Chapter Text
It was late afternoon in the mindscape and the house had been moderately quiet. There was the faint clattering of pans as Patton cooked in the kitchen, the soft scratching of Virgil’s crayons, and Logan’s quiet snores coming from the couch. They had been the only sounds cutting through the lazy atmosphere, up until Roman started playing with his Disney figurines. The silly voices and impromptu solos he made the characters perform interrupted the calm, though it was such a common sound in the house that no one seemed to notice the change.
Virgil had regressed a few hours earlier and, as usual, Roman’s littlespace quickly followed. There were a variety of reasons Virgil’s regression often inspired Roman to trigger his age dreaming; seeing Virgil act so young sparked the craving for Roman himself to let go of adult responsibilities, plus seeing Virgil’s various baby items such as his plushes and soft clothes made Roman miss his own little items - especially his toys. Also (and probably most of all), the care and affection that Patton and Logan bestowed upon a regressed Virgil did admittedly make Roman jealous. But he had learned that if he only asked for it, he was given the same level of attention, so it no longer upset him as it had previously. Instead of getting angry like he used to, he knew he could just fall into his own littlespace and he and Virgil could both be taken care of without any arguments. Though that afternoon, not much attention was being given to either of them.
Patton had tasked Logan with caregiving duties when he left to make dinner. While the logical side had taken to his caregiving headspace much more readily in the recent weeks, the lull of the afternoon had apparently made him lethargic and he had fallen asleep not long after.
Roman didn’t mind, though. As Virgil’s big brother, that meant that while the caregivers were not in the room (or were unconscious) it was Roman who was in charge! He hadn’t taken to caregiving, and he had no desire to, but he felt a childish giddiness at being given the role of a protector. Even if it was unintentionally handed to him by Logan falling asleep.
But Roman was quickly realising it was a lot harder to look after Virgil than their caregivers made it look.
The littles had both been preoccupied when Patton left, Virgil colouring a picture and Roman playing with his toys. Though, being much more observant and aware in his littlespace than Virgil was, Roman did notice when Patton left. He had tiptoed out quietly, leaving the distracted Virgil unaware of his departure.
Roman knew this was because of how clingy Virgil had become. Ever since they integrated his regression into the family dynamic, Virgil could hardly bear to be away from his Papa’s side for a minute. Logan had said it was something called ‘separation anxiety’ and that it was common for young children. Whatever it was called, Roman still didn’t see why it was worth crying every time their dad left the room. It wasn’t like he went far.
As expected, when Virgil finished his drawing and held it up to where Patton had been sitting, he stiffened on seeing the empty armchair. Roman looked up at the movement and felt his stomach drop when he saw Virgil’s eyes tear up.
He didn’t like it when Virgil cried, partly because it meant he stole all of their caregivers' attention, but mostly because it made Roman’s tummy flip and his throat get all cloggy when he saw his little brother upset. He didn’t like it.
‘It’s okay, Vee,’ Roman said. He dropped his toys and quickly shuffled closer to Virgil on the carpet. Their caregivers had said Virgil needed to be close to someone if he was sad because it helped him feel safer. ‘What’s the matter?’
Virgil’s fingers flew up to tug nervously at the handle of the pacifier that sat in his mouth. His eyes frantically searched around the room.
‘Dad went to make dinner,’ Roman explained. ‘Look, Mom’s still here,’ he pointed at Logan who let out a timely snore.
‘Theep,’ Virgil lisped through his pacifier, sounding upset.
‘Yeah, he’s asleep,’ Roman said, 'but I'm here too.'
The worry stayed on Virgil’s face, and Roman was about to speak again but fell silent when his hand was suddenly covered by something soft and warm. Roman’s gaze fell down to see that Virgil was holding his hand tightly. When he looked back up, Virgil refused to meet his eyes.
Pride surged through Roman. His little brother wanted comfort and was relying on him! He puffed out his chest to look important and tried to think of a way he could help Virgil feel better. He would prove he was just as smart and kind as their caregivers, and then Virgil would love him just as much.
‘Don’t be scared, baby,’ Roman said then twisted his hand around so that he could grip Virgil’s hand back in reassurance. ‘Do you wanna do another colouring?’
A small whimper escaped Virgil as his hand clasped tighter around Roman’s.
‘You wanna stay with me?’ Roman asked and Virgil nodded slightly. ‘Then let’s do a colouring together. We can show Mom when he wakes up and then Dad and they’ll be really happy we played nice together!’
Virgil perked up at the suggestion and Roman was happy to see he didn’t look close to tears anymore. Roman had helped Virgil to stop being scared and came up with a really good way to play together; he was the best big brother ever!
He summoned a large piece of paper, an assortment of coloured markers, and a black fineliner. With the fineliner, he started drawing a complex lined image of an overgrown bush full of leaves and flowers of various shapes. Virgil did not let go of his hand throughout the few minutes it took to finish and Roman was glad his dominant left hand was the one left free to draw.
When it was done, he tipped the coloured pens out of their case and they tumbled unceremoniously onto the floor.
‘You can start colouring that side and I’ll do this side,’ Roman directed, then grabbed a red marker and began adding colour to a rose.
He stopped after a few moments when he realised Virgil hadn’t moved. He looked up with a frown and saw a hesitance in Virgil’s eyes.
‘C’mon, you know how to colour,’ Roman whined in complaint.
Roman thought he had made Virgil feel happy, but now he was just being a scared baby again. And Roman didn’t even know why! He wasn’t good at knowing what was wrong with Virgil, their caregivers were supposed to do that. A faint frustration bubbled in his chest, but he knew to keep it there and not snap at Virgil. That was when things got really frustrating because when Roman yelled, Virgil would cry then Patton got worried and Logan told Roman off for being mean.
‘Why’re you scared?’ Roman asked. Then a thought came to him and he pouted. ‘Do you not like my picture?’
Virgil’s eyes widened and he shook his head. Roman breathed a sigh of relief.
