Work Text:
Why?
Why am I here?
Why are we here?
Why me?
This gala was like nothing Maren had ever been to in her life.
Ok, that was a damn lie.
Nothing Maren had ever been to in her life could compare to this gala.
Hell, not even her high school prom could compare…mostly because that place had been a dump.
But this?
It was in one of Arendelle’s most historic and pristine structures. Crystal clear marble floors. Pillars reaching up to the dome-shaped ceiling that almost resembled a pure white moon rock. Large, open glass windows encompassing the entire ballroom. A glass chandelier that hung perfectly in the center of the entrance. The grand piano that sat beside the small stage in the main room appeared rose gold.
Not even regular gold.
Rose gold because why the hell not.
Though, to Maren’s credit, she never recalled seeing any actual gold pianos, either.
It was black tie only, of course, so everyone was in their best tuxedos or gowns. Maren had never seen so many snobs in her life.
Correction – rich people.
It was a world Maren never once she thought she would witness from a far, let alone have a remote chance to experience one night for herself.
She hadn’t come from much. Her parents passed when she was younger, throwing her and her brother into the foster care system. They bounced between numbers of houses for quite some time, even going so far as being separated for a few months, until a distant family member took them in.
Maren was grateful for all that she did have. As horrible as the system had been to her and her brother, even she couldn’t ignore the gratitude of having food on her plate and a roof over her head every night. She still had her education, though she had to fight for that. It became even more of a struggle when she had to throw working into the mix. Two jobs upon high school graduation, attempting online classes, not to mention knowing absolutely nothing she wanted back then….
Maren should have absolutely been grateful for every opportunity that came her way. It wasn’t that she wasn’t; however when she looked back on her own life and compared it to the people that now surrounded her….
She did not deserve to be a guest at the gala.
Hell, she didn’t even deserve to be mopping the floor at the end of the night.
Everyone around her was so successful. They had large houses. Multple cars. Vacation homes. Private jets. Exotic pets – the poor tiger, she thought when she heard someone brag about what they did to pull that one off. Servants. Nannies and fancy, private boarding schools for their kids if they had any. Their job titles. Their accomplishments.
Maren could not remotely compare.
Even in her pants suit Maren felt like an outcast.
And it wasn’t just because it was the nicest thing she owned.
Or because she hated dresses.
Sure, the beige tone complimented her darker skin tone nicely. Yes, she had disregarded her signature messy braid or bun and replaced it with mostly loose hair save for a single braid looping around the back. Yes, the gem on her necklace added just the right hint of color for her liking.
Though Maren never saw herself much in red, but who was she to question the taste of her girlfriend?
She’d even gone so far as to wear chapstick and lipstick at the same time.
Maren pulled in her lips, now thinking about how the tastes of cherry and cookies and cream mixed together.
Her fingers tapped lightly against the wine glass in her hand, the drink itself remaining untouched.
There she was, in one of the town of Arendelle’s most extravagant events, and all she could do was stand off to the side. She couldn’t even pretend like she belonged.
Because she didn’t.
A down on her luck girl from the system who lived in a tiny studio apartment and barely made ends meet by gardening during the week and teaching arts and crafts on weekends.
Hell, even the decorations and floral arrangements were nothing Maren could have remotely come up with for herself. How could she deserve to be in the building when she couldn’t even deserve to look at the flowers?
Around her she heard people conversing. Some were discussing their jobs. One, from what she overheard, was about a business meeting where the gentleman actually grabbed about throwing his competition out the door and then buying out his shares of his own company. Another seemed to be in the middle of settling an actual business negotiation. She felt only the slightest at ease when she overheard a few women talking about the gala itself.
Not that it soothed Maren much, but it was much better than hearing about all those fancy businesspeople.
And the gala was absolutely worth discussing. It was for a wonderful cause.
Every year in Arendelle some of the most successful and well-known entrepreneurs in town would get together. It was a huge event involving fancy food and music, a number of fancy and unnecessary items, and, of course, a shitload of money. The saving grace was that the money would all be donated to charities of the peoples’ choosing.
Whether or not the charities were worth it were another story entirely.
Some organizations did not deserve to be called charities.
Not to mention the ones that did nothing for research purposes and the higher up’s went so far as to keep any money made for themselves.
