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Blaine tried not to let the nerves get to his head. He could do this. It was just an audition, and not even for a play, just for NYU’s hyper competitive acapella choir. Still, though, as he watched the next contestant walk backstage, a guy built like a bodybuilder, close to actual tears, Blaine felt another flash of insecurity.
He pushed it down. He would not give up now. ConChords had a tradition and history going back even farther than the Warblers, and their reputation was excellent. It would be just the thing he needed to cement how much of a new beginning NYU would be for him.
He wasn’t completely happy with all his decisions in the last few years. Transferring to McKinley for a relationship, cheating on his boyfriend over feeling ignored, still following Kurt to NYADA on the faint hope that they might get back together – a hope that had held up until just after New Years’ in his freshman year, when Kurt started to date the leader of NYADA’s acapella choir, after what he later learned was almost a year of Adam signaling interest.
Still, Blaine had struggled through one year at NYADA, ignoring his ex and his new relationship, trying to navigate a school full of cliques, confusing loyalties and cliques, favoritism and insane requirements, and finally, he had realized he was done being miserable and left.
His first two weeks at NYU had been challenging, but already he felt so much more at home than he ever had at NYADA. Most importantly, here he could be his own person. People at NYU didn’t see him as a friend of Rachel Berry, or Kurt’s ex-boyfriend. He already started a few extracurriculars, but once he heard of ConChords, he’d decided this was what he needed. He’d loved performing acapella with the Warblers. At NYADA, it hadn’t been an option, obviously, but now that he was at NYU, he considered returning to his performative roots.
The next contestant came back looking glum, and Blaine started to wonder if this was really such a good idea.
He had been warned, of course. Kurt’s friend Elliot went to NYU and had some stories about ConChords, especially the newly-minted co-captain. Apparently, that guy was the one really in charge, just a sophomore but vicious in a way that sounded a lot like Santana. Supposedly, he made three people cry the year before when they decided on solos for a competition.
Still, Blaine refused to be intimidated. He’d survived being a cheerio under Sue Sylvester. This guy would have nothing on her.
The next contestant was sent back already, and Blaine would worry more, but now he was up. So he put on his best show-face and stepped out on the stage.
It took him a moment to find his bearings. The spotlights were so bright that he could barely make out the people in the audience, not even the captain and his little two-person audition committee. He wondered which of the silhouettes would be the supposedly vicious co-captain, but shrugged the thought off. It didn’t matter. If there was one thing he had confidence in, it was his ability as a performer.
“I’m Blaine Anderson, I’ll be singing Something Coming from West Side Story.”
It was a safe option, a fall back he’d decided to keep ever since his junior year. Tony was his comfort role, one where he’d always be able to find himself. And he hoped it showed to his audience.
When he was done – and yes, he did notice that his performance was already longer than some of the other contestants’ whole stint including judgement – he stood in the middle of the stage, the lights burning into his eyes, trying to catch his breath. For a moment that felt like an eternity, he heard nothing but the pounding of his pulse and his own heavy breathing. He still couldn’t see the committee over the spotlight. It hadn’t been his absolute best performance, but he had a good feeling. Right notes, right emotion, right moves… really, half of his performances at NYADA had been worse than this, and that just might be a part why he was glad to have left the school.
“Well, that was… impressive,” the captain said.
Blaine felt the corners of his mouth twitch up in a grin.
“Any practice at harmonizing?” another member of the group asked, her voice ringing through the auditorium.
“I actually do,” Blaine said. “In high school I was part of an acapella choir.”
She sighed audibly. “Another one,” she muttered. “What choir? Would we have heard of them?”
“Uh, I’m not sure,” Blaine said. “It was a private school in Westerville, Ohio. Dalton Academy.”
“A Warbler?” the captain asked. “Huh. Didn’t see that one coming. Did you?”
A non-commital hum from what had to be the vicious co-captain he still couldn’t see.
“Um, sorry, could you tone down the spotlights?” he asked.
