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Really, Roman should not have known there was a blackout.
It was hours past bedtime, and he was supposed to be sound asleep. He should not have been huddled under his blanket at 2am reading The Princess Bride. He should not have noticed the moment his Disney lullabies coming from his speaker suddenly cut off. He should definitely not have been aware of how the projected stars from his nightlight quickly faded out. But regardless of what he should or should not have been doing a few moments ago, right now he was bouncing on his toes by his bedroom door, trying to work up the nerve to go out into the hallway.
The pitch-black hallway.
His phone torch lit up his corner of the room in a harsh white light, shaking slightly in his hand. It did not do much to dispel the feeling that something was going to pounce on him. Maybe from over there! He gasped and flipped the torch to point at a darkened corner, biting his lip when he only saw his painting easel.
What about behind him? He whimpered and jumped, spinning around quickly to watch out for any sign of monsters. It was only his dressing gown.
Roman groaned quietly under his breath though the heavy beating of his heart drowned out the noise. He wanted his Dad. He wanted to be held.
Even though Roman certainly could have been big at that moment… he really didn’t feel like it. He was scared and shaky and tired and alone and did something just move behind him?
He backed up against the wall, covering his vulnerable back. Then something truly awful happened. The torchlight went out.
Roman looked down at his phone in panic, seeing the power down screen flashing at him mockingly before going completely black.
‘No, no, no, no,’ he whimpered. He had forgotten to charge his phone!
He had no defence against the dark now. He really, really needed Dad.
‘Okay, come on, come on, come on,’ he whispered to himself. He reached for the door handle and squeezed it tightly. ‘I’m a big boy. I can do it.’
He twisted the knob with a squeak and tugged the door open.
His stomach twisted.
Roman’s room had several windows that allowed the light of the moon and stars to penetrate the darkness. Not the hallway, though. Looking out of the open doorway, Roman felt as if he was staring into a black hole.
Ice-cold dread washed over him, but there was no going back now. The door was open and if there were any monsters they would surely creep into his room before he closed it again. He needed Dad. He needed Mom.
‘I’m a big boy, I’m a big boy, I’m a big boy,’ Roman muttered under his breath as he stepped into the hallway, completely swallowed by darkness. It felt suffocating.
‘I’m a big boy, I’m a big boy!’ His whispers became more frantic and shaken as he moved further into the void, his knees trembling with each step. He wished he could run, but the hallway was adorned by several bookcases and a coffee table, not to mention the top of the staircase. It didn’t sound very clever to risk hurting himself. He just had to be brave and walk slowly.
After only a few steps, there was suddenly a metallic click and a shuffle. Before he had a chance to react, Roman bumped into something warm and soft. He jumped back against the hallway wall with a shriek.
His head spun so much that he felt like it would take off from his body and fly away. The panic clouding his thoughts almost distracted him from the quiet sniffles and whimpers coming from a few feet in front of him.
‘H-hello?’ Roman squeaked. Please don’t be a monster!
‘Wo-Wo?’
It was Virgil! Roman let out a massive, shaky sigh of relief and rushed forward. He found the soft warmth again and wrapped it in a tight hug. Trembling fingers clutched tightly at the back of his shirt.
Embracing his little brother, Roman felt his terror trickle into a softer fear. He felt vulnerable, but in less of a dangerous way. It only took a few seconds for tears to spring to his eyes. He ducked his head down to bury his face against the top of Virgil’s head. They clung to each other tightly for a moment, both sniffling.
As Roman readjusted his hold, there was a small creak of the floorboards beneath them and they both startled. Virgil’s hand flew out, presumably to hold Roman’s, though it being so dark he missed and his fingers only dug into his hip.
Roman felt a small surge of courage (though it was distant). He was terrified of the monsters, but he had his little brother to look after too now! He had to be brave and get them to their caregivers. Even if all he felt like doing right now was crumbling to the floor and crying.
‘I-it’s okay, Vee-Vee,’ Roman said shakily, reaching down to wrap his free hand around Virgil’s fingers. ‘Let’s get Dad.’
‘Papa?’
‘Yeah. We just -’ he had to pause to gulp around a lump in his throat, looking around and not seeing a single break in the blackness ‘- gotta go through here and find him.’
The fingers around Roman’s hand tightened. ‘Scawy.’
Blood pulsed loudly in his ears. ‘M-maybe a bit,’ Roman stammered. Admitting how scared he was to his baby brother would just make him seem weak. Princes had to be big and strong!
He tugged on Virgil’s hand and treaded carefully forwards, being slow and careful in case he was facing the wall or a bookcase. He grit his teeth as his first step found no obstacle and started slowly following that direction. Virgil stayed directly behind him, squeezing his hand so tight his knuckles ached. But it kind of made Roman feel better. It meant he wasn’t alone anymore, and that also meant he wasn’t the only one who was scared.
‘Nearly there,’ Roman whispered, trying to offer comfort to both Virgil and himself. In reality, they had barely moved a metre.
Virgil whined, trying to step past Roman and go faster.
Roman’s heart jumped and he pulled Virgil back quickly. ‘No, Vee! We need to be slow, we don’t wanna fall down or anything.’ Or get eaten by monsters!
Apparently not caring about that, Virgil whined again then pushed lightly at Roman’s back, making the older of the two stumble forward.
‘Vee!’ he yelped and planted his feet firmly on the ground. He stood frozen for a moment. The shaking of his body was uncontrollable now and hot tears finally fell to his cheeks.
That had been terrifying! What if he fell down the stairs or was pushed right into a monster’s mouth?! Now he understood why Virgil cried whenever he fell over.
‘D-don’t just…’ Roman choked, silencing when he could feel a sob working its way up his throat.
