Archive of Our Own

Soft, familiar hands landed gently on Juliana’s shoulders and coaxed her to look up from the drawing she had been working on for the past few hours. Tilting her head back, Juliana was met with the sight of her smiling wife and felt her own lips pull into a smile in return. 

“Hey, mi amor.” Juliana said softly, leaning her head back against Valentina’s stomach. Valentina ran her fingers through Juliana’s slightly curled hair before ducking over her to place a short kiss against her lips. Juliana hummed softly. 

“Hey, chiquita.” Valentina said after straightening back up. Her gaze floated from Juliana to the half-finished sketch on the desk and back again. “Are you at a good stopping point? We need to leave if we want to get good parking for the game.” 

Juliana nodded without looking back at the drawing as she closed her notebook. “Of course, just let me change.” 

Valentina nodded and followed her wife out of their home office, located near the back of the first floor of their two-story home. Feeling Val behind her, Juliana held out her hand and Valentina’s fingers laced through her own. Together they walked past the den, pausing to tell their two youngest kids to get their shoes on and turn the television off, and the dining room before heading upstairs. Their bedroom is at the end of the hall, past the four bedrooms for their kids, upstairs gameroom, and two bathrooms that the kids shared. When they first moved in, Juliana thought they would never have enough things to fill all the space in the house but she feels as if it’s almost bursting at the seams with the plethora of items they’d accumulated over the years. 

“Who are we playing again?” Juliana asked as she let go of Val’s hand and stepped into their closet to change clothes, trading her blouse and slacks for a pair of jeans and a red t-shirt with their kid’s school name and mascot emblazoned on it. Valentina rattled off the name of the school they were up against this week while Juliana searched for her red converse. 

“If we win, Leo says we’ll be in the perfect spot to win the championship.” Valentina raised her voice slightly so Juliana could still hear her as she sat on their bed. Footsteps echoed down the hall, a giggling little girl asking her older brother to help her with her shoes. Valentina felt a smile stretch across her lips and for a second she can’t help but marvel at the life she leads now. She made it, through all the hell Vacio had but her through, through the demons her own mind had created to keep her trapped there. She won, and she lived. She had everything she had wanted as a child, a successful career as both a journalist and a model, four incredible children and the most amazing partner to share it all with. It almost felt like she didn’t deserve her life, not when she thought about the horrible things she had done to survive those many years ago. 

Juliana made her way back to the bedroom proper and noticed the far off look in Valentina’s eyes, her unfocused gaze turned towards the bedroom door. Juliana frowned slightly, knowing where Valentina’s mind had gone. It wasn’t often that Valentina had these red moments, times where she felt unworthy of her life, but when she did the aftereffects lingered. It wasn’t in any way that anyone other than Juliana would notice, her smile just the slightest bit forced, the blue of her eyes a fraction of a shade darker. Sometimes it was easy for Val to bounce back, others it took her a little while to feel okay again. Keeping an ear out for the kids, Juliana crouched in front of Valentina, resting her hands on Val’s thighs and rubbing her thumb in a soft circle. She hoped the motion would help bring Val back to the present, it was always better for Valentina to come back to herself on her own than for Juliana to try and pull her back herself. A few seconds passed and Valentina blinked slowly, looking at her kneeling wife with a soft gaze. 

“Blue?” Juliana asked softly. Valentina nodded her head, leaning in at the same time that she reached for Juliana, cupping her face gently and resting their foreheads together. 

“Yeah, blue.” Valentina whispered. Juliana nodded, tilting her head up to kiss Valentina’s forehead gently before settling back into their original position. They rested like that, just taking in the feel of the other being so close until, 

“Diego! Moms are being gross again.” A tiny voice yelled from the doorway. Valentina opened her eyes and pulled away from Juliana to look at their youngest daughter. Isabella stood in the doorway, with one hand on her hip and the other holding a massive black and red bow ready to be placed on her head to cover the elastic band holding her off-center ponytail in place. Hurried footsteps came from the hall and soon Diego was almost knocking his four-year-old sister down in his haste. 

“Moms, stop being gross! We’re going to miss the game.” Diego said with all the passion of a seven year old football fan, overly eager to see his older brother play the game they both adored. 

“We’re not going to miss the game.” Juliana said as she stood up, holding her hand out to Isabella for her bow. Bella smiled at her mothers and hurried to stand with them so her Mama could put the bow in place. “And no running in the house.” 

“Sorry, Mama,” Diego apologized, looking at least partially sincere. Valentina hid a smile by directing it at Isabella. “But this is football. Football!” Diego pointed to the black and white ball on his own red shirt for emphasis. 

“Okay, okay, we’re coming.” Valentina rose from the bed, moving over to her son and turning him around by the shoulders. “Don’t worry little man, you know we’d never miss your brother’s game.” 

“I know,” Diego smiled up at his Mommy. “But I don’t want to be late.” 

“We won’t be,” Valentina winked at him, “as long as Mama and Bella hurry up.” 

“I heard that,” Juliana called from where she was walking a few paces behind her wife and son. Valentina chuckled and threw a wink over her shoulder. Juliana waited until the four of them were all headed out the door before calling out that the last person to the car was a rotten egg. Diego and Isabella wasted no time in bolting out the door to the big suburban they drove when they had all four kids with them, as they would on the way home. 

“Guess that makes us rotten eggs,” Valentina teased, wrapping her arms around Juliana’s waist. Juliana hummed slightly, leaning in for a kiss. She lingered in Valentina’s space for a moment, breathing her in, before smirking. 

“Nope, you’re the only rotten egg here.” Juliana didn’t wait for a response and followed their kids out the door to the sound of Valentina’s incredulous laugh. “Mommy’s a rotten egg.” Juliana told the two kids, watching as Valentina closed and locked the door before coming to the car and climbing in on the driver’s side. 

“MOMMY’S A ROTTEN EGG!” Diego and Isabella chorused as soon as Valentina opened the door. Valentina narrowed her eyes at her wife, who only smirked back at her, before laughing and putting the car in reverse. She could admit that Juliana had gotten her, that time, but Val would get her back sooner or later. Soon the kids were busy singing along to the radio and Valentina drove with one hand, the other resting on Juliana’s leg. 

The path they drove to the school was familiar and easy to navigate, and they luckily arrived early enough that they wouldn’t need to park too far from the field. Knowing her daughter would run off the second they neared the field if one of them didn’t have a good hold on her, Juliana scooped Isabella up and settled her on her hip. Diego was just as rowdy but happily climbed up Valentina and settled in for his piggyback ride. 

“Maria should already be here, shouldn’t she?” Juliana asked as the family approached the ticket booth. Balancing Isabella with one arm, Juliana fished their passes out of her pocket and showed them to the ticket taker. 

“She said she would be,” Valentina replied easily. Maria, at fourteen, was just as independent and headstrong as both of her mothers and had insisted she would be able to walk from the track to the football field on her own after her own training session. So far, they’d let Maria make the walk on her own for the home games and Maria had only been late once, which had been more because of having to wait for the coach to officially dismiss her after practice. 

“I see her Mami,” Diego said, pointing over Valentina’s shoulder at his older sister. “She’s talking to a boy.” 

“Oh,” Juliana followed her son’s line of sight to find her eldest daughter leaning against the fence surrounding the field, her light hair pulled into a ponytail from her run and a boy who looked to be the same age as her standing with her. They were both smiling widely, Juliana could see the way her daughter twisted her hands together nervously. “Do we know him?” 

“I don’t think so,” Valentina answered with a slight shrug. “He must be that new student we heard about.” 

Juliana hummed softly, keeping her eyes on her daughter. Valentina chuckled slightly, Juliana had proved herself to be the more protective parent when it came to their children dating and though Valentina herself had to stamp out the urge to stalk over to their daughter and demand she tell them everything about the boy she was with, Valentina was also better at controlling her facial expression and body language than Juliana was. Some things she just couldn’t shake from the time she spent away. 

“Easy, mama bear.” Valentina kneeled down to let Diego off her back and instructed him to get his older sister before standing up and placing her hand on the center of Juliana’s back. “She’ll tell us about him when there’s something to tell.” 

“Why do you always have to be the voice of reason?” Juliana asked rhetorically. Valentina smiled and went to answer but cut herself off when Maria and Diego walked back up to them. 

“Hey, mija, how was practice?” Valentina asked. Maria, in an act of teenage rebellion and the ever present desire to not look like a loser, didn’t hug either of her mother’s but did smile warmly at them. 

“Long, and hot,” Maria answered, “but good. Coach said I’ve improved a lot this season.” 

“That’s great,” Valentina cheered. Someone shuffled behind Valentina in an attempt to get past her, the man muttering a polite ‘excuse me’ when his arm accidentally brushed against Valentina’s. Valentina felt herself tense suddenly, forcing herself to relax just as quickly. “We should find our seats,” 

The kids nodded and Juliana set Isabella down so she could walk with her sister to their seats in the middle of the stands. Maria smiled down at her little sister and took her hand, then offered her other hand to Diego. They didn’t notice the slight change in Valentina’s voice as she told them to go to their seats but Juliana did. 

“Hey,” Juliana called softly, slipping her now free hand into Valentina’s and squeezing softly. Valentina looked over at her but didn’t let them linger there for too long. 

“I’m okay,” she said, guiding her wife to their seats. “I promise. I just went red for a second.” 

“Okay,” Juliana nodded, knowing that now was not the time or place to question Valentina’s state of mind. They would talk about it later, they always did. “Eva and Lucia coming?” 

‘Guille and Renata, too,” Valentina nodded. “You know Eva would never forgive Guille if he missed a game where Leo and Mattais are starting.” 

“Of course,” Juliana chuckled softly. Her sister in law had remained the same strong-willed woman she had been when they met so long ago, but being with Lucia had softened her around the edges a bit. At least enough that Eva had actually laughed when Guille, Lucia and Juliana had gotten matching t-shirts that read ‘Eva tolerates me’ and had gotten Eva one that simply read ‘I’m Eva.’ (Juliana and Valentina had the picture of the four of them framed and hanging on the hallway wall, Eva kept her copy in the den of the Carvajal Mansion where she still lived with Lucia and their family.) 

“Look, there they are,” Valentina said, gesturing to where her brother and sister were walking in with their respective wives. Guille had little Santi on his shoulders and the twins, Alexis and Alejandra, trailing along behind him with Lucia and Eva’s second son Lucas. 

The cousins greeted each other like they hadn’t seen one another in weeks, despite having spent the previous Saturday together at their semi-weekly family brunch. Maria even allowed her aunts and uncle to hug her, apparently it was cool to hug them but not her moms. The kids settled in the row in front of the adults, chattering excitedly about the upcoming game. Eva, after hugging her sister and sister-in-law in greeting, took a seat on Juliana’s left with Lucia. That left Guille and Renata the right side which they happily claimed, Guille throwing his arm around Valentina’s shoulder like he did when they were kids. Valentina’s attention was drawn to her older brother but she made sure she could still feel close to Juliana and kept one hand resting against her wife’s thigh. 

The game began and the whole family cheered as the oldest of the next generation of Carvajal’s ran onto the field together. Leo and Mattais looked to be the epitome of serious young football players, sharing handshakes and nods with the opposing team wearing expressions that said ‘good luck’ and ‘we will destroy you’ in equal measure. The noise and excitement of the game kept the attention off of Val, who Juliana kept a close eye on as the game progressed. There didn’t seem to be anything noticeably upsetting her, but Juliana could tell that Val was holding herself just a little bit differently than normal. As the game progressed, Juliana drifted closer and closer to her wife until she was practically sitting in Valentina’s lap. The adults around them noticed but only Eva could tell that it was more than Val and Juls just wanting to be close to one another. Eva had become fairly adept at reading her sister’s body language, as had Lucia, since they were the ones Val would call if she didn’t want to upset Juliana. 

“Val,” Eva called softly after the game ended as the family made their way down to the field to congratulate the two oldest boys on their victory. Valentina turned to look at her sister as they walked. 

“What’s up, Eva?” 

“Is everything okay?” Eva asked. “You seem...tense.” 

Valentina sighed slightly before nodding her head. “I’m okay. Just had a few red moments today. More than usual.” 

Eva frowned slightly. While it wasn’t uncommon for Valentina to suddenly feel red for a few moments, Eva had never seen that happen often enough in one day for it to affect Val so strongly. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Not right now,” Valentina shook her head, glancing over at her wife for a second. “Juls knows about them, we’ll talk after the kids go to bed.” 

“Okay.” Eva pulled her sister into a side hug, trusting her judgement and knowing that Juliana was better than anyone at helping Valentina when she went red. The two sisters kept walking to catch up to their family, they had fallen a bit behind during their chat. It was easy enough to find them in a sea of red, the Carvajal family had a bit of a reputation for getting rambunctious at sporting events, mostly Guille and Eva, so they were given a pretty wide berth. 

“There’s the superstars!” Val cheered as she approached her son and nephew. Leo smiled at his mother, barely having to look up to do so. Leo had hit a growth spurt over the summer that landed him just a few inches shorter than both of his mothers. He’d probably be taller than them by Christmas. “Great game, mijo.” 

“Thanks Mom,” Leo pulled his mother into a hug, making her groan in playful disgust as she touched his sweat soaked jersey. “Victory party at Xena’s?” 

“Of course,” Juliana answered him, slipping her arm around Val’s waist since she’d already had her own hug from her sweaty son. Leo smiled excitedly and pumped his fist before turning to his cousin and sharing the apparent good news. It was a bit of a tradition for them, to treat the kids to a night out at a restaurant after an important event, like a football game or school award or when all four kids were finally out of the potty training stage. The news sufficiently spread to the rest of the family conversing around them, the attention turned to taking pictures with the two players in every possible combination. That done, Juliana got her oldest son’ attention with a tap on the shoulder. “Go shower, and we’ll meet you in the car.” 