An apology, and the blinding light was taken out of his eyes. For a moment, there were dark spots in front of his sight, but he was relieved already.
“Well, I think I’ve made up my mind,” the captain said. “Or do you guys have another question? Or… any input?” That, too, was spoken to the third member of the group.
“One question,” he said eventually.
Blaine closed his eyes, waiting, trying to steel himself for whatever acid would come.
“Are you a freshman?”
He frowned, blinked, because… well, wasn’t it obvious? He opened his mouth already, when his eyes fell on the person speaking, pretty much the same second he recognized the voice.
“Sebastian?”
And there he was, leaning back into the chair, a wide grin on his face. “Hey, killer.”
“So… you have on opinion?” the captain asked, starting to frown.
“Oh, sure,” Sebastian said with a shrug. “He’s in or I’m out.”
The captain turned back, clearly rolling his eyes. “Jo?”
“Fine by me,” the girl said.
“Unanimous, then. Blaine Anderson, welcome to ConChords.”
Blaine found himself grinning, and as he looked down for just a moment, he caught Sebastian’s eye, subtly roaming over his form.
A blush formed on his face as he turned to leave the stage.
Okay, this would be interesting.
ConChords was certainly an experience. The rehearsals were grueling, every note had to come out perfectly, and the choreography was more challenging than anything the Warblers had pulled off when Blaine was still on the team. Clay might be the captain, but that was in name only. It took less than a week to realize that Sebastian was really pulling the strings here. Clay seemed content to bask in his title while letting Sebastian do all the actual work. The team seemed to be fine with it, and it was obvious to see why. Sebastian definitely knew what he was doing.
“Clay is a legacy,” Sebastian explained when asked. They were hanging out at his apartment that he shared with one of his fellow journalism students. As much as Blaine enjoyed coffee shops, his wallet wasn’t complaining about taking some of the coffee breaks for free.
“He’s a lazy jerk,” Sebastian continued, “but both his parents were in ConChords and if he didn’t at least look like he cares, there’d be hell to pay. Or, you know, no payment coming in. And it’s not like I have reason to complain. Being co-captain and leading things puts me on the fast track for nominal leadership.”
It was easy falling back into their old friendship. Even back in high school, there had been a connection between them from the start, before everything that went down with regionals, that slushie… Of course, back then it had been… not quite forbidden, but definitely discouraged. Now?
He could spend hours talking to Sebastian, hear stories about his first year at NYU, share himself the madness of NYADA. They discussed political issues, pop culture, plans for ConChords… Everything, really, except their friendship, past or present.
It wasn’t everything, even if his re-discovered friendship with Sebastian was quickly becoming a highlight of his first year at NYU. Really, though, the whole year shaped up to be exceptional. He loved his classes, his extracurriculars, loved expanding his social circle beyond the people from his old glee club. Even living in the dorms was better than expected. He knew dorms from Dalton, so he came prepared. But compared to last year, they actually felt like liberation. He still didn’t know how he lived through a whole year in that awful wall-less thing Rachel and Kurt called a home.
It was in the past though. This was shaping up to be his year. Finally, it felt like he really arrived in New York, and all the excitement he’d expected to feel a year ago – buried under complicated living conditions and trying to deal with unrequited feelings – could emerge at last.
It wasn’t about Sebastian. But damn, did he play an important part in it. It didn’t help that he if anything had gotten even more gorgeous. Blaine hadn’t paid explicit attention to Sebastian’s looks back in high school – at least he hadn’t allowed himself to dwell on it – but the last year definitely had been kind to him. His hair was shorter than the last time they met, his shoulders just a bit wider. Once, Blaine picked him up from Lacrosse practice, and damn, was he happy that he had a few minutes to collect himself before Sebastian spotted him. There’d been a knowing smirk, but Blaine wasn’t quite sure if that wasn’t just Sebastian’s usual flirty attitude.