It was the thought that counted, she supposed. But it also went to show how blind these people were to the real issues. They had no idea how fricking privileged they were to not even have to think about where their money was really going. And they were even more blinded by the fact that auctioning off a yacht sounded like a good idea.
Maybe it was just a rich person thing. A thing that Maren was doomed never to understand.
Why was she here, again?
A familiar touch lightly graced her toned arm. Maren held in a breath, though not one of shock. It was one of relief.
The only person who could remotely make her feel comfortable in something so foreign.
“Hey.”
Maren turned her head towards her girlfriend. She was met with a warm smile and Maren graciously returned it.
“Hey.”
Elsa’s voice had the warmest, natural flow to it. It was a way Maren could not describe it. She wanted so much to say it was like butter, something that could just melt on her mouth. But even that didn’t sound like it did the woman justice. Especially when she came across as nothing like the rest of the people surrounding them.
Oh, sure, Elsa looked the part. She always did. Elsa always had prim and proper if not completely business attire at her disposal. She gravitated towards darker shades, mostly, a beautiful contrast to her platinum blonde hair and pale skin. Blazers, business suits, dresses, heels – as if the woman needed them, she was already an Amazonian goddess. Tonight Elsa opted for a tight fitting – though, to be fair, Maren would only say that because she was actually looking – navy blue dress. It was sleeveless with the collar covering the majority of her neck. There was a slit near one of her legs, though it couldn’t have gone higher than her knee and the length of the dress fell just short of her ankles. Her hair was tied up in a perfect bun, allowing no loose strands to hide the snowflake earrings that dangled from her earlobes. And, unlike Maren who had forgone makeup entirely, Elsa only used a dash to add some color to her facial features. The faintest hint of blush made the light freckles across her cheeks more prominent and the blue violet eyeshadow almost made her ice blue eyes sparkle like stars beneath them.
At first glance Elsa looked just like every one of the other guests that evening. And, by all accounts, she likely was.
Hell, she was always at the head of the damn event. Elsa was one of the best event planners in Arendelle. To anyone else, that may not have seemed like a huge deal. But in a town full of multiple celebrations, Elsa had made quite a name for herself as the one to turn to. She even had her own company and made a donation in its name every year.
She would say it was nothing huge, that she didn’t have anything special, or that she was only happy to make a contribution somehow. But then, that was exactly who Elsa was. Unlike everyone else in that room, Elsa never made a big to-do about herself. She didn’t act like she was doing anything special nor did she have a fake understanding of the world around her.
Of course certain things were still a work in progress.
Elsa knew nothing of the foster care system until Maren had opened up more about her history.
But there was still a crystal clear difference.
Elsa was willing to try.
She was willing to listen.
It was almost unheard of; how someone like her could be so receptive to someone less than like Maren. Elsa was successful. She was admired. She was a businesswoman. She drove a fricking Tesla. She traveled. She could live in a mansion if she wanted to.
Hell, for all Maren knew, Elsa had lived in a mansion.
Elsa could have anything and everything handed to her on a silver platter.
Hell, she could ask for a snowflake-patterned rose gold platter and she’d get it.
Yet she never did.
And what was even more surprising….
Elsa was surrounded by so much greatness and success. Not even at the gala; every single day. When she went to her meetings. When she went abroad. When she did interviews. When she was part of conferences or whatever other fancy shit rich people did in their spare time. She had people around her every day that were worth just as much as she was. Who could give her more than she already had. Who could afford to treat her like the queen she not only presented herself as, but by all accounts might as well have been.
Why was she wasting her time with Maren of all people?
“Are you ok?” Elsa finally asked. Her face fell with an apology. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ditch you before.”
“What? No, you didn’t,” Maren blinked. “I get it, duty calls. You have to mingle.”
“Believe me, I’d rather not,” Elsa admitted.
She paused.
“Hey…may I show you something?”
“Uh…. Sure?” the brunette answered, though it sounded more like a question.
Elsa gently slid her hand down Maren’s arm and rested it in her hand. Their fingers intertwined as Maren followed her girlfriend out of the ballroom. They journeyed up a glistening staircase and down the hall. Elsa led them to a pair of grand rosemaling patterned doors, revealing a balcony on the other side. Unlike the rest of the building, it wasn’t huge. Nor was it much of a sight to behold. In fact, almost no one probably left a fancy party just to look at the buildings and townhouses lit up across Arendelle. If anything, the doors were probably a decorative feature. Personally, Maren much preferred it to where they were standing minutes ago.
