Chapter Text
"Sarawat! Tine! I need your help!"
A month has passed since Tine's 'Dress-Up' week and they were living their robotic lives peacefully after the whole fiasco - No One-Braincell Gang knocking on their door to disturb their evening reminding Tine to get dressed; no White Lion Gang making Sarawat feel more jealous and possessive unnecessarily; no Pear smiling at them while caking Tine's face with makeup; and no Earn to yell at him for being a horny, thirst crazed pervert who couldn't keep his dick in control whenever he was with his bunny.
Life was back on track, just like it had always been after Sarawat got the love of his life to agree into making a nest with him.
Sarawat shook his head at that thought, nose scrunched up.
'Maybe I should stop watching Nat Geo for a while...'
Anyway, their life was back the way it had always been. Until-
"What is it now, Earn?" He looked at the fellow guitarist standing on his doorstep with a frown.
Sarawat was exasperated.
Life was back on track. Until Earn came barging in his house to third-wheel his carefully planned quality time with Tine.
Yes. Carefully planned.
Sarawat had just got off from his classes. It was still quite early and he had no football practice for today. While he was free all evening, Tine had Cheerleading practice as the Inter-Faculty Tournament was a mere three weeks away.
Sarawat felt sorry for Tine. The captain of Poli. Sci. team had been kind enough to let them rest a bit seeing how hard they practiced. Tine, on the other hand, had involuntarily become the cheerleading team captain for the Law faculty due to P'Fang having to deal with the plaster around her leg, an unfortunate result of landing incorrectly after doing a few handsprings.
Tine would often come home tired, more than before, and go straight to his study desk to get done with his work and cases and then, as if he wasn't exhausted enough already, do some postures that he would try and hold up for as long as half an hour. Just seeing Tine contort himself in difficult looking cheerleading postures for a long periods of time, Sarawat felt pain bubbling in his own arms and legs. Tine was flexible and him? Meh... Not so much. He could feel the stiffness of his muscles through his eyes everytime Tine stretched.
Tine was diligent in his work to a fault and a perfectionist. Sarawat didn't really like that.
He felt like he had to talk to Tine, tell him to take a little break and relax for a moment.
And this was the exact reason why Sarawat had a 'carefully planned' evening in his mind. He even made sure that none of their friends would disturb the evening by waltzing in on their little moment. He texted all of them - Man and Boss, and Fong, and Ohm, and Phuak, and Earn (he did not text Pear. He had faith in her. He was sure Pear had a reliable brain. Also, he couldn't even in his sleep send her a text filled with nothing but swear words. She didn't deserve that kind of treatment from Sarawat - so very much unlike the list of names fore mentioned.) - that Tine and him will be unavailable for any kind of interactions and not to disturb their evening today as he wanted to spend some time with his boyfriend, alone.
And yet this happened.
"I need your help. Where is Tine?"
Sarawat let out a long, heavy sigh.
"He's on his way. He had Cheerleading practice. But why are you here?" Sarawat inquired. He was really curious as to why was Earn pestering him even after he'd sent out a warning to all weirdos in their squad.
"I was thinking of who I should ask for help and right at that moment your text came! Amazing, right? It's like you're the help God had sent me right from the heaven!"
"And you're the annoyance personally cursed upon me by Lucifer himself from the deepest burning pits of hell..." It was difficult to keep the bite off his words but Sarawat barely managed.
Sarawat really regretted sending that text because Earn apparently had given the management and control of her one and only active braincell to Pear.
Love really did weird things to people. It made people stupid and blind.
'You're a fucking hypocrite.' His brain supplied.
'Of course, I am.' Sarawat nodded, not even a bit ashamed.
Sarawat remembers that he was even more pathetic than Earn is right now when he was chasing after Tine.
He scoffed once.
He felt guilty for judging Earn. Like, maybe a drop?
'You're so fucking shameless...' His conscious mocked.
'I agree 100% with that...' he scoffed in amusement.
"I would do whatever you want if you help me out!" Earn's voice brought him back from the bickering he was doing with his brain.