And yes, that also came back in full force. Sebastian had too-casually asked about his friends from New Directions, and Blaine had just as obviously mentioned Adam, a confirmation that he and Kurt were definitely over. There had been a gleam in Sebastian’s eyes and no further discussion, but from then on, the flirting definitely picked up.
Not that Blaine was complaining.
So maybe he spent less time with his old friends, and maybe Rachel cornered him at some point, trying to be very understanding, asking if that had anything to do with Adam’s increased presence, to which Blaine had to pretend like he’d even noticed – fortunately, Sebastian had texted him to go over competition playlists and he’d been able to cut the conversation short.
Either way, Blaine was pretty happy with how his life was going. And if it meant invitations to house parties that the NYADA crowd would not have been invited to – well, he wasn’t complaining.
The music was loud, and the furniture in Clay’s living room had been pushed aside to open an impromptu dance floor. A lot of people from ConChords were here, but there were many more people. The party was well on his way, and he wasn’t quite sure how many drinks he had, but he knew he was definitely not too aware of the fact that he hadn’t seen Sebastian yet. It was fine, though. He’d integrated into ConChords pretty well, and actually enjoyed hanging out with them. He was just chatting with Jo, when he felt someone step beside him, an arm sliding over his back and resting at his hip. Smiling, he turned to his side, looking up at Sebastian.
“Well, you took your time,” he said, just a hint of teasing in his voice.
“Like I’d miss you in those pants,” Sebastian said.
“Get a room,” Jo giggled.
Blaine rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help smiling. Sebastian quickly integrated into their conversation, never moving his hand. He was relaxed, the drink in his hand clearly not the first. Blaine found himself watching him, as the conversation continued. There was still that sharp rhetoric, probably ingrained too far in Sebastian’s bones to be dulled by a few drinks. The spark in his eyes still was there, even if everything about him seemed softer. He was kind of beautiful like this, more approachable. Blaine was very aware of the weight of Sebastian’s hands on his body. He smiled, letting his head rest against Sebastian’s shoulder.
“Seriously, though, get a room already,” Jo said.
Blaine turned, a bit confused. He must have lost the thread of the conversation at some point. He looked up at Sebastian, who was smirking at him, with that mischievous spark in his eyes. He clearly had no intention of bringing Blaine up to speed on what he missed.
“Your glass is empty,” Sebastian said eventually, taking pity on him. “Let’s fix that.”
Blaine waved to Jo, and followed him down to the kitchen. It was obvious that Sebastian knew his way around here, opening cabinets and taking out a glass for himself before reaching for Blaine’s.
Blaine leaned against one of the counters, closing his eyes. It was actually nice, to step away from the sound for a bit. Even if it meant being alone with Sebastian in a small room. Maybe because of it.
He tried to figure out just how drunk he was. Definitely tipsy, although it wasn’t too bad. Probably. He just wondered whether it was such a good idea to drink more right now, or if he maybe should take a break, when he felt Sebastian’s hand on his arm.
“Are you okay?”
Blaine nodded, opening his eyes. Sebastian offered him a glass, a clear colorless liquid inside matching what he had himself. Blaine took it, thanking him. He couldn’t help but frown, wondering what it was. Vodka, maybe? Gin? Either way, probably a bit strong to be served like water…
He took a sip.
It was water.
Sebastian chuckled, as if his confusion was really that obvious. “You seemed really out of it for a moment, looked like you might need a break.”
Blaine bit his lip, as he looked down. He could feel the blush forming on his face. “That obvious?”
“I mean… you’re not that hard to read,” Sebastian said, shrugging.
Strange then, that nobody else seemed to be able to. Or maybe nobody else bothered to. Instead of answering, Blaine took another gulp of water. It was cool, soothing, and slightly lifted the haze of alcohol on his mind. When he looked up again, Sebastian was still looking at him. Strangely, he looked happy.
“You know… you’re really looking good. I don’t think I told you yet,” Sebastian said.
Blaine chuckled. “You have. A lot.”
Sebastian shook his head. “Not like that. I mean, you do. Like… you really do. But that’s not what I meant.”
