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Curt had never been very good at keeping secrets from Owen.
Then again, Curt never wanted to keep secrets from Owen. Why would he? There was never any reason to.
Now, though- now Curt had to grapple with the fact that he had four years on Owen. Four years he’d lived without his partner, four years he’d drunk himself into nothingness, four years that had culminated in Owen killing him in cold blood in a quest for revenge- and, thankfully, handing Curt a way to fix everything.
The problem was, how the fuck did Curt tell Owen that without sounding like he’d gone mad?
Apparently, the answer was “by getting piss-drunk and confessing it through your tears”. Great going, Mega.
“Curt, love, are you okay?” Owen asked, concern etched on his face as Curt downed what had to be at least his sixth drink that night.
The words spilled out of Curt’s mouth without his consent. “I killed you.”
Owen looked at him, startled, and Curt just kept on babbling. “I decided to blow up the facility instead of just sending the blueprints right to Barb, and I ate a banana and I threw the peel on the ground, and I set the charges to three minutes and didn’t tell you, and you slipped on the banana peel and you fell and you died and I just left you-”
“Curt, love, look at me.” Owen’s voice was quiet, kind, loving. Everything Curt didn’t deserve.
Curt hadn’t realized he’d been sobbing until Owen was wiping away his tears. When he was done, Owen took Curt’s hand in his, intertwined their fingers, and gently took Curt’s hand and rested it on his chest. “Can you feel that, Curt?”
Curt took a few desperate gulps of air and nodded, grounding himself in his surroundings. He closed his eyes and just felt Owen’s chest, the way it rose gently as he took in each breath, the way his heart beat softly underneath his shirt.
“I’m alive, Curt. I’m here.” Owen spoke softly, reassuringly. “Whatever you think happened, it was just a bad dream. It wasn’t real.” He rubbed his thumb over the back of Curt’s hand soothingly.
Curt looked at Owen and gripped his hand desperately, as if he would disappear if Curt let go. “It felt real. It felt terrible.”
Owen brought Curt’s hand to his lips and kissed it softly. “Everything’s okay, love. I promise.”
Curt just closed his eyes and relished his partner’s touch. He could tell him the whole story when he was sober.