He covered his face with his hands.
Although it is downright irritating to him, he was willing to have a talk with her. This was the first time Earn had asked for his help, so it must be something big. She isn't the type to pester people and handles her own problems like a champ. But right now, she was almost begging him. She looked quite desperate, too.
Sarawat lifted his head up from his hands to look at her but was surprised to find no one in front of him.
"Sarawat, please..."
His gaze went down in the direction of the soft voice to see Earn sadly slumped on the floor, eyes wide and glistening, staring at him with a large pout.
Sarawat staggered back, a bit shocked from the action before kneeling on the floor beside Earn. He gently took a hold of her arm, pulling her up to stand.
"Let's talk inside, yeah?"
Once Earn was seated on one of the chairs of their dining table, Sarawat quickly went to the kitchen counter to fetch her a glass of water, mind still a bit boggled from Earn's desperate eyes.
Keeping the tall glass in front of her, Sarawat raised his brow.
"Shoot."
Earn avoided his gaze for a while before she hastily picked up the glass of water and gulped the whole thing down in one go.
Sarawat's eyes went wide.
"Slow down. It's water. It's not beer, don't chug it."
Sarawat's playful comment did nothing to lighten Earn's gloomy mood. She didn't even glare at him and Sarawat was suddenly concerned.
"Earn?"
He softly called and she raised her head to look at him with deep eyes.
"I really need your help. Promise me you'll help..." Earn raised her hand, pinkie held out for Sarawat.
Sarawat stared at her finger, perplexed.
"How about you tell me what it is and then-"
"No! You'll back out! I know it, I just know you well! Promise me first" Earn seemed adamant on getting Sarawat to swear to her.
Sarawat sighed. How bad could it be anyways, right?
He raised his hand to lock his own pinkie with Earn's for a brief moment before jerking his hand back, eyes narrowed in minimal interest.
Earn seemed satisfied with that. Sarawat was extremely stingy and selfish in matters that didn't concern him or Tine, so Earn was going to take whatever she could get.
She leaned over the small table to come closer to him, eyes glaring in seriousness.
"I need a boyfriend."
Sarawat blinked.
"But... Aren't you with... Pear?" He asked, surprised.
"Yes, I am. But I need a boy for this-"
It came as a surprise to Earn when Sarawat suddenly grasped both her hands in his firmly, a somewhat awkward but very concerned look on his face.
"Look, Earn. Even though I'm not great at giving advice, I'm telling this to you out of experience - just talk it out. Every relationship has problems, it's not something that big of a deal, it's people who turn it into one. You should always communicate, yeah? I don't know what problems you and Pear are having, but please talk it out, alright? Pear is a good person, so are you! I know you lot will sort it out by yourselves." With a somewhat empathetic look, tight lipped smile and a firm pat on the back of her hand, Sarawat pulled away from her.
Earn raised her brows at that.
"I... Know about that? And for your info, Pear and me are rocking it out, okay? We're going as smooth as an infant's buttcheeks."
Sarawat's brows scrunched in confusion.
"Then? Why do you need a boyfriend? Are you pol-"
"No, Sarawat. Let me make a correction : I need a 'fake' boyfriend..." Earn's words were as clear as a crystal, ringing in his ears.
Earn looked at Sarawat, half expecting for him to demand an explanation and it seems like that was exactly what Sarawat wanted. He jutted his chin once at Earn, indicating for her to continue.
Earn scratched behind her ear once before looking straight at him, eyes miserable.
"My ex came back."
Even though Earn had mumbled it, Sarawat heard it, the frown on his face deepening.
"That one? That king of all the assholes in the world?"
"Uh-huh..."
Earn's confirmation was the only thing Sarawat needed to remember all the things she told him about this above mentioned fucktard.
'He was such a fucking jerk! This guy blatantly walked around with all sorts of marks over him and when I asked if he was cheating, straight out denied and accused me of always being suspicious! He yelled at me for not trusting him! How could I trust a guy who's walking around his own girlfriend with lipstick marks on his neck and shirt that obviously does not belong to her! And if that wasn't enough, this motherfucker had two red lipstick marks on him! Of different colors! Just thinking about him makes me want to throw up, jeez...'