Blaine frowned. “What do you mean?”
Sebastian hesitated for a moment, before he continued. “This is going to sound a bit… stalkerish. But, I saw you. At NYU. When you visited, I guess to check out the school?”
Blaine thought back. He didn’t remember seeing Sebastian that day. But he remembered how he felt. He hadn’t really thought he’d have a shot at being accepted, not when NYADA had been beating him down so hard. Still, there had been something about the school that had given him hope.
He bit his lip, refusing to fall back into those feelings of inadequacies. He’d moved on from that, literally.
“It wasn’t my best day,” he admitted.
“I wasn’t sure it was you at first,” Sebastian said. “You looked… down. It reminded me of when you came back to Dalton, when Hunter stole your trophy. You just looked… not okay. Not like yourself. But then you showed up at NYU, and it’s like every day, you’re becoming… more. Like you’re you again.” He shrugs, a self-deprecating smile on his face. “It’s a really good look.”
Blaine stared at him, and for a second, everything seemed to stand still around them. The music, the voices, all seemed far away. And there was Sebastian, the deep green of his eyes, freckles, the curve of his smile.
Gravity, he’d call it later. Just gravity that pulled him forward, to the tip of his toes, and to kiss that smile.
Sebastian froze under his touch, for once surprised, before he finally got with the program, and he started kissing back. As Blaine put his arms around the other boy, one of Sebastian’s hands sneaked into his hair, grabbing into the barely contained curls, making Blaine gasp. He pulled back, just for a moment, to get some air, and Sebastian pushed him back against the counter. When Blaine looked up, he could see Sebastian’s eyes on him, wanting, hungry, a thin circle of green around his pupils, and there was nothing else he could do but pull him into another kiss.
A burst of laughter interrupted them. Blaine glared to the side, where Jo had just walked into the kitchen.
“When I said ‘get a room’, I didn’t mean the kitchen.” She winked at them, walked past them to the fridge, took a bottle of beer and left the kitchen again.
Blaine turned back to Sebastian, his hair mussed, his cheeks flushed, but most importantly, looking just so damn happy.
“You know,” Sebastian said, raising his eyebrows, “there’s a room at my place.”
Blaine laughed. “That’s the lamest line ever,” he said.
Sebastian chuckled. “I didn’t hear a no,” he said, his voice a slight drawl.
“There was none,” Blaine replied, his smile so wide it almost hurt. “So… you want to get out of here?”
Instead of answering, Sebastian pulled him into another kiss.
It wasn’t far to Sebastian’s apartment, but as they walked, Blaine wondered when he’d lose his nerve. This wasn’t like him, to start making out with someone at a party, much less leave to hook up. He probably should be freaking out. But every time he even thought of that, there was a point of contact, a touch, and a shock of electricity running through him. No, he wasn’t freaking out. But wow, did he want this.
Besides, this wasn’t some random person. It was Sebastian, and really, he could have seen this coming from the moment the question “Are you a freshman” passed Sebastian’s lips. Scratch that, from the moment the words passed his own lips.
The apartment was empty – his roommate again spending the weekend at her boyfriend’s place. But something between them seemed to slow down as they walked inside, kicking off their shoes. Strange, Blaine had really expected that the usual procedure would be to be all over each other the second the door closed. Instead, Sebastian was looking at him with a strange hesitance. Almost like he also expected Blaine to freak out.
“So,” Blaine said, his eyes never leaving Sebastian, even as he put up a faux-innocent smile, “you wanna watch a movie or something?”
It was glorious, hilarious, the way Sebastian’s face fell, his mouth opening as if to protest, incredulity, and frustration, and among it all that expression as if he’d told a child there would be no ice-cream, like seriously?, and Blaine managed to hold his poker face for all of three seconds before he burst out laughing, pulled Sebastian closer and kissed that expression off his face.
“Let’s move this to your room, okay?”