The gentle evening breeze was a welcome change as well.
“Privacy much?” the brunette couldn’t help but tease lightly.
Elsa shook her head and closed the doors behind them. She approached the railing, gently setting her glass on top. “I like to come out here when I’m at one of these events. I can actually hear myself think.”
“Yet you invite me to interrupt those thoughts,” Maren scoffed lightly. She placed her glass on the floor and leaned up against the railing, looking at the dark sky.
“I wouldn’t want anyone else to,” she spoke as her hand fluttered above Maren’s. “Thank you for joining me tonight.”
“Well when you brought that chocolate cheesecake how could I have said no?” Maren teased.
“Very easily. I would have understood,” Elsa promised. “Believe me, I do not always want to be here, either.”
“I think you’d start an angry mob if you missed out on this,” she replied. “I see the way people light up when you walk in the room, Elsa. Everyone can’t wait to see you.”
“But there is only one person I want to see,” she commented. Elsa delicately placed a kiss on Maren’s cheek.
It was the simplest of motions yet one Maren could never turn away from. Shifting her body, she turned to face Elsa completely. She placed her free hand under Elsa’s chin and leaned in for another chaste kiss. Though they did break apart, both ultimately decided to continue. A few more gentle kisses were placed on the others’ lips as the moments ticked by. Elsa’s hands inched up, cupping Maren’s cheeks, while Maren’s other hand relocated to Elsa’s arm.
It was instances like that that made their relationship all the more mind blowing to Maren.
Elsa could have had these moments with anyone else.
Anyone else could have pleased her the way Maren did.
Hell, for all she knew there was someone out there better suited for Elsa.
Was that why, at times, their kisses seemed so fleeting?
Was that why everything about them was so light?
Was that why they kept everything so simple?
But Maren could never confess any of that.
As much as she enjoyed the moments with Elsa; as much as she cherished them; as much as she felt seen and accepted by Elsa; they were still so different.
Maren had come to accept that, whatever their relationship was, she was just going to enjoy it for however long Elsa deemed worthy.
Even when they pulled apart and Elsa smiled the way she did, Maren couldn’t help but feel herself melt.
What she wouldn’t give to make that feeling last forever.
“This is what I wanted to show you,” Elsa spoke. She took Maren’s hands and adjusted her body. She turned the woman so she was facing the other direction. They were now leaning against the railing to the left of the doors, and Elsa only had to tilt her head a couple of times before she could point it out. “See that lamppost there? Next to the large tree?”
“That one?” Maren asked, raising her hand to point.
Elsa giggled and shook her head. Reaching up, she took Maren’s arm in her hand and moved it more towards their left. “No…. That one. The largest one.”
Maren’s brows furrowed. “Isn’t that from the park?”
“Where we met,” Elsa finished.
Maren could recall that day perfectly. She had been asked by her boss to plant some flowers in the park. Maren couldn’t even recall the reason why; she just knew she’d been working on it all day. She had been around the park, pulling a few weeds and planting beneath a number of different trees. It had been a hot day, she recalled. Maren must have only stopped a small number of times. That was, until Elsa showed up and she’d forgone her assignment completely.
Or rather, Olaf was the one who originally distracted Maren.
The blonde had been walking him, a chubby little white Yorkie. She apologized for him bothering Maren, but the brunette had paid no mind. Elsa complimented Maren on the flowers and asked her about them. At first Maren had only give basic answers, but Olaf made sure to keep Maren's focus on him. The little guy would not leave her alone. Not that Maren minded; she loved dogs. So she began asking about him and Elsa was more than happy to oblige. That first meeting neither of them talked about their jobs or where they lived or anything that would indicate vastly different lifestyles.
They talked about Olaf.
They talked about other dogs.
They talked about the summer.
They talked about chocolate.
They talked about coffee…and had a friendly debate on whether hot coffee or iced coffee was better.
They spent hours sitting on a bench; specifically the one underneath the lamppost Elsa pointed out.
And they wanted to keep seeing each other.
