of where I take it, which means I won’t be moving out any time soon.”

“Azula…” Ty Lee didn’t know what to say. She felt kind of sick to her stomach. She regretted ever getting in the Porsche. She regretted telling Azula how fun it would be to have a fancy car like this. Suddenly, she wished she’d never answered Azula’s call and that made her feel like the shittiest friend in the world. She couldn't listen to this, though. She'd heard it all a hundred times - Azula's desperate plans to make Ozai proud. And none of them would ever work.

“Oh don’t look like that,” Azula scoffed. “It’s not a big deal. I completely understand where my father is coming from. I’m not Zuko, you know, I-”

“No!” Ty Lee said. She was horrified to find that she was tearing up. “You’re not Zuko. Because he was smart enough to get the hell out.”

“What are you going on about?” Azula asked. To anyone else, she might’ve sounded casual but Ty Lee recognized the shaking in her voice.

“Don’t do this,” she said, meeting Azula’s eyes. “Tell your dad to take the Porsche back. Tell him to shove it up his ass.”

“Are you crazy?”

“No! But I’m starting to think you might be! Why?” she was yelling now, although she’d never intended to. “Why would you do this to yourself, Azula?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“God, Azula,” Ty Lee slammed her fist against the dashboard of the car. “I can’t do this. I can’t keep coming running every time you call me because I’m fucking worried about you. You need to decide to get somewhere safe, and you need to get yourself help. It’s too much for me, okay?”

Azula’s eyes narrowed. “I had no idea you felt so responsible for me,” she said. “Rest assured, I never expected you to.”

“Good,” Ty Lee said, opening the car door. “Because I’m done.”

Suddenly, Azula’s whole demeanor changed. She looked scared. And Ty Lee couldn’t take that. She was about to turn and walk away so she didn't have to see Azula's scared face when Azula leaned across the seats and grabbed her shoulders and kissed her.

Ty Lee was frozen at first. She’d been imagining what it would be like to be kissed by Azula for how many years now? She was in love with Azula and it was the kind of love you just didn’t get over. She climbed back into the car and kissed Azula back.

“Don’t be done,” Azula said, wrapping her arms around Ty Lee and continuing to kiss her. Ty Lee felt Azula’s cheek press against hers and it was damp. Azula was crying.

“I…” She pulled away. Because she could feel the need and desperation in Azula’s kiss and if she kept kissing her she might forget all the reasons she shouldn’t. “I have to,” she said.

She got out of the car, leaving Azula looking stunned, and slammed the door. Hating herself, she walked away. As she walked, she started to cry. She cried the whole walk home, and when she got to her house, her sisters were arguing about something and her parents were fixated on the TV and no one asked her what was wrong.

 

* * * * * * * * *

 

Azula gaped. Ty Lee and Mai were going to flip their shit when they saw this. Ozai was holding out the keys with a red bow on them, and standing on the porch. She couldn’t wait to show this beautiful car off. As soon as cheer practice was over, she was taking Ty Lee for a ride. She tore her gaze away from the red Porsche and looked at her father.

“Is this really for me?” she asked.

“Of course princess,” Ozai said. He was smiling, and his demeanor was friendly, but Azula knew better than to trust what she was seeing. She approached with caution and he placed the keys in her hand. She could hardly believe they were real. “Now, please keep in mind, I’m giving you the best and I expect the best behavior in return.”

“Of course,” she said. She was always on her best behavior. It was never good enough.

“Azula,” he said, grabbing her chin and tilting her head so she was looking at him. “Everything you have is because of me. Don’t forget that.”

“I won’t.”

“You are nothing without me,” he said. “You hear me? You are nothing.”

She nodded. He let go of her chin and walked away. She understood the connotation of his words without him needing to say it. She would attend the police academy and join the force with her dad. She would not be moving away next spring for college like her friends. She would stay here and do whatever Ozai asked. Then maybe he would see. She wasn’t nothing. She was strong and smart and brave and she would make him see it and then – well she couldn’t let herself think about what she hoped would happen then. Because it was crazy. It was a fantasy she’d do better to ignore. She looked down at the keys though, and she let herself have a rare moment where she was consciously allowed to hope for the thing she really wanted.

When she proved herself, then he’d apologize.

It was the kind of thing she knew better than to hope for. Still, what else was she supposed to cling onto? What else was she fighting for here? In her fantasy, she was able to be everything he wanted and he could see that he was wrong to have broken her down the way he did.

The first place she drove her new car was to a pond her mother had sometimes taken her and Zuko to back when she was around. She got out of the car and noticed Katara sitting by the pond. She decided that today, she was in a giving mood. Besides, Katara looked like she’d been crying and for once, Azula didn’t want to make Katara's day worse.

She tried to talk to Katara but before she knew it the conversation was an argument. Katara stole Azula’s specialty and touched on the very things Azula had been worried about lately. Mai and Ty Lee were finding other friends. Zuko was desperate to get away from her and Ozai – because, in some ways, she’d been just as bad as her father, hadn’t she? After all, hadn’t she once sat on the edge of this very pond throwing rocks at the ducks as Zuko tried to feed them? How many times had she just repeated whatever insult her father hurled her way to Zuko? It was a miracle he still talked to her at all.

She’d been an awful sister and an awful friend and she needed to learn to control her rage. Who was she really angry at, at the end of the day? Ozai? Or herself for becoming him? She had become him, too. She knew it. She didn’t know how to talk to people without putting them down because her father had never talked to her without putting her down.

When she said, “You hear me? You are nothing,” Katara didn’t seem to feel anything and that bothered Azula. She was supposed to feel those words. How could she just listen as she was told she was worthless? She was supposed to feel awful and disgusting and it didn’t look like she felt anything at all.

Then Katara said the one thing that Azula could never tolerate anyone saying to her. “I feel kinda bad for you.” Azula didn’t hear anything else Katara was saying. None of it mattered. A brat like Katara wasn’t allowed to feel bad for someone like her. She hit Katara as hard as she could, and then she left. It felt good to let out some of her aggression in a physical way. She never understood her father better than when she was being violent. There was something cathartic about making someone else hurt - whether it was physical or emotional.

She drove to school and she got the reaction she wanted from Ty Lee – at first. Then everything went horribly wrong. She’d known Ty Lee was in love with her for years, but she’d never wanted to use that against her, at least not like this. It was the one thing she’d always kept her mouth shut about. Oh, she used it to her advantage of course. She’d be crazy not to take advantage of devotion like that. She used Ty Lee’s vulnerability to her to make Ty Lee come when she called and do whatever she asked. But she’d never wanted to take it this far.

Kissing Ty Lee to make her stay was crossing a line Azula had never planned to cross but she was willing to do anything not to lose her. She couldn’t be alone. Azula had never pleaded with anyone in her life but she whispered a quiet, begging request to Ty Lee, “don’t be done.”

“I have to.”

Those three words were too much. When Ty Lee left, slamming the car door behind her, Azula sat there, staring ahead. She’d just driven away the last person who was loyal to her. Ty Lee had always been the one who would do anything for her. She had never imagined that there was anything she could do that would make Ty Lee leave. She’d known she was crossing a line she should've left alone. She’d known it, and she’d done it anyway.

She screamed at the top of her lungs and buried her face in the dashboard of the car.

Well, as long as she was crossing lines why stop? There was a hectic feeling building from inside her, starting in the pit of her stomach. She felt like she was literally buzzing. Her mind was racing and she wanted to do Something with a capital 'S.' She was breathing hard and fast and she was filled with rage at herself for fucking up so badly and for not being able to keep it together and for just existing because that had always felt like a crime in itself. She was clenching her fists so tight her nails were going to leave marks in her palms.

She needed to do something. She needed to hurt or break someone or something. She needed to turn all the violence swirling around inside her into action.

 

* * * * * * * * *

 

Sokka shifted in the passenger seat of the old Honda so he could watch Zuko drive. He was finding it harder and harder not to stare at Zuko the more time they spent together. They’d just dropped Aang and Appa off at home and now Zuko was getting ready to drive Sokka home. Sokka was planning to drop the note for Katara from “Toph” off as soon as they got inside and he was excited to see that plan pay off, but he was also sad to say goodbye to Zuko.

Zuko’s phone rang from his backpack. “Can you get that?” he asked. “It might be my uncle.”

Sokka swiped his finger across the screen, “Y’ello,” he said. “Zuko’s phone.”

“What?” asked an upset voice. “Who the fuck is this?” Sokka held the phone away from his ear because whoever was on the other end was yelling. “Give the phone to Zuko right now!”

Zuko heard – not surprising considering the caller’s volume - and reached for the phone. Sokka was all too happy to pass it over. “Azula,” Zuko said. “Hey, I’m driving right now. What’s up?”

“I did something bad,” came the choked response, still loud enough for Sokka to hear. “Very bad. You need to come home now.”

"Just calm down. What did you do?"

"I did something insane. I think I'm in shock. Zuko, I need you to come and get me out of here right now." Sokka had never heard Azula sound so desperate. She almost sounded scared except that was impossible. Right? He'd never heard her sound anything but cold and in control.

“Azula, I can’t, I-”

“Please.”

“Alright,” Zuko said, doing a U-turn in the middle of the road and causing Sokka to clutch his seat in alarm. “I’m on my way. I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay. Hurry.”

Chapter 8: let Zuko & Azula say fuck

Summary:

Katara and Toph have a talk. Zuko revisits his childhood home with unexpected consequences. Aang is the most easy-going & kindest friend alive.

CW: discussions of child abuse, underage drinking, actions & attitudes that could be read as self-harming

Chapter Text

Toph regretted not inviting herself to hang out with Sokka, Aang and Zuko. Sokka had specifically invited Aang because he wanted to give Zuko and Aang a chance to talk, which was understandable. The invitation had also been extended to Toph and Katara, but Toph had blown it off when Katara did. Stupid move.

Now she was sitting in her room alone listening to ‘If You Can’t Hang’ by Sleeping with Sirens on repeat and Katara was off doing her own thing. eW. Toph hated being an emo cliche and she hated sitting around. She was more of an 'action' kinda gal. Except, Katara had made it clear that she was the initiator in this relationship - if you could call it that - and Toph didn't want to fuck things up. Just sitting around was stressing her the hell out though.

They hadn’t talked much – okay so they hadn’t talked at all – since Sokka and Zuko had walked in on them kissing. She’d hoped they’d have a chance to talk – or, even better, do anything but talk - while Sokka and Ang were busy with Zuko.

She shouldn’t have let herself hope for that.

She heard the front door slam from down the hall, but she didn’t turn off her music. She could hear Katara and Hakoda talking. At first, she planned on giving them some privacy. But curiosity got the better of her, and she turned the volume on her speaker down to zero.

“…I want you to know that I’d accept you no matter who you love, okay?” Hakoda said.

Toph swallowed. She waited for Katara’s response but didn’t hear anything. It hadn’t occurred to her that Katara was worried about her dad’s acceptance or lack thereof. She’d been so caught up in what Katara wanted out of whatever this was, she hadn’t stopped to think about whether Katara might be confused. Of course, they'd both worried about Hakoda finding out because their living together made this a little complicated. But Katara couldn't possibly be worried about Hakoda accepting that she liked girls. Right?