‘Then what? You don’t like using pens? You dunno what colour to use?’ At the last question, Virgil’s hand squeezed and he nodded.
‘That’s silly,’ Roman giggled. Why was Virgil scared about something like that? ‘You can use whatever colour you want.’
‘Bu’ it yours,’ Virgil mumbled, the pacifier garbling his words.
‘Nu-uh,’ Roman shook his head, ‘I made it for both of us. And it’s boring if I choose all the colours, anyway,’ he shrugged then went back to colouring.
After a few seconds, Virgil slowly picked up a purple marker and Roman smiled at him to show that it was good. They coloured together in silence, their hands still joined between them.
A couple of minutes passed before Roman heard a gasp and looked over to see that Virgil’s pen marks had slipped outside of the lines. It wasn’t surprising; Virgil could never stay inside the lines when he coloured. When he first saw the messy work in Virgil’s colouring book, Roman teased him about it but then Virgil got sad and Patton had explained it was because Virgil regresses so young. Roman pointed out that Virgil was also using his wrong hand to colour because he was usually left-handed but Logan told him not to draw attention to it. So Roman apologised and Virgil was never worried about his messy colouring after that.
But for some reason this time Virgil looked like he’d committed an unforgivable crime. His eyes were wide and he had quickly dropped the pen to hide his hands in his sleeves.
‘That looks cool!’ Roman said quickly. He really didn’t want Virgil to start crying again.
Virgil looked like he was scared of him and it made Roman sad. How come Virgil didn’t believe him? He remembered Logan saying something about showing instead of just telling when you’re trying to get someone to understand you, so Roman decided he should show Virgil that colouring outside the lines was okay.
He stabbed his own pen onto the page and purposefully scribbled over the lines. He looked over at Virgil and saw the younger boy look cautiously from the page to Roman.
‘It’s more fun like this,’ Roman assured him. Then he grabbed a different coloured pen and started drawing swirling shapes outside of the lines. It wasn’t a lie - this was way more exciting than trying to be careful with the colours!
Virgil made a noise of understanding then picked up his purple pen and started scribbling randomly too. Soon they were filling the page with a rainbow of colours and shapes and made a silent game of trying to fill up their side of the page faster than the other. The room gradually filled with their growing laughter.
oOo
Logan awoke to the joyful sound of childish giggles.
In any other situation, it would have irritated him to be jolted out of sleep by someone else’s loudness. He heavily relied upon his body to wake him at the perfect stage of his sleep cycle to avoid any grogginess. Logan had made it very clear to the rest of the household a long time ago that they should not wake him unnaturally unless in emergencies. The others certainly didn’t seem to appreciate it on the rare occasion when Logan’s sleep cycle was interrupted and he had been far more impatient than usual.
Though this time Logan did not mind. Blinking his eyes open to see Roman and Virgil laughing together, joined at the hand and smiling brightly immediately dispelled any of Logan’s unsavoury feelings at being woken up. Though realising that he had fallen asleep while he was meant to be looking after the littles did cause him some guilt.
‘I apologise for falling asleep,’ Logan said, readjusting his glasses. ‘Have you two been alright?’
The two looked up at him excitedly.
‘Mom, I looked after Vee while you were asleep!’ Roman cried triumphantly.
‘Thank you, Roman,’ Logan said, ‘it appears you did a wonderful job.’ Both caregivers had realised Roman required a lot of positive reinforcement when he was little, so Logan always made a conscious effort to praise him.
‘Yeah, I did,’ Roman agreed with a big smile.
Virgil released Roman’s hand and stretched his arms out to Logan wordlessly as if he could somehow make them span the length of the living room floor. Logan immediately got up and walked over, settling to kneel on the carpet between both boys.
‘Have you been having fun with your big brother?’ Logan asked as he wrapped an arm around Virgil’s shoulders. Virgil hummed in confirmation and leaned against Logan’s side.
‘Do you like our colouring?’ Roman asked, tugging on Logan’s other arm harshly.
‘There is no need to pull, Roman. Just asking will do,’ Logan reprimanded gently, then looked down at the large piece of paper (A2 size, he noted) in front of him.
The page was decorated in an intricate, hand-drawn floral design, though the colours did not necessarily reflect the image. There were polka dots and spirals and scribbles and doodles of all different hues decorating the edges of the paper, with the middle of it still uncoloured. It was abstract and so something Logan would never normally have seen the point in. Though, he had to admit the disregard for conventionality was rather creative. And the smiles on Roman and Virgil’s faces were enough to convince Logan of the benefits of it.
‘It is rather colourful,’ he said. His neutral response appeared to disappoint Roman, so Logan promptly added, ‘and beautiful.’
‘Thanks, Mom!’ Roman said with a bright smile. ‘This is my side, and that one’s Vee’s,’ he indicated them with his pointer finger.
Logan looked at it more carefully, noticing the contrast between each side of the page. Roman’s colours were much more varied, seemingly using every colour available, and created elegant swirling patterns and smooth gradients. Not a single part of his side was left blank. Virgil’s side was much messier, with less variation in colours - he had used purples and blues mainly with some occasional hints of red. His pen marks were erratic and there were large streaks of white showing through the ink. His colouring was visibly less thought-out than Roman’s, appearing to be far more based on whimsy rather than aesthetics.
A quiet whimper sounded beside him and then Virgil’s face was pressed into his shoulder. Logan realised his quiet deliberation must have made him anxious.
‘The sides are both very different,’ he confirmed, ‘just as you two are very different.’ Virgil’s face pushed further against him. ‘Though they are both equally beautiful.’
He did not have much time to enjoy the look of surprise and delight on Virgil’s face before Roman was jostling his shoulder for attention again.
‘It was my idea!’ he proclaimed. Logan turned his head to him with an exaggerated look of surprise.
‘It was?’ he gasped.
‘Mhm,’ Roman nodded fervently. ‘Vee was nearly crying, so I said we should colour together to make him feel better.’
