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I can't do it.
……
He stares across at the boy at the end of his sword, a child he's 15 years old-
He sees the look on his face, the tears, and he just can't fucking do it.
He'd been ready, he thought, had prepared for this. He'd rationalized it as being fine because Binghe was a book character, as long as he followed the script, it didn't matter what he did, right? But it was different, standing in front of him like this, looking down at the person he had spent years raising.
Somewhere in that time he'd gotten attached to this ridiculous child who cleaned and cooked and looked up to him.
A child, and he was going to-
The realization staggers him, and he feels the faintest prickle of tears before he aggressively stomps them down. It's not the time.
He lowers his sword.
"...Shizun?" His boy asks, looking like he wants to reach for him, and Shen Yuan shakes his head. He goes still.
He spends half a second organizing his thoughts, then takes a deep breath, making his decision. He can only pray that he wont regret this.
He meets Binghe's eyes for the first time since the start of the confrontation, grimly serious.
"Binghe," he says softly, seriously, "this master can no longer protect you."
He blinks hard and against his wishes he feels a tear start to trickle its way down his face.
Binghe looks horrified, reaching out as if to wipe his face and hesitates.
Shen Yuan reaches out and grabs the wrist firmly with his free hand. He thinks of the sword laying broken nearby, and of the one waiting for him in the abyss.
"There are greater forces at play here," he announces as generally as he can manage. To his relief, the system stays quiet, seemingly ready to let this play out. Waiting for him to make a mistake.
"This master cannot protect you-" he repeats, more firmly. "-so this disciple must become strong enough to do it himself."
He pulls the arm forward, wrapping Binghe's hand around the hilt of Xiu Ya.
Binghe gasps like he's been shocked and reflexively clutches at it, and Shen Yuan can't help it, he yanks him into a quick hug, squeezing him tightly.
He stands, frozen, arms and sword pinned between them, too shocked to move. His hands shake where they are pressed against him.
A distant part of him remembers that this much contact is probably inappropriate in this time frame, but he really can't make himself care.
Shen Yuan puts his mouth right next to his ear and gives one final order, putting as much authority into it as he can summon when he's wrapped around him like a particularly clingy child.
"Find the Xin Mo sword," he commands, "and live."
Then, while he's still off balance, he pulls back and uses one hand to push Binghe into the abyss.
He falls, eyes wide still clutching at the sword. He doesn't scream, even to curse at him.
He hears the system go off and dismisses it without looking, knowing he can check it later. For now though-
He thinks back to what he remembers of the original Binghe's time in the abyss.
For plot reasons, by the end of his first month the constant attacks and rain of acid would make his clothes all but rot off him, leaving him perpetually bare chested and bloody. Lots of gorgeous fan art of course, but the cold was no good for growing boys.
Without hesitation, he slips out of his outer robe. The sturdy green silk is imbued with spells for repair and cleaning and he drops it in before the rift can close. It will hopefully serve Binghe better than nothing, and he has several more just like it.
Heart much lighter for at least trying, he gathers up the shards of Zheng Yang, putting them carefully into his qiankun pouch.
There is work to do before Binghe returns. And if Shen Yuan is to die for the original goods' sins, then he will do so- not happily, but with his chin up and back straight. It's the least he can do both for Binghe and for the pride of the man who once owned this body.
He turns away, and the rift closes behind him.
…
[Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations!]
[User has earned 3000 coolness points! Luo Binghe has earned the title "Shizun has noticed me!" And the items "Xiu Ya sword" and "Master's Robe"! New paths "Mystery of Xin Mo" and "???" have opened. Congratulations to Luo Binghe for triggering Shen Yuan's romance flag! Training montage begins!]
"...what the fuck?"