Work Text:
To say Merlin was exhausted would be an understatement. The past few weeks had been an utter nightmare with uni assignments due at the same time, not to mention he was forced to put in extra hours at the hospital, most of which were night hours. The days consisted of Merlin sitting at the kitchen counter either staring at the computer screen, reading through his textbooks or making notes. Every night he would tell himself that he would get home from work, go straight to bed and finish his essays in the Morning but every time he tried to go to sleep his body wouldn't co-operate. His mind refused to shut off, usually little voices in the back of his head making up scenarios that would happen if he didn't finish his essay on time or random facts from the textbooks he had read floating around his brain. Though his eyes were heavy, they refused to actually close and even if they did close and he managed to go to sleep something always woke him up. Weather it be the sounds of his roommate coming home or even the sounds of the tap dripping in the kitchen.
His friends had expressed their concerns when Merlin started to lose focus and would constantly zone out of a conversation. He simply waved them off and said he was just tired because he didn't get a lot of sleep the night before, if only they knew he hadn't slept for more than 2 hours in almost a week. His roommate tried to get him to stop studying for a few hours and come with him to get coffee or meet up with his friends, anything to get him out of the flat but he always refused.
**
Merlin groaned as the low battery warning for his laptop went off for the third time that day. He reached out to plug the charger back in and was suddenly made aware of the crick in his neck and the soreness of his back. He was also made aware of the background thump of an incoming headache and the fuzzy feeling in his eyes. Despite his discomfort, he refused to stop and continued to study.
It wasn't until almost half an hour later, when his eyes started to droop, did he finally give in and walked over to the couch and stared at the TV. He briefly thought about turning it on the flicking through the channels as a distraction but the pounding in his head started to get louder and he figured that wouldn't be the best idea. As he continued to stare at the TV, his eyes started to droop even more and the crick in his neck returned. He thought it over for a moment before deciding it couldn't hurt to lie down and rest his eyes for a few minutes before he would get back into studying.
Almost the second his head hit the cushion his eyes fluttered closed and he was unable to open them again. The sounds of the cars around him and the rain drops hitting the window started to fade out until they were merely background noise. Despite him not wanting to stop studying, he was glad to have a break and maybe even get a few hours of sleep. He knew it was a long shot and he would probably wake up at the faintest noise, yet he couldn't bring himself to open his eyes.
Just as the noises around him had completely faded and his body felt light, the sound of keys jangling snapped him back into reality. Soon after, he heard the front door open which was accompanied by heavy footsteps. Merlin tried to pry his eyes open and get back to his studies but his eyes were too heavy and the darkness was doing the world of good for his headache.
"Merlin?" He heard Arthur's voice from somewhere behind him. Not even a second later he heard quiet footsteps and he felt a presence in front of him.
Merlin heard a soft chuckle and felt the blanket that was hanging over the back of the couch being draped over him. He expected for Arthur to leave and get ready for bed, what he did not expect was a soft hand to gently push some fallen hairs behind his ears. He fought against the smile that tugged at his lips and kept his breathing steady in hopes of actually falling asleep.
"You really are an idiot, aren't you?" Arthur whispered. Merlin wanted to sit up and protest, to say that if he was being an idiot he probably had a good reason, but his body felt so heavy and he didn't have the energy to open his eyes let alone move.
"I'm glad you're finally getting some sleep, you haven't slept in a while have you?" Merlin almost flinched as he felt fingers brush against his cheek bones. The feeling of Arthur's fingers slowly ghosting over his skin as he trailed his fingers across his sharp cheekbones, over the bridge of his nose and along his jawline almost made him laugh but he didn't want to ruin whatever moment they were having so he buried his head further into the couch.
"You worried me you know, Merlin. I know how much effort you put into Uni and work and it baffles me how you didn't pass out from exhaustion" Arthur's voice was softer than he had ever heard it. Usually his roommate was loud and obnoxious but this was different, his voice was so soft it was almost a whisper.
He felt the weight of what he assumed to be Arthur's elbow on the couch which was accompanied by a hand running through his no doubt messy hair, gently twisting the locks between his fingers. "Merlin, i know you're asleep and you cant hear me but i need to tell you something. This is surprisingly hard to say, even if you won't remember what i'm gonna say"
Merlin's heart started to race for some unknown reason. He had no idea what Arthur wanted to tell him but he knew it was something relatively big if he couldn't tell him when he was awake. For a brief moment he wondered if he should force his eyes open so he and Arthur could have an actual conversation, but then he felt Arthur's hand grasp his own and run his thumbs under his knuckles and decided he would just continue to pretend he was asleep and talk with him about it in the Morning.
" I have no idea how to say this if i'm honest. I'm shit at talking about feelings or emotions, i always have been. I wish i could be like you, wear my heart on my sleeve and talk about what i'm feeling with whoever will listen, it's one of the things i love about you"
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't help the movement of his hand as his body stilled. Had he heard that correctly? was this even real? maybe this entire conversation is just a dream. He heard Arthur take a long, shaky breath before his grip tightened on his hand and continued to run his thumbs over his knuckles.
"when i first met you, i thought you were such an annoying idiot. I had no idea how someone as rude and clumsy could manage to get into one of the most expensive Universities in all of England, let alone work at Hospital. No matter how much i hated you, Gwen seemed to speak highly of you so i figured i'd give you a chance, and i'm so glad i did. I can admit it now that when i first met you, no matter how much you irritated me, you also intrigued me to no end. I don't even remember how it happened if i'm honest but we started to hang out often, at first we only saw each other through mutual friends, but then we somehow started to see each other more and more often until we began going places, just the two of us. It wasn't until you saved my life, threw yourself in front of a bus for me, that i realised how much i actually liked you. The month you were in a coma was easily the longest month of my life, simply because i couldn't hear your voice or see those blue eyes that literally took my breath away. I spent every minute of that month by your side, holding your hand and telling you about my day or reading you books until you woke up. After you got better i realised you risked your life for someone who was always rude to you and i needed to do something as a thank you. It wasn't nearly enough but i offered you the spare bedroom in my flat and when you accepted i had to restrain myself from throwing myself at you there and then"
"There's so many things i love about you. You're eyes are one of my favourite things about you, a long with your smile. Fuck, that smile is going to be the death of me one day. I know you deserve to be told these things when you're actually awake but the truth is you make me so nervous and i just can't get the words out. I sound like a lovesick teenager but its the truth"
It took all of Merlin's willpower not to let the tears brimming in his eyes slide down his cheeks and to keep his breathing steady. His heart was hammering in his chest so hard he swore he could actually feel it against his ribs. He felt the weight of Arthur's arms pushing against the couch and suddenly he no longer seemed as close as he was. Just as he was starting to miss the warmth that radiated off him, he felt warm fingers brush the hair off his forehead which was followed by the feeling of warm lips softly pressing against his temple.
"I love you, Merlin. You deserve to hear it every single day of your life and i promise i will make that happen soon enough"