Elsa walked in on the end of Maren’s arts and crafts class that next weekend. She didn’t say or do anything to remotely attract Maren’s attention; she merely stood in the doorway watching and patiently waiting. She complimented Maren on how wonderful she was with the children and asked what inspired the day’s project. It had been another hot day and many of the children had complained that Christmas couldn’t be in July.
Of course, a few also complained Halloween couldn’t be in July.
So everyone had been working on collages of snowmen.
Maren walked Elsa through the steps, trying to convince the woman that not every piece of paper she cut had to be perfectly even or the same size. At that point, Elsa didn’t comment on anything other than that she worked as en event planner; everything had to be perfect. Maren would have never guessed that someone like Elsa would willingly sit down in a classroom in the middle of a craft store and just rip up paper when she could have been doing something so much more exciting.
But then again, that was Elsa. Everything with her was so simple. She never needed a lot of attention or to go anywhere special or to act as though something was a huge deal.
Maren would have never guessed that Elsa was even Elsa.
Her fault for living under a rock, she supposed.
God, how stupid Maren felt the first time she realized!
Maybe there were signs she should have seen that had just been completely oblivious to. Maybe it was the jewelry Elsa wore. Maybe it was the way she carried herself. Maybe it was the nights her schedule would suddenly become so packed or she’d say she suddenly had to take a trip for a few days.
The way Elsa was naturally…the way she listened…the way she tried…it was what made her so different from everyone else yet she came across as if she was no different. It was almost as if she didn't give anything a second thought. For someone so high up compared to everyone else, Elsa had been one of the most down to earth people Maren ever met.
It was a confusing as hell paradox of sorts to Maren.
And even more confusing as to why Elsa stayed.
The first weekend trip she took after Maren found out, Maren was surprised at how quickly Elsa called her. She asked if Elsa had some big meeting to go to; that was why she was there in the first place, wasn’t it? But Elsa’s exact words had been, “it was nothing special. I want to hear about your day.”
And she listened.
Even though Maren said her day had been boring and she was somehow roped into removing a beehive from someone’s tree, Elsa was completely invested. Even when Maren prompted her, not once did Elsa speak of her job or her status.
Even as they started becoming more serious, agreeing to refer to each other as girlfriends, Elsa almost never had Maren over at her condo. It wasn’t that it was too fancy – Elsa could have very well afforded so much more! But for some reason she always seemed to enjoy being in Maren’s tiny studio apartment. Despite the fact that it was cramped and messy and it was all Maren had, Elsa still loved it there.
But still.
Why?
“Maren?”
Elsa’s soft voice broke Maren out of her daydreams. From the corner or her eye she looked to her girlfriend, who was leaning against her and tilting her head curiously. She pursed her lips as if to ask if everything was all right without prodding.
The brunette shook her head. “Just thinking about that day.”
It was mostly true.
“And…?” Elsa inquired.
“And what?” Maren replied.
“It sounded as if there was more,” she noticed.
Maren pulled her lips to the side. “I guess….”
What were even the right words?
“I don’t know,” she sighed shaking her head. “What about everything downstairs? You should be there and instead you wanna stand up here and stare at a lamppost in the distance with me. You put a lot into this night, Elsa, and you do a hell of a lot. Don’t you wanna bask in any of the glory or see any of it? Instead you’re just…. Here with me.”
Elsa took a single step back. “You make it sound like a bad thing.”
“I just don’t want you to feel like you have to ignore everything down there for my benefit,” she admitted.
“That’s not it at all,” she promised. She gently turned Maren’s head to face her completely. “I would much rather spend my time up here with you than down there with anyone else.” She furrowed her brows curiously. “Do you not believe me?”
“It’s not that,” Maren shook her head.
“It’s that you didn’t want to come tonight?” she guessed.
Maren paused.
She felt guilty she wanted to say yes so quickly.
And somehow Elsa could see right through her.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
There was no judgment in her voice, far from it. If anything, there was only concern.
“This is your place, Elsa. These events, these people…. I want to be part of it. But I’m not. I don’t belong here. And I don’t want you to feel like you’re giving anything up for me,” she explained.
