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Kuon’s daily schedule was one that was hard to follow, but Raichi still found himself trying to understand it anyways.
First, he got up at five.
Raichi wasn't sure what he did at five, but every single morning at five on the dot Kuon got up, looked around the room like he didn't know where the hell he was, and then headed to the bathroom. It was annoying at first; Raichi was an incredibly light sleeper so being woken every morning to the sound of Kuon looking for his toothbrush took a lot of getting used to but eventually, Raichi just found it impressive how Kuon has trained his body to wake up that early. But it wasn't compelling enough for Raichi to also stay up and see what Kuon was doing since it was just Kuon.
Boring and simple Kuon.
But then, in the short span of 90 minutes, Kuon went from “boring” and “simple” to “backstabbing” and "perfidious” so now Raichi really cares about what Kuon is doing at five in the morning because it affects him personally.
Raichi waited for Kuon to leave the room before following close behind.
-
Aside from all the well-known facts about Kuon (he was 185 centimeters, his hair was dark brown not because God willed it but because of a bad dye job, and finally that he was the absolute worst ) another super cool thing about him was how fast he moved despite not knowing that he was being pursued. Raichi assumed that he would be heading to the bathrooms to brush his teeth, but he thought that he would at least be able to catch Kuon in the hallway so he could confirm Raichi’s suspicions.
Still, when Raichi got to the bathrooms Kuon was there, absentmindedly staring at himself in the mirror, illuminated by the fluorescent lights. Raichi stayed in the shadows of the hallway, watching Kuon complete his mundane morning routine.
What am I even doing this for?
Raichi had no intention of actually talking to Kuon, nor did he think that Kuon even wanted to talk to him, but he couldn't bring himself to walk back to their dorm and go back to bed. He told himself that he was only shadowing Kuon so he could make sure that he wasn't talking to any other teams but judging from the fact that Kuon and he were probably the only ones awake, that was also an unlikely possibility.
Raichi yawned into his arm. He was so not used to being up at this time.
He rubbed his eyes, looking back into the bathroom to find it empty.
Shit. I lost him.
Raichi went into the bathroom and splashed some cold water on his face before heading out to find Kuon.
Again.
-
The training room.
Raichi checked the monitoring room, the training rooms on the left, right, and in front of their dorm but it was his luck that the very last room he checked was the one that Kuon happened to be in.
Whatever. Raichi didn't have the time to dwell on it. He peered inside, looking around until he found Kuon sitting in the corner doing some yoga pose that Raichi didn't bother remembering the name of. He knew from Chigiri that it ended in “sana”, but so did every other fucking yoga pose and the truth was that Raichi did not come to critique Kuon’s form.
Raichi was still not sure why he even followed Kuon in the first place.
But he was here now, watching Kuon go into a quasi-headstand, all the words that he prepared for this moment slowly dissipated into nothing. He was mad, confused, hurt, and so many other verbs and adjectives that he had not cataloged yet.
And yet, despite the whirlwind of emotions swirling through him, his mind was painfully blank as he stared at Kuon, unwavered at Raichi’s sudden presence.
"Do you have a crush on me or something,' Kuon asked, mid-handstand.
Raichi took a step back, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. There was a good 20 feet of space between them but Raichi felt as if Kuon was right next to him, whispering in his ear. The idea sent shivers down his spine, and Raichi hoped that in Kuon’s absence of proximity he couldn't sense how nervous Raichi was.”
'Excuse me?'
"Do you think about me...romantically," Kuon continued, looking at Raichi. Raichi looked around the room, searching for somewhere to avert his gaze so he did not have to make eye contact. It wasn't that he actually had a crush on Kuon, his egotistical personality and two-faced nature made it hard for Raichi to have any positive emotions about him, but when Kuon looked at him—like actually opened both eyes and looked at him—Raichi just couldn't find it in himself to look back.
Did he have a crush on Kuon?
He didn't think so, but he hasn't been thinking of anything but soccer and his next meal as of late. Kuon was his friend. A really good friend who calmed him down when he got mad, who looked out for him even when he didn't have to, and laughed at his jokes even when they weren't funny.
