Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1 :
Group Chat : Siblings Suck

People : Zuko, Azula

Sparky: im dyign

Baddest Bitch: wtf is wrong with you it’s 2 am

Baddest Bitch: ??

Baddest Bitch: are you going to tell me or

Sparky: there is not enough time to explain what’s wrong with me

Sparky: also, I think Jet and Sokka want to break up with me?

Baddest Bitch : WHAT! I'M GONNA KILL SOME MOTHERFUCKERS TONIGHT!

Sparky: nah, funerals cost a lot

Baddest Bitch: Wait
Baddest Bitch: are you drunk?

Sparky: No? I only had a few drinks?

Sparky: And now I can see Appa talk. Did you know he has a British accent?

Baddest Bitch: Why are you with Appa?

Baddest Bitch: Correction, how are you with Appa?

Baddest Bitch: aren’t Aang and Katara are in Hawaii for their honeymoon? And aren’t Toph and Suki babysitting Appa and Momo?

Sparky: ...I don’t know.

Baddest Bitch: Where are you right now?

Sparky: 3rd avenue. Why?

Baddest Bitch: I’m coming to pick you up. Stay there and try not to die

Sparky : dying sounds fun though

Baddest Bitch: Shut the hell up. I’m coming.

Sparky: I’m scared

Baddest Bitch: Why? What happened?

Sparky : What if Father comes and kills me right now?

Baddest Bitch : Then I’d hunt him down and kill him slowly. I’d tear open his back and use his ribs to pierce his shriveled up heart and then pop his lungs and watch him bleed out.

Sparky: ilysm! ur the best

Baddest Bitch: I love you too. But are you drinking more?

Sparky: Even though I’m gay and in a polyamorous relationship?
Sparky: also no?

Baddest Bitch: are you aware of the fact that I have two girlfriends

Sparky: ...I forgot

Baddest Bitch: ...im disowning you.

Sparky: I love you.

Baddest Bitch: ik. btw, I really doubt they plan on breaking up with you

Sparky: really?

Baddest Bitch: Really, really. They love you to bits

Baddest Bitch: especially some bits, if you get it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Baddest Bitch: also I’ll be there in a sec

Sparky: love you

Baddest Bitch: You’ve said that so many damn times already, jesus

Sparky: I need to make up for our fucked up childhood

Baddest Bitch: How about you and me go on vacation for a week for a bonding trip?

Sparky: I’d love that. I also love you so so much

Sparky: you’re so fun and take care of me and I love you

Baddest Bitch: This is going to be used as blackmail, you know.

Sparky: I don’t care, I love you

Baddest Bitch: I love you too, you drunk disaster.

Chapter Text

Group Chat : boomerAang

People : Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph

Sketchers: First you name this after my lack of information about this century. THEN YOU FUCKING NAME ME AFTER A LITTLE GIRL’S SNEAKER BRAND!

Snoozles : AND THEN MY BOOMERANG!

Snoozles: this is offensive to all boomerangs

Emo Girl: what the fuck.

Emo Girl: why am I here.

Pink Gymnast : LANGUAGE, BITCHES!

Emo Girl has left the chat

Pink Gymnast added Emo Girl

Sugar Queen: Give up Mai. I’ve tried for years. It doesn’t work.

Blind Bandit: Stupid text-speech fucking broke. Y’all spam so much.

Sparky: That’s rough, buddy.

Gay Queen: A little birb told me Azula and Zuko fell asleep on the couch together!

Sugar Queen: Pictures or it didn’t happen. Bird not birb, Ty Lee.

Pink Gymnast: B I R B

Gay Queen: *Azula wrapped around Zuko on the couch. Zuko’s face was buried in Azula’s neck. Azula’s legs and arms were wrapped around Zuko as though protecting him from the world.*

Sugar Queen: OH MY FUCKING GOD, THAT’S SO DAMN CUTE!

Fuckboi Supreme has screenshotted photo

Baddest Bitch: SHUT THE FUCK UP. JET DELETE THAT FORM YOUR PHONE OR I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU!

Sparky: ME AND AZULA ARE LEAVING ALL OF YOU!

Blind Bandit: What do you mean?

Baddest Bitch: We’re going to Alaska for a trip for a week. We have a house on the mountains.

Sparky: That house was so nice. Then I got burnt in it.

Sketchers: Damn. That was deep.

Emo Girl: Like the burn.

Pink Gymnast: Mai!

Emo Girl: What? Tell me I’m wrong.

Sparky: I’m hurt.

Sugar Queen: Hey, Suki?

Gay Queen: What up?

Sugar Queen: *Children Azula and Zuko were playing in the sand. Azula and Zuko were grinning widely as Lu Ten was sitting down next to them. Iroh was also laughing.*

Baddest Bitch: Never show that demonic thing again.

Pink Gymnast: Why? It’s so cute.

Baddest Bitch: It shows how I failed as Zuzu’s sister.

Sparky: I’m crying.

Sugar Queen: I’m so sorry Zuko.

Sparky: No, it’s fine. I poked my eye.

Gay Queen: Dumbass. Who do you think you’re fooling?

Sparky: You’re next to me, bitch! Of course you know I didn’t poke my eye!

Snoozles: Why are you two together?

Gay Queen: We’re at Starbucks. A nice old lady asked if we were dating. We said yes. Zuko kissed my cheek and I barely held my laughter until the lady left.

Sparky: *Picture of Zuko kissing a laughing Suki’s cheek. They had coffees on their hands. They were both laughing.*

Fuckboi Supreme: I feel salty.

Sketchers: I feel ya buddy.

Gay Queen: I gotta go. Me and Zuko have tickets to a movie.

Sparky: It’s horror.

Snoozles: I’ll prepare for nightmare cuddles.

Baddest Bitch: You get nightmares?

Sparky: Goodbye bitches.

Chapter Text

Sparky: So that movie was absolute shit

Gay Queen: ^^

Snoozles: Why?? I heard that it was good?

Sparky: nO

Sparky: The plot was so basic, and the characters were all so stupid

Snoozles: So no nightmare cuddles then? :(

Sparky: Oh, no, I’ll be having nightmares

Fuckboi Supreme: ?

Sparky: because the characters were dumber than balls and also the clown/ demon was lowkey terrifying

Snoozles: I love cuddles :)

Blind Bandit: I also heard

Blind Bandit: That you like

Blind Bandit: D I C K

Snoozles: yes? I’m in a relationship with two men?

Sketchers: F in the chat for Toph

Sketchers: F

Emo Girl: f

Pink Gymnast: F

Sugar Queen: F

Fuckboi Supreme: F

Sparky: ff

Baddest Bitch: F

Gay Queen: rip

Snoozles: God damn it Suki! you broke the chain

Gay Queen: rip Suki

Gay Queen: anyways, yeah to all of what zuko said

Gay Queen: the movie had absolutely terrible execution (pun intended)

Blind Bandit: I bet that I wouldn’t get scared

Sugar Queen: ??? you can’t see??

Blind Bandit: That’s the point.

Baddest Bitch: lol

Sketchers: tbh I don’t really understand your humor

Blind Bandit: I know. It’s funnier that way.

Sketchers: can you change my name please I hate it

Blind Bandit has changed Sketcher’s username to Twinkle Toes

Twinkle Toes: that,,, is not better

Blind Bandit: Deal with it, motherfucker.

Twinkle Toes: my mom’s dead

Sugar Queen: rip

Baddest Bitch: oof

Twinkle Toes: i will commit die, thanks

Snoozles: can I come with?? plz

Twinkle Toes: sure

Snoozles: k cool

Chapter Text

Sugar Queen: I just went to see Zuko.

Gay Queen: And?

Sugar Queen: He hasn’t been eating for the past 2 days. JET AND SOKKA YOU ARE DEAD!

Snoozles: I'm with Aang!

Fuck Boy Supreme: I’m with Ty Lee and Mai at a knife convention

Emo Girl: I feel high

Fuck Boy Supreme: She’s smiling. I’m scared.

Pink Gymnast: Shut up, Jet. I think it’s cute.

Baddest Bitch: I’m running a motherfucking company. I don’t have time for Zuko’s shit.

Twinkle Toes: I bet twenty bucks you're going or already in your car to check on Zuko.

Baddest Bitch: No one asked you, fat ass.

Twinkle Toes: Pay up.

Sugar Queen: IF ZUKO DOESN'T EAT THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES I WILL SHOVE THE FOOD DOWN HIS THROAT.

Gay Queen: Force Feeding? Sokka and Jet can help.

Fuck Boy Supreme: I’m down.

Twinkle Toes: I need two gallons of bleach please, Mai.

Emo Girl: I DON'T WORK AT HOME DEPOT ANYMORE BITCH. THAT WAS FOR COLLEGE FUNDS.

Twinkle Toes: Home Depot is how I met you guys. It will always be dear in my heart.

Blind Bandit: Guess who just fired a dickhead that called me, the owner of the company, disabled?

Baddest Bitch: I was there. The guy shit his pants.

Blind Bandits: Damn straight.

Sugar Queen: I just realized no one in this group is straight

Blind Bandit: Katara, are you dumping Aang and finally joining me and Suki?

Sugar Queen: No. I’m bi not disloyal

Twinkle Toes: Love you, babe

Sparky: I DON'T NEED FOOD!

Sugar Queen: FOOD IS THE STUPID SHIT THAT TASTES GOOD AND KEEPS YOU ALIVE, DICKWAD!

Sparky: I AM RUNNING ON SPITE, WILLPOWER, AND SPIKED COFFEE, FIGHT ME!

Sugar Queen: What did you just say?

Gay Queen: Shit is about to go downnnn

Snoozles: Babe. I love you. I hope heaven does too.

Sugar Queen: SPIKED COFFEE!?

Fuck Boy Supreme: Mai can choose funeral decorations.

Emo Girl: It’ll be blacker than my soul.

Pink Gymnast: That’s possible????

Sugar Queen: ZUKO, YOU MOTHERFUCKER, GET YOUR SORRY ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!

Sparky: RUN IMMA DIE

Gay Queen: I got you bae, my cars outside

Sparky: Luv you, baby. <3

Snoozles: Am I the only one that low key thinks Zuko and Suki are fucking? And actually ships it?

Blind Bandit: Nah, I’m with you fam.

Gay Queen: Damn, we’ve been found

Sparky: *Image: In Suki’s car, stuck in traffic. Zuko was splayed across Suki’s lap as Suki leaned down to press a kiss to his nose.*

Blind Bandit: My text-to-speech broke that was so hot.

Snoozles: Amen.

Chapter Text

Snoozles: y’all look at this

Snoozles: *Image: Suki laying across Zuko, holding each other tightly. Jet and Toph lay on either side of them, all sleeping.*

Snoozles: I think I died and went to heaven to see these angels

Snoozles: plus Toph, I guess

Pink Gymnast: owo whats this

Emo Girl: please

Emo Girl: I’m literally begging you to stop

Baddest Bitch: ^^

Pink Gymnast: tbh I came out to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked rn

Snoozles: damn what a mood

Sugar Queen: Aww, they’re so adorable! <3

Twinkle Toes: :3 *snickers* this is perfect blackmail

Snoozles: keep ur cosplay ass out of it

Twinkle Toes: ???

Snoozles: literally NO ONE types like that

Twinkle Toes: damn, am I being kinkshamed in my own house

Twinkle Toes: life is full of disappointments

Blind Bandit: Yeah, you’re a disappointment for sure.

Twinkle Toes: I thought you were asleep??

Snoozles: she just woke up, roasted you, and went back to sleep

Snoozles: you got roasted, toasted and BURNT, SON

Twinkle Toes: please stop

Emo Girl: s t o p

Pink Gymnast: I T

Baddest Bitch: please tell me that wasn’t another bts reference

Emo Girl: Unfortunately, I think it was. And I was used as a pawn in her game.

Pink Gymnast: I-

Emo Girl: ARE YOU A FUCKING VSCO GIRL OR SOMETHING? STOP

Pink Gymnast: im not kissing you until u apologize

Snoozles: oooh shit’s bouta go downnnn

Baddest Bitch: stfu sokka

Snoozles: sorry my b

Snoozles: please don’t kill me

Baddest Bitch: I’ll consider it.

Chapter Text

Group Chat- bae <3
Members: Ty Lee, Azula, Mai

Babygurl: Ty Lee
Big Tiddy Goth Gf- Mai
Tsundere- Azula

Big Tiddy Goth Gf: Ty Lee, I’m sorry. That was an extreme reaction, I shouldn’t have said that.

Babygurl: ...fine. But you don’t get kisses

Tsundere: Do I get kisses? or am I banned too

Babygurl: you get kisses! you didn’t call me a VSCO girl

Big Tiddy Goth Gf: I really am sorry, Ty Lee. I shouldn’t have said that.

Babygurl: you still have to wait a week for kisses.

Big Tiddy Goth Gf: … Okay.

Group Chat- Place to rant when everyone’s a bitch
Members: Sokka, Mai, Toph

Queen- Mai
Peasant- Sokka
Knight- Toph

Queen: I’m going to rant here, and you both have to promise not to snitch, okay?

Peasant: Yeah, okay, spill the tea

Knight: Snitches get stitches, and I ain’t no snitch.

Queen: Y’all saw that whole thing between Ty Lee and me on the main server, right?

Peasant: Yeah..?

Knight: Yup.

Queen: Who the FUCK does she think she is? No one likes her when she talks like that. My god, she should just go to a goddamn cosplay convention with Aang if she’s going to act like that. She already has a hydro flask and scrunchies, what's next? Those stupid-ass necklaces? Fuckin’ crocs?

Peasant: Damn, sis, you went OFF.

Queen: If you don’t cut it out, I will kick you from the chat and slit your throat in your sleep.

Peasant: Sorry. Um, have you tried talking to her?

Queen: Yeah! And she said that she “forgave me” but she won’t give me any kisses until next WEEK.

Peasant: … That’s rough, buddy.

Knight: Damn. That’s some good tea you got there.

Queen: Why are you like this?

Knight: Why AREN’T you like this?

Peasant: What she said^^

Queen: ANYWAYS, I hope that she forgives me soon. I didn’t mean to upset her.

Knight: She’ll forgive you if she knows what’s good for her.

Peasant: Was that a threat?? I’m feeling threatened.

Knight: It can be if you want it to be.

Queen: Okay, I’m done ranting, bye.

Peasant: k bye

Knight: Bye, bitches.

Chapter Text

Group Chat - the tea is scalding hot
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph

Snoozles: ayo Toph can you change my name

Blind Bandit has changed Snoozles’a name to Boomer Man

Boomer Man: w h y

Boomer Man: that shit don’t even make no fucking sense

Gay Queen: lmao suffer

Twinkle Toes: now you feel my pain

Sparky: rip

Fuckboi Supreme: rip

Twinkle Toes: yo was Jet just iN THE CHAT

Twinkle Toes: WHAT IS HAPPENING

Twinkle Toes: THE WORLD AS WE KNOE IT IS ENDING

Sugar Queen: Know*

Boomer Man: stfu Katara let the man speak

Sugar Queen: Ah. I see how it is.

Boomer Man: shIT KATARA PLEASE DON’T KILL ME

Boomer Man: SUKI HELP

Gay Queen: nah.

Boomer Man: shit someone hel

Gay Queen: she killed him before he could finish

Twinkle Toes: rip to our fallen soldier

Sparky: I NEED HELP

Gay Queen: OH MY GOSH, BABE WHAT DO YOU NEED!

Boomer Man: so you help him but not me

Blind Bandit: How the fuck are you alive?

Boomer Man: I’m so bruised that Katara wanted me to feel the pain

Sparky: I’ll put salve on it later

Sparky: HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK DO YOU SPELL BEUTIFUL?

Gay Queen: … honey I love you, but why

Sparky: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL BEUTIFUL! MAYBE I'M SPELLING IT RIGHT AND EVERYONE ELSE IS WRONG!

Fuckboi Supreme: Beautiful.

Twinkle Toes: HE LIVES!

Blind Bandit: HE CAN SPELL!

Fuckboi Supreme: Katara, what did you do to Sokka and how did you do it?

Boomer Man: Jet! I thought you loved me.

Sugar Queen: Well, you thought wrong. And Jet, I just hit him a couple of times.

Fuckboi Supreme: …

Emo Girl: Note to self, never piss off Katara.

Sparky: once I pissed off Katara AND Azula

Pink Gymnast: How the actual fuck are you alive? What did you do?

Baddest Bitch: BECAUSE HE DID IT FIVE MINUTES AGO AND IS ABOUT TO PAY!

Pink Gymnast: Not to sound like a broken record, but what did you do?

Sparky: I had a panic attack and forgot to tell them…

Emo Girl: Zuko, rest in peace.

Blind Bandit: Don’t you mean in pieces?

Twinkle Toes: Toph! be nice

Blind Bandit: What? We all know it’s true.

Gay Queen: I’ll help you Zuko

Sparky: No! You might die, Suki! I love you too much to let you go.

Gay Queen: I’d die a hundred times for you

Sparky: I love you, Suki.

Gay Queen: I love you too, babe

Twinkle Toes: well now I don’t need to watch titanic

Blind Bandit: Titanic is shit compared to these two.

Boomer Boy: you cant even see

Emo Girl: What’s that supposed to mean?

Boomer Boy: I feel threatened

Pink Gymnast: me too and I’m not even part of this conversation.

Baddest Bitch: ZUKO! GET BACK HERE!

Sugar Queen: I’LL PAY YOU SUKI! JUST BRING THAT SHITHEAD BACK HERE!

Gay Queen: Never!

Sparky: Step on it!

Boomer Man: well that was dramatic and extremely stressful

Chapter Text

Group Chat - the tea is scalding hot
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph

Boomer Man: so zuko is now being forcefed by Katara and Azula

Boomer Man: it’s extremely funny bc he keeps sending me these looks as if I can help him

Boomer Man: he thinks I have power over them

Boomer Man: I wiSH

Twinkle Toes: fuckin same

Sugar Queen: You wish you had our power

Boomer Man: yeah?? that’s what I said

Boomer Man: do you think I’m not a feminist or?

Gay Queen: y’all heard it here first: Sokka is a proud feminist

Pink Gymnast: yes that is true I can confirm

Pink Gymnast: yesterday I fell down the stairs (I was planning on doing a flip) and he caught me and said “I would simp for you if I wasn’t gay as fuck” and honestly what a mood

Twinkle Toes: damn

Fuckboi Supreme: Daily reminder that Aang is not allowed to curse until he’s thirty.

Twinkle Toes: 凸( •̀_•́ )凸

Pink Gymnast: does that count???

Fuckboi Supreme: y e s

Twinkle Toes: How come Toph gets to curse?? She’s younger than me! this is inequality and capitalism

Blind Bandit: Actually, no because I’m a king and you’re a servant.

Boomer Man: damn she really OUT and killed a man

Boomer Man: (not that Aang’s a man, he’s a CHILD)

Twinkle Toes: I’m like ONE year younger than y’all

Boomer Man: so? like I care

Emo Girl: time is irrelevant and so is life.

Blind Bandit: Mai is spittin’ straight FACTS.

Blind Bandit: We’ll, they’re not so straight but y’all know what I mean.

Boomer Man: lmaooo is anyone in this gc straight

Blind Bandit: well Aang’s p straight.

Twinkle Toes: I just have eyes for my forever girl

Boomer Man: did you really just reference your five-year-old self

Twinkle Toes: yes, yes I did

Boomer Man: eh okay but you could’ve done so much better. like, there are so many animes and movies and things that you could’ve said but no. like naruto or sm

Twinkle Toes: no but your taste is traSH

Boomer Man: is that the best insult you can come up with, bitchboy?

Twinkle Toes: (actually yes bc Zuko and Jet have banned me from cursing)

Boomer Man: oof

Boomer Man: fite me in the dm’s

Twinkle Toes: mhm see you there

Group Chat: chaos
Members: Aang, Sokka
Glo-stick: Aang
Lord Sword: Sokka

Glo-stick: LETS GO BITCH

Lord Sword: LETS GO, MOTHERFUCKER

Glo-stick: dont say mean things about my dead mother

Lord Sword: sorry, SHITFACE

Glo-stick: it’s okay, DICKBAG

Lord Sword: let’s meet up at the corner of our streets and have a sword fight

Lord Sword: bring your bamboo wack stick thing

Lord Sword: it’ll be fun, I promise

Glo-stick: yeah alright

Group Chat - the tea is scalding hot
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph

Gay Queen: aight so Sokka and Aang want me to film their sword fight and it’s actually pretty funny rn

Gay Queen: [video.png]

[Aang and Sokka run in slow-motion towards each other, while Suki commentates.

“Y’all aren’t in a movie or some shit!”

“Yeah, but it’s cooler this way!” Sokka calls to the camera.

Their weapons of choice make contact. It clangs, and Sokka tries to stab Aang in the stomach, but Aang deflects it with his staff.

“And here we see two masters of war, fighting in their natural habitat,” Suki says with a deadpan voice, as they both miss each others’ hits.

They spar back and forth, continuing in the same fashion, until Aang pushes Sokka so close to the sidewalk that he trips and falls flat on his back. Aang holds his staff to Sokka’s chin, and Sokka looks to the camera.

“And this is how I die,” he says before getting up to jab at Aang’s side with the blunt edge, “or so he thought.”

Sokka hits Aang’s head with the blunt edge and Aang crouches and rubs his head before stabbing Sokka in the stomach. Soon, they hit each other at the same time, effectively knocking each other out.

The camera flips to face Suki.

She rolls her eyes and looks over at the two of them.

“This is going to be so much work to get them back to their places. Can one of y’all come over and help me?”

She purses her lips, and flips the camera again to Sokka and Aang, still lying down, unconscious.

“Wish me luck,” she says before the camera goes black.]

Pink Gymnast: well that was a wild ride from start to finish

Sugar Queen: Resident doctor in training here: they both have concussions because Aang and Sokka are stupid hoes

Gay Queen: lmaooooo go off queen

Blind Bandit: Even from the audio alone I could tell that they were being stupid as usual. Why is anyone surprised?

Sparky: idek anymore

Emo Girl: ^^

Sugar Queen: Anyways, they should be fine, just sensitive to light for a bit. Zuko and Jet can I trust you to make sure that Sokka doesn’t do anything stupid to his head for the next couple of days?

Sparky: yeah sure.

Fuckboi Supreme: We can sure try, who knows if he’ll listen.

Blind Bandit: P R E A C H

Emo Girl: They can’t kill him to stop him from doing something stupid. His existence is the epitome of stupid.

Baddest Bitch: Just got on after a 2 day work trip. Damn.

Blind Bandit: Indeed.

Chapter Text

Group Chat - the tea is scalding hot
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph

Sparky: since sokka can’t look at electronics rn he’s asking me to shitpost in here for him

Sparky: “so it looks like Mai and Ty Lee have made up, seeing as they’re fucking in the closet” he said after visiting Azula’s room to grab his headphones

Sparky: “I am traumatized for life” as if I wasn’t after slipping in the shower and seeing my life flash before my eyes????

Sparky: and since Katara’s at her training thing or whatever and no one else wants to put up with him, have a little Aang too

Sparky: “whose goddamn idea was it to have a sword fight in the middle of the street after getting slightly high?”

Sparky: there are so many things wrong with that statement

Sparky: 1: who let aang and sokka get weed?

Sparky: 2: Toph if it was you I’m either going to kill you or steal from you, these week has been a fucking mess

Sparky: 3: who let aang swear

Sparky: nvm sokka said he did

Gay Queen: LMAOOOOOO I JUST SAW THIS AND ITS PURE GOLD

Gay Queen: zuko being done with aang and sokkas shit is something I did NOT know I needed two minutes ago

Gay Queen: @sparky where’s Jet and why isn’t he helping you with sokka

Sparky: he’s passed out after anotHER night of not sleeping

Sparky: he’s a fucking idiot and needs to sleep more

Blind Bandit: Snitches get stitches, Sparky.

Gay Queen: that was,,, really ominous

Sparky: Aang, muttering to himself: “It would be fun, he said. He lied to me.”

Sparky: damn what a wholeass mood

Blind Bandit: Zuko you’re not allowed to swear either.

Sparky: uh yes I fuckin’ am

Sparky: who do you think you are? my mom?

Blind Bandit: No, I’m just the person who give you your….

Sparky: nO shut up

Blind Bandit: That’s what I thought.

Sparky: thanks

Sparky: anyways, me and Azula are going to Alaska in a few days so that’s gonna be fun

Gay Queen: When are y’all leaving?

Baddest Bitch: Friday, I think

Sparky: ^^ yeah

Sparky: Sokka upon hearing this: no don’t leave please I’ll miss you

Sparky: Aang: don’t leave me here to deal with these sickos on my own

Emo Girl: Are you guys ever filled with that feeling of knowing that you’re going to die one day and after two or three generations no one’s going to remember you?

Pink Gymnast: no not really

Gay Queen: yo what brought THAT on

Pink Gymnast: she slipped in the shower

Sparky: I feel your pain, Mai

Gay Queen: oh and how would you know that

Pink Gymnast: what the fuck are you on we literally live together

Emo Girl: Sometimes stuff just hits you, you know? Like, sometimes I’m just filled with anxiety over not knowing what’s going to happen next. What if the robots take over? What if there’s aliens and they decide that ‘it’s been long enough, the humans are too evolved’? You never really know..

Blind Bandit: Bro I’m pretty sure that’s a sign of depression and anxiety.

Sparky: Sokka: as if THAT’S a fuckin surprise

Sparky: Mai is now chasing him with a knife so that’s fun to watch

Gay Queen: is Sokka on the fuCKING CHIMNEY?

Sparky: maybe? idk he’s probably fine

Sugar Queen: Stop spamming! Also,, Zuko get Sokka off the roof before he hurts himself again. He doesn’t need to be concusses again..

Sparky: sorry kat on it rn

Baddest Bitch: Damn, everyone simps for Katara. Why doesn’t anyone do that for me?

Pink Gymnast: babe you have us

Emo Girl: ^^ love you

Blind Bandit: Disgusting. If you get any more lovey-dovey I’ll kick you from the server.

Chapter Text

Group Chat - operation try not to let anyone die
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph

Sugar Queen: Update: Sokka and Aang are now fully un-concussed and can you their phones again

Sugar Queen: Update 2: I’m leaving on a trip with my college to Chile for two weeks or so, so please don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.

Sparky: Update: me and Azula are leaving for Alaska rn

Boomer Man: Update: imma go into depression but also kataras leaving so that’s nice

Twinkle Toes: dang shots fired

Sugar Queen: Update: Sokka’s going to be concussed. Again. And very soon.

Baddest Bitch: Zuko stop trying to hide Sokka and hurry the fuck up

Boomer Man: ha im hidden where no one could find me

Sugar Queen: Bitch, you made a mistake when you left your phone on. Have you forgotten that I know how to hack?

Boomer Man: shit she’s coming for me i’m turning off my location sharing or whatever bye

Sparky: … anyways we’re leaving for the airport now and we’ll be back on the 12th

Twinkle Toes: nuuu zuko dont leave

Sparky: sorry Aang! gtg now or we’ll miss our flight

Gay Queen: wtf don’t you guys fly on your private jet

Baddest Bitch: ZUKO IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE IN THE NEXT 30 SECONDS IM GOING TO LEAVE WITHOUT YOU

Sparky: bye guys!

Twinkle Toes: ಠmಠ bye Zuko and Azula!

Twinkle Toes: Sokka says bye too!

Sugar Queen: Bye, guys!

Sugar Queen: @twinkle toes Oh, so you know where Sokka is? Thanks!

Blind Bandit: Bye, guys. Also, Sokka, you better find a better hiding spot.

Fuckboi Supreme: Bye, love. See you, Azula.

Emo Girl: See you later, babe. Bye, Zuzu.

Pink Gymnast: bye babe! see you soon. bye zuzu!

Twinkle Toes: oh my god did you see jet say that on the chat or am I just hallucinating

Pink Gymnast: no I saw it too!

Sparky: can everyone please stop calling me zuzu

Twinkle Toes: nO

Sparky: guess I’ll just die, then

Emo Girl: mood

Chapter Text

Group Chat - Lonesome Losers
People - Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee

Boomer Man: tbh I feel so alone without Zuko next to me

Fuckboi Supreme: I’m literally next to you.

Boomer Man: but you’re fucking freezing so it doesn’t count

Pink Gymnast: ik EXACTLY what you mean

Pink Gymnast: Mai runs in negative degrees

Emo Girl: My nonexistent body heat represents how I am on the inside.

Boomer Man: man I miss the sex and the food and the warmth and the stupid blushes Zuko would make when he got flustered and everything and gdi I wish he would just come back already

Emo Girl: Do you know the meaning of flustered?

Pink Gymnast: I KNEW ZUKO BOTTOMED!

Pink Gymnast: also, let romance blossom, Mai! Sokka, that is absolutely adorable!!!

Emo Girl: Romance is dead.

Fuckboi Supreme: Amen.

Boomer Man: Ty Lee, I feel like our relationships w Mai and Jet are just fulfilling the stereotype of pastel/ goth and I don’t like it

Boomer Man: wanna run away from these two and get eloped

Pink Gymnast: yeah! let’s go to Maine or sm I hear it’s super pretty!!!

Boomer Man: aight cool we’re going to go to Maine on Sunday to elope

Boomer Man: our depressing s/o’s can stay here and be depressed with each other

Pink Gymnast: cool!! let’s do it

Group Chat- depression is real
Members: Jet, Mai

Death- Mai
Homiesexual- Jet

Death: We have finally rid ourselves of the colorful menaces. Thank any spirits who may watch us from above.

Homiesexual: Certainly took long enough.

Homiesexual: this is offensive as FRICK

Death: What the hell ?

Homiesexual: Sokka stole my goddamn phone.

Death: language!!

Homiesexual: Ty Lee, give Mai her phone back.

Death: Finally managed to convince her to go and play with Sokka.

Homiesexual: Children are terrible, really

Death: They are.

Homiesexual: I want some

Death: Me too but Azula isn’t ready and Ty Lee needs to mature a bit.

Homiesexual: Sometimes I think about life and wonder why I’m talking about having kids with one of my boyfriend’s exes

Death: stop thinking about life. Life sucks.

Homiesexual: You’re not wrong.

Death: I’m never wrong except when I am.

Homiesexual: damn, that was deep

Chapter Text

Group Chat: Team Avatar (The Original)
People: Zuko, Sokka, Aang, Katara, Toph

Blind Bandit: Sokka, run.

Boomer Man: why? is Katara back??

Sugar Queen: Nope. Still in Chile.