She heard footsteps in the hall a second later and pretended to be asleep even though it was still early in the afternoon. There was a knock at her door. She didn’t respond. The door opened, and Toph continued fake sleeping.

“Hey,” Katara said.

Toph pretended to yawn and stretch. “Hey,” she said.

“Can I come in?” Katara asked from the doorway.

“Sure.”

Katara’s footsteps were followed by the weight of the bed shifting as Katara sat down beside her. There was a long silence. In reality, it was probably around thirty seconds, but it felt like about thirty thousand hours to Toph.

“So, how about them Yankees?” she joked weakly.

Katara did not laugh. “We need to talk.”

“Ok. So talk.”

“I think it’s best if we stop whatever it is we’ve been doing.”

Toph felt her stomach drop. It was somehow both the thing she’d been dreading hearing and totally out of nowhere. She knew she was tearing up, she could feel the heat in her face and taste the lump in her throat. She swallowed hard and turned her head, though she knew Katara could see the tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Ok.”

“I value our friendship and-”

“I get it,” Toph said, interrupting so she didn’t have to hear any cliché speech about how iMpOrTaNt their friendship was. She didn’t think she could bear to hear anything like that right now.

“Toph…” Katara put a hand on her knee and she scooted away.

“I said I get it, ok?” she snapped.

The weight beside her on the bed vanished. Katara’s footsteps padded across the room and the door closed. Toph felt like she’d just been sucker-punched. When she was sure Katara was gone, she started punching her pillow again and again. It did not make her feel any better, so she pressed it against her face and screamed into it instead.

 

* * * * * * * * *

“Just wait here, ok?” Zuko said, getting out of the car. He’d parked on the street. “Our house is around the corner.”

Sokka ignored him and got out too. “Like hell,” he said. He didn’t know what the heck was going on but Azula had sounded panicked on the phone, and he wasn’t going to let Zuko walk into some crazy mess alone.

Zuko sighed. “My family can be a bit intense,” he said.

“That’s why you’re not going back alone,” Sokka said. Obviously. He didn’t get how Zuko didn’t get that. Sokka had decided Zuko was his friend, and therefore Sokka would always be there for Zuko from now on. It was that simple.

“Sokka, just let me handle this. I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t want to risk making things worse by bringing you along.”

“Hey, I am known for only ever making things better,” Sokka argued.

“Maybe so. But I think I need to talk to Azula alone right now.”

“Fuck that. I know she’s your sister, but she’s kinda insane. I’m coming.”

“She’s not insane, she’s just…” Zuko hesitated, and Sokka thought maybe Zuko was going to realize that he needed back up after all. “She’s just lost, okay?" Or maybe not. "And I was too, up until this past summer when I realized I needed to get out of there. Luckily, I had my uncle. But Azula’s never been close with Uncle Iroh. She doesn’t have anyone. So just give me a chance to talk to her, okay? Imagine it was Katara.”

Sokka sighed. Zuko was always a little tense, to put it lightly. Now that he was preparing to go back to his childhood home, he looked like he was going to explode. Every muscle in his body looked tensed and he was glaring even more than usual. Sokka hated the idea of Zuko going alone, but he also got it when Zuko put it like that. He thought of his own sister. If she was upset about something, and Sokka brought someone else along when he went to talk to her, she’d probably blow up.

Actually, she had blown up a little on him when he brought Zuko to the house the other day. It’s how he’d figured out something was going on between her and Toph. This situation was probably a bit more serious than a potential mutual crush, though.

“Okay,” he said. “It’s your call, Zuko. But if you’re not back in twenty minutes I’m busting in.”

“Sokka, if you bust into the house who do you think my dad is gonna take it out on?”

“Uh…me?”

“No.”

“Wait, you mean you?”

Zuko frowned. “Obviously,” he said, but not in a condescending way. It was more like he thought this was something everyone should just assume. Sokka didn’t like that at all. He hated the idea that Zuko found himself being the target of his dad’s anger inevitable. Zuko didn’t deserve that. No one did.

“Okay, well give me your keys then. In twenty minutes if you’re not back I’ll be outside with the car running.”

“Don’t you only have your learner’s permit?”

“Didn’t Azula tell you to hurry?” Sokka countered, hoping that would do it. It did. Zuko tossed the keys to Sokka.

“Our house is around the corner," he said again. "Just wait for me though. I'll be back once I've made sure Azula is alright."

 

* * * * * * * * *

 

Zuko couldn’t deny that Sokka being protective was kinda hot. He could admit that much. It was totally normal to find your friends kinda hot, right?

He was caught up thinking about Sokka wanting to protect him and worrying about him and he turned the corner and walked the familiar route towards Ozai’s house without really paying attention. He’d already come to the conclusion that he didn’t deserve his dad’s treatment. It was the reason he’d decided to move out. His therapist and Iroh both helped when it came to remembering that he deserved to be safe and not afraid all the time. It was nice to have that protectiveness from a peer though. And he still hadn’t gotten over the happiness from Sokka calling him his friend. Zuko already considering having Sokka as a friend the highest of privileges, but having Sokka worry about him? That was a new high.

All thoughts vanished from his mind when he reached the familiar white picket fence and the quiet-looking suburban home. He couldn’t think. He could only freak out.

He ran over to his sister who was sitting on the hood of an unfamiliar red car in the driveway. At first, he didn’t even process the car or the damage to it. He was stuck staring at Azula. Her arms were totally covered in tiny scratches and cuts.

“What the hell happened to you?” he asked, grabbing one of her arms and examining it.

“What?” she looked down at her arm and her eyes widened for a split second before her expression turned casual. “Oh, that? Nothing, I guess some broken glass flew at me. I hadn’t noticed.”

“Azula, we need to get you a hospital."

“Forget about that,” she said. “Father is going to murder me. Look.” She yanked her bloody arm away from him and grabbed his face, forcing him to stop staring at the shards of broken glass all over her and to look at the windshield of the car. It was shattered. A big rock sat on the driver’s seat along with thousands of pieces of broken glass.

“What the fuck happened, Azula?”

“I fucking murdered the fancy new car dad bought me.”

“Shit.”

“Yes. Which is why you need to drive me to Mexico right now.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Canada would also be fine. Hell, take me to Cuba. I’ll go anywhere as long as it’s far away. We need to go now though. I’m not sure where dad is, he must’ve gone running errands because he was here earlier, but-”

“Okay, I’m not taking you out of the country. First of all, we need to get you to a doctor, second of all-"

“Pfft.”

Zuko gaped. He had never in his life heard his sister make such an undignified sound. “Did you just pfft me?” he asked.

“Ugh, Zuko, do you always need to be so uptight?”

“Me? Uptight? I’m not uptight!” he yelled.

Azula scoffed flopped backward – and yes, she actually flopped – and gasped when she remembered there was nothing behind her to lean against. Zuko grabbed her arm and pulled her back upwards before she could land in the broken glass all over the dashboard. He flinched when he felt his hand pushing the broken glass deeper into her skin.

For the first time, he noticed the bottle sitting on the hood of the car next to her. Well, that explained a lot.

“Wait, are you drunk?” he asked.

“Me?” she asked. “Pshh, no. I have never been more sober in my life. I am, the spitting image of sobriety. How do I know, frankly, that you’re not drunk? Huh? You’re the one who’s always messing up! You’re the one dad hates! Not me. Wait –“ she seemed to be talking more to herself than him at this point – “that’s it. I can blame this on you. Dad will believe me. Oh my gosh, it’s perfect. Since you won’t take me out of the country, you definitely have it coming, no offense, oh wow I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before-” Azula was swaying a little and her plan to turn him in to Ozai was interrupted by her sliding sideways off the car.

Zuko grabbed her and pulled her upright in the driveway, which was not an easy task. She swayed and grabbed his shoulders for support. Considering she had just threatened to blame him for destroying the most expensive thing Ozai had ever bought her, he was tempted to just let her fall.

Instead, he helped her into a position where she was leaning against the car. “What made you decide to do this, Azula?”

“Uh, what do you mean? I’m pretty sure you’re the one who decided to slam a rock into my brand new Porsche.” She punched in in the shoulder, but there was no strength behind it. "Asshole."

“Okay, do you want me to leave?”

She sighed. “I don’t know? What didn’t make me decide to do this? He’s just – ugh!” Zuko had never seen Azula, who was usually given an ominous speech about how great she was or vaguely threatening someone, so incoherent. “He bought me this car as a gift, but you know how nothing from dad comes for free?”

“Yes." Oh, how well he knew that.

“I’m just tired of him controlling my life. I’m tired of him planning out my future for me and I’m tired of trying to be perfect for him when that’s never enough. Nothing is ever good enough for him.”

“You’re right.” Zuko was shaking a little. He'd talked about all this in therapy. He'd accepted how thoroughly his dad had fucked both of them up. It was different hearing Azula say it though. She'd never admitted any of this before, for one thing. For another, they'd experienced it all together. Even if they hadn't always been on the same side, they'd both grown up in this house that looked so innocent and nice from the outside. So, to talk about it with her was to talk about it with someone who KNEW in a way that no one else did.

“I hate him.”

“Me too.”

“God, I’m an idiot for not realizing how horrible he was sooner, aren’t I?”

“You’re not an idiot. He’s just a brainwashing sociopath who stole both our childhoods.”

“And I was about to turn you in to him without a second thought!” she looked horrified. Zuko had to admit, it was a tiny bit satisfying. For so long he’d been trying to be there for her even as he knew shit-talking Ozai was out of the question because she practically worshipped the ground he walked on. There was something great about seeing the realization cross Azula’s face as she recognized that Ozai was the monster here, not her, and not Zuko. He'd wanted her to see this for so long.

“He always tried to turn you against me.”

“And I let him,” she said, shaking her head. “God, I’m sorry Zuko.”

He felt something hard in the back of his throat, and he found himself wiping at his eyes. He’d never known he needed an apology from Azula. He’d always reminded himself that it wasn’t her fault – which was mostly true – but it was still nice to hear. All those times she’d laughed at him for being punished, and gleefully repeated Ozai’s horrible insults, he hadn’t known he needed to forgive her. As soon as he knew he needed to forgive her though, she was forgiven.

“He’s always manipulated and brainwashed you,” Zuko said. “It didn’t work as well on me so I got the brunt of the physical punishments most of the time. It doesn’t mean it was easy for you. You didn’t deserve the things he said to you or the way he manipulated you, or any of it. Neither of us-"

He was interrupted by Azula’s arms around his shoulders. He froze for a second because he wasn’t used to sudden physical contact that wasn’t violent and because he was pretty sure Azula had never hugged him before. She was sobbing into his shoulder though, and he wrapped his arms around her cautiously.

“Let’s get you out of here,” he said, pulling away after a moment.

“Fuck you!” For a confused second, Zuko thought Azula was screaming at him. It became clear pretty fast that she was just screaming into the void, though. A few curious neighbors were peeking through their blinds.

“Yeah,” he said, because he couldn’t believe they’d never talked about this and because all the anger at the way he and Azula had been treated their whole lives was bubbling to the surface. “Fuck you!” he shouted, also into the void.