In a sea full of Barou’s and Wanima’s, Raichi was convinced that Kuon was one of the few nice guys that they let into the establishment.
But again Raichi was wrong and Kuon sucks and even if maybe there was a time where Raichi could harbor some sort of romantic feelings for him, he was sure as hell that they were far gone now.
"No, I don't think about you that way," Raichi scoffed, "Only you could vain enough to think that."
Kuon swung his legs down, quickly standing back up and turning around to look at Raichi.
"I just wanted to clarify. You do follow me everywhere I go, so I apologize if that gave me the wrong idea."
Yikes.
Raichi didn't realize Kuon was aware of his presence, but now that he was found out there was no point in trying to deny it. Yeah, he was following Kuon around. He needed to understand why someone who he liked, someone that he thought liked him too, would turn around and fuck him over so badly. Yeah, there was the whole argument of egoism and Raichi could understand that defense for anyone else, but Kuon? He just seemed different.
And even though Raichi didn't want to admit it, it hurt to know that Kuon was not.
“That’s because I don't trust you.”
"Appears like you're flirting to me," Kuon hummed, rolling up his yoga mat and walking over to the closet to put it away.
Raichi rolled his eyes, staying on his side of the room.
“Why are you even up,” Kuon asked, sitting cross-legged on the floor.
“You woke me.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” Raichi found himself saying, “At least don't apologize for that.”
“Do you want me to apologize for something else,” Kuon asked dumbly.
Raichi has heard a lot of stupid questions while he was in Blue Lock (Bachira asked him if people from Denmark spoke Denmarkian. Igaguri asked him if pink lemonade was made from pink lemons. Asahi….everything that came out of Asahi’s mouth was stupid, Raichi didn't need to keep track) but Kuon’s had to take the cake. Which was funny, because Kuon was also the smartest person that Raichi knew.
“Are you serious?”
Kuon looked at Raichi, lazily raising his eyebrows.
“Try me.”
Raichi didn't like the direction of the conversation. It was hard for him to believe that Kuon genuinely didn't care about any of them, but the expressionless look on his face said more than any word Kuon could conjure up.
He just didn't get it.
There was something Raichi was missing, some massive fucking piece of the puzzle because Kuon seemed fine but how could someone be fine after everything that they've been through.
“Just...what is wrong with you,” Raichi snapped, “Did mommy not give you enough attention or something? Is that it? Why do you get off on being an asshole? ”
“Who cares,” Kuon yawned, “go to bed Raichi. Leave me alone.”
Struck a nerve I guess.
“It’s morning,” Raichi said dumbly. The clock above Kuon read “5:34”, surprising Raichi since he really could have sworn that they have only been in the training room just... staring at each other for way longer.
“Then g’ morning Raichi,” Kuon said, giving him a small smile.
Raichi blinked a few times. He would be stupid if he didn't notice how nice Kuon sounded, how genuine it seemed, but it wasn't and he didn't. Maybe if he was having this conversation with old Kuon, things would be different. They would have had a better resolution.
But this wasn't the “old Kuon”. And maybe there was no “old Kuon”. Maybe Kuon’s entire plan was to go into Blue Lock with his stupid “trust no one” mentality and feign camaraderie just so he could stab everyone in the back and get ahead. And it was all stupid, and Kuon was stupid and blind and fucking idiotic because he had someone who cared about him; he had people who cared about him!
Raichi scoffed to himself, shaking his head.
It was whatever now; he didn't care anymore. Raichi was putting too much thought into it.
Fuck old Kuon, fuck new Kuon, and fuck all the Kuons in between.
“Listen,” Raichi began, not bothering to look at the boy behind him, “I don’t care about your ‘tragic past’. We thought of you as one of us.”
When he was younger, Raichi found it difficult to articulate his feelings. Everything just made him want to scream and yell but now, back turned to Kuon, the words came easily.
“Raichi—”
“—so just know that you had people in your corner and you fucked it up. Not us. You ruined it.”
“Okay.”
“And if you keep up this ‘lone wolf’ ‘one foot out the door’ bullshit you’re gonna find yourself real fucking sad and alone.”
Raichi waited for Kuon to try and interject with something, but he stayed silent.