Logan smiled encouragingly, though tightened his hold around Virgil as he felt the younger side tense. Roman was not exactly delicate when mentioning Virgil’s tears. Still, he did not mean any harm and so there wasn’t much to be done about it.
‘That was very considerate of you,’ Logan said. ‘Your dad will be glad to hear it as well.’
Roman nodded to himself then jumped back into colouring with rekindled fervour.
Logan took the opportunity to give Virgil his undivided attention. It was a rare moment when Roman was occupied enough to not demand it for himself.
‘How are you feeling, Virgil?’ Logan asked, squeezing his shoulder lightly.
Virgil did not offer a response but looked up at Logan expectedly. He was evidently not very verbal at that moment.
‘Do you need anything?’ Logan asked instead, hoping the more direct question would encourage him to communicate.
‘Papa,’ Virgil whispered as soon as Logan finished speaking, the word muffled by his pacifier.
A sharp, unpleasant feeling spiked Logan’s stomach but he chose to ignore it.
‘Shall we go and show Papa the colouring?’ Logan asked.
‘No, it’s not finished yet!’ Roman interrupted.
Logan sighed quietly then turned to see Roman’s pouting face.
‘I believe dinner is almost ready,’ Logan said, going off of the appetising smells that filled the house. ‘And this is a rather large drawing. You may not have time to complete it before your dad sees it.’
‘He can’t see it yet,’ Roman mumbled grumpily. He started colouring again, though this time he was pressing the marker so hard against the paper it made a squeaking sound.
Logan wanted to respond to Roman’s tantrum but felt a gentle tug on his opposite sleeve. He twisted his body to see Virgil shyly holding a marker up to him.
‘For me?’ Logan asked redundantly, taking the pen.
Virgil pointed at the colouring page, his eyes pleading with Logan.
‘Oh, I see,’ Logan said. He considered for a moment then conceded, ‘I suppose I can help.’
Virgil smiled then picked up a pink marker and started scribbling.
Logan popped the cap off of his own pen and started to draw a simple square on the page. As the minutes ticked by, he experimented with various shapes and marks, though eventually settled on writing numbers chronologically. It was calming, and the boys didn’t seem to mind the difference, instead seeming pleased by the wild variation of work on the page.
It did not take long for the page to fill up, and by the time Logan was reaching the 130s their pens were crowding in on each other, fighting over the last few square inches of white paper.
Suddenly, there was a cold, wet swipe on Logan’s hand. With a slight delay, they all realised Virgil had mistakenly drawn over Logan’s hand rather than the paper. The pink pen clattered to the floor as Virgil recoiled from Logan, looking at him anxiously.
‘It’s alright, Virgil,’ Logan hastened to reassure him. ‘It’s only a bit of ink. No cause for worry.’
A mischievous giggle sounded from his other side and another cold tip tickled across his skin, this time on his forearm.
Logan looked over in surprise to see a red crown drawn on his arm. His gaze flitted up to Roman’s challenging smirk. If Roman were an adult at that moment, Logan might have accepted the challenge, but this was a child he was dealing with. He could contain his competitive nature if only to prove he would not sink to such silliness.
‘Highly amusing,’ Logan said, trying to get the right balance of playfulness and sternness in his tone, ‘but we should probably stick to drawing on the -’
He was silenced by a quiet giggle and yet another tickle on his opposite forearm. Virgil was scribbling on his arm happily now. Before Logan could close his gaping mouth, Roman was laughing boisterously and drawing on his arm again.
Logan’s gaze darted between the two impish boys helplessly for a few seconds. Then he raised his pen and said very seriously:
‘You both have made a grave mistake.’
oOo
Patton lifted the wooden spoon to his lips to taste his sauce and smiled at the burst of flavour. Perfect.
He dropped the spoon to the counter and turned off the stovetop. After closing the lid on the saucepan to keep it warm, he checked on the vegetables in the oven. Just a few more minutes and they would be done. Perhaps he could risk just a little bit of playtime with his boys while he waited. He rinsed his hands in the sink then started making his way to the living room, excited to see his family again even if he had only been gone for half an hour.
As he traipsed through the hallway, echoes of laughter became audible and grew louder with every step. Once Patton reached the closed living room door, he almost had to cover his ears from the squeals and joyous shouts that came from inside. He eased the door open silently, not wanting to disturb the fun before he got a chance to observe what exactly had them all so hysterical.
As soon as he poked his head around the door, a wide smile stretched his lips.
Heaped onto the carpet were three writhing bodies; Logan was at the bottom of the pile, his back propped against the front of the couch and his legs splayed out on the floor. They were trying to buck off Roman, who sat on Logan's knees and scribbled a pen over his shins, exposed by his rolled-up pant legs. Then there was Virgil, laid across Logan’s lap and wriggling around as Logan bunched up his sweater and scribbled a pen over his tummy. Virgil was doing his best to retaliate by drawing on Logan’s rosy cheeks, but he was flailing so much from the ticklish scribbling that he could not do much besides giggle and squirm. They were all laughing uncontrollably, gasping for breath as they wrestled playfully with one another.
Patton could hardly believe his eyes and hurriedly took out his phone to snap some pictures so that he would have proof later. The others were so absorbed in their play-fight that they did not notice his presence until Patton put his phone away and finally allowed himself to burst into goofy chuckles along with them.
They slowly seemed to notice the extra set of laughter and ceased their attacks to look over at him. Roman was beaming, appearing delighted that Patton had joined them. Virgil looked shy and curled close to Logan in search of comfort, though Patton could see his dimples and knew he was still smiling behind his pacifier. Logan had completely frozen, his smile dropping from his face within seconds and looking like a deer caught in headlights.
The logical side was so stunned that he startled when Virgil drew a heart on his cheek, evidently taking advantage of Logan’s obliviousness. The sensation shook Logan from his stupor and he looked down at the little in his arms and offered a playful mock glare. When Virgil giggled in response, Logan finally looked back to Patton.