He grabbed the bottle of vodka from the hood of the car and took a long drink. It tasted horrible, and he gagged. Azula started laughing, and there was more than an edge of hysteria to it. He decided to try again, and this time even though it burned, he chugged a good amount of the vodka before handing it back to her. She chugged and passed it back to him and he chugged again. They passed it back and forth a few more times.

Zuko pictured Ozai pulling in at any second and seeing his two teenagers next to the destroyed Porsche passing back and forth a bottle of vodka that Azula must have stolen from his stash, and he couldn’t help but laugh. It was a terrifying image, but for some reason, he had to laugh at it. Ozai would hate to see this, not only because something expensive he'd bought had been damaged or because his underage kids were drinking his vodka, but because they were getting along. Ozai had always tried to encourage competition between them.

Then he grabbed the rock off the dashboard. He threw it as hard as he could at the front of the house, and it smashed the front window and the expensive vase that was sitting there as well.

“I can’t believe you just did that,” Azula said. Then she started cracking up.

Still laughing, Azula ran over to the garden, which was lined with big, smooth stones. She grabbed one and hurled it upwards towards the second story window that was her bedroom. It missed, hitting the bricks and doing nothing.

“Oh come on,” Zuko said, taking another drink of vodka. “You can do better than that.”

“You’re right,” she said. “Dad always taught me that failure was never an option.” She laughed darkly, picked up another rock, and hurled it again. It smashed the window.

"Ha!" Zuko said. He ran over and high fived her. They met each other's eyes and both started cracking up. Zuko grabbed her shoulder for support and leaned forward, laughing so hard he couldn't breathe.

Then Ozai’s familiar black car came around the corner and they both stood up straight and froze. They exchanged an alarmed look. Zuko’s heart was pounding. What had he just done? Why had he let his anger get the best of him? Now he and Azula were both screwed.

Ozai parked the car and got out. Zuko was pretty sure he’d never seen Ozai look so terrifying. His expression was calm, but the anger in his eyes was filed with the threat of violence. He felt like shit. He was an idiot to have encouraged and even helped Azula just now. She was either going to blame him and he’d have to deal with the repercussions or she was going to be blamed and she’d have to deal with the repercussions. Neither option was even close to acceptable.

 

* * * * * * * * *

Sokka fiddled with the radio, while watching the time. He tried to distract himself by playing with various Snapchat filters, then by texting a cursed image to the group chat between him, Suki, Katara, Aang and Toph with an image description beneath it so that Toph wasn't exempt from seeing it. No one responded with righteous outrage, so he started playing on Twitter. YouTubers were causing drama as always, and he tried to think about that but he couldn’t keep his mind off Zuko for long. Maybe letting him go alone had been stupid.

Luckily, Sokka was looking out the window when a black car drove past. He recognized Sheriff Ozai right away. So, Ozai hadn’t been home. Good. But Ozai was about to be home, less good.

Sokka had told Zuko that he had his learner’s permit, which was true. What he had left out was that his dad had taken him driving exactly once, in a cemetery, and he’d managed to destroy a headstone. Well, this was an emergency.

He turned the key and hit the gas. There was a horrible sound as the engine revved but the car did not move. Sokka looked at the dashboard, and then downward. Oh, it was still in ‘Park.’ He moved the gear shift to ‘Drive,’ and hit the gas again. He took off way too fast and almost drove onto the sidewalk, but managed to yank the steering wheel around just in time to turn the corner.

He slammed on the breaks and it was a good thing this was a suburban neighborhood and not a busy road and no one else was driving right then because he screeched to a stop in the middle of the road.

Ozai was getting out of the black car. Zuko and Azula were standing in the yard. Sokka cursed Zuko internally for still having crank windows as he turned the handle to pull down the driver’s side window. “Get in!” he yelled to Zuko.

Zuko grabbed his sister’s wrist and yanked her towards the car, opened the back door and shoved her inside before slamming it behind her. Then, he ran around and got in the passenger seat. Sokka had expected just Zuko to get in, but Ozai was glaring at him, so he gave a peace sign with his hand and then hit the gas again.

He didn’t have a real direction in mind, he just knew he needed to get away from Ozai and fast.

“This is so fun,” Azula said as Sokka sped past a Stop sign and around a corner. “It’s like a roller coaster.”

“Yeah,” Zuko said in a choked voice. Then he rolled down the passenger window, stuck his head out, and hurled.

For the first time, Sokka glanced beside him and saw that Zuko was holding a bottle of vodka in his hand.

He glanced in the rearview mirror and saw that Azula had a rather unhinged grin on her face. He figured the bottle of vodka probably had something to do with the fact that she cackled when Sokka swerved to avoid hitting an old lady with a walker crossing at a crosswalk. Well, this was Azula, so maybe not.

“Sokka, you could totally have a career as a getaway car driver,” Azula slurred. Yeah, the vodka had to have at least something to do with whatever the fuck was going on. “You totally saved us. I thought I was going to end up with a burn to match Zuko's.” She reached over the seat and patted the side of Zuko’s face that was burned.

“Please don’t do that,” Zuko said, shoving her hand away.

“What are you talking about?” Sokka asked. He felt like it was safe to slow down a little now that they’d made several turns and were pretty far from Ozai’s house.

“I don’t know,” Azula said, snatching the bottle of vodka from Zuko and taking a long drink from it. “I am messed up right now, you guys. Which, by the way, is why I can say that I am so sorry I just watched that happen to you Zuko. It was fucked up and I hate myself for it and-”

“Azula, it’s fine,” Zuko said, obviously wanting her to stop talking. He twisted around and started trying to tug the vodka out of her hands.

“Wait, your dad did that to you?” Sokka asked, feeling sick. He’d always thought it had been an accident with a stove, or that maybe it was a birthmark or something.

“Can we not talk about this?”

“ZuZu, I just signed my own death certificate I think we can talk about your past. I mean, it’s my future that’s fucked. Oh god, I’m gonna die. Wai! Did we just pass a Wendy’s? Can we stop? Pretty please?”

Sokka decided to stop on the basis that, now that his fear of Ozai was wearing off he was a little scared of his own driving, and maybe getting some food in Azula wouldn’t be the worst idea. He turned down a side street that had a second entrance to the Wendy’s they’d just passed and pulled into the parking lot. He figured if he could handle driving to get here, he could handle the drive through line. And Azula and Zuko – who were playing tug of war with the vodka bottle - probably didn’t need to go inside right now anyway.

Once they were in line, he twisted around and stared at Zuko, who let go of the vodka bottle and turned, so he was facing out the window. Sokka reached out and put a hand over Zuko’s hand. At first, Zuko seemed like he was going to pull away. Then he relaxed and squeezed Sokka’s hand.

Sokka was disgusted and horrified to learn that the burns across the side of Zuko's face were because of his dad. He hated Ozai. He hated him more than he'd ever hated anyone. He could tell that Zuko didn't want to talk about this right now though, so he didn't push it. He wanted to ask about it, but later, when they were alone and Zuko was sober. For now, he tried to put all his feelings of anger at Ozai into the hand holding. He didn't really have words for what he wanted to say right now anyway.

“Oh, aren’t you two adorable?” Azula said in a mocking voice. “Wait, are we at Wendy’s? Oh my god, Zuko I have decided that I love your new boyfriend.”

It was their turn to order. “What do you want?” Sokka asked Azula.

“Ooh. You know what? Just get me everything on the menu.”

“A large order of fries and three large Cokes, please,” Sokka said.

They pulled forward and Sokka paid for their order while the employee eyed Azula chugging the vodka bottle in the back in a nervous way. Sokka thanked her, hoped she wasn’t planning on calling the police and pulled away. He pulled to the side before getting to the exit and turned to Zuko.

“Are you good to drive?”

“Yeah,” Zuko said. “Just one second.” He leaned out the passenger window and vomited. “Okay, now, I’m good.”

“You know what? I’m already in the driver’s seat,” Sokka said. “We’ve already broken a lot of laws. I’ve got this.”

He was pretty sure he did not have this – again, he had only driven once before and it had not gone well – but he didn’t really see another option.

He wasn’t sure where they were supposed to go. The Jasmine Dragon was an option, except that it would mean dragging two drunk, angry teenagers through the tea shop to get to Iroh’s apartment. His house was an option, but even though he knew his dad would never put anyone in danger, he was a parent. That meant there was a chance he would call Ozai. It was a small chance, but Sokka wasn’t willing to take it. He could think of only one other place to go.

* * * * * * * * *

Aang was sitting in his backyard by a fire petting Appa and listening to the Stephen Universe soundtrack. It was getting to be evening time, and he was having a relaxing night having spent some time with Sokka and Zuko at the park and completed his homework. Then Sokka walked into the backyard with Zuko and Azula on either side of him. Both had their arms around his shoulder and he had his arms around their wastes. For a second, Aang thought they were both passed out. It turned out they weren’t, but they weren’t far from it either. Also, Azula’s arms were covered in broken glass and cuts.

“Hi,” Sokka said.

“Uhhhhhhh. Hi.” Apparently, his quiet relaxed evening was over.

“Is Gyatso around?”

“He’s at the grocery store,” Aang said.

"Okay good."

“Are…are those two alright?”

“Oh, they’re both super drunk.”

“I think Azula needs to go to the hospital.”

“Yeah, I said that too,” Sokka said. “She doesn’t wanna go.”

“I’m totally fine,” Azula slurred.

“Okay…” Aang had no idea what he was supposed to do here. He was used to being the go-to person in their friend group when it came to needing help but to be honest, sometimes he wasn’t sure how to help. Now was one of those times. Also, he’d accepted Zuko as a friend and he was totally willing to accept Azula too. He was, however, admittedly, kind of terrified of her.

She didn’t seem as scary when she leaned over and hurled all over Sokka’s shoes though.

“Um, here,” he gestured to the lawn chairs sitting around the little metal fireplace in the backyard. “Make yourselves at home. I’ll go get some tea.”

Zuko’s uncle owned a tea shop, so Aang assumed tea would be a comfort beverage for him. When he came back out with four cups of tea on a tray though, he realized that maybe he shouldn’t have bothered. Sokka, Zuko, and Azula all had sodas from Wendy’s they must’ve gotten out of the car and they were all sitting on the ground fighting over an order of fries.

He handed each of them a mug of tea anyways.

Zuko took a sip of his and made a face, then fashioned his expression into a neutral one. Sokka took a sip and looked appreciative. Azula took a sip and spit hers out.

“Ugh,” she said. “This is disgusting. What kind of tea did you make us?”

“Oh, I didn’t have any tea bags,” Aang said.

“Wait, so what is this?” Zuko asked.

“It’s just boiled Gatorade,” Aang explained. Tea was just hot flavored liquid, right?

Zuko laughed out loud. “My uncle is going to kill me if he ever finds out I drank this.”

“But not if he ever finds out you drank half a bottle of vodka and vandalized your dad’s house?” Sokka asked. Yeah, Aang was definitely missing a lot here. He would be patient though. His priority was getting them to talk about Azula's arms. Terrifying or not, Aang could not stand to see anyone hurt. Azula was totally ignoring her injuries, but Aang found it impossible to do so. Just looking at the cuts made his own arms sting.

“Nah, he’ll probably think that’s great.”

