Chapter Text
When Kaz is four, everything is simple. He goes to preschool, he pretends to learn something, and then he goes home.
That’s when he meets Oliver.
Kaz isn’t exactly picky about who he plays with since he’s just excited to be around kids his own age after being surrounded by his older siblings all day everyday, but Oliver seems nice enough.
He doesn’t like messes and always cleans up the toys after they’re done playing with them.
Kaz lays his mat next to Oliver during nap time and pretends to sleep while the teachers are watching, but he always ended up falling asleep anyway.
-
When Kaz is six, he meets Stefanie. She moved here in the middle of the school year. She’s blonde and wears sparkly dresses to class everyday. She also has a pink Power Ranger backpack that he thinks that is the coolest thing ever.
He’s telling his mom about how Stefanie got a new lunch box with the yellow Power Ranger on it when she asks him if he has a crush on Stephanie.
Kaz doesn’t really know. If thinking Stefanie is cool means he has a crush on her, then he guesses he has a crush on her.
The next day at school, Kaz tells Oliver and he tells him girls have cooties. Kaz doesn’t know what those are, but he nods like he does.
-
When Kaz is eight, he figures out that he can’t read as well as the other kids. The letters just get jumbled on the page and he just can’t understand what it means.
Even if Kaz can’t be smart like Oliver, he are still pretty good at making people, especially Oliver, laugh. He might as well try to be funny to make up for his lack of reading comprehension.
The teachers just dismiss him as “disruptive” and inform his parents about his behavior, but they don’t really care. His parents haven’t really cared since Kyle was born. Now, Kaz is just another middle child.
At least the attention of his peers gives him some semblance of the attention he yearns for at home.
Besides, hearing Olivier laugh is worth it. It makes Kaz happy when Oliver’s happy.
-
When Kaz is ten, he learns that family doesn’t last forever.
His older sister, Kara, is packing a duffle bag. He’s watching her dart around the room, picking up various belongings.
“Where are you going?” Kaz asks from the doorway to her room.
She doesn’t spare him a glance as she stuffs another shirt into her bag, “Away.”
That didn’t really answer his question, so he tries again, “Why?”
“Ask mom,” Kara sneers before looking up and seeing his hurt expression. She calms down a bit, “I’m sorry, but I can’t stay here any longer. Mom and dad made that very clear.”
“What did you do?” he asks quietly. Kaz has no idea what could be so bad that his parents would kick their fifteen-year-old daughter out of their house.
She gives a humorless laugh, “I didn’t do anything. It’s what I am.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“It will.” She says cryptically as she zips up the bag and makes her way to the doorway, “For your sake, I hope you never grow up to be like me, but, if you do, don’t let them know,” she pauses and lays a hand on his shoulder, “Take care of yourself, Kaz.”
That still doesn’t make any sense, but he nods anyways.
She nods back and moves past him to leave the room. There’s a sense of finality attached to her words and Kaz feels like he won’t see her again.
The next day, he asks his mom why Kara left and she firmly tells him that he’s never to speak his sister’s name again. According to his mother, Kara isn’t part of their family anymore, because she’s a “deviant”.
Kaz can’t comprehend how Kara, his kind and compassionate older sister, could possibly be bad, but he knows better than to challenge the logic of his mother.
-
When Kaz is twelve, he’s able to understand what his sister was trying to tell him.
He just started middle school and that’s when he sees some 8th graders shove Oliver into his locker.
“Hey!” Kaz marches right up to them, “What gives you the right to pick on my friend!?”
From an outsider’s perspective, he’s sure it’s a funny view. He’s a puny 6th grader trying to stand up to two 8th graders that are on the football team. He never had a chance.
They laugh in his face.
Asshole Number 1, as Kaz has dubbed him in his head, nudges his friend, “Looks like the nerd’s boyfriend has come to save the day.”
Asshole Number 2 smirks and Kaz can feel his confidence draining, “You want to join your boyfriend in the lockers, huh, loverboy?”
He don’t have the opportunity to defend himself before they’ve shoved him in the locker next to Oliver.
“Hey, assholes!” Kaz hears a girls voice call out from down the hallway and then pained grunting.
After a few moments, he hears sneakers running in the opposite direction and the lockers open.
Standing before him is a blonde girl that’s slightly taller than him with a black beanie. She offers Kaz her hand, “You alright?”
He’s apprehensive, but takes it, “Yeah, thanks to you.”
She shrugs as she pulls him out of the locker, “Don’t mention it. I just hate assholes.”
That startles a laugh out of him, “That’s something we got in common.”
Moving to help Oliver out of the locker, he asks, “How did you get the lockers open? Weren’t they locked?”
“Oh they were,” she says, but doesn’t elaborate, “I’m Jordan by the way.”
“I’m Kaz and this,” he yanks Oliver out of the locker, “Is Oliver.”
Oliver waves, “Hi, thanks for saving us,” he moves away from Kaz’s side.
Jordan rolls her eyes, “Whatever. Just know that I now have a favor from each of you that I will cash in on it whenever the time comes. Got it?”
Kaz looks at Oliver and then back at Jordan, “Got it.”
She nods and walks away without another word.
Oliver awkwardly turns to Kaz, “That was… eventful.”
“Yeah,” Kaz doesn’t really know what else to say.
“Kaz…” He starts hesitantly, “Maybe you shouldn’t try to defend me again. I don’t want people getting the wrong idea about us. It’ll hurt your chances with Stefanie.”
Right. Stefanie. The girl Kaz is supposed to have a crush on. She’s pretty and blonde and popular. She’s dating some 8th grader right now, so it’s not like he ever stood a chance.
Still, there’s a part of him that wants people to get the wrong idea about him and Oliver’s relationship. Brief fantasies flash through his head. Images of holding Oliver’s hand and wrapping an arm around his shoulders like the other couples in school.
His sister’s warning runs through his head.
Maybe if he pretends long enough, he’ll convince himself that he really does like Stefanie.
Maybe he’ll convince himself that he’s normal.