A muffled bang came from the other side of the wall and they both jumped. Roman felt a sudden downward pull on his hand before it was released, and he realised Virgil had dropped to the floor. He’d probably been startled into a younger headspace and could no longer stand on his own.
‘Wan Papa,’ Virgil whimpered, sobbing quietly.
Roman gave up trying to hide his own tears. He was scared and it was dark and Virgil wasn’t holding his hand anymore and it felt cold. Who cared if he was meant to be a big boy? He wanted to cry, he wanted his caregivers!
‘D-Dad, Mom!’ he cried loudly. He didn’t want to be brave anymore. He clenched his eyes shut to try to pretend that the darkness was only behind his eyes, not all around him. There was a weird melty feeling in his chest and Roman’s lip wobbled. He hugged his arms around himself. His breath shuddered.
‘Daddy, help!’ he wailed. ‘I want Mommy!’
Roman didn’t even care that he had used new names for his caregivers, he just needed them right now!
There was another metallic click, louder this time. Roman’s eyes flew open with a gasp. Having to squint past the blur of his tears, Roman was relieved that the area of carpet in front of them was now lit up with the bright beam of a flashlight.
He saw Virgil sitting on the floor by his feet, crying into his arms.
‘It’s okay, boys,’ Mom’s voice said very gently. ‘Mama’s here, everything’s all right.’
Roman barely had a chance to realise that Logan was walking towards them before another door opened further along the hallway.
‘Sweethearts, are you okay?!’ Dad yelled, panicked.
Roman’s head spun to see Patton jogging over to them in his dressing gown, holding his own torch.
As Patton dropped to the ground and pulled Virgil into his lap, relief overwhelmed Roman. But even though his fear was mostly gone, he still felt shaky and vulnerable. It was new and he didn’t know how to feel about it. His tears didn’t stop either.
‘Little Prince?’
Roman looked back over to Logan who was now standing right in front of him, looking worried.
‘You were so very brave.’ Mom held his arms out in invitation.
A sob ripped from Roman’s lips and he rushed into the hug. ‘Mommy, it was really scary!’
‘I know,’ Mom whispered and cradled Roman’s head in his hand. It felt safe. ‘But it’s over now, we’ve got you both.’
Listening out, Roman could hear Patton cooing at Virgil and shushing him as he whimpered, though Roman didn’t care to recognise the words. He only cared about Mom hugging him right now.
‘Why don’t we all go back to bed?’
Roman’s arms clasped tighter around Logan. ‘N-no, don’t go!’
‘Logan, I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ Patton whispered from the floor.
‘I meant we could all sleep in my bed tonight,’ Logan said calmly. He brushed his hand across Roman’s hair and it calmed the rushing thoughts in the age dreamer’s mind.
He really wanted to sleep with his caregivers, especially since he felt so weird. His body felt weak and he didn’t know why but for some reason he felt… small. Not little like usual, but small . Like he needed to be held and protected from all the big, scary things. He curled his fingers in Logan’s pyjama shirt, staying quiet. He couldn’t admit that, it made him sound like a scaredy-cat!
‘Oh, isn’t that a nice idea, baby?’ Patton asked in his baby-talk voice.
Roman turned his head on Logan’s shoulder and saw that Patton was rocking a still-crying Virgil in his lap.
Virgil squeaked and hid his face against Patton’s neck, but nodded lightly.
Emboldened by his little brother’s agreement, Roman pulled back from his mom. When their eyes met, Roman suddenly felt very aware of the tear stains at his cheeks and lowered his gaze to the floor. ‘Yes, please,’ he breathed.
‘I just need to change this little one,’ Patton announced quietly. ‘We’ll be back in a few minutes.’
Roman heard him stand up and shuffle Virgil back to the regressor’s room, the light from Patton’s torch going with them. He didn’t bother watching them go. His eyes were secured on the carpet. The dark corners in the hallway still haunted his thoughts, he didn’t think he’d be able to bear actually looking at them.
It didn’t take long for Logan to lead him into his bedroom, keeping his arm firm around Roman’s shoulders. It made walking a bit awkward, but Roman didn’t even think he’d be able to take a single step without his Mom guiding him; he was so shaken. Everything around him was hazy. Probably due to a mixture of his tears, his previous panic, and his lack of sleep.
Logan only released him when he pushed Roman down onto the mattress of his king-size bed. The feeling of vulnerability returned in full force and Roman whimpered quietly. Though at least it didn’t last long as within a few seconds Logan had climbed in beside him and pulled Roman to press against his side.
‘Would you like me to leave the flashlight on?’ Logan’s body rumbled slightly with his voice.
Roman sighed at the comforting feeling and rolled to push himself closer against his mom’s warm body. His head dropped to Logan’s shoulder and nodded against it. He was too tired for words.
A little clatter sounded as Logan placed the flashlight on his bedside table, pointing the beam of light against the wall. It reflected onto the room dimly and eased the remnants of fear that had been buzzing around Roman’s head.
‘There we are. That’s better isn’t it?’ Logan murmured. His arms wrapped around Roman. ‘You’re safe now.’
For the first time since his nightlight had gone out, Roman really believed that to be true. He hummed in agreement and nuzzled his nose slightly in Logan’s shirt.
Mom spoke softer than Roman had ever heard before, ‘Let’s get some sleep.’
Glad that he could finally rest, Roman allowed his heavy eyes to fall shut. He swore he was never going to ignore bedtime again.
‘Love you, Mommy,’ Roman mumbled into Logan’s shirt.
Something soft and light pressed against his forehead. A kiss. ‘Love you too, little prince.’
Roman was fast asleep before the other two had returned.