“God, it’s not fair,” Azula said, throwing her tea on the ground. The mug broke in two and Aang frowned. That had been one of Gyatso’s favorite mugs, but he supposed he should have known better than to give it to a drunk Azula. “You could probably commit murder and Uncle Iroh would tell you it’s fine.”

“That’s not true,” Zuko said. “He’d probably be really disappointed in me, which in some ways would hurt more than anger.”

Azula made an angry sound and threw the rest of the fries into the fire. Both Sokka and Zuko burst into protests about how those fries had been meant for everyone. Aang was more concerned about Azula’s arms, though. The broken glass really needed to come out, whether she liked it or not.

“Okay,” he said, taking charge, “Azula, are you eighteen yet?”

“No.”

“Then the hospital probably would call Ozai and tell him where you are.” He thought for a second. “Gyatso started nursing school,” he said. “If we just wait for him to get back, he can probably help get the glass out. But if he says you need to go to a hospital, we’re going. Don’t worry, we’ll figure something out to keep Ozai away from you.”

“What are you talking about?” Azula asked, sipping her Coke.

“Fixing your arms without your dad finding you,” Aang said. He frowned at her. He’d thought it was obvious what he was talking about. Maybe she was more drunk than he’d thought.

“I mean, I do live with my dad,” she said. “I can’t hide from him forever.”

“What?” Zuko turned towards her, looking pissed. “You can’t possibly think you’re going back there.”

“Yeah, Azula, you don’t live there anymore,” Sokka said.

Azula started crying, and Aang had no idea what to do, so he just went over and put a hand on her back.

Chapter 9: pinky promise

Summary:

Sokka & Zuko deal with the aftermath of Azula & Zuko's rebellion. Azula has an interesting talk with Uncle Iroh, & later finds something bizarre in her brother's room. Katara feels guilty.

CW: some actions that could be considered self-harming

A/N: I want you guys to know that I read every comment like 800 times & get super emotional over the idea of anyone reading my writing

Chapter Text

Azula’s arms were no longer filled with shards of broken glass thanks to Gyatso, who had also been nice enough to drive Zuko, Sokka, and Azula to the Jasmine Dragon. Zuko had tried to tell him that Sokka could drive, but Sokka had shaken his head at Gyatso. Zuko didn’t know why. Sokka was a great driver and Zuko was in full agreement with Azula that he could have a career as a getaway driver if he wanted.

Azula was asleep in the guest bedroom. Iroh had made sure she had a blanket and some pillows, and she had passed out. Soon after, Iroh had excused himself to go to bed. Zuko and Sokka were now sitting on the loveseat in the living room.

It had to be around nine or ten at night. Zuko wasn’t really sure and he didn’t care. He had every intention of calling off school the next day. He’d make it to rehearsal at the end of the day. Whatever.

He yawned, feeling the effects of a rather exhausting afternoon and a lot of vodka, and relaxed into the cushions of the loveseat. He was still feeling the relaxed inhibitions of the vodka, and he made one of those drunk decisions he knew he wouldn’t make sober as he was making it, and leaned into Sokka’s chest. It was a very comfortable place to exist.

Sokka yawned too, and stretched an arm around Zuko, pulling him a little closer. Zuko didn’t think he’d ever felt so warm. He decided that vodka plus Sokka plus the loveseat was his new favorite combination in the world.

Then he remembered something very depressing. “I guess you have to go home soon.”

“Nah,” Sokka said through a yawn. “I called my dad and explained one of my friends was having a bit of a family crisis and needed me. He talked to Iroh on the phone. I’m staying the night. Hope you’re cool with it.”

“Trust me,” Zuko said. “I have never been more cool with anything.” He slumped into Sokka and closed his eyes. He had every intention of falling asleep here, but Sokka shook his shoulder gently just as he was about to drift off.

“You’re gonna wake up with a fucked up neck if we don’t get somewhere more comfortable.”

“That’s fine,” Zuko grumbled, refusing to sit up.

“You say that now, but when you’re not calling a chiropractor in the morning, you’ll thank me,” Sokka said, shaking him again.

Zuko grumbled about it, but stood up. He swayed a little on his feet, and Sokka stood up and steadied him, laughing. So, it turned out Zuko was a total lightweight when it came to vodka. At least he’d puked most of it up earlier so he probably wouldn’t be hungover.

Sokka guided them both to Zuko’s room. Zuko fell backward into the bed. He was definitely about to pass out there when he remembered something, and sat bolt upright.

“Wait, I only have one bed.”

Sokka laughed. “Most people do.”

“You’re the guest, you should take the bed.”

“I did not just invite myself over here to kick you out of your own bed. Come on, Zuko.”

“Well, do you have a better suggestion?”

“Haven’t you ever had a sleepover?” Sokka said. “Scoot over.” Then he seemed to consider. “I mean, unless that makes you uncomfortable? I can totally sleep on the floor if you toss me down some pillows. I just didn’t want you to be alone after…Well, it’s been a crazy day.”

“It has,” Zuko agreed. He scooted towards the wall. “You don’t have to sleep on the floor.”

He laid down and closed his eyes although he was significantly more awake than before. Sokka turned off the light, then stumbled back towards the bed. Zuko felt Sokka climb under the covers beside him and made another decision helped by the lightheadedness that came with chugging a bunch of vodka. He scooted closer to Sokka. He hesitated a little, but Sokka stretched out an arm and put it around him and he buried his face in Sokka’s chest. Yeah, he definitely would not have been brave enough for this sober.

They were quiet for a few minutes. Zuko had never felt so comfortable and safe. He found himself thinking that auditioning for the play had been the best decision he’d ever made because it led to him being friends with Sokka. Being in Sokka’s arms was definitely the best place in the world.

“Thanks for staying,” he said.

“Of course,” Sokka said. “Hopefully I’m not, like, imposing on a family thing. I just really hated the idea of leaving.”

“No, I’m glad you’re here,” Zuko said. “Talking to Azula today kind of brought up a lot of stuff. Being alone right now would kind of suck to be honest." Understatement of a lifetime, he thought as he said it.

“Yeah I kinda missed some stuff didn’t I?”

Zuko realized then that they hadn’t actually talked about what happened. He and Azula had kind of just jumped into the car and Sokka had driven off.

“Oh yeah,” he said with a laugh, “you just drove us away with no questions asked. You may need to seriously consider a career in driving getaway cars.”

Sokka laughed too. Pretty soon they were both just giggling and Zuko couldn’t believe how ridiculous this was. He was laying in bed with Sokka, who had just driven him and Azula away from the property damage they’d done to their father’s house. Not to mention that their father happened to be a cop. The more he thought about it, the more he laughed.

Eventually, their laughter quieted down. “You don’t have to tell me anything,” Sokka said. “But I’ll admit to being insanely curious.”

“Well, there’s actually not much to tell,” Zuko said honestly. “Azula busted the window of her new Porsche-”

“On purpose?”

“Yeah, and-”

“Why?”

“Are you gonna let me tell you this story or not?”

“Sorry,” Sokka said. “No more interruptions. Go ahead.”

“I showed up and she started talking about all the shit our dad put us through as kids, and then I started talking about it and obviously that conversation required alcohol, and-”

“Apparently lots of alcohol.”

“I thought you said no more interruptions?”

“Oops.”

“Anyway, we started throwing rocks at windows, and then our father showed up. Then you showed up. It probably is thanks to you that Azula didn’t get burn to match mine. I bet he’s furious.” He shuddered, thinking of Ozai’s expression just before he and Azula got in the car. “Did we remember to lock to the apartment doo?” he asked.

“You don’t think he’d come here?”

“Honestly? I don’t know.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Sokka said, squeezing Zuko for a second. “I’ll go check that the door is locked. I’ll be right back.”

Zuko sat up in bed and waited for Sokka to return. He was gone for only a moment, before he re-entered the room, and climbed back in bed. Zuko lay back down and was happy when they resumed their previous position.

“It was already locked,” Sokka said.

“That’s good,” Zuko yawned, and cuddled closer to Sokka, about ready to go to sleep now.

“I never knew your dad gave you that burn mark,” Sokka said.

Just like that, Zuko’s good mood was gone. He tensed up and felt the need to scoot back a little involuntarily. He should’ve known Sokka was going to be curious. He was going to have to have a talk with Azula about bringing this up. It was already this ugly thing on his face drawing attention to him, making people curious. He didn’t need people knowing his own dad had done that to him. Protectiveness was nice, pity was less nice.

Sokka propped himself up on his elbow a little. “Hey I’m sorry,” he said. “We don’t have to talk about it.”

“The stuff with my dad gets pretty dark,” Zuko said.

“Right, no, I’m really sorry,” Sokka said. He seemed to be scrambling which made Zuko feel worse than ever. “I know we just started hanging out and stuff but I just really care about you? I hope that’s not weird. And I want to know you, and be able to be there for you.”

“It’s a little weird,” Zuko admitted.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I totally made this weird-”

“You didn’t let me finish,” Zuko said. “It’s weird because I’m not…” He paused. He was starting to regret speaking, the alcohol was wearing off now that he was more awake, and he was feeling his inhibitions coming back, but he’d already started. “I’m not exactly used to having a lot of people who want to be there for me. And, definitely not a lot of people who want to know me.”

“Well I do,” Sokka said. “So, get used to it.”

“Might take me a minute. But I want you to know-” oh god, this was embarrassing why had he started this sentence? – “it goes both ways. When I’m around you it’s like-” the part of his brain that would have normally shut him up by now was freaking out somewhere in the background of his racing heart – “I can just let go? More than when I’m around anyone else. You’re like this light in my life and – oh wow, I have to shut up. Never mind.”

“No, no, please go on,” Sokka said. There was a teasing edge to his voice, but he also sounded soft and kind the way Sokka always sounded. “I wanna hear more about how awesome I am.”

“Maybe in the morning,” Zuko yawned.

“Promise?”

“Sure.”

He relaxed into the pillows as Sokka put an arm around him again. He was confused when he felt Sokka’s hand reaching for his under the covers and trying to link their fingers. He opened his eyes and moved his head away from Sokka’s chest to give him a questioning look in the dark.

“Pinky promise?” Sokka asked.

“You’re an idiot,” Zuko grumbled but he linked pinkys and shook beneath the covers before cuddling back into their previous position.

He was asleep within minutes after that.

 

* * * * * * * * *

 

Every time Azula woke up in her new bedroom she got confused. It had been almost two weeks since she’d moved into the extra bedroom in Iroh’s apartment, and still every morning she had to take a couple minutes to remember that it was real and not some cruel dream. Because she had never consciously allowed herself to want her life to be like this and still somehow it felt too good to be true.

If someone had told her before the move that she was soon going to be living with her uncle and brother in a shitty apartment above a tea shop having relinquished the rights to a brand new Porsche being offered to her, she would’ve hit that person. Yet, she couldn’t deny that she wasn’t hating it. She spent a lot of time either in her bedroom, or in the Jasmine Dragon because it was uncomfortable to be around Iroh and Zuko. They were too comfortable and that made her anxious.

She was used to always doing something, whether it was cleaning or sorting through the many complaints against her father from the police station, or cooking, or studying. She still spent a lot of time studying, but if she was too obvious about it Zuko would come over and try to talk her into joining him, Sokka, and Aang during their study group. She always huffed an excuse about how she didn’t need to study with idiots.