“Is that your way of telling me I smell?” Leo grinned at her in a way that was so similar to Valentina it made Juliana melt just a little bit. 

“Yes,” She deadpanned back, waving her hand in front of her nose for effect. 

“Oh c’mon Ma, I don’t smell that bad,” Leo said, his grin changing to a smirk as he placed himself directly before his mother and lifted one arm, angling it so Juliana could smell the absence of deodorant under it. “See?” 

“Leo Carvajal-Valdes put your arm down before you kill all the plants.” Juliana playfully scolded, but let her son hug her before he ran towards the locked room. Mattais followed a second later and the rest of the family began meandering towards their vehicles. As they walked, Juliana slipped her hand into Valentina’s, who glanced over at her with a smile. Juliana smiled back, searching Valentina’s face for any trace of her earlier discomfort. It’s still there, lingering in the blue of her eyes, but it’s nowhere near as overwhelming as it had been before. Their family had that effect on Val, the best source of comfort for her. When they paused at Eva and Lucia’s car for a moment, Juliana took the opportunity to lean over and place a kiss on Val’s cheek. Val smiled and squeezed her hand in response. 

They made it to Xena’s without error, other than Maria complaining about having to sit in the last row of the car since Isabelle wasn’t quite big enough to trade out her booster seat yet, and the Carvajal-Valdes family made their boisterous entrance. The waitstaff greeted them warmly and ushered them over to a cluster of tables that had been hastily shoved together to fit the large family. As usual, the six adults clustered around one end with the youngest kids sitting closest to them and the oldest sitting on the other end of the table. 

Orders were given and delivered, conversation flowing freely between the family members. They talk about work and the game they had just watched and their kids and anything else that came to mind. It helped Valentina more than she could say and she felt the last of the remaining tension in her drift away. As always, the love of her family proved to be the best cure whenever Valentina went red, even if the majority of them didn’t even realize what they did for her. Valenitna leaned back in her seat after she finished her meal, draping her arm along the back of Juliana’s chair. Juliana, without pausing her conversation with Guille, shifted a bit and leaned into Valentina’s side. 

Slowly, the conversation started to die down and the kids began yawning one after the other. By the time the family called for the check, Isabelle was half asleep in Valentina’s lap, Diego leaned against Juliana’s side and both Maria and Leo stared at their phones with blank, sleepy eyes. Across from them, Mattis had each of the twins leaning on him, one on each side, and kept them amused with a game on his phone. Lucas had sandwiched himself between his moms, Lucia and Eva, and amused himself by making faces at little Santi who was curled up in Renata’s arms. 

“We should call in a night,” Valentina said softly and handed their waiter her debit card. “Before we have to carry all the kids to the cars.” 

“It’s not like we won’t see each other tomorrow anyway,” Eva agreed, pulling Lucas into her arms as she stood up. The little boy happily settled against her. “Are you two still okay with hosting tomorrow?” The question was directed at both Juliana and Val, but Eva’s eyes lingered on her sister. 

“Of course,” Valentina promised. “But if you show up before 9 I’m leaving you on the porch.” 

Eva rolled her eyes as Guille and Juliana laughed. Lucia smiled at her wife and shrugged her shoulders as if to say ‘you asked for that’ when Eva looked at her helplessly. Then, Lucia turned towards the end of the table and waved her hand to catch the attention of Mattis, Maria and Leo. 

“Pack it up, kids. You’ll see each other tomorrow.” 

The twins groaned as Mattias put away his cell phone but obediently moved to their father’s side when Guille called for them. Leo shuffled over to his moms, dragging Maria and Diego with him, and yawned as they began to walk out. The drive home was quiet with only the sound of the radio playing softly to break the silence. Juliana drove this time, holding the steering wheel with her left hand and holding Valentina’s hand with her right. 

They hadn’t realized they’d stayed at Xena’s so long until they arrived home and all four children went to bed without a fuss. Usually, Isabelle wanted at least three stories read to her and Diego liked it when Val sang him to sleep, but they were all tuckered out from the excitement of the game and the wonderful meal they had after. Juliana was sure they were all asleep within five minutes of laying down. Still, she went to check on them while Valentina stepped into their en suite bathroom for a quick shower before bed. Just as she thought, all four kids were sound asleep in their beds, Isabelle with her stuffed monkey in her arms, Diego gripping his favorite dinosaur blanket, Maria with a book open on her chest that Juliana quietly closed and put away after marking the open page, and Leo flung across his bed with his blanket at his feet. Juliana paused in each of their rooms long enough to kiss them on the forehead, and pull Leo’s blankets over him, before retreating to the bedroom she shared with her wife. 

The shower was still running when Juliana finished changing into her sleep clothes so she settled on her side of the bed, scrolling aimlessly through her social media feed while she waited for her wife. Eventually, Juliana clicked on a random video and then found herself watching each one that played after that until she heard the bathroom door open. 

“You didn’t have to wait up for me,” Valentina said as she moved over to the dresser. Her body was wrapped in a towel, a few stray droplets of water running down her shoulders until they met the cloth of the towel. Watching her wife, Juliana unconsciously licked her lips. 

“I like waiting up for you.” Juliana set her phone down and watched unabashedly as her wife pulled a pair of boy short underwear up her long legs. Valentina let her towel drop the ground as she raised her arm to put a long sleeve shirt on. Juliana could see the faded scars along her back. They weren’t as prominent anymore, time had softened them and made them stick out less, but they would never really go away. The marks were covered by Val’s shirt so Juliana redirected her gaze to her wife’s wet hair. When Val turned around, their eyes met. 

“You like watching me get dressed.” 

“I like watching you get undressed even more.” Juliana winked. Val’s laughter drifted over her as she climbed into bed beside her wife after turning out the lights. They laid side by side for a moment until Valentina tugged Juliana closer. Juliana nuzzled her nose against her wife’s neck and dropped a kiss there as she wrapped her arm around Valentina’s waist. “And I thought we should talk about your red moments today.” 

“We probably should.” Val agreed, pressing her lips to Juliana’s temple for a moment. “When we were here earlier, it was like it usually is. Sometimes I don’t think I deserve this life, you and our family, after everything I did when I was away.” 

“But you brought yourself out of it.” Juliana said gently, slipping her hand beneath Val’s shirt and resting her palm against Val’s abdomen. 

“I reminded myself that I earned this. We earned this, by surviving what happened to me and coming together again at the end of it all.” Juliana nodded her understanding. Verbal and physical reassurance were two of the best ways to help Valentina when she went red, and everything Juliana said in those moments boiled down to the same basic point: Valentina had earned all the good in her life, by surviving all the bad. She was proud of her wife for remembering that on her own, it wasn’t always so easy for Valentina to get out of her own head. “Then at the game, when that man brushed against me, I went back there. Not to the island but to the warehouse. It only lasted a second but it felt so real.” 

“Was there something about that man that triggered it? His voice maybe?” Juliana questioned softly. Valentina’s fingers trailed through Juliana’s hair gently. 

“Maybe?” Valentina shrugged the shoulder Juliana wasn’t using as a pillow. “Honestly it happened so fast, I’m not sure what the real trigger was.” 

Juliana hummed thoughtfully and kissed Valentina’s neck again before lifting her head so she could look Val in the eyes. Juliana regarded her wife for a moment and then leaned down to kiss her, scratching lightly at Valentina’s stomach with her nails. She felt Valentina’s hand cup the back of her neck and pulled her closer. When they parted Juliana lifted her hand to brush a stray hair behind Val’s ear. “Do you want to leave one of the lights on tonight?” 

“No, I think I’ll be okay.” Valentina smiled up at her wife, just the barest hint of fear in her eyes. “But maybe you should be the big spoon tonight.” 

“I can handle that,” Juliana laughed lightly, kissing Valentina’s nose and then her lips before laying down again. She shifted a bit to get comfortable and then pulled Valentina into her arms. Valentina tucked her head against Juliana’s neck, positioning herself so that when she tilted her chin down a bit, her ear rested over Juliana’s heart. The soothing, steady rhythm never failed to chase away the fears Valentina didn’t even know she had. Once Valentina was settled, Juliana again slipped her fingers beneath the hem of Valentina’s shirt to feel her warm skin. 

“Blue,” Valentina mumbled against Juliana’s neck when she felt the hand brushing over her back. Valentina didn’t have the same reaction to Juliana touching her scars as she did so long ago, but she appreciated her wife asking for consent anyway. Juliana’s fingers splayed across Valentina’s back and she took a deep breath, savoring the scent and feel of her wife. 

“I love you.” Juliana whispered as Valentina’s breathing began to deepen. Her eyelashes fluttered against Juliana’s neck for a moment before Valentina finally kept her eyes closed. 

“Love you.” Valentina was asleep before she finished mumbling the words back. Juliana joined her a moment later, her embrace strong and warm and more than enough to soothe the nightmares away from Valentina long before they reached the point of waking her up. 

~

The weekly family brunch brought just as much chaos as they had grown to expect over the past few years. The kids were insistent that they be allowed to enjoy the warm weather by jumping in the pool, even though the youngest ones weren’t the best swimmers yet. Leo and Mattias insisted they needed to have music blasting over the sound system on the back patio and resolutely refused to allow the adults to pick even one song. Valentina, Eva, and Guille ended up in the pool with the kids, though not on purpose in Valentina’s case. That had been the work of Guille after a bit of conspiration with his nephews, and resulted in several minutes of Val yelling at her brother through her laughter. 

While the children played in the pool (Guille and Val included - Eva was only there to make sure the little ones didn’t drown), Juliana, Lucia, and Renata worked together to put a good-sized meal on the table for everyone, including hot dogs, hamburgers, a few steaks and some grilled chicken. A salad was thrown together and a selection of salad dressings, some fruit choices and chips. They worked easily together, chatting about nothing and laughing at the antics of the kids and each of their respective spouses in the water. 

“Valentina seems better today,” Lucia commented softly to Juliana as they filled cups with ice. “She seemed a little tense yesterday.” 

“She had a few red moments.” Juliana looked up and smiled as she saw her wife scooping up their youngest nephew and using him to splash Leo and Mattias. “Nothing too major. We’re not sure what triggered them.” 

“She told Eva that she had more than she normally does in a day,” Lucia commented as they started carrying the food out to the fold out tables spread around the patio. 

“I don’t know if it was the number of them since there were only two yesterday, but they were both really intense.” Juliana looked over at her wife again, happy to see no tension in her shoulders as she held her arms out for Isabella to swim to her. 

“Well, she’s been having them more recently the last month or so hasn’t she?” Renata asked softly. Juliana nodded slightly, brow furrowing a bit as she ran through the list of possible date-related triggers that had made Valentina go red more often in the past. There was nothing that immediately came to mind, since it was nearing the end of September and most of the dates that bothered Valentina passed at the beginning of the year, the latest one being the anniversary of the day she left in early July. 

“There’s no date triggers around this time of year,” Lucia commented, obviously thinking along the same lines as Juliana. They’d all agreed, years ago, to stay open and honest with one another about the trauma related to Valentina’s disappearance and subsequent reappearance. It was one of the reasons that Juliana knew Valentina would be okay with her discussing this with Lucia and Renata, especially since Juliana would fill Valentina in on the conversation later. “It must be something else.” 

“We’ll sit down with her later, once all the kids are distracted,” Juliana said, noting the note of concern in Lucia’s voice. “For now, we should eat before the food gets cold.” 

The other two women agreed and they called the attention of the people in the pool with their yells that the food was ready. The teenagers all scrambled over to the food, their younger siblings and cousins following behind them. The adults waited until the rush had ended and all the kids were settled with their own plate of food before fixing a plate for themselves. Juliana had her back to Val, busy fixing a plate for herself, so she didn’t see the conispirital glance her wife shared with her brother and, as such, was completely unprepared when her very wet wife was suddenly pressed against her back. 

“Val!” Juliana squealed, trying in vain to wiggle out of the wet embrace. Valentina laughed and held on tighter, placing her lips right beside Juliana’s ear as she spoke, 

“I thought you liked it when I make you wet,” 

Guille made a gagging sound to their right, proving that he had heard what Valentina had said despite how low her voice had been. Juliana, despite the blush she knew had darkened her skin just the slightest bit, couldn’t resist poking at Guille just a little bit more. She dropped her own voice low, but still loud enough that Guille could hear and said, “Only when we’re both naked,” 

“That can be arranged,” Valentina teased, sliding her hand beneath Juliana’s shirt after glancing over her shoulder to make sure none of the kids were watching them. 

“Oh, God, please stop,” Guille groaned loudly. Val and Juls pulled apart, laughing, and refrained from commenting when Renata asked why Guille’s face was so red. Eva, no doubt aware of what had happened, rolled her eyes at the retreating forms of Valentina and Juliana as they both headed inside to change into dry clothes. 

“You’re horrible,” Valentina commented once they had made it to their bedroom, shutting the door as she and her wife entered. 

“You started it,” Juliana shrugged, pulling out a change of clothes for both of them. 

“You played along,” Valentina pulled her wet shirt over her head, annoyed at the way it clung to her skin. Her time in the pool had been very much unplanned, unlike Eva and Guille, so she hadn’t exactly been dressed for the activity. Her denim jeans clung to her body like a second skin and Juliana almost wished that their whole family wasn’t downstairs and would most definitely send someone to get them if they took too long to change clothes just so she could admire the sight for a little longer. 