When Blaine woke, it was in an unfamiliar room, sunlight streaming through the windows, and with a warm body pressed against his back. The events of last night filtered through his brain, and he found himself holding onto the arm Sebastian had slung over his side.
So, that happened.
He kept his eyes closed and let his mind wander. For a bit, he found himself wondering how he should feel about this – a party hook-up, and with Sebastian of all people… He discarded the train of thought though, forgot about “should”, and tried to figure out just how he did feel.
Honestly, he felt pretty happy with himself. Relaxed, warm…
And about Sebastian?
Well, not like that hadn’t been coming for a long time. He sighed, pushing back just a bit further into the loose embrace. Sebastian made a noise, something like a groan, and Blaine froze. He didn’t regret last night, was pretty sure it wouldn’t pose a problem to their friendship, but he wondered. He had no experience with hook-ups, although Sebastian certainly did. Was there a protocol? Was he breaching it already by not sneaking away in the middle of the night? Was it okay to still be here in the morning? And if not, was there still a chance to sneak out? Or would Sebastian wake up in the middle, and everything would be awkward?
“Is this where you freak out?” Sebastian muttered, his breath fanning warmly over Blaine’s skin.
“Not really freaking out,” Blaine said, “just… I’m not sure about the protocol.”
A soft chuckle, and Sebastian pressed a kiss against his shoulder. “I’d say there are two options. Number one, you gather your clothes, and sneak out, and I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. We don’t text for the rest of the weekend, we see each other on Monday, it will be awkward for five minutes, and then we act like nothing happened.”
A reasonable scenario, and Blaine hated it. “What’s the other option?” he asked.
“Well, first you stop thinking so damn much. Then you close your eyes, we can doze a bit longer, and when we’re actually awake we get breakfast. There’s a French café down the line, best coffee I’ve had outside of Paris.”
Blaine felt a smile tug at the corner of his mouth, and he turned, slowly, until he could see Sebastian’s eyes. “Do they have crêpes?”
Sebastian rolled his eyes, even as he grinned. “Obviously.” He looked even better like this, with the morning sun washing over his skin, relaxed and smiling. Blaine couldn’t help but kiss him, and for once he didn’t allow himself to think if he was overstepping.
“So, that’s two?” Sebastian asked.
Blaine hummed as Sebastian pulled him closer, and rested his head on the other boy’s chest. The rest of the day, or maybe the weekend, the world could wait. If this was an option, he wouldn’t move from here for a while.
They had been waiting almost a month, but at last, Clay (or rather Sebastian) had finalized their setlist for the upcoming competition – nothing official, just a friendly inter-college acapella meet. The mail was short, to the point, and completely took Blaine off guard. Just two songs, and a bunch of sheet music, and still, it felt like lead in his stomach. He considered writing Clay, asking him what he was thinking, but he knew already who had made this decision.
And why.
He checked the time on his phone, and contemplated Sebastian’s schedule. He’d probably be at the library right now. Maybe it would be smarter to think this through, but he could feel the buzz running through his veins. No, he wouldn’t calm down until he had his answer, a confirmation of what he already knew, and maybe make Sebastian see reason. Because… he made this mistake. He knew how this would pan out.
As expected, he found Sebastian sitting in a remote corner of the library, scanning the pages of the book in front of him, as if nothing was wrong. When he heard Blaine approach, he raised a hand, motioning him to wait. A moment later, he marked the page and put it aside.
“Sorry, those run-on sentences drive me crazy. Apparently writing in a way that people can understand isn’t academic enough,” Sebastian said, rolling his eyes. “Can I help you with anything?”
“You gave me that solo.”
Sebastian’s eyebrows creased as he tilted his head. “It’s not a solo,” he said, “it’s a duet. And… yes? So?”
Blaine closed his eyes, shook his head. “Just like that?”
“What, did you want flowers?” Sebastian asked. “Look, I get it, you should have a solo. But it’s not that kind of competition. The point isn’t big show-stopping numbers, it’s to showcase the whole choir and how well the acapella works. A duet is the best I can do. One duet, one group number.”