She knew it wasn’t true. She’d never thought Zuko was stupid, even if she’d tried to make him believe it. She hadn’t been sure about Sokka and Aang at first. She knew Sokka was somewhat popular and he was pretty much best friends with Suki, who was captain of the football team, so he could get by on his social skills and good looks if he wanted. Aang was trickier, but he was also somewhat popular because he was so incredibly nice to everyone in the most irritating way possible so in Azula’s mind it was more than possible that he was one of those guys who was very sweet but very dumb.

It became clear after overhearing enough conversations through the thin apartment walls that neither of Zuko’s new friends were idiots. Not that this stopped her from calling them idiots, it was just worth nothing that they weren’t. Despite having the dumbest stockpile of jokes Azula had ever heard, Sokka could explain concepts about things like quantum physics in so much detail it almost went over her head. She’d just assumed Aang was a complete moron based on him giving them boiled Gatorade in place of tea, but it was obvious listening to him talk passionately about social justice issues and politics that he just wasn’t.

So, she spent most of her time in her room. She wasn’t quite ready to throw away her dignity and force herself into her brother’s friend group – besides, she’d never seen Zuko so happy and he didn’t need her inserting herself into his life more than she already had. She was sitting in her room reading her history textbook to prepare for class when she heard a knock at the door.

“Who is it?” she asked in an imperious voice. She was sitting cross-legged on the perfectly made bed, staring at the textbook. It wasn’t an ideal Saturday afternoon, but Mai was at a horror movie with Jin, Zuko was off doing something with his new friends, and she hadn’t talk to Ty Lee since…well, she wasn’t sure she and Ty Lee were ever talking again.

The door opened. Iroh. “Azula,” he said. “How are you?”

“Fine.” She didn’t ask how he was.

“Can I come in?”

“You’re going to anyway.” She sighed. Why did he even ask? This was, after all, his apartment.

He came in and sat down on the bean bag he’d bought her at Walmart on her second day here. He’d insisted they buy a few things to make the room seem a little homier. The cactus he’d bought was sitting on the window sill and it was, miraculously, still alive. Azula supposed if she had to have a plant a cactus wasn’t a bad idea.

Although she could feel Iroh’s eyes on her, she pretended to be still reading the textbook page open in front of her. She was grateful for how nice Iroh had been, but to be honest she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. She remembered her mother, telling her over and over that she loved her, and knowing every time that it wasn’t true. Sure, Ursa could say ‘I love you no matter what, Azula,’ but the lie was clear on her face when Azula did something like throw a rock at an animal or hit her brother or laugh at someone getting hurt. Iroh would be the same. She was a monster and she needed to be stopped. That had always been the mentality of adults in her life other than Ozai, who encouraged her more monstrous traits. Zuko was different. He’d been hurt by Ozai, but the damage wasn’t irreparable the way it was for her. Zuko could learn to be better and kinder and softer. Her edges would always be rough. She could never be soft and Iroh would see that and hate her at some point.

“I spoke to my brother on the phone today.”

Oh shit. “You did?” Azula shifted. She looked up from the textbook at last, closing the page. She chanced a look at Iroh and he didn’t look upset, but that didn’t mean anything to her. For all she knew Ozai had requested Iroh take her home and Iroh was relieved to be rid of her.

“He isn’t going to fight for custody.”

Azula’s mouth suddenly felt very dry. She stared straight ahead, not looking at Iroh. After a moment, she realized that she was digging her nails into one of the bandages Gyatso had put on her arm after picking out the broken glass. Her dagger-sharp nail had reopened the cut, and a drop of blood seeped through the bandage and fell onto the bedspread. She had no idea how she was supposed to react to this news.

Was she supposed to be happy that the man who’s affection she’d fought for her entire life didn’t even care that she was gone?

“He wants you to go back,” Iroh continued. Azula didn’t know why but that didn’t exactly make her feel any better. “But your birthday is coming up in a few months. He is well aware that even if he won a court battle, you would be eighteen in a short time anyway.”

“If he won…?” she felt dazed, and couldn’t take in the words.

“I would have fought for you,” Iroh said in a soft voice.

She looked up, feeling alarmed. What was she supposed to say to that? Was she supposed to thank him? She hadn’t even decided she’d made the right call. She was going back and forth wildly between being ecstatic that she hadn’t had to be afraid in her own place of dwelling – she wasn’t quite ready to call the apartment ‘home’ yet – and being devastated that she’d ruined the relationship she’d always cared most about. She stood by all the things she’d admitted about Ozai the day she decided to drunkenly destroy her car and several windows, but she had also spent her entire life so far with the singular goal of impressing him. She’d thrown it all away in a drunken mental breakdown and she had not decided whether that was good or bad yet.

Iroh got up, and headed to the doorway, but he paused before leaving. “I want you to stay here,” he said to her. “But I do have a request.”

Azula’s nail was back to digging at the bandaged cut. She’d already reopened it, and it stung but she was fine with that. The pain distracted her from having to think about what she was hearing. Of course, he had a condition. ‘Don’t let yourself get so comfortable,’ she reminded herself. It was foolish to ever assume that anything came for free.

“Consider calling a therapist.”

“What?” this had not been the condition Azula was expecting and she couldn’t hide the confusion she was feeling. Why would he care about something like that? What did he get out of her seeing a therapist? What was his angle here?

“I made the same request of Zuko when he came to live here,” Iroh said. “And it isn't a demand, Azula. It's a suggestion. I’m going to make some lunch, I’ll call you when it’s ready.”

He left her sitting there in a state of shock, closing the door behind him. She was grappling with the idea that she’d never have the chance to make her father proud, feeling guilty for being an inconvenience to Iroh, and hating the idea of sitting in a room with some old quack who wanted her to talk about her fEeLiNgS. Beneath all of that, there was a tiny part of her that was doing a victory dance. She wouldn’t have been able to admit it in that moment, but Iroh’s quiet admission that he would have fought for her was sending her through what felt like the full range of human emotions.

 

* * * * * * * * *

Katara had never been more unhappy.

She was over everything and everyone. She’d made the only decision she felt she could make in light of her desire not to lose Toph, but it hadn’t worked at all. Toph was talking to her, but her usually teasing attitude had turned almost mean spirited when it came to Katara. Sokka, Aang and Suki had all noticed and started making an effort to say nice things about Katara whenever Toph’s teasing seemed to be going a little too far, but that only did so much to cheer Katara up.

The truth was, it had only been a little over a week since she’d told Toph they needed to just be friends but to Katara it felt like it had been about a thousand weeks. It wasn’t just that she missed sneaking into quiet side rooms to sweep Toph off her feet and kiss her – although she did miss that – it was that she missed how close they’d been. Katara felt like she was losing Toph in more ways than one which was the very thing she’d been trying to avoid.

She had already been annoyed when Sokka, Aang, Suki and Toph had all adopted Zuko into their friend group. She’d kind of accepted that, though, especially because it was hard not to enjoy Zuko’s presence. He was painfully awkward, it was true, but there was something endearing about him. Maybe it was how much Sokka lit up whenever he was around.

She couldn’t begrudge her brother’s happiness just because she was miserable. But did they have to adopt Azula too? Not that the gang’s plan to adopt Azula was going especially well.

Every day at lunch it was the same. They would all – Katara included because she didn’t want to be a dick – walk over to the table where Azula and Mai were sitting. Aang would ask if they could sit. Mai would shrug. Azula would say she’d rather if they didn’t.

It was a Monday afternoon. School was out. Katara was sitting outside. She’d decided not to watch Suki’s football practice or Sokka and Zuko’s play rehearsal – whichever they were watching today – because she just needed a break. She was sitting outside school on a bench by the sidewalk when the stench of cigarette smoke interrupted her impossible and unrealistic fantasy about her andToph going on an actual date.

She sighed when Azula sat down beside her. “Hi,” Azula said, blowing smoke into the air.

Katara wrinkled her nose at the cigarette smoke. “Hi.”

“I know the last time we had a real conversation it ended with me punching you.”

Katara touched the place on her jaw where there was still a bruise. “Yep,” she said.

“Well, I’ve decided to go to therapy because it seems to make my uncle happy and he is allowing me to stay in his home despite my company possibly not being the most pleasant. Yesterday, I went to my first session.”

Katara didn’t say anything.

“Anyway, my therapist has requested that I participate in a truly idiotic activity where I apologize to people I’ve hurt. It’s supposed to help me get over my guilt and self-hatred or some such nonsense.”

“Ok,” Katara said. She was softening a little. She didn’t know the full story with Ozai, just that Azula had recently moved out and that her home life hadn’t been great. Katara could relate to trauma causing anger. She’d lost her mom at a young age and it had contributed to her crippling fear of losing anyone she cared about and her desire to hide her own emotions and protect other people. Sometimes, this resulted in her being a little harsh. So, maybe she could relate to Azula a little.

She waited. “So?” she asked. “Are you going to apologize?”

“Is me saying I’m supposed to apologize not enough?”

Katara rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she said.

“Fine, I’m sorry.”

Katara considered. “Apology accepted,” she said. “And…” she thought about how she’d gone after the things she knew Azula was sure to be most insecure about – Mai and Ty Lee ditching her, Zuko moving out to get away from her – that had been cold. She felt especially bad knowing that Azula had freaked out later that day and done some serious property damage, so maybe she’d been having a bad day already. “I’m sorry too.”

“What are you sorry for?” Azula asked, looking surprised.

“I could’ve been a bit more patient with you.”

“I’ve been a bit of a monster the entire time you’ve known me.”

“That’s true,” Katara said, but she smiled a little at Azula when she said it.

“Alright,” Azula said. “Did I complete this task? Are we no longer enemies?”

“Um, I guess?”

“Great. That was much easier than I anticipated. Now, I have to show you something that I found in my brother’s room and that I’m very confused by.”

“Okay, I said we were no longer enemies, I don’t know if we’re quite there yet.”

“You need to see this. Because I found it and immediately thought ‘what the fuck?’” Azula said. Katara gaped. It had not been a smooth conversational transition. Katara recalled Zuko’s extreme awkwardness. Maybe it ran in the family. Or maybe, a voice in the back of her head suggested, it's worse than that. Maybe having OzaI as a father had fucked them both up on countless levels. Having the sheriff as a father was intimidating, and Azula and Zuko had both always used this to their advantage in the past. Now that neither of them was living with Ozai, they couldn’t. Maybe having spent their entire childhoods relying on having a father that everyone was afraid of hadn't been the best for developing skills such as 'interaction with other humans.' It was a depressing thought, and it caused Katara to extend a little more empathy towards Azula. “Maybe you’ll understand,” Azula continued.

Katara wasn’t sure she wanted to see whatever Azula was digging in her backpack for, but she was also dying of curiosity now. So, she sat patiently partially because she wanted to know what the hell Azula was talking about but partially because – to be honest – she was starting to develop something like a feeling of companionship for Azula. It hadn’t been intentional. Actually, she’d put a lot of energy into disliking Azula for very valid reasons. Now though, hearing that Azula was in therapy and trying to be better, and aiming for a non-enemy relationship with Katara, it was hard to hate her.

