Chapter Text
Remus barely has time to register a mop of messy, dark hair before he’s dragged into a bone-crushing hug.
“Moooony!” James calls out. “I missed you so much! Really, not having to do any homework for weeks hardly compensates for not seeing my friends every day.”
Remus scoffs as he untangles himself from James’s arms. “It’s not like you actually do your homework anyway. But yeah, I’ve missed you too.” And that’s the truth. Of course it’s nice to be able to spend lots of time with his mum and dad, but when he even starts missing having to talk James and Sirius out of some disastrous idea for a prank every five minutes, he knows it’s about time for school to start again. Now that September is coming up soon, he’s meeting his friends at Diagon Alley to buy school supplies and hopefully have some butterbeers and catch up on everything that’s happened over the summer.
“Oi, Moony!” Peter clasps Remus on his shoulder. “How’ve you been, mate?”
“Wormtail!” Remus greets him happily. “It’s been good. How about you? How was your trip?”
“It was alright,” Peter replies. “But towards the end the folks were driving me crazy. Wouldn’t really mind for school to start again.”
James puts his arms around Remus’s and Peter’s shoulders as they make their way through the crowd towards the shops. “You know you’ve got real friends when you can’t wait to be stuffed in a dorm together again!”
Remus chuckles. It gives him a content feeling that his friends seem to miss him as much as he misses them over the summer break.
“So... Has one of you heard from him?” It takes James exactly five minutes before he mentions the elephant in the room. They are now at Flourish and Blotts to look at text books. At least, that’s what Remus is doing. James is looking at a book called “Sweeping through the Sky: the Fastest Brooms of the Decade, and what’s yet to come”, while Peter is flipping through some magical baking book, in which each pastry loudly tries to convince the reader to look no further, as they are the most delicious treat they’ll ever eat.
“If anyone would have heard from him, I’d think it’d be you,” Peter says.
“Well,” James says with a sly smile in Remus’s direction. “After last House Cup-party, I’d say it’d be Moony.”
Remus feels his cheeks burn as he keeps his eyes trained on the Advanced Potions textbook he’s currently holding.
Ah, yes. Last House Cup-party.
Gryffindor had indeed won the House Cup last year, which was a small miracle in itself, as James and Sirius were known to cost their house more points in a day than other students managed in a year (and maybe Peter and Remus weren’t helping the point count either, being part of The Marauders and all). However, last year, James and Sirius saw a young, muggle-born witch being harassed by a group of older Slytherins, and had jumped in and defended her, despite being severely outnumbered. McGonagall had awarded them with an impressive amount of points to Gryffindor.
Besides, James and Sirius were becoming experts at using their undeniable charm to get away with far more than most would, and many teachers had developed a soft spot for the charismatic trouble makers.
And then there was Slughorn, the teacher who made picking favourites into an art form, and his absolute number one, despite being a muggle-born Gryffindor, was Lily Evans. Impressed as he was with her talent, wit, and kindness, the Potions teacher didn’t let a class pass without finding an excuse to award her with at least ten points to Gryffindor.
So, Gryffindor had won the House Cup for the first time since... Well, since The Marauders had joined the house, Remus thinks, a bit ashamed. This was, of course, cause for a great celebration, and on their last evening at Hogwarts before the summer break, there had been a party in the Gryffindor common room. Everyone had been in a great mood, because of the House Cup and the prospect of weeks of freedom, and it had been a fantastic party, with drinks, food, music, games. At least, Remus supposes it was. He really wouldn’t know. He had spent the evening upstairs in the dorm, being snogged senseless by (and snogging senseless in return) Sirius Black.
Sirius Black. Gorgeous and popular Sirius Black. Brave and clever Sirius Black. Thoughtful and protective Sirius Black, who always manages to make him laugh. Remus doesn’t know what good he has done to deserve it, or wat deity he has to thank for it, but he treasured every moment of it. He has had a crush on Sirius for a long time, but never would he have imagined that Sirius would agree to snog him. Not just agree, initiate it, as Remus never would have dared to, firmly believing Sirius is out of his league. Out of anybody’s league really, in a league completely of his own.