“I really don't care what you do today, but just stay the fuck out of my way,” Raichi finished, walking out the training room.
-
Raichi believed that in the end, Kuon was an asshole. That was it. He tried to reason with him--it was like talking to a brick wall—and that didn't work so he let it go.
As Chigiri would say, It was "whatever”.
And Raichi was starting to feel okay with that. He went back to the dorm, went back to sleep, and woke up at eight with the rest of the team. Kuon wasn't there and Raichi didn't expect him to.
“The guy wouldn't know the meaning of teamwork if it hit him with a ten-foot pole,” Asahi said during breakfast, taking a piece of fruit off of Gagamaru’s plate.
“I guess,” Raichi agreed.
Raichi was perfectly comfortable leaving the conversation at that. Nobody on Team Z really liked to talk about Kuon, so they didn't. They finished their food, put on their jerseys, and hoped that somehow they could come out with a win against Team V.
And then they got their ass kicked.
Which Raichi sort of expected, since Kuon was, unfortunately, an “integral part of their team” or whatever, but he hoped that maybe—just maybe—some miracle could happen and somebody (Himself, Isagi, Gagamaru. He wouldn't even mind Igarashi at this point) could have a burst of unhuman energy and just... make a goal .
One goal. They had like 20 seconds tops and they needed one goal. And Isagi was trying, he was really giving it his best attempt, but Raichi knew that Isagi was no match against Nagi so he might as well prepare his farewell speech now.
And then, Kuon attacked.
Literally. He jumped towards Nagi, bringing him down to the pitch.
Raichi stared at him, dumbfounded, as the ref called a red card. Kuon looked back at him and shrugged, rolling off of Nagi and standing to his feet.
What the fuck.
Raichi thought Kuon’s schedule was hard to follow, but understanding his personality proved to be even harder.
-
“So then what happened?”
Kuon rinsed out another water bottle, handing it to Raichi. They were stuck on drink duty, which would have sucked if it was with anyone else but Raichi had been meaning to ask Kuon about what happened to him after the game. After Team Z won the game and they went back to the dorms, it was weird to see Kuon just...gone. He was afraid that maybe Ego had it with his bullshit and just kicked him out or something, but all of Kuon’s belongings were in the same corner he left it in—completely untouched.
Then he came back in the middle of Team Z’s practice, hands full of water, saying something about how they all “looked dehydrated”.
Raichi had never seen someone get hugged by so many people in his life.
“Anri yelled at me.”
“She yelled at you?”
“Yeah. She yelled. Loudly,” Kuon laughed, shaking his head, “She’s like the mom I never had.”
Raichi imagined the scene in his head; Anri screaming her head off and Kuon giving her the same boring look he gives everyone else.
“Well thank you,” Raichi said, “And I’m sorry about—you know—prodding into your personal life. I was a bit of an ass this morning.”
“No, you were good,” Kuon assured him, “You were right anyways. I shouldn't have taken out my personal issues on you guys.”
Raichi nodded. They were pretty much done refilling the water, all that was left to do is screwing on the caps. It was nice, sitting with Kuon and not wanting to rip his head off. It was something that Raichi missed.
“But we’re cool right,” Kuon murmured, checking to make sure that all the water bottles were secure.
“Of course we’re cool. We’re a team.”
"No, no. I know the rest of the team forgives me," Kuon said, eyeing another bottle, "But do you forgive me?"
"Why do you care so much about what I think," Raichi teased, "You got a crush on me?"
"Yup," Kuon smiled, "The biggest crush. I draw hearts around our initials in my notebook."
"You're full of shit."
"And you're avoiding my question," Kuon laughed, flicking water at Raichi, “You still mad at me? Cause Mikage is looking really assultable today and—”
Raichi wiped the water off his face and put his hand over Kuon’s mouth, trying his hardest to refrain from laughing too loudly and making a scene.
“Kuon. shut up. We're fine.”
Raichi took his hand off Kuon’s face, wiping it on Kuon’s sleeve.
"Happy to hear it," Kuon sing-songed, grabbing all the water bottles back to the dorm.
Raichi didn't understand much about Kuon, but he was happy that he had the time to get to know him a bit better.