“Guille makes it too easy,” Juliana pulled her own clothes off and pulled on a bikini with a loose t-shirt and jean shorts over it before moving to help Valentina pull the wet jeans down her legs. 

“All the times he teased us as teenagers,” Valentina muttered as she pulled her own swimsuit on and covered it with a tank top and loose shorts. “Funny how things come full circle.” 

“Karma’s a bitch,” Juliana chuckled, gripping Valentina’s hips and pulling her close once they were both dressed. Valentina smiled at her wife, draping her arms over Juliana’s shoulders and placing a short kiss against her lips. “You okay so far? Lucia and Renata are worried,” 

“I’m fine,” Valentina nodded, kissing Juliana again, “all blue, all good.” 

“Good,” Juliana smiled softly and stepped away from her wife after stealing one more kiss. “Go get some food, I’ll be down in a minute.” 

Valentina left the room as Juliana stepped into their bathroom to grab a hair tie and pull her long hair up, off her neck. That done, Juliana began to walk out of the room but stopped next to the dresser when a familiar picture frame caught her eye. Juliana paused, an unconscious smile pulling at her lips as she looked at the two photos in the frame, both of them taken on the same night only a few hours apart. 

Juliana lay awake, soft puffs of warm air ghosting across the skin of her neck in a steady pattern as the woman in her arms slept soundly. It was a bit of a role reversal for them, Valentina had been the one to lie awake at night, worrying needlessly about her life and progress and whether she deserved Juliana or not. That was something Valentina had done quite often in the past three years that they had been together, four since Valentina had returned to Juliana after being missing and presumed dead for three years. It was unbelievable, Juliana thought, how much they had to suffer to get to where they were now. Three years of bliss, three years of hell, a year of being together but apart and then, finally, three years to mark the start of forever. Valentina had graduated with her degree in journalism and business, and worked at El Centro with her older siblings until she stumbled into modeling. Well, not stumbled. The opportunity had arisen and Valentina had almost let it pass by her, content to focus on her journalism career, before deciding that her story -at least the parts the media knew about, nothing about El Vacio - her scars, could help women like her feel beautiful again. Women who had suffered needlessly, at the hands of other women, men, society as a whole. She could empower them, remind them that beauty is not a quantifiable aspect. Juliana nearly burst with pride and affection for Valentina when the first photo shoot came out and soon the two of them were taking the fashion world by storm. Tomorrow, it would all come to a head as Juliana launched her first ever line from her self-entitled brand, with Valentina modeling the center piece that had been designed with her in mind. 

Funnily enough, it wasn’t the insane amount of work coming her way the next day that kept Juliana awake that night, nor was it the nervous energy and hope that her first real launch and show would go well. It wasn’t that some of the biggest names in fashion, and one or two of her close mentors, would be there from all over the world or that nagging feeling in the back of her mind that Juliana had forgotten something that would end up being vitally important. Although those were all worries she carried around in the back of her mind, they weren’t causing the inability to sleep she currently had. No, that came from the small, velvet box that had been hidden in her nightstand for four months. The box that contained the ring she had worked endlessly on with a close friend of hers who made jewelry. The ring that would, hopefully, be on Valentina’s left hand for the rest of their lives. 

It wasn’t the show that made Juliana feel so flooded with excitement, nervousness and just the smallest amount of fear. It was what she planned to do after, during the after party and surrounded by their families and closest friends. Valentina deserved the perfect proposal and Juliana was determined to give that to her. 

The realization that she wanted to marry Valentina had been unsurprising when it came to Juliana, nearly a year ago when she had arrived home from a two week business trip and found Valentina curled up on the couch because she couldn’t sleep in their bed without Juliana. It wasn’t a huge moment for her, but when Valentina curled into her when Juliana lifted her from the couch to carry her to bed, Juliana knew she would never want anyone else. She couldn’t imagine spending her life with anyone else. Juliana had begun searching for a ring the next day. She had waited for the right time, planned as much as she could, wrote and rewrote a speech to deliver and felt more than a little nervous the whole time. Not nervous that Valentina would say no, although that small voice of doubt lingered annoyingly in the back of her mind, but nervous that it wouldn’t be enough. Valentina deserved all the happiness in the world, more than that even. 

“You’re thinking too loudly chiquita.” Valentina’s words were muffled against Juliana’s neck, the arm she had wrapped around Juliana's waist flexed slightly to pull her closer. 

“Sorry, amor,” Juliana whispered back and dropped a kiss against Valentina’s forehead. She felt Valentina’s lips shifting against her neck, a soft kiss on her pulse point. Then, Valentina lifted her head slightly so she could look at Juliana. She blinked sleepily, rubbing at her face with one hand. 

“What’s keeping you up so late?” Valentina questioned lightly. 

“Just thinking about tomorrow,” Juliana felt Valentina pull away from her slightly and watched as Valentina settled beside her, laying on her stomach with her head propped up in her hand. Juliana rolled to her side and rested her hand on Valentina’s waist, fingers slipping beneath the hem of Valentina’s shirt that had rode up slightly in her sleep. 

“Worrying about tomorrow you mean,” Valentina brushed a loose strand of hair out of Juliana’s face with her free hand, “needlessly worrying, at that.” 

“You know me too well, mi amor.” Juliana chuckled softly as Valentina rolled her eyes. 

“I know you need to sleep,” Valentina cupped Juliana’s cheek. “Tomorrow will be perfect, I know it will.” The smile that Valentina gave was soft and reassuring, Juliana nearly burst with love for this woman. She smiled back and closed the distance between their lips. Valentina hummed against her lips, swooping in to steal another kiss when Juliana started to pull away. Juliana chuckled slightly as Valentina shifted in bed until she was laying on top of Juliana. 

"I thought you said we need to sleep?" Juliana asked softly, tilting her head to the side as Valentina trailed kiss over her neck. 

"I'm not tired," Valentina smirked against Juliana's neck as Juliana groaned softly. "But if you want to stop…" 

"I never said that," Juliana protested immediately, wrapping her arms around Valentina's shoulders when she started to move like she would roll off of Juliana. Valentina laughed and let Juliana connect their lips again. 

"I love you," Juliana said when they pulled apart for a brief moment, letting Valentina go only long enough for both of them to get rid of their shirts. 

"I love you," Valentina replied, hovering over her love. "And I'm about to show you just how much," 

Juliana's laugh soon turned into a gasp and then a moan as Valentina made good on her promise. 

The majority of the next day passed in a blur of last minute preparations for both of them until they were both backstage at the fashion show, Valentina having the last little bits of her makeup applied and Juliana moving around the room to address any last second fixes that needed to be dealt with. Valentina thanked the woman who finished applying the lipstick on her and then focused on watching her girlfriend move confidently around the room. Juliana was completely in her element, the passion for her work shining in her eyes and the works of her heart spread around the room. If Valentina hadn’t already been hopelessly in love with Juliana, she’d have fallen in that moment. As it were, it only cemented the knowledge that Valentina had carried in her heart for the past year, that she wanted forever with Juliana. She wanted to promise forever to Juliana, officially instead of with the old necklaces that had finally given out on them last summer. She wanted to promise forever with the ring sitting in her purse, waiting to be unveiled at the private after party. 

When Juliana looked over at Valentina as the last model for the first section of the show stepped onto the stage, she found her already smiling. Juliana moved over to her in the semi-crowded room, the emotion she could see in Valentina’s eyes making it seem like it was only the two of them there. 

“You look so beautiful, mi amor,” Juliana whispered as she raked her eyes over Valentina’s form. Valentina blushed just the slightest bit at the unbridled want in Juliana’s eyes, resisting the urge to touch the place where her neck and shoulder met, which currently had a fading but still very obvious mark covered with makeup from the night before, and kissed Juliana’s hands. 

“I’m so proud of you,” Valentina said, squeezing Juliana’s hands and trying to resist the very strong urge to ruin both of their lipstick by kissing Juliana silly. 

“I’m proud of you,” Juliana responded and she suddenly felt overwhelmed by emotion. Valentina had come so very far from the scared, broken woman she had been when she had returned to Juliana. Valentina had let herself heal, had worked to get better and Juliana would spend the rest of her life being grateful that she got to love this extraordinary woman. It was only the knowledge that there was a crowd of people waiting for them and an MC beginning to announce their entrance that kept Juliana from dropping to her knee and proposing right then. 

“Thank you,” Valentina whispered, kissing Juliana’s knuckles again. Juliana knew that she was thanking her for more than the complement, that it was for waiting for Valentina to come home and then waiting for her to heal so they could both work to get to where they were. Juliana’s throat closed as she swallowed against the emotion that rose there and she found herself nodding slightly since she was unable to voice her emotions. 

“I love you,” Juliana whispered moments before the curtain opened to reveal them to the waiting audience. 

“I love you,” Valentina replied just as the curtain was pulled back. The first photo of the stars of the evening was one of them beaming at each other just before they stepped on stage, and was one that they both knew would become a favorite of theirs for years to come. 

The Carvajal Mansion slowly emptied out, so late into the evening that it would be better to call it early morning, until only family remained in the spacious living room. Now that the guests were gone, Valentina had left Juliana conversing with her mother in the house while she moved out to the patio with Eva and Lucia to start cleaning up. 

“You’re about to ask her, aren’t you?” Lupita asked as she watched Juliana’s eyes follow Valentina from the room. Juliana nodded without speaking, waiting until Valentina was out of sight before she pulled the box containing the ring out of her pocket. “Nervous?” 

“A little,” Juliana admitted, turning the box over and over in her hands. 

“She’ll say yes, Juliana,” Lupita said without a hint of doubt, her eyes shining in a way that Juliana had once feared they never would, when she was 15 and falling in love with a girl and knew that her mother wouldn’t approve. Lupita’s eyes held nothing but love and pride, both for her daughter and the woman her daughter was choosing to spend her life with. “She’s wanted to marry you since you were both 15 years old,” 

Juliana chuckled softly, thinking how incredible it was that all of this had started nearly a decade ago, on a random park bench where she saw the love of her life crying and knew she’d do anything to cheer her up. “You’re right, we’ve waited long enough.” 

Juliana stood up and moved to follow her girlfriend to the patio, nodding to Eva and Lucia as she went. Lucia’s eyes widened as she caught sight of the box in Juliana’s hands and she gestured frantically to Guille across the room. Guille looked up, saw the box, nodded at Lucia and then slowly moved until he could grab Valentina’s bag without anyone else noticing. Internally, he chuckled at the irony. Of course Valentina and Juliana would both be planning on proposing on the same night. 

“Hey chiquita,” Valentina greeted as Juliana approached her, dropping the trash bag full of disposable cups onto the ground. 

“Valentina,” Juliana smiled, taking a deep breath and stealing her nerves. Her hands still fiddled with the box in her hands and the motion caught Valentina’s attention. Her eyes snapped up to Juliana’s, swimming with tears even as her lips pulled into the biggest smile Juliana had ever seen on her lips. The speech Juliana had prepared wiped itself from her memory as Juliana dropped down on one knee. There was only one thing she could say as she pulled the box open. “Valentina, I love you more than anything. Will you marry me?” 

“Yes! Yes, of course - wait, Guille!” Valentina cried, Juliana’s confusion when Valentina called her brother's name turning to surprise with another black box was placed into Valentina’s hand and she dropped to her own knee. “I love you so much, Juls. Will you marry me?” 

Juliana could only nod, an incredulous laugh pulling from her throat as she and Valentina exchanged rings and then pulled one another close. They were still on the floor of the patio, clinging to one another tightly and sharing a kiss that was probably a little too deep for Juliana’s mother to witness, when Lucia called their names and asked them to hold up their hands for a photograph. 

More drinks were shared as their family offered them congratulations, none of them looking surprised at the turn of events. Valentina and Juliana held each other close the rest of the night, both of them wondering how in the world they got lucky enough to share forever with the woman beside them. 

Juliana came out of the memory just as a little body crashed against her legs and she set the photo frame down so she could pick up her daughter. 

“Mommy said you gotta eat, Mama,” Isabella informed her mother seriously, “She said to tell you she made you a plate. And we can’t have desert until you come downstairs.” 

Juliana laughed, knowing that was probably why Isabella had spoken with such urgency. Isabella did not like being denied her desert. “I guess we should head downstairs then,” 

Juliana set her daughter down and followed her out of the room, absently playing with her wedding ring as she went. 

~

The next week, Valentina had six red moments in three days. It was more than any of them were used to. Valentina rarely had more than two red moments in a month these days, and those were normally not as intense as the ones she’d been having. They came at seemingly random times, both in and outside of the house. Juliana was going out of her mind with worry by the time the seventh red moment came when Valentina was home alone while Juliana went to pick up the kids from school. 

Juliana hadn’t been gone for more than half an hour. The whole time she had been gone, she’d had that sinking feeling in her stomach that told her something was very wrong. Valentina had seemed perfectly fine when Juliana left the house, even pulling Juliana back into a kiss that almost had Juliana telling the kids to walk home so they could take advantage of the empty house before Valentina had reminded Juliana to go. She had been calmer than she had in days, it was Thursday and her last red moment had been Tuesday. Still, Juliana couldn’t help but worry and called Eva. Ten minutes after Juliana left, Eva walked into the house her sister shared with her wife and found Valentina in the kitchen, holding herself upright by the deathgrip she had on the counter as her entire body trembled. 

Eva had no idea what to do. 