And it didn’t even end there. He woke up the next morning with Sirius asleep next to him, clinging to him like an octopus. Remus wasn’t in the most comfortable position, he had to use the bathroom, it was incredibly warm, and he had loved every minute of it. On the train ride back, Sirius had snuggled up to him in their compartment.
Then the summer break had started, and nothing. No visit, no Floo call, not even a single letter. It did not help with Remus’s insecurities as to where he stood with Sirius.
James softly thuds him on the head with a book, to shake him from his thoughts. “I can practically hear you overthinking, Moony. Calm down. You know Padfoot always goes off the radar during the breaks. It’s normal.”
It is indeed normal behaviour for Sirius. He doesn’t owl. He says his parents disapprove of him being in Gryffindor, disapprove of him writing to Gryffindor friends, and disapprove of him writing to friends who aren’t from ‘proper’ families. He’s not allowed to use the family owls. Things improved a bit when James got him and Sirius the Two-way mirrors. Remus is a bit ashamed to admit, but there are times he visited James just to have a chance to talk to Sirius. It still isn’t what they’d hoped it’d be. Sirius can only talk at weird times, mostly at night from his dark bedroom, where they can hardly see him, saying that he doesn’t want his parents to find out about the mirror and run the risk of it being confiscated. On other occasions, James and Sirius could have agreed to talk, but Sirius just doesn’t show up, later saying he was held up by his family and couldn’t leave.
Sirius has once spent two weeks of summer at the Potter mansion, when his parents were having relatives over and they were afraid (and rightfully so) that Sirius would say something to offend them, and there was no other place for him to go, and he was at the Potters during one Christmas break when his parents were away on a trip, later admitting that they’re still under the impression he spent that break at Hogwarts. Both times had been amazing. Mrs. and Mr. Potter had absolutely adored Sirius, and treated him like a second son. Sirius had seemed to love the Potter household as well. Remus and Peter had visited as often as they could, and they’d gone swimming in summer, ice skating in winter, caused trouble in town, eaten too much fast food and ice cream, like vacation should be when you’re young. But when Sirius is staying at the Black residency, he never comes to visit and he never joins on their trips.
Admittedly, it slightly hurts that Sirius seems to prioritize his family obligations over spending time with his friends, and allows his parents to dictate who he writes and who he sees so much. It just seems so unlike Sirius, and it’s unsettling. Then again, Remus can understand it has to be difficult to be stuck between your parents and your friends, and he can’t blame Sirius for trying to keep the peace. James’s all-time record of staying mad at his friends is twenty minutes, and when it comes to Sirius specifically, ten minutes. So when they’re all back at Hogwarts together, everything is always fine again.
Remus had just hoped that, after that last night together, it would have been different. A short note would have been enough, just something to know that Sirius has been thinking of him. But this summer had actually been worse than ever. James hasn’t even spoken to Sirius through the mirror in weeks.
“I know it’s normal for him,” Remus says to James, who looks at him with such compassion that the urge to talk about it becomes just too much. “But that’s just the thing, isn’t it? Nothing's changed. So what if we all get back to Hogwarts and he keeps acting like nothing’s changed? Like it never happened?”
“I will personally hit him with an Instant Scalping Hex!” James proclaims.
“Oh, Merlin. Not his hair!” Peter says.
“No, but in all seriousness, Moony,” James says, and Remus knows he means it as he says ‘seriousness’ without making a pun. “I know him better than I know myself, and I can tell you that Pads is head over heels in love with you. You know that, don’t doubt that.”
Remus most certainly did not know that, thank you very much. He feels like someone has placed a Jelly-Legs Jinx on him, and maybe also a Jelly-Brain Jinx.
But before Remus has time to tell James that he’s taken one too many Bludgers to the head, Peter grabs his arm and hisses “At the entrance, look!”
Remus and James turn their heads to see a couple enter the store. The woman is slim and slight, while the man is tall and broad shouldered. They’re wearing classically elegant wizarding robes made of expensive fabric, and they look around the store with an arrogant superiority that makes Remus’s skin crawl.