There was so much more Maren wanted to say. In fact, she had every intention of saying more. Yet she held back. She didn’t want to burden Elsa with all of her fears. She didn’t want Elsa to think she doubted her in any way. She wanted to believe that Elsa’s feelings were genuine; that of course she wanted to involve Maren in her life. Yet at the same time…. When Maren thought back on everything and she put the pieces together in her head, it didn’t set right. It was almost as if it was a lie somehow. That in some way, Maren was the lie. She was being invited to be with someone, to potentially live a lifestyle, she had no knowledge of. A lifestyle she wanted nothing to do with.
“I’d have come up here with or without you here,” Elsa confessed after a moment.
Maren stared at her with a puzzled look. “What are you talking about? Didn’t you…?”
Elsa rolled her eyes. “Set everything up, plan everything, gather everyone together, check and double check the settings and the numbers, gather all the data, make sure the night was all set and would flow properly?”
Pause.
“Ok now you’re just being a showoff,” Maren commented half teasingly.
Elsa shook her head. “I enjoy my job, Maren. I like what I do. I like being a part of something. And I like being able to change something. That’s the reason I became so involved in the first place. It doesn’t mean I like the people I work with. Or what they do. If given the choice, I would gladly be anywhere else tonight but here.”
“You do a pretty damn good job of covering it up,” Maren noticed.
“I have to,” she shrugged. “I was born into this life, Maren. There is a reason my father taught me to conceal. I have a job to focus on and I can’t let anyone know if I’m uncertain about something. One wrong move, and any good I try to do won’t make a difference. Everyone will focus on that one wrong thing.”
Elsa stepped away, though only to take a sip of her wine before turning back to Maren. “Do you remember that first date? When I met you after your class?”
Maren raised an eyebrow. “That was our first date?”
Elsa blinked. “O…oh. I just…. I treated you to coffee after…. I, I just assumed….”
“I guess I just thought our first official date was at the rink. You know, when I slipped so hard I literally slammed into a tree and had to lay on your lap while you watched everyone else skate,” Maren confessed with a crooked smile.
The faintest blush crossed Elsa’s cheeks. “That was when you joked you never fell harder for someone,” she remembered.
Maren shrugged sheepishly. “I guess because that’s when I realized I liked you.”
“And I realized it before then,” she admitted. “Heh. No wonder we have different ideas.”
“I was just trying to impress you that time. I didn’t think before then…” Maren started.
“You impressed me from the moment I met you,” Elsa told her. “Just with the way you were with Olaf. And then when we met up after your class it never felt like it was about trying to impress me or about showing off. You were completely yourself, Maren. Just by sharing something with me you enjoyed doing. You even said it yourself; ‘it isn’t much, but it’s mine’. The way you said that…you were so relaxed and accepting of it. It was like you had absolutely nothing to hide. People down there, most of them are doing this for show. They want to seem as though they’re a bigger deal than they are. They want more stuff. They want to show other people up.” She set her glass down. “You took the time to get to know me. You asked me what I liked. What I wanted to do. You always gave me a say. It didn’t matter where we were or what we were doing. Down there, for as much praise as there may be, a lot is still very much drowned out. But up here? Out there? Anywhere with you? I have a voice.”
It was…strange, almost. Elsa spoke so simply yet passionately. Almost as if it made sense to her somehow. Like there were no other options. Like she never would have remotely considered anyone or anything else. Like it was supposed to be so obvious to Maren as well.
“Why do you say that so simply?” she couldn’t help but ask.
“Because it is,” she shrugged. “I don’t want or need all of these showy, flashy, fancy things. I don’t need to be part of anything. It just…it happens to be what I do.” Elsa tilted her head slightly. “Do you know why I want to be at your apartment?”
“Because it’s right across the street from the donut shop?” Maren joked.
A giggle escaped the blonde. “Besides that.”
“Ok, what?” Maren shook her head.
“Because in there it’s just us. Nothing else about our lives or the world matters. I’d rather be in a tiny apartment with you than in a giant, empty penthouse,” she answered.
The sentiment was appreciated. Maren could feel the heat rise within her at the comment. Perhaps it shouldn’t have hit her that way, but it did. Elsa had so much. Hell, she had everything. And sometimes, especially in that particular moment, it almost sounded as if she’d willingly give it up in a heartbeat for Maren.