Twinkle Toes: I know. and it hurts, every time

Boomer Man: stfu aang no one asked

Blind Bandit: Anyways, I’m outside your house and you’ll never believe what I just saw.

Boomer Man: WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT DID YOU SEE?

Sugar Queen: dumbassery at it’s finest

Boomer Man: every goddamn time

Sparky: stop being stupid.

Blind Bandit: If that worked, Sokka would have been cured years ago.

Boomer Man: seriously though, are you outside because i really need an impromptu movie night

Blind Bandit: On my way with some Chinese take out.

Twinkle Toes: I’m coming, bro. I’ll bring Appa

Boomer Man: and Momo?

Twinkle Toes: Momo has entered the chat.Hes here with me and Sokka.

Sparky: *picture with Zuko laying in bed with Azula on his left. They were in first class and Azula’s arms were protectively wrapped around Zuko. She had forgotten to take off her glasses and her face was buried in Zuko’s neck. Zuko looked like he was about to cry*

Sparky: why the hell is sleeping Azula so fucking cute

Sparky: AND THOSE GODFORSAKEN GLASSES!

Sugar Queen: Black mail material!

Boomer Man: azula was there when I drank that weird punch with the cactus juice drug in it so she has enough blackmail to last her a lifetime

Twinkle Toes: iTs tHe qUenChIeSt

Blind Bandits: Lol, I remember that.

Boomer Man: AANG I THOUGHT WE WERE BROS

Twinkle Toes: it was too good an opportunity to let slip, sorry bro

Sugar Queen: Alexa, play ‘despacito’

Sparky: NO! ALEXA IS OVERRATED AND DESPACITO IS HAPPY! GOOGLE, PLAY ‘HAPPIER’!!!

Boomer Man: I just fell in love all over again

Blind Bandit: Gross, but I stand by Zuko over here.

Twinkle Toes: Momo has committed a jump from Sokka’s lap.

Boomer Man: depression, here I come

Sugar Queen: Momo, who knew you had it in you. Taking the leap of faith that clearly everyone else in this chat is too scared too.

Blind Bandit: Damn, y’all. 2,000 miles away and Katara’s STILL playing Sokka.

Sugar Queen: Like the cheap kazoo that he is.

Boomer Man: bro how could you do this to me

Boomer Man: I thought you loved me, Katara

Sugar Queen: False. Anything that you’ve been taught is just lies and slander in hope of pleasing the patriarchy. I never loved you.

Boomer Man: I think I’m going to go upstairs and cry in my bedroom

Blind Bandit: LMAOOOOO HE ACTUALLY JUST GOT UP AND LEFT

Blind Bandit has changed Sugar Queen’s username to Ice Queen

Sparky: I feel for my boy. but damn, sokka, you’re gonna need some ice for that burn.

Ice Queen: Eh. Serves him right, the little shit.

Boomer Man: let me just remind you that im OLDER than you

Ice Queen: Well, you certainly don’t act like it.

Blind Bandit: Damn, Katara’s on a roll.

Sparky: yeah. Rip Sokka 2k20

Boomer Man: @Twinkle Toes, you’re suspiciously quiet. I thought you’d be on my side, bro. Im disappointed in you.

Blind Bandit: Is Sokka my dad now? Because he’s disappointed in his kid, just like mine.

Sparky: this whole conversation is a trainwreck, honestly.

Ice Queen: ^^^

Twinkle Toes: no bro I would’ve helped you out I was just… preoccupied

Blind Bandit: Spill, or else. I have decades worth of blackmail.

Twinkle Toes: see thats exACTLY why i shouldnt tell you. you’ll just use it against me

Blind Bandit: Hey, everyone, do you remember the time that Aang tried to push over a boulder then dislocated his shoulder? Or how about the time when-

Twinkle Toes: STOP OKAY I’LL TELL YOU

Twinkle Toes: okay so it was an accident

Blind Bandit: Me and Sokka are coming over right now. I’m getting the feeling that we’ll have to drive you to the hospital.

Twinkle Toes: yeah that’s probably a good idea

Boomer Man: we just got here and I am WHEEZING

Blind Bandit: HE FUCKING FELL INTO THE MAILBOX

Boomer Man: tHE MAILMAN LOOKS TERRIFIED

Twinkle Toes: can you stop laughing and help me

Boomer Man: nO

Blind Bandit: NO

Blind Bandit: Stupid speech to text.

Sugar Queen: I-

Sugar Queen: I don’t know what to say…

Sparky: do you have pictures? pictures or it didn’t happen

Twinkle Toes: BETRAYAL

Boomer Man: what kind of person do you take me for, honestly

Twinkle Toes: thank you, Sokka, my bro

Boomer Man: ofc I have pictures

Twinkle Toes: SOKKA YOU HAVE FORSAKEN ME I TRUSTED YOU

Blind Bandit: Broken ankle and dislocated shoulder. Nice going.

Twinkle Toes: stop attacking me

Sparky: YOU WHAT! IM COMING BACK RIGHT THE FUCK NOW

Sugar Queen: NEXT FLIGHT HAS MY NAME ON IT

Twinkle Toes: NO IM FINE STOP

Sparky: AZULA, START THE MOTHERFUCKING CAR

Sugar Queen: WHERE THE HELL ARE MY GODDAMN KEYES

Blind Bandit: Inner moms, TRIGGERED.

Boomer Man: AANGS BOUTTA GET SMOTHERED

Sparky: AZULA'S READY LETS GO

Sugar Queen: OMW TO THE AIRPORT

Twinkle Toes: NO ILL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT JUST DONT RUIN YOUR VACATIONS

Sparky: SOKKA, GET A TON OF SHITTY FOODS AND PAIN MEDICATION

Sugar Queen: TOPH, BULLY AANG INTO STAYING IN BED AND KEEPING HEALTHY

Boomer Man: got it babe

Blind Bandit: Let’s fuck up some motherfuckers.

Twinkle Toes: your supposed to make me better

Blind Bandit: I will.

Blind Bandit: Eventually.

Twinkle Toes: scREAMS

Chapter Text

Group Chat - the tea is scalding hot
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph

Pink Gymnast - OMG I JUST REALISED ME AZULA AND MAI ARE PART OF THE BANG GANG

Sparky: im whEEZING

Sugar Queen: BANG GANG

Gay Queen: AZULA AND MAI GETTING FUCKIN EXPOSED

Baddest Bitch: never say those cursed words again.

Emo Girl: say what again? Bang gang?

Pink Gymnast: why? We all have bangs, what’s the big deal

Baddest Bitch: rip Zuko, he fell off the bed laughing

Sugar Queen: I wanna be part of the bAnG gAnG

Baddest Bitch: DO NOT SAY THOSE CURSED WORDS

Blind Bandit: lol, bitches be pissed.

Sparky: say what? Bang Gang

Sparky: no Azula, abuse! Give me that fucking pillow woman or so help me I will fuck you up

Gay Queen: imagine thinking Zuko is threatening

Blind Bandit: he is a WEAKLING

Sugar Queen: I feel like I should be offended on his behalf but it’s so facts

Pink Gymnast: I don’t get it. What’s wrong with Bang Gang

Pink Gymanst: JESUS FUCKING CRIST I SAID IT OUT LOUD LOLOL

Baddest Bitch: I’m done. I need a new family.

Emo Girl: fALSE! you love us too much

Baddest Bitch: LOVE IS A WEAPON AND NOTHING MORE

Sparky: not as much as a stove to the eye

Blind Bandit: f in the chat for Zuko

Baddest Bitch: f

Pink Gymnast: f

Emo Girl: f

Sugar Queen: f

Blind Bandit: f

Twinkle Toes: f

Twinkle Toes: also lol, bang gang

Baddest Bitch: MOTHERFUC-

Sparky: I HAVE STOLEN THE PHONE!

Sparky: shIT I FORGOT THE DAMN PILLOW

Twinkle Toes: you had one job

Sugar Queen: Is anyone else watching the ominous ‘Blind Bandit is typing’ sign?

Gay Queen: me. Gotta know what my girlfriends’ doing

Sparky: I chucked the phone at Azula

Sparky: it hit her in the head

Sparky: so now I hold the sacred ice pack to her forehead while apologizing and typing with one hand

Sparky: autocorrect, please go easy on me

Blind Bandit: autocorrect bows to no man or woman

Blind Bandit: also, I didn’t realize the text to speech was on.

Blind Bandit: whoops I guess

Twinkle Toes: NON BINARY PEOPLE, IT'S YOUR TIME TO SHINE

Pink Gymnast: autocorrect really do be hatin on us tho

Emo Girl: facts

Blind Bandit: HOLY SHIT, BANG GANG SOUNDS LIKE THAT CHINESE PLACE ME AND ZUKO WENT TO ON THIRD STREET

Sparky: OH OH THE ONE WITH THE REALLY GOOD DUMPLINGS

Blind Bandit: YEAH THAT ONE

Gay Queen: Babe? You didn’t invite me?

Blind Bandit: Sorry.jeez, not everything’s about you

Gay Queen: I was talking to Zuko, toph.

Blind Bandit: as your girlfriend I feel offended. As a Suko shipper, I feel thrilled

Sparky: sorry babe

Sugar Queen: WAIT AANG, YOU AND ME WENT THERE FOR OUR FIRST DATE

Twinkle Toes: THEY HAD THOSE SEAWEED WRAPS

Gay Queen: WAIT WIAT, I WENT TOO! I WENT WITH YUE BEFORE SHE DECIDED TO GO TO NASA FOR THAT SPACE PROGRAM

Blind Bandit: Sorted. Bang Gang is now our new meeting spot.

Pink Gymnast: me Mai and Azula went there too. They have good soup

Emo Girl: but Starbucks? They know our orders

Blind Bandit: Shit, you’re right.

Twinkle Toes: so now we’re going back to a shitty Starbucks instead of that really good Chinese restaurant’s name we compared to potentially polyamorous rape scene called a Gang Bang?

Baddest Bitch: correct, yes

Twinkle Toes: sounds good to me

Sparky: her headache went down

Sparky: so I gave her her phone

Sugar Queen: good

Boomer Man: I legit just went to shower, what the fuck

Blind Bandit: WAIT WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK IS YUE NOT IN OUR CHAT

Gay Queen: SHIT YOU RIGHT

Gay Queen added Princess

Princess: BITCHES, SHITS BOUTTA GO DOWN

Twinkle Toes: HELL YEAH YUE

Sparky: laNGUAGE YOU HEATHEN

Chapter Text

Group Chat - queens
People - Yue, Suki, Katara, Toph, Mai, Azula, Ty Lee, Zuko

Sparky: why am i on here

Blind Bandit: Because you are a girl in guy form.

Sparky: shHHH TOPH THEY WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO KNOW

Princess: Exposed!

Pink Gymnast: rip Zuko, 2k20

Sparky: Azula told you didnt she

Baddest Bitch: go away. I am trying to enjoy my day at Denali National Park with my little sister

Baddest Bitch: brother*

Sugar Queen: Zukooooooo

Sparky: leave me alone, you bullies

Baddest Bitch: *Azula and Zuko are in a small boat. They are drifting in the middle of a large lake. Azula is pressing a kiss to Zuko’s forehead. Zuko is pouting in the seat but accepts the kiss.*

Gay Queen: my girlfriend has been stolen from me

Blind Bandit: I-

Blind Bandit: i am actually ok with dating Zuko

Gay Queen: ZUKO, SHE ACCEPTS YOU

Sparky: IM MOVING IN WHEN I COME BACK

Princess: BUT ZUZU

Princess: I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME

Princess: DID THOSE TERRIBLE RAMEN NIGHTS IN COLLEGE MEAN NOTHING TO YOU

Sparky: WE ARE STILL IN COLLEGE , MS. I'M A GENIUS THAT GOT ACCEPTED INTO NASA. ITS SUMMER BREAK

Sugar Queen: not for me

Sparky: fuck the shut up, smart ass

Blind Bandit: fuck the shut up I’m whEEZING

Sugar Queen: FIRST JET THEN SOKKA THEN SUKI THEN TOPH AND YOU APPARENTLY HAD YUE ON THE SIDE

Princess: I AM NOT A SIDE HOE

Gay Queen: I THOUGHT I WAS SPECIAL, ZUKO

Pink Gymnast: I never fell for him

Emo Girl: YOU LIAR

Emo Girl: YOU AND ME WOULD LITERALLY PINE SO HARD NEXT TO AZULA WHEN HE WAS IN KARATE PRACTICE

Blind Bandit: botH OF YOU

Emo Girl: SHIT I'VE SAID TOO MUCH

Baddest Bitch: jeALOUSY

Sparky: IM SORRY I LOVE ALL OF YOU EQUALLY

Baddest Bitch: please we all know who your saving when the world ends

Princess: Appa

Gay Queen: Appa

Pink Gymnast: Appa

Emo Girl: Appa

Sugar Queen: Appa

Sparky: I….

Baddest Bitch: i was going to say Aang

Sparky: AANG IS MY CHILD OK

Sparky: HE HAS BEEN ADOPTED BY ME

Sugar Queen: You whore

Sparky: STOP HARASSING ME IN A GROUP CHAT I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE IN

Blind Bandit: ZUKO’S BEEN GETTING SOME

Princess: HIS GAY ASS CAN’T TAKE US

Sparky: JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE RIGHT DOESN’T MAKE IT OK

Pink Gymnast: EXPOSED, YOU SLUT

Sparky: plEaSe sToP

Gay Queen: Zuko, I had loved you

Sparky: no, Suki, please, no, not you

Sugar Queen: I FEEL THE LOVE, BITCH

Emo Girl: SHUT UP KATARA, THEY’RE DOING THEIR TITANIC THING

Gay Queen: You were my everything. I was ok with Sokka and Jet keeping you sometimes. But you were mine. Your heart was mine. YOU SAID YOU WERE MINE!

Pink Gymnast: We have transitioned to Hamilton, folks

Blind Bandit: Popcorn, please

Sparky: Suki, please. I know I don't deserve you, Suki. But hear me out. That would be enough

Princess: how do you guys have this memorised

Baddest Bitch: the two went to watch Hamilton together and kept rewatching when it came out on Disney Plus. I’m still impressed tho, ngl

Baddest Bitch: they know the whole thing, forwards, backwards and inside out

Baddest Bitch: i hate it now

Sparky: SHUT UP! KINDA IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING HERE

Gay Queen: Don’t worry, Zuko. I forgive you.

Gay Queen: also, I know you all love Hamilton too so leTS GET SOME REFERANCES UP IN HERE

Pink Gymnast: THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES

Emo Girl: OCEANS RISE, EMPIRES FALL

Blind Bandit: ARE YOU AARON BURR, SIR

Princess: WHAT TIME IS IS IT

Sugar Queen: SHOW TIME SHOW TIME

Gay Queen: TALK LESS, SMILE MORE

Sparky: THEY SAY I’M A FRANCOPHILE, AT LEAST THEY KNOW I KNOW WHERE FRANCE IS

Baddest Bitch: Dear lord

Sparky: you know you want to

Baddest Bitch: ….

Sparky: come on!

Baddest Bitch: The art of the trade, how the sausage gets made

Gay Queen: SHES ONE OF US

Baddest Bitch: SHUT UP ITS ALL YOUR FAULT

Sparky: otp?

Blind Bandit: kinda hooked on hate sex for Jamilton

Sparky: you-

Sparky: Toph, there's no way your blind if you can see such a great ship

Blind Bandit: HELL YEA

Princess: guilty pleasure

Princess: Hamliza is cute too

Gay Queen: eh. It's nice but it isn't as nice as Jamilton

Princess: can't fight the truth

Emo Girl: Maria and Peggy

Pink Gymnast: No, maria and eliza

Baddest Bitch: kinda digging these gay ships

Sugar Queen: kinda ship James and Thomas

Sparky had kicked Sugar Queen out of the chat

Sparky: NO SWEARING ON THIS HOLY CHAT

Blind Bandit: TO HELL WITH HER

Gay Queen: DESTROY THE OPPOSITION

Emo Girl: Spirits

Emo Girl added Sugar Queen

Sugar Queen: lol, you believed me

Baddest Bitch: KATARA SHUT THE HELL UP I'M PRETTY SURE ZUKO IS ABOUT TO SWIM DOWN THE PACIFIC TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU

Sparky: whAT'S WRONG WITH YOU YOU MONSTER

Emo Girl: run, Katara

Pink Gymnast: i don't think even Appa’s puppy eyes can save you

Sugar Queen: shit

Sparky: RUN BITCH

Chapter Text

Group Chat - The tea is scalding hot
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Fuckboi Supreme: fucking fuck

Fuckboi Supreme: the fucking bees in the courtyard got me

Fuckboi Supreme: and I’m ALLERGIC

Emo Girl: lol

Sparky: NO NOT LOL HE IS HIGHLY ALLERGIC

Emo Girl: seems like a you problem

Twinkle Toes: rip Jet 2k20

Boomer Man: you're telling me the guy almost died and gave Zuko a heart attack

Sparky: IM IN ALASKA AND MY BOYFRIEND ALMOST DIED FUCK OFF

Twinkle Toes: lmao

Princess: imagine not being able to help someone you love

Blind Bandit: Was that shade I saw?

Sparky: stOP THAT THIS IS ABUSE

Sparky: BESIDES YOU CANT SEE ANYWAYS

Gay Queen: bitch boutta die

Blind Bandit: Sorry, Sparky, what did you say?

Sparky: AZULA

Baddest Bitch: LET ME SLEEP ITS 11 AM YOU FUCKING SLEEP DEPRIVED DEMONS

Gay Queen: sorrY LITTLE MISS EIGHTEEN HOURS OF SLEEP

Baddest Bitch: COME HERE AND FIGHT ME SUKI

Gay Queen: im booking a flight rn! try and stop me!

Baddest Bitch: hurry up we’re going to go hiking near some hot springs you might like after you faCE MY FURY

Pink Gymnast: babe are you talking to other girls? （◞‸◟）

Baddest Bitch: sorry

Pink Gymnast: ಠmಠ soRY DOESNT CUT IT

Emo Girl: simp

Baddest Bitch: oh like you wouldn’t

Baddest Bitch: il buy you your favorite macaroons from that bakery done the street

Twinkle Toes: fight fight fight fight fight

Pink Gymnast: f i n e

Boomer Man: what happens when someone blacks out when they’re swelling and unable to breath because of bee stings?

Pink Gymnast: omg sokka get him to the HOSPITAL!

Sparky: scREAMS

Sparky: SOKKA HOSPITAL YOU GOD DAMN-

Baddest Bitch: phone secured. Sokka, hospital now.

Boomer Man: yes ma’am. Omw now

Princess: y’all are disasters honestly

Sugar Queen: I would take offense but up you're not wrong

Pink Gymnast: へ‿(ツ)‿ㄏ

Emo Girl: waIT JETS ACTUALLY DYING

Baddest Bitch: no shUT UP MAI ZUKO’S LITERALLY HAVING A PANIC ATTACK

Twinkle Toes: I thought you took his phone tho

Baddest Bitch: I DIDN'T REALIZE HE WAS READING OVER MY DAMN SHOULDER

Princess: then hide the phone, you gay disaster!

Baddest Bitch: don’t think we didn’t see you eyeing Suki up the first time we met!

Princess: guilty. but she was just a squish not a crush

Twinkle Toes: what’s a squish

Princess: basically someone you really wanna get close to, like a platonic crush

Boomer Man: that sounds really lame

Princess: you’re fuckin lame Sokka why do you think I dumped you

Baddest Bitch: your crying about how cute it is right now aren’t you

Boomer Man: stOP EXPOSING ME

Princess: oh crap didn’t see that

Sugar Queen: how’s Zuko doing, Azula

Baddest Bitch: has calmed down enough for phone privileges

Blind Bandit: Y’all. Get your shit together.

Boomer Man: Jet’s alive and is about to blow up the chat with hate

Fuckboi Supreme: so I’ve been stabbed by the fucking doctor thrEE TIMES

Fuckboi Supreme: AS IF ONCE WASNT ENOUGH

Gay Queen: rippppppp are you good bro

Sparky: stop I’m crying

Baddest Bitch: he actually is

Gay Queen: Zuko are you alright, love?

Sparky: Jet is legit dyING IN A HOSPITAL WHILE I AM PN THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE CONTINENT HOW THE ACTUAL HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO BE

Sparky: I FEEL PEACHY, SUKI, THANKS FOR ASKING

Fuckboi Supreme: Im fine babe stop

Fuckboi Supreme: im literally just in the ER

Twinkle Toes: not the right thing to say Jet you’ll die by zuko

Sparky: JUST THE ER HE SAY

Baddest Bitch: we’re packing up to leave

Gay Queen: wait no I have a flight to Alaska in 20 mins

Baddest Bitch: YOU ACTUALLY BOOKED IT

Gay Queen: no?? pshh who do you think I am, Sokka?

Baddest Bitch: …..

Baddest Bitch: do you really want me to answer that?

Gay Queen: yeah I booked a flight ok

Gay Queen: buT it wasn’t just cuz of you I wanted to go for a while

Sparky: I need hugs and love and cuddles and Jet’s dying and suKI BOARD THE DAMN FLIGHT PLEASE

Fuckboi Supreme: bruh. honey. honeybruh. I’m the one who nearly just died.

Sparky: DID YOU JUST CALL ME HONEY AND BRUH AND HONEYBRUH IN THE SAME DAMN TEXT YOU LITTLE

Fuckboi Supreme: welL I WOULDNT HAVE TO IF YOU WERENT IN FUCKIN ALASKA

Baddest Bitch: jeT I WILL SEND A HIVE OF BEES AFTER YOU HE'S FALLING APART AGAIN YOU SHIT

Boomer Man: he is really high. Like lots of pain med.

Fuckboi Supreme: no I’m NOT SOKKA YOU FUCKER DTOP IT

Fuckboi Supreme: fuCK YOU

Emo Girl: Zuko, clam down. Listen to Azula breathe and match it. Tell me three things you feel.

Twinkle Toes: calm down lol

Sugar Queen: Aang. If you want to remain in a relationship, SHUT UP

Twinkle Toes: sorry kat

Sparky: the sun, Azula’s hand, and the bed

Gay Queen: okay, now two things you hear.

Sparky: the stupid text alert and the birds

Princess: Now, one thing you see.

Sparky: Ozai and the stove and the fire and the heat and the burning and ohmygodicantholdongivemeabitoftime

Baddest Bitch: shit it’s bad give me ten

Twinkle Toes: Take your time.

Emo Girl: he hasn’t reacted this badly in a while

Gay Queen: yeah, be careful

Boomer Man: and I’m too far away to help

Sugar Queen: therapy is doing a lot. He’s getting better but you can’t expect it to happen in just a year with what those two have been through. I remember how Zuko would still have to help Azula through bad nights and vice versa. They’ll be fine. Give them some time.

Boomer Man: yeah, I know. They gave Jet another dose of medication, he’s under now. I hope he’ll apologize.

Emo Girl: he’s out cold. Like dead cold.

Gay Queen: I’m boarding the flight but why’s Mai at the hospital

Pink Gymnast: I’m here too!

Emo Girl: if Jet was dying I need to say goodbye

Baddest Bitch: I mean this in the politest way possible but STOP TALKING ABOUT SIGNIFICANTLY IMPORTANT THINGS

Blind Bandit: Yeah, guys. This is triggering Zuko’s panic attacks and you’re really not helping at ALL.

Boomer Man: I need to leave. I’m probably gonna fuck shit up

Emo Girl: us too. Me Sokka and Ty Lee are going to Bang Gang’s for some good noodles. Take out. We’ll eat by Jet to make sure nothing happens.

Gay Queen: alright, good luck.

Sugar Queen: Did your flight take off yet?

Gay Queen: taking off in five

Sugar Queen: good, shut off your phone. Sokka, Ty Lee, Mai, go eat. Azula, take care of Zuko. Toph and Yue, I’m assuming you are somehow together so go do something. I hear there’s a nice park with dogs allowed to go to. Aang take Appa and then take Appa and Momo to the hospital.

Gay Queen: yessir

Princess: bro I’m not even in the same state as y’all right now

Princess: I’m in the space training program rn

Twinkle Toes: alright, papa’s been itching to get out of the house anyways.

Sugar Queen: never say that again Aang. Also, I know that Tophs there with you.

Twinkle Toes: no crap it autocorrected Appa to papa I didn’t mean it like that

Blind Bandit: how’d you know I was with Yue? Also, Aang, autocorrect sucks.

Sugar Queen: Suki isn’t the only one that makes expensive and impromptu trips to different locations.

Blind Bandit: Yeah, I guess. Azula, how’s Sparky doing?

Baddest Bitch: not great. He cried himself to sleep.

Sugar Queen: oh no. Suki will be there soon. Come home in a week. I’ll be here by then too.

Baddest Bitch: see you then.

Chapter Text

Group Chat - Valentines Day
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Sparky: you would not believe what Sokka and Jet got for me

Baddest Bitch: I swear if it’s a-

Sparky: I GOT A PUPPY!!!!!!

Pink Gymnast: luCKY! MAI AND AZULA BOUGHT ME A GIGANTIC GIFT BASKET

Sparky: it’s name is Druk.

Pink Gymnast: send us a pic!!

Boomer Man: *Image: an awestruck Zuko was holding a tiny puppy close to his chest. Zuko’s eyes had literal stars in them and his grin was blinding. The puppy was a small brown German Shepherd and looked so rust colored, he was almost red. He looked very excited and was nuzzling Zuko’s face.*

Twinkle Toes: wholesome

Twinkle Toes: that cleared my skin watered my crops and cured cancer

Blind Bandit: What type if dog is it?

Fuckboi Supreme: it's a German shepherd puppy

Emo Girl: get rid of the motherfucking picture it’s giving me feelings

Pink Gymnast:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sugar Queen: Mai? Feelings? What?

Twinkle Toes: ^ sounds fake but okay

Twinkle Toes: also 🥺🥺🥺 the pupper is ADORABLE

Pink Gymnast: yeah! can we come over? I wanna pet it

Baddest Bitch: great, another thing for me to take care of.

Sparky: Azula, shut. EVERYONE, I'M HAVING A PUPPY PARTY AND AANG, BRING APPA.

Pink Gymnast: yay!!!!!

Twinkle Toes: great! when is it?

Sparky: idk, come over whenever. You all steal my food, love, attention, and Aang/Appa cuddles anyways.

Pink Gymnast: nice me and azula and mai are going to be right over

Boomer Man: sleEPOVER TIME BITCHES

Gay Queen: just saw the chat. IM COMING OVER TOO ZUKO GET PREPARED FOR ME TO STEAL DRUK

Sparky: nO MY BABY

Sugar Queen: gueSS WHOS IN TOWN FOR THE WEEK!

Twinkle Toes: but you came back last week? and so did zuko azula and suki?

Emo Girl: god you guys are stupid. It’s-

Princess: i’m back in TOWN YALL GET READY FOR ME

Sparky: gaSP WILL YOU COME TO MY PUPPY PARTY PLEASE

Princess: don't worry babe I wouldn't miss it for the world

Boomer Man: ok, real time, who here has actually like liked Zuko because I feel like he’s being stolen from me

Fuckboi Supreme: everyone simps for our boyfriend. It's just a fact of life at this point

Sugar Queen: Say I if you’ve liked Zuko. I

Emo Girl: kind of his first girlfriend. I

Pink Gymnast: I'm a hardcore lesbian so nah but he's my baby boy

Baddest Bitch: please, before you came out, you were all over him

Pink Gymnast: yeah, as a POTENTIAL LITTLE BROTHER

Baddest Bitch: whatever you say love.

Pink Gymnast: there is no trust in this relationship

Emo Girl: we love you too

Boomer Man: relationship, bitches. I. Also, Ty Lee getting exposed like

Blind Bandit: OOGIE. No. Zuko is a child.

Twinkle Toes: he's literally older than both of us but okay I guess

Twinkle Toes: also no he's my big brother

Sparky: Aang and Toph arE MY CHILDREN YOU HEATHENS! I LOVE THEM LIKE I LOVE DRUK

Fuckboi Supreme: I. am literally his boyfriend. pretty sure that I like him.

Sugar Queen: I maybe sorta almost kissed him. In laser tag once.

Sparky: OH I REMEMBER THAT! If you did, I probably would have kissed back.

Gay Queen: damn the teas HOT AS HELL

Sparky: loOK IM GAY AS MUCH AS THE NEXT MINECRAFT PLAYER BUT KATARA IS FUCKING GORGEOUS OK

Boomer Man: crYING

Blind Bandit: Alright that is gross and I didn't need to know that.

Princess: I, no. Just no. hes like my brother in law that I need to make sure doesn’t die but I still eat shit food with all the time

Gay Queen: ^^^ amen to that

Sparky: 2012. August 19. Dorm 104. 3:21 am. Suki. Yue. I’m sure you remember the rest.

Twinkle Toes: what happened on August 19

Princess: zuKO WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT

Twinkle Toes: whaT HAPPENED U NEED TO KNOE

Gay Queen: listen and you don't need to know

Sparky: Long story short, Yue chokes on dumplings and falls off the couch while Suki laughs so hard, coke comes out of her nose.

Gay Queen: zuKO HOW COULD YOU EXPOSE ME LIKE THAT

Sparky: sorry, babe. TOPH GET OUT OF WORK AND BRING ME YOUR TINY BODY FOR WARMTH

Fuckboi Supreme: everyones dating everyone and I'm the only one who doesn't know what's happening.

Boomer Man: mood. Also, Druk just stole my fucking shoe

Blind Bandit: Good luck on getting that shoe back in one piece.

Sparky: Druk just threw a shoe on my lap, like what the- oh. Just read this.

Twinkle Toes: a story in two parts. b e a u t i f u l

Emo Girl: Shakespeare could not compete

Fuckboi Supreme: ^^

Princess: once I had a brother named Zuko. Also, open the fucking door, it’s cold and I want puppy and Zuko.

Twinkle Toes: yUEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Pink Gymnast: YUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Sparky: I SEE YUE AND AANG AND KATARA AND TY LEE AND MAI and I guess Azula’s there too but. YUEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Baddest Bitch: guess you don’t want those donuts from off of fourth street.

Pink Gymnast: no babe why do we have to suffer for zuko’s actions please. I need those donuts

Sparky: *Image: Zuko on top off Yue while she laughs as Suki is throwing popcorn at Sokka. Jet was debating with Mai about something in the background while Ty Lee and Aang cooed over the puppy. Katara was attempting to get Appa out of the unlit fireplace with a little bit of help from Azula.*

Blind Bandit: I'm coming over as soon as my fucking internship is over. I hate this job.