‘They started it,’ he stated very seriously, contrasting the flush on his face.
Roman made a noise of offence and immediately started scribbling on Logan’s leg again. The logical side seemed uncomfortable to continue with Patton in the room, though.
‘That is enough now,’ Logan said. ‘I believe it must be dinnertime given your Dad’s appearance.’ Logan looked up at Patton almost pleadingly and Patton gave him the benefit of the doubt.
‘He’s right, kiddos, time to wash up before dinner!' Patton instructed the children.
Roman groaned loudly and collapsed on the floor by Logan's legs, his prolonged whine becoming muffled by the carpet. Virgil was far more cooperative and held his hands up for Patton to lift him.
Patton complied happily, grasping his arms and hoisting Virgil up to stand. As soon as he was upright, Patton pressed a kiss to his nose. The shorter side made a small sound of surprise.
Logan stood soon after, brushing off wrinkles from his pants. Roman still lay face-down on the floor.
'Come on, little prince,' Patton said. ‘Aren’t you hungry?’
'No,' Roman said stubbornly.
'Playtime is over, Roman, it's dinnertime now,' Logan stated.
'I don't need dinner!'
‘Falsehood.’
'Oh well, I guess Roman won't be coming,' Patton said loudly. Virgil made a noise of worry but Patton stroked his hair gently and winked over at Logan’s concerned look. 'It's a shame... I need a big boy who will help my baby wash his hands. Guess I'll just have to find another brave, handsome prince to help.'
Roman leapt up so fast Patton worried he would collapse from head-rush.
'I can do it, Dad!' he volunteered enthusiastically.
'Oh, thank you, sweetheart!' Patton grinned. He looked to Logan then nodded at Roman pointedly. The logical side nodded, getting the hint.
'Very chivalrous of you, Roman,' Logan praised.
Roman preened at the attention then reached out his hand to Virgil with a bow.
'I shall protect you with my life, young one.'
Virgil slowly reached out and held onto Roman's offered hand but looked up at Patton nervously.
‘I’m going to be right behind you, sweetie,’ Patton said. ‘I’m not going anywhere, don’t worry.’
Virgil nodded and, led by Roman, the two toddled into the hallway.
As Logan tried to make his way past him to leave the room, Patton couldn’t help himself from giggling.
'So... They started it, huh?' Patton asked.
Logan paused in his path and fidgeted with his tie, straightening it where it had been misplaced by their play-fight.
‘Yes, well,’ he cleared his throat, ‘childish behaviour is to be expected of them.’
‘And it’s fun to join in,’ Patton added with a knowing smile. ‘Just because we’re the grown-ups doesn’t mean we can’t be playful too, Logan. I’m glad you’re having fun with them.’
Logan blushed though Patton saw a smile work its way onto his lips.
‘It is… invigorating,’ Logan said monotonously, then added with a concealed chuckle, ‘and they are quite endearing.’
‘Aren’t they?’ Patton agreed enthusiastically. He desperately wanted to add that Logan too was endearing in his own right, but something stopped him. Not because he didn’t truly believe it, but because he was frightened of Logan realising just how sincere the thought was.
Logan’s mouth opened and closed in quick succession. Then he seemed to abandon his train of thought with a shy smile. It made Patton feel dizzy.
‘Dinner?’
‘Oh, right,’ Patton shook his head lightly. ‘Forgot,’ he breathed through an awkward laugh.
Patton turned and made his way through the hallway in the direction of the kitchen with Logan close behind. He had a sudden thought, pausing by the bathroom door and gesturing for Logan to go through to the kitchen without him.
As he stood outside the bathroom he heard Roman explaining to Virgil that he had to wait for the water to get warm but not too hot and that he would check it for him so the baby doesn't hurt himself. Patton's heart swelled. He wondered when Roman had gotten so protective of Virgil, but didn’t care to question it at all. It was positively adorable.
He knocked on the bathroom door then eased it open when Roman called him in.
Roman's hand was stuck under the running tap, his t-shirt getting splashed slightly in the process. Virgil waited patiently behind him, still clutching onto his other hand.
‘Sweethearts, can you please use the potty before dinner too?’ Patton asked. ‘You both haven't been since you were big.'
'Okay, Dad,' Roman shrugged.
'Good boys,' Patton smiled then left for the kitchen.
Just as he and Logan served up the dishes, Roman and Virgil rushed into the kitchen. Well, Roman rushed in, Virgil was dragged behind him quite clumsily. Patton instantly noted the tension in the younger side’s shoulders.
'Are you alright, Vee?' Patton frowned.
‘He was too embarrassed to go potty,' Roman said, pointing at him.
Virgil's cheeks flushed and he ducked his head.
‘We don't point, Roman,’ Logan reprimanded.
‘Oh, sorry,’ Roman muttered, lowering his hand.
'It’s alright, sweetie,' Patton said, then turned his attention to the anxious side. He moved over to rub gently at Virgil’s shoulders, willing him to relax them. 'You didn't wanna go with Roman in the room?'
Virgil shook his head quickly.
'Okay, can you go alone for me?'
Virgil's head shook even faster.
Patton frowned and looked up to Logan for help.
'Virgil, can you tell us why you won’t go to the bathroom alone if not with Roman?' Logan asked calmly.
Virgil just whimpered and buried his head against Patton's shoulder. Patton instinctively petted his hair in comfort.
'Don't worry, baby. Come here,' Patton whispered.
He led Virgil by the hand back to the bathroom, noting how Virgil’s grip tightened as they drew closer. They stopped in front of the door and Virgil ducked behind Patton as if hiding from it. Patton would have thought it cute if it weren’t concerning him.
'Are you too scared to go in on your own?' he asked quietly, knowing Virgil would be more embarrassed if everyone could hear them.
Virgil nodded against his back. Patton slowly turned so that he could see Virgil’s reaction, though made sure his body still blocked his view of the bathroom as Virgil wanted.
'Okay, do you want Papa to come with you?'