“You could do that with anyone, Elsa,” Maren confessed softly. “And you could have a hell of a lot more with anyone else in the world.” She shook her head slightly, trying to understand her girlfriend. It wasn’t as if Elsa was serious about any of this…. Was she? She was just saying it to make Maren feel better. She was trying to make her comfortable. Or forget about where they were. Maren attempted to search every possible explanation as to why Elsa would tell her that. Maren didn’t belong there. She kept reminding herself that. Or…. Did Elsa need a reminder now as well?
Maren turned her head away a little, hesitant to make eye contact with her girlfriend. She tugged her lips to the side and tapped her fingers against the railing, contemplating if she should actually ask the question that’s been on her mind since they got together.
“…Why me?”
There was a moment of silence.
Maren shouldn’t have asked her that, should she?
That was terrible.
Heels clicked.
Elsa stepped back to Maren.
There was another pause before the blonde took in a quiet breath.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
Maren blinked.
Did she hear that right…?
Her head swiftly turned back towards Elsa.
“What…?”
Elsa shrugged. “Why me?”
As if that were even a question.
“Because you’re you.”
Elsa pursed her lips.
“Do you really believe that all of this is me?”
Elsa gestured to everything around her, as if the gala, everyone and everything in it, and everything it stood for encompassed the person that she was.
“I don’t look at you and see someone who’s rich and stuck up, Elsa,” Maren promised. “You happen to be damn good at what you love to do.”
Though, to be fair, Maren could have worded it so much better than that.
The brunette shook her head.
“I look at you and…. I see someone who loves their dog. And chocolate…maybe a little too much,” she started. “I see someone who is successful and powerful and…and a shit ton of things I was told I’d never be or have anything to do with. I look at you and I see someone who doesn’t shove anything in peoples’ faces or acts like they’re better. I look at you and I see someone who cares. Not even just cares. Who cares about everything. You never care what we do or where we go. You just always care that we’re together. But I look at you and I see and know everything you do…. You’re incredible, Elsa. And I just…. I see someone who should be getting everything…. But I can’t give that to you. You make me feel like nothing else matters. And it’s just…. It feels too good to be true sometimes. Because I see you and…. And I see a dream.”
Elsa’s hands rose over her heart, taking in everything Maren had told her. She shook her head, almost in disbelief. Like the way Maren constantly tried to process every moment the two of them were together.
Was she…?
Was she remotely implying she felt the same as Maren?
That somehow, by some absurd twist of fate, Elsa had the same fears?
Finally, Elsa pulled in her lips, allowing the faintest giggle to escape her as she started.
“I see someone who probably thinks far too highly of hot coffee.”
To that, Maren let out a laugh of her own.
She got her there.
Then, shaking her head, Elsa reached out and took Maren’s hand. “But I also see someone who doesn’t care. And I don’t mean that negatively. I mean that you don’t care what anyone else thinks. You don’t care where we go or what we do. You just care that we have a good time. You care that I have a good time. I look at you and I see a fighter. Someone who’s stubborn, hard working, and are a terrible sore loser. I don’t see someone who’s been put down or been through what you have. I see someone who’s strong and successful because you’re doing what you enjoy. I look at you and I see you at peace when you’re in a garden. I see you in your class and nothing else matters except the smiles you put on those faces. I look at you and I see someone who would not think twice to look my way. But you did. And not once have you treated me different. Looked at me different. Thought me different. With you...everything feels genuine. In a way I rarely thought possible. I look at you and I see someone who sees me for me. Not what I do. You choose me for me.”
There was no question in Maren’s head.
Why me, she had surprisingly asked.
Despite what everything Maren said was true; there was a far simpler answer.
“I’d choose you every day if you’d let me.”
Elsa’s answer sounded just as easy.
“And I choose you because I love you.”
It was all the permission Maren needed to close the gap between them and kiss her again.
Unlike their previous exchanges, however, this was not fleeting.
It was still light, yet accompanied with a passion at the same time.
It was still simple, but only because there was nothing else that needed to be said.
They had both been holding the same fears all that time. Both acknowledging the different worlds they came from. Both afraid they would never fit in. Yet there they were every time. Elsa making herself a part of Maren’s predictable if not minimal life and Maren on Elsa’s arm at a fancy gala for all to see.
The why’s and the fears no longer mattered.
There were no more questions.
There was only the confirmation.
They had fallen in love.
That was why.