Gay Queen: same I hate my job working retail sucks

Sparky: I remember interning under my dad. Well sort of. I could only see with one eye at that point.

Emo Girl: we’re in the same room, why are we texting?

Gay Queen: for toph?

Blind Bandit: Nah, it's cool babe my shifts almost over. I'll be over in 20.

Boomer Man: bet you feel real stupid right now Mai

Sparky: TOPH IM LEAVING NOW TO PICK YOU UP

Sugar Queen: spirits, he just ran out with Druk on his head yelling something about ‘Vive La Revolution’

Princess: GET THOSE HAMILTON REFERENCES, ZUZU

Blind Bandit: ALRIGHT THATS COOL JUST TELL MY BOSS THAT THERES A FAMILY EMERGENCY.

Sparky: *Image: Zuko was wearing sunglasses as Toph stood behind him, Druk in one hand and her middle finger up on the other.*

Gay Queen: yeah, I'd say that this has been my best Valentine's day so far. Last year I was crying with a tub of ice cream, and this year I'm with my gf and best friends. Love y'all.

Sugar Queen: it’s about to become better. I made….

Sparky: NO YOU DIDNT

Sugar Queen: YES I DID!

Twinkle Toes: YES SHE DID!!

Boomer Man: WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT!

Princess: only the best thing ever!

Pink Gymnast: Katara’s valentines day BAKED ALASKA!

Emo Girl: but that’s fish

Sparky: YOU UNCULTURED WHORE ITS A DESSERT

Twinkle Toes: rip mai

Emo Girl: there are knives in my vicinity and you are in front of me

Princess: rip zuko

Sugar Queen: Rest In Peace Zuko

Princess: More like rest in pieces

Twinkle Toes: okay, how about no murder threats today, how about that?

Baddest Bitch: we’re about to play uno. There will be death

Boomer Man: LET THERE BE CAKE!

Sparky: even Sokka knows baked Alaska is cake

Emo Girl: knives. Right there.

Twinkle Toes: uno it is

Chapter Text

Group Chat - Druk is now Zuko’s favorite and everyone is upset
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Sparky: what is up with the name of this chat? Like wtf?

Gay Queen: it’s just the truth, man. straight facts へ‿(ツ)‿ㄏ

Boomer Man: I feel rejected. I was the cause of my own demise

Twinkle Toes: rip that’s a big oof. not just any oof. a ROBLOX oof

Princess: shots fired

Blind Bandit: Damn, son. That’s gotta hurt.

Sugar Queen: the biggest insult you can say other than, ‘you’re stupider than Sokka’

Sparky: I’m legit so lost right now

Pink Gymnast: it’s getting real hot in here. can y’all just chill

Baddest Bitch: I stole a puppy. It is my baby now.

Twinkle Toes: ah, so azula’s finally committed a felony. welcome to the dark side, bitch.

Sparky: ok, a) azuLA GET THE HELL BACK HERE WITH DRUK

Sparky: b) AANG WHAT DID YOU DO MY CHILD DO I NEED TO PRETEND TO DIE TO GET US FAKE PASSPORTS? ILL BE MUSHI YOU BE LEE WE’LL MOVE TO JAPAN, WE BOTH KNOW FLUENT JAPANESE

Twinkle Toes: nah it’s nothing like that I just stole a gum dispenser from the corner store when I was like twelve

Boomer Man: which one and lastly who the hell says gum ‘dispenser’

Gay Queen: the whole fucking dispenser? that takes motivation

Sugar Queen: I think you mean stupidity

Princess: what’s the difference?

Blind Bandit: A wise man once said there’s a fine line between stupidity and motivation. It’s me. I’m the wise man.

Baddest Bitch: more trans reveals? Damn, Zuko, you’ve got company

Blind Bandit:... I didn’t really think that joke through did I?

Emo Girl: no you didn't

Blind Bandit: Yeah okay.

Emo Girl: I have received puppy

Sparky: drUK MY BABY ARE YOU OK?

Pink Gymnast: aw, i said your name and Druk got so excited and started jumping around

Sparky: I’m coming my child

Twinkle Toes: am I being replaced? Is Appa being replaced?

Boomer Man: join the club

Twinkle Toes: it really do be like that tho. how about we start an ‘abandoned by our beloved pets and lovers’ club

Sugar Queen: you still have me babe and yes let’s start the mf club

Twinkle Toes: aight you’re in. who else?

Princess: Zuko gave Druk a kiss before me. I’m in.

Twinkle Toes: lmaoooOo you’re not even dating anyone or have any pets but that sucks dude you’re in

Boomer Man: AT LEAST YOU GET FUCKING KISSES

Gay Queen: says the one who fucks so loud that I can hear it from across the street stfu sokka

Sparky: u guys are cutting off my cuddles?

Twinkle Toes: what is he going on about

Emo Girl: Zuko has used puppy eyes. ThAts a LoT oF dAmaGe

Fuckboi Supreme: gst rekt lmao

Sugar Queen: one more thing about that stupid flex tape commercial and I shove the thing down your throat

Twinkle Toes: fear the wrath of katara she has katanas

Sparky: can I please just have me baby back?

Pink Gymnast: nO I’m cuddling him rn you can’t take him

Baddest Bitch: you shall not be receiving pupper today

Sparky: crIES

Twinkle Toes: well say goodbye to druk zuko you’re never seeing him again

Sparky: Aang I know where you sleep and where Mai keeps her knives

Twinkle Toes: why am I being threatened! I’m not the one who stole your dog!

Sparky: WIAT WHERE WAS THAT CORNER STORE

Boomer Man: how do you still remember this?

Twinkle Toes: wait why

Princess: there was one on the corner of elm where a gang used to go to

Sparky: I hated that place. Zhao ran the gang. He was my dad’s friend

Twinkle Toes: are we reliving childhood trauma rn or….do you want me to tell you what happened

Baddest Bitch: just spit it out

Twinkle Toes: weLL SO the gang leader was actually one of my uncle’s friends so they usually let me by pretty easy. so one day I went in when I was broke and forgot that I didn’t have money so I just,,, fuckin stole the whole gum all dispenser thing and ran like hell. anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk

Emo Girl: youR ALCOHOLIC UNCLE WAS FRIENDS WITH ZHAO?!?!? Actually, that makes sense

Boomer Man: alcoholic is in the name dude

Sparky: Aang, honey, I’m with Katara right now.

Twinkle Toes: and??? if you’re gonna kill me get it over with

Sparky: pisS HER OFF SOMEWHERE ELSE SO I DON'T DIE

Twinkle Toes: that sounds like a you problem my guy

Sugar Queen: Aang.

Sugar Queen: run.

Twinkle Toes: bye y’all [Image: that one disappearing meme]

Sugar Queen: see you all in ten!

Sparky: it takes one to kill someone

Baddest Bitch: 9 to hide the body

Princess: put it in the basement

Sugar Queen: I’m a med student.

Sugar Queen: does it look like my broke ass can afford a fucking basement?

Gay Queen: hide it in the campus lawn instead no one’ll notice

Blind Bandit: Personally, I’d drop the body down the river. It flows downstream.

Boomer Man: can’t beat it, yeet it

Sparky: wtf?

Fuckboi Supreme: ..don’t bother with him. it’s better not to ask questions.

Sugar Queen: thanks for the ideas but I’m good.

Chapter Text

Group Chat - its Easter and none of us are Christian
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Gay Queen: who named the chat bc that’s pretty funny but damn accurate

Blind Bandit: Why what is it called?

Gay Queen: fuck I forgot that you can’t see group names and shit

Gay Queen: it’s called “its Easter and none of us are Christian’

Twinkle Toes: yeah thay was me

Sugar Queen: I just bought so much chocolate and now it’s gone. Zuko, what did you do?

Twinkle Toes: that*

Sparky: YOU HAVE NO PROOF!

Gay Queen: god it’s always “Zuko this, Zuko that” stfu and get a real life y’all

Boomer Man: tf happened to you and Zuko

Gay Queen: nothing I just realized how mean that sounded sorry

Sparky: I’m blocking you and your hate to think I was going to share my chocolates with you

Gay Queen: I’m sorry!! I’m just on my period and hormones are shit

Sparky: SAY NO MORE IM BRINGING MOVIES, DRUK, CHOCOLATE AND OTHER SHIT

Gay Queen: :) thank you and I’m sorry for being mean :(

Princess: nah don’t worry I brought up Zuko’s dad one time during my period don’t sweat it

Blind Bandit: ripppppp

Pink Gymnast: someone delete yue’s text quick before-

Baddest Bitch: I bEG YOUR PARDON?

Emo Girl: azula, it’s fine, you also did something that bad, it’s just our brains malfunctioning

Sparky: they function on a daily basis? I did not kno- DRUK THATS NOT A CHEW TOY ITS KATARA’S SWEATSHIRT

Sugar Queen: ahA I KNEW YOU HAD IT

Twinkle Toes: say aye if Zuko has gradually been stealing your clothes. aye

Boomer Man: aye

Emo Girl: i steal Zuko’s food and he steals my hoodies, it’s a thing

Blind Bandit: Me and I’m a smaller size so I don’t know what he does with them

Gay Queen: i have zERO hoodies left. Aye

Princess: I wonDER WHO STOLE ALL OF MY SCARVES AND BEANIES

Sparky: I look better in them

Princess: doesn’t give you the right to take them

Pink Gymnast: ME TOO, but I have too many to really be upset

Baddest Bitch: you guys have clothes left?

Pink Gymnast: rip bae

Fuckboi Supreme: Are we talking about Zuko’s tendency to steal clothes? Let me rant, please.

Twinkle Toes: please, do tell

Fuckboi Supreme: me and Sokka have no clothes. that is all. Thanks for coming to my ted talk

Boomer Boy: how the hell are you texting I’m next to you and can’t see your phone.

Sparky: ur blind babe

Fuckboi Supreme: yeah you need glasses

Sparky: *picture of Zuko and Suki in a blanket fort with a movie playing and lots of food and drinks. Druk is half asleep, sprawled in both of their laps. Suki is wiping away tears while Zuko is crying.*

Sparky: why is titanic sad no matter how many times you watch it?

Chapter Text

Group Chat - shits crazy, huh?
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Gay Queen:...so, me and Aang did a thing

Twinkle Toes: I did a good thing I don't regret this thing at all

Sparky: we’re all dead aren’t we

Princess: fucking matrix shit happening. Also, I moved back to the states with y’all

Blind Bandit: what's happening?? And no one cares Yue

Princess: :(

Boomer Man: idk but I’m entertained

Gay Queen: so y'all know how me and aang we're supposed to go to the center of town right

Emo Girl: you wouldn’t shut up about it but yes

Gay Queen: ughhhh I vantn type

Sparky: what the shit does that mean

Gay Queen: anyway we went and got some boba tea n shit

Sparky: WITHOUT ME? SUKI I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS

Gay Queen: sorry babe :( but we made plans and you said you were busy, remember?

Sparky: I see how it is. you are being shUNNED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

Sparky: YOU TOO AANG

Twinkle Toes: Zuko’s so petty lmaoooooooo

Fuckboi Supreme: I mean yeah but you get used to it.

Boomer Man: he did block you two tho. And he’s about to block Jet

Gay Queen: not yet lol

Sugar Queen: wtf let me do med zukO TAKE ME WITH YOU INTO THE UNDERWORLD

Sparky: fuck the shut up and get your shit together woman

Sugar Queen: thank you. I needed that

Baddest Bitch: I just fell down the stairs and it didnt hurt I think I’m broken

Emo Girl: well your wrist sure is

Gay Queen: I mean like yikes but I walked into a wall earlier like full force and I didn't feel anything

Sparky: I never realized how untainted this chat is without Suki or Aang. It feels almost holy even tho we’re all atheist pieces of shit

Gay Queen: :(

Boomer Man: ur still blocked for him

Twinkle Toes: :(((

Gay Queen: aang u and I are the ’hated by zuko’ squad

Baddest Bitch: this is the only time I’ve ever seen him really hate someone

Gay Queen: :( gonna go cry brb

Boomer Man: I mean, boba is sacred. Katara runs on the stuff

Sugar Queen: bitCH IM IN MED SCHOOL I NEED THE DAMN CAFFEINE AND SUGAR

Twinkle Toes: ^^ she really does. she gets so tired if she doesn't and it makes me sad to see her exhausted

Princess: ew, love. Also, Zuko, we can get boba together

Fuckboi Supreme: lol simp

Sparky: I love you Yue, let’s go

Princess: :)

Gay Queen: so my mascara is now ruined

Princess: did you actually cry

Gay Queen:...no?

Baddest Bitch: Damn. Everyone wants them some Zuko

Baddest Bitch: stoP TAINTING MY DAMN PHONE TY LEE

Gay Queen: ok but just because I'm demi doesn't mean I don't wanna lose one of my best and closest friends over some boba tea :(

Boomer Man: well, I mean, Zuko forgot his phone and he’s out with Yue so….

Gay Queen: ofc I'm gonna be sad if one of my besties rejects me and blocks me

Princess: I didn’t actually block you Suki, I was trying to surprise you with boba cause I felt bad❤️

Gay Queen: so I cried for no reason?

Princess: yes. Yes I did. But I did block Aang. Idk what he said

Gay Queen: frick you that was so mean I genuinely did have a panic attack that's not nice to do

Princess: I’m so sorry but we need to leave right the fuck now because Ozai got let out on bail and he’s walking towards me and Yue and we are walking as fast as we fucking can and that is not very fast wtf

Gay Qeen: gtFO OF THERE

Baddest Bitch: THERE WAS A NO BAIL POLICY WHAT THE HELL, RUN

Twinkle Toes: RUN ZUKO AND YUE

Boomer Man: SHIT WE’RE COMING

Emo Girl: IF THAT FUCKER COMES ANYWHERE NEAR YOU I HOPE THERES A BAIL POLICY FOR MURDER

Fuckboi Supreme: Zuko we’re in the car and on our way, get as far away from him a a you can. We’ll be there ASAP

Princess: shit.

Princess: shit. This is not happening. Guys this is Yue. We got lost in a crowd and Ozai grabbed Zuko and I CANT FIND HIM

Fuckboi Supreme: Where are you two right now? The exact location.

Princess: we were last together right next to the statue at third and second

Boomer Man: we called the cops, they’re on their way

Sugar Queen: I’m on my way and Aang is coming too

Gay Queen: good luck guys! I hope it doesn't go to shit, I would help but I'm currently omw to the airport

Princess: shIT OZAI JUST DROVE OFF WITH ZUKO WHAT THE FUCK

Baddest Bitch: OH NO HE FUCKING DIDNT

Fuckboi Suprene: I'm tailing his car.

Boomer Man: guys. The car is gone.

Emo Girl: guys Azula’s missing and her car is empty.

Chapter Text

Group Chat -
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Baddest Bitch: fucker didn’t even care about us just wanted the damn company back. I said no and the cops arrested him but wtf?

Gay Queen: wow fuck him

Sparky: Ikr? Not like I had crippling depression for years because of him

Twinkle Toes: I knew he was a shithead. but like. damn

Boomer Man: honestly that’s sums up my entire knowledge on him

Fuckboi Supreme: I hope he goes to the seventh circle of hell, honestly

Princess: bitch send him to heaven with all them Karens. Us gays need Hell to ourself

Pink Gumnast: @fuckboi supreme what’s the seventh circle of hell

Gay Queen: psshhhh as if Karen’s go to heaven

Sugar Queen: Heaven prob is like seven eleven during the day

Sugar Queen: boring and useless

Gay Queen: people still go to seven eleven??? I thought they were like, cancelled

Sparky: the fuck is seven eleven

Pink Gymnast: I raise you this: why the fuck is seven eleven

Emo Girl: please don’t

Twinkle Toes: how the fuck is seven eleven

Sparky: WHO is seven eleven

Fuckboi Supreme: Shut the fuck up is seven eleven

Princess: lmaooo

Gay Queen: what does that even mean jet

Gay Queen: did that joke even make sense to yourself

Baddest Bitch: only intellectuals will understand you uncultured whore

Twinkle Toes: hEY DONT CALL SUKI A WHORE

Gay Queen: YEAH DONT CALL ME A WHORE

Princess: god get over yourself whore

Gay Queen: :(

Sparky: shots fucking F I R E D

Twinkle Toes: come on guys, be nice. you know she has anxiety.

Sugar Queen: is it bad right now? Cause this doesn’t usually bother you.

Gay Queen: thanks aang :)

Gay Queen: im fine I guess

Sparky: I gueSS? DRUK WHERE YOU AT? WERE RAISNG SEVEN ELEVEN AND THEN GOING TO SUKI’S HOUSE

Gay Queen: I just got flashbacks to highschool lol

Sugar Queen: don’t even go there

Twinkle Toes: raising??? wtf does that mean zuko

Sparky: damn autocorrect I meant RAIDING

Twinkle Toes: oh shit can I come?

Sparky: let’s. Bring Appa.

Princess: the hell is Toph at? And where’s Mai? @gay Queen @baddest bitch @pink gymnast

Gay Queen: how the fuck do I know

Emo Girl: dead. Gone. FUCKING EXTERMINATED

Gay Queen: my constant mood lmaooooo

Sparky: wtf are root beers

Gay Queen: basically just coke or pepsi but with flavor

Sugar Queen: YOU HAVENT HAD ROOT BEERS???

Boomer Man: BABE YOU HAVENT HAD ROOT BEERS???

Emo Girl: ZUKO HASNT HAD ROOT BEER???

Princess: WE DORMED TOGETHER NO YOU NEVER HAD ROOT BEER???

Twinkle Toes: ahahah don’t get them started it was like a fuckin staple food for them

Sparky: I feel attacked leave me alone

Gay Queen: say it with me

Twinkle Toes: I camE OUT TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND IM HONESTLY FEELING SO ATTACKED RIGHT NOW

Sparky: FUCK THE SHUT UP AANG NOBODY ASKED

Sugar Queen: uno reverse card and everything damn

Gay Queen: actually I asked

Twinkle Toes: :D thanks siki

Gay Queen: all that I do for you, and you have the audacity to spell my NAME WRONG? shame,, aang smh

Sparky: I just left Aang at seven eleven and me and Druk are going home since I’m obviously not APPRECIATED

Gay Queen: WAIT NO COME BACK I SWEAR WE CAN HAVE A MOVIE BIGHT OR SOME SHIT

Baddest Bitch: you all simp for Zuko and honestly it’s fucking hilarious

Gay Queen: excuse you I do not simp he is my brother from another mother PLUS I’m gay

Sparky: and thankfully from another father, we don’t need more parent trauma here

Gay Queen: ha don’t we all have daddy issues (except Katara and Sokka)

Sugar Queen: we flipped the damn switch up in here

Boomer Man: damn gay we did

Gay Queen: lmaooooooooo

Blind Bandit: Damn. I was gone for like twenty minutes and I come back to your shit.

Sparky: are we still going that shit hEY LOOK TOPHS BACK HI TOPH WANNA RAID SEVEN ELEVEN WITH US

Blind Bandit: Hi, Zuko. I want seven eleven but I’m fucking exhausted so imma just head over to Suki’s and wait for y’all.

Sparky: fair

Princess: I just realized.

Princess: when the actual hell do you guys go to school

Gay Queen: virtual school gang lets go

Sparky: idk what I’m doing

Pink Gumnast: Suki I can picture you finger gunning from here

Boomer Man: mood. Me neither tbh

Gay Queen: Ty Lee how’d you know

Emo Girl: remeber the time in like fifth grade when we all came out because Suki and Zuko simeultanioulsy finger gunned and we all just had that ‘shit I’m not fully straight’ moment

Princess: ha you can’t spell

Gay Queen: that’s just proof that’s she’s hay tbh

Emo Girl: how the actual fuck do you spell simultaneoolsy

Gay Queen: gay i MENAG GAY TON HAY

Sparky: that spelling tho

Gay Queen: shUT UP IM TIRED AND GAY YOU CANT EXPECT SHIT FROM ME

Sparky: also root beer tastes like shit

Sugar Queen: TAKE THAT BACK

Boomer Man: AND TO THINK I LOVED YOU

Gay Queen: idrc root beer is ok ig but it tastes generic

Princess: SUKI WE WERE B R O S MY GUY

Gay Queen: sorry??? Fanta is where it’s at tho

Sparky: can’t argue

Gay Queen: Fanta bros lets go

Twinkle Toes: I’m still at Seven eleven Zuko

Sparky: oh shI-

Gay Queen: bro you forgot our other bro I can’t believe it

Sparky: I FORGOT APPA IM SO SORRY MY BABY

Gay Queen: you forgot APPAAAA????????

Sparky: I ALSO FORGOT MY OTHER CHILD, AANG! WHICH ISLE ARE YOU IN

Twinkle Toes: I’m with the produce

Twinkle Toes: your local vegan is standing in the local produce aisle lmao

Sugar Queen: sounds legit

Sparky: IM COMING HOLD ON

Gay Queen: ikr

Blind Bandit: You’re all a mess how do you function

Gay Queen: baBE WE’RE ALL GAY WHAT DO YOU EXPECT

Sparky: fucK IM IN THE WRONG SEVEN ELEVEN WHY ARE THERE SO MANY

Twinkrl Toes: wait how did I end up at the grocery store

Boomer Man: what is even happening right now

Fuckboi Supreme: No fucking clue my good hoe

Emo Girl: I’m somehow in McDonalds.

Twinkle Toes: WHERE DID YOU EVEN COME FROM YOU WERENT EVEN GOING TO SEVEN ELEVEN WITH US

Emo Girl: idk I just get lost a lot

Baddest Bitch: true, once we lost her at Chuck E Cheese and when we found her she was sitting depressed in the ball pit as some three year old poured balls on her like holy water

Baddest Bitch: lol. Balls. And she’s gay, I’ll stop now.

Sparky: EVERYONE STOP

Pink Gymnast: I can attest to that

Gay Queen: I am not ashamed to say that I genuinely burst into tears laughing

Sparky: WHERE THE ACTUAL SHIT IS DRUK EVEYRONE STOP PANICKING LET ME GO FIRST

Twinkle Toes: idk but I’m still at like Walmart

Sparky: I JUST LOST ALL THREE OF MY CHILDREN WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LI- oh I found Aang and Druk is with Appa

Gay Queen: H O W

Gay Queen: damn what a disaster

Blind Bandit: Do we still get slushees?

Sparky: I just slipped into aang and we both fell into an ice cream cooler and for something rEason I thought of that really hot headed substitute teacher in the second grade Sokka called Sparky Sparky Boom Man and later in freshman year of high school called him combustion man in the middle of physics

Gay Uqeen: damn son you really cannot spell at ALL

Sparky: look who’s talking both

Gay Queen: looks like you are, boTH

Sparky: WTF I LOOK AWAY FOR THREE SECONDS AND AANG DISAPEARS WHERE ARE YOU CHILD

Twinkle Toes: look some people can talk fast, some people can skateboard, I just happen to be able to teleport

Sparky: IM CRYING WHAT DOES THAT MEAN JUST COME BACK

Gay Queen: aang is superhuman what

Blind Bandit: CONFIRMED

Sugar Queen: Aang’s power move- evasion

Fuckboi Supreme: that was I ironically the funniest thing I’ve read in the last 27 years

Princess: I just made it to Suki’s house, idk why but whY NOT HUH

Gay Queen: yourE NOT EVEN THAT OLD WTF

Boomer Man: spiritually Suki. Catch up

Sparky: status update- I have put Druk’s leash on Aang because Druk can follow me without needing to be promoted and Appa is being a good flooffer and we’re almost to your house

Gay Queen: but what about me?? Are you still coming over

Sparky: yes??? I legit said we’re almost there???

Gay Queen: oops sorry I can’t read

Emo Girl: I HAVE ARRIVED AT NEW HAMPSHIRE

Emo Girl: *picture of Mai in front of ‘Welcome to New Hampshire sigh. She looks dead inside but there is a sense of glee in her eyes.*

Sparky: WTF WE LIVE IN CALIFORNIA???

Fuckboi Supreme: WHAT THE SHIT MAI WHY DIDNT YOU INVITE ME

Boomer Man: THAT IS YOUR CONCERN RIGHT NOW

Sugar Queen: I- WTF???

Blind Bandit: TEACH ME YOUR WAYS

Sparky: I DIDN'T THINK I WOULD HAVE TO SAY THIS BUT NO TEACHING PEOPLE TO TRAVEL ACROSS THE COUNTRY MAGICALLY IN FIVE MINUTES MAI

Twinkle Toes: WEREN'T YOU JUST AT MCDONALDS YOU WAVED AT ME FROM THE WINDOW WHILE I WAS RUNNING THROUGH WALMART

Baddest Bitch: WHAT THE HELL SHES GONE HOW DID SHE-

Pink Gymnast: hOWWWW?????????

Emo Girl: Aang isn’t the only one that can teleport

Gay Queen: im crying what does that mean how are you able to do this-

Princess: the things I miss because my phones died.

Chapter Text

TRIGGER WARNING AT THE END

***

Group Chat - What the fuck is life
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Pink Gymnast: I have Madison beer stuck in my head she’s so goooddd I’m simping

Sparky: I got lost on the way here ngl and also she’s a queen

Pink Gymnast: yeS THANK YOU

Pink Gymnast: Azula thinks she sucks :( tbh tho I think she’s just jealous

Baddest Bitch: how the fuck did you get lost on the way to a group chat AND SHE WAS SO LYING ABOUT NEVER HAVING PLASTIC SURGERY BITCH SHES GOT MORE PLASTIC THAN FUCKING BARBIE

Pink Gymnast: who the frick cares? she has a nice voice and good music

Sparky: look, group chats are impossible to find when we have thirty ok

Pink Gymnast: literally just press in the top chat tho???

Emo Girl: I’m not sure which convo I’m following right now

Sparky: im a boOMER OK LEAVE ME ALONE

Boomer Man: you own the top technological company in the world wtf r u talking about

Twinkle Toes: tbh I’m not following either or any

Emo Girl: thank you aang

Fuckboi Supreme: same me neither

Sugar Queen: guys I just cracked my damn knees, ankles, toes, back, neck, and shoulders standing up wtf

Gay Queen: sucks to be you ig

Sparky: please you are so much worse, you sound like a damn xylophone convention

Pink Gymnast: are you okay??

Sugar Queen: no. No I’m not

Gay Queen: xylophoNE CONVENTION?? I’m wheezing-

Sparky: Druk runs off and gets lost in the weirdest places

Sparky: last week I ended up in a movie theatre that’s seats were actually in booths that were BDSM themed and by that I mean people were openly having kinky sex

Sparky: I was scarred for life.

Sparky: again

Gay Queen: ewww ahh I’m traumatized just thinking about that

Princess: so is it just a thing for you to joke about your scar

Sparky: pretty much yeah

Princess: k cool

Twinkle Toes: lmao that’s a big L for Zuko

Boomer Man: I was with him I was even more scarred because Zuko made me get Druk from some center booth and ew the germs

Fuckboi Supreme: can confirm, both of them came home looking like they had been through hell

Sparky: or Suki’s dorm after she forgot to clean

Gay Queen: hEY DONT DRAG ME INTO THIS

Sugar Queen: why do we always go to Suki’s dorm? THIS IS BIASY I DEMAND ALL TO COME OT MY DORM

Gay Queen: blasy?

Sparky: IM ON MY WAY AND DRAGGING SOKKA AND JET WITH ME KATARA

Gay Queen: fine I gueSS I’ll come over too

Princess: do y’all want donuts cause im about to pass Dunkin

Gay Queen: YESS PLEASE

Sparky: IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION YOU CAN LEGALLY SAY NO TO?

Blind Bandit: Ooh can you get those ones with the crunchy sprinkles? Everyone else hates them but they’re actually so good though

Princess: sure

Boomer Man: lmao remember the dunkin dude trying to make the spider donut

Emo Girl: I actually laughed

Gay Queen: @boomer man what the fresh fuck does that mean

Gay Queen: oh wait I’m just like supid and dyslexia nvm

Boomer Man: no duh. We all know ur dyslexia

Sparky: Lmao

Gay Queen: stop it :( ur being mean @pibk gymnast back me up

Sugar Queen: I just realized I have no sweatshirts, zuKO YOU LITTLE SHIT

Pink Gymnast: yeah don’t bully my fren!

Sparky: y’all have friends and SOMEONE QUICK HELP ME HIDE THE SWEATSHIRTS

Twinkle Toes: ha it’s not just him I’m guilty of theft too

Gay Queen: but to be fair Katara does have some hella cute sweatshirts

Sparky: I have been HACKED by AANG

Sparky: I can tell you all about clothes. I’m a boss at clothes theft

Gay Queen: lmao can confirm.the only clothes I have are stolen from rooh bc Zuko stole all of mine

Princess: this dude can tell which beanie I’m wearing by my mood and then proceeds to sTEALE IT

Sparky: look, Suki, you have nice sweatpants ok and whERE IS YUE WITH THOSE DONUTS

Gay Queen: damn yue got so pissed she turned into a 13th century Englishman

Emo Girl: guys I just found out some dude got famous for mass murder

Gay Queen: what where

Emo Girl: one word. H I T L E R

Baddest Bitch: no. Just no

Gay Queen: OH STFU MAI I THOUGHT YOU MEANT IN MODERN DAY

Twinkle Toes: I got scared too lmao

Emo Girl: well I’m not dumb like you and I will fiGHT DEATH COME AT ME BITCH

Pink Gymnast: mai be nice or no cuddles

Emo Girls: I’m still in New Hampshire.

Emo Girl: *picture of a New Hampshire sign next to some mountain range*

Gay Queen: H O W

Sparky: we need to put a tracking device in you

Twinkle Toes: lmaoooooooooo

Emo Girl: I’ll be at Katara’s in an hour

Fuckboi Supreme: bitCH HOW

Boomer Man: magic voodoo shit all over again unbelievable

Gay Queen: ok so I can see Sokka from my car in the parking lot (he’s in katara’s dorm) and I can see him gesturing from way out here lmao

Sparky: sukI I SEE YOU!!! YUE!!! DONUTS!!! LOOK ITS TOPH AND GERALD

Blind Bandit: Yue are you getting the ones I asked for too?

Princess: who the actual fuck is Gerald and yes I got a case of those donuts

Sparky: YOU HAVENT MET GERALD? HES THE BUTLER TOPH BULLIES INTO DOING EVEYTHIGN FOR HER

Twinkle Toes: whomst the FUCK is gerald

Boomer Man: we have seen this man for 13 years and never knew his name???

