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The first time it happened, Dick figured it was just a coincidence. Maybe Jason was showing Tim and Damian some of the hits of the early 90s, and they just so happened to be playing Sir Mix-a-Lot’s ‘Baby Got Back’ when Dick walked into the living room. And surely it was this coincidence that caused Tim to snort back a cough of laughter, and look embarrassed.
-
The second time, Dick was less certain it was a coincidence. True, it was theoretically possible that they’d just happen to be playing the same clip of song twice (This time when he entered the cave after finishing patrol), but it was becoming increasingly unlikely.
And from Bruce’s grunt of displeasure, he noticed as well. “No songs in the cave,” Batman growled. “It’s distracting.” He glowered at all of them, even though it wasn’t Dick’s fault. “You should all know better. I expect a more professional work environment from now on.”
“What did I even do?” Dick asked, only to be met with a bat glare. Sure, he was guilty by association now. How unfair.
“Sorry, B,” Tim piped up, not looking at all sorry.
“We won’t play music in the cave, anymore” Jason said, giving Bruce a quick smirk.
-
The third time it happened, Dick was relatively certain by now that it was on purpose. It wasn’t like Dick didn’t realize he had a big butt, it was one of his many assets (though really, people made a bigger deal about it than he thought was necessary).
*
I like big butts, and I cannot lie…
*
Dick squatted down low and started twerking to the music. It was worth it to watch his brothers’ jaws drop. “What, don’t be jealous,” Dick said as soon as the song clip was over. “I know my butt is bootylicious, but thanks for reminding me.”
Tim facepalmed, Damian looked scandalized, and Jason made a scoffing noise.
Jason’s expression turned mean. “It figures this would just feed your giant ego, the only thing that’s bigger than your ass.”
“Feel free to keep playing it though,” Dick said, ignoring Jason’s comment. “And next time we could all dance.”
Jason rolled his eyes. “What, we just play the clip and all start twerking when Bruce comes in the room?”
“That’s actually a pretty good idea,” Tim said. “And as long as we don’t play the music in the cave, Bruce can’t complain.”
“That is a suitable plan to greatly annoy father,” Damian agreed.
-
After dinner (since none of them dared to play music in the kitchen without Alfred’s permission), Dick just happened to enter the living room at the same time as Bruce. Tim, Jason and Damian were ready with the music clip.
Dick instantly started twerking, and his brothers joined in the attempt. What they lacked in skill, they mostly made up with enthusiasm. Mostly. Dick would definitely have to give them dancing lessons later.
“C’mon, B, let’s dance,” Dick shouted gleefully.
Bruce facepalmed. “What did I say before?”
“This is not the cave, father, therefore you cannot complain,” Damian reminded him.
“Yeah, Demon Brat is right, you only prohibited songs in the cave,” Jason said, twerking into an end table, and knocking over a lamp that probably cost more than Dick had ever made in his entire life.
Bruce threw his hands up into the air. “Fine, just don’t destroy the house or you’re answering to Alfred.” Then he stomped out of the room.
Jason cackled evilly and carefully set the lamp back on the end table. “I think we got to him.”
-
Five shots of whiskey later, Bruce winced as he continued to hear music and shrieking laughter from upstairs.
“Lower, little D, lower!”
“Cass! C’mon join in the fun!”
“Tim, you call that twerking? Move!”
Alfred gave him a sympathetic smile, then briefly shuddered as they heard the sound of crashing glass.
“I’m okay!!”
“Why are they like this Alfred, why?” Bruce asked, holding his head in his hands. “I don’t even know what to do.”
“At least the young masters are having fun,” Alfred said, patting Bruce on the back. “They’ll tire of this game eventually. They always do.”
Alfred straightened up as a loud thud was heard from upstairs. “And,” he added. “I’ll see to it that tomorrow they spend the early morning hours cleaning up after themselves.”