Virgil's cheeks turned pink and he shook his head.
Patton felt lost on what to do but could see the whole ordeal was causing Virgil some distress, so he decided to drop it for now. If he needed the bathroom after dinner they could address the issue again. He probably just didn’t need it.
‘Alright, sweetheart, you don’t need to,’ Patton brushed his cheek lightly. ‘Shall we go have our dinner?’
Virgil visibly perked up and nodded his agreement, so Patton led them back to the kitchen where Logan had laid everyone’s plates out.
oOo
Dinner passed by easily, with excited chatter about what they had been up to that afternoon - mostly with Roman speaking on both his and Virgil’s behalf.
After they had eaten, Logan went to have a quick shower to wash off the pen ink and, after a lot of bargaining, Patton finally got the boys to agree they too would bathe, but later. Virgil was too young to bathe alone but also too self-conscious to let Patton bathe him. It was clear he wanted to wait until he was grown-up again, so Patton didn’t push the matter with him. The majority of his careful persuasion was directed at Roman, who did not have any issue with bathing alone (since he could come out of his littlespace voluntarily, unlike Virgil) but was simply stubborn. Eventually, he agreed to wash, though only if he could watch an episode of Steven Universe first. Patton didn’t necessarily mind the compromise.
After Logan got back from his shower, Patton and the littles had already watched one episode of the cartoon. As soon as Logan had entered the living room, Roman darted off to take his shower at light speed. He hurried back within minutes, his hair dripping wet, not wanting to miss any more of the show. Patton chuckled to himself at Roman’s dishevelled appearance, his pyjamas ruffled having been shoved on in a hurry. He would never have let anyone see him like that if he were his usual adult self.
Soon, all four of them were settled into the comfy atmosphere as the third episode started up. Patton and Logan both sat in the middle of the couch. There was barely any space between them, though they didn’t acknowledge it aloud. Meanwhile, Roman and Virgil sat cross-legged on the carpet gazing up at the screen.
They seemed to be enjoying the show far more in their younger mindsets: Roman was bouncing lightly and reciting lines along with the characters animatedly. Virgil was much more subdued, though Patton noticed he had been swaying gently from side to side for the past couple of episodes. He was sure it was a sign Virgil was relaxed and enjoying the cartoon.
Patton slowly began to feel the exhaustion seep into his body, suddenly aware of the fact that he hadn’t had much opportunity to relax that day. He truly didn’t mind that Roman and Virgil were somewhat demanding when little, he enjoyed being there for them. But his head felt heavy and, without a moment to reconsider, he let it drop gently to Logan’s shoulder.
He waited with bated breath to see if Logan would protest but was pleasantly surprised when Logan’s arm very gently curled around his back. He smiled and tried not to squeak with the bubble of excitement in his chest.
A few more minutes passed in peace, and Patton wasn’t sure when but his eyes had fallen shut. It was not often the house felt so tranquil.
Then, out of nowhere, Virgil gasped. Patton’s eyes shot open to watch Virgil clumsily jump onto his feet and bolt out of the room without a word. His pacifier tumbled to the ground where he had been sitting just a second ago.
The other three were shocked into silence for a moment.
‘Huh?’ Roman frowned back at his caregivers, his eyes noticeably settling on Patton and Logan’s cuddling. Patton unwrapped himself from Logan with a faint blush, though any embarrassment was far overwhelmed by concern for Virgil.
‘Was there a monster on the show?’ Patton asked.
‘Not at all,’ Logan said, sounding just as bewildered as the other two.
‘I’m going to check on him,’ Patton said as he jumped up and followed after the younger side without hesitation.
He jogged along the hallway with a heavy feeling in his chest, mind racing with worry. The house suddenly felt bigger than usual. When he rounded a corner, his heart stuttered at what he saw.
Virgil was facing away from him, doubled over in the middle of the hallway. From the back of him, it looked as if he was in pain and clutching his stomach.
Patton rushed over to his side in panic.
'Baby, are you okay? What’s -'
He cut himself off when he realised what was happening. Virgil's eyes were wide with fear, his knees trembling, his hands covering his crotch. They failed to conceal the large wet patch that was quickly spreading on his jeans.
'Oh, sweetheart,' Patton cooed sympathetically, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.
Virgil only just seemed to notice Patton's presence and he startled then quickly ducked his head in shame. His shoulders shook as a puddle gradually formed at his feet.
'It's okay, baby,' Patton whispered, rubbing his hand over Virgil's back. He gently shushed Virgil’s sniffles for a few moments as the boy’s pants and socks quickly became sodden. When the puddle on the floor finally stopped spreading, only a couple of seconds passed before a hoarse sob bounced off the walls.
‘Honey, it’s alright, I promise,’ Patton desperately reassured him.
He wrapped him in a tight hug and Virgil’s hands immediately clutched at the back of Patton’s shirt. The anxious side cried into his chest and the sound broke Patton’s heart.
‘It’s just an accident.’ He kissed Virgil’s head. ‘Don’t worry, sweetheart.’
Logan’s head suddenly popped around the corner a few feet away, clearly having heard some of the commotion. Patton watched silently as Logan’s eyes fell to the floor and the realisation quickly dawned on him. When he looked up from Virgil’s predicament with a concerned glance, Patton shook his head at him very lightly, not wanting Virgil to feel the movement. He didn’t want to see Virgil even more upset knowing that Logan had been witness to his accident too.
‘Mama is keeping Roman busy in the living room,’ Patton said over Virgil’s head with a pointed look at Logan, ‘and I’m gonna give you a warm bubble bath. Doesn’t that sound nice, baby?’
Logan tiptoed back to the living room without a word.
Unaware of Logan’s brief appearance, Virgil spluttered a little on his tears, the sound muffled against Patton’s shirt. It wasn’t an agreement, but it also wasn’t a denial so Patton took the small victory.