Twinkle Toes: no?? how did I not know his name???

Sparky: uneducated

Blind Bandit: In Aang’s defense, I didn’t know his name until I was twelve

Baddest Bitch: says the one that barely passed their test

Sparky: THTA WAS JUST ONCE

Baddest Bitch: THEY WERE THE FUCKING SATS WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Blind Bandit: Oh Zuko almost failed his SATS?? That’s the tea and great fuvking blackmail

Sparky: y’all disrespecting Gerald and he drove away and no I got full points

Boomer Man: but Azula said you failed?

Sparky: she wasn’t happy that I got full points she said I could have gotten more.

Gay Queen: how tho??

Sparky: idk the max points are 1600 and azula broke the matrix and got 2394

Fuckboi Supreme: I can confirm that Zuko has full points

Pink Gymnast: babe HOW

Baddest Bitch: work hard and you can be me someday

Emo Girl: I’m outside the door open up

Gay Queen: damnnn she’s really just flexing huh

Gay Queen: I gotchu mai

Sparky: how the FUCK is Mai here. U know what! Don’t even question it.

Twinkle Toes: she’s supernatural just accept it sifu hotman

Sparky: SUKI LET ME AT HIM LET ME GO IMMA KILL HIM SLOWLY

Sparky: I TUTORED YOU ONCE AND ALMOST BURNT THE HOUSE DOWN AND I GET LABELED FOR LIFE

Twinkle Toes: :) thanks Suki!

Gay Queen: no you are not going to kill my little brother

Sugar Queen: bro does that mean Zuko also adopted you

Gay Queen: no? but like yes?? isk man

Sparky: I’m very lost right now, who is my childs?

Gay Queen: no fricking clue my good hoe

Sparky: apPA MY BABY HOW ARE YOU

Twinkle Toes: did I,,, just get disowned?????

Emo Girl: I’m lying on the floor and Druk is lying the same way next to me and honestly what a mood

Pink Gymnast: damn mai you found your true soulmate

Sparky: WHOEVER THE FUCK JUST SAID AANG IS NO LONGER MY CHILD CAN GO SUCK AN EGGPLANT I HAVE ADOPTION RIGHTS TO HIM I TELL YOU

Twinkle Toes: does this mean I have to suck an eggplant??

Sparky: ew no that’s unhygienic child don’t do that

Twinkle Toes: ok good because eggplant is gross unLESS it’s cooked well

Sugar Queen: ur vegan eggplants are like the only thing you can eat

Twinkle Toes: KATARA NO that made me so sad

Sugar Queen: I’m sorry I’ve eaten too many donuts to function right now

Princess: ur welcome :)

Twinkle Toes: :/

Twinkle Toes: I can’t have any I’m gluten free

Boomer Man: what do you even eat

Twinkle Toes: whatever my digestive system can take tbh

Sparky: I tried to diet like aang once. I actually did pretty ok it’s not that hard

Twinkle Toes: you went vegan for like a week

Sparky: and? Once I lasted on pure sugar for a month, a M O N T H

Gay Queen: im actually on a similar diet to aang right now it’s really not that hard but I miss pop tarts

Sugar Queen: ZUKO YOU DID WHAT

Sparky: it’s ok Katara. I didn’t lose my abs. I still have a solid six pack

Gay Quren: lmaoooo

Boomer Man: very solid. I have an eight pack.

Fuckboi Supreme: can confirm both of these claims

Sparky: JET TRYING TO PLAY HIMSELF OFF, BITCH HAS MUSCLES AND WORKS OUT LIKE THEIRS NO TOMORROW WITH SOKKA LIKE WTF STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE IM SINNING EACH TIME I WATCH YOU WHILE EATING SUGAR

Gay Queen: there’s*

Twinkle Toes: imagine working out lol

Sparky: nobody asked ur scrawny ass aang

Gay Queen: hey don’t attack my son like that

Sugar Queen: is aaNG YOUR BROTHER OR SON IT CANT BE BOTH

Gay Queen: he’s my cousin

Sparky: I….I have lost track of who is what in our family. All I know is Appa is mine

Gay Queen: lol isn’t Appa Aang’s tho

Sparky: KATARA LET ME AT HER LET ME GO IMMA KILL HER SLOWLY

Sugar Queen: he’s urs Zuko it’s ok

Gay Queen: IM SORRY I DIDNT JNOW YOU ADOPTED APPA ACTUALLY GENUINELY DIDNT KNEO

Sparky: I ADOPTED ALL OF THE BOTH OF THEM BITCH

Gay Queen: do NOT call me a BITCH, BITCH

Sparky: excUSE ME?! BITCH

Gay Queen: BITCHIEST BITCHASS BITCH

Sparky: I KNOW U ARE BUT WHAT AM I

Twinkle Toes: uh guys could you calm down please

Gay Queen: NO I will NOTSTFU AANG

Sparky: I give up appa just left me time to commit suicide like I tried 3 years ago

Gay Queen: damn that got dark real fast but same

Gay Queen: imagine having people or animals that like you lol

Boomer Man: don’t even fucking say that I found u on the damn floor that day and called the ambulance and u nearly died and left me

Fuckboi Supreme: yeah, Zuko don’t say that shit please. It hurts me and Sokka

Sparky: :( I’m sorry I didn’t know it bothered u that much it’s kinda like a coping mechanism for me to joke about it

Fuckboi Supreme: it’s okay babe just.. talk to us if you’re feeling depressive, okay?

Emo Girl: I feel depressive

Boomer Man: shut up Mai no one asked

Pink Gymnast: hey Sokka?

Baddest Bitch: ty lee, breathe, he’s just panicked he’s in anxiety after hearing that

Pink Gymnast: Sokka is not allowed to shame my girlfriend over his boyfriend.

Baddest Bitch: oh really! And what did you call Zuko over me! ‘A common whore that spread his legs for anyone that asked’?

Pink Gymnast: I never said that shit.

Baddest Bitch: I have screenshots, don’t try me. I love you but you need to calm down

Pink Gymnast: Sokka is not allowed to say that shit! I apologized for what I said about Zuko, I fucking cried over it, and yet Sokka has the fucking AUDACITY to shame my reportedly depressive and suicidal girlfriend over his boyfriend (and I’m not trying to demean Zuko, all I’m saying is that he shouldn’t put someone else down)

Emo Girl: Sokka is in the midst of a panic attack right now and will apologize after, we know it hurt, and I don’t need to be protected. You need to relax, I’m fine. And trust me, we’ve all done worse than that, we all have issues and Sokka isn’t in the right state of mind.

Pink Gymnast: Fine. But I’ll only believe it when I see it.

Baddest Bitch: I’m going to France for a business trip.

Emo Girl: when did that happen

Pink Gymnast: when will you be back? How long is it?

Baddest Bitch: when my head is cleared and I no longer want to strangle someone.

Pink Gumnast :/ okay. But take your time

Emo Girl: wait over this?

Baddest Bitch: I think u forgot that my trigger is arguments between people I care about because that’s how Ozai killed my mom. I know Sokka was rude but Ty Lee had also crossed a line and I need some space.

Pink Gymnast: I’m sorry. Take your time, it’s okay if you want to break up with me, I understand.

Baddest Bitch: I know and no I don’t want to break up with you.

Sparky: sokka says sorry, his phone died and wtf happened here.

Pink Gymnast: Nothing of real importance… but if you want to check, be warned it might trigger you and for that I apologize.

Sparky: I just fucking scrolled and DAMN I JUST ALMOST CRIED TWICE AZULA ARE YOU OK

Pink Gumnast: im sorry! I’m so sorry for both of you, I crossed a line and I don’t mean to, I should have been more aware of what I said, I’m so sorry TwT

Sparky: no it’s fine, it’s fine! I just- where the fuck is azula she can’t be alone right now last time she was, she overdosed, diD SHE JUST DRIVE AWAY WTF

Pink Gymnast: … I don’t think that I should be with her right now… Mai, will you go?

Sparky: I swear to god, Ty Lee get in the damn car let’s go I called the pilot to make sure no Jet leaves the premises of our house,

Pink Gymnast: are you sure? She said I triggered her, I dunno if she needs me rn…

Sparky: it wasn’t u it was the argument and LETS GO WE DONT GOT TIME FOR THIS

Pink Gymnast: ok! I’m omw

Sparky: BYE SUKI BYE YUE BYE KATARA BYE BOYFRIENDS BY AANG DONE KILL APPA OR DRUK THANK YOU

Chapter Text

TRIGGER WARNING

***

Group Chat - What the fuck is life
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Baddest Bitch: why the shit can’t I take off the plane on ‘Master Zuko’s orders’

Sparky: ummmm….aliens?

Baddest Bitch: if this is a joke, it isn’t funny

Pink Gymnast: Im sorry for earlier! We don’t want you to do anything irrational that’s all

Baddest Bitch: I said it’s fine, the trip has been planned for two months it’s supposed to last two weeks I was just gonna stay one more

Sparky: huh. I forgot about that. You told me a month ago

Pink Gymnast: babe, are you sure you’re okay?

Baddest Bitch: yes??? I’m fine???

Pink Gymnast: ok… I’ll miss you! I love you!

Baddest Bitch: oh wait, I cancelled this two months ago. My b

Sugar Queen: I swear our lives would be the saddest, stupidest, most amused while crying movie ever

Gay Queen: why is Katara right thoooooo

Boomer Man: spittin straight facts

Gay Queen: not so straight I think you mean

Boomer Man: and Ty Lee, I’m so sorry, I had never felt anything that weird before it was like I was watching myself do things and I couldn’t stop while I was panicking. I’m so sorry

Pink Gymnast: it’s okay! I’m good now and also I think that’s a form of disassociation? usually happens after an anxiety attack

Boomer Man: we need to go to fucking therapy together I swear we gotta be prepared for this shit

Pink Gymnast: haha yeah probably

Gay Queen: alright, shall we analyze everyone? With consent, of course

Sparky: that’s so cute! Also, Sokka, Ty Lee? You two are busy from 3 to 6 on Tuesdays at Mushi’s therapy. Thank you!

Pink Gymnast: goddammit! how does he do that shit

Boomer Man: that was fast wtf

Sparky: I will drag u there myself if I have to don’t even try me

Pink Gymnast: also @gay Queen sure you can analyze me, why tf not

Emo Girl: I went there! They were nice and Suki lets do this

Blind Bandit: Sure babe, why not

Princess: eh wtf why not

Sparky: I’m almost certain I’m the most fucked up out of all of us

Baddest Bitch: in all honesty probably

Gay Queen: you don’t have to if you don’t want to. if it makes you feel bad I won’t do it

Sparky: I can do it, let’s see how Ozai messed up my entire short life

Baddest Bitch: u know what, ur right Zuko, let’s do this

Twinkle Toes: sure Suki you can do mine

Fuckboi Suprme: hell why not

Sparky: wtF IM IN UR LAP WHERE ARE U TEXTING FROM MY DUDE

Fuckboi Supreme: I have my ways.

Emo Girl: this is why you and me are terrifying

Twinkle Toes: mlm/ wlw solidarity right there

Sparky: Suki cmon let’s go but do me last! Let’s see what you’ve been learning in that phycology college course for the past three years!

Gay Queen: ok! wait did everyone consent?

Sugar Queen: yes

Gay Queen: alright! so here we go:

Yue- she probably has abandonment issues, and holds on tight to everyone she can, crippling fear of drowning. (I love you friendo! will not leave you)

Toph- also abandonment issues! fear of people leaving her bc of her disability (don’t worry I won’t leave you tho, babe)

Me- I have a fear of being left alone and severe abandonment issues and get very panicked over simple things and shit that’s stupid and I should probably have control over. tbh I have mental trauma that I need to get over and it was off of stupid shit so yeah don’t worry abt me

Ty Lee- slight anger issues? also slightly possessive (we all still love u tho ur cool)

Azula- abandonment issues, triggered by arguments, mild drug addiction, abuse, harassment, slight bipolar disorder (aka cyclothymia) anxiety and depression. (babe! you’re doing great, you’ve definitely taken care of yourself, I’m so proud of you!Tell us if ur hurt we wanna help)

Katara- ocd. severe ocd. and keeps her loved ones close (if we cross a line, tell us. we’ll help you stress clean)

Aang- abandonment issues, anxiety and just overall insecurity about himself and not acting masculine enough or some shot. (don’t worry about it tho! you’re perfect :))

Sokka- adhd! severe adhd. you need to get diagnosed, my dude. also, anxiety. like strong strong anxiety (you’re cool tho! don’t let this shit hold you back! we love you for who you are :))

Jet- abandonment issues, anxiety, depression, fear of fire. (I don’t like that you don’t talk much, but we love you no matter if you tell us or not. you’re cool!)

Zuko- oh man, here we go. abandonment issues, physical and mental abuse that led to touch aversion, suicide because you didn’t think you were good enough (you are, we love you) severe depression, lots of scars, drug addiction (both consensual and non consensual), second hand smoking, rape, domestic abuse, assault, harassment, anxiety, over a hundred hospital trips, panic attacks, anorexia, god there’s so much more and now I’m feeling sick because I’m so sorry Zuko

Boomer Man: everyone’s was bad but Suki, don’t downplay urself. Ur strong and amazing and trauma comes from dumbs stuff. It’s fine. We just gotta adjust and move on because it won’t go away not matter how much we want it too

Princess: shots fucking FIRED AND DAMN IS ZUKO’S PARAGRAPH LONG AND THERES MORE

Sparky: told you. I could win an Oscar for always acting like everythings ok

Gay Queen: thanks y’all! If any of you need help, please, please, please talk to us or your therapist or someone else you trust, and if you’re feeling suicidal, here’s the divide helpline: 800-273-8255

Emo Girl: um Zuko. That line was not very….healthy. Are you ok?

Pink Gymnast: yeah. Zuko, please talk to me! I always got ur back!

Sparky: idk I thought I was ready to see what happened again but seeing it all out and THERES MORE? idk. It feels like I lost even tho I somehow am supposed to have won

Gay Queen: I’m so sorry, I know it felt wrong while doing yours...I wish I had made sure to make all of y’all confirm your consent

Baddest Bitch: I….did I really ignore Ozai doing that to you all those years?

Sparky: hey, you didn't know, it’s fine

Baddest Bitch: you said it’s fine, not I’m fine.

Sugar Queen: Zuko! Did you just log off? Quick, where was he last?

Fuckboi Supreme: He was last with me, he just got up really fast and went to the bathroom, I’m going to check to make sure he’s not self harming

Boomer Man: damn I’m at the grocery store

Sparky: I went to go find the charger my phone was about to die not me

Fuckboi Supreme: well you should have said that

Princess: ok this is like, big stuff. Zuko did you ever get therapy

Sparky: uhhhhh….

Boomer Man: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE SENT YOU TO GROUP THERAPY

Sparky: yeah, you sent me, I just went to dunkin and told some random barista what was wrong with me

Sparky: I’ve never seen someone look so concerned

Twinkle Toes: bruh this is why therapists exist

Sparky: yeah but they cost a lot. Judgmental baristas dont

Twinkle Toes: BRO YOURE LITERALLY A MILLIOANRE WHADDYA MEAN THEY COST A LOT

Sparky: only cause I don’t waste money on stuff like therapy

Sugar Queen: I don’t even know how to respond

Twinkle Toes: THATS NOT A WASTE YOU FÖÓŁÊ

Boomer Man: I don’t even- what the fuck, Zuko?

Twinkle Toes: Zuko said some stupid shit so I had to stop him from saying the aforementioned stupid shit

Baddest Bitch: even I went to therapy

Pink Gymnast: damn

Sparky: I can live without it. I’m fine right now, and I didn’t use therapy.

Gay Queen: zuko. babe. you might be fine now but you might not be later. And that’s what therapists are there for! they help you heal!

Emo Girl: that’s not the fucking point of therapy Zuko it’s to help

Gay Queen: ha mai we have the same braincell

Sparky: I’m fine, I don’t need it

Fuckboi Supreme: Babe, please just go with one of us. One session, that’s all we ask for. I just want you to heal and let go of your horrible past

Sparky: no. I’m not doing some stupid therapy shit I’m fine. F I N E, fucking fine

Fuckboi Supreme: and see that’s what I said one week before I attempted suicide

Sparky: look, I don’t need it. I’ve been fine before I’m fine right now.

Gay Queen: … is anything we say going to make you come with us? you can go whenever you want, but at least try it

Sparky: depends. Will there be cookies?

Sugar Queen: we can get cookies.

Gay Queen: ofc there will be!

Sparky: I’ll take the cookies I’m not going to therapy

GayQueen: damn really played us all there huh zuko

Emo Girl: cmon Zuko. What’s it going to take

Sparky: give up? Like, I’m not going.

Baddest Bitch: Why are you so damn stubborn

Sparky: look I just don’t need it

Fuckboi Supreme: look, I’ll go with you and we can go to fucking France or whatever if you want after

Boomer Man: ill get you those pastries you like!

Pink Gymnast: I’ll go too and I’m arguably the least fucked up out of all of us

Princess: I am willing to give up my favorite beanie for you

Sparky: hm, no. Have fun in therapy.

Gay Queen: I’ll legit stop self harming for a month if you go

Sparky: excuse me? You self harm?

Gay Queen: … no?

Sparky: you didn’t say anything. Why.

Gay Queen: eh it’s no biggie I’m not cutting or anything

Sparky: YEAH NO FUCKING BIG DEAL ‘IM NOT CUTTING’ ‘IM EATING REGULARLY’ YOU THINK I DONT KNOW HOW TO PULL BULL ON SOMEONE? I LIVED WITH OZAI I HAD TO KNOW HOW TO SELF HARM WITHOUT SHOWING A DAMN THING

Gay Queen: so you’re coming then?

Sparky: I- what?

Gay Queen: that’s the deal- one session at the very least. If you don’t like it, then you don’t have to go again

Boomer Man: he just threw his phone against a wal, it shattered and now he just stormed off screaming about something and went out the door. Suki, he isn’t going to talk to you for a while.

Gay Queen: I just hope that he’ll be okay

Emo Girl: he won’t. He won’t and we all know it. He won’t pull anything but we all know he’s going to be ignoring us for a while. Especially Suki.

Gay Queen: well then. didn’t expect anything but it was worth a try.

Gay Queen: and damn. I really outed myself for no reason huh

Princess: do you actually self harm still?

Sugar Queen: she left

Princess: she’s funny I’m outside her door

Princess: Suki. Answers. Now.

Princess: she’s not opening the door

Princess: well I have spare keys. SUKI ANSWER

Princess: well fuck I guess, I’m gonna go in

Blind Bandit: Suki please. Suki we need you here

Blind Bandit: Yue are you in the apartment? I need to go to a meeting, so I trust you.

Princess: she isn’t cutting she just verbally abuses herself right now. Her phone died so….

Blind Bandit: do you have her? Is she going to be better?

Princess: I got her. She’ll be fine with some therapy again. Anyone know anything on Zuko?

Blind Bandit: okay, I’ll be there in 45 minutes

Boomer Man: ok, we all go to therapy start Monday because we are a fucking mess

Pink Gumnast: ^^ I second that

Emo Girl: that’s fair let’s go

Baddest Bitch: reason enough for me

Blind Bandit: To be honest I don’t really think I need therapy but I’ll go too

Princess: id like to argue but I can’t. We’re broken and ANYTHING ON ZUKO? ANYTHING AT ALL?

Fuckboi Supreme: yeah I’m pretty sure he’s in the master bedroom and he’s not letting either of us in so…

Boomer Man: he is ignoring us and idk what to do

Fuckboi Supreme: He’s playing depressing music and I’m pretty sure he’s just crying and not self harming so yeah

Emo Girl: fuck someone needs to go in, I’ll be there in two

Fuckboi Supreme: well he’s not letting me or Sokka. Anyone up to it? Not Suki Yue or toph.

Sugar Queen: I can try.

Twinkle Toes: yeah me too

Sugar Queen: WERE OUTSIDE OPEN THE DOOR

Boomer Man: wtf we texted two seconds ago who are you, Mai?

Sugar Queen: we left when the argument first started.

Pink Gymnast: oh fuck Azula are you okay?

Baddest Bitch: I- I don’t know? Zuko is hurt so badly and I didn’t even try to help him, I helped Ozai what kind of sick fucking monster am I?

Pink Gymnast: it’s okay, it’s not your fault, I’ll be there in a minute a swear don’t do anything

Baddest Bitch: you’re legit right next door what am I going to do

Pink Gymnast: idk but I’m getting blankets and cookies and all that good shit

Emo Girl: I have entered the apartment. Azula’s I mean.

Fuckboi Supreme: Oh okay. We’ve got aang and Katara here with Zuko so I think we’re good

Boomer Man: Zuko is holding firm. Katara and Aang can’t go in

Twinkle Toes: We’ll get him eventually. Don’t worry about us.

Princess: actually, I think Suki might get through to him

Chapter Text

TRIGGER WARNING
I swear this will get happier soon

***

Group Chat - What the fuck is life
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Sparky: I have a new phone

Gay Queen: fuckin nice

Sparky: this makes me feel great you know why?

Gay Queen: why

Sparky has officially left the chat

Boomer Man: oh.

Gay Queen: what the shit

Emo Girl: I bet we’re all blocked too. I’m getting the inside scoop from Iroh. I got some tea from the Jasmine Dragon both figuratively and literally

Gay Queen: probably. what did uncle iroh say?

Baddest Bitch: guess who fell into fucking depression again.

Emo Girl: YOU WHAT

Gay Queen: me and also probably you

Pink Gymnast: be right there

Gay Queen: hey, just out of curiously HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SPELL CURIOUSLURY did Zuko block jet and Sokka?

Princess: you can’t spell, Zuko blocked all of us including Jet and sokka and Suki I think the reason ur depressed and started self harming is actually because you were so dependant on talking to Zuko, now that you can’t, it’s messing with you

Gay Queen: yes I was aware of that

Gay Queen: also maybe but probably not. I’m also sick and on my period so that probably has to do with it too. it’s literally the worst of both worlds

Emo Girl: I feel you and I just tried talking to Zuko and he full on just ignored me and walked away

Gay Queen: yikes but not surprised

Pink Gymnast: can someone just please make sure that he doesn’t self harm?

Princess: Suki you should talk to him. It might work

Emo Girl: guys. Guys we have a problem

Gay Queen: what makes you think that he’ll listen to me?

Emo Girl: GUYS STOP ZUKO IS WEARING FULL SLEAVES IN 80° HES SELF HARMING POUND THE DAMN ALARM

Gay Queen: well oh shit I guess I can try

Gay Queen: I don’t wanna get him sick tho:/

Boomer Man: he rented a new apartment no one knows where it is so there was no chance anyways

Emo Girl: UNCLE IROH, ADD HIM TO THE CHAT QUICK

Gay Queen: damn

Blind Bandit has added Iroh to the chat

Emo Girl has changed name to Dragon of the West

Dragon of the West: Is everything ok? You all have a very distraught energy around you.

Gay Queen: Uncle Iroh, we need you to find Zuko. He’s not listening to any of us. (This is Suki btw)

Dragon of the West: Unfortunately, my nephew realized I was talking to you and has stopped responding to my texts or calls. I can’t help you.

Princess: :/ that sucks

Twinkle Toes: yeah it really does. Does anyone else know where to find him?

Dragon of the West: I must leave but I wish you the best on your journey to find my nephew. If I learn of his whereabouts, I shall inform you.

Gay Queen: Thank you uncle Iroh!

Dragon of the West has left the chat

Gay Queen: well it was worth a shot

Baddest Bitch: WAIT HE'S AT 67 OLIVE STREET IN THE APARTMENT COMPLEX 39 IN APARTMENT 32, KEY CODE 67923

Gay Queen: how do you know?? did you fricking hack him or some shit??

Baddest Bitch: I hacked his phone, no biggie.

Gay Queen: damn I was joking but ok

Emo Girl: go Suki go!

Gay Queen: genuinely though I’m sick and he’s extremely vulnerable rn…..

Boomer Man: then we have to wait till Suki’s better because no one else is getting through

Gay Queen: sorry guys. or I could wear a mask or some shit

Princess: guys. Turn on the news. Now.

Boomer Man: no. No, no, no, no, no.

Emo Girl: ‘Zuko, co-owner of Fire Nation Industries, found bleeding out in his apartment.’

Baddest Bitch: What did you just say.

Princess: AINT NOBODY GOT TIME TO REPEAT HURRY UP HOSPITAL NOW

Sugar Queen: shiT ON MY WAY WITH AANG

Gay Queen: me and Yue are in the car and on our way

Blind Bandit: Fuck this meeting, I’m on my way. Gerald is starting the car

Sugar Queen: I know this is serious but what kind of parent names their child Gerald?

Twinkle Toes: a severely fucked up type that’s who

Twinkle Toes: anyways me and Katara are two minutes away from the hospital

Boomer Man: HE JUST FLATLINED

Gay Queen: oh shit oh shit oh shit

Emo Girl: fuck panic attack go away

Baddest Bitch: thank the spirits for defibrillators, he’s back

Twinkle Toes: oh thank spirits we’re in the waiting room with Sokka and Jet in complete suspense

Emo Girl: guys. What if Zuko doesn’t make it?

Gay Queen: stop stop stop don’t think like that we can’t afford it

Baddest Bitch: What do you mean, ‘we can’t afford it’ his chances of living are lower than 3%.

Gay Queen: stop I can’t afford that he can’t die

Gay Queen: HE CANT FUCKING DIE

Boomer Man: FUCK HE FLATLINED AGAIN WHAT THE SHIT IS HAPPENEING IN THERE

Twinkle Toes: I don’t know, but Katara and I are both on the verge of tears

Baddest Bitch: where’s Ty Lee

Pink Gymnast: im on mg way. driving

Baddest Bitch: wtf? Guys, he breathing? His heart stopped but he’s breathing?

Pink Gymnast: GREAT! that’s better than nothing

Princess: wait. I just realized.

Blind Bandit: Who called the hospital?

Chapter Text

Group Chat - What the fuck is life
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Sparky: I did a dumb thing. If you all hadn’t noticed.

Gay Queen: hmmm no I don’t think we did

Gay Wueen: fr tho I’m sorry about that it’s my fault you went and though bad about yourself

Sparky: not really. Ozai harassed me into lunch then asked for something and before he came to the ‘location’ I was like eh what the fuck grabbed a knife, he called 911 and here we are.

Gay Queen: WAIT SI THAT WASNT A SUICIDE ATTEMPT????

Sparky: it was but it was more than that I didn’t have to deal Ozai’s utter BULLSHIT

Gay Queen: I mean I would too I guess

Sparky: so we’re good?

Gay Queen: … can I suggest therapy one more time or no?

Sparky: sure doesn’t mean imma listen

Gay Uqeen: *sigh* why are you so stubborn bro

Baddest Bitch: YOU TWO ARE GETTING FUCKING DRAGGED TO THERAPY WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. SUKI ALREADY AGREED AND ZUKO I SWEAR TO THE FUCKING SPIRITS I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF AND THEN BRING YOU BACK BECAUSE YOU DIED WITH AN UNSTABLE MIND

Gay Queen: ^^ yeah Azula is my internal monologue

Sparky: ….I am now afraid to say no.

Sugar Queen: you should be.

Twinkle Toes: you better be, sifu hotman

Boomer Man: the fact that you actually thought you even had a choice is funny

Pink Gymnast: yeah, what they all said, except only go if you’re comformateble !

Emo Girl: in all honesty, Ty Lee your spelling is shit like Zuko’s mental health. He gets a therpsut, you get a tutor.

Pink Gymanst: damn none of us can spell huh

Sparky: I- wtf shots fucking FIRED, I feel attacked

Gay Queen: THERPSUT IM TRYING SO HARD NOT TO LAUGH

Blind Bandit: YALL my text to speech broke trying to read that

Gay Queen: HENCE the reason I’m literally crying laughing

Princess: my phone keeps dying I need a new one zuKO LETS GO PHONE SHOPPING

Sparky: I am in a fucking hospital because I almost died.

Sparky: what time are we leaving?

Gay Queen: can I come? I don’t need a new phone or anything I just wanna get out of the house

Princess: Oh my god, wtf does Suki autocorrect to Zuko you two aren’t that similar- I take that back never mind

Gay Queen: yO WHAT IF ME AND ZUKO COSPLAYED AS EAHOTHER FOR A DAY

Sparky: THAT WOULD BE PRETTY FIRE NGL ALL I GOTTA DO IS WEAR BIG CLOTHES AND LAUGH ND CRY AND THEN CONTINUE DOING THAT ALL DAY SO PRETTY MUCH MY REGULAR LIFE SCHEDULE

Pink Gymnast: I CALL DOING MAKEUP

Gay Queen: dAMN XUKO YOU DIDNT HAVE TO GO THAT HARD

Sparky. XUKO AM I BEING CHEATED ON BY SOME RIP OFF CHEEZ IT???

Gay Queen: UP SHUT THE FUCK YOU KNOW IT WAS A TYPO

Sugar Queen: how the actual FUCK does one respond to being called a cheez it

Gay Queen: no idea tbh

Emo Girl: I just fell down the stairs. Again. How does this keep happening to me

Twinkle Toes: lemme guess: you teleported somewhere?

Baddest Bitch: she ain’t in the house

Emo Girl: ain’t?

Twinkle Toes: I was KIDDING ASDGKFKSLKL

Baddest Bitch: wtf how does isn’t autocorrect to ain’t

Gay Queen: Azula my good hoe you’re gay when was the last time you actually used isn’t instead of aint

Baddest Bitch: have you forgotten my SAT score? I am not an idiot I’m simply a smart gay.

Gay Queen: completely fucking iRRELEVENT

Sparky: rare pikachu evolution right there Azula

Gay Queen: haaha Azula as a Pokémon lmaooo I’m cackling

Emo Girl: that would actually be one deadly purple pikachu

Gay Queen: oh fuck I was imagining her as a pikachu type but now I can picture her getting huge ass wings and shit

Emo Girl: purple is just Azula’s vibe of death and she would be a CHARIZARD

Sparky: the fuck is a charizard all I know is a pikachu

Gay Queen: okay was I the only one who actually never played Pokémon?

Sparky: I legit know nothing

Gay Queen: THANK YOU ZUKO

Gay Queen: well I know pilachu bulbasoaur and uh charizard? I think?

Princess: I- I used to play

Sparky: the fuck is a bulbasoaor sounds like some kinky BDSM shit right there ngl

Gay Queen: cool Yue teach me

Boomer Man: Zuko you tainted Pokémon.

Fuckboi Supreme: no Zuko is our lil pikachu

Sparky: was I just called a pikachu. In an endearing manner.