 

* * * * * * * * *

Sokka had never been happier.

He was loving rehearsals for the play. He was loving this school year, in general. He was acing all his classes, he was having fun with his friends, it was a good time. Admittedly, a big part of his good mood was due to his new ex-frienemy current good friend Zuko. He couldn’t believe he’d ever said he didn’t like Zuko. Now, they were practically inseparable and Sokka was more than fine with that.

The only bad thing going on was whatever was bothering Katara. He had decided not to give her the note from “Toph” when it became clear that they were in a fight of some kind. He’d tried to ask both of them about it several times, but he always got blown off. He was trying to think of another plan – maybe a note apologizing instead of a note confessing romantic feelings, but he hadn’t come up with anything solid yet. He hated seeing his sister so down in the dumps though.

Zuko had opened up about how his dad had forever traumatized him when it came to public speaking and Sokka had made it his mission to help Zuko get through this fear before the performance. So, where Aang, Toph, and Katara had once always gone to watch Suki practice for football after school, they now alternated between watching Suki and watching play rehearsals. Sokka figured a small crowd was a good start for Zuko.

It was a Monday afternoon and Sokka and Zuko were sitting in Sokka’s room, running lines. They’d both been some of the first to memorize their lines because they spent so much extra time practicing, but they still liked to practice just to be sure before doing their homework. Zuko was sitting on the floor, leaning against Sokka’s bed and Sokka was laying on the floor next to him with his head in Zuko’s lap.

There was a knock at the door. “Come in!” Sokka called.

Katara opened the door. “Um, hi.”

“Hi Katara!” Zuko said, enthusiastically waving. He’d been trying very hard to get into her good books lately.

“What’s up?” Sokka asked.

“Zuko,” Katara said.

“Yes?” Zuko sounded way too pleased to have Katara addressing him. Sokka rolled his eyes. Aang and Toph had accepted Zuko as their new friend without question. Katara was getting there. Zuko was impatient for her to go ahead and get there. So was Sokka, of course, but he still found it adorably endearing and a bit silly how eager Zuko was to get along with her.

“What is this?” she asked, holding up a piece of paper.

Sokka sat up from Zuko’s lap reluctantly, and he and Zuko both leaned forward to examine the piece of paper. Sokka gaped. He recognized the drawing of Katara he’d done in colored pencil. It was the note he and Aang had written from “Toph” for Katara.

“It looks like a note from Toph,” Sokka said in an innocent voice.

“Azula said she found this in your room, Zuko,” Katara said. Sokka remembered all the times he and Zuko had dumped out their backpacks together over the past week when going over the script for the play and homework. The note must have gotten mixed up with Zuko's things.

“Uh…”

“My brother and Aang wrote this, didn’t they?”

“Well, maybe! I mean, I helped. They had your best interests at heart!” Zuko said. Sokka knew he should be more concerned that Katara had found the note, but Zuko scrambling to make the situation okay was just really cute and he was having a hard time focusing.

“Sokka, you’re aware that Toph can’t write or draw, right?”

“Oh shit…”

“You are an idiot.”

“No he’s not!” Zuko said. Sokka felt his heart swell. Zuko was defending him. Again, he was aware that he should be more concerned with the current situation but it was almost impossible to concentrate with Zuko defending his honor.

Katara sighed. “What made you decide to write this anyway?” she asked, sitting down on Sokka’s bed.

Sokka hopped up and sat down next to her. Zuko hesitated, but sat on the other side of Katara. Sokka tried to read Katara’s face. Something was going on. He’d been trying to figure it out for a while now. She was upset about something, and for whatever reason, she didn’t want to share.

“We could tell something was going on with you guys,” Sokka said. “We kinda thought maybe you guys had feelings for each other. I don’t know. I’m sorry if we caused drama.”

“You didn’t,” Katara said, leaning forward and putting her face in her hands. “I did. As always. God, why do I always have to fuck everything up?”

“No, you don’t,” Zuko said, putting a cautious hand on her shoulder. She didn’t shrug it off, which to Sokka was a sign that she was starting to accept Zuko into their little family.

“You’ve barely even known me that long,” Katara scoffed.

“I’ve known you long enough to know a girl who can put up with this idiot,” he shot Sokka a smile and Sokka stuck his tongue out, “and who can handle me and my sister and all our drama – I think Azula might actually almost consider you a friend which is a miracle for her – and who’s dealt with losing a mother and who’s always been there for her friends and family.”

“I agree,” Sokka said. “Katara, you’ve always been there for me. Through everything. You’ve been there for Aang, and Toph and Suki too. No one thinks you fuck everything up, okay?”

To his surprise, Katara was crying. She wiped at her eyes though. “Thanks,” she said. “Not sure about the part where Azula considers me a friend, but the rest means a lot.”

“Oh no it’s true,” Zuko insisted. “I heard her rehearsing speeches to you in the mirror last night. She only does that when she really cares.”

Katara laughed and wiped her eyes again. “I think I might’ve really fucked things up this time, though,” she said. “With Toph, I mean.”

“Well, what happened?” Sokka asked. “We’ll call up Aang and Suki and get them over here and we can all brainstorm ways to fix it with you. Aang and I were right about the crush thing, weren’t we?” he was sure they were right about that. Katara’s nervous giggle when he said it confirmed his suspicions. “I knew it,” he said. “You were probably totally oblivious and pretending to just be friends. I bet that’s what messed things up,” Sokka said.

Katara laughed, for some reason, though she was still teary-eyed. “Yeah,” she said, shooting Sokka a knowing look that he didn’t understand. “Toph and I were the oblivious ones. Right.”

“Well, let’s call Aang and Suki,” Zuko said. “We’ll figure out a way to fix this, Katara.”

Chapter 10: Apologies and Maybes

Summary:

Then: Azula took things too far in manipulating Ty Lee and Ty Lee finally stood up for herself but accidentally messed things up with Suki in the process. Katara told Toph they couldn't be more than friends anymore in an effort to preserve their friendship. Azula moved in with Zuko and Iroh and started therapy. Sokka and Zuko's friendship got closer than ever.

Now: Ty Lee, Katara, and Azula plan apologies. Sokka plans a party for after the play's opening night. Zuko learns some alarming news that could change everything.

Next time: In the final chapter, the gang all attends a party at Sokka, Katara, and Toph's house after the play's opening night.

Chapter Text

Ty Lee was not great at the whole big speech thing. Most of the time, her easy-going personality and avoidance of conflict made big apologies unnecessary. Also, to be honest, she was a follower by nature. She’d been following Azula as long as she could remember. So, taking a stance wasn’t within her comfort zone. She’d decided to do this, though, and she wasn’t about to back down.

Football and cheer practice were over and she and Suki were standing in the bleachers. Suki was looking hot – in more ways than one – standing in her football uniform with her helmet under her arm, her sweaty hair plastered to her face, one eyebrow raised. Ty Lee had begged Suki to meet with her after practice so they could talk, but now she found herself tongue-tied.

“Well?” Suki asked.

“I wanted to apologize,” Ty Lee said. “I really like you, Suki. You’re fun and you make me laugh and when I’m around you I feel like I can be myself. Not to mention you’re gorgeous,” she felt her cheeks go warm when Suki smiled a little at that. “I shouldn’t have ditched you the other day. It was a crappy move.”

Suki sighed, and sat down on the bleacher bench, setting her helmet beside her. “Why did you?” she asked.

Ty Lee sat down next to her. She’d promised herself she was going to be honest, but she’d never talked to anyone about this before. She knew Mai and Zuko probably knew – and the incident last week made it clear Azula knew. She’d never said it out loud though.

“This is gonna sound bad,” she admitted.

“Hm, you’re worried about sounding worse than someone who would take a girl out on an amazing date, steal a boat for her, swim to shore afterward with her, and then on their second date ditch her?”

“Yeah,” Ty Lee admitted. She was relieved when Suki laughed, and she laughed a little herself. “Okay,” she took a deep breath. “I’ve been in love with Azula for years. She’s my best friend, but I’m not hers.”

“Actually, I think you are her best friend,” Suki said. "If it makes you feel better."

“Really?”

“The way you perked up at that is not encouraging to me,” Suki said.

“Right. I’ve been trying to get over her. I’ll always love her, but a romantic relationship with us would never work.”

“So I’m your second choice?” Suki asked. “Listen, I like you. You’re cute, and you constantly manage to surprise me, and when I’m with you I feel like this awesome version of myself. But I’m no one’s second choice.”

“But you’re not!” Ty Lee said. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. The other day, when she called me, I came running. But then I told her I was done. She kissed me, and I realized I could have everything I’d always thought I wanted but that I didn’t want it anymore. I left after that. And I want to make it right with her, but only as friends. Nothing else, I swear. I like you, Suki, and I want to give us a try."

“Okay,” Suki said.

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, really. I just said I like you a lot, dummy,” Suki said, grinning. “I wanna give this a chance too. But I’m not playing any games,” she added with a serious look.

“Deal,” Ty Lee said with a smile. Then she leaned in and kissed Suki.

It was an amazing kiss. Sure, they were both sweaty from practice and the bleachers weren’t the most comfortable, but Ty Lee had never felt so much joy in a kiss. She’d kissed plenty of guys and girls, but never like this. She wanted to sit here forever with her lips against Suki’s.

 

* * * * * * * * *

“Aang?” Toph asked.

Zuko had driven her and dropped her off at the ice cream parlor near the house to meet with Aang, who said he had a gift card for free double scoops. She had obviously agreed to meet him. She followed Momo, who was wearing a harness, over to the familiar wooden picnic tables, expecting to find Aang there.

“Not quite,” said a familiar voice.

“Katara?” Toph sighed. She sat down on the bench. Momo hopped up beside her and curled up in her lap. “There are no free double scoops, are there?”

“I’ll buy you a double scoop cone.”

“Great, that’ll make up for breaking my heart.”

“I wanted to talk to you, okay? I miss you.”

“Yeah, I can imagine. I’m awesome.”

“You are,” Katara agreed. Toph could hear the smile in her voice. She did not smile back.

“I was an idiot to break up with you.”

“You can’t break up with someone you were never dating.”

“You’re right. And I was an idiot for that too. Toph, can this please be our first real date?”

Toph felt her heart skip a beat. This had been the very thing she’d been wanting for months, but she was afraid to trust it. If Katara really wanted to go on a date with her, why was she only just now asking? It’s not like Toph hadn’t been sending clear signals.

“Why now?” she asked.

“I just told you, I miss you.”

“Okay, but that’s not a good reason to ask me out. If you don’t feel the same – I mean, if you don’t like me like that you can’t force yourself to change your feelings, Katara, I know that.”

She heard Katara get up from the bench across from her and pad through the grass and around the table, then she felt the bench’s weight shift as Katara sat beside her.

“I like you a lot Toph – actually, you know what no, that’s not it. I love you.” Toph felt her heart clench up and she pressed her lips together hard because she was not gonna cry right now. “I always have, and I always will. That’s why I told you I wanted to stop what we were doing. And I should have explained it before. I was scared because I know that no matter what happens you’re one of the most important people in my life and I didn’t want to risk fucking things up. But I think that whatever this is, it’s worth taking a leap of faith. I’m not going to call it a risk because I refuse to think that anything could change the fact that I love you. I'm still scared, but I think this is worth trying. If you're up for it."