He eased Virgil out of his hold, holding him at an arm’s length as he wiped away his tears. It was pointless, though, as they just continued to fall with Virgil’s shaky breaths. Patton wished he could hold his baby until he stopped crying but he didn’t want Virgil’s skin getting irritated by his wet clothes. Plus, he was sure the poor boy wouldn’t want to be stood in his accident for longer than necessary.
‘Let’s go get you cleaned up,’ Patton smiled softly at him.
He wrapped his arm around Virgil’s shoulders to guide him towards the stairs, silently twirling his pointer finger behind his back. The carpet cleaned itself magically behind them.
Once they had reached Virgil’s bedroom, Patton left Virgil standing by the door while he speedily picked out a pair of underwear and pyjamas for him. He heard Virgil’s soft whimpers and sniffles grow louder and more frequent when he stepped away from him, so he was sure to make quick work of it before his absence upset Virgil any more.
He hurried back to Virgil’s side with the clothes and kissed his forehead tenderly.
‘Good boy, you’re so brave,’ Patton praised. He was forced off of Virgil by a firm head shake.
‘Bad,’ Virgil choked and hid his face in his hands.
Patton’s heart ached.
‘You’re not bad, little one,’ he said, crouching slightly so they were level. ‘It’s not your fault. I should have gotten you to go to the toilet earlier. I’m sorry, baby.’
Virgil shook his head again but didn’t offer any words. Patton assumed he had been pushed into a younger headspace and had gone non-verbal.
He led Virgil to the upstairs bathroom slowly, being careful with each step and rubbing his back soothingly the whole time. When they had reached the door, Virgil’s posture suddenly righted itself and he looked at Patton through his bangs. The older side was shocked to see a strange, distant look in his mismatched eyes.
‘I’m, um,’ Virgil’s voice was still slightly babyish, though there was a forced deepness to it. He quickly cleared his throat and took a deep breath, completely avoiding Patton’s eyes. ‘I-I’m older now. I can do this on my own.’
To say Patton was surprised would have been a severe understatement. Virgil never came out of his headspace so suddenly; even when he had made an effort to end his regression prematurely in the past, Virgil could pretend to be an adult all he wanted but it had been too clear that he was still mentally a child. Right now, he didn’t necessarily sound regressed but there was something wrong about it that Patton couldn’t quite pinpoint.
‘But - Kiddo, are you sure?’ Patton tried not to sound upset, though it was harder to keep the confusion from his voice. ‘You seem a bit off, Stormcloud.’
‘It’s Virgil,’ the anxious side grumbled, then grimaced at his tone. ‘I-I’m sorry, Papa… Patton . Thank you for helping, but…’ He held his arms out for his clothes, still looking at the floor. His hands were shaking.
Patton wordlessly handed the pile of clothes over, not knowing what else to do. He watched dejectedly as Virgil rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door shut without another word. The lock clicked instantly and Patton took a deep breath before turning away.
As the sound of water running started in the bathroom, Patton wandered through the hallway, down the stairs, and into the living room, feeling disturbed by the interaction.
‘Patton, you can’t leave a toddler to bathe alone,’ Logan sounded mildly panicked.
He was sitting on the couch with Roman on the headrest behind him, braiding his hair.
‘He’s not regressed anymore,’ Patton said. Logan looked just as shocked as Patton felt.
‘He’s… But that never happens,’ Logan said, frowning.
Patton didn’t know what else to do except collapse wordlessly onto the couch beside him. He rested his head on Logan’s shoulder with a small sigh.
It wasn’t that he loved Virgil any less when he was an adult - he loved all versions of Virgil equally - but it felt unnatural for the boy to switch between headspaces so suddenly. It must have had something to do with the accident, but if anything Patton would have expected it to push Virgil further into his regressed mindset, not tear him out of it.
‘Is Virgil okay?’ Roman questioned.
‘Of course!’ Patton said in his usual bubbly voice, not believing his own words. ‘He’s just showering. Don’t you worry, little prince.’
‘But I heard crying before. What happened?’ Roman shuffled down from the back of the couch, sitting on the armrest and frowning over at both of them. When neither caregiver responded, Roman sighed. ‘I’m a grown-up now, you can tell me.’
‘Uh,’ Patton stumbled, pushing his face further against Logan’s shoulder as if he could hide from the question.
‘Nothing for you to concern yourself with,’ Logan said easily.
Roman huffed indignantly as he pushed himself off of the armrest and stomped across the room. He flopped into the armchair on the opposite side of the couch, pointedly facing away from Logan with his arms crossed. Patton couldn’t conceal his amused smile. Roman obviously wasn’t as grown-up as he claimed to be.
‘I care about him too,’ Roman mumbled. The pout in his voice was audible.
‘We know you do, kiddo,’ Patton reassured him. He felt guilty for making Roman upset, though he knew it was not a good idea to tell the creative side about what had happened. ‘You’re such a good big brother. It’s just… not polite for us to talk about Virgil without him knowing.’
Roman turned his body to squint suspiciously at them. After a moment, he seemed satisfied and smiled.
‘Okay. Do you like Mom’s hair?’ he asked excitedly.
Shaking off the brief shock from the sudden change in subject, Patton lifted his head from Logan’s shoulder to look at Roman’s handiwork. A braid circled the crown of Logan’s head, intertwined with a few daisies from the backyard.
‘Aww, how beautiful,’ Patton gushed.
He raised his hand to stroke along the strands of hair, twirling some loose tendrils around his fingertips. He wanted to comment on how soft Logan’s hair was but paused when he saw Logan’s shoulders were tense.
‘S-sorry,’ he quickly dropped his hand. ‘Should’ve asked to -’
‘No! No, it’s,’ Logan cleared his throat. Patton swore he could see a faint pink dusting his cheekbones. Logan’s lips twitched into a small smile as he briefly met Patton’s eyes before looking away again. ‘It is… acceptable.’
Patton dropped his head back to Logan’s shoulder, hiding his own blush. He didn’t miss the smug smirk on Roman’s face before he closed his eyes, pretending to take a nap.