She needed to call Juliana, but she didn’t want to worry her before she could get the kids home safely. She needed to get Valentina upstairs before the kids got home and saw her being so unresponsive. Valentina let out a soft whimper that made Eva’s heart break. She hadn’t seen her sister have an episode like this in years. As far as Eva knew, Valentina only shook after a particularly bad nightmare. She hadn’t had a flashback like the one she was having now since just after she and Juliana were married. 

Eva needed to move quickly, she only had fifteen minutes until Juliana would be home with all four of their kids. Eva pulled her phone out and dialed her wife’s number. 

“Hey, amor,” Lucia greeted as she answered the call. 

“Am I on speaker phone?” Eva asked instead of returning the greeting. There was a faint beeping sound and then Lucia spoke again. 

“Not anymore. What’s wrong?” Lucia kept one eye out for her oldest son and directed her youngest to put his seatbelt on. She could see Mattias walking towards her car with Leo. 

“Valentina’s having a flashback. Juliana doesn’t know yet,” Eva explained lowly. Valentina gave no indication that she was aware of Eva’s presence in the room at all. Her body continued to shake. “It’s really bad, Lucia. She won’t want the kids to see her like this.” 

“Where is she?” Lucia saw Juliana helping Isabelle into her car a few spaces away from where Lucia was parked. She left the car running and told Lucas to stay put as she exited the car and began walking to Juliana. 

“She’s in the kitchen,” Eva answered. She moved so she could look into Valentina’s eyes. Once she could see the blue of her sister’s eyes, her suspicion that Valentina was mentally far away was proven to be correct. 

“Get her upstairs,” Lucia said, and then tilted her phone away from her lips to address her son. “Mattias, go sit with your brother please. I need to talk to your aunt.” 

“Leo, get in the car,” Juliana picked up on the hint of worry in Lucia’s voice that both teenage boys missed and directed her son to sit with his own siblings. “Make sure Diego and Bella are both buckled in.” 

Leo and Mattias looked like they wanted to protest but after getting a good look at the expression on Juliana’s and Lucia’s faces, they complied. 

“She’s not responding, Lucia. I don’t think she knows that I’m here,” Eva said into the phone once she was sure that the boys wouldn’t be close enough to overhear. 

“Lucia what’s going on?” Juliana asked, her voice tense with worry. “Val?” 

“She’s having a flashback,” Lucia explained, “Eva’s with her.” 

Lucia handed her phone to Juliana without protest when Juliana asked. Juliana immediately pulled the device to her ear, “Tell me exactly what’s happening.” 

Eva did so, from the tremors that shook Valentina’s body to the way she gripped the sink like a lifeline to the hazy look in her eyes. There had only been one change since Eva arrived and that was that now Valentina was taking deep, heaving breaths and there were tears beginning to fall from her eyes. 

“Okay,” Juliana said, “take her upstairs into our room. I don’t think she’ll fight you like this, but if she does then take her to the den. Once she’s there, she’ll make her way to a corner on her own. Let her do that. She probably won’t respond if you try to give her directions so don’t try but tell her what you are going to do before you do it. She’ll have to come out of this on her own. I’ll be there in ten minutes.” 

“Okay,” Eva hung up the phone before she could even say goodbye to her own wife and began to follow Juliana’s instructions. She was worried about what she would do if Valentina decided to fight against her, but she trusted that Juliana knew what to do. Juliana knew her wife better than anyone else and she knew how to handle these episodes better than Eva ever would. Privately, Eva had always wondered if Juliana and Valentina shared some sort of cosmic sixth sense for one another, but that was something to think about at another time. 

Eva moved slowly and narrated everything she did in as soothing a voice as she could manage as she approached Valentina and began to pry her fingers loose. Valentina’s hands clenched into fists once they were off the sink, so tightly that her knuckles turned white. Eva worried that Valentina might hurt herself if she kept her hands that clenched but she could only focus on one worry at a time. 

Valentina didn’t fight against Eva’s attempts to move her, but it was clear that she was reluctant to go. She moved under Eva’s gentle pressure but her steps were sluggish and she dragged her feet behind her. Getting her up the stairs was even more difficult, Eva wished that she had the strength to simply carry Valentina up the stairs but she simply wasn’t strong enough. Luckily, she didn’t need to be. 

“Eva!” Guille called as he entered the house. His footsteps were hurried as he made his way to the staircase near the kitchen where Eva and Valentina were and he visibly gulped when he saw the state his baby sister was in. “Lucia called me.” 

“Help me get her upstairs,” Eva ordered. Guille did so, gently lifting his sister up and carrying her upstairs. She was stiff in his arms, unyielding to his attempts to shift her into a position that might be more comfortable so Guille had to carry her up in the fireman’s position. She hadn’t said anything, hadn’t made any noise at all since that first whimper, but tears were streaming down her face. 

Guille set Valentina back on her feet once they reached the master bedroom and, just as Juliana said she would, Valentina retreated to the corner of the room furthest away from the door and curled herself into a tight ball. Eva came further into the room but stopped when she saw the red stains on the back of Guille’s shirt in the spot where Valentina’s hand had been resting against his back as he carried her. Valentina was clenching her hands so tightly, she had cut her own palms. 

“Eva, she’s bleeding,” Guille pointed out worriedly. Eva took a closer look at her sister and could see the river of red slowly dripping from her hands onto her legs. Valentina had her arms crossed over her knees and had tucked her head down. 

“We can’t do anything until she comes out of this,” Eva said. “She might try to fight and hurt herself more.” 

“What do we do?” Guille asked as he kneeled down. Eva rested her hand on his shoulder. 

“Wait for Juliana and get the first aid kit ready.” 

Juliana arrived home not five minutes later with Lucia only seconds behind her. 

“Leo, take your siblings into the den and wait until one of us comes to get you. I need you to keep them from coming upstairs,” Juliana told her eldest son as she turned off the car. 

“Momma, what’s happening?” Leo asked, pleading with his eyes for his mom to explain. 

“I’ll explain everything later, mijo, I promise. But right now your mom needs me, and I need you to take care of the others so I can help her.” 

“She went red again, didn’t she?” Leo said suddenly, his eyes lighting up in sad realization. Juliana blinked in surprise. She had no idea her son even knew the significance of that phrase. 

“She did,” Juliana says simply. Leo looks at her for a moment and then up at the house before nodding to his mom. 

“Okay, I’ll keep everyone downstairs. Go help Mom,” Juliana leaned over and kissed her son’s forehead before jumping out of the car. It took all of her self control to not run to the door and she forced herself to walk calmly instead so the younger kids wouldn’t be concerned. Once Juliana was through the door, she took off running for her bedroom, taking the stairs two at a time in her effort to get to her wife faster. 

“Valentina,” Juliana called when she entered the room. Eva and Guille were both sitting on the bed with their backs to the door and turned their heads to Juliana when she entered. Juliana didn’t pay them any mind as she crossed the room to her wife. She noticed the blood on Valentina’s hands and felt the hot sting of tears in her eyes as she took in the sight of her shaking and terrified wife. She hadn’t seen Valentina this out of it in a long time and the sight threw her mind back to the first time Juliana had seen her wife like this. Back then, Juliana had no idea what to do and had simply moved on instinct. This time, she knew what to do and let her instincts guide her into action. 

“Val, hey, Valentina,” Juliana called softly as she crawled up to her wife. Valentina made a noise that sounded like a cross between a whimper and sob. The sound was heartbreaking but a good sign, it meant that Valentina had heard her. “Valentina, it’s me, Juliana. I’m here. I’m right here with you.” 

Valentina raised her head slightly, just enough for Juliana to the blue of her eyes. “Juls? I can’t-I don’t know where I am.” 

“You’re home, amor. With me,” Juliana reached out and touched Valentina’s arm, ready to pull back if Valentina jerked away. Valentina didn’t. Instead, she closed her eyes and tried to even out her breathing. Juliana moved closer and settled beside her wife before pulling Valentina into her lap. Valentina moved her head to tuck her nose against Juliana’s neck but didn’t do anything else. She still held her legs to her chest and her bleeding hands were still clenched into fists. 

Juliana began to unconsciously rock them gently as she held Valentina close. Guille left the room when he heard the kids beginning to get a little rambunctious and closed the door behind him, just in case one of them managed to sneak upstairs. Slowly, the tension in Valentina’s shoulders began to relax and she leaned more naturally into her wife. Juliana kept up a steady stream of whispered reassurances, that she was there, that Valentina was safe, that they were home. Eva watched silently, the part of her that was always just a little bit in awe of the love Val and Juls shared marvelling at the sight before her. 

Eva wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but she thought it must have been about 45 minutes since she arrived that Valentina seemed to be fully back with them again. She had pulled away from Juliana a few minutes before when the pain of her hands registered in her brain. Eva had handed Juliana the first aid kit and then made herself comfortable on the floor to clean and bandage Valentina's other hand. 

“Val?” Juliana asked softly after both hands were bandaged. 

“Juls,” Valentina answered just as softly. “I-I don’t know what happened. I was going to make a snack for the kids and I went to wash my hands and then…” Valentina trailed off and curled against Juliana’s chest. “I don’t know what happened.” 

“Shh, mi amor, we’ll figure this out. All that matters is that you're okay right now, at this moment,” Juliana kissed the top of Valentina’s head. 

“That’s the seventh one this week, Juls. They keep getting worse,” Valentina mumbled. “I’m so tired.” 

“I know, love,” Juliana kissed her head again. 

“Did the kids see?” Valentina asked after a moment of silence. Juliana shook her head. 

“No, Eva called me just as I was picking them up. Lucia and Guille have them downstairs,” Juliana stroked her fingers through Valentina’s hair. Valentina looked at her sister. 

“I didn’t even hear you get here. That one lasted a long time,” Valentina shook her head. “Longer than any of the others.” 

“Hey, hey, stop,” Juliana rubbed Valentina’s back when she felt her wife beginning to tense up again. “We’re okay, you’re safe. We’ll figure out what’s triggering this.” 

“I don’t think there is a trigger,” Valentina said and pulled away from Juliana a little bit. “None of the episodes have anything in common, not the place or the people around me or what I’m doing at the time. There’s nothing to set me off,” Valentina frowned slightly, “nothing except a feeling.” 

“What kind of feeling?” Eva asked curiously as she finished wrapping Valentina’s hand and let go of it. Valentina pulled her hand back to her chest and studied the bandages. 

“Just a feeling, like I’m being watched somehow, but there’s never anything there when I come out of it,” Valentina slumped further into her wife’s embrace. Juliana hummed softly and ran her hand along Valentina’s back in a soothing motion. “I hate feeling like this again.” 

“Feeling like what?” Juliana questioned softly. 

“Like it’s not safe for you to be around me.” 

“You would never hurt any of us, Valentina. We all know that,” Juliana didn’t release her hold on her wife when she tried to pull out of their embrace. She wouldn’t let Valentina retreat into herself like she knew would happen if Juliana let go. 

“I hurt myself,” Valentina looked at her bandaged hands, “I kept myself from lashing out at you by hurting myself,” She looked at Eva as she spoke. “What if next time I can’t control it? I don’t want to hurt any of you.” 

“You won’t hurt us,” Juliana promised. “Valentina, we all know how to approach you during these episodes so we can keep everyone safe.” 

“They kids don’t. What if I’m alone with them next time it happens?” Valentina tries to pull away again and this time Juliana let’s her. Valentina climbs to her feet and begins to pace around their bedroom. “You know what I could do if I’m not in control, Juliana.” 

“Valentina, stop,” Juliana stood up and stepped into her wife’s path. Eva stayed on the floor and packed up the first aid kit to let her sister and her sister’s wife talk this out. “You’re getting yourself too worked up. You need to breathe, baby. Copy me.” 

Valentina’s hand is shaking when Juliana picks it up to place against her chest, letting Valentina feel the rise and fall as she takes deep, measured breaths until Valentina is doing the same. 

“You won’t hurt anyone, you won’t let yourself hurt anyone.” 

“How can you know?” Valentina rested her head against Juliana’s shoulder. 

“Because of this,” Juliana touched the bandage on Valentina’s hand, “because I know you inside and out. I hate that you had to hurt yourself to do it, but you stopped yourself from lashing out. And the kids,” Juliana stroked her fingers through Valentina’s hair, “they can learn. Not about everything, but they’re going to have questions about what is going on. Leo asked if you went red again.” 

Juliana feels the way Valentina takes a sharp breath, feels the wetness of Valentina’s tears on her neck at the revelation. Valentina had been trying so hard to keep her children safe from her trauma since this started up again and on some level, she must have felt like she had failed since their oldest had obviously noticed that something was going on. 

“I never wanted them to find out like this,” Valentina cries against Juliana’s neck. Juliana closes her eyes and lets the tears in her eyes fall as she kissed Valentina’s temple. 

“I know, mi amor,” Juliana whispered, “we’ll get through this together, okay? You’re not alone. You’re never alone.” 

Valentina doesn’t verbally respond but wraps her arms more securely around her wife and pulls her closer. Eva stands up and moves towards the door to give the couple their privacy and check on the kids for them. She catches Juliana’s eye as she leaves and nods slightly when Juliana mouths the words ‘thank you’ to her. 

Eva meets Lucia at the tops of the stairs and immediately pulls her wife into a hug. 

“Oh, my love,” Lucia cups the back of Eva’s head and holds her close. “Tell me what happened.” 

“I’ve never seen her like this, Luce,” Eva pulled back slightly. “Not even after the warehouse. She’s so scared of herself, of what she might do if she loses control.” 

“We’ll figure out what’s causing these and we’ll adjust,” Lucia promises, kissing Eva softly. “Valentina’s stronger than any of us, she’ll come through this.” 