Sugar Queen: I just realized. I’m sitting next to Zuko at the hospital even tho he’s ok enough to leave.

Gay Queen: for whatever reason I read leave as levitate

Sugar Queen: ngl I did too and I wrote the damn thing

Gay Queen: lmao we’re queens who can’t read

Sparky: it’s not uncommon to find dumb royalty

Baddest Bitch: this is true. I mean. We know Yue and I’m pretty sure she’s so how related to royalty

Princess: I’d argue but honestly I only know about space. Ask me about math and I’ll tell you that’s the answer is Egypt

Gay Queen: lmao you can’t even spell no wonder you’re dumb royalty

Princess: better spelling than you, fellow dumb royal

Gay Queen: we’re equal levels of stupid

Sparky: I am singing to Dua Lipa in the car with Katara as we’re going to Starbucks.

Gay Queen: aw that sounds so sweet

Sugar Queen: why the actual FUCK DID NO ONE TELL ME THAT ZUKO SINGS LIKE A FUCKING ANGEL I CAN SEE THE DAMN HALO THE WORLD IS BRIGHTER AND I ACTUALLY FEEL PRODUCTIVE WTF ZUKO I FEEL LIED TO

Gay Queen: oh yeah. Zuko sings like an angel.

Sparky: I sound like a rusty drain pipe that’s wheezing about death.

Gay Queen: Zuko we should do a duet

Baddest Bitch: did you guys know that Zuko was actually offered a record deal and could have made an album with like Selena Gomez and Bebe Rexha and shit

Gay Queen: damnnnnnn did not now that

Sparky: I was like 18 itS NOT A BIG DEAL

Twinkle Toes: why is it so FUCKING cold?? I hate New England weather miss y’all

Sparky: WAIT HOW ARE YOU IN NEW ENGLAND

Twinkle Toes: I wanna go back homeree

Sparky: I REITERATE: HOW ARE YOU IN NEW ENGLAND

Twinkle Toes: oh my uncle wanted me to visit for his dead sons funeral so I had to fly out real quick

Sparky: dead soN? IS IT THE ALCOHOLIC ONE OR THE NICE ONE

Twinkle Toes: no idek who it is tbh

Sparky: MY CHILD HOW COULD YOU LEAVE

Twinkle Toes; I’m soRRY I LL BE BACK IN A DAY DAD

Baddest Bitch: like reading through the script of a damn soap opera

Blind Bandit: Yeah it really is, and plus my text to voice has different voices for all of you so it’s even more entertaining

Sparky: woah, that’s some advanced shit, and say his to Gerald for me

Blind Bandit: Yeah well it’s easy to get when you’re rich as fuck

Blind Bandit: also Gerald says hi

Sparky: he reSPONDED HE NEVER RESPONDS WHEN I SAY HI

Blind Bandit: My hoes, he’s tired after having to cart me around everywhere today he just. Doesn’t give a single fuck

Boomer Man: whos Gerald again. And mood

Gay Queen: he’s my girlfriends servant SOKKA THIS IS WHY YOURE DUMBBB

Boomer Man: looK MY BOYFRIEND JUST ALMOST DIED LEAVE ME ALONE

Gay Queen: okay fair

Sparky: I just got a pumpkin spice latte like all those basic bitches and whAT THE FUCK IS THIS DISGUSTING PIECE OF SHIT

Gay Queen: I’ve never tried it but idk it doesn’t seem terrible

Sugar Queen: look. I tried to warn you Zuko

Pink Gymnast: I actually like it but it’s not my favorite favorite

Sparky: I need some BLEACH, and DISINFECTANT SPRAY, and FUCKING WINDEX TO GET THIS NASTY SHIT OFF MY TONGUE I TELL YOU AND DRUK IS OVER HER SURVIVNG ON THE STUFF

Twinkle Toes: I don’t drink coffee it’s all crap

Gay Queen: wow sOMEONE is feeling dramatic today

Sparky: waiT DOGS CANT DRINK COFFEE DRUK COME BACK

Fuckboi Supreme: Did you guys know that Zuko had a theater phase?

Sugar Queen: I’m not sure what’s happening in the car or the chat but both are vastly entertaining

Sparky: did you guys know I had the choice to be cast as Thomas Jefferson in Hamilton but I turned it down because of college?

Blind Bandit: Same Katara, same.

Fuckboi Supreme: No dAMMJT ZUKO YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE EMBARRESED

Sparky: shaME IS NOTHING BUT A GAME CHILD I KNOW MY CARDS TO PLAY

Gay Queen: wow props to him (hehe did you like my pun)

Sparky: prop comedy isn’t funny Suki (😉)

Twinkle Toes: damn that line is lit I’m keeping it

Gay Queen: was that an innUENEDODO

Sparky: mayhaps

Gay Queen: ILLEGAL

Twinkle Toes: hahahahha every time I hear someone say mayhaps I think of that meme

Boomer Man: WAIT HOLD THE PHOEN YOU HAVE UP THE PART OF THOMAS JEFFERSON FOR FUCKING SCHOOL?

Sparky: that’s what I said yes

Boomer Man: IM CRYING WHY I LOVED HIS CHARACTER

Gay Queen: ?? You watched the show?

Boomer Man: YOU HAVENT

Sparky: did yoU JUST INSINUATE THAT ME AND SUKI HAVENT WATCHED THE SHOW

Gay Queen: EXCUSE YOU SOKKA I was saying that you watched ZUKO perform?

Boomer Man: no but I’ve heard him sing a lot and now I need a show where it’s Zuko singing centric

Twinkle Toes: okay wow this chat is a disaster

Twinkle Toes: lemme just say that my toes are numb and my lios are dryer than the Sahara desert and I’ve only been here for like 2 days

Sugar Queen: we have secured the coffee from Druk. And Aang don’t say that and don’t get sick please

Twinkle Tows: I’m not! The weather here is just,,, like that

Emo Girl: waif you still hadn’t gotten the coffee from Druk

Fuckboi Suprmee: Wait, you have druk?

Sparky: I have been typing with one hand this whole time and yes Jet we have Druk.

Fuckboi Supreme: oh good

Sparky: are you admitting to LIKING DRUK I KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME

Fuckboi Supreme: I never said I didn’t??

Emo Girl: it was heavily insinuated

Fuckboi Supreme: Look just because I don’t want it to shed or piss on me doesn’t mean I don’t like dogs

Sparky: I am just vibing with Katara and honestly it’s just so different from having constant existential crisises with Suki

Gay Queen: how do I respond to that

Sparky: you don’t I love you and that’s all that matters

Gay Queen: okay thansk

Sugar Queen: my god.

Sugar Queen: Zuko where did you go

Chapter Text

Group Chat - What the fuck is life
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Sparky: oh you left me at dunkin while we were picking up donuts. I’m vibing in the back booth

Sugar Queen: well shit.

Gay Queen: are you like,,, good??

Sparky: I’m eating donuts is it possible not to be good

Blind Bandit: Didn’t know that Lil Miss Goody Two Shoes had it in her to swear

Baddest Bitch: Ok, so first me Ty Lee and Mai are going on some no technology thing and two Toph your going to die and third I’m fairly certain Katara swears more than me

Emo Girl: suffering here I come

Sugar Queen: Toph’s about to join you

Gay Queen: rip toph

Sparky: bye azula mai and ty lee. JET SOKKA I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU

Fuckboi Supreme: yes??

Sparky: I WANT A CHILD PLEASE

Fuckboi Supreme: ? okay I’ll steal one from Babies R Us

Boomer Man: isn’t Aang your child

Sparky: NO HE ISNT

Sugar Queen: how long do you think Zuko is gonna last

Princess: not long

Twinkle Toes: dear diary, today I got disowned by my dad

Gay Queen: pfffttt aang

Sparky: AANG MY BABY IM SORRY COME BACK IM MAKING HOT CHOCOLATE

Twinkle Toes: dear diary, today my dad re-adopted me

Boomer Man: wtf kinda shitted up childhood trauma diary is this

Twinkle Toes: yes

Gay Queen: ???? what the shit

Sparky: I need one of those

Blind Bandit: Aang really out here being angsty like a teenager huh

Sparky: you mean….AANGSTY

Gay Queen: what,,, what does that mean Zuko why are you like this

Sparky: idk I’m on a lot of meds right now. Apparently suiciding hurts

Gay Queen: hey I’m going to try typing with my eyes clsoed

Sparky: you can’t afford that

Gay Queen: hey Zuko you’re my best friend and you’re anweslne

Sparky: I LOVE YOU TOO AND THAT WAS TOTALLY AUTOCORRECT BUT STILL COME WE HAVE HOT CHOCOLATE AND WARM HUGS

Gay Queen: it really was though

Gay Queen: fuck yeah I’m coming over

Boomer Man: I legit have four houses; all of our dorms

Twinkle Toes: wait is that the same hot chocolate that you were making to celebrate my adoption

Sparky: no. You like peppermint and Suki likes milk chocolate hot chocolate they’re separate you idiot

Twinkle Toes: does that mean I’m not invited

Sparky: NO YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO COME I JUST MADE SEVEN DIFFERENT TYPES OF HOT CHOCOLATE BECAUSE ALL OF YOU ARE INDECISIVE FUCKERS

Gay Queen: aw I didn’t even know that I liked milk chocolate lit zuko

Twinkle Toes: great I was going to come over anyways dad

Sparky: I also made eclairs. Did you know I could bake? Jet didnt. He had an orgasm just eating them

Gay Queen: SAMN THOSE ARE HARD TO MAKE THOUGH I TRIED

Boomer Man: I ate them and my fucking god they were fire

Sparky: you ate it out of the over what the fuck did you think it would be ice

Fuckboi Supreme: I for one did NOT orgasm because of the eclair

Sparky: falSE

Gay Queen: ewwwww tmi tmi tmi

Sparky: why I don’t get- oh. OH SAMN

Gay Queen: oh SAMN

Sparky: I have quoted you and now shall forever say SAMN

Gay Queen: this is child harrassment

Blind Bandit: More like animal abuse

Boomer Man: samn shits fired

Gay Queen: shits fired indeed

Boomer Man: fuck the shut up

Sparky: I SAID THAT ONCE, ONCE

Gay Queen: false you said that like three times in the past ten minutes when me and aang were bullying you

Sparky: I thought we ver friends

Gay Queen: damn you turned German for a second there

Sparky: I know fluent German actually

Gay Queen: did I ask for you to flex on my bilingual ass

Sparky: yes, yes you did

Boomer Man: I’m dumb as fuck and ur smart ass over here flexing

Twinkle Toes: lol and here I am barel able to speak cohery englush

Sparky: I can barely understand how you guys live without being able to speak, ‘cohery englush’

Twinkle Toes: IM TIRED AND TYPUNG WITH HOT CHOCOLATE IN ONE HAND

Sparky: I know you're in my lap with Druk and appa next to us

Gay Queen: can confirm

Boomer Man: where r u I’m legit in the same house wtf

Sparky: YOULL NEVER FIND US

Gay Queen: oh we’re all chilling in zuko’s giant ass lounge

Sparky: damn it Suki

Gay Queen: oops sorry didn’t see that

Sparky: no shit Sherlock

Sugar Queen: I’m also under the millions of blankets on the lounge

Twinkle Toes: you’re in here????

Sparky: yeah I’m holding her hand

Twinkle Toes: I would accuse you of trying to steal my girl but then I remembered that everyone here is gay

Twinkle Toes: tbh I should be more scared of Suki stealing her

Sparky: I totally could snatch Katara if I wasn’t gay because FUCK SHES HOT

Gay Queen: yeah she is ALSO HEY ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF CHEATING ON MY BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND

Sugar Queen: Suki is honestly not my type but I could see myself with Zuko. Ok that’s false, I could see myself with Suki too

Blind Bandit: I would be kinda sad if Suki cheated on me for Katara but I guess I’d understand

Sparky: I actually had a crush on Katara till I realized I was gay then I noped outta those feelings

Gay Queen: and THATS the tea sis

Sugar Queen: I’m fairly certain I also liked Zuko at one point but thought he was dating Suki

Twinkle Toes: ?? damn this is a wild ride

Sparky: ME DATING SUKI WOULD BE LIKE KATARA DATING SOKKA

Gay Queen: yeah ew

Boomer Man: DISGUSTING

Sugar Queen: LOOK JUST CAUSE WE’RE AMERICAN DOES NOT MEAN WE ARE FROM ALABAMA AND WE ARENT EVEN AMERICAN WERE NATIVE AMERICAN

Gay Queen: yeah they’re way better than your run of the mill frat boys (no offense Jet)

Sparky: Jet honestly played me so hard I thought he was straight but then I was pinned against the gym lockers and I was like nope he isn’t straight

Fuckboi Supreme: Seriously you wouldn’t believe how oblivious this stupid idiot is

Boomer Man: me and Jet had been dating for two months and Zuko thought our kisses were ‘platonic’

Gay Queen: samN HE WOULD

Sparky: LOOK IM GAY STOP HARRASSING ME I DIDNT KNOW

Gay Queen: SO AM I BUT IM NOT AN KBLIVIOUS BOTTOM LIKE YOU

Sparky: YOU ARE SO A BOTTOM TOPH WOULDNT BOTTOM IF HER LIFE DEPENDED ON IT

Gay Queen: BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME WE FUCK

Sparky: BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME IM CIS

Gay Queen: ?? unrelated but cool

Sparky: wait. That was not how I expected coming out.

Gay Queen: wait so are you female to male or male to female or??

Sparky: imma let you think about that

Gay Queen: ITS A GENUINE WURSTION

Sparky: well the answer to your wurstion is female to male

Gay Queen: lit

Boomer Man: I legit just sat down to get some popcorn and Zuko exposed himself

Fuckboi Supreme: yeah see he’s a disaster gay that’s why

Sparky: looK YOU DONT LOOK GAY OK

Fuckboi Supreme: am I supposed to be offended?

Boomer Man: I- and I do?

Sparky: NO AND YES LOOK I DONT KNOW OK

Gay Queen: we stab our disaster children

Sparky: STAB EXCUSE ME

Gay Wueen: STAN NOT STAB STAN

Sugar Queen: wait, if Zuko is holding my hand and is holding Suki’s hand how the fuck is he typing

Sparky: I’m also magic like Mai

Boomer Man: wtf

Gay Queen: hmm so what are everyone’s superpowers?

Sparky: mai can teleport, azula defies the laws of intelligence, and ty lee does not have bones I tell you

Gay Queen: seriously she doES NOT HAVE BONES SHES LIKE JELLY OR SOME SHIT

Boomer Man: Suki and Zuko can survive after all of those coffees, they legit chugged like six in an hour. EACH

Gay Queen: bold of you to assume I’m still physically alive

Sparky: Aang can just yeet out of anywhere and Katara….she’s Katara

Gay Queen: Katara has our brain cells that’s enough of a superpower

Boomer Man: why did that make sense

Fuckboi Supreme: what about me toph Yue and sokka

Sparky: toph is blind and can see everything like how does one do that and Yue always knows where everyone is and how to get to them

Blind Bandit: I Can See Everything y’all should be scared

Sparky: sokka is just amusing and when you’re depressed and friends with depressed people that’s enough honestly. Jet is just vibing.

Fuckboi Supreme: thansk

Sparky: your welcoem

Fuckboi Supreme: no probmlr

Sparky: I love you so much sometimes

Fuckboi Supreme: same love you

Princess: ew love disgusting

Sparky: Yue is also over here eating chocolates with us because she doesn’t like hot chocolate and I remembered

Sparky: WAIT WHERE'S DRUK AND APPA

Chapter Text

Group Chat - What the fuck is life
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Sparky: I cannot find Druk or Appa

Twinkle Toes: I dropped him off at your house tho??

Sparky: yeah well how they’re fucking GONE

Twinkle Toes: bro thats my DOG im crying no one talk to me

Sparky: ALL RIGHT WHOEVER CAME IN LAST LEFT THE DOOR OPEN AND LOST THE DOGS

Princess: I came last but I shut the door

Gay Queen: wait but didnt sokka leave to go get us chipotle?

Sugar Queen: wait. ITS TOMORROW?

Gay Queen: ??? what

Sparky: Bitch it’s 4 am. Who the hell said anything about tomorrow?

Gay Queen: oh we’re counting by actual days? whack

Sugar Queen: I have not not slept for this long in a long time

Twinkle Toes: lmao rip

Sparky: damn, we gotta get u used to it, summer break is coming and we’re all going to that Hawaii house. Wait. Wait. Was it Hawai’i or Egypt?

Gay Queen: we arE why DOES NO ONE TELL ME ANYTHING

Sparky: LOOK I ALREADY PACKED YOUR SHIT OK AND MINE ITS IN THE SAME SUITCASE AND WE ALREADY HAVE A LOT OF SHIT IN EACH OF THE HOUSES

Gay Queen: zUKO DID YOU BREAK INTO MY HOUSE TO PACK MY CLOTHES

Sparky: no, I did it that day after the seven eleven raid.

Boomer Man: do y’all ever realize that in total, we all have like,,,16 houses with like 12 of them being mansions cause we have rich friends

Twinkle Toes: well. huh.

Sparky: it’s not 16. Toph has 4. Me and Azula have 7. Yue has 5. That’s like,,,30.

Blind Bandit: Go the fuck to sleep or kick me from this chat I keep getting spammed by yall

Boomer Man: you actually sleep????

Blind Bandit: yeS I pride myself on not sleep depriving myself

Sparky has blocked notifications for Blind Bandit

Sparky: fixed it

Gay Queen: she just rolled over and told me to tell you thansk

Sparky: you’re welcoem

Gay Queen: thanks*

Sparky: WAIT I JUST DID THE MATH WE DO HAVE 16 MANSIONS HOLY SHIT

Gay Queen: huh, one of us can do math

Boomer Man: wait. I thought Azula said we were going to Florida

Gay Queen: or wait if sokka counted first that means two of us can lol im dumb

Sparky: damn three people that can math

Sugar Queen: wait but I thought we were going to the Europe one? Wtf?

Gay Queen: okay but galaxy brain- what if we went everywhere

Sparky: smart. But where are we going FIRST?

Twinkle Toes: can we go to hawaii first

Princess: me and Azula already made a list while y’all were snoozing and getting high off of pop tarts

Gay Queen: I mean, some of us genuinely were high

Sparky: I admit I was not completely sober

Twinkle Toes: DONT DO DRUGS KIDS

Princess: first we’re going to Hawaii, then we’re going to France, Spain, Italy, Egypt, Japan, China, Quebec, Indonesia, Moscow, and

Baddest Bitch: Germany, Denmark, Sweden, Austria, Australia, and finally New Zealand.

Twinkle Toes: is summer even that long?

Gay Queen: so all of yall rich people are gonna carry our broke asses huh

Sparky: Azula running the company earns us 60 million a month. We can afford it. BUT I ALSO HELP SO LIKE...YEAH

Gay Queen: stop flexing zuko

Sparky: the fuck do you mean flexing we’ve been to the vacation houses twenty times each and you even have clothes at all of them. At this point I don’t even know who owns what

Gay Queen: lol

Princess: tbh I’m with Zuko. Who hell owns those houses?

Gay Queen: no fuckin clue my good hoe

Boomer Man: when we go to Quebec I need to get my sweatshirt back. It’s been there for like,,,,,4 years

Twinkle Toes: lmao rip

Sparky: remember that one time Aang forgot Appa in Sweden

Gay Queen: speaking of, where ARE APPA AND DRUK

Sparky: oh they were next to me the whole time I thought it was Katara’s hair

Sugar Queen: Bitch?

Twinkle Toes: LMAOOOOOOO

Twinkle Toes: can confirm kat’s hair is like a dog its suffocating to sleep next to

Sparky: NO NO NO I MEANT LIKE KATARA HAD LONG SOFT HAIR

Sugar Queen: thank you Zuko. And I also left my favorite sandals in Australia so….

Boomer Man: tf are Mai Ty Lee and Azula

Baddest Bitch: Sleeping like fucking wimps

Sparky: sometimes I forget that it’s 4 am

Gay Queen: that moment of panic when you try to open a bag of chips at 4 am then realize your girlfriend’s gonna kill you

Sparky: once Aang and Sokka didn’t stop the microwave in time. It was a dark dark day

Twinkle Toes: yeah Katara nearly murdered us

Sugar Queen: Aang slept on the couch for a week.

Gay Queen: F in the chat to aang

Fuckboi Supreme: F

Boomer Man: wait ur awake

Fuckboi Supreme: no

Sparky: IF UR AWAKE WHY ARENT YOU IN THE BASEMENT MOVIE THEATRE WITH THE REST OF US

Fuckboi Supreme: im sleeping cant hear you

Sparky: fine then, I’ll drag you here

Fuckboi Supreme: snzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sugar Queen: he just ran out of the room, pop tart in one hand and Suki in the other

Twinkle Toes: damn he’s really an anime girl huh

Princess: he’s fast like damn wtf CANT this boy do?

Boomer Man: sleep.

Princess: touché.

Sparky: I have grabbed the Jet

Gay Queen: rip

Fuckboi Supreme: help

Sparky: I take it back the Jet has grabbed me

Gay Queen: ew theyre gonna make out

Boomer Man: it’s like Zuko forgets that me and Jet can throw him over our shoulder without even trying

Twinkle Toes: RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?

Sparky: I FINALLY TRICKED HIM INTO COMING I WIN AT LIFE

Twinkle Toes: coming, huh?

Sparky: fuck the shut up aang. I MEANT SHUT THE FUCK UP MY AUTOCORRECT HATES ME SO MUCH IT PULLED A FUCKING UNO REVERSE CARD

Boomer Man: damn that was a trick, that’s cold

Twinkle Toes: lamo rip zuko

Sugar Queen: lamo. You don’t even have the excuse of being gay

Twinkle Toes: shuT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I CANT HEAR YOU LALALALALALA

Baddest Bitch: Yes?

Baddest Bitch: Wait no I didn’t mean-

Sparky: AHA SO YOU DO ADMIT YOUR NICKNAME IS LALA

Baddest Bitch: SHUT UP I SAID NO SUCH THING

Twinkle Toes: ???????

Sparky: Azula calls me Zuzu so in return I used to call her Lala.

Twinkle Toes: SIFU LALA HELP ME

Baddest Bitch: STOP! STOP THIS INSTANT!

Twinkle Toes: seriously though LALA IS SO ADORABLE

Sparky: RIGHT?!

Baddest Bitch: I’m deleting this all before Ty Lee or Mai find out.

Twinkle Toes: that cant stop me ill tell them

Emo Girl: Lala? That’s actually pretty cute and I don’t find things cute

Pink Gymnast: Lala ily! gn

Sparky: IF YOUR ALL AWAKE THEN COME OVER HERE

Pink Gymnast: no we werent aang actually called us to tell us to look at the chat

Baddest Bitch: AANG YOU PIECE OF SHIT GET OVER HERE

Twinkle Toes: fuckfuckfcukfuckfuckfuckfu

Sparky: y’all wanna know a funny story while Aang’s being mauled?

Gay Queen: sure go ahead

Sparky: one time I tried using public transport, so gross btw, and I fell asleep and some guy stole my socks. And left my shoes. THE SHOES WERE $400 AND THE SOCKS WERE $2 WHAT WAS THAT MAN THINKING

Gay Queen: and here i am using it everyday

Fuckboi Supreme: Socks?????

Sparky: socks.

Boomer Man: Suki is lying we all know Zuko and you drive around in the Tesla all day to starbucks

Sparky: we’ve been exposed. BUT IN OUR DEFENSE SOMETIMES WE GET BOBA

Gay Queen: BOBA IS WORTH ANYTHING EVEN PUBLIC TRANSPORT

Sparky: DID YOU KNOW I CAN MAKE BOBA

Gay Queen: yeah we made it togther and ur hands were like blue for a week

Boomer Man: it was blue and really fucking good. Also the blue wouldn’t come off and one day it just like,,,disappeared

Gay Queen: why are the birds so loud

Sparky: idk I’m going to bed now, night

Gay Queen: zuko? Sleeping? Unbelievable i guess we should sleep too

Sugar Queen: night AND REMEMBER TO PACK WE LEAVE TOMORROW

Twinkle Toes: yessir!

Boomer Man: WAIT TOMORROW I THOUGHT IT WAS NEXT WEEK

Sugar Queen: you are a mess.

Chapter Text

Group Chat - VACATION TIME BITCHES
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Sparky: ngl, Hawaii is pretty dope

Boomer Man: never say that again

Sparky: I regretted it the second it left my mouth

Sugar Queen: but it is nice. Me and Aang are at a beach

Sparky: I’m with Suki and Yue….somewhere

Princess: honestly where the fuck are we

Gay Queen: no fucking clue my good hoe

Fuckboi Supreme: I’m with Sokka on the giant ass porch like did we buy the island of Hawaii

Sparky: it’s not even that big

Blind Bandit: that’s what she said

Gay Queen: lol

Blind Bandit: lol

Baddest Bitch: I’m with Mai and Ty Lee, kicking ass at volleyball

Sparky: Toph, where you at?

Blind Bandit: I’m with Appa and Druk at some massage place. This place if fucking nice but I almost killed someone that grabbed me from behind

Sparky: why are you alone :( come join us

Blind Bandit: Suki went to grab us drinks form the bar across the street

Sparky: wait, IS THAT WHERE WE ARE I OWN THAT BAR

Gay Queen: idk I’m at the one near CVS

Sparky: Bitch I’m right next to you

Gay Queen: OH DAMN DIDNT SEE YOU

Princess: also Suki that isn’t the medial CVS it’s a BDSM shop

Sparky: NOPE NOPITY NOPE NOPE ONE BDSM MOVIE EXPERIENCE IS ENOUGH WE’RE LEVAING THIS IS NOT MY BAR NOPE TO THE FUCKING NOPE

Gay Queen: oh? huh

Boomer Man: THAT WAS TRAUMATIZING MY GUY

Fuckboi Supreme: Sokka. Love. Did you just call our boyfriend of eight years “my guy”?

Sparky: why don’t I get called love. All I get is ‘my guy’ from sooka

Fuckboi Supreme: yeah Sooka can be annoying huh, love?

Boomer Man: SOOKA???

Sparky: SOOKA LMFAOOOO I FEEL BETTER

Fuckboi Supreme: you called him your guy and come on babe you deserved that

Boomer Man: fair

Emo Girl: I just popped a volleyball with my nails that have been chewed to stubs how is that possible

Pink Gymnast: babe they’re still sharp as fuck

Baddest Bitch: I can attest I have a scar on my hip from when Mai scratched me because of….well that’s none of your business

Gay Queen: ewrweweweewwew no one wants to know that

Baddest Bitch: hence why I said it was none of your business

Gay Queen: you could have just said mai scratched me once and I still have a scar and left it at that

Baddest Bitch: look we all wish we had the last five seconds of our life back

Sugar Queen: guys I’m lost

Twinkle Toes: where are all of you Katara left me at the hote
and said she’d be back soon but y’all dragged her somewhere and now I’m lost

Twinkle Toes: you’re lost? IM LOST KATARA THIS IS BAD

Sugar Queen: you fuckING IDIOT YOURE ACROSS THE HALL FROM ME WTF ARE YOU TAKJING ABOUT

Twinkle Toes: oh okay nvm

Sparky: guys I just got asked out by so many bikini wearing white girls and Suki keeps laughing at me and this is torturous cause they keep telling me being gay is fake or a faze like bitch stfu nobody asked

Fuckboi Supreme: turn on your location services

Sparky: um what

Fuckboi Supreme: I’ll show them that you’re really gay and not in a phase

Sparky: ok, sex in public places is illegal

Fuckboi Supreme: NO NO THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT I MEANT ID KISS YOU

Sparky: pfft as if that’s worked before

Princess: skinny dipping isn’t illegal tho

Twinkle Toes: y’know Jet thinks he’s such a top but I feel like it’s really Sokka, and Jet and Zuko take turns bottoming

Boomer Man: nah. Bottoming isn’t my thing and Zuko couldn’t top if his life depended on it. Jets a switch but after all of our past trauma he also prefers to top tho he can go either ways

Twinkle Toes: that’s what I said????

Sparky: OK MOVING ON I JUST SIGHED UP TO GO CLIFF DIVING WITH SUKI AND YUE

Gay Queen: and don’t try to talk us out of it the instructor said it was fun

Princess: also, don’t try this at home kids

Gay Queen: @twinkel toes, @blind bandit, wanna join us?

Sparky: GUYS DID YOU KNOW I ACCIDENTALLY PUT IN KATARA’S NUMBER FOR EMERGENCY NUMBER BECAUSE OF OUR MIDDLE SCHOOL IDIOCY

Gay Queen: lmfao

Sugar Queen: then who’d you put

Sparky: no I still put u don’t get me wrong

Twinkle Toes: what’s happening

Sparky: NO SUKI WE ARE NOT LETTING TOPH OR AANG JOIN THEY ARE MY CHULDREN AND THEY CANT DIE

Gay Queen: WHG JOT THEYRE MY GIRLFRIEND AND KID BROTHER

Sparky: NO THATS NOT HOW THIS OWRKS

Gay Queen: COME ON

Sparky: NO I REFUSE

Twinkle Toes: I’m down for it if Katara lets me

Sugar Queen: zukO U IDIOT U SOGNED ME UP FOR IT TOO

Blind Bandit: Fuck yeah I’m coming

Gay Queen: lmaoo anyone else? the gays, the lesbians?

Sparky: I am against Aang and Toph. Toph might get hurt AND IM NOT JUDGING BECAUSE SHES BLIND SHE JUST HAS A FERRIBLE TRACK RECORD WITH WATER

Blind Bandit: You’re being homophobic. This is a crime against the gays

Sparky: I- I’m not even sure how to respond. Also I got arrested help

Blind Bandit: YOU LET ME GO SKYDIVING, GODDAMIT

Boomer Man: YOU GOT ARRESTED WTF

Twinkle Toes: who got arrested??? please what’s happening help me

Sparky: TOPH THAT WAS DIFFERENT AND SOMEONE NEEDS TO PICK ME UP FROM THE DAMN POLICE STATION

Twinkle Toes: WHATS HAPPENING

Sparky: APPARENTLY SAYING NO TO A BIKINI MODEL AND BEING GAY IS FUCKING ILLEGAL LIKE DAMN BITCH FUCK OFF

Gay Queen: turns out the skydiving instructor was actually a shadyass drug dealer who wanted to get us high so like Toph please send Gerald over

Blind Bandit: He’s on his way

Gay Queen: thanks love you

Blind Bandit: ILY

Princess: IM COMING AND ABOUT SNATCH THE FUCKING WEAVE OFF OF THAT BARBIE PLASTIC IMPLANTED BITCH

Twinkle Toes: literally send help how did you all do this we’ve only been here for like 2 hours

Sparky: damn why did I have to be hot, I wouldn’t get arrested this much then

Fuckboi Supreme: what a crime. 🙄

Sparky: LOOK IM LEGIT BEING HARASSED BY POLIVE OFFICERS THAT THINK BEING GAY IS A SIN STOP ABUSING ME AND FUCKING PTSD IS A BITCH

Twinkle Toes: im quaking Jet isn’t even being passive aggressive he’s being just straight up aggressive now

Fuckboi Supreme: anyways I’m omw! And Sokka better get his sorry ass over here too

Boomer Man: I’m outside. They won’t let me in? Wtf?