A few minutes passed by with only the sound of Steven Universe playing on the TV, supplemented by Roman singing along with a musical number. After the ending credits song, Patton heard the TV click off followed by Roman’s whining protest.
‘We can watch more tomorrow,’ Logan’s voice rumbled through his chest and Patton breathed deeply with the comfort of it. ‘It’s nine o’clock so that means no more screens.’
‘Fine,’ Roman sighed, but Patton knew he wasn’t nearly as put out as he was trying to sound. ‘Can we listen to a book?’
Patton opened his eyes with a smile. It had become an almost nightly ritual for all members of the family to sit together and listen to an audiobook to wind down before bed.
‘Of course,’ Logan said. Patton loved the way Roman’s face brightened.
‘Yay! Ooh, can we have Paddington Bear? No, Winnie-the-Pooh! Oh, wait, wait, wait,’ Roman yelled, clearly getting bombarded by more ideas.
‘Hold on, kiddo,’ Patton laughed, ‘how about we ask Virgil to choose between those two? Then you both made the decision together.’
‘Yeah!’ Roman clapped his hands in excitement then something caught his eye outside the open door. ‘Virge, you’re back! You gotta help me pick a book!’
Patton heard a shuffling outside the room and lifted his head from Logan’s shoulder so he could hear better.
‘Oh, really?’ Virgil’s voice sounded soft and wobbly. ‘Uh, a-actually I’m suddenly tired. So, I-I’m probably gonna…’
‘Oh,’ Roman’s face dropped and his eyes followed what Patton assumed was a retreating Virgil. Roman turned a sorrowful look back on his caregivers. ‘Did I say something wrong?’
‘I’m not sure,’ Patton said honestly, just as confused.
He felt Logan nudge his shoulder and he looked to him in question.
‘I’ll talk to him,’ Logan said.
‘Thank you,’ Patton whispered and shifted to allow Logan to get up.
Logan offered a firm nod then quickly rose to go and follow Virgil.
Watching him leave the room, Patton sighed and hoped Logan would be able to figure out what was going on with Virgil better than he could. For now, Patton just focussed on getting that kicked puppy look off of Roman’s face.
‘How about we get some hot cocoa before your Mom can tell us off about it?’
oOo
Logan walked up to Virgil’s door and knocked gently.
‘Virgil? May I speak to you?’
He spoke quieter than usual, certain that Virgil would likely be in a state of distress from the incident in the hallway. There was a moment of silence before he heard a reply.
‘Yeah, sure,’ Virgil called through the door. His voice was distinctly uneven.
Logan heard a faint sniffling as he pushed the door open and was unsurprised to see Virgil sitting cross-legged on the floor in his softest pyjamas. Minty, his Triceratops plush, was clutched tightly to his chest. As Logan had theorised, Virgil did not look as grown-up as he had had Patton believe.
Logan closed the door behind him gently and lowered himself to kneel on the carpet a few feet in front of Virgil. He thought it was best to leave some space between them so that Virgil did not feel threatened in any way.
‘Patton tells me you’re not regressed anymore,’ Logan said. His doubt must have been obvious in his tone because Virgil immediately bit his lip and looked down to his lap. ‘Is this true?’
‘Dunno,’ Virgil whispered into Minty’s green fur. His voice was minuscule and Logan sighed.
‘Is this because of your accident?’
Virgil’s eyes went wide and welled up, his lip wobbling dangerously. It was all too obvious that he was in no position to have an adult conversation.
‘I don’t think you are grown-up, are you?’ Logan tutted gently. ‘How old are you right now, Virgil?’
The anxious side’s face crumpled and he hid behind his toy with a whimper. Logan quickly moved to kneel beside him, knowing he needed physical comfort.
‘No one is upset with you, I promise,’ Logan said, keeping his tone soft and quiet so as not to overwhelm him. He placed a comforting hand on the side of Virgil’s head and the younger side immediately leaned into the touch. ‘I know you wouldn’t lie to your Papa on purpose. You were just a little confused earlier, weren’t you?’
Virgil nodded into his toy.
‘Can you please tell Mama how old you are?’ Logan asked in his most baby-friendly voice.
Virgil slowly dropped the soft toy, looking up at Logan hesitantly. Eventually, he held up two fingers.
‘Only two? That is quite young,’ Logan said. He smiled encouragingly at Virgil and was happy to see the worry fade away from his gaze. ‘Much too young to be on your own. Do you want to come to listen to a book with me, your Papa, and your big brother?’
Virgil nodded and was millimetres away from sucking on his thumb before Logan quickly intercepted it.
‘Let’s get a pacifier for the baby,’ Logan said.
He patted Virgil’s hand then reached for the soft toy by their legs. He located the zipper sewn into the dinosaur’s back and opened the hidden pocket that was filled with various pacifiers. He held it open in front of Virgil for him to pick, and after a few seconds of deliberation, Virgil pointed to one. Logan took it out and held it in front of him.
‘Can you tell Mama what colour this is, Vee?’ he asked.
When Virgil was regressed, Logan liked to test him on simple questions such as this for several reasons: Firstly, it helped to establish a fun, educational atmosphere that Logan thought would be beneficial to his mental wellbeing. Secondly, it helped Logan to gather a clear idea of Virgil’s mental age at the time going by his speech and knowledge of certain things, proving beneficial to Logan’s understanding of Virgil’s regression. Lastly, it encouraged Virgil to communicate with him, which Logan hoped would be beneficial to their relationship.
‘Boo,’ Virgil muttered with a tiny smile.
‘That’s right, blue.’ Logan smiled back at him, knowing from experience it was an exercise in futility to try to correct his pronunciation.
He popped the pacifier in Virgil’s mouth without any fuss, then placed Minty back on the floor gently.
‘Light blue is your Papa’s favourite colour,’ Logan said. ‘Shall we go and show it to him?’