“I wish she didn’t have too,” Eva mumbled. Lucia hugged her again, kissing her hair. All those years ago, when Valentina was first trying to process her trauma and they were trying to adjust to having her back in their lives, Lucia had spent many nights holding her crying lover in her arms while Eva mourned the carefree sister she used to have. Valentina had come so far since then, she had learned to live and be happy again, she’d built a beautiful life with Juliana but they all knew her trauma could come back at any time. 

“I know, love,” Lucia kissed her hair again and squeezed her tight. She waited until Eva was ready to pull back and then cupped her face, gently wiping away the tear tracks with the pads of her thumbs. She kissed Eva gently and rested their foreheads together for a moment before taking Eva’s hand in her own. “Ready?” 

Eva nodded and let her wife lead her down the stairs and into the den. Renata had arrived at some point with the rest of the kids in tow and the group of cousins were all sitting on the floor together, looking up at the screen while four of them played some type of racing game. Only Leo wasn’t with them, he was sitting with Guille looking much more worried than any 16 year old boy should. 

“Is Mom okay?” He asked as Lucia and Eva sat down on the couch on his other side. 

“She will be,” Eva promised. “You’re Momma is with her now, but they may need to stay up there for a little while longer.” 

“What happened?” Leo looked at each of his aunts and uncle for a response and watched as they traded a look. “You aren’t going to tell me.” 

“It’s not our story to tell,” Guille grasped his nephew’s shoulder. “I know you know that your Mom went red and you want to know why, but that is something that she has to tell you about. It’s not our place.” 

“But you know why?” Leo asked. Guille, Renata, Eva, and Lucia all nodded. “Does it have anything to do with the plane crash?” 

“What plane crash?” Eva asked slowly, though she had a feeling she knew where this was going. 

“The one Mom was in, where Abuelo Leon died,” Leo pulled out his phone. “It’s been all over the news, the anniversary of Mom’s return home.” 

Leo turned his phone and showed the four adults a recent article headline proclaiming to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Valentina’s safe homecoming after a plane crash had left her stranded on a remote island for three years. It was the story they had told the press so many years ago, a story that had been easy to sell since they owned one of the most prominent news sources in Mexico. There was no mention of Vacio or anything else related to Valentina's disappearance. The date had been made up after Valentina defeated Alacran in that warehouse, it was months after her actual return home. She’d never had any reaction to it before, even when the media was celebrating her return as they liked to do occasionally. It wasn’t everyday that a person came back to life after being legally dead for three years, the nation wanted to celebrate the life Valentina had earned back. 

“It could,” Eva said after a moment. “But we don’t know for sure. There’s a lot that happened that the media doesn’t know about. You’ll have to wait for your Moms to explain everything to you.” 

Leo nodded in acceptance but he didn’t look very happy about it. He had inherited Valentina’s protective instincts so while he was usually easy going and happy, as soon as anyone approached his family the wrong way he was roaring and ready to go. Apparently it made getting a date very difficult for Maria. Leo put his phone away and moved over to join his siblings and cousins but he didn’t play the game they were absorbed in. Instead he held Isabella in his lap and tried to distract himself from his racing thoughts, wondering what could have possibly happened to his mother to make her feel like she had to hide from their family. He hoped she trusted him enough to tell him, so he could understand and so he could help. His Moms deserved everything good that the world had to offer and Leo would help them get that in whatever way he could. 

~

Juliana and Valentina emerged from their room only an hour later, not wanting to keep everyone waiting for them and certainly not wanting their kids to become even more worried. One of the other adults had ordered food to be delivered for the whole family and they were all still in the den with their plates of pizza when Val and Juls joined them. Moments after they sat down on the couch together, Valentina didn’t feel okay enough to let go of Juliana’s hand yet, their four kids were around them. 

Leo settled beside Valentina, carefully taking her hand when he noticed the bandage there and leaning his head against her shoulder. Maria sat beside Juliana and leaned against her as Diego and Isabella wiggled into their mother’s laps. Diego settled with his back against Juliana’s chest and Isabella climbed into Valentina’s lap facing her and settled her ear right over Valentina’s heart. Valentina squeezed her oldest son’s hand gently and let go of Juliana’s hand so she could hold her daughter against her chest. Juliana let her hand settle against Valentina’s thigh so her wife could still feel her close by. 

“Blue?” Leo asked softly after a long moment of silence. Valentina sucked in a deep breath as fresh tears sprang to her eyes but nodded her head slightly. 

“Blue,” Valentina confirmed, unconsciously leaning closer to her wife. Juliana squeezed her thigh. “I’m sorry, I never wanted you to see me like this.” 

“Don’t apologize, Mom,” Leo shook his head and kept his voice low so he wouldn’t distract his cousins still playing video games. “Aren’t you always telling me that however I feel is okay? Maybe you should follow your own advice.” 

“I knew that would come back against me at some point,” Valentina half smiled as Leo laughed softly. Juliana carefully leaned over to kiss Valentina’s cheek without disturbing Maria or Diego against her, both of whom were half asleep. Valentina hadn’t realized how much time had passed until then. “We’ll talk about this after your siblings go to bed.” 

Leo nodded in acceptance and leaned back against the couch to finish eating his pizza. Juliana gently roused Maria and Diego and directed them to finish eating while she moved to fix a plate for herself and Valentina. They ate in a mostly comfortable silence, Valentina could feel the eyes of the other adults around the room on her but she ignored them for the moment. She could explain what happened to them after she had the conversation she never wanted to have with Leo. Valentina suddenly felt more exhausted than she had in years at the thought of exposing her son to all the trauma Valentina had worked so hard to recover from. 

Juliana put the three younger kids to bed while Valentina said goodbye to her brother and sister downstairs. Lucia and Renata had already left with their respective children so it was just the three Carvajal’s standing in the entrance hall. Leo was waiting in the den, somewhat impatient but only because he wanted to help his mom and didn’t understand why she was going red all the time, or what that phrase really meant. 

“Are you sure you don’t want us to stay?” Eva asked her sister. 

“I’ll be okay,” Valentina promised. “I’m not saying it will be easy, but he deserves to know. Juliana and I already decided to start my sessions with Barbara up again and maybe schedule something with Beltran to help Leo understand.” 

“As long as you’re sure,” Guille pulled his baby sister into a hug, unfathomably thankful when she hugged back instead of remaining stiff in his embrace as she had before. 

“I am, Juls will be with me.” 

“There’s no one better,” Eva followed her brother’s example and hugged Valentina. 

“Thank you,” Valentina whispered in her sister’s ear. “For earlier, I don’t know what would have happened if the kids saw me like that.” 

“That’s what family is for,” Eva squeezed her tighter for just a moment. “Call us if you need anything.” 

“Drive safe, both of you,” Valentina waited in the doorway as her siblings climbed into their respective vehicles to get home to their own families, only closing the door once both of them had pulled out of the long driveway. Juliana was back downstairs when Valentina closed and locked the front door, waiting for her wife at the base of the stairs. She moves cautiously when she goes to embrace Valentina and for a moment Valentina hates herself for putting them back in this position again, for making her wife feel unsure about them, about her, about if it’s okay to touch Valentina again. 

“Stop,” Juliana whispers in her ear and holds Valentina as close as possible. “Stop blaming yourself. You haven’t done anything wrong.” 

“I feel like we’re back where we started twenty years ago,” Valentina mumbles against Juliana’s neck. 

“We’re not there anymore Val. We’re here, we’re safe, and we’re going to get through this just like we’ve gotten through everything else, together,” Juliana presses a kiss into Valentina’s hair. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” 

"Should we tell him everything?" Valentina asks softly without pulling away from her wife. Juliana's hands slid across her back as she kissed Valentina's hair again. 

"That's up to you. It's your story to tell." 

"It's our story," Valentina corrected a moment later, as she did every time Juliana tried to downplay her own trauma from the time they lost fighting in a war that was never supposed to be theirs. 

"It's still your decision," Juliana pulled away slightly to look her wife in the eyes. "However much you want to tell him, or however little, I support you. Always." 

"Thank you," Valentina whispered softly. "Not just for tonight but for everything. I don't know what would have happened if you had given up on me." 

"You don't ever have to worry about that, my love," Juliana kissed her softly, rubbing her thumbs in soothing circles against Valentina's shoulders. "I'll never give up on you or on us. We fought for this, we earned it. I'm not letting go of you." 

"I love you so much, Juliana," Valentina whispered the words against her wife's lips before kissing her properly. 

"I love you too, more than anything," Juliana kissed her again. "Are you ready?" 

"No but that's never stopped me before," Valentina squared her shoulders as she pulled away from her wife. Juliana could see her mentally preparing herself for the coming conversation. Juliana didn't let Valentina get too far from her before wrapping an arm around her wife's waist in silent support and together they walked back to the den. 

Leo was sitting on the couch, alternating between biting his lips and his nails in nervous anticipation. Juliana smiled shortly at the sight, seeing both herself and her wife in their eldest child's nervous ticks. 

"Mom?" Leo asked after his moms had settled on the couch together. Valentina looked at him curiously. "Are you still blue?" 

"I am," Valentina promised him, her shoulders sagging slightly at the relief she saw in his eyes. "Do you know what that means?" 

"Not really," Leo admitted sheepishly. "I just know that's what Mom asks you sometimes when you zone out. But I don't know why or what it means." 

"It's a very long story, but I can tell you it if you want," Valentina took a deep breath and leaned against Juliana for a moment. "It's not a happy story." 

"I want to hear it. I want to know so I can help," Leo leaned forward eagerly and decided to go ahead and start the story off by asking, "is it about the plane crash?" 

"It started with that," Valentina said. "Really it started three years before that when I met your mom but you already know that part of the story," Valentina laughed slightly and squeezed Juliana's hand before sobering up and continuing the story. 

She didn't tell Leo everything that happened with Vacio, not the way they tortured her or how vicious her fight to get home was. She glossed over the fight at the warehouse and then spoke about the healing process they had endured afterwards. Valentina watched her son's face carefully as she spoke about how she ended the conflict with Vacio, how she hated doing what she did to Alacran but she didn't regret it, even if it took her a very long time to make peace with it. 

"Those times when I get stuck in my own head, when I go red, it's because I sometimes don't think I truly deserve this life, with your mom and your siblings and you." 

"But you do deserve this," Leo said, just as Juliana expected he would. "You made it home, you got better." 

“I know,” Valentina lifted the hand not holding on to her wife like a lifeline and rubbed her son’s back gently. “I know that rationally, but I don’t always think rationally when I go red like that.” 

“I don’t understand,” Leo shook his head and ran a hand through his hair in the same manner as Valentina did when she was frustrated. 

“Think of it like this,” Juliana began. “After your games, you have to watch the film and review what you could have done differently right? And sometimes you see a play that you could have used instead of the one you did,” Juliana paused and waited for Leo to nod his head in acknowledgement. “When Mom goes red, she can’t see the good play because her mind is so set on the bad. When she’s blue, she can see the good play and understand why it’s the good one.” 

“Okay,” Leo said slowly, obviously trying to rationalize the whole story in his mind. Valentina continued to rub his back soothingly for a moment before speaking again. 

“I know this is a lot to take in and you probably have questions, but it’s late. You should rest, take some time to think about all of this.” 

“But you’ll answer my questions?” Leo’s eyes were the same shade of blue as Valentina’s as he looked at her with clear expectation on his face. 

“Yes, but there are some things that I won’t tell you about, things that very few people know,” things that only two people knew actually, those two being Valentina’s wife and therapist. 

“Yeah, okay,” Leo nodded his head, his eyes still clouded with all the thoughts running through his mind. He moved suddenly to pull his mom into a strong hug, wrapping both of his arms around Valentina and resting his head against her collarbone like he did when he was just a baby. Valentina pressed her nose against his hair and hugged him back just as tightly. “I love you, mom.” 

“I love you too mijo,” Valentina kissed his head and then released him so he could give Juliana the same treatment. Another longer than normal hug later and Leo left the den to make his way upstairs to bed. Valentina waited until she had heard his bedroom door close to collapse against Juliana, letting her tears flow freely. 

“We’ll get through this my love,” Juliana promised, her own voice shaky with the emotions she didn’t bother to keep in. It would only make Valentina more upset later on if she thought Juliana was putting on a brave face for her sake. Valentina mumbled something incoherent and tucked her nose against Juliana’s neck and cried until there were no more tears left and her body succumbed to the emotional exhaustion of the day. 

Juliana waited until she was sure Valentina wouldn’t wake up and then carefully carried her up to bed. 

~

Valentina called Barbara early the next day to schedule an appointment and, after hearing the severity of the situation, Barbara had her come in early that afternoon. Juliana accompanied her and waited patiently, or at least as patiently as she could, in the waiting room during Valentina’s session. More familiar with the process, and more trusting of Barbara now than she had been 25 years ago, Valentina was hoping to quickly find the root of her issues, so they could control them. Find the trigger, learn how to avoid it. 

Unfortunately, it couldn’t be that easy. 

Valentina’s nightmares worsened after her first session. She barely slept unless she was simply too exhausted to keep going on. Her dreams had changed as well, in the worst way, because now she didn’t just dream of Juliana being tortured by Vacio and Alacran, but of their children as well. Leo with matching whip marks on his back, Maria held up by chains on her arms and legs, Diego crying as he tried in vain to run away and little Isabelle lying prone on the floor with her eyes wide open in fear. It was too much for Valentina to take. 

She wanted to run. 