Fuckboi Supreme: well damn lemme see if I have better luck

Princess: ok thaTS IT IM PULLING THE ‘IMMA CALL MY DADDY’ CARD AND KILL SOME BITCHES

Gay Queen: lol okay pop off girl

Sparky: ok so some very afraid police officer sort me out and I don’t- I really need to learn to scroll up

Gay Queen: mmm yeah

Gay Queen: Id say the tea is hot but it’s too gd hot here so the tea is gonna be freezing

Sparky: we all love iced tea

Baddest Bitch: we went to go find a replacement volleyball and you get ARRESTED AGAIN

Emo Girl: again?

Gay Queen: again??? also Zuko we’re all gay ofc we love iced tea

Sparky: I have a big history with gay crimes cause apparently liking guys is a sin

Sparky: I got shot once that was an experience

Gay Queen: wish society didn’t fuckin suck duck all the time
YOU GOT SHOT WHAT THE SHIT ZUKO

Sparky: ah yes, sucking duck society

Baddest Bitch: YOU GOT SHOT

Sparky: I also was temporarily paralyzed at one point

Blind Bandit: Damn, sparky.

Sparky: and y’all thought Suki was lying about the ‘lot more’ for why we’re all fucked up list

Twinkle Toes: ha yeah okay

Sparky: I am the queen of mental health problems. And physical problems. And just problems honestly

Gay Wueen: yas Queen (I’m cringing already) buT BABE PLEASE GET A FUCKIN DIAGNOSIS

Boomer Man: Suki those words killed me more than the belly flop I saw aang do because he failed at cliff diving

Gay Queen: three??????? bitch what

Boomer Man: the ‘yas queen’

Gay Queen: that’s only two words tho????

Sparky: YOU CAN GET DIAGNOSISSESSESS FOR BEING TREATED LIKE SHIT THATS A THING

Gay Queen: uh yeah you can get a diagnosis for depression and PTSD and shit

Sparky: DAMN I THOUGHT THAT WAS A DIY THING I LIKE WAS I FAKING DEPRESSION IN FIFTH GRADE OR WAS THAT REAL

Gay Queen: no??? Literally you shouldn’t self deiagnose unless you’re like 99% sure

Baddest Bitch: Zuko you did have depression and shit, you’re case is much more extreme than the typical ones so it’s easy to self diagnose

Gay Queen: yeah what lala said

Sparky: guys we’re in Hawaii. I don’t have my lawyer to save Suki’s life right now or discuss my shitty backstory LET'S DRINK TEQUILA AND WATCH DISNEY IN THE SUNROOM

Gay Queen: not gonna let Azula live that down lol

Gay Queen: also yeah NO TALKING ABOUT MENTAL HRALTH N SHIT WHILE ON VACATION WERE HERE TO RELAX

Baddest Bitch: I’ve been craving a pineapple Pina Colada

Boomer Man: I’m with u on that

Sparky: I’m in a mood for some Mango sangria

Twinkle Toes: and the sangria wine~

Sparky: *chefs kiss*

Sugar Queen: I’ve been wanting a mermaid cocktail since the flight here

Gay Queen: im pretty sure I’m already drunk but cheers to whatever you order for me

Blind Bandit: Where are we meeting?

Sparky: AT THE HOUSE JET MAKES THE BEST DRINKS EVER

Fuckboi Supreme: thanks that’s what happens after 4 years of being a bartender

Sparky: his specialty is the Frostbite and I think that’s more Yue and Suki’s style but definitely something Toph would be into

Gay Queen: oh can he do the fire drink thing? I’ve always wanted to try it

Sparky: yeah I forgot to blow it out once and burnt my mouth. Jet had a heart attack

Fuckboi Supreme: I can make most drinks so hmu ig

Boomer Man: juts straight vodka man I need something strong

Fuckboi Supreme: sounds like you’re already drubk

Emo Girl: I also need some vodka. Wine is for wimps.

Pink Gymnast: Uhh can I have a pina colada?

Twinkle Toes: I want a puna foldar ooo

Boomer Man: wtf is that

Sparky: guys Druk just played in the ocean for the first time and he doesn’t want to leave and he’s pouting and I don’t know what to do helpppppppp

Twinkle Toes: why did it autocorrect to that I meant pina colada

Princess: Druk is trying to drown me right now and there’s a Great White swimming under me so bout to die

Gay Queen: nah manb youlb be fine ibe time I swan with thsre sharks and I’m not fed

Sparky: how much did you drink Jet stop supplying Suki and Yue roll into a ball so u don’t look like food

Gay Queen: waht

Blind Bandit: I haven’t even gotten back to the house yet and Sukis already drubk off her ass? No fair

Sparky: SAME ALSO YUE JUST ALMOST DIED BUT DRUK SAVED HER BUT NOW HES TRAUMATIZED AND WANTS TO GO HOME

Twinkle Toes: niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwweeeeeeeeee

Sparky: Jet have you stopped Suki

Fuckboi Supreme: yeah I stopped for Suki but I think she’s stealing Aang’s drinks now

Sparky: AANG GROW A BACK BONE CHILD AND TELL HER NO

Twinkle Toes: I TOLD HER NO BUT SHES STEONGER THAN ME AND JDUT THROWS ME OVER HER SHOULDER LIKR A RAGDOLL WHAT SO YOU WANT FROM ME

Sugar Queen: it’s actually pretty funny but now I’m involved so Suki’s cut off

Sparky: ok just for the record HAVE YALL SEEN KATARA WORK OUT LIKE FUCKING DAMN SHES STRONGER THAN EVERYONE HERE CONBINED LIKE GO OFF QUEEN

Gay Queen: FLSAE I CNA BETA HER IND AN ARM WRESTILING CONTEST IF Y WASNT DURNK

Sparky: no you can’t. Ur drunk and delusional.

Twinkle Toes: I think she’d put up a good fight but would loose

Boomer Man: gotta agree with Aang. Katara actually used to do boxing, MMA, wrestling, and a lot of martial arts, like, she can kick ass

Twinkle Toes: and I used to do fuckin ballet

Sparky: I used to do….huh. Nothing. Oh well. Guess I’m useless like Aang

Blind Bandit: High five youre part of the ‘rich kids whose parents were abusive and didn’t let them do fucking anything’ club

Sparky: that is a club that has one hell of a fucking entrance fee

Twinkle Toes: hey! that’s not nice

Baddest Bitch: guys this is Ty Lee Azula’s asleep on my shoulder and it’s so cute!!!

Emo Girl: she is? Oh she is.

Sparky: skui is alpeep on menie nvemninf SHES letff skuiiii wyh u lvaeee

Fuckboi Supreme: I just watched Aang and Suki go to the bathroom can someone go check on them

Boomer Man: damn Zuko’s fucking WASTED

Blind Bandit: What a lightweight. He took one sip and was immediately drunk

Sparky: ONONOOO IMN OT IHA D THREEDDIKNNS BEOORREF

Blind Bandit: what

Boomer Man: what the fuck are u saying babe

Boomer Man: oh he passed out, lovely, guess it’s time to sleep

Blind Bandit: Im going to go find Suki

Blind Bandit: I think she’s with Aang? Katara, wanna come with?

Sugar Queen: Aang flopped in bed. See you tomorrow morning for breakfast! And Suki went to your room I went to go check

Blind Bandit: Oh, thanks

Sugar Queen: np gn luv u all

Blind Bandit: Good night

Boomer Man: night luv u too and all that shit

Pink Gymnast: Night YALL! Love you!!!

Fuckboi Supreme: night

Chapter Text

TRIGGER WARNING

***

Group Chat - VACATION TIME BITCHES
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Sparky: this is by far one of the worst hangovers in my entire life. We are legit in the sky on a plane to France and I’m hungover. Granted it s a private jet BUT STILL. Smh

Gay Queen: you’re one to speak

Boomer Man: ok, Suki you Zuko Aang and Yue are lightweights. Yue was so dead she didn’t even tho ein the damn chat. How u feelin Yue

Gay Queen: im like between so not really a lightweight but I was drinking throughout the day

Princess: I can smell colors.

Gay Queen: oh well how’s synesthesia

Princess: idk go away it’s too bright stop

Gay Queen: should I turn up her phones brightness or is that too evil

Sparky: idk would you hold out food in front of a starving child and then eat it in front of them as a joke. I THINK NOT HANGOVERS ARE SERIOUS

Gay Queen: fine. no fun. My brightness is all the way up and shit

Boomer Man: ok I just looked over and Yue and Zuko are just huddled in a blanket with no light on their side of the jet. Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee are also passed out there.

Sparky: can someone pklease get me water

Gay Queen: weaklings. who tf sleeps off a hangover

Gay Queen: anyways can someone get me coffee or wine? I’m dead inside I need something to make me feel good

Boomer Man: yeah no there’s just water on this ride

Gay Queen: lameass piece of shit

Sparky: CAN I PLEASE JUST GET SOME DAMN WATER AND SROP INSILTING MY PRIVATE JET

Gay Queen: I’ll get it

Gay Queen: SOKKA YOU LIED THERE IS WINE FUCK YEAH

Princess: petition to shun hungover Suki

Sparky: I’m down

Sugar Queen: please.

Twinkle Toes: turn off my notifs and let me just fuckign sleep please

Sparky: I’m even gonna let u swear that’s how done I am

Boomer Man: also Suki the wine and coffee is restricted unless me and Jet give permission. U don’t have it

Gay Queen: that’s not what the pilot said

Sparky: you think if I jumped out the window I’d die?

Gay Queen: bet. I’ll do it

Sparky: ok, u know what can I pretty please be mean to everyone for one minute.

Gay Queen: sure I’ll probably cry about it later but yeah

Boomer Man: why the fuck not

Sugar Queen: please.

Sparky: ok here I go BUT I DON'T MEAN THIS SWEAR OK SO PLEASE DONT TAKE IT TO HEART

Gay Queen: then don’t say it??

Sparky: but it needs to be said.

Gay Queen: fine

Sparky: nevermind i remembered I have something called, you know what, it’s not like you care anyways.

Gay Queen: what

Sparky: good fucking night and have fun drinking wine and coffe, Suki, master of the hangover.

Gay Queen: Is it bad that I can’t tell if he’s joking or not or is that my autistic ass acting up again

Boomer Man: yeah he isn’t joking he’s mad and Yue looks dead to the world

Gay Queen: fine

Gay Queen: hey we’re at 8,000 feet do you think if I jump I’ll die? I’m gonna try it

Boomer Man: Suki stop. Just please. Stop. We’re all hung over, it’s going to hurt you.

Blind Bandit: Fuck, get the doors.

Boomer Man: auto lock nothing opens unless you have a two ton object slamming into them

Gay Queen: goddammit

Sparky: hey here’s an idea, slam Suki’s ego into it, that’ll work

Gay Queen: yeah sure just throw me out the window when you do

Sparky: wtf r u upset

Gay Queen: nah

Sparky: the hell is that supposed to mean

Gay Queen: it means no? What am I supposed to say?

Sparky: how bout the truth?

Gay Queen: im literally not upset ask Katara she’s stirring next to me

Sparky: then don’t joke about suicide. It’s not funny.

Gay Queen: im not joking??

Sparky: so you actually wanna go out the window?

Gay Queen: mayhaps anyways I said we’re not gonna be depressing on vacation so let’s pretend this didn’t happen bc I’m good now I just get really stupidly impulsive and suicidal after dribking

Sparky: YEAH WELL TODAYS THE DAY MY MOM LEFT SO WHY DONT YOU FUCKING JUMP OUT THE DAMN PLANE AND JOIN HER

Gay Queen: …

Sparky: what? Got nothing to say now? No jumping out of planes anymore? Is it pity? Well fuck u too

Gay Queen: FINE IF IT BOTHERS YOU SO MUCH I WILL BREAK THE FODDAMN WINDOW AND JUMP

Sparky: REALLY AND LEAVE EVERYONE THAT LOVES YOU ALONE YOU SELFISH PIECE OF SHIT YOU HAVE WORTH SO STOP JOKING ABOUT IT

Gay Queen: you’re sending a lot of fucking mixed messages Zuko, do you want me here but then you call me a piece of shit?

Sparky: whatever. I don’t care anymore. Do whatever you want. I’m just tired of life.

Gay Queen: im calling a suicide hotline before this goes to shit

Sparky: the fuck are they gonna do they’re practically useless

Gay Queen: gee thanks

Boomer Man: we landed. Um, Suki and everyone else go to the house, me and Jet are gonna stay back with Zuko.

Gay Queen: sure fucking thing, dude

Sugar Queen: Suki r u ok? For real? R u suiciding or r u concerned or Zuko? Or both

Gay Queen: yup!

Sugar Queen: Suki I’m serious. Please.

Gay Queen: I’ll be fine don’t worry about me. You should watch out for Zuko, idk about him

Group Chat - The Three Dumbasses
People - Zuko, Sokka, Jet
Zuko- Honeybruh
Sokka- BBQ Sauce
Jet- Macchiato Sundae

BBQ Sauce: Zuko?

Honeybruh: no

Macchiato Sundae: is there anything we can do?

Honeybruh: no

BBQ Sauce: are we going to get any other answer other than no?

Honeybruh: no

Macchiato Sundae: Can we get something for you? Would you rather go to the house or somewhere else?

Honeybruh: no

BBQ Sauce: are you seriously copy and pasting two letters

Honeybruh: yes

Macchiato Sundae: I know you’re not okay right now, but do you think you will be, or should I call Azula?

Honeybruh: um what the fuck are y’all talking about. I’ve been sleeping the entire plane ride?

Macchiato Sundae: who messed with your phone, then?

BBQ Sauce: The only one close to him was Yue but I saw her, she was dead asleep. Azula’s legit carried her out

Honeybruh: am I being hacked. I feel attacked. DAMN THEY WENT THROUGH MY TEXTS AND EVERYBTING THEY KNOW ALL ABOUT ME

Macchiato Sundae: Russia or is there an impostor among us?

Honeybruh: give me five to change my number

Macchiato Sundae: okay, but what about Auki? Should we check on her?

BBQ Sauce: FIVE MINUTES?!

Honeybruh: um yeah? When ur rich pretty much everybting is possible

Macchiato Sundae: Sokka babe why are you even surprised he’s literally rich

BBQ Sauce: honestly I’m not even sure anymore

Honeybruh: Guys I’m gonna cry

Macchiato Sundae: !!!

Honeybruh: what kind of sick fuck would hurt Suki like that?

Macchiato Sundae: I don’t know, but they suck. I really hope you were hacked and it wasn’t one of us

Honeybruh: it wouldn’t have been. It couldn’t have been.

Macchiato Sundae: if it was, then who can we really trust?

BBQ Sauce: IF THIS IS SOME LEBAORATE AMON US MEME ITS NOT FUNNY

Macchiato Sundae: it’s really not but lol

Group Chat - VACATION TIME BITCHES
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Sparky: SUKI SUKI SUKI IM SO SORRY I SWEAR I WASNT THE ONE SYAING THAT SHIT I GOT HACKED IM SORRY I WAS ASLEEP

Blind Bandit: She, uh. She blocked you.

Sparky has left the chat

Sugar Queen: Suki unblock Zuko. Now. And then scroll up.

Blind Bandit: I have her phone rn, lemme just do it real quick while she’s in the bathroom

Boomer Man: dude Zuko just left real fast with tears in his eyes and Jet)s going after him bit idk what’s gonna happen

Gay Queen has unblocked Sparky

Sugar Queen: Suki scroll up

Gay Queen: well, damn okay

Gay Queen: idk if i trust that though

Boomer Man: why the hell would you fucking block him? You were both hurt we’re grown as people talk it out

Gay Queen: hmm would you or would you not block someone who allegedly told you to kill yourself

Boomer Man: he never said that. He wouldn’t. He loves you too much and the fact that you still don’t believe him is unfair.

Gay Queen: I didn’t know that! I unblocked him!

Gay Queen: bro we’re all mentally unstable I say stupid shut all the time

Princess: the fact that you don’t trust Zuko is still not ok. Do you even trust us?

Gay Queen: Yes.

Gay Queen has left the chat

Blind Bandit: she locked herself in her room without her phone or anything. There’s no sharp things or drugs in there, so I think she’ll be fine

Sugar Queen: Aang just went looking for Zuko. He loves Suki too but right now he’s still on edge about the fact that Suko doesn’t trust him.

Blind Bandit: I mean… I don’t want to take sides, but Suki tried to de-escalate it, and “Zuko” just egged her on. I don’t like that she blocked him, but I understand why.

Boomer Man: again. GROWN ASS ADULTS THAT ARE RICH AND HAVE BEEN TO COLLEGE WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO TALK SHIT OUT

Boomer Man: my god guys like what the fuck.

Boomer Man: We've been to therapy so damn much and we can’t ‘talk feeling’ or ‘thoughts’ or other shit? We have mouths.

Boomer Man: damn people. Get a grip on your fucking lives and if you can’t ask for help

Blind Bandit: *slow claps it out* bravo to Sokka

Boomer Man: thank you Tipn.

Blind Bandit: you’re welcome, skooa

Boomer Man: that’s fair

Chapter Text

Group Chat - VACATION TIME BITCHES
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Gay Queen was added

Sparky was Added

Sparky: me and Suki vibed and made up.

Gay Queen: yeah vibing pretty fun

Sparky: Suki. How dare you hold a gun to my head? After all we’ve been through?

Gay Queen: I’m sorry, it had to be done.

Boomer Man: WTF THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY

Sparky: do you really want to kill me?

Gay Queen: I’m sorry, you were like a brother to me. But for everything that I stand for, this must happen.

Sparky: I only wish I had more time to tell everyone goodbye. Aang, you were my child. Katara, you were more of a mother to me than Urs-

Gay Queen: FUCK YEAH I WON

Sparky: SEE THIS IS WHY WE DON'T PLAY LASER TAG

Twinkle Toes: ohhhh myyyy goddd here I was, nearly shitting myself and you were playing LAZER TAG??? fuck yall

Boomer Man: y’all came to France to play laser tag?

Sugar Queen: did you honestly expect anything else, sokka and aang?

Sparky: NO CHILD OF MINE USES SUCH LANGUAGE!!! AANG APOLOGIZE

Twinkle Toes: 🅕🅤🅒🅚

Princess: did he just….?

Emo Girl: it was nice to knowing you Aang

Twinkle Toes: yeah

Sparky: what did you say to me.

Baddest Bitch: not a single misspelled word, Aang’s in deep shit this time

Twinkle Toes: WHY AM I NOT ALLOWED TO SWEAR IM OLDER THAN TOPH

Sparky: BECAUSE YOU ARE MY CHILD AND TOPH CAN BREAK A MAN’S NECK WITH HER PINKIE

Twinkle Toes: I CAN BREAK A MANS NECK WITH MY PINKY TOO

Sparky: YEAH WELL TOPH’S FUCKING BOSS AND SHES MY OTHER CHILD THTA OBVIOUSLY WAS RAISED BY JET CAUSE SHES ALLOWED TO SWEAR AANG I RAISED YOU BETTER

Blind Bandit: thanks

Twinkle Toes: Do you plan on actually raising your kids like this

Sparky: YES YES I DO

Fuckboi Supreme: this implies that ‘my kid’ would be allowed to swear? What about Sokka’s?

Gay Queen: oh shit y’all are actually thinking about kids? Damn we’re so old, stopppp

Twinkle Toes: who’s the oldest of us? Jet? I think it’s Jet right

Sparky: NO. NO KIDS CAN SWEAR.

Fuckboi Supreme: but you just said…?

Sparky: NO I DIDNT WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU LISTWN TO ME NO SWEARING

Fuckboi Supreme: you sound like my mom

Sparky: I just had an out of body experience and fell down the stairs and took Suki with me and now we’re in the hospital cause we both broke our wrists

Fuckboi Supreme: sucks to be you I guess

Fuckboi Supreme: how did you get to the hospital that fast

Boomer Man: he called me and I called the hospital

Fuckboi Supreme: damn am I the lesser boyfriend

Sparky: if you let our kids swear then no shit

Fuckboi Supreme: wow

Sparky: I just realized I can’t use my broken wrist anymore

Twinkle Toes: rip that’s what you get for being stupid

Sparky: Suki broke her right hand so she prob can’t chat very fast. It’s been saying she typing for the past 20 minutes.

Gay Queen: FUCK YOU I CAN TYPE PERFECTLY WELL

Gay Queen: It’s been saying? What does that mean zuko

Sparky: idk my phones hsit

Gay Queen: you’re a rich bitch stfu get unselfi a new phone

Sparky: rich bitch rhymes and no phones cost a lot

Gay Queen: thats the point yes

Sparky: WE’E STIL IN GRANCE

Gay Queen: did you know that in France we dont have to pay such a big hospital bill because american insurance and stuff is shit

Sugar Queen: US has shit medical systems

Twinkle Toes: stop getting political on main

Sparky: guys. I just. Ok. I need. Cat litter. And food. And. Insurance. For cats.

Gay Queen: cat litter???

Sparky: I may or may not have stolen someone’s cat.

Gay Queen: bro

Sparky: IN MY DEFENSE ITS A CHUBBY ORANGE TABBY KITTEN

Twinkle Toes: ZUKO WE DON’T STEAL PEOPLE’S CATS

Sparky: I don’t like this rule.

Boomer Man: YOU DONT ABDUCT FUCKING CATS.

Sparky: SEEMS A BIT TOO LATE DOESNT IT

Twinkle Toes: wait Zuko—— please tell me you didn’t actually abduct someone’s cat

Sparky: LOOK IT WAS REALLY CUTE OK

Gay Queen: that’s not okay!!!! what if it’s owner is a little kid who’s missing it?

Sparky: the it’s owner is shit. It’s cut up and bruised and starved so it definitely has a shit owner

Gay Queen: so you basically picked it up off the streets then?

Sparky: no I maybe kinda sorta punched a guy that was about to kick it and then ran faster than I ever have before

Gay Queen: so yes then

Gay Queen: that’s basically equivalent to protecting a street cat

Sparky: so can I keep it

Fuckboi Supreme: we’ll have to take it to the vet first, but I say yes. Sokka has to agree too, though.

Boomer Man: why the fuck not

Sparky: WE CAN KEEP IT HAHA IM NAMING HIM SEÑOR MCFLUFF

Twinkle Toes: no please don’t

Sparky: it’s not your cat

Twinkle Toes: name it dumpling so that Momo has a friend?

Sparky: WHY THE HECK WOULD I NAME IT DUMPLING DRUK WOULD EAT HIM

Twinkle Toes: no he wouldn’t I bet the cat’ll end up being bigger than your puppyyyyy

Sparky: oh the cats a she

Sparky: I’m naming it Theodosia after Hamilton.

Gay Queen: you fucking NERDDDDDDDDD

Sparky: her name is Teddy now

Gay Queen: yeah that’s dope okay

Boomer Man: can any of you beleive what our lives have come too? We’re in for ace stealing cats and naming them after musicals

Twinkle Toes: you would not believe your eyes, if ten thousand fireflies dadadadadadad adadad aaaaa

Sparky: no.

Twinkle Toes: yes.

Sugar Queen: I somehow got dragged to the vet with Zuko? How am I here?

Twinkle Toes: yeah okay that can be zukos superpower now

Sparky: guys, Teddy just ate food but she looks hungry but if I feed her she’ll throw up but if I don’t she’ll cry and now I’m crying

Twinkle Toes: Just take it slow, and feed her a little by little. Like every ten minutes or so

Sparky: AANG GET OVER HERE HOW DOES A CAT WORK DO WE NEED AAA BATTERIES

Twinkle Toes: I’m omw

Princess: this is sad

Emo Girl: it really is

Gay Queen: I, for one, think this is hilarious

Boomer Man: I’m with you there

Blind Bandit: You guys, I somehow made my ear bleed by scratching it

Baddest Bitch: damn. That’s a lot of blood

Blind Bandit: Nononono but the worst part is that it was in that weird fold area of your ear so it was a pain in the ass to clean up

Sugar Queen: this wounds me just to hear. huh, ironic

Sparky: I had to return the cat. Someone had catnapped her and her owner wants her back.

Twinkle Toes: :(

Sugar Queen: I can vouch for the fact that Zuko is crying

Fuckboi Supreme: We can adopt a kitten when we get back home if you want?

Sparky: but I wanted Teddy. She was sweet and nice and still wnated to trust us even though she was hurt and :(

Gay Queen: :(

Sparky: I’ll never forget you Teddy,

Fuckboi Supreme: but I bet we can find one similar to her, and maybe you can figure out if you want to visit her or something

Sparky: WAIT I CAN ACTUALLY GET A CAT

Boomer Man: Uh yeah that’s how shelters and shit work

Fuckboi Supreme: yeah? That’s what I’ve been saying

Sparky: SUKI WANNA HELP ME CHOOSE A CAT

Gay Queen: sure? I thought Jet n Sokka meant after we got back to LA

Sparky: COOL WHERES THE CLOSEST SHELTER I NEED FLUFFER NOW

Gay Queen: how the shit should I know

Sparky: LOOK I FOUND IT IM OUTSIDE

Twinkle Tkes: that was really fast

Sugar Queen: guys. I’m somehow still with Zuko and you would never believe what just happened

Twinkle Toes: *Fireflies by Owl City intensifies*

Boomer Man: do I wanna know

Sparky: OMFG WHATS WRONG WITH ME I JUST ADOPTED 7 CATS MY GOSH IM REALLY GAY AND STUPID

Gay Queen: well. yeah I can confirm that I did absolutely nothing to stop him

Emo Girl: SEVEN CATS? DAMN SON YOU’RE NOT EVEN LESBIAN

Princess: DOESNT ADOPTIONG TAKE WEEKS TO COMPLETE

Sparky: their names are Lilly, Samoa, Cocoa, Misty, Celine, Dahlia, and Sarah and god these are basic white bitch names

Gay Queen: mai how do you KNOW that zukos not a lesbian

Emo Girl: i dont except for the fact that you know he TOLD me

Gay Queen: he’s a lesbian at heart. catboy lesbian

Sparky: this is a very cute cat. So is that one. And that one. And that one. And that one.And that one. And that one.

Twinkle Toes: just buy the whole damn shelter

Sparky: I CAN DO THAT

Twinkle Toes: nO DO NOT actually nvm I see no downside to this

Sparky: ITS TOO LATE IM BUYING IT AND GETTING ALL THE KITTIES

Sparky: GUYS I GOT FOUR MORE DOGS. BLUEBERRY SPICE HEAD, PRINCESS RAINBOW, TWINKLE STARCHILD, AND JUNIPER LIGHTNING BUG

Gay Queen: dope

Boomer Man: we’re gonna need a bigger house. And more Zuko’s

Fuckboi Supreme: lmao rip to us

Sparky: GUYS I DONT KNOW WHERE TO PUT ALL MY BABIES I HAVE 237 MORE I BOUGHT 6 MORE SHELTERS

Gay Queen: bITCH

Baddest Bitch: HOW ARE YOU DOING IT THIS FAST BUSINESS TAKES TIME

Blind Bandit: As a fellow business woman, how the FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS

Sparky: the power of lesbianism through a spiral of gay, tastes the rainbow bitch

Blind Bandit: ME AND AZULA ARE BOTH LESBIANS HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS

Sugar Queen: that was Zuko’s reasoning to the front desk lady and the owners and it worked

Gay Queen: damn okay pop off

Sparky: I’m a better lesbian than all of you. I’m a trans, gay, lesbianism bitch, fucking fight me I will win

Twinkle Toes: that sentence broke my last braincell

Baddest Bitch: I- how the fuck does one argue with you

Sparky: yes

Chapter Text

Group Chat - how to deal with Zuko’s bullshit
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Sparky: the name of this group chat is highly offensive I’ve done nothing

Baddest Bitch: who just bought 6 shelters through the power of lesbianism, trans, and some other gay shit I cant remember

Sparky: it sounds an awful lot like I’m being accused

Gay Queen: she has a point

Sparky: no she doesn’t

Gay Queen: lala is never wrong

Baddest Bitch: motherfucker

Gay Queen: incorrect

Sparky: guys I think I just bought another shelter but I swear I was only trying to buy another cat

Twinkle Toes: yOu nEEd to StAHP

Boomer Man: ANOTHER CAT

Sparky: it was cute and fluffy anD I FEEL VERY ATTACKED RIGHT NOW

Twinkle Toes: did anyone get my vine reference please

Sugar Queen: unfortunately.

Twinkle Toes: :D

Sparky: honestly Aang and Katara is the most bromantic romance I’ve ever seen

Twinkle Toes: … are you,,, are you implying we’re not a good couple? :(

Sugar Queen: how the FUCK does one respond to that

Sparky: guys I think I’m allergic to cats. And no, you two are fucking adorable

Twinkle Toes: :D and also yikes Zuko big oof

Boomer Man: how the fuck do you know

Sparky: oh I’m in the er right now petting a cat that sent me into a seizure why

Gay Queen: we love a ✨problematic sister✨

Boomer Man: Zuko. This means we have to return the cats and sell back the shelters.

Sparky: NO!!!

Blind Bandit: as someone who owns a company, that would be a pain

Boomer Man: Zuko is magic in the corporate world as we’ve learnt in the past 8 hours and Jet back me up here

Fuckboi Supreme: Yeah but we already knew that

Sparky: 🥺 I want my cats

Gay Queen: is he also magical elsewhere

Sparky: yes. Yes I am.