Walburga and Orion Black.
They have the pale skin and dark hair that’s a common trait among members of the Black family, and they have the same aristocratic features and haughty look as Sirius has. But while Sirius is one of those people that lights up the room when he enters, with his uninhibitedly energetic spirit, these people seem to drain all the light from the room, with their cold eyes and composed and calculated demeanour.
Remus immediately knows Sirius isn’t with them, as it is impossible not to notice when Sirius enters a room. It slightly stings, as he obviously didn’t have any family obligations today, and yet hasn’t reached out to them. Remus knows for a fact that James always carries his mirror with him.
A smaller boy, that looks like a younger, slighter version of Sirius, but cannot quite match his handsome looks, does trail behind Mrs. and Mr. Black. As Walburga and Orion Black start a conversation with another couple that they’ve apparently deemed worthy of their time, the boy saunters over to the other side of the store.
“Come on!” James says, as the grabs Remus’s arm to drag him towards Regulus, Peter following close behind.
“Black!” James says, as they stand behind Regulus.
Regulus turns around. His face is stoic, his expression indifferent and clear of any emotions. It’s what Remus likes to call the ‘pureblood mask’. He’s seen Sirius slip it on a few times, when approaching his parents at the platform or when addressed by some stuck-up Slytherin in the corridors. Never around his friends.
“Potter,” Regulus replies with an even voice, raising a cocky eyebrow at James. “Can I help you?”
James crosses his arms over his chest. “How’s Sirius doing?”
Confusion appears on Regulus’s face for a fraction of a second and he quickly glances at his parents, who are still talking to someone at the other side of the store, their backs turned to the boys. Regulus narrows his eyes at James. “Why are you asking me?”
“I haven’t heard from him in weeks,” James replies. “I want to know what your family has been doing all summer, for your brother to not even reach out to his friends!”
The mask crumbles, and Regulus’s face takes on an expression filled with... sorrow? Sadness? Only for a minute, then it’s hidden underneath anger, as he glares at James. The whole thing gives Remus an uneasy feeling in his chest. Something’s not right. Something’s very much not right.
Regulus sounds bitter when he speaks again. “You really have no fucking clue what’s going on, do you?”
The uneasy feeling turns into dread, verging on panic, which Remus tries to suppress, but a voice in his head keeps repeating ‘Siriusisnotokay Siriusisnotokay Siriusisnotokay’.
James runs a hand through his hair, suddenly looking a bit unsure of himself. “Look, if there’s something we need to know-”
“Then I shouldn’t be the one to tell you!” Regulus snarls at him.
“Regulus, please!” Both James and Regulus turn their heads at Remus, surprised by the pleading, desperate tone in his voice. At his point, Remus doesn’t care how pathetic he might sound. “Please, just tell us what’s going on.”
A hint of fear appears in James’s eyes, as he too starts to wrap his mind around the possibility that something bad might actually have happened to Sirius.
Regulus’s expression softens a bit upon hearing the worry and concern in Remus’s voice. He nervously glances at his parents again, and then back at Remus. “I can’t... I really can’t talk.”
Remus closes his eyes for a moment to push away his anger and frustration. “Okay,” he says, looking at Regulus again. “Then can you at least tell us if Sirius is okay?”
Regulus stays silent for a while, just staring at Remus. Then, almost unnoticeably, he shakes his head.
Remus feels the ground sink under his feet. He fights the urge to just grab Regulus by his shoulders and shake him until he just bloody tells them what’s happened. From the way James is clenching his fists, Remus can tell he feels the same way, but if they lose their patience with Regulus now, they’ll waste any chance of getting the boy to talk.
While Remus tries to clear his mind long enough to figure out what to say next, Regulus suddenly grabs a nearby book and tears a piece from one of the pages. Just rips a page in a brand-new book, and Remus finds himself not even caring. Regulus grabs a quill from the pocket of his robes, and scribbles something on the piece of parchment. Then, in one swift motion, he presses the parchment in Remus’s hand and turns around and walks away. Just in time, as Walburga Black turns around and scans the store looking for her youngest son. Her eyes meet Remus’s for a second, and the hard coldness combined with just a tinge of madness in her gaze sends a shiver down Remus’s spine.
