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Virgil’s head was spinning. His stomach lurched, anxiety spiking and turning his blood to fire. He wondered, distantly, if this was what it was like to give way to insanity.
He was in love.
It wasn’t at all his choice to be in such a state. He’d never wanted to fall for anyone…or at least that’s what he’d told himself. For a very long time, he’d decided that it would be the most practical to live his self-sufficiently. After all, relying on other people got messy, and Virgil wasn’t looking for a mess he’d inevitably be tasked with cleaning up. In all honesty, he didn’t believe he’d be granted the luxury to be put in such a situation, even if he wanted to.
He’d never been very good with people, enjoying the company of very few and knowing even fewer people who enjoyed his company. As far as he was concerned, Virgil simply wasn’t very enjoyable to most people, and as such, he was convinced he and love were two separate entities entirely.
That was until Roman Knightly had waltzed into his life.
In the beginning, it had felt like a bad dream where he was tortured by a man who failed to grasp the concept of personal space. His first impression of Roman was that he was loud, obnoxious, more than a little self-absorbed and a real pain in the ass, observations that all turned out to be true to some extent. With that being said, he was also very cute, and unfortunately, Virgil was very, very gay.
They’d met at a club, of all places – what the hell had Virgil Storm been doing at a club? – a fact that would forever amuse him. With how well Virgil did around people, which was to say utterly horribly, it was no surprise that he also didn’t fare well in social scenarios. Virgil wouldn’t be caught dead in a place like that – or at least, not usually. The only problem was, one of Virgil’s only real friends, Patton, had dragged him along with him.
For the life of him, Virgil would never understand how anyone as kind and sweet as Patton would put up with someone like him. He’d tried to get it through the man’s skill that there were ever so many better options for a best friend out there, but damn it, Patton stuck by him stubborn as ever, and honestly, Virgil wasn’t complaining. He loved the guy and couldn’t imagine hanging out with anyone else, despite all of the terrible puns Virgil pretended not to laugh at.
Having such a wonderful friend, however, came with some serious consequences, going out and socializing being a major one. He really hadn’t wanted to be in that club that stunk of booze and sweaty, horny people grinding against one another – which normally would’ve surely driven Patton up the wall, but he was busy flirting with some guy he’d met a while ago who happened to be there. With Patton preoccupied talking to the guy, Virgil was left on his own.
In this setting, Virgil felt more out of his element than ever. Everyone was all flirty, talking and dancing, and then there was him: standing in the corner, trying to avoid any and all attention. Unfortunately, this hasn’t worked in the least bit because before he knew it a tall, handsome guy was leaning against the wall with a positively punchable smolder on his face. And Jesus was his line cheesy! Did it hurt when he fell from Heaven? Yuck!
Virgil tried to tell the guy, Roman, to get lost but the damned smile that had stuck to his face seemed to give off the wrong impression. This Roman guy was not walking away and trying to flirt with someone else and it only heightened Virgil’s anxiety.
He didn’t know what he was doing at all, because even if he found Roman the least bit attractive – which he totally didn’t! – he didn’t know what the hell he was supposed to do. No one had really wanted to talk to him for this long, save for Patton, and he wasn’t quite sure what was supposed to happen from here. His chest was tightening, face red and hot to the touch, and, God he felt like he was going to lose consciousness or something!
The rest of the night was a hazy blur of anxiety and alcohol. He remembered Roman dragging him by the hand onto the dancefloor. He recalled wearing a stupid fucking smile on his face, and he remembered, for whatever reason, not actually wanting to go home. But the thing that was the most unbelievable was the fact that he’d gone home with Roman’s phone number, a number he’d surely be waaay too nervous to even think of using.
As it turned out, though, he’d given Roman his number as well.
From there on the two began talking on the phone, much to Virgil’s nervousness. And from there was their first date, where somehow Virgil had managed not to pass out at any point; score! Amazingly, there was a second after that, and a third, and a fourth, and a whole bunch after that. And even after all that, he’d still managed not to screw everything up.
It was a blink of an eye before the couple was living together, closer than Virgil had ever been to anyone in his life. He just…he couldn’t believe how well things had gone. Though they had arguments from time to time, it always ended in an apology and a bone-crushing hug. Nothing had gone wrong from for them, and it seemed that was what frightened him the most. Virgil was, to his utter dismay, stupidly in love.
He’d never pegged himself as the guy who got the fairytale ending. But now here he was with this great guy who he adored with his entire heart, and he didn’t know what to do. It would get ugly eventually, right? It had to; Virgil wasn’t lucky enough for anything else. Even so…Roman said he loved him constantly. He showed it too, with massively grand gestures and dinner dates and just plain human affection. Goddamn, Roman was affectionate.
Roman made him weak, and Virgil loathed his own weakness. He didn’t want to rely so heavily on someone, to need him the way he did. As much as he’d wanted to be able to be on his own, that dream couldn’t live any longer. It was no real dream, to begin with; a previous coping mechanism, but certainly not a dream. Because damn it all, he’d fallen so fucking hard for this boy and he wasn’t getting out of it any time soon. With that being said, he’d gotten some twisted insane idea stuck in his head and it was driving him insane.
He was considering proposing to Roman.
See? Crazy. But the whole ‘considering it’ thing had become a full-blown plan with a ring and memorized speech before Virgil knew what happened. He was sure that he was losing his marbles; he was actually going to go through with this.