Gay Queen: cool do a flip

Sparky: sure but I’m still in the ER. And I’m still petting the cat

Gay Queen: fine but do a flip later

Sparky: k

Boomer Man: Zuko, no cat, put it down

Pink Gymnast: You guys are a complete and total disaster

Sparky: THE CAT IS MINE AND WE’RE IN FRANCE SO VIVE LA REVOLUTION

Twinkle Toes: HECK YEAH

Sparky: ok yeah now it hurts to breathe I gotta say bye

Gay Queen: bye and good luck take ur fuckin meds properly

Sparky: HEY GUYS I SOLD THE SHELTERS BACK

Boomer Man: YOUR IN THE ER HOW THE ACTUAL SHIT ARE YOU DOIGN THIS

Sparky: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Gay Queen: tbh idek or care anymore he’s just a magical anime girl now

Sparky: can I wear a skirt

Princess: why the fuck not.

Gay Queen: hell yeah dude go for it

Sugar Queen: now I kinda want to dress him up and see how that looks

Sparky: I want Druk back :(

Fuckboi Supreme: I can’t get him right now but I miss him too

Sparky: YOU CANT WHY NOT I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME

Fuckboi Supreme: I can I guess but I’d have to fly across the world

Sugar Queen: he’s on a lot of meds so get ready for high Zuko

Sparky: THEN FLY ACROSS THE WORLD JET I WANT MY BABY

Fuckboi Supreme: ಠMಠ okay TwT

Sparky: I JUST SAW A SQUIRREL WOAH

Twinkle Toes: I love Zuko he’s the best dad ever

Sparky: THOSE THINGS ARE FUCKING HUGE THEYRE BIGGER THAN MY PINKIE

Emo Girl: this is thoroughly entertaining

Twinkle Toes: esPECIALLY when he’s high I want more of high Zuko

Gay Queen: yeah I agree with aang Sokka go share your weed with him

Boomer Man: fuck you too

Sparky: I NEED MY CHILD

Boomer Man: we can’t get Druk Zuko

Sparky: THEN GET ME APPA

Twinkle Toes: we can’t get Appa either… I miss my baby.

Sparky: NO NO NO NO NO I WANT DRUK I WANT APPA AND I WANT APPLESAUCE AND A LOT OF ICE CREAM

Sugar Queen: you hate apple sauce

Sparky: ARE YOU JUDGING ME

Fuckboi Supreme: this is going to be a very long 3 hours

Sparky: EUGH WHO GAVE ME APPLESAUCE THAT SHIT IS DISGUSTING

Gay Queen: this is why we can’t have nice things

Sparky: I’m going to cry now I want Appa and Druk and Aang and boba and :(

Twinkle Toes: I’m coming 🏃🏽♂️

Emo Girl: get him the boba I wanna see what happens when he’s high and gets sugar

Gay Queen: DO NOT I did that once and it’s like… an over caffeinated, drunk, high, monkey

Sparky: I JUST GOT A LARGE BOBA WITH MAXIMUM SUGAR AND AANG

Boomer Man: spirits save us all

Gay Queen: nooooo mai whyyyyyyy

Emo Girl: a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do for entertainment

Baddest Bitch: you have betrayed us. But since I’m not taking care of him this will be funny

Pink Gymnast: I mean this is entertaining but I feel bad

Sparky: GUYS I JUST CHUGGED FHE WHOLE THING AND MIGHT HABE THROWN AANG OUT A WINDOW

Gay Queen: bitch H O W

Sparky: ITS THE SQUIREL AGAIN RUN BEFORE IT EATS YOUR CHULDREN

Gay Queen: I can’t drink boba without choking on it every sip hence why I prefer girls

Emo Girl: I can thoroughly entertained, boba was a good choice. And Suki, I’m with you there

Twinkle Toes: y’all being thrown out of a window H U RTS

Sparky: AANG GOT EATEN BY THE SQUIRREL SAVE YOURSELF

Twinkle Toes: no? It jumped on me

Sugar Queen: Zuko you aren’t even looking at a squirrel anymore that’s some old lady’s chihuahua

Sparky: THATS A SCARY ASS CHIHUAHUA I NEED MY DRUK

Twinkle Toes: say it with me: ZUKO IS BEST DAD

Emo Girl: amen to that and I’m not even religious

Gay Queen: yep

Baddest Bitch: Zuko would make a great dad

Gay Queen: he would also make a great cult leader

Sparky: DRUK I WANT YOU MY PUPPY

Blind Bandit: You know what, good night. Y’all are a disaster, so I am L O O K I N G A W A Y

Princess: I could see both and it’s 2 pm???

Sparky: MUTANAT SQUIRRAL CHIHUAHAUHE THING SAVE ME

Gay Queen: cult leader dad teleports other people Zuko yeah that sounds right

Sparky: GUYS LOOK I FOUND APPA

Sugar Queen: he’s hugging a mop.

Sparky: I DONT THINK APPA HAS BEEN PROPOERLY SHAMPOOED

Gay Queen: no baby you poor thing

Sparky: THIS ISNT APPA IVE BEEN CHEATED WHOS DOG IS THIS

Gay Queen: idk whether to laugh or cry

Sparky: LOOK LOOK ITS A GERMAN SHEPARD

Gay Queen: Zuko, babe please

Sugar Queen: no theres an actual German Shepard, and ZUKO NO WE DON'T WANDER INTO HALLWAYS TO PET DOGS WHEN WE COULD POSSIBLY DIE

Sparky: Druk would love Simon. I want my baby.

Twinkle Toes: katara’s gonna make a great mom lol

Gay Queen: whomst the FUCK is simon

Sugar Queen: Zuko just started crying and Simon is just laying with him in bed and I might sstart crying and Simon is the dog

Gay Queen: is Simon the dog bc he better not be sleeping with some other guy

Sugar Queen: yeah

Sparky: LOOK ITS DRUK

Gay Queen: oh good okay I didn’t read the whole thing I got angry lol

Sugar Queen: Zuko, darling, that’s a potted plant

Fuckboi Supreme: so, I brought Appa to France.

Sparky: BUT WHAT ABOUT DRUK I LOVE APPA BUT MY BABY

Fuckboi Supreme: oh also our dog I guess

Boomer Man: HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET BACK SO FAST

Emo Girl: I taught him a few things

Fuckboi Supreme: I am s p e e d

Sparky: DRUK MY BABY

Sugar Queen: Zuko that’s still the potted plant, Druk is next to it

Sparky: DRUK MY BABY

Gay Queen: Zuko babe please get off those meds soon

Sugar Queen: that’s just another potted plant I’m pretty sure I’m crying

Sugar Queen: oh thank fuck he’s finally hugging Druk

Gay Queen: rip lol

Sparky: THANK YOU JET SO MUCH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND MY BABY IS HERE

Fuckboi Supreme: you’re welcome. :)

Boomer Man: we’re finally ok, thank fuck

Sparky: GUYS DRUK JUST RAN AWAY IM GONNA CRY AGAIN

Sugar Queen: THATS A POTTED PLANT AND IT DIDNT EVEN MOVE

Twinkle Toes: well somONES ELMO TODAY

Twinkle Toes: I meant emotional but Elmo works too I guess

Sparky: DID YOU JUST CALL ME ELMO YOUVE BEEN UNAPOTED

Twinkle Toes: yes no maybe so

Sugar Queen: Zuko is never allowed hear potted plants or cats or meds or drugs ever again

Gay Queen: yes sir

Baddest Bitch: are we going to ignore the fact that Aang just got disowned or what?

Twinkle Toes: it’s fine lol I get disowned once every month since I was twelve

Sparky: NO NO NO I WANT GLITTER NOW AND AANG MY CHILD COME THE HECK BACK HERE BUT WITH GLITTER

Twinkle Toes: okay dad

Twinkle Toes: … you know, glitter is a real pain to get out of carpets. and hair. not even my hair.

Sparky: GUYS OCTOPUSESESEES ARE SEA SPIDERS

Gay Queen: good night, zuko. Go take a nap.

Sugar Queen: he just got knocked out because of the drugs and now Druk is panicking when will this nightmare end

Twinkle Toes: it may never end, who knows

Sparky: im watching you

Gay Queen: that’s not terrifying at all. next up on keeping up with the kardashians!

Baddest Bitch: I genuinely shuddered at the name of that wretched show.

Gay Queen: :) you’ll see them soon (:

Chapter Text

DISCLAIMER- POLY INTRODUCED HERE
RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT CENTRIC IN THIS FIC SO ITS NOT REALLY THAT IMPORTANT.

***

Group Chat - how to deal with Zuko’s bullshit
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Sparky: was I really that high

Twinkle Toes: yes. yes you were

Gay Queen: HOLY SHIT ZUKO CAN DO A FLIP

Sparky: told you

Gay Queen: that was a dope ass double flip. @Pink Gymnast, come down to the common room and I’ll judge who’s better at gymnastics/ parkour

Sparky: dude that’s like asking a tiger to eat a rat Ty Lee’s a fucking boss

Pink Gymnast: I’ll do it, but to make it easier for Zuko I’ll wear weights!

Sparky: um no I DONT BACK DOWN FROM A CAHLLENGE LETS DO THISS

Pink Gymnast: へ‿(ツ)‿ㄏ alright

Sparky: did you know I own HEELS

Gay Queen: yeah remember when you did drag

Boomer Man: that was pretty nice

Sparky: I looked like a real girl cause I was a real girl

Gay Queen: was that b4 or after you transitioned?

Sparky: after. GUYS I OWN AN ANIME SKIRT I KNOW WHAT IM BEING FOR HALLOWEEN

Gay Queen: so then you were t OH IS IT FROM THAT SAILOR MOON COSPLAY WE DID

Sparky: YEAH YOU REMEBER THAT

Gay Queen: HELL YEAH I DO

Boomer Man: I missed out on seeing Zuko in a short skirt? smh

Gay Queen: no you didn’t because WE’RE DOING A FASHION SHOW AANG YOURE JOING U SOLELY BCUZ I WANNA SEE YOU JN A DRESS ANYONE ELSE CAN COME TOO

Sparky: WHERE THE HECKING HECK IS MY CHILD

Twinkle Toes: gimme a sec I’m omw back from the grape ty store

Sparky: I was talking about Druk but I mean your fine too

Twinkle Toes: you were planning on dresssing druk up? FRICKIN DOPE

Sparky: OH YEAH I HAVE THIS REALLY PRETTY GOWN THINGIE MABOB THAT WOULD LOOKS GREAT ON AANG AND I HAVE A PRINCESS COSTUME FOR DRUK

Twinkle Toes: be there in a minute! ooh can Sokka dress up?

Sparky: Suki is wearing a suit right now and fuck if i wasnt gay I’d fuck her

Blind Bandit: I bet she looks hot as shit right now

Sparky: you shoulda bet money on that. For Suki in a suit, I’d definitely go un gay

Gay Queen: you mean straight?? lmao were so homonormative

Sparky: EW NO SWEARING ON THIS HOLY SHAT

Gay Queen: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sparky: spelling is not my strong suit

Twinkle Toes: holy SHAT LMAOOOOO

Sparky: Jet is giving me puppy eyes because of the Suki comment I’m sorry

Fuckboi Supreme: it’s okay don’t ever become straight though

Sparky: PFFFFTTT ME BEING STRAIGHT WOULD BE LIKE IF I EVER STOPPED LOVING DRUK

Gay Queen: all of us being gay as shit? More likely than you think

Sparky: do you ever just see Mai and Ty Lee and Suki and every girl in this chat in a suit and think. Damn. I might actually be bisexual. EXCEPT TOPH SHES MY CHILD AND YUE IS MY SISTER AND AZULA IS MY LEGIT SISTER

Gay Queen: lmao okay are you having another identity crisis

Sparky: I just had incest panic and bitch I do these sexuality crisises once an hour

Gay Queen: yikes that shits disguSTING

Baddest Bitch: I like suits.

Twinkle Toes: y’all I’m wearing that sailor moon costume that Suki wore last year and I loook fire

Emo Girl: I like Azula in suits too

Sparky: wtf why do I look like an incredibly skimpy Cinderella

Pink Gymnast: me too!

Sparky: you look like a skimpy Cinderella?

Pink Gymnast: Mai, not Zuko I mean

Sparky: gotcha. GUYS HOW THE FUCK DOES ONE FUNCTION IN A BRA

Gay Queen: gotcha lmaoOOOO IM CRYING WHO SAYS THAT IMITERAG DYI GGGGG

Sparky: imitrag?

Baddest Bitch: you don’t function in bras. That’s why most business women wear tight suits and no bras.

Gay Queen: lmao I meant literally

Gay Queen: t i d d y

Emo Girl: you don’t wear bras and you never told me? I feel cheated

Gay Queen: hang on might be gayer than j thought gimme a second

Sparky: I just realized that we’re so hot, we could take over everything

Twinkle Toes: too hot!

Boomer Man: HOT DAMN

Gay Queen: HOT DAMN

Gay Queen: DAMMIT SOKKA

Sugar Queen: no. I don’t like the texture of suits.

Gay Queen: uh YEAH oh I thought you meant Bruno Mars

Sparky: I just saw Katara in a suit and got a nose bleed like I’m not even kidding someone help

Gay Queen: oh shit he wasn’t kidding lemme get him a tissue brb

Emo Girl: hey aang? How mad would you be if I stole Katara?

Twinkle Toes: …. idk. you can have her FOR BOW BUT SHES MINE OKAY

Emo Girl: I guess. Katara’s coming home with me tonight though

Gay Queen: are we entering a poly relationship here with more people

Sparky: eh why the fuck not

Sugar Queen: I would complain but it’s Mai.

Gay Queen: wait actually @sparky

Sparky: I mean it doesn’t have to be like everyone but I don’t really mind. BUT ONLY IF ITS OK WITH JET AND SOKKA IF NOT IM A TAKEN HOE

Fuckboi Supreme: I didn’t consider it but I don’t think I’d be uncomfortable with it

Boomer Man: I’m pretty chill with it.

Gay Queen: huh

Sparky: can I just ask random people on dates now is that how this works

Gay Queen: just out of the twelve? Eleven? Of us I guess

Sparky: so out of the blue….Suki u r bi right

Gay Queen: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) yes

Sparky: I’m very bad at first moves Aang help a bitch out

Twinkle Toes: idk how to feel about this because it’s like my dad is asking my sister out

Sparky: EW OK NO NOT ASKING YOU FOR HELP EVER AGAIN

Twinkle Toes: yeah that’s what I thought

Boomer Man: hey Suki can u make the first move and ‘help a bitch out’

Gay Queen: hell yeah. Zuko, I’ve had my eyes on you since the day we first meet. Will you marry me?

Sparky: HECK TO THE YES LETS DO THIS

Gay Queen: wHAT I WAS KIDDIBG YOU STUPUD FUCK J MEANT A DATE IT WAS A JOKE

Sparky: and that’s how you trick a trickster

Gay Queen: wHaT iS hAPpEninG

Sparky: you got outsmarted by a hoe. That’s real sad

Twinkle Toes: so who asked who out?

Sparky: idk man all I know is I’m going on a date with Suki

Gay Queen: lit let’s go to that boba shop

Sugar Queen: I’m out with Mai what about u guys

Princess: can you guys be my qprs?

Baddest Bitch: sure why not Yue wanna go ‘out’

Princess: heck yeah! Let’s go and double date but not really with Suki and Zuko

Pink Gymnast: wow we’re actually doing this. huh.

Sparky: WAIT ARE YOU NOT OK WITH THIS EVERYONE STOP CALL IT ALL OF SUKI IM SORRY BUT IM BREAKING UP WITH YOU

Pink Gymnast: NO NO NO I APPROVE AND CONSENT AND ALL THAT JAZZ I JUST DIDNT EXPECT IT

Sparky: Oh ok, Suki we’re back on

Gay Queen: dope bc if we weren’t it woulda been hella awkward to be out on our first date then immediately break it off

Sparky: the heck is Toph WAIT DOES SHE NOT CONSENT SUKI WE’RE OFF AGAIN

Blind Bandit: Listen YALL text to speech canNOT HANDLE THE SPEEDS YOU GUYS TYPE AT

Sparky: BUT DO YOU CONESNT

Blind Bandit: yeah I guess why not

Sparky: OK SUKI WE’RE BACK ON AGAIN

Gay Queen: lmao okay

Pink Gymnast: hey Toph? Wanna go out?

Blind Bandit: Uhhhh I’m in a meeting right now but later

Sparky: MY KIDS GOING ON A DATE MY KIDS GOING ON A DATE OMG I CANT GREAT THIS IS SO EXCITING

Twinkle Toes: you’re my dad! woogie woofer biggie idhaodhskvsjskxbd wizn

Sparky: excuse me. Also I have more than one child

Twinkle Toes: gakdiehbsbdisjsbdb you know that one tiktok sound? yeah you frickin boomer

Sparky: why would u do that to me. I will yell at u later but I gotta go I’m on a date

Gay Queen: yeah we need to make out now so we’re leaving

Chapter Text

Group Chat - Guess we’re poly now
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Gay Queen: y’know, if we all break up, this is gonna be HELLA awkward

Sparky: not really we’re gay awkward is our language

Gay Queen: trudat

Sugar Queen: did you guys really make out or were we fooled

Gay Queen: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy

Sugar Queen: fuck you and yes I would like to know that’s why I asked

Gay Queen: yeah we mostly just kissed though

Emo Girl: me and Katara went further than you chickens

Gay Queen: EW I DONT WANT TO KNOW IM ACE I DONT NEED TTHATTTTT

Sugar Queen: YEAH I DDNT THINK YOU WOULD

Gay Queen: did. did you go all the way? actually I don’t want to know

Sugar Queen: none of your business

Emo Girl: yes

Sugar Queen: MAI

Gay Queen: lmao I love all of you

Sparky: right back at you and LOOK ITS DRUK

Gay Queen: I can mentally see you finger gunning at me how did we not realize you’re bi ubtil now

Sparky: idk man the reason we had a gay moment is because the two of us finger gunned how’d I become gay

Gay Queen: what I physically cannot comprehend that sentence

Boomer Man: shhhhhhh we were stupid back then it’s ok now we’re well educated in all things gay

Gay Queen: yeah alright and tomorrow you’ll be like “WELL ACTUALLY IM STRAIGHT”

Princess: Zuko can you come here, I kissed Azula just because why not and now she’s panicking because she thinks she sexually harassed me despite the fact that I kissed her???

Gay Queen: yikes he’s coming

Sparky: FUCKING TATER TOT LEGS WONT GO ANY FASTER LALA IM COMING

Princess: um ok so. You are like. Pure legs. Wtf r u talking about

Gay Queen: oh yeah he does track did no one tell you

Sparky: I MADE IT

Princess: HE DOES TRACK??? actually that makes so much sense

Gay Queen: yup he’s lightning mcqueen

Baddest Bitch: I’m ok now. Thank you Lighting McQueen

Gay Queen: good! *virtual hug* lightning McQueen has served you well

Princess: I’m sorry I won’t kiss you without permission

Pink Gymnast: yeah make sure you tell her before you kiss her, she’s usually okay then

Baddest Bitch: no it wasn’t kiss thing I’m ok with that it’s just I thought I was hurting you

Princess: no I’m good! I can handle whatever you need, trust me

Baddest Bitch: I can assure you the kiss was definitely not what bothered me

Princess: :) okay time to log off the chat

Sparky: OK NO THIS IS MY SISTERS EW FUCKING NOPITY NOPE NOPE LIGHTNING MCQUEEN OUT

Gay Queen: *kermit voice* and here we see Zuko McQueen panicking because he cannot handle his sister being in a loving, healthy relationship

Sparky: she is having SEX RIGHT NOW SUKI HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE FACT THAT AANG IS GAVING SEX

Gay Queen: EW THEY DIDNT EVEN WAIT FOR YOU TO GET OUT AND NO AANG CANNOT HAVE SEC HE IS LIKE A CHULD AND MY KID BORGET

Sparky: SRYSJRDHFDFDRERYEUYEDFHKSTYEITYWI

Sugar Queen: um no. I’m his girlfriend. I allow him to have sex. I’m pretty sure Hakoda still thinks I’m a virgin

Gay Queen: yikes dude

Sparky: I JUST SAW MY SISTER GET MOLESTED AND I DONT KNOW HWETHER IM TALKIGN ABOUT YUE OR AZULA AND NOW I KNOW WHICH ONE WOULD TOP AND PLEASE SOMEOEN SAVE ME

Gay Queen: so who tops and who bottoms? I’m curious bc I think Yue would bottom

Sparky: YUE TOPS SURPISINGLY BUT THATS JOT THE POINT YOU CNA FIGURE OUT IF YOU TURN AROUND BUT DONT LOOK STOP DOING THAT

Gay Queen: im scarred for life send holy water

Boomer Man: this is why I’m vibing with my man Aang and Jet is judging all of you

Gay Queen: you r fucking my borther why

Boomer Man: EW FUCK NO IM NOT FUCKING AANG JET JUST THREW UP GROSS AANG IS LIKE MY BRO

Gay Queen: okay good

Sparky: Sokka, if you or Jet ever fuck Aang I’m never fucking you ever again

Twinkle Toes: I just got friendzoned by everyone in this chat

Sugar Queen: I still love you <3

Twinkle Toes: aww thanks love you too <3

Gay Queen: disgusting

Sparky: love. Disgusting

Gay Queen: lmao same monkey brain

Boomer Man: Jet just finished dying he needs to rant so get ready for one sentence max

Gay Queen: lmaoooo

Fuckboi Supreme: alright listen up. Aang is like my younger brother, and the same holds for pretty much everyone in this chat. We’ve known him since he was born, and only Katara and toph have the rights to fuck him, because they’re closest in age, and because they haven’t had to know him through the tough times and help him through things that he shouldn’t have gone through. I will protect him, and I am thoroughly against the thought of screwing my little borther

Sparky: wow. Sis popped off. And we were like 4 when he was born but I get where you're coming from and wholeheartedly support you

Boomer Man: um. So. DAMN WHERE DID THAT COME FROM

Fuckboi Supreme: my heart and soul goodbye

Sparky: can I cuddle with you please

Fuckboi Supreme: hell yeah babe go for it

Boomer Man: damn Zuko just climbed up a tree, jumped in through the window and tackled Jet in a hug in the most graceful form of, ‘fuck you im better than all of you’

Gay Queen: I know I made a video he’s so over the top for no reason at all

Emo Girl: and yet he bottoms. Katara bottoms for girls for all who are wondering.

Gay Queen: LMAO NICE ONE huh wouldn’t have thought

Sugar Queen: IF WE ARE DONE WITH THIS CONVERSATION THAT WOULD BE NICE

Gay Queen: ofc she bottoms how did I not realize this

Sparky: but it said explicitly for girls. Aang bott- EW NO GROSS GOODBYE

Gay Queen: guys can bottom for girls? no one respond to this if you do I will find you and steal your teeth

Sparky: I KNOW BUT I MEANT AANG IS MY CHILD I CNAT THINK OF HIM IN THIS WAY AND GO AHEAD I HAVE MONEY FOR MORE

Gay Queen: I was gonna say something but my head is empty I used all of my brain cells to make out with zuko

Baddest Bitch: I’m back and wtf happened here

Gay Queen: spare me the deatails please lala

Princess: ok<3

Gay Queen: NO THAT HEART RUINES IT I CANNOT WITH YOU

Princess: <3

Gay Queen: FRICK YOU

Sparky: stfu and come here and give me warmth

Princess: frick me

Gay Queen: me?

Princess: yeah why not

Gay Queen: I waS ASKING ZUKO BUT THIS WORKS TOO

Sparky: I’m very uncomfortable right now

Gay Queen: same

Sparky: no seriously, there is a remote lodged into my side

Gay Queen: yikes have Jet move it you’re with him right

Sparky: bro Jet just read the chat and he lifted me up and moved me with one arm.

Gay Queen: DAMN BRO CAN L I F T

Sparky: Suki go hangout with Yue I’m stealing Jet

Gay Queen: uh okay sure

Boomer Man: gross

Sparky: Sokka’s in gamer mode.

Pink Gymnast: can I come over? I wanna play mariokart!

Sparky: sure but rember the third door not the fourth or we all are going to be scarred. I mean, I already am but like

Twinkle Toes: wait what’s happening in the fourth door

Sparky: NOTHING AANG YOU DONT NEED TO KNOW

Twinkle Toes: okay :)

Boomer Man: how can you not hear it

Twinkle Toes: IM G A M E R SOKKA I CANNOT HEAR ANYTHING BUT THE SOUND OF MY VICTORY

Sparky: damn sick burn. But not as sick as mine was. Really. I was in the hospital for a year

Twinkle Toes: DAMMIT ZUKO SHUT UP LET ME HAVE THIS

Boomer Man: HAHA I WON THANKS FOR USING THE GUILT TRIP BABE

Twinkle Toes: GODAMMITTTT

Sparky: your welcome love! I’m sorry child I will avenge you

Twinkle Toes: you’re* :)

Princess: <3

Sparky: that was very ominous what did you do

Princess: Suki

Sparky: ….

Gay Queen: <3

Princess: ur welcome to join if you want! Wait, actually do you bottom or top

Sparky: as much as it wounds my pride I’m a bottom

Princess: the hurry the hell up

Sparky: see ya!

Chapter Text

Group Chat - Guess we’re poly now
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Gay Queen: y’know it’d be realllll awkward if we all broke up

Princess: nah bc we’re bros BEFORE hoes

Gay Queen: true, true

Sparky: I’m getting serious Asian fondue haven’t we had this conversation before

Gay Queen: maybe but like. my memory is shit and Yue is barely ever online so

Boomer Man: ASIAN FONDUE IM WHEEZING WTF

Sparky: fuck autocorrect I meant déjà vu

Gay Queen: lol

Twinkle Toes: hi welcome to chilis

Sparky: guys. I have. Some news. Regarding Chile’s.

Gay Queen: you need to sTOP

Gay Queen: chili’s or Chile? there’s a diff

Sparky: both.

Gay Queen: Speak And We Shall Answer

Sparky: not only have I been assigned as a bottom because I was not given the check, I might have to go to Chile for something. Like Katara. Or did she go to Mexico? Idk man

Gay Queen: I can’t remember either lmao but we yes to all of the above

Sugar Queen: me neither, don’t worry

Boomer Man: I’m not sure how to react to the news of you leaving. Jet, how we doing cause I’m not sure

Fuckboi Supreme: lol he’ll be fine and we’ll be fine

Sparky: I’m taking Druk with me in case another murderous squirrel comes at me

Fuckboi Supreme: FUCK SOKKA WE ARE NOT FINE

Sparky: really? You love Druk more than me? :(

Fuckboi Supreme: no babe love you too but you’re a grown ass man and druk is baby

Boomer Man: it really depends on how you look at the situation

Sparky: you two are on the couch till I leave

Gay Queen: lmao rip Jet and Sokka

Princess: forever doomed to neck cricks and back pains

Twinkle Toes: been there too many times. that’s why I ordered a softer couch

Sugar Queen: not because of me, just cause he can’t remember to go to bed after turning off the TV

Twinkle Toes: liar half the time you exile me out of our room

Sugar Queen: can you blame me?

Twinkle Toes: yeah :( it hurts my feelings :( I probably deserve it though

Gay Queen: we hold these truths to be self evident that all men are created equal, but when I meet Thomas Jefferson, imma compel him to include women in the sequel WORK

Sparky: ANGELICA

Gay Queen: ELIZAAAAA

Sparky: AND PEGGY

Twinkle Toes: THE SCHUYLER SISTERS

Sparky: HECK YEAH WHERES TOPH SHE LOVES THIS SONG

Blind Bandit: Im here, I’m queer and I have no fear

Sparky: BEUTIFUL

Gay Queen: lol true poetry

Sparky: poetry is a wierd word

Gay Queen: y’know what’s ever weirder? yacht. That word doesn’t look like how it’s spelled and sounds so fuckin fake

Sparky: I own one and I pronounced it like, ‘yach-TTTTTT’ I’ve never seen someone look so offended by my existence. Except maybe Ozai

Gay Queen: lmao why would you say it like that

Sparky: the real question is why NOT

Gay Queen: fair

Twinkle Toes: I thought it was pronounced “yachet” like “hachet” for the longest time

Sparky: lmao no but I do need to have a serious conversation with all of you. Mostly Jet and Sokka but I guess I can tell you too

Gay Queen: dope go for it

Fuckboi Supreme: sure, what do you need?

Boomer Man: I fear for my life right now

Sparky: I want a kid. Like a genuine child not a dog.

Fuckboi Supreme: gimme ten minutes I’ll find one

Boomer Man: thats a really big decision, Zuko and JET WTF????

Gay Queen: I just saw him sprint down the street from my window is he gonna kidnap someone’s child

Sparky: guys please, I want to adopt a kid. Can we please talk like adults for once? I’m even punctuating what more do you want

Gay Queen: Yeah, ofc. I know I’m not Jet or Sokka but i think it’s be cool to be like an aunt or sm

Boomer Man: I think it’s a good idea but I need to ask- what brought this on?

Sparky: I already have a little girl in mind. Her name is Izumi.

Fuckboi Supreme: is she at the place on 7th street? Bc if she is I can talk to her rn

Sparky: eh, no. She’s in Japan.

Gay Queen: have t you not been to Japan in like,, the past 7 years

Sparky: I still know fluent Japanese.

Fuckboi Supreme: dammit okay

Sparky: guys, please. She’s so wonderful. She’s nine years old, she has Azula’s black hair and she looks so much like me, it’s terrifying. She has the same gold-ish eyes and the same smile. But she’s absolutely beautiful.

Gay Queen: she sounds adorable and I can’t wait to meet her already m.

Sparky: But there’s a reason I picked her. She has scars all across her back. Her father was abusive with pretty much anything he could get his hands on. She has anorexia, depression, and severe trust issues. I really want to help her. But it’s not easy and it’s not the same as adopting a regular kid.

Twinkle Toes: I’m not mentally prepared to be an uncle yet but she sounds amazing and when do we get to meet her?

Sparky: the only downside is, I’m going to have to live in Japan with her till she’s declared mentally stable and allowed to leave the country. That could take years.

Gay Queen: is that an actual thing? I feel like it’s not

Sparky: apparently. It’s in the policy and everything.

Sparky: WAIT I FOUND A LOOPHOLE IM GOING TO ABDUCT THE THERPAIST AND WE’LL BE ALL GOOD

Gay Queen: Can we get a hell yeah?

Sparky: um but it says she should probably only stick with adoptive parents for a month pr so to adjust because she doesn’t do well with lots of people. And we can be a bit….much.