“I love you too you big idiot,” she said, and she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Katara’s neck, kissing her. She felt Katara smile against her lips. "Of course I'm up for it," she said.

“I was a stupid coward,” Katara said. “Am I forgiven?”

“Mm, I’ll think about it,” Toph said, grinning. “You may need to make it up to me.”

“How?” Katara asked.

“I can think of a few ways," Toph said, giving Katara a smirk. "If you're up for it."

"Oh, I'm up for it."

 

* * * * * * * * *

Azula hated therapy. Talking about her dad was the bane of her existence. She decided that talking about him with Zuko under the influence of alcohol was the only way that talking about him was acceptable. Yet, her therapist always wanted to talk about tRaUmA and dEpReSsIoN and SeLf HaTrEd. Ugh, it was the worst.

Almost as bad, her therapist wanted to talk about what she could do to start loving herself. It was stupid. She already loved herself. She was the most amazing person in the world. She was smart and badass, and beautiful, and confident. Her therapist never wanted to talk about that though, it had to be all about the ways she was “engaging in self-destructive behavior” by lashing out at people who cared about her and how she "needed to learn real self-love that wasn't superficial." It was all very touchy-feely and even though Azula had to admit it was improving her life a little, she did not have to enjoy it.

So, here she was, in the jasmine dragon, sipping her eighth cup of black tea, practically vibrating, early for her meeting with Ty Lee. She was supposed to apologize. Except how was she supposed to do that? She had broken down in her last therapy session – embarrassing – and admitted that she felt horrible about the way she’d treated Ty Lee. Now, as bad as she wanted to, she couldn’t take that back. How could you apologize for taking advantage of someone who was in love with you and would do anything for you by kissing them just as a manipulation tactic to avoid being alone? There was no way she could take that back or make it okay and every time she thought about it her heart felt like it was going to explode out of her chest from beating so fast.

The door to the shop opened, and she looked up. Katara came in and looked around. When she spotted Azula, she headed over to her table.

“Hello,” Azula said. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m looking for your brother actually,” Katara said. “There’s something I need to talk to him about.”

“There is?”

“Well, Sokka and I are planning a party for after the play this Friday. Opening night, and all. I thought Zuko might want to help plan it. You’re invited, of course.”

“I am?” Azula raised her eyebrows.

“The whole no longer enemies thing has worked so far,” Katara said with a small smile that made Azula uncomfortable. Why was she being so nice? Was this a trick? Was she going to show up to this party and end up having pig’s blood poured on her like in Carrie? Was Katara just waiting for Azula to get too comfortable so she could laugh in her face?

‘Not everyone is out to get you.’ That’s what her therapist kept saying to her. She tried to let the therapist’s voice saying those words repeat in her head. It was a hard concept to get used to.

“I suppose it has,” Azula gave Katara a hesitant smile in return.

“Actually, I should thank you,” Katara said. “Remember that weird note you found in your brother’s room?”

“The note supposedly from the blind girl?” Azula shook her head. She was still bewildered by that. “With the oh-so-flattering picture of you on the back?”

Katara laughed. “That’s the one. Well, it turns out Sokka and Aang wrote it in a poorly thought out attempt to get me to see what I should’ve seen from the beginning. Turns out, Toph does have feelings for me and I feel the same. We’re official now,” she sounded very pleased with herself saying that last part. Who used the title ‘official’ anymore? Azula's first instinct was to make fun of Katara for being such a dork, but she had promised herself not to call anyone any names this week.

“Well, I won’t pretend to understand your feelings for the small abrasive girl, but good for you I suppose. Even if calling yourselves official is a bit reminiscent of a weird nineteen-fifties romantic comedy or something."

“Thanks!” Katara laughed. “I’m not sure it would’ve happened without you showing me that note.”

“I’ll admit, I only showed it to you out of confusion,” Azula laughed. “But I’m actually…glad it worked out.”

“Thank you. I’m lucky. I almost ruined things and messed with her feelings, but in the end, I just needed to apologize and make it clear where I stood.”

“And that worked?”

“It did,” Katara said. She glanced over and spotted Zuko, coming out from behind the counter. “Are you meeting someone?” Katara asked.

“Yes, Ty Lee will be here soon,” Azula said.

“Alright,” Katara said, waving and walking over to meet Zuko. “Well, I’ll see you later then!”

Azula sat, contemplating that interaction. She had always been cruel to Katara, and yet Katara was acting as if they were friends. She smiled a little, relaxing more than before. If she could become friends with Katara - or something like friends - maybe, just maybe, she could get Ty Lee to not hate her forever. It was a long shot, but she was determined to try.

Then, the door to the Jasmine Dragon opened and Ty Lee came in and the panicked feeling was back. She waved, and Ty Lee came over and sat across from her.

“I’m glad you asked me to meet here,” Ty Lee said. “I missed you.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Azula was taken aback. She had expected anger or heartbreak. She was used to using fear and manipulation, and the idea of having a vulnerable conversation with Ty Lee had been terrifying her. Maybe this was going to be easier than she thought.

“Yeah, you’re my best friend, of course, I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve…” Azula took a deep breath. “I’ve missed you too. I was horrible to you, and I’m so sorry.”

“I was wrong too,” Ty Lee said. Again, this was not the response Azula had expected. She'd even mentally prepared herself for the potential of groveling.

“You weren’t!” Azula said. “I took advantage of you.”

“Maybe,” Ty Lee agreed. “But I should’ve never built my entire world around you the way I did. I can’t do that anymore.”

“I know,” Azula said. “I understand.”

“But you’ll always be my best friend.”

Azula smiled. She hadn’t been sure Ty Lee would forgive her, let alone stay friends with her. They both got up and hugged, and she had the feeling that maybe it could be even better than that. Maybe they could go from here and build a friendship better than the one they’d had before.

 

* * * * * * * * *

It was late in the evening, Iroh was downstairs working the tea shop, Azula was sitting in the armchair reading a magazine, and Zuko was sitting on the loveseat half-watching an episode of She-Ra he’d seen a hundred times. It was a comfortable evening, and he probably would’ve been totally relaxed if it wasn’t for the talk he’d had with Katara earlier. As it was, he found himself at a loss.

He stood up and started pacing around the room. Azula glanced up from her magazine and looked at him with narrowed eyes. He kept pacing.

After a minute, she sighed. “Is something bothering you?” she asked.

“You know how Katara came over earlier?”

“Yes. She mentioned you were planning a party after the play this Friday. Thanks for inviting me, by the way.”

Zuko frowned and stopped pacing for a moment. He hadn’t even known they were having a party until today, and he’d been so preoccupied with the other things Katara said that the party was the farthest thing from his mind. “Sorry. You’re invited, obviously.”

“Katara already invited me.”

He started pacing again. “Oh. That’s good.”

“Is that why you’re all worked up? You’re worried about the play? Or the party? Or both?”

“No.”

“Well, I’m not in the mood for guessing games.”

He sighed and sat back down. “Katara warned me not to hurt her brother. She thinks he’s in love with me. That’s crazy!”

Azula rolled her eyes and went back to her magazine. “Oh, that’s all?”

“That’s all?” Zuko burst out, throwing his arms in the air. “That’s all?” he repeated, yelling now. “Yes, that’s all!”

Azula flipped a page in the magazine. She shrugged. “I figured as much,” she said, without looking up.

Zuko just stared at her, but she didn’t say anything else. He was in total shock. He couldn’t believe this. He’d considered being Sokka’s friend the highest honor. That there could be something else going on was too much to hope for. But Katara had said it like it was obvious, and even Azula seemed to think it went without saying. So maybe…maybe…

Chapter 11: love amongst the dragons

Summary:

'Love Amongst the Dragons' has its opening night. Azula has an important but terrifying conversation with Sokka. The gaang has a sleepover.

A/N: I cannot thank everyone who's read this fic & left kudos & reviews enough! My entire day is made anytime someone leaves a comment. I had so much fun writing this fic & I hope I was able to end it on a satisfying note ❤️

Chapter Text

“You got this,” Sokka said. “Breathe.”

“Right,” Zuko agreed. “How do I do that again?” Throughout rehearsals, Zuko had become more and more confident in his acting abilities. When he was submerged in his role, he didn’t feel awkward or insecure, he could become the Dark Water Spirit and forget about all his real-life problems. Performing in front of people was different though.

“Take a deep breath in and count to five. Then exhale and count to five. Katara taught me that.”

“Listen to you, using my advice,” Katara said with a grin. “Anyway, you’ll both be amazing.”

Zuko, Sokka, Aang, Katara, Toph, Suki, Ty Lee, Mai, Jin, and Azula were convened in the hall outside the amphitheater, waiting to go in.

“Yeah,” Toph agreed. “Anyway, you can’t be worse than the Ember Island Players.”

“Don’t get him started about those idiots,” Mai said to Toph, rolling her eyes.

“Alright, ready?” Sokka asked.

“No.”

“We got this,” Sokka said, taking Zuko’s hand and dragging him to the amphitheater.

The play wasn’t the only thing wearing on Zuko’s nerves. Ever since his talk earlier in the week with Katara, every time Sokka did something like hold his hand, or hug him, or rest his head on Zuko’s shoulder, Zuko panicked. Sokka was a very physically affectionate person, so this was pretty often.

Even if he survived the play, how was he supposed to survive the party afterward? And worse, the sleepover? He was supposed to spend the night at Sokka’s afterward since it was Friday night and the party was likely to go late anyway. What if Sokka wanted them to share a bed again? Was he just supposed to forget that Katara thought Sokka was in love with him?

Because it was crazy, right? Sokka couldn’t possibly have feelings for him. Something like that would just never happen. It was too much to ask for. He already had the inexplicable privilege of being allowed to call Sokka a friend. Being allowed to call him something else – like a boyfriend – was just too much for Zuko to even consider.

 

* * * * * * * * *

 

Sokka couldn’t believe how well the play went. Afterward, the audience clapped for a long time and most even gave a standing ovation. Sokka had never experienced a crowd clapping for him like that and it was an amazing thrill. He found himself thinking that theatre was for sure going to be a big part of his life going forward. He ate up the attention from the crowd and afterward all his friends came over and hugged him and clapped him on the back and told him he’d done great. It was a high he didn’t want to come down from.

The afterparty had attracted a lot more attention than he’d thought, too. He hadn’t been sure if it would considering his dad was home, and it was a rather tame high school party. It seemed that Suki had invited the entire football team and Ty Lee had invited the entire cheer squad, so they had the popular crowd as well as their usual friends. Mai and Jin had come over to tell Sokka they’d enjoyed the show – well, Mai’s exact words were ‘it was less boring than I thought it would be' - before disappearing outside. He saw Suki and Ty Lee at the snack table, laughing about something. Katara and Toph were talking to Aang and holding hands.

Sokka wanted to find Zuko, though. They hadn’t had a chance to talk alone as they’d both been surrounded with people since the show. He wanted to tell him he’d been amazing. He spotted Azula, standing in the corner looking uncomfortable though, and decided to go over and talk to her. He was sort of surprised Azula had come. Apparently, Katara had even invited her to spend the night afterward along with Zuko, Aang, and Suki who were also staying. According to Katara, Azula had said she’d think about it which was like a miracle coming from Azula.