He’d never wanted to grow so attached to someone, and despite everything, it had happened and if he could help it, he wasn’t going to let it go.
“Virgil, darling, is something the matter?” Roman asked, arching an eyebrow as he placed a hand on Virgil’s, resulting in a flinch and his heart squeezing in his chest. They sat on a blanket in the park, their picnic having been finished as the sun began to set and the sky was painted in oranges and pinks.
“No – no,” Virgil swallowed down his nerves, trying his hand at a nervous smile, “I’m fine.”
Roman titled his head in disbelief, seeing right through Virgil’s sorry attempt at playing it cool.
“Bullshit, Hot Topic. What’s really going on?” He asked, eyeing Virgil carefully. The emo shuddered under the gaze.
Now or never, Virgil. Come on, don’t chicken out now, he thought to himself, resting a hand on his hoodie pocket with a very important object stuffed inside. He took a deep, shuddery breath before grabbing Roman’s hand and lacing their fingers together, squeezing tightly. He tried to smile again, looking deeply into Roman’s eyes that narrowed in confusion.
“Ro…I…I really, really love you. L-like, a lot.”
A smile of endearment played across Roman’s face as he nodded, bringing their clasped hands to his lips and pressing a kiss to Virgil’s knuckles.
“I know, dearest,” he said, chuckling lightly, “I love you too. Like a lot,” he added. After a moment, though, he realized just how bright red Virgil’s face had become as well as the fact that he was beginning to tremble. “Virgil, are you okay? You seem nervous – I’m not making you nervous, am I?” Virgil swallowed the lump in his throat, clutching his pocket with his free hand.
“Roman, I can’t believe we’ve been together as long as we have. T-three years. Damn. That’s – that’s way longer than I thought a-anyone could put up with me,” Virgil spoke through a strained laugh, trying to remember everything he’d planned on expressing but finding himself unable, his heart pounding in his chest.
“Virgil?”
Suddenly, with a final nervous flinch, Virgil managed to knock the small black box out of his pocket which landed unceremoniously in the grass. Shiiit. Roman had seen it, there was no backing out now. Roman’s face went sheet-white, a trembling hand picking up and opening the box with slow, flickering movements. He let out a loud, squeaky gasp as he caught sight of the gold band with the red stone glimmering in the fading daylight.
“V-Virgil…?” He tried to formulate some kind of a coherent sentence as he held the box in his hand, tears already forming in his eyes as he stared incredulously at his boyfriend, his face slack with shock. Virgil swallowed, trying to regain his bearings somewhat, his shaking hand still clutching Roman’s.
“This – this was supposed to g-go a lot smoother. Fuck. I – I was supposed to k-know what to say, b-but I’m –.”
“Hey, hey, no. You’re doing so well, darling! Keep going,” Roman interrupted encouragingly in an awed voice, a watery laugh escaping his lips as he wore a smile so wide it threatened to split his face in two. Virgil nodded slowly, anxious but determined.
“R-Roman you make me so, so happy a-and even though that scares me sometimes, it’s – it’s also so nice. I don’t ever want to lose that, i-if I can help it. I didn’t ever think I was the guy who was going to find love or a h-happy ending – but then there you were. You’re my happy ending, Roman, and I love you with everything I have. So I was wondering, i-if you wanted to if you’d marry me? I’m sorry, this i-isn’t coming out ri –!”
Virgil’s rambling was promptly interrupted by Roman’s lips pressed to is with more force than necessary, pushing both of them into the grass. He felt the tension dissipate as Roman kissed him with more passion than he thought possible, his hands threading through Virgil’s faded purple hair.
“I assume I can take that as a yes?” Virgil managed to choke out when Roman pulled back, laughing boisterously, tears of mirth streaming down his face as he pressed his forehead to Virgil’s.
“Yes. Yes, of course, I’ll marry you! I love you, Virgil, darling! Oh, I love you!” He cried passionately, pressing kiss after kiss to Virgil’s face. Virgil laughed loud and hard, knowing his tears were causing his makeup to run, not that he cared.
They held tight to each other, lying in the grass after Virgil placed the ring on his boyfriend’s – scratch that, fiancé – finger, the gem sparkling.
“How dare you be the one to propose?!” Roman asked after a long moment of content silent, earning a chuckle from Virgil that rumbled with amusement, “I was planning on doing it soon! I didn’t have the ring yet – but I was going to!” Roman exclaimed, laying against his fiancé’s chest with his arms looped around his waist. Virgil exhaled deeply, a smile etched onto his face he half-believed to be permanent at this point.
“Too slow, Princey,” Virgil said, snickering at the pout Roman’s face twisted into, “But seriously, that’s kinda amazing. Here I was, afraid you might say no or something, and you were gonna propose to me yourself,” he added, muttering the second half.
“What?” Roman’s voice was thick with shock, “In what twisted reality would I say no?! I love you, Storm-cloud, more than anything. Marriage was always the end goal for me.” Virgil shrugged, leaning to face his lover.
“I dunno. You know how I am, anxious about literally everything and it’s not like it really went according to plan. I was chocking the moment I started.” Roman shook his head, scotching closer and leaning up to press his lips to Virgil’s.
“Not even close, darling. You did wonderfully.”
And though Virgil couldn’t agree, he was sure glad Roman thought so. Virgil had never expected to live a life so dependent on someone else, telling himself for years how detestable such an idea was. But lying here with Roman now, for once, he gave way to the unexpected, opening the future with open arms.
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