“I was not expecting that,” James murmurs, still looking at Regulus who’s walking over to his parents. “I don’t like this one single bit. What in Merlin’s name is going on with that family?”
Remus, however, hardly registers that James is even talking, as all the colour drains from his face and his eyes focus on the piece of parchment in his hand.
St Mungo’s, room 239
It can’t have taken them more than five minutes to find the closest fireplace and Floo themselves over to St Mungo’s, but each minute with the panic rising in his chest feels like a lifetime. Currently, Remus and Peter are practically running after James to keep up with his rushed, long strides as they navigate the halls of the large hospital.
They end up in a secluded area where a witch is busy sorting potions. She looks up as she hears them approach. She’s probably approaching her sixties, and has chestnut hair slightly turning grey at the roots, a round face and friendly eyes. Judging from her robes, she works as a Healer’s assistant.
“Can I help you?” She asks, as she steps in front of them.
“We’re looking for Sirius Black,” James immediately replies.
Remus hopes with everything he has that the lady will react confused, and say she doesn’t know who they’re talking about and scold at them for trespassing in a hospital, and that Regulus is having a proper laugh in his bedroom right now about the prank he pulled on them. It will be a cruel, not funny prank, but Remus might laugh anyway out of sheer relief.
However, the lady doesn’t seem confused at the mention of Sirius’s name at all. She just gives them a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry, but if you’re not direct family-”
“He’s practically my brother!” James interjects. He points at Remus. “And he’s his boyfriend!”
That was not how Remus had imagined being introduced as Sirius Black’s boyfriend for the first time at all.
“I meant biologically, love,” the lady replies calmly. “I’m afraid I’m under strict orders that no one other than direct, biological family is allowed to see him.”
Remus is trembling now. He’s actually here. Sirius has actually been in the hospital for Merlin knows how long, and they didn’t even know. He feels Peter place a hand on his shoulder to steady him.
“I really am sorry,” the lady says. “If it were up to me... But my hands are tied.”
“Can you at least tell us... what happened?” Remus says with a shaky voice and pleading eyes. “Why he’s here?”
The lady visibly hesitates. “He... has a flu, and the fever got pretty bad, so it was better to admit him to the hospital. We’re limiting visitors because... his immune system might still be compromised.”
Flu? No Muggle flu then, as any Healer can cure that with a simple potion. For a wizard to end up in the hospital for a flu, it had to be pretty bad.
“Is he gonna be okay?” Remus asks.
The lady smiles at him. “We’re doing everything we can to help him. I can assure you he’s in good hands.”
Remus doesn’t miss the way she’s not answering his question.
Remus and Peter decide to stay over at the Potter mansion, as they feel like they should be together.
Euphemia Potter was in a state when she heard her beloved Sirius had been in the hospital all this time, without them even knowing. She immediately got to baking cookies to make him a care package, with, besides freshly baked cookies, a bag of cough drops, a thermos flask filled with warm butterbeer, freshly picked flowers from the Potter’s garden, and some books from James. James didn’t complain and even added some of his favourite magazines as well.
Remus can’t shake the feeling that something’s off. He keeps thinking of the fear and anger on Regulus’s face, and the hesitation of the lady in the hospital. It just doesn’t add up.
“Flu, my arse,” James mutters, as they all sit in his room that evening. They consider the idea of sneaking in under the Invisibility Cloak, but they don’t want to risk jeopardizing Sirius’s health.
None of them gets much sleep that night.
The next day, Remus, James and Peter walk through the hallways of St Mungo’s again, James carrying his mother’s care package. They suppose they can give it to lady to put in Sirius’s room, and try one more time to get some more information on their friend’s well-being.