Not to leave, never that. She fought like hell to get back to Juliana all those years ago and she would fight like hell now to save herself again. But she also needed a moment away from all of it. She needed a second to breathe and feel like she could be okay without Juliana’s concerned gaze on her, or Leo’s, or Eva’s or Guille’s or anyone else’s. That’s why one night, a month after Valentina had started seeing Barbara again, she found herself on the roof of the house she shared with Juliana, gazing up at the stars. 

She felt blessedly calm now, her shoulders slumped in the relief she felt at not having had a red moment all week. Her nightmares were still as present as ever, but Valentina hadn’t spaced out around her family or at work since the previous Friday and she could tell that everyone was breathing a little easier because of it. She could hear them down below, the last of the party to celebrate Leo and Mattia’s leading their football team to victory at the championship game winding down. Diego, Isabelle, and the rest of the younger kids were already asleep up in the playroom where they’d all be staying that night. Maria was looking sleepy when Valentina slipped away but Val knew she’d wait until the very last second before going to bed herself. Leo and Mattias were still sitting with Guille, Renata, and Eva discussing the finer points of the game and how their chances looked for next year while Juliana and Lucia busied themselves cleaning up the patio and kitchen. Valentina didn’t need to see her wife to know that Juliana would be periodically looking in her direction and the thought brought a smile to her lips. No matter how low Valentina had felt, or how red she had gone, Juliana had been there every step of the way. 

Just as Valentina was contemplating things she could do for her wife to show her appreciation, there was a shift in the air behind her. Instincts that she had thought to be long buried sprung up and before Valentina had registered the motion, she was standing upright in a fighting stance. 

“Easy,” A familiar voice said, one that Valentina had not heard in many years, and the figure that had appeared on the roof held their hands up in surrender. “Sorry, I should have thought about that. You wouldn’t be used to people appearing like that anymore.” 

“I don’t know if I was ever used to people appearing like that, even when I did it,” Valentina relaxed her stance. “It’s good to see you, Maya.” 

“You, too,” Maya removed her hood. She looked the same as she had so long ago, except for her eyes. They were more clouded now, darker, like she’d still been fighting. Knowing how dedicated she had been to stopping Vacio, Valentina expected that to be true. Valentina may have won her war, but others are still fighting their own. 

“What are you doing here?” Valentina asked curiously as she settled back on the rooftop. Maya silently sat beside her leaving enough space between them for another person like she expected someone else to join them. 

“I came to check on you, and tell you the good news,” Maya’s eyes were focused on the stars. “I’ve been watching you for a while. I wanted to see if you were happy.” 

“I am,” Valentina scooted forward to look over the edge of the roof at her family down below. “Despite it all, I somehow made it here, with Juliana and our family. I never thought I could be this happy.” 

Maya was quiet for a moment before she looked down at the people below as well and then she spoke. “If you could, would you have done anything differently?” 

“I don’t know,” Valentina admitted. “I can’t say that I enjoyed being away for 3 years, or everything that I did during that time, but it made me who I am. I understand more now, about myself and the things that are important to me. About what it means to really love someone,” Valentina paused, glancing over at her old friend. Maya was as emotionless as always but Valentina could see the clench in her jaw. “I am sorry that I couldn’t be what you wanted me to.” 

“Don’t be,” Maya tried to shrug nonchalantly, but didn’t quite manage it. “She’s always been the one for you and you’ve always been hers. I accepted that a long time ago.” 

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt,” Valentina followed Maya’s gaze to Juliana, watching her wife ruffle their son’s hair and try to get him to go up to bed. 

“No, but I care about your happiness more than I do about my pain,” Maya looked away from Juliana and at the stars again. “Besides, we never would have worked out. You may have been in this vigilante world for a little while, but we both know you never belonged here. You belong with Juliana, with your family. I understand that now,” Maya pulled her knees to her chest. “And I have good news.” 

“Right,” Valentina said. “You said that earlier. What is it?” 

“It’s done, the last Vacio warehouse was taken out last week,” Maya glanced over at Valentina, noting the surprise in her eyes. “After Alacran was...taken care of...Vacio spent years trying to build themselves back up. Everytime we thought we had them pinned down, someone would get out and start all over. They had warehouses and stores all over the world. The last one was in Brazil, it was brutal,” Maya cleared her throat looking suddenly haunted and Valentina wondered what her friend had seen in the past 25 years to make her look so scared but didn’t dare ask, “but it’s over now. I wasn’t sure if you knew or not, but I thought you deserved to know it was over. We finally finished the battle you started so long ago.” 

“That’s,” Valentina trailed off, unsure what to say. “What are you going to do now?” 

“I’m not sure. Guess I’ll figure something out,” Maya began to stand up but Valentina reached out and caught her wrist. 

“Wait,” Valentina stood as well, “Stay here for a little bit, take a few days to think things over.” 

“No, I couldn’t impose.” 

“It’s not an imposition if you’re invited,” Valentina laughed slightly. “At least come say hi to Juliana before you leave.” 

Maya looked reluctant but eventually nodded her consent and followed Valentina down the hidden path she had created to the roof from the backyard. 

Juliana was waiting at the picnic table near the patio and looked up in surprise when a second set of footsteps followed her wife to the table. 

“Maya?” Juliana said, smiling at the other woman. “I wondered if we’d ever see you again.” 

“You know I’d have to check in eventually,” Maya inclined her head slightly, “I wanted to tell Valentina that we finally got the last of Vacio’s stores. They’re gone for good now.” 

“And then I told her that she had better come say hi before disappearing again,” Valentina chimed in, nodding slightly at Juliana to assure that she’d explain the Vacio situation later. 

“I’m glad you did,” Juliana said and then pulled the startled woman into a hug that Maya clearly wasn’t expecting. “Thank you,” Juliana whispered in Maya’s ear. “For fighting when she couldn’t. For letting her stay with me.” 

“She belongs with you,” Maya said back just as softly before pulling away. 

“What are you going to do now?” Juliana asked curiously, settling into the circle of Valentina’s arms as they sat down together on one side of the picnic table. Maya hesitantly sat on the other side. 

“I’m not sure,” Maya responded honestly, looking up at the stars to keep herself from thinking about how it might feel if she was the one Valentina was holding so tightly. “Maybe take a vacation, find somewhere I haven’t been before.” 

“You’re always welcome here,” Juliana offered. “If you need a safe place to land.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Maya promised but Juliana and Valentina knew she was bluffing. After tonight, they’d probably never see her again or if they did it would be in another twenty years. “But I should leave now, I’ll need to find a flight to catch before I can get out of here.” 

“Don’t be a stranger,” Valentina told her, offering Maya a smile that was almost unlike any Maya had seen on her face before. Almost. A smile full of love, just not the kind Maya had always wanted to see from her. Not a smile like the one Valentina gave Juliana everyday. 

Maya nodded her head and stood up, not quite managing to evade the hugs Juliana and Valentina rose to give her but at least breaking them off early before she climbed back over the roof and disappeared into the night. 

“She knows we have a gate, right?” Juliana asked Valentina, looking at the space where Maya had been. “She doesn’t have to go leaping off the roof.” 

“It’s more dramatic that way,” Valentina said, grinning. Her features sobered quickly and she looked out towards the road that Maya had probably taken. “Do you think we’ll ever see her again?” 

“I hope we will,” Juliana slid her arm around her wife’s waist and held her close. Valentina wrapped her own arm around Juliana in return and leaned against her shoulder. They stood there, under the stars together, for a long while and Valentina felt better than she had in weeks. She felt like maybe everything could be okay again. 

No, Valentina thought, turning her head to press a kiss against Juliana’s cheek. She knew everything would be okay again, better than that even. This was the happily ever after they had fought so hard for and they would keep fighting for it as long as they needed to. 

Valentina had a feeling they wouldn’t need to fight for very much longer. 

~

They don't stick to tradition when it comes to the night before their wedding but Juliana and Valentina had always been more in favor of traditions they created themselves. Dancing in the kitchen, Juliana cooking breakfast and Val cooking dinner, walks through the park at sundown, and star gazing dates on anniversaries.  They saw no reason to break their traditions so the night before their wedding, Juliana and Valentina could be found cuddling in the hammock in the backyard of the Carvajal mansion. 

Juliana held her future wife against her chest, idly playing with Valentina’s engagement ring where their hands rested tangled together against Juliana’s stomach. Valentina’s eyes were closed but her breathing wasn't deep enough for her to be asleep just yet. Juliana pressed a kiss against her hair. 

"We should go inside my love," Juliana said softly. Valentina shook her head in an adorably childish manner and smuggled deeper into Juliana. 

"But I'm comfy," Valentina replied as she tilted her head up slightly, nose brushing against Juliana’s neck. 

"You'll be more comfortable in bed," Juliana pointed out, rubbing her free hand across Valentina’s back. She felt the same soul crushing relief she always did when Valentina didn't react to the pressure against the scars that littered her lower back. "We have to be up early." 

"I know," Valentina opened her eyes and turned her head up to look at Juliana. "Are you ready?" 

"To spend my life with you? I've been ready since we were 15." Juliana fixed her gaze on Valentina, watching the emotions roll across her features. It was hard to believe that it had been ten years since they met. It was even harder to believe that seven years ago, Valentina was legally dead and had remained that way until she showed up out of the blue four years ago and saved Juliana’s life. So much history, so many scars. 

“Even if I’m not the same person I was then?” Valentina’s eyes were open, unclouded. Juliana could see all of her fears and doubts hidden in the blue depths. 

“Valentina,” Juliana began, letting go of Val’s hand so she could cup her face gently and keep their eyes locked. “I am in love with every version of you that has, does, or will ever exist. It’s okay that you’ve changed. I have too.” Valentina let her eyes fall closed for a moment as Juliana stroked her cheek. “We’ll keep changing. You won’t be the same woman you are now in five years and neither will I, but I will love you just the same. Probably more, actually, if the last five years are any indication.” 

Valentina’s eyes were watery when they opened even as her lips stretched into a smile. “I’m glad we decided not to write our own vows. If yours had been  anything like that, I would’ve been a mess at the altar.” 

Juliana laughed, bringing their lips together in a gentle kiss. Valentina sighed against her lips. 

“I love you,” Juliana promised when they parted. “I will always love you.” 

“I love you too,” Valentina whispered the words back, suddenly overcome with emotion. Juliana pulled her close and held her tight for a while longer. Eventually, they climbed out of the hammock and made their way up stairs to the bedroom they’d be using for the night, the same room that they had shared their first kiss in ten years ago. 

In the morning, the mansion was a flurry of activity for everyone except the two brides. Even though Eva had dragged Valentina out of the bedroom, more like pushed and prodded until Val finally let go of Juliana, soon after they woke up, both women were surprisingly relaxed. 

The wedding had become somewhat of a social event, at least the reception. Valentina’s celebrity had only risen since she’d returned and rejoined society and Juliana’s had grown right along with her as she made a name for herself in the fashion world. They were a power couple in some circles and relationship goals according to many hashtags. While the ceremony itself was private with only close friends and family, Juliana and Valentina had decided to open up the reception a bit so that everything from models to reporters would be there. Even knowing that they were going to be the center of attention all day didn’t have either of them on edge. 

“How are you so calm?” Eva asked from where she was putting the finishing touches on Valentina’s hair before she helped her into her dress. 

“I don’t have any reason to be nervous,” Valentina looked over her makeup and then smiled at her older sister. “It’s Juliana.” That was answer enough for Eva but she raised her eyebrow in suspicion when Valentina’s smile suddenly became teasing. “You’ll understand when it’s your turn to marry Lucia.” 

“Who said I want to marry Lucia?” Eva asked after clearing her throat from a sudden coughing fit. 

“The diamond ring in your purse,” Valentina replied easily. “I saw it when I gave you our rings.” 

“Right,” As maid of honor, Eva had been given the responsibility of holding on to Val and Juls’ wedding rings which now rested in a box in her bag, right next to a velvet pouch she had gotten almost six months ago. 

“I think it’s great, just so you know,” Valentina stood up, looking over her hair in the mirror before turning to her still shocked sister. “And I’m pretty sure she’ll say yes.” 

Actually, Valentina had it on good authority that if Eva didn’t propose soon, Lucia would. Of course she couldn’t tell Eva that, but it was nice to know that the woman her sister loved was just as hopelessly in love with Eva as Eva was with her. 

“I hope she does,” Eva whispered and then cleared her throat again. “We can worry about that later though. For now, let’s get you married.” 

Juliana was waiting near the gazebo where she’d be marrying the love of her life in just under an hour, waiting for said love to get into her own place for their first look. She didn’t feel nervous or anxious, she was simply ready. Ready to spend the rest of her life loving Valentina. 

“Wow,” Juliana heard Eva’s voice and kept herself from turning to look. “She’s gonna blow you away.” 

“She does every day,” came Valentina’s answer which made it even harder for Juliana to not turn around. 

“Just a few more seconds,” Lucia said, reading the anticipation on Juliana’s face and gesturing for Eva to join her where she stood off to the side. She lifted one hand to signal to the photographer, who brought their camera into positon. “On my count. One, two, three.” 

Juliana turned as was met with a vision in white. Valentina’s dress climbed delictly over her shoulders, lace running down her arms. The bodice hugged her frame with a long train behind her. Her hair was pulled into an elegant bun, a few loose ringlets framing her face and her eyes filled with so much love Juliana could almost see it flowing right out. 

Valentina drank in the sight of her Juliana, the hair on one side of her hair braided back and the rest spilling over her shoulder in loose waves. Juliana’s dress was sleeveless and had more of a flair around the waist. She had decided to forgo the train so her dress was cut shorter, a slit on the side exposing her left leg until just above the knee. 