“Hey,” he said. “Thanks for coming.”

“You’re welcome,” she said. “It’s not as if any party would be complete without my presence. I couldn’t let my brother’s celebration be a failure.”

“Right,” Sokka laughed. “Couldn’t allow that.”

“Are you making fun of me?” she asked with narrowed eyes.

“What? No!” he said, quickly. “I’m seriously glad you came. Are you staying for the sleepover afterward?”

“I don’t know.”

“You should!”

“Hm. Listen, I’ve actually been wanting to talk to you about something.”

“Really?” Sokka was surprised. He didn’t think he’d ever had a one-on-one conversation with Azula for this long before.

“Yes. Follow me outside.”

Sokka shrugged and followed her. They went out to the backyard where more people were hanging out. He spotted Zuko by the metal fireplace talking with Mai and Jin. He decided to head in that direction, but before he could, Azula grabbed his arm to stop him.

She cleared her throat. “It’s my understanding that it is the role of a trusted family member to give a speech of some kind in this situation. At least, Katara gave a speech to Zuko. So, you need to listen to me.”

“Huh? What kind of situation?” Sokka asked.

“I’m fairly certain my brother is in love with you or at least he has feelings for you. So, I’ ve-”

“I’m sorry, what?” Sokka interrupted.

“Yes, so anyway, I must tell you that if you hurt him,” she met Sokka’s eyes and he gulped. Since Azula had moved in with Iroh and started therapy, she’d made an obvious effort to be more normal and less terrifying, but right now all the intimidation and raw evil he was used to radiating from her was back. He was sure that if this were a TV show, scary music would be playing. “I will burn you alive in your sleep.” When she said that last part, she articulated each word with cold precision and seemed to be gazing into his very soul. “Do you understand?”

“Uh, yeah. I understand. Loud and clear. No hurting Zuko. Don’t worry, wasn’t on my agenda.”

“Well, that’s good,” Azula said, lightening up and smiling. The intense villainous music that had been rising in Sokka’s imagination stopped and Azula looked cheerful again. “You know, I like you Sokka. You’re a little odd, and I can’t understand whether you’re a genius or an idiot which I find disconcerting, but you make my brother happy and you bought me Wendy’s once. I’m so glad we’re friends now. I think I will stay for that sleepover. It should be fun.”

Sokka gaped at her. She grinned, patted him on the shoulder, and went over to join Zuko by the fire leaving Sokka in stunned silence. Once she was gone and the fear started to leave his system, he started to freak out about what she’d said. Zuko was in love with him? And Katara had talked to Zuko about this? What? That couldn’t possibly be true, could it? There was no way. Right? Right?

 

* * * * * * * * *

 

The party tapered out over the course of several hours. Hakoda had gone upstairs during most of it, but he came back down to talk to parents who were picking up their kids and to say goodnight to the group that was staying. Zuko was still riding the high of the successful performance, but he was also still incredibly nervous around Sokka after his talk with Katara.

Katara, Toph, Aang, Suki, Azula, Sokka, and Zuko were now sitting in the living room. It was either very late night or early morning, Zuko couldn’t be sure. Katara had made the mistake of trying to be nice and telling Azula to pick a movie, so they were watching one of Azula’s favorites, ‘Hostel.’ Zuko had seen this movie before because his sister watched it pretty often. It was always disturbing though.

Zuko liked horror movies, he was just worried that they were potentially traumatizing Aang who had tried to convince everyone to watch a Disney movie. Also, Sokka was sitting next to him on the floor and holding his hand which was inducing more panic in Zuko than any movie could. Okay, fine, so maybe concern over Sokka cuddled up to him during a scary movie in the dark had been the main reason Zuko had been against this movie choice. Whatever.

Aang, Suki, Toph, Katara, and Azula were sitting on the couch. Zuko had agreed to sit on the floor, leaning against the couch, thinking Sokka would sit up there with his friends. Sokka sat down next to him when the movie started though, pulling a blanket over both of them. Whenever something scary happened, Zuko heard Aang’s gasp and then felt Sokka’s hand squeezing his. It was getting harder and harder to pay attention to the movie, honestly.

The closing credits started playing, and Zuko yawned and glanced up at the sofa. Toph, who had loved the movie almost as much as Azula and cheered during every death scene, was grinning. “That was amazing,” she said. “Azula, you’re invited to choose every movie we watch from now on.”

Of course, everyone knew Toph hadn't actually been able to SEE the movie, but that hadn't stopped her from enjoying the screams of pain and sounds of squelching flesh. Also, the others had whispered a few descriptions to her. The detailed descriptions, complete with animated details about the specific anatomy of the characters being killed and the pressure points being hit, had done nothing to calm Aang down. Zuko made an internal promise to make sure next time they all hung out he'd help Aang fight for a Disney movie.

“Well, maybe not every movie,” Aang said, shuddering. The poor guy looked like he was never going to sleep again.

“Wait until you see the sequel,” Azula said to Toph, her eyes lighting up. “It’s even better.”

“Oh fuck yeah,” Toph said.

“The third one is a bit of a disappointment, but it’s alright,” Azula went on. “Have you seen Grindhouse?”

“No?” Toph sounded excited.

Zuko, knowing his sister, knew that this conversation had the potential to go on for a while, so he yawned pointedly.

They had all laid out their sleeping bags and pillows across the living room floor before starting the movie and once everyone had brushed their teeth, they took their respective spots. Even after the TV was turned off and everyone had said goodnight Azula and Toph continued their conversation about the movie in quiet voices for a bit, agreeing to start having regular horror movie marathons together. Eventually, though, the pauses between their discussion grew longer and Toph started snoring.

Zuko couldn’t sleep. Sokka’s sleeping bag was right next to his, and Sokka was laying so close that their arms were pressed together even though there was plenty of room for them to spread out. He kept thinking about Katara saying ‘so my brother is obviously in love with you.’

“Zuko?” Sokka asked. “You awake?”

“Yeah.”

“Wanna go sit on the porch? I can’t sleep.”

“Ok.”

Although the days were still warm, the crisp cool of autumn was making its way into the air. When they opened the front door and were met with a cold breeze, Zuko turned around and grabbed a sleeping bag, taking it outside. They sat down on the porch swing, and Zuko unzipped the sleeping bag and used it to cover both of them. Despite his self-consciousness, he cuddled close to Sokka and was grateful when Sokka wrapped an arm around him.

“Scared from the movie?”

“What?” Zuko looked at Sokka, confused.

“I could tell it really freaked you out. I liked it, but it was pretty messed up,” Sokka said.

“Oh,” Zuko huffed in surprised. He’d already forgotten they’d watched a scary movie. “Not really. I’ve seen it before.”

“Oh,” Sokka looked a little confused but shrugged. Zuko kicked himself internally. Why had he said that? He should’ve blown off his nerves as being due to the movie. Sokka would’ve believed that. Stupid! “You were pretty great tonight,” Sokka said. “In the play.”

“So were you,” Zuko said. “I’m really glad we ended up doing the play together.”

“Me too,” Sokka agreed. “It’s hard to believe we haven’t always been friends.”

“I know.”

Sokka seemed uncharacteristically nervous. Zuko was used to being the perpetually nervous one, so he was curious about what was putting an edge in Sokka’s voice. Sokka turned so they were looking at each other. Zuko became intensely aware of their proximity, and Sokka’s arm around his shoulder. Their faces were very close.

Then, Sokka leaned in and their lips met. Zuko’s first instinct was to freeze and tense up. Sokka noticed, obviously, and pulled away.

“Sorry!” Sokka said.

“Don’t be,” Zuko said before he could mess this up. He leaned in and kissed Sokka again, and this time they were both kissing each other.

Zuko wrapped his arms around Sokka and kissed him like he’d never kissed anyone before. Kissing Sokka was like being enveloped in love and safety and warmth and Zuko had never experienced anything better in terms of physical affection. When they pulled apart, they were both smiling and breathless.

“Well, that was something,” Zuko said.

“Yes,” Sokka breathed. “I really like you.”

“I really like you too.”

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” Sokka admitted.

“You have?”

“Yeah. I just didn’t know if I had a shot.”

“You’ve got a shot,” Zuko said, laughing a little. “Actually, I was worried about the same thing. I felt so lucky to even know you, I thought hoping for anything more was like hoping for a miracle.”

Sokka laughed.

Zuko shot him an annoyed look. “It’s not funny. I’m over here baring my soul.”

“No,” Sokka said, shaking his head and still looking amused. “It’s just that I was literally worried for the exact same reason.”

They both laughed then and kissed again.

“What the hell?” a surprised voice said loudly.

They both looked up to find the door open and Azula with an unlit cigarette between her teeth and a lighter in her hand, looking tired and irritated. Suki, Katara, Toph, and Aang had all apparently been woken up by Azula’s shout and hurried to the doorway to see what was going on. Zuko felt his cheeks burning.

“What’s wrong?” Katara asked, rubbing her eyes.

“Sorry, that came out louder and harsher than I meant, I’m half asleep,” Azula said through a yawn “I’ll be happy for you two when I’m more awake.”

“Is everyone okay? No one’s being murdered right?” Aang asked anxiously.

“We’re good,” Sokka said, flushing. Sokka blushing was definitely the most adorable sight in the world.

“You remember what I said to you earlier, right Sokka?” Azula asked, lighting her cigarette and walking over to sit on the porch steps.

“Yeah,” Sokka said. “Won’t be forgetting that anytime soon.”

“Good,” Azula said.

Zuko shot Sokka a questioning look, but Sokka just shook his head.

“Wait, were these two doing gross stuff under our sleeping bag?” Katara asked Azula. “Sokka, we use these bags for camping trips, come on.”

“What? No!” Sokka said. “We were just kissing, god!”

“Hah!” Toph said. “I fucking knew it.”

“Duh,” Suki agreed. “Everyone with eyes knew it.”

“Don’t be ableist,” Aang said. “Toph just said she knew it."

“I meant metaphorical eyes,” Suki said, rolling her eyes.

“You guys all knew?” Sokka asked.

“No offense, but you guys weren’t as subtle as you thought you were,” Katara said. "I don't know why you wanted it a secret. Literally no one in this friend group is straight, we wouldn't have judged you."

“This is the first time we’ve kissed!” Zuko burst out.

Everyone stared. “Wait, really?” Suki asked.

“Yes!” Sokka and Zuko said at the same time.

“Damn, we just interrupted something that was a long time coming didn’t we?” Toph said.

“Yes!” Sokka said.

“Okay, we’re going to bed,” Aang said, with a laugh.“Goodnight guys!"

"Don't do anything gross under our sleeping bag!" Katara said.

"Shut up!" Sokka yelled.

They all hurried inside, Azula putting her cigarette out on the porch rail before going in. Zuko could feel his cheeks burning, but he also couldn’t stop smiling. When the door shut behind their friends, he laughed. At last, they picked up where they’d left off.

It had indeed, been a long time coming.

Notes:

thank you so much if you took the time to read my silly ramblings about these characters whomst I love very much!

if you want, come be friends with me on Tumblr @ juniperhillpatient