'Earn... Isn't red the same color though?'
'Holy fuck, Sarawat! Are you an idiot or what?! Don't you know that no two reds under the sky are same?! Jeez...'
Sarawat nodded once. He had been the one to offer a shoulder to her when she broke up with that jerk, thinking that she would need to cry - even though he had no experience of handling an emotional female first-hand, that was what girls usually did, right?
But, no. He forgot that Earn wasn't your typical girl.
The first thing she did coming back after the break-up was to drag Sarawat to the nearest gym where a seething-in-anger Earn had managed to do some pretty heavy damage to a punchbag double her size (Earn angrily payed the compensation money to a spooked worker while Sarawat was busy dusting his shoe off the sand that currently flooded around them, the torn punchbag lying at his feet mocking him. It was almost like a warning to him - God forsake it, if Sarawat ever got on her bad side, it could very possibly be him lying down all torn and tattered instead of the punching bag).
"Let me get it right - you need someone to play your fake boyfriend so that you can get that ex off your back, huh? Sounds simple enough?" Sarawat's expression turned into one of consideration. "But who's gonna play the 'fake boyfriend', though?"
It was almost comical how Tine entered in on that exact moment while Earn and Sarawat were busy raking their minds for some names.
"Oh! Earn, you are here?" Tine greeted in his usual sweet and gentle manner.
The guitarist duo turned around to see Tine walking towards them with his usual serene demeanor.
He sat down beside Sarawat, eyes wide in curiosity.
"What are you talking about? Are Club activities becoming unbearable? Too much practice?"
It was cute how Tine always asked about their usual concerns. He would always try his best to cheer Sarawat up after the latter whined about club activities or football practice or anything else that disturbed him.
"No, not this time. Earn's having a hard time..." Sarawat explained and Tine's eyes immediately turned to Earn, concern dripping out of them.
"Is everything alright? Earn, you know you can always tell us, right?"
Earn smiled wholeheartedly at Tine. She might be biased but out of both of them, even though she was technically closer to Sarawat, Tine was definitely her favourite one.
She sighed heavily before turning to Tine.
"I actually came to ask for help. My ex came back from Phuket. I want to get rid of him because right now, I'm not even kidding when I say that the happiest I've ever been with someone besides my family is Pear."
Tine smiled one of his proud parent smile before patting Earn's shoulder, who beamed back at him.
Sarawat shook his head.
"So I need a fake boyfriend who can go meet the fucker to get the message across that I'm not coming back."
Tine smile turned into a smirk.
"She needs a fake boyfriend to make the guy give up?" He asked Sarawat, a teasing look on his face.
Sarawat nodded, not getting the meaning of Tine's expression.
"Hmm. Sounds familiar..."
Sarawat snorted.
He finally understood the weird feeling he had since the idea popped up, the meaning of Tine's smirk affirming it.
Earn burst out laughing, having clear knowledge of the situation.
"I think- I think it's safe to assume it's a fool-proof plan..." Earn huffed between laughter.
Tine and Sarawat shared matching smiles.
"It did work..." Tine mumbled, cheeks dusted with pink, a small pout on his face and Sarawat would've kissed him silly if Earn wasn't there to poke fun at them.
"But, do you know someone who'd help play the part?" Tine asked and Earn shook her head.
"That's why I came here! I thought about it but there wasn't anyone who'd be suitable." Earn laid her head down on the table, disappointed.
"Fong, Ohm and Phuak are already striked off the list so not them. Man and Boss were never on the list to begin with. Asking them help would be lamentable. P'Dim would most probably start cursing at the jerk and we've gotta avoid any fight at all cost."
"P'Dim would also most probably ask for money, that slimey guy..." Earn groaned and Sarawat huffed in agreement.
"So, who's it gonna be, then?"
Tine thought for a while before he opened his mouth, shocking them both.
"How about Sarawat?"