“You look beautiful,” they both said at the same time and then laughed as they met in the middle, wrapping one another in a warm embrace. 

“I can’t wait to marry you,” Valentina whispered in Juliana’s ear as they hugged. Juliana squeezed her tighter. 

“I love you.” 

Eva and Lucia stepped in before they could give in to the urge to kiss one another, they did not want to redo the make they had spent all morning on any more than necessary, and they were ushered into their private rooms to wait until the ceremony began. Lupita was waiting for Juliana in her designated room, beaming proudly at her. 

“I’m so proud of you,” Lupe said as she hugged her daughter. “I’d always hoped you would find someone who would love you like Valentina does.” 

“Thanks Ma,” Juliana said. “For everything. I love you.” 

“I love you too, mija,” Lupe kissed her daughter on the cheek, wiped away the lipstick that clung to her skin, and they settled in to wait. 

Across the hall, Valentina was doing her best not to cry again as she, Eva, and Guille reminisced about their father. He would have loved to be there to walk Val down the aisle, would have loved it even more that Juliana would be the one waiting for her. 

“He’d be so proud of you, Val,” Guille hugged his baby sister to his chest, almost unable to believe that she was about to get married. “Just like we are.” 

“We couldn’t have picked a more perfect match for you,” Eva said as she joined the hug, remembering Juliana’s determination to find Valentina and bring her home, the steadfast way she stood at Valentina's side while they healed. She couldn’t have asked anyone to love Valentina better. 

“I almost can’t believe she still chose me,” Valentina said. “After everything.” 

“You better start believing it,” Guille said as the band began to play a familiar tune, “because that’s our cue.” 

The ceremony was brief and beautiful, Valentina and Juliana promised to love and cherish one another for the rest of their lives together, slipped on their wedding rings, and kissed to the sound of their family and a few close friends cheering for them. Later, when they looked at the photographs from the event, they’d marvel at the love they could see radiating from them. 

Now, the reception was in full swing. Valentina and Juliana were swaying together in the middle of the dance floor, holding one another more than truly dancing. Their eyes were closed, foreheads resting together, until by some unspoken mutual agreement they leaned in and connected their lips. The assembled audience clapped as the bride’s shared a kiss and the MC announced that it was almost time to send the newlyweds on their honeymoon. 

No one noticed a figure dressed all in black, watching from a distance. Their heart breaking and healing all in one as they celebrated the life their once-friend had earned and mourned for the life they could have led. By the time Valentina felt the eyes on her and looked up, the figure was gone. 

~

Learning that Vacio was truly gone, destroyed so they could never come back, lifted an invisible weight off of Valentina’s shoulders. In the weeks that followed Maya’s surprise visit, Valentina’s nightmares began to fade away, her smiles started to feel genuine again. Juliana could see the tension in her shoulders releasing day by day as the woman she had fallen in love with so long ago returned to herself before her eyes. 

It was close to the winter holidays now, their entire family gearing up for Christmas which had become a rather large event with all of them. Juliana was sitting in her home office, looking at prices for tickets to Canada. It had become something of a tradition for their family. When Leo was born, Valentina had wanted her kids to experience a true white Christmas at least once in their life. Since Valentina had loved Canada so much when she went there to tour colleges with Eva-which Juliana couldn’t believe was so long ago now-they had talked about having Christmas there one year. Of course, as their family continued growing, they ended up spending several Christmases up north until finally the Carvajal siblings went in together on a massive cabin for them to visit whenever they wanted. They hadn’t had a Christmas in Mexico since Leo was six years old. 

Now, it was time to plan the trip again but Juliana hesitated buying the tickets. Valentina had slowly grown more comfortable flying over the years but she also hadn’t had a set back like this before. Juliana didn’t want to assume that her wife was up for their annual trip just because she was feeling better now. If Valentina wanted to stay home, for any reason at all, Juliana would agree. 

“Are we flying business class this time?” Valentina’s voice sounded only a moment before her hands covered Juliana’s where they rested against the desk. She was amused, Juliana could tell. Perhaps it was selfish of them but well, they had the means and Valentina always fared better in first class. 

“Maybe we should make Leo fly business class,” Juliana replied, sliding her hand out from underneath Valentina’s and caressing up her arm as she turned to look at her wife. “Actually, I was wondering if you still wanted to go this year.” 

“I’ve been thinking about it too,” Valentina leaned her head down to press a brief kiss against Juliana’s lips in silent thanks for the way Juliana never forgot to consider Valentina’s emotional state. “I think I’ll be okay, as long as we don’t fly over water.” 

“Are you sure?” Juliana asked, rubbing Valentina’s arms when they came to encircle her shoulders. “We can have Christmas here this year.” 

“I know, but I love Christmas up north, the snow, playing with the kids,” Valentina smiled down at her wife. “Extra cuddles because you can never get warm.” 

Juliana hummed, tilting her head to kiss her wife again, longer and deep this time. They were both fully aware that Juliana didn’t have to cuddle with Valentina for warmth as much as she did, in Canada for Christmas or anywhere else for that matter, but neither of them thought to comment on that. It’s not like Valentina was going to say no to an opportunity to hold her wife close, especially when clothing was optional. 

“So we’re going?” Juliana asked, just to be sure. 

“We’re going,” Valentina confirmed easily. “We’ll have to make sure the kids' winter gear still fits them. I swear Leo’s grown half a foot since the summer.” 

Juliana laughed her agreement and bought the tickets. 

The kids were fairly well behaved on the plane, of course it helped that Diego and Isabella slept most of the way while Leo and Maria entertained themselves on their own phone or tablet. Curiously, Marai would get a notification sometimes and Juliana could see her cheeks darken ever so slightly. A look at Leo confirmed that he saw it too, he was sitting next to his sister after all, and that Maria would be adequately teased about her crush when the time came. Of course, she’d tease Leo right back and they’d squabble for a bit and then the whole thing would be forgotten until the next time one of them blushed. 

Valentina was dozing with her head on Juliana’s shoulder until just before they landed and she held Juliana’s hand tightly as the plane taxied to the boarding gate. They fell into the routine of wrangling all four of their kids easily as they made their way through customs. 

“I’m so glad we shipped all the presents up here last week,” Juliana mumbled to Valentina as they waited for their bags. “Can you imagine customs with all of that?” 

“I won’t have too,” Valetnina wrapped her arm around Juliana’s waist and squeezed gently. “We’ll find out when we go home, remember?” 

Juliana groaned quietly. “Thanks for reminding me.” 

Valentina chuckled and pressed her lips to Juliana’s temple. 

Bags claimed and the car pulled up, the Carvajal-Valdes family buckled in for the drive to their cabin. Juliana would have preferred holding Val’s hand or thigh while she drove, but the road to the cabin was winding and icy so she kept both hands on the wheel. Of course, that didn’t stop Valentina from reaching over the center console and resting her own hand on Juliana’s thigh which was just as good, if a little distracting. Juliana knew that Valentina was really back in the blue zone because of how comfortable she had become with physical touch again. Juliana shifted in her seat a bit. 

“You okay love?” Valentina asked, smiling coyly. 

“Of course,” Juliana took her hand off the wheel for a brief moment to squeeze Valentina’s fingers. “Just a little warm.” 

“I’ll say,” Valentina winked and Juliana rolled her eyes. 

“Moms, stop flirting,” Leo called from his seat in the middle row of their rental car, Diego and Isabella watching over his shoulders as he played a game on his tablet. “It’s weird.” 

“Weird?” Valentina looked over her shoulder at him. “It’s weird to know that your parents love each other.” 

“No, it’s weird to watch it,” Leo rolled his eyes as his mothers laughed. Privately, he was overjoyed to see that the light had returned to Valentina’s eyes and that she seemed like the mother he had grown up with again. Not light exactly, but not heavy either. Like the weight she carried wasn’t so unbearable anymore. The woman who smiled and loved and laughed like she treasured every moment. “At least wait until we get to the cabin.” 

“Okay, okay,” Valentina smiled at her son. “What do we want to do first? Snowball fight? S’mores?” 

“Take a nap,” Isabella said seriously. 

“You slept on the plane,” Diego pointed out, leaning around Leo to look at his younger sister. 

“So did you,” Maria sat up from where she had been lounging in the back row of seats and leaned forward to talk to her siblings. “And so did Ma.” 

“But you and Mom and Leo didn’t,” Isabella pointed at each family member in turn. 

“That doesn’t mean we all need to nap,” Leo said with a laugh. As Isabella entered the playful argument her brother had set up, Valentina dropped her voice to a whisper. 

“I could use a nap,” She winked again when her wife looked over at her. 

“Not that we would actually sleep,” Juliana replied just as softly. Valentina smiled at her. 

“Promises, promises.” 

Juliana’s laughter prompted their children to ask what was so funny, and Leo rolled his eyes when neither of his mom’s had a good excuse. 

The family of six had the cabin to themselves for four days before the rest of their family joined them up north and they spent an enjoyable two weeks playing in the snow, making Christmas cookies and having all kinds of fun. Once the older Carvajal siblings arrived with their own wives, there was plenty of teasing to go around. Juliana and Valentina were almost always cuddled up together but Eva and Lucia, and Guille and Renata weren’t any better. 

Juliana supposes she should be thankful that the teasing was actually kept to a minimum this year, their family knew better than to walk on eggshells around Valentina anymore but they were all so happy to have her with them, really with them, that they couldn’t keep up the teasing for long. Joyful smiles always took over the playful ones. 

Christmas and New Year’s passed with cheerful smiles and late nights spent celebrating the end of the holidays together. The carefully popped fireworks over the frozen lake when the clock struck 12, the adults kissing sweetly under the glow and ignoring the teasing remarks from the older children. 

Later, once the children were in their own rooms for the night and the adults had dispersed to do whatever they please, Valentina and Juliana lay tangled together in bed. They were wrapped one another, heated bodies pressed together comfortably. Valentina trailed her fingers across Juliana’s arm lightly, humming under her breath. 

“What’re you thinking about?” Juliana asked softly after pressing a kiss to her wife’s shoulder. 

“You,” Valentina answered, her voice just as low. “And how lucky I am to have you in my life.” 

“You are pretty lucky,” Juliana chuckled and kissed Valentina’s shoulder again. Valentina smiled, lightly scratching Julianan’s back. 

“I’m serious,” she said. Juliana lifted herself up slightly to look her wife in the eyes. “If you hadn’t taken me back. If you’d given up on me, I don’t know where I would be now.” 

“Oh, Val,” Juliana shifted, straddling Valentina’s hips and caressing her face gently. “I could never give up on you. Even when I thought you were gone,” Juliana shook her head slightly, using the feeling of Valentina’s body beneath hers and the hands resting against her hips to ground herself, “Even when I had no reason to hope you would come back, I couldn’t give you up. I’ve loved you since the day we met and I love you more each day. I didn’t have to take you back, I’d never let you go.” 

“Juls,” Valentina barely managed to say the name through the emotion stuck in her throat and leaned up instead to connect their lips. Juliana shifted her weight a bit as Valentina sat up beneath her, pulling their bodies flush together. Valentina shuddered slightly as Juliana ran her short nails down her back, stopping just shy of going over her scars. When they pulled away, breathless, there was only one thing Valentina could think to say. “Marry me.” 

“What?” Juliana was smiling widely, her eyes wide in surprise. 

“Marry me,” Valentina repeated. 

“Didn’t we already do that?” Juliana’s fingers played with the loose curls on the nape of Valentina’s neck. 

“Yes, but there’s no reason we can’t do it again. It’s our twentieth wedding anniversary this year and I think we should do something special,” Valentina smiled up at her wife. “I love you more than anything, I want to celebrate our love. Again.” 

“Even if your sister drives you crazy with planning and it turns into a media circus?” Juliana teased. Valentina laughed and nodded. 

“Even then,” Valentina smiled at her wife and leaned up to kiss her. “So, Juliana Carvajal-Valdes, will you marry me again?” 

“Of course I will,” Juliana whispered, leaning her forehead against Valentina’s with the softest smile gracing her lips. “I love you.” 

“I love you,” Valentina closed the space between their lips again and then proceeded to once again show her wife exactly how much she loved her. 

~

It didn’t take long for the media to catch wind of Mexico’s Fashion Power Couple impending vow renewal and soon after the articles started appearing. Most of them were congratulating the couple on both the upcoming ceremony and celebrating twenty years of marriage. Of course, there were a few that spun rumors of them doing this in an attempt to ‘save their failing marriage’ but no one with eyes believed them. Juliana and Valentina had always been visibly in love, a quality which, if anything, had only gotten stronger as the years passed. 

Eva had launched into planning mode almost as soon as they returned to Mexico after Christmas despite the fact that the vowel renewal wouldn’t be happening until the middle of June, on Val and Juls’ anniversary. Valentina attempted to hold her sister back, much to the amusement of Juliana and Lucia, until she eventually realized it was pointless and let her sister plan to her heart’s content. She and Juls had final say on everything anyway so if there was something they didn’t like, they could just veto it. 

“Why don’t we take a break from wedding planning,” Lucia told her wife one Friday evening in late February, wrapping her arms around Eva’s shoulders from where she stood behind her at Valentina and Juliana’s dining room table. “And work on planning the boy’s birthdays?” 

“Yes,” Eva said, resting her hand on Lucia’s arm. “I think we can manage that.” 