As they approach the same secluded area as yesterday, they hear raised voices come through an open door, probably the Healer’s office. The boys exchange a look and walk closer to the door, as silent as they can. They’re The Marauders, sneaking around is like a second nature to them.
The first voice they recognize as that of the lady from yesterday, but she sounds a lot less friendly, and a lot more angry.
“... collect your blood money.”
The voice that replies is a heavy, male voice, the Healer perhaps.
“Don’t call it that!”
“But that’s what it is, isn’t it?” The lady bites back.
“We need that money,” the man speaks again. “We can invest in research, new potions, better treatments. Don’t you dare make my feel guilty about it. That money is saving lives.”
“Who are we to decide those lives are worth more than his?”
“It’s not like I’m letting him die! I treat him to the best of my abilities; I heal him every time.”
“Exactly! Every time, and that’s the problem. It’s how it always goes: they drop him off here half dead, we patch him up and send him back, only for it to happen all over again!”
“What else can we do?”
“You know as well as I do that if it were any other child, any other child from any other family, that we would have long since informed the authorities by now, and child protection services, to get him out of that situation. But you just let those people buy your silence.”
“We cannot be sure-”
“Oh, please! Cannot be sure? Tell me then, what is it exactly that’s still making you doubt? The time he had his back torn open by excessive use of the Lashing Curse? The time he dislocated his shoulder and broke several ribs by being repeatedly smashed into a wall? Or was it the time he had actual hand-shaped bruises on his neck? Or maybe it’s the lingering pain throughout his body he talked about, that you know as well as I do can only be an after-effect of the Cruciatus Curse! They’re not even trying to hide it! So convinced are they that we won’t do anything about it as long as they throw some money our way, and you know what? They’re right!”
“It’s not just the money. The Black family is one of the most influential families there is. The Ministry will not act against them, no matter what we say. We’ll just end up losing our careers. This way at least we get some money out of it, we can at least help other people.”
“I just hate this pureblood supremacy sentiment that’s spreading across the country. It’s like the rise of You Know Who and his ideals have convinced them even more that they, as part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight, have the right to do whatever they like to whomever they want, even if it’s their own son. Well, especially if it’s their own son. It’s getting worse, you see it too. The more untouchable they feel, the more careless and cruel they become.”
“The growing support for the Death Eaters and other pureblood supremacy sympathisers makes it even more of a bad idea to openly attack the Black family.”
“If it goes on like this, that boy is going to end up dead, and that will be on us.”
“Our backs are against the wall. Apart from taking care of him when his parents have, once again, taken their abuse too far, there’s nothing we can do for Sirius Black.”
Remus’s head is spinning with a thousand thoughts at the same time, but not one coherent. He feels like he’s gonna throw up.
A crash shakes him from the haze his mind has become. James has unceremoniously dropped the care package on the floor, and with an unreadable expression on his face, he crosses the rest of the hallway and pushes open the door to the infirmary where Sirius must be. When Remus remembers how to get his body to move, he stalks after him.
He doesn’t think about anything else than that he needs to be with Sirius, but as soon as he enters the room and takes in the scene in front of him, it feels like all the air is being knocked out of him.
James is standing in front of a bed, tension visible in his whole body, hands clenched into fists, teeth gritted and his face seething with anger.
In the bed is Sirius. His eyes are closed. He looks pale and so much thinner than the last time they saw him. He’s breathing heavily and irregularly, like it’s an effort in itself. One side of his face is badly bruised, and there’s a cut on his cheek. The same deep, nasty cuts are spread across his arms and chest, and there’s bandage wrapped around his abdomen. Some sort of ointment is applied to the wounds, and a potion is intravenously administered, which Healers only do when they’re afraid the body might be too weak to properly take up the potion after drinking.
Remus’s eyes are fully focussed on Sirius’s face, and he doesn’t even react when the lady who was just arguing with the man enters the room, carrying what remains of the care package.
“Oh, it’s you boys.” There’s uncertainty and a hint of guilt in her voice.
James turns to face her and takes a few steps in her direction. “This does not look like a bloody flu to me,” he hisses, absolutely furious.