Gay Queen: that’s chill she can take her time but please send me a pic of herrrrrr

Sparky: ok, so SOCIETY IS A BITCH SO I NEED ONE OF THE FEMALES ON THIS CHAT TO SIGN ADOPTION PAPARRS BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY CNA SAY NO TO GAY PEOPLE JAJDHKWOAKCVKWLKAKD FUCKING DENIED BITCH

Gay Queen: aight, which one of y’all am I marrying

Sugar Queen: mood. Prob Zuko

Gay Queen: asdfghjkl what do you mean mood Katara-

Sparky: Suki you don’t qualify. Apparently you need to have a ‘stable future’ wtf does that even mean you are a college student

Gay Queen: bulllll-fuckin- shittttt

Sparky: ohhhhhhhh student debt. Makes sense now

Gay Queen: what about Mai? She’s p stable and she speaks japanese

Emo Girl: sure why not. But why not go with katara. She’s going to be a fucking doctor

Gay Queen: I mean I guess Katara works too but she doesn’t speak Japanese

Sparky: OK STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH AND TELL ME WHOS SIGANTURE I HAVE TO FORGE PEOPLE

Twinkle Toes: this is fhkhgking hilarious

Emo Girl: ill do it

Sparky: NICE SEE THIS IS WHY I CAN COPY YOU GUYSS SIGANUTRE FOR MOMENT LIKE THESE

Gay Queen: should we be concerned about that

Sparky: HECK IT SAYS THAT THEY HAVE TO SEE ME AND MAI TOGETHER HER GAY ASS CANT DO THAT

Emo Girl: I am dead inside yes. Especially towards men.

Gay Queen: so what’re y’all ggonna do

Sparky: ALSO FIRST THINGS FIRST, NO MORE SWEARING WE ARE GETTING A CHILD

Gay Queen: can we each all have one last swear?

Sparky: ok. I’ll go first. Fuck.

Gay Queen: Bitch

Twinkle Toes: MOTHA FUCKAAAAA

Sparky: NO.

Boomer Man: Idk man I’m not feeling the swearing vibe.

Twinkle Toes: yes

Sparky: I broke your PS5

Boomer Man: YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT

Gay Queen: lol there it is

Sparky: GUYS WE DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS

Sparky: APPARENTLY MORE PEOPLE WANT HER. NO SHES MY CHILD AND MY CHILD ONLY

Gay Queen: when does your plane leave? I’ll help mai pack

Sparky: what do you mean when, I already left and there Mai in the trunk

Gay Queen: bruh wHat

Emo Girl: I am stuck in the back of a private jet, this is the best trunk in the world

Twinkle Toes: [gif of John Mulaney: “This is the height of luxury!”]

Sparky: YOU CANT MAKE ME LUAGH WHEN IM YELLING AT THE EPILOT TO GO FASTER

Gay Queen: wow so chaotic dude

Emo Girl: oh hello Druk. I was not aware you were here.

Gay Queen: legally how fast can planes go? I need to know for science

Sparky: IDK BUT I INTEND TO FIND OUT HURRY THE HELL UP JEFF

Emo Girl: it was Jim

Sparky: JEFF , WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SO SLOW

Gay Queen: why tf do white people have such generic names

Fuckboi Supreme: as a white people I can confirm that white people all have really generic names expect me

Sparky: OK JEFF IS FIRED THROW HIM OUT OF THE PLANE AND LET ME DRIVE

Twinkle Toes: ZUKO NO WHEN DID YOU LEARN TO FLY PLANES THIS IS NOT GOING TO END WELL

Emo Girl: oh my. It seems I’m about to die

Sparky: FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I CAN FLY PLANES, JETS, DRIVE CARS, TRUCKS, BUSES, MOTORCYCLES, AND TRAINS

Gay Queen: you’re gay, can drive aND DO MATH??? ultimate superpower

Sparky: NOT WELL BUT I GET BY

Emo Girl: we are descending too fast for it to be safe. I wish we hadn’t thrown Jim out the window.

Gay Queen: Jim no come back TwT my friends can’t die because of this

Sparky: JEFF IS DEAD TO ME WE’RE HERE WE’RE IN JAPAN KONICHIWA BITCHES LETS GO GET ME AN ADORABLE CHILD

Gay Queen: supersonic speed huh??

Emo Girl: I could have gotten here faster if I teleported.

Twinkle Toes: mood

Sparky: GUYS, I JUST PUT DRUK AND MAI IN A STROLLER AND TORE DOWN THE STREET RO GET TO THE ADOPTION CENTER

Gay Queen: 🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️

Emo Girl: I have dog slobber on me and most definitely do not fit in this stroller.

Gay Queen: she’s nine? Why do you have a stroller?

Sparky: I HAVE AN AANG WHY WOULD I NOT HAVE A STROLLER

Gay Queen: ,,, does he fit though?

Sparky: yes. Yes he does.

Chapter Text

Mild Trigger Warning

***

Group Chat - Look who can Therapy
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Emo Girl: well. I just punched Izumi’s therapist. And now everyone’s scarred for life. And Zuko is having a meltdown. And panic attack. And can’t breathe. And I need help.

Gay Queen: ooh spill the tea babe but also like. get help

Boomer Man: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

Gay Queen: bruh get with the program

Sparky: WOW FUCKING WOW IMAGINE THIS YOU GUYS: your abused daughter’s therapist is actually your long lost mom that left you with your deadbeat dad that helped you realize you were gay and poly

Emo Girl: Ursa is the therapist.

Baddest Bitch: wait what

Gay Queen: huh

Twinkle Toes: who woulda thought

Sparky: HOW ARE YOU GUYS CALM RIGHT NOW ARE YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING SERIOUS

Gay Queen: tbh I’m more concerned with how you’re coping and also Azula

Emo Girl: Ok, so I just explained to Izumi what’s happening so she no longer thinks I’m a madman

Baddest Bitch: Ursa is alive? I thought….well I’m not sure what I thought

Sugar Queen: its concerning that your calling her Ursa not mom.

Pink Gymnast: Okay, just reading the chat. And damn, a lot happens in 24 hours. But how is everyone coping?

Sparky: when the woman that gave birth to you and promised to always protect you leaves you to succumb to depression and suicidal thoughts, she is not your mom. She’s just the person that brought you into this world

Pink Gymnast: Wow, okay. How are you faring?

Boomer Man: do we need to fly over there

Emo Girl: Zuko has relearned how to breathe and Izumi is starting to lose trust in her therapist. I would say this is funny and reality show material if I wasn’t silently having a stroke because of information overload

Gay Queen: it is kind of a lot to process

Baddest Bitch: Ok. I’m fine now. Zuko, get Izumi but leave Ursa.

Pink Gymnast: I’ve just gotta say, you guys are doing really well

Sugar Queen: I think you should talk to her and smooth things over

Baddest Bitch: if she wanted to leave, fine. But it’s my decision if I want her back. I don’t. She was never there before, I don’t need her now.

Gay Queen: yeah Azula! You do you, nice!

Sparky: WE ARE NOT FALLING FOR THAT BULLSHIT DISNEY CRAP WHERE WE FORGIVE AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. TRUE LOVES KISS? BULSHIT WE DONT DO THAT AROUND HERE. URSA MADE HER DECISION 20 YEARS AGO. 20. YEARS. STICK WITH IT BITCH.

Gay Queen: heck yeah! Tbh she kind of was an abuse enabler, she doesn’t get to be forgiven that quickly

Boomer Man: Preach! Also, idk where Jet!s taking me but he grabbed me by the collar and I’m being dragged across the floor. I think we’re at the airport

Gay Queen: you’re being ✨kidnapped✨

Boomer Man: cool

Fuckboi Supreme: he’s my boyfriend I get to kidnap him Suki shhh

Sparky: SHES SORRH??? SHE HEATD ABIUT HOW OZAI WAS ARRESTED AND WANTED TO HELP US BUT WAS TOO BUSY IN HER THERPH COLLEG THING??? BITCH??? YOU LEFT YOUR 13 YEAR OLD SON AND 11 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER ALONE BECAUSE OF FUCKING COLLEG AND SELF PITY??? UN-FUCKING-BELEIVABLE

Gay Queen: Yikes

Sparky: YALL, you know what. I don’t got the time for this bs. Lets go.

Emo Girl: Zuko just put on those, ‘I’m a whore but I have one hell of a sugar daddy’ sunglasses, a Louis Vuitton purse, high heels, a fucking pant suit FOR WOMEN LIKE THE SUPER REVEALING ONES THAT ARE SKIN TIGHT, and I swear if I wasn’t gay I’d marry him right now

Gay Queen: what’s a pantsuit and also isn’t Zuko just his own sugar daddy bc Jet and Sokka were broke before they started dating

Sparky: Yes. Yes I am.

Boomer Man: HEY! I EARN PROPER MONEY NOW BECAUSE I HAVE A JOB! IM THE CEO AT AMAZON I EARN A SHIT TON OF MONEY NOW WITH MY, ‘STUPID IDEAS’

Fuckboi Supreme: [gif of John Mulaney: “And we were like, we know, but hey!”]

Gay Queen: and I’m sure Zuko here had nothing involved in how you got that job?

Sparky: actually I didn’t.

Gay Queen: huh well good for you then Sokka

Boomer Man: thank you. I’m pretty sure Jet’s somehow rich now too. I forgot his job though

Fuckboi Supreme: [Image: stonks meme]

Sparky: OH YEAH, JET IS THE CEO OF pear? What was- APPLE NO IT WAS APPLE NOT PEAR

Gay Queen: ZUKO YOU FRICKIN GAIFHSHVSHJZ I CANT WITH YOU

Sparky: LOOK RIGHT NOW, DRUK AND IZUMI ARE ASLEEP AND CIDDLING, I CANT OK

Gay Queen: and you DIDNT SEND US A PICTURE?? outrageous

Sparky: [Image: Izumi is wearing one of Zuko’s track sweatshirts which hangs well below her knees. Her arms are wrapped protectively around Druk and the dog also seems to be in a defensive potion around Izumi. The two are dead asleep.]

Gay Queen: asdfghjkl you’re never seeing either of them again they’re both my children as soon as you get home

Sparky: HEY NO TAKE AANG OR APPA

Gay Queen: I’ll take ALL OF THEM

Emo Girl: I think I have become attached. Even though everyone specifically said she should only stay with adoptive parents for a month. This seems like a problem.

Twinkle Toes: okay I’m cool w that

Fuckboi Supreme: hey mai aren’t you technically her other adoptive parent and me and Sokka don’t count

Emo Girl: No, technically, Zuko is both the mother and the father since he signed for both.

Gay Queen: huh okay oof

Sparky: Adoptive parent means who she’s going to live with, so it means me Sokka and Jet if she isn’t like wierded out by us. I really hope not.

Gay Queen: what if she is though?

Sparky: then I’m not sure what to do.

Gay Queen: then we just have to pray for the best I guess

Emo Girl: this seems like a conundrum

Sparky: 🥺🥺🥺 guys I just asked her what she thought about all of kind of you know relationshippinf together and she said it must be nice to be loved by so many people since she isn’t loved by anyone and I just said I loved her and she looks to shocked and then hugged me and started crying and fuck now I’m crying too

Gay Queen: 😭😭noooo babyyy you have so many people waiting to love you for who you are we all love her so much even though we haven’t met her yet

Boomer Man: IM NOT CRYING YOU ARE

Sparky: she did ask to take it slow. And that she wanted to meet who I was married to. So I guess we’re doing Sokka first. Because. We legally married. And then privately married Jet, when I forged even more signatures,

Gay Queen: WHAT WGEN DID YOU GET MARRIED WHAT THE SHIT WHY DONT YOU TELL US

Sparky: did you not hear the ‘private’ part. It was hush hush

Gay Queen: tbh lil bit offended that we weren’t invited

Boomer Man: that’s fair. We’re doing a big one as soon as we can.

Gay Queen: you better

Twinkle Toes: damn okay yall

Sparky: Izumi is reading the texts over my shoulder. Everyone say hi!

Gay Queen: Hi Izumi! I’m Suki, your favorite wine aunt!

Sugar Queen: I’m Katara, the aunt that makes sure you don’t die!

Sparky: yeah ok, hold Katara to that she’s the only reason I’m alive

Twinkle Toes: Hi Izumi! I’m your big bro Aang, who’s the youngest and coolest of everyone here!

Boomer Man: I’m your dad! I think. Yeah. But only if you're ok with it.

Sparky: she just looked at me starry eyed and said like it physically shocked her that you wanted her as a daughter and my heart but died

Gay Queen: baby Izumi we all want you, okay? So just know that we all love you and want you as our kid

Sparky: Jet? Toph? Azula? Ty Lee? Yue? Intros please? OH MY GOD IZUMI HASNT MET UNCLE IROH SHOOT SOMEOEN ADD HIM

Fuckboi Supreme: Hi Izumi! I’ll be your… other dad? Technically?? Anyways I already love you, okay?

Sparky: she asked if Papa was ok. And that she loved you too. All of you

Fuckboi Supreme: yup! And can someone change my username please

Sparky: HECK IZUMI YOU LITTLE ADORABLE THORN IN MY SIDE SHE JUST CALLED ME MOM AND RAN OFF GIGGLING

Gay Queen: can you believe how much I love her for that

Baddest Bitch: I love her already.

Gay Queen changed Fuckboi Supreme’s nickname to Best Papa

Boomer Man: OOH DO ME DO ME

Best Papa: ,,, this works

Sparky: SUKI BE VERY CAREFUL WITH YOUR NEXT MOVES

Gay Queen: im gonna try

Gay Queen changed Boomer Man’s nickname to Fatherist Dad

Gay Queen: I panicked sorry

Fatherist Dad: I had such high hopes for you

Sparky: I just face timed with Iroh, and Izumi just fell in love and asked me when we get to meet him

Gay Queen: is Uncle Iroh gonna visit soon? I miss him

Sparky: YES AND IM SO EXCIETD AND IZUMI I SWEAR TO GOD THE NEXT TIME YOU CALL ME MOM I WILL TICKLE YOU

Gay Queen: my heart is swelling and I feel emotions

Gay Queen Changed Sparky’s nickname to Mom

Princess: sorry I’m late, had some training. Hi Izumi! I’m you aunt that’s going to take you on cool adventures because I’m not broke!

Blind Bandit: Hi Izumi! I’m your cousin Toph because I refuse to be that old!

Mom: I TOLF YOU TO BE CAREFUL SUKI

Mom: ALSO AANG AND TOPH ARE PRACTICALLY IZUMI’S SIBLINGS

Gay Queen: yup! I’m the slightly older wine aunt lol

Mom: ok, so Izumi still doesn’t know how Ty Lee is where is she

Gay Queen changed Baddest Bitch’s nickname to Best Aunt Ever

Pink Gymnast: Oh, hi Izumi! I’m Ty Lee, your aunt who’ll teach you how to do flips and parkour!

Pink Gymnast: hey where’s Azula

Best Aunt Ever: I like my new name. Also, I’m in the basement

Gay Queen: I hoped you would lol

Emo Girl: guys. I have an important update

Emo Girl: Izumi has forever declared Zuko her mom and did the puppy eyes and everything. Zuko is forever forced into his role.

Gay Queen: lMAOO @Mom you’re gonna live up to your name~~~

Mom: you know what?

Gay Queen: Sudddenly I Fear For My Life

Mom: LETS MAKE THE MOMS OF JAPAN PROUD I GOT THIS

Chapter Text

Group Chat - WE HAVE ATTAINED THE CHILD
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Mom: children. I want another. I want one more after that. I WANT ALL THE BABIES

Gay Queen; how’s Izumi doing btw

Mom: she doesn’t like fruit loops. Shes just like Jet

Gay Queen: lit I like fruit loops tho

Fatherist Dad: I haven’t slept with Zuko in a week, Izumi keeps dragging him into her room to sleep with her and id be mad but it’s so fucking cute

Gay Queen: lmao someone hasn’t been getting laid recently

Mom: HAVE SEX IN THE SAME HOUSE AS A CHILD???? SINFUL YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED TO EVEN THINK OF SUCH A THING

Gay Queen: Zuko how do you think second children are born

Mom: NO NO NO NO STORKS CRANES FLAMINGOES NO SEX

Twinkle Toes: ??? here we see a disaster gay in his natural habitat

Emo Girl: is Izumi good with Jet and Sokkaor am I stepping in

Gay Queen: .?? what prompts you to ask that

Mom: Izumi is a bit shy but she likes looking at pictures. She likes to sing, she’s already into law and a fucking GENIUS at the age of NINE. I couldn’t even walk stakrght at nine

Gay Queen: yeah cool but can she do the renegade at 5x speed

Mom: like a fucking BOSS

Gay Queen: mine now

Mom: Izumi wants to meet Iroh. And Katara. Specifically. Then Yue and Suki. And then everyone else together. Idk why

Twinkle Toes: pog

Blind Bandit: Fuckin poggers bro

Gay Queen: listen. You two need to stOP

Mom: guys. Izumi. And Druk. All has been said that’s needed to

Gay Queen: cutieeeeeessss send a pic

Emo Girl: wait still how is Jet doing with this whole, I have a stolen child from Japan

Best Papa: p good. Sometimes it’s hard to understand bc she switches language frequently

Mom: Izumi keeps messing up his hair

Best Papa: that too

Mom: Izumi does switch when she’s excited or doing something new. GUYS FUCK SHES NEVER HAD ICE CREAM BEFORE GIVE ME TWENTY MINUTES

Twinkle Toes: I don’t think I realized this before but like. We’re officially old now

Mom: damn. I’ve hit the ripe old age to 24. Tragic.

Gay Queen: you have a KID ZUKO. YOURE OLD

Mom: I AM FINANCIALLY STALBE AND MUTRE

Gay Queen: yes you are a financially stable adult who is very mature and knows how to spell well

Mom: BRAIN FREEZE IZUMI HOW ARE YOU ABLE TO BITE ICE CREAM

Twinkle Toes: spell well lmao that rhymes hehehe

Blind Bandit: SHE HITES ICE CREAM??. ATEOCIUOS

Emo Girl: she really is my child

Best Aunt Ever: NO DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MAI

Pink Gymnast: really. Please don’t.

Mom: GUYS FUCK I JUST SHOWED IZUMI AZULA AND SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO BE LIKE HER WHEN SHE GROWS UP

Gay Queen: awwwwww

Best Aunt Ever: stop. No feelings.

Gay Queen: awww she really does car :)

Mom: I INVITED AZULA AND IZUMI HAS LITERAL STARS IN HER EYES LOOKING AT HER

Twinkle Toes: cute but also azula really does car

Best Aunt Ever: she just hugged me and I’m ok with feelings now

Pink Gymnast: wholesome

Mom: OK LISTEN AZULA FEELS THE MOST FEELINGS AND SHE IS THE BEST AND EVERYONE LOVES HER AND I THINK IZUMI SPIKED MY ICE CREAM WITH CUTE CHILD SYNDROME

Princess: THAGS SO CUTE! Sorry I was getting boba for all of us

Mom: you are a god.

Princess: I know.

Mom: ok, Izumi wants to go home now, off we go

Gay Queen: tell her that I’m dying to meet her!

Sparky: her mouth is stuffed, but she sounds excited to meet you too

Chapter Text

Group Chat - Zuko wants another child but Jet is already having a mental breakdown with one
People - Zuko, Azula, Sokka, Jet, Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Aang, Suki, Toph, Yue

Best Papa: he WONT STOP BEGGING ME FOR ANOTHER

Fatherist Dad: Izumi wants a sibling. This is getting dangerous

Mom: I WILL GET OFF OF TESTOSTERONE AND MAKE THE BABY MYSELF IF THATS WHAT IT TAKES

Gay Queen; damn that’s some dedication

Best Aunt Ever: wait more children. I haven’t even met the first

Twinkle Toes: same but also like. Zuko I’m in like my last year of college and you already have a kiD

Mom: yeah you did Azula.

Best Aunt Ever: oh yeah.

Mom: loOK I JUST WANT KIDS OK

Twinkle Toes: valid ankfjshdjsk

Sugar Queen: 🥺🥺🥺

Gay Queen: sinCE my memory is absolute and toTAL shit we are changing the names back

Gay Queen changed Mom’s name to Sparky

Gay Queen changed Best Aunt Ever’s name to Baddest Bitch

Gay Queen changed Fatherist Dad’s name to Boomer Man

Gay Queen changed Best Papa’s name to Fuckboi Supreme

Twinkle Toes: oh thanks I thought I was just stupid

Sparky: well you are

Sugar Queen: 🥺🥺🥺

Twinkle Toes: dad that hurt my feelINGS

Sparky: whatever Katara is having a meltdown from meeting Izumi

Twinkle Toes: wait wait wait does that mean that me and Izumi are technically siblings

Sugar Queen: 🥺🥺🥺

Sparky: no. You are my child she is my child but from alternate worlds

Gay Queen: damn is Katara okay

Twinkle Toes: does tha tmean IM AN ALIEN!!?????

Sugar Queen: 🥺🥺🥺

Sparky: Katara’s fine. Aang, get out of your room and meet Izumi. And we all knew that sorry you learned so late

Twinkle Toes: okay dad

Emo Girl: if Katara stealers my child I break her legs

Twinkle Toes: asfgjkhllggskll she’s even cuter in person what a babbiiiieeee

Sparky: wtF WHERE DID MAI COME FROM

Gay Queen: stealers her child okay mai

Princess: OMFG IZUMI IS PRECIOUS AND SHES MINE NOW

Gay Queen: Yue watch out for mai!!

Sparky: IF ANYONE EVEN TRIES TO TAKE MY CHILD I WILL RIP OUT THEIR HEART AND EAT IT IN FRONT OF THEM (this applies for Appa, Druk, Izumi Toph, and Aang)

Pink Gymnast: welll, technically if you rip out their heart they die so

Sparky: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GO THERE RIGHT NOW- no Izumi we just had ice cream no more

Gay Queen: yes ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎

Emo Girl: the child is mine. Only. Mine. And maybe Zuko’s.

Gay Queen: I mean officially yeah but okay mai damn

Sparky: hey Suki wanna come over and meet Izumi- no more ice cream child that is final.

Gay Queen: im at the dentists rn texting while he opens my mouth

Boomer Man: I JUST REALIZED I GOT MY NAME BACK HECK YEAH- Izumi if Zuko said no I can’t say yes this is why peer pressure sucks

Fuckboi Supreme: yeah idiot didn’t you notice before

Boomer Man: no to both Izumi and Jet

Gay Queen: lol what did Izumi ask you?

Sparky: Izumi is giving him puppy eyed while asking for ice cream. Sokka, I swear if you say yes

Gay Queen: let the girl have ice cream!! #freedomforizumi2k21

Sparky: she had two scoops with extra sprinkles, you wanna deal with that sugar high dentist queen?

Gay Queen: bitchass let her have it she’s not gonna get cavities from one spoon

Baddest Bitch: you’ve heard of dom energy, zuzu’s got mom energy

Gay Queen: lmao I’m giving with lala now sorry zuzu

Sparky: thank.

Gay Queen: tbh I surprised that Azula hasn’t murdered me yet adhkfshkkf

Baddest Bitch: Zuko likes you. It’s a problem

Boomer Man: WTF THIS CHILD IS PERFECT IT LIKE VEGETABLES WHATS WRONG WITH IT

Twinkle Toes: I mean I liked vegetables but then again I also liked, like, broccoli

Sparky: but we already disclosed you were an alien before

Twinkle Toes: you’re right, sorry dad

Sparky: hey guys did you know if I go off the T I can actually have a baby? Who knew girls could give birth?

Gay Queen: oh my god Zuko you’ve had Izumi for like a day also stop kisgendering yourself

Sparky: shhhHHHHHHHHHH and I’m not I want child

Gay Queen: misgendering*

Boomer Man: is that really ok for your mental health though? In middle school, you hated being even considered close to a girl. And high school. And college.

Sparky: hm, I forgot about that

Gay Queen: I don’t think anyone likes being identidehfidhl incorrctuly

Sparky: in all fairness, I make a nice looking girl though

Blind Bandit: They took out her wisdom teeth so she’s like not okay right now just a heads up

Sparky: LMAO IZUMI JUST SAID THAT SUKI COULD USE SOME ICE CREAM RIGHT ABOUT NOW

Gay Queen: ice cremanz counds nice

Sparky: please tell me I wasn’t this bad when I was high

Blind Bandit: oh, you weren’t this bad

Blind Bandit: You were worse.

Boomer Man: Suki’s illiterate you were fucking bonkers

Emo Girl: who the shit says bonkers

Gay Queen: im cryinfbsggfffffghjggghhv why so funnaYYY

Boomer Man: me

Sparky: damn Suki tapping into her British is kinda, ‘funnay’

Twinkle Toes: toph please take zukos phone away and just have Gerald video her

Gay Queen: sHAADDAP XYKO

Sparky: WAIT GERALD IS HERE WHERE HE NEVER TALKS BACK I WONDER OF IZUMI CAN SWAY HIM

Blind Bandit: Yeah, this is Gerald typing. He’s just typing everything I say right now lol

Sparky: oh yeah

Boomer Man: wait does this mean that Gerald knows us as much as Toph does? That’s more than our fucking parents. Well, parent. Or guardian. Or whatever, you get the point

Blind Bandit: I mean yeah, probably. I’ll let Gerald say something I guess

Sparky: EVERYONE SHUT UP I NEED TO HEAR THIS

Blind Bandit: Masters Zuko, Sokka, you are treated with the same reverence as Toph. She is my child, or similar, as I have known her for all of her life, and I have known you all since you were children as well. The same goes for everyone else here- I feel as though I have known you since you were young. My well wishes to you all.

Sparky: 🥺🥺🥺

Princess: the F E E L I N G S

Boomer Man: damn. I was not ready for all those feels

Emo Girl: I respect you a lot more now. And that’s saying something cause I respected you a lot before too.

Gay Queen: hahshhjawswsdxdawswwwwwwwwww

Sparky: couldn’t have said it better myself

Blind Bandit: okay geralds filming Suki now I’ll send you guys the video soon

Boomer Man: waiT GUYS WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN A CHILD SCRAPES THEIR KNEE THERE ARE TEARS WHATS HAPPENING

Twinkle Toes: rubbing alcohol :/

Sparky: WAIT DID MY PRECIOUS CHILD FALL WHICH ONE

Boomer Man: IZUMI WHAT DO I DO ZUKO’S WITH JET ACROSS TOWN

Twinkle Toes: go find rubbing alcohol, disenfect the cut with it and a cotton ball, prepare yourself for tears, then put a bandaid over it

Sparky: IM HERE, GIVE THE CHILD, MAI BROUGHT THE MED KIT

Boomer Man: I’m crying and I don’t know if it’s because Izumi’s hurt or these two teleported across town, send help. Oh, also Jet’s hyperventilating because he’s worse with feelings

Twinkle Toes: damn do y’all even know how to parenT

Boomer Man: not a clue

Sparky: if there was a degree, I’d have a Masters

Twinkle Toes: y’all should’ve picked up a “what to expect when expecting” book lol

Emo Girl: Izumi wont let Zuko go. Just hugs. And my heart is feeling good.

Twinkle Toes: eh shes good

Pink Gymnast: did you clean it?????

Sparky: yeah. Alcohol, wipe, and princess bandaids.

Sugar Queen: wait how do YOU know how to parent Aang?

Twinkle Toes: I lived in a monastery for six years with kids all younger than the age of 7

Sugar Queen: yeah we might need that knowledge soon.

Twinkle Toes: what a vague and potentially concerning comment

Sparky: WAIT IS THIS A PREGNANCY ANNOUCNEMETN

Twinkle Toes: OH THAT MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE

Sugar Queen: depends on how accurate drug store tests are

Blind Badnit: im back after filming Suki what did I misss

Boomer Man: Katara wait, but college? Don’t you want a doctorate?

Twinkle Toes: I exist too??? I’ll parent????

Sugar Queen: about that….GUYS I GOT MY DEGREE!!!!

Fuckboi Supreme: Good job!!! how did you do it so fast though

Emo Girl: smart at the speed of speed

Twinkle Toes: [video link: that’s some real speed bitch]

Sparky: IM CRYING EVERYONE BRIJG SOME CHAMPAGNE WAIT NO I MEAN APPLE JUICE TO CELEBRATE NEW BABY AND DEGREES

Sparky: WAIT THAT EXPLAINS WHY DRUK AND APPA WANTED TO BE CLOSE TO KATARA’S STOMACH, THEY KNEW

Blind Bandit: [Video:

Suki spinning in circles on the pavement in front of their apartment complex.

“Suki, how do you feel?”

“Purple! Like, so pretty!”

The cameraman, presumably Gerald, snickers.

“Hm, and what happened at the dentists office?”

“I fought a giant roll of Parmesan.”

“And?”

“I lost.”

“Was it a good fight?”

“No. He handed my ass to me.”

“Aww, that sounds terrible. What if we go inside and cuddle to make up for it?”

“Sorry lady, but I have a girlfriend. I can’t cheat on her with you.”

“What if I told you that I was your girlfriend?”

“Nope! That’s what they all say. My real girlfriend is super pretty and nice and gives the best kisses.”

Toph walks up to Suki, shanking her leg with her cane.

“Toph! It is you!”]

Blind Bandit: lemme just say that was a real ride

Sparky: there is NO way I was worse than that

Fuckboi Supreme: babe you were so much worse

Boomer Man: you’d be surprised how scared you were of killer squirrels

Twinkle Toes: at least Suki was cute about it lol

Sparky: ruDE AANG HAD BEEN DISOWNED

Twinkle Toes: dammit, not again

Twinkle Toes: [Image: “aw fuckles its knuckles”]

Sparky: NO I WANT HIM BACK HES MINE GO AWAY HES GIVING ME GRANDCHILDREN

Twinkle Toes: nO it’s MY CHILD AND YOU WINT GET TO HILD IT UNTIL YOU GIVE ME IZUMI FOR A DAY

Sugar Queen: PLURAL? GRAND? WTF?

Boomer Man: Zuko just stared at the phone for a solid minute and Izumi asked if he broke like her toy car

Twinkle Toes: dammmmnnnnn

Emo Girl: are we just gonna ignore Katara’s mini mental breakdown up there? Yes? Ok.

Twinkle Toes: yeah she’ll be fine in a minute

Sparky: AANG WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO ME? YOU WANT IZUMI FOR A WHOLE FUCKING DAY? THATS FWENTY FOUR HOURS DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH COULD HAPPEN TO A CHILD IN THAT TIME

Twinkle Toes: I mean, it doesn’t have to be anytime soon, just within the next 9 months and I only meant from like 9 am to 9 pm

Sugar Queen: wait Aang, you’re still in college. How the fuck are you gonna do this?

Sugar Queen: guys, abortion is still on the table. I’m not sure I’m ready for this.