By coincidence, Leo and Mattias had birthdays only one day apart. Valentina and Lucia had thought it was the most incredible thing ever when they found out Mattias’ birthday date just before they adopted him. He was only a few months old at the time, his birth mother had been a young woman who’d died during childbirth due to unforeseen complications. The doctor’s had said it was a miracle that Mattias had survived birth but Eva and Lucia seemed to take it as a sign of the baby’s inner strength. He and Leo had been as close as brothers since the day they met, playing together in what had then been Juliana and Valentina's new house. The fact that Valentina’s pregnancy with Leo had been somewhat high-risk and she’d gone into labor early proved that all Carvajal children, whether born directly into the name or adopted, possessed amazing inner strength. That trend rang true for each new addition to their family. 

The large family usually had a shared dinner to celebrate both boys on the day between their birthdays until the boys were 14 and decided that they’d rather have one big party. This year was no different except for the way Leo suddenly looked very obviously at everything except a boy who had just walked in. Mattias was smirking at his cousin as he loudly called the other boy over to them for a greeting. 

“Look,” Valentina said to Juliana, stepping up behind her at the punch bowl and pointing to where their son was making awkward conversation with the other boy now that Mattias had left them alone. “Someone has a crush.” 

“Who’s that boy?” Juliana asked curiously, leaning back against her wife as she sipped her drink. “He looks familiar.” 

“I think he plays football with Leo but I can’t remember his name.” Valentina shrugged slightly. “He’ll tell us when there’s something to tell.” 

“Think we should ask him if he needs a plus one for the wedding?” Juliana tracked her oldest son's movement across the room towards where the dancefloor was situated. 

“Not tonight, it’s his birthday party. We can embarrass him tomorrow,” Valentina pressed a kiss against her wife’s hair and then released her wife to go mingle around the room. Juliana lingered by the punch bowl for a moment, watching her son dance with the boy. Mattias caught his aunt’s eye from across the room and gave her a thumbs up. Juliana smiled and returned the gesture, feeling like her son’s encounter with the boy he liked had been set up courtesy of his cousin. Smiling to herself, Juliana left the snack table and joined her wife mingling with the adult guests. 

After Leo’s birthday came Diego’s, then Isabella’s, both with parties of their own interspersed with wedding planning. Juliana soon found herself doodling wedding outfits when she was supposed to be working on her new summer line, and then working with one of her designer friends who specialized in wedding fashion to create an outfit for her wife. They’d decided to go with suits rather than dresses this time around and because Juliana had her wife’s measurements remembered, she could surprise Valentina with the almost complete suit just after school released in mid-May. 

“Juls, this is amazing,” Valentina said, admiring the white suit she wore in the mirror. Juliana had designed a strapless top for her that covered her scars but left her shoulders exposed. Her pants were high waisted and comfortable, making her legs look even longer especially when she had heels on. The jacket was designed to be left unbuttoned and rested easily on Valentina’s shoulders. 

“I’m glad you like it,” Juliana was dressed in her own suit, minus the jacket, admiring her wife through the mirrors. 

“Of course I do,” Valentina turned towards her wife, her jaw dropping when she caught sight of her. Juliana smiled. “I like that even more.” 

Juliana laughed as she walked towards her wife. Juliana’s outfit differed in one way, her top. Juliana had opted for an elegant button down made of a soft material Valentina could probably identify if she thought about it hard enough. The neckline was low cut since Juliana had left several buttons undone, exposing just the slightest bit of cleavage. 

“You look amazing,” Valentina said as she brought her wife into her arms with a gleam in her eyes that Juliana knew meant she was dying to rip the outfit off of Juliana and would only be refraining from doing that because they were at Juliana’s studio rather than at home. 

“Look who’s talking,” Juliana smiled, pressing a kiss against Valentina’s lips. “The wedding’s only a few weeks away, how do you feel?” 

“Excited, mostly,” Valentina turned around and silently asked Juliana to undo the zipper on her top once she removed the jacket. “Still sort of surprised you agreed to do this again.” 

“Why surprised?” Juliana stepped closer to her wife, slipping her arms around Valentina’s waist. “Have you been feeling red lately?” 

“No, not at all,” Valentina covered Juliana’s hands with her own. “I can’t really explain it. It’s not red or blue anymore,” Valentina shook her head slightly. “I’m just me, and even after all this time, sometimes I can’t help being surprised that you’re really here. Some days I wake up and this all feels like a dream, most days I wake up knowing that it is a dream. A dream come true.” 

“The best dream,” Juliana confirmed, thinking back to the days when she woke up to an empty bed and an empty heart. This was better than any dream she had had back then. “I can’t wait to marry you again.” 

“Me either,” Valentina turned in the circle of Juliana’s arms and pressed a short kiss against her lips. Then, they stood there holding one another until Juliana’s assistant returned from lunch and reminded them that Juliana had a meeting and Valentina was supposed to meet her sister for lunch. 

“I’ll see you at home my love,” Juliana said once Valentina was back into her regular clothes and had come over to kiss Juliana goodbye. 

“Bye chiquita, I love you,” Valentina kissed Juliana’s cheek and then slipped out of the studio. 

“You two are like, ridiculously in love,” Juliana’s assistant noted, watching Juliana smile dumbly as her wife left. 

“Yeah,” Juliana agreed, shaking herself out of it a moment later and found her assistant watching her in amusement. “Remind me what this meeting is about again?” 

~

June was upon them faster than anyone realized and the night before their second wedding found Juliana and Valentina doing the same thing they had been doing on that night twenty years ago. Star gazing. 

This time they were in their own backyard and had been joined by all four of their children until just a little while ago when they had gone inside one by one to get some sleep. They were almost more excited for the wedding than their moms were since they hadn’t been at the first one. There was still music playing softly through the sound system that neither woman bothered to turn off. 

“Ready for tomorrow?” Juliana asked softly, playing with Valentina’s hair. 

“Am I ready to see you in that sexy tux again? Definitely,” Valentina laughed. “But yes, I’m more excited than ever.” 

“Me too,” Juliana admitted. She was honestly surprised that she was so excited to marry her wife again but she honestly couldn’t wait. She’d never been particularly shy about hiding her love for Valentina from the world but there was something infinitely more special in doing so for the second time around, certain that the love she had for her wife had only grown. “And I can’t wait to get my wedding ring back.” 

“Oh, God, me too,” Valentina wiggled the fingers on her left hand, feeling naked without the weight of her ring. They had sent their rings to the jewler to get engraved with the word ‘mi amor’ on Valentina’s and ‘mi chiquita’ on Juliana’s and wouldn’t be getting them back until the ceremony. Neither of them had gone without wearing their rings in twenty years, except for a brief week-long period a year after their wedding, when Valentina was still rising as a model and had gotten Juliana’s initial tattooed on her finger in case there was ever a show where she couldn’t wear her ring. That way, she’d always have Juliana with her. Juliana was a little more nervous than Valentina had been, but she’d done the same a few weeks after Valentina's had healed. 

“We should get some sleep,” Juliana said a few moments later, her lips against Valentina’s forehead. 

“Wait,” Valentina stood from the hammock and held out her hand to Juliana. “Dance with me first?” 

Juliana smiled and accepted Valentina’s hand, letting herself be pulled to her feet. Valentina took a moment to make sure the music would keep playing slow songs and then pulled her wife close. 

“Remember when you taught me how to dance in the park?” Valentina asked after a few moments of swaying under the stars. “We weren’t even together yet.” 

“And I was already in love with you,” Juliana turned her head slightly to press a kiss against Valentina’s neck. 

“And then a few weeks later, we started dating because your mom called me your girlfriend and you didn’t correct her,” Valentina giggled into Juliana’s ear. 

“That was easier than trying to work up the courage to ask you out,” Juliana joked, lifting her head from Valentina’s shoulder. Valentina lifted one hand and caressed Juliana’s face, thumb tracing over the faint scar on her cheek. 

“It all worked out in the end right?” Valentina said softly. Juliana nodded her agreement and kissed her wife gently. 

“Better than I could have ever imagined.” 

They stayed dancing under the stars for a little while longer and then retreated upstairs to their room together. They slept wrapped securely in one another’s arms and dreamt of treasured memories of the life they lived together and joyful hopes for the memories they’d make in the future. 

By the time they woke up, their backyard had been transformed into a perfect wedding destination. A tent had been placed near the back where Guille and Renata were currently decorating the chairs while Eva and Lucia made an aisle out of red and blue rose petals leading up to the altar. All of the children were in the den entertaining themselves with games until it was time for them to get dressed. Guests wouldn’t be arriving until shortly before the ceremony, the few non-family guests that had been invited anyway. 

Once they noticed Juliana and Valentina were awake, Eva and Lucia forced them into separate rooms to get dressed before the photographer showed up, a woman named Kim that Valentina had met as a model, and Kim’s wife Trini who acted as her assistant. Despite having seen one another in their respective outfits before, Juliana and Valentina were still starstruck when they reunited again in front of the camera so that the first photo of the day was one of the two brides smiling dumbly at one another, eyes full of love. 

Several photos later, in many combinations of children, adults, siblings, cousins, and so on, Juliana and Valentina were ushered into their own foyer to wait for their cue as the guests were instructed to take their seats. They had their four children with them, who would be walking down the aisle before their mothers. Leo was escorting Maria (though he had invited a friend of his who his mother’s were suspecting would soon become more than a friend-turns out his name is Tony) and Diego and Isabella would walk down together as ring bearer and flower girl respectively. 

“You both look amazing,” Leo said to his mothers, not for the first time that day. 

“I hope I find someone who loves me like you two love each other,” Maria echoed, again not for the first time. Maria was young, she’d be fourteen in two weeks, and full of romantic ideals that Juliana and Valentina hoped the world would never destroy for her. 

“You will,” Valentina told her. “Probably when you least expect it.” 

“Is that what happened to you?” Diego asked, fidgeting with the bow tie around his neck. Juliana squatted down to straighten it for him. 

“It is,” she confirmed, “I met a girl crying in a park and she turned out to be the love of my life.” 

“And I’ve loved her every day since.” Valentina said from where she knelt next to Isabella to adjust the ribbon tied around her waist. “Just like I love all of you.” 

“We love you too,” Leo said, pulling both of his mothers into a hug once they were standing up again. Maria and Isabella soon joined followed by Diego who tried to act like he didn’t want to for only a moment before hugging back in earnest. They pulled back when Valentina heard the music begin. 

“That’s our cue,” she said, slipping her hand into her wife’s. “Bella, Diego, you go first.” 

Their two youngest kids walked down the flower-petal aisle, followed by the two oldest and then the music changed again. As the guests climbed to their feet, Valentina squeezed Juliana’s hand. 

“Last chance to back out,” she said softly. 

“No way,” Juliana squeezed her hand back. “You’re stuck with me for at least another thirty years. Probably more than that.” 

“Perfect,” Valentina smiled. 

They walked out hand in hand, easily falling into step with one another as they made their way down the aisle. They stood in front of the same officiant as they had twenty years ago-Juliana had no idea how Eva pulled that one off-and once again promised to love, cherish, and protect one another for as long as they both shall live. They refrained from writing their own vows, preferring to keep those long declarations of love private, and both breathed a sigh of relief as their wedding rings were placed back on their fingers. 

“By the power vested in me, I pronounce you married. You may kiss your bride,” the officiant chuckled. “Again.” 

They kissed to the cheers of their family and friends and parted to find Eva and Lucia smiling at them with tears in their eyes, Guille openly crying just as he had done at their first wedding, Leo pretending like he wasn’t crying, and Maria joyfully poking fun at her brother. Kim had plenty of photo ops as their kids swarmed Juliana and Valentina at the altar, hugging them both with loud proclamations of congratulations as Isabella threw the rest of the flower petals in her basket in the air. 

Once they made their way back down the aisle into the house to touch up their makeup, because of course they cried a little, the area beneath the tent was transformed for the reception and Juliana and Valentina were once again introduced as Mrs. and Mrs. Carvajal-Valdes. 

The party was in full swing in what felt like no time. 

Valentina and Juliana were swaying together on the dance floor, watching their family for a moment. Leo was leading his date Tony through a simple dance on one corner of the floor under the watchful eye of Mattias and Maria. Isabella was being twirled in her uncle Guille’s arms while Renata played tic-tac-toe with Diego and the twins at their table. Eva and Lucia were dancing together, occasionally sharing kisses that were probably better suited for behind closed doors, but no one was brave enough to go tell either one of them that. Juliana rested her head against her wife’s, humming along to the music with her eyes closed as they danced. 

“What are you thinking about?” Valentina asked softly, her lips brushing against Juliana’s ear with every word. 

“How lucky we are to have this life,” Juliana responded. “How lucky I am to have you to share it with.” 

“It’s funny, but I don’t think luck had anything to do with it,” Valentina commented. “After everything we’ve been through, all the time we lost and the war we fought, all the scars we carry, it feels like more than luck. We’ve earned all the time we’ve had together. We earned this life.” 

“I think you’re right,” Juliana said, lifting her head up. “I can’t thank you enough for fighting for this life with me.” 

“You don’t have to thank me,” Valentina told her, even if she felt like she should be the one thanking Juliana. “It’s like you’ve told me time and time again. Giving up on us, on you, that was never an option.” 

Juliana kissed her wife then, oblivious to the applause that the action had brought up, sliding her hands into Valentina’s hair and holding her close. Valentina responded eagerly yet softly, gripping Juliana’s waist as they lingered against one another, breathing the other in. 

“I love you,” Valentina whispered. “Mi chiquita, always.” 

“Mi amor,” Juliana whispered back. “I love you, too. I always have and I always will.” 

No one commented when Valentina and Juliana snuck out of their own party early, not even their children. If anyone deserved a night of bliss with one another, it was Juliana and Valentina. After all, they were right. 

They had earned every moment of this beautiful life.