Blaine stared at him, and it took him a moment to realize what Sebastian was talking about. “I’m not complaining about not having a solo.”
“Well, you are complaining for some reason,” Sebastian said. “And I feel like we’d make a lot more progress if you could just tell me why.”
Apparently, it wasn’t as obvious as he thought. “That duet is basically the only song where we’re showcasing people in particular. Why did you give it to me?”
From the way Sebastian was looking at him, he still didn’t get it. “Because I want to win this thing,” he said, frowning. “Seriously, are you going somewhere with this?”
“I joined this group three months ago, Sebastian. You have to see how this looks, right? There must be half a dozen people dying to sing that duet. You can’t just give it to me, just because we’re sleeping together.” Which… that was all they were doing, wasn’t it? They hadn’t talked about it during the last three weeks, it had just seemed easier to go with the flow of things, have fun and not think. Because when it came down to it, he knew they were bound to crash into a wall. Because Blaine still craved romance and a relationship, and Sebastian wasn’t one for attachments.
Sebastian was looking at him like he completely lost his mind. “That’s what this is about?” With a melodramatic sigh, he pushed the book further away from him. “Come here.”
After a moment of hesitation Blaine stepped closer, leaning against the table. He scanned Sebastian’s face for any sign of derision. Instead, there was something almost akin to pity.
“Look, I don’t quite know what that hipster school for washed-out theater kids you went to has done to scramble your brain, but there are exactly two reasons I gave that duet to you instead of any other person on the team. One, you are an amazing performer, and nobody else in ConChords comes even close. Two, you and me together? We have enough chemistry to start a fire. On stage as well. So, to sum it up, I want you for the duet because that’s how we win.”
There wasn’t even a trace of doubt in Sebastian’s words, like he was explaining to Blaine that gravity was a thing.
“Besides, it’s not like I need to give you a solo to get into your pants,” Sebastian added with a wink. “Or like you’d throw a fit about not getting enough attention. It’s not like you’d dump me if I gave it to someone else.”
Laid out like that, it made a lot of sense. Maybe Blaine had jumped to conclusions just a bit too easily from his own experiences.
And, as if Sebastian had read his mind…
“This is not a Candles situation, Blaine. We’re doing this to win.”
Blaine groaned. “Who told you about that?” he asked.
“Didn’t you know? I gathered a lot of information about you when I came to Dalton. So, if you ever feel like shopping at the Gap…”
“One more word and I’ll never talk to you again,” Blaine threatened.
Sebastian laughed, and Blaine had to join in. It felt easy, joking like that, and he surprised himself by just how happy it made him. When they calmed down, Sebastian looked at him with a wistful look in his face.
“Is that what we’re doing, though?” he asked softly.
It took Blaine a moment to figure out what he meant. “Sleeping together?”
Sebastian shrugged, the gesture casual in a way that almost seemed forced. “Obviously,” he said. “It’s just…” A moment of hesitation, and then those green eyes were on him full force. “Is that all we’re doing?”
Blaine felt his pulse speed up. This was so not how he saw this conversation going when he had stormed in here. He had honestly thought he was being silly. To now realize it wasn’t just in his head… and to think just how hard it had to be for him to admit it…
“I mean… I do like you. I just kind of thought you weren’t interested in… you know. Dating.”
Sebastian’s lips jerked up into a tiny smile. “It’s not usually my thing,” he admitted. “Then again… You are pretty exceptional.”
Blaine sighed, a blush forming on his cheeks. “Sebastian…”
“You know I’m not good at this,” Sebastian said, laughing. “Fine, fine. Will you be my damn boyfriend already?”
Blaine looked down at him, that carefree happiness, beautiful, and… what more did he want?
He pulled Sebastian to his feet, and into a kiss.
“I guess I’ll give you a shot,” he said, grinning against his lips.
Yes, he thought, as Sebastian pulled him closer, down into the chair with him, and into another kiss. This was his year.