Virgil nodded and held onto Logan’s hand preemptively. Logan slowly rose from the floor and helped Virgil to do the same. He started to lead the way to the door but was stopped by Virgil tugging back on his hand and whining a little. Logan turned back in concern.
‘Is there a problem?’ he asked, then saw how Virgil’s gaze was fixed on the pile of stuffed animals on his bed. ‘Oh, I see,’ Logan said and walked them over to the heap of soft toys. ‘Can you choose a friend to come and listen to a book with us, Virgil?’
Virgil reached for his black cat plush and held it to his face with a smile, stroking the fur against his cheek.
‘Glad you could join us, Jiji,’ Logan greeted the toy and smiled when Virgil gasped.
Logan never made it obvious that he knew every single one of Virgil and Roman’s toys’ names. It amused him when they were shocked to hear him remember them so he kept up the pretence just to enjoy their endearing sounds of surprise.
Logan led both Virgil and Jiji back to the living room with a light heart.
‘Look who’s back,’ Logan announced as they stepped into the room and saw Virgil blush at the attention, hiding his face against Logan’s arm.
‘Aw, yay!’ Patton smiled brightly. ‘I missed my baby.’
Virgil looked up at Patton then pointed wordlessly to his pacifier. Logan saw a flash of confusion briefly cross Patton’s features.
‘Yes, that’s you,’ Patton said, obviously trying to guess at what Virgil was indicating.
‘Virgil picked his pacifier all by himself,’ Logan supplied with a surreptitious eyebrow raise. ‘Do you like the colour?’
‘Oh, yes!’ Patton said, suddenly understanding what Virgil had wanted to show him. ‘That’s my favourite colour, baby. It’s so pretty!’
Logan felt Virgil fidget under the praise. He shared a fond, amused smile with Patton.
‘Vee, you gotta choose between the two bestest bears ever!’ Roman yelled, all but bouncing in his seat.
‘Yes…’ Logan said but frowned at the high energy in the boy. He had not been so excitable when Logan left, so the logical side grew suspicious of what had caused the change.
Sure enough, his eyes landed on the chocolate coated rim of the Mickey Mouse mug in Roman’s hands. He gasped and shot a reprimanding look over to Patton. The moral side sunk into the couch looking as guilty as ever.
‘Patton, this is the time to wind down, not the time to consume sugar!’
‘But I made some for all of us, Lo,’ Patton countered. He indicated the coffee table where Logan’s NASA mug, Patton’s frog mug, and Virgil’s Jack Skellington mug all sat steaming, filling the air with the rich scent of chocolate. ‘Plus hot cocoa is technically warm milk, so it’s perfect for nighttime.’
Logan felt his reserve breaking when he realised how considerate it was that Patton had made some for everyone, but he remained steely. That is until Patton added with a sly smile:
‘I added a shot of hazelnut syrup to your one.’
Logan pretended to think it over for a few seconds.
‘Alright, I yield.’ He led Virgil over to the couch, encouraging him to sit beside Patton. ‘But Roman really should not be given dairy.’
‘Almond milk,’ Patton corrected with a victorious smile, accepting Virgil into his arms.
‘And Virgil is too young to drink from a mug,’ Logan added.
‘No prob, Bob,’ Roman cut in. He snapped his fingers and the Jack Skellington mug promptly transformed into a baby bottle.
‘Thank you, little prince,’ Logan said. He made sure to pay Roman due attention, knowing how important it was for Roman’s headspace to show that Virgil was not the only one who needed taking care of. ‘Where would you like me to sit?’
Roman’s eyes widened, apparently delighted that he was given such an important decision.
‘Over there,’ Roman pointed to the corner of the couch furthest from Patton. ‘Then I’m gonna sit next to you and Vee!’
Virgil hummed in content from his place beside Patton and nuzzled his face against his papa’s chest.
‘A very good choice,’ Logan said.
Before sitting down he moved over to the coffee table. He handed Patton the baby bottle and moved the frog mug to the corner of the table so it was within Patton’s reach. He nodded when Patton thanked him and grabbed his own mug, moving back to the couch to settle in the corner seat. Roman had already made himself comfortable, his mug empty and abandoned on the floor.
‘What will it be, Virgil?’ Logan asked. ‘A marmalade-obsessed bear from Peru, or a honey-obsessed bear from England?’ He took a sip from his mug and struggled to contain a smile at the warmth that radiated through his chest.
‘Nunny,’ Virgil mumbled through his pacifier.
Patton made an inhuman squeal of affection.
‘Honey,’ Logan echoed, unable to hide his smile now. It was undeniably adorable how Virgil’s speech was impeded by his regression. ‘Are we all ready for Winnie-the-Pooh?’
At the two shouted confirmations from Patton and Roman, Logan pulled out his phone to set up the bluetooth speaker. Within moments Stephen Fry’s voice filled the room with tales from the Hundred Acre Wood.
Roman clumsily wriggled his head under Logan’s arm to force it around his shoulders. Logan sniffed in amusement but acquiesced.
‘Do you want to hold the bottle yourself or do you want me to help you, sweetie?’ Logan heard Patton whispering during the introduction.
He looked over just in time to see Virgil pull Jiji up to hide his face. Patton’s eyes lit up and he giggled quietly.
‘Don’t be shy, baby. Papa’s here to take care of you.’
Patton gently took the pacifier from Virgil’s mouth and placed it on the armrest. Then he pulled Virgil onto his lap and held the bottle up to his lips. It was almost hypnotic seeing how quickly Virgil relaxed into Patton’s embrace, suckling rhythmically at the bottle. His eyes had fallen shut within seconds and a look of pure contentment settled over him.
Roman laughed at a part in the story and Patton looked up at the cheerful sound. He caught Logan watching Virgil and they exchanged soft smiles before Logan looked away again. Roman’s head fell onto his shoulder and Logan closed his eyes in contentment. He leaned back against the headrest, letting the sounds of the room blend into one calming symphony; Virgil’s suckling, Patton’s cooing, Roman’s giggling, and the